A Caged Bird's Diary

BY : Molly
Category: Star Wars (All) > AU - Alternate Universe
Dragon prints: 460
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, nor any of its characters. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Hi all, After about 10 years of not writing fan fiction a certain character in the new Star Wars movies inspired my dirty, obsessive brain. So here goes the first chapter of my new General Hux -centred fan fic. I hope some of you like it. Please be kind in your reviews, it's been a while and its my first Star Wars fan fiction ever. ;) There is not much in this little first chapter yet, but I hope it makes some of you curious for more. :)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I guess there are many reasons why people start writing diaries. But my reason is not like anyone else/s.

I am writing this, hoping that perhaps one day someone may find this diary and it will explain to people what happened to me. Maybe it will explain to those who know me, why I vanished for such a long time, why I act as though I do not know them anymore, and why I seemed to have turned political. Maybe this diary will reveal some truth about the leaders of the First Order and their deviance. This diary may be all that is left of me then.

When I think back to a time before I was stripped of my freedom, dignity and virginity, it feels like that was not me but a different person. I can hardly remember what it felt like to be her. And yet it is not that long ago. I am from a planet called Phython. We only have a small population. We are genetically very skilled at working with our bodies. Many of us go into physical professions. So being from Python it was not unusual for me to pursue a career as an areal performer. Being a performer meant a lifestyle of travel. My skills were not all that special on Python, but elsewhere in the galaxy people were keen to see me perform. I even got booked for some high profile events. I wasn't famous or anything, but I got around and started making a comfortable living. Beyond that, I loved my work and I loved the attention.

My agent secured me a gig on Starkiller base. We had an argument about this. I had told him I did not want to do any political gigs. I was apolitical and I did not get involved with politics. I always felt that if you start taking sides you are in danger, no matter what side you choose. I did not like the First Order and the Rebellion frightened me too. I just wanted to perform and stay out of such things. I don't know why I agreed to perform on Starkiller base. I guess my agent convinced me that it would give me greater exposure and that it would lead to more offers. In any case, I agreed and soon found myself on the terrifying weapon planet. I remember entering the stage for my performance and any reservation I had had evaporated as I was completely taken in by the grandeur of what they had prepared for me. I had never had such a huge stage, with such wonderful lighting and magic. I could not help it. I was quickly getting drunk on the attention I was given by all these powerful people in the room. It felt dangerous in all the fun ways. I am by no means a rebel. But wouldn't you relish in being desired like that? In the galaxy it is easy for me to be admired for my looks to be fair. There are only few of us, so you could consider us rare. We have a silver shine to our skin with large green eyes. We are athletic and we know how to move. Men and women tend to admire our looks alike. Having all these eyes on me, I admit, made me feel a little powerful and wanted. I admit it, I could be a bit of a flirt when I felt save. I used to feel save on stage and could not resist making a little eye contact here and there, making the audience feel like I had noticed them, yet they could not have me. I guess I was what people call a tease.

I started my act, high up in the air. It was going well. Five minutes into it or so I noticed that someone was entering and moving towards some front row seats that had been left empty. It was the young General who was in command of Starkiller Base, followed by two other men. He sat down and looked up at me slowly, like he was in no hurry to see my show. He carried a great expression of indifference, maybe even annoyance at having to be there. I admit I took it naturally as a challenge. I wanted him to admire me, the way I was used to audiences admiring me. As my performance went on, I noticed his expression changing. While at the start he looked annoyed and bored, this changed quickly. I was pleased to see his eyes starting to follow my every move. I had got his attention. I remember thinking that these eyes were magic. I was fascinated. His eyes were cold and deep and a mystery. I couldn't help myself. I felt save so high in the air. I fixed my eyes on him. I say it again, I was a flirt. Some people who saw me on stage assumed I was very sexually experienced and had affairs with many admirers or prominent people. The truth was that when I was in the air I felt in my element. I felt confident and save. It was a great place to flirt. When I was on the ground and not performing I was actually very shy. I had had the odd date but I never had a boyfriend, never mind any affairs. I just liked male attention from my save, confident place on my trapeze or in my hoop in the air. I guess I was a fool to think I was save on a trapeze on the Starkiller Base. Maybe I deserved what happened to me. I was a stupid little girl playing with fire. I was a silly bird trying to play with an alligator. But at the time, the temptation was too great. I caught his eyes fixed on me and I dared to stare right back into his eyes. I was aware he was looking at my body and it was a thrill. This powerful, mysterious young leader was admiring me and my art. I felt so desirable and foolishly, I felt I was in charge. This was my show. I failed to note, that this was his ship I was performing on. I finished my act with my eyes fixed on this young leader and left the stage, believing this was the end of that fun little tease. Instead it was the beginning of what would become my life.



You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story