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Red Daisy	By : Auska Category: 1 through F > Four Brothers Views: 1045 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Everything of and referring to Four Brothers is not mine. This is a non-profit, fan-made story. Please support the official release.

Chapter List
- 1-Red Daisy
- 1
~Red Daisy~

By: Aerys Krystie.
Theme: AU — Post movie — Jack alive.
Plot: Jack had grown tired of Bobby never believing him when he said he wasn’t gay. However, Bobby seems to always win.
Pairings (in order): Jack/OFC, Jack/OFC, Dream Bobby/Jack, Jack/OMC, Bobby/Jack.
Disclaimer: Language, slash, OOC, OC.
Disclaimer: Everything of and referring to Four Brothers is not mine. This is a fan-based, non-profit story. Please support the official release.
The physical therapy had been the worst. It hurt far more than being shot. After months and months of grueling pain, bad jokes and having to depend on his brothers for the simplest of things, Jack was finally his own person again. He would walk up the stairs with ease. He could even skate with his brothers, though Bobby flat out refused to let him join in any games. Even after the doctor cleared him, Bobby said he was going to run the risk of something going wrong.
While Jack detested that, he had to agree. He seemed to have the worst luck when it came to getting hurt and he knew Bobby felt guilty enough about the shooting. Jack really didn’t want to add to that feeling, despite it not being Bobby’s fault in the slightest. He had saved him. He hadn’t died by that pole, as much as he wanted to. Bobby had forced him to breathe and to stay alive.
Bobby had tried to stay the same, but Jack noticed that his oldest brother barely looked at him. After his last session, Bobby had clapped him on the left shoulder. “At least you ain’t limpin’ like you were fucked raw, now.” Jack couldn’t wait for those jokes to stop. He no longer needed that damned cane, either. He felt like such an old man at twenty-one, now twenty-three.
The problem with the gay jokes was that Bobby was starting to worm the idea into Jack’s mind. It didn’t matter how many chicks he banged, he couldn’t lie that he wasn’t a little curious. Thankfully, he was able to shove those thoughts to the back of his mind. At least, that was the case until Bobby came home early unexpectedly, while Jack was with one of his regular girls.
Just as she had gotten off, Jack was on the precipice of joining her, when he heard the familiar voice. “Jack?”
“Oh, my God! Bobby?” And at that moment, the most intense orgasm he ever had ripped through him as he said his brother’s name. Jack lowered his head to the woman’s shoulder, stilling hearing Bobby’s voice in his head as he came. He could feel her soft hands on his back, petting him as he came down and pulled out of her. He tied off the condom and found he couldn’t meet her gaze.
She checked outside the door and went to the bathroom, showering in under five minutes and ran back to the room. She dressed and found Jack, still sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. He’d tried to stand, but his knees were weak and a shudder still ran through him every now and again. Once she had her clothing on, she crouched down in front of him.
“I think that’s the best one you’ve ever had,” she said and Jack finally looked up. She smiled kindly and Jack flashed a mirthless one back at her.
Jack pulled his jeans on and walked her down the stairs, not surprised to see Bobby smirking at him from the living room entrance. The woman looked at him and then gave Jack a knowing look, as though she understood how he was able to come that hard to the idea of him. Jack forced a tight smile, opening the front door for her. She glanced at Bobby one last time and commented that he was very handsome.
“I’ll call ya sometime, Alice,” Jack said, trying to hurry her out of the house. He didn’t want to deal with the interrogation he was about to receive from Bobby about having strange women over.
The woman’s face froze. “Suzie,” she corrected and Jack apologized. Her eyes darted to Bobby once more. “Actually, Jack, I think it might be best if you lose my number. You were great, kid.” She kissed his cheek and left.
Jack closed the door and sighed. He held his hand up to Bobby as he turned and went back up the stairs. He went to the bathroom, showered quickly and went back downstairs dressed. He got started on dinner, hoping that if he made Bobby’s favorite, he would drop the subject. He had no idea why he thought that would work, but he was desperate at the moment to think of something other than…that.
He lost himself in making the meatloaf, exactly how Mom used to make it. He was completely unaware that Bobby was watching him from the dining room entrance, focused solely on making sure dinner was perfect. Once the loaf was in the oven, he stepped out the back door and lit up a cigarette, still unaware that Bobby moved with him. He blinked when he finally felt the eyes on him and looked over his shoulder.
“You okay, Jack?”
Not meaning to, Jack flinched as Bobby said his name and faced forward. The worst part was he didn’t feel disgusted by it. He jumped like a cat when he felt a heavy hand on his neck and jerked away from the touch, asking Bobby not to touch him, look at him or talk to him. He crushed out the cigarette in a glass ashtray and went back inside and up to his room. He had roughly half-an-hour before he needed to get started on the sides for dinner.
Somehow, he completely forgot that he was dealing Bobby and being told not to do something meant he had to do it. The door opened, but Bobby didn’t enter the room. “Jack,” he said and Jack gritted his teeth, closing his eyes. “What’s wrong, man?”
“Nothing,” Jack breathed and opened his eyes. He glanced at Bobby’s worried face. “You just have the worst timing, ever.”
Bobby smirked and nodded. “So I’ve been told, man.” He went to turn away, but paused and glanced back. “I’m sorry I made ya lose a date.”
Jack gave a tired smile and shrugged. “It doesn’t matter, man.” He found it difficult to even say Bobby’s name, which he was a little grateful about. “She was just a fuck.”
Bobby nodded. “You’re still a fairy.”
Jack rolled his eyes as Bobby went downstairs and ran his hands through his hair, mussing it up. He groaned quietly, not wanting to give Bobby another reason to come up and check him over. As he waited for time to slip by, so he could continue with dinner, his mind wandered to why he didn’t feel disgusted with himself. He’d screamed Bobby’s name before, especially when his body was torn up. He’d screamed his name before, when he was having night terrors.
Bobby was a secure presence in his life, except when he wasn’t. Bobby was that protective presence in his life, except when he wasn’t. Bobby was that one constant that Jack could depend on. If he ever had a problem, Bobby would always try to make it back home for him. That didn’t make him special, as Bobby did the exact same thing for Mom, Angel and Jeremiah. Family was the one thing they all longed for and had found in each other.
‘Family’ was also the first one to take Jack’s virginity. He hadn’t wanted it to happen, but it did. He had wanted to repress those memories, but they refused to go away. They clung to his mind, their burs in deep and constantly just off to the side. Shrinks never seemed to have the answer, as all they wanted to do was fill him up with anti-depressants, which was strange. Jack rarely felt the depressive side of those memories.
Bobby had been the one to show him that the memories couldn’t hurt him, anymore. He had given Jack new memories to draw from. Bobby never wanted to delve any further into Jack’s past, than what Jack was ready to tell him and Jack loved him, Angel and Jerry for that. Evelyn never had to ask, as she knew everything that had happened to him. Like the others, she never asked him what had him scared every night when Bobby had to leave. She just let him sleep in her room, until he felt safe enough to go back to his.
The safety was always an issue for Jack. Bedrooms were meant to be a haven; a sanctuary. He’d had that taken from him, in every home. Only with the Mercers’ did he realize that if he didn’t want to be disturbed, he didn’t have to run away. He just needed to storm up to his room. Bobby, of course, being the brightest spark in a dead battery, usually followed Jack up there if the quarrel was with him. However, unlike the other places, Bobby rarely entered the room without Jack’s permission.
Jack fought back the memories of what happened to him when he would try to escape to his bedroom in the other houses. Why did those memories haunt him, but saying Bobby’s name as he had an intense orgasm didn’t? He closed his eyes, not wanting to think about it, but knew it was too late.
Nausea finally hit him and Jack ran to the bathroom, throwing up into the toilet. The retching brought Bobby running up the stairs and into the room. “Fuck! What’s wrong, Jackie? What happened?”
Before Jack could answer, he and Bobby heard Angel and Sofi enter the house. Bobby rubbed his back and Jack just cried. The sobs were punctured by vomiting, until there was absolutely nothing left in his stomach and only stomach acid was coming up. At some stage, Bobby seemed to think it was his touch that was making Jack sick and had pulled back, putting a foot of distance between them.
“Jackie, are you okay, man?” Angel asked as he stood at the door. Sofi was in the kitchen, saving dinner before it burned to a crisp.
Jack nodded, hiccupping as he closed his eyes and tried to calm down. Bobby said he would help Sofi with dinner and Jack knew that was a war zone just waiting to happen. He swallowed several times as Bobby left the bathroom. He blew his nose with toilet paper, throwing it into the bowl and flushed the toilet. He brushed his teeth and washed his face, still feeling Angel’s worried eyes on him.
“I’m sorry, Angel,” Jack whispered and dried his face.
“It’s okay, man. You up for a hug?”
Jack lowered the towel, tears in his eyes as he nodded. “Yes!” He practically ran to Angel and hugged his big brother tightly. He felt Angel’s large hands on his back, rubbing up and down, trying to soothe him. Jack gripped Angel’s shirt, crying on his shoulder.
“Its okay, Jackie. You’re okay, now,” Angel whispered, feeling his own heart breaking as his baby brother cried. “You’re safe now, Jackie.”
Jack smiled and nodded, feeling the tears finally stopping. He sniffled and stepped back, wiping his eyes. “Thanks, Angel.”
Angel smiled and held Jack’s face in his hands, staring into his eyes. “Use us, Jack. We’re here for you, man. Stop tryna take on the world alone.’ He ruffled Jack’s hair and walked out of the bathroom.
Jack just nodded at Angel’s back, wishing he could tell his brothers what he was going through. The problem with that was he didn’t know what he was going through. All he knew was that memories were flaring up again and there wasn’t anything he could do to keep them away, aside from thinking of better ones. The downside to that was the better ones involved Evelyn and she was gone.
Drained and with a pounding headache, Jack stumbled into his room. He pulled off his tee shirt and undid his jeans, stepping out of them and collapsing on his bed. He didn’t care that his bed covers needed to be washed. All he wanted to do was sleep, until his body and mind figured out what was wrong. He was out instantly, oblivious to Bobby coming upstairs to get him for dinner, seeing him and then tucking him in. He turned out the light and closed the door, letting his little brother sleep.
Jack opened his eyes, staring into his dark room. He groaned softly and closed his eyes, seeing the images again and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. His heart raced in his chest and his apparent appreciation for the dream was painful between his legs. He had wanted his mind and body to come together, but he didn’t think it would come together in that way.
Glancing at the time, Jack realized he couldn’t have a cold shower at three in the morning. Angel and Bobby would kill him for waking them, as they had work in a few hours and Sofi would be irritable, which would be a never-ending cycle with Bobby and then Angel. Jack inhaled shakily and tried to think of anything else that would take away the hard-on
Jack’s eyes widened as his own hand moved down his body and slipped under the waistband of his boxers. He bit his lower lip as the dream played out behind his eyelids vividly. It took seconds, before he was coming with Bobby’s name in his throat. He trembled in his bed, staring at the ceiling and ignoring the tears that were falling from the corners of his eyes, only to disappear into his hair.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he whispered and used a tissue to clean up his mess. He threw it into his waste basket and sat on the edge of his bed, knowing there was no one he could turn to for help.
Inhaling shakily, Jack stood up and headed downstairs for something to drink. He frowned when he saw light coming from the living room and crept down the stairs, seeing Bobby asleep on the sofa, snoring faintly. Shaking his head, Jack smiled and went into the living room. He turned off the TV and draped the knitted blanket over Bobby’s body, refusing to look at the way the shirt had twisted and pulled tight around his chest. He grabbed a pillow off the armchair and slipped it under Bobby’s head, which woke him up momentarily.
“You okay, Jackie?”
“Go back to sleep,” Jack said and headed for the kitchen.
In the kitchen, Jack paused to make sure Bobby had gone back to sleep. The light snores started up and Jack smiled, opening the fridge. It seemed that someone had made him up a plate, but with Bobby in the living room, Jack wasn’t about to risk waking him by heating it up. Sofi had done a great job at saving the meal. He grabbed out the jug of homemade lemonade and poured a glass, returning the jug and heading upstairs, leaving his glass in the kitchen.
After grabbing his smokes, Jack went back to the kitchen and slipped out the back door with his drink. He smoked and stared up at the night sky, wondering why his life always had to be so fucked up. From being placed in abusive homes, to Evelyn dying, to being shot, to finally finding his oldest brother the sexiest thing on the face of the planet.
His anger spiked, but Jack was surprised that it wasn’t directed at Bobby. He was angry with himself, for feeling that way about Bobby. He dropped the cigarette butt into the lemonade and threw the glass at the fence, content with it hit the boundary fence with a bang and shattered. He glared at the dark spot and shivered as a cold breeze swept by him and he realized that he was still in his underwear.
“What the fuck just happened?” Bobby asked, his voice thick with sleep and Jack closed his eyes.
“There was a wolf,” Jack lied and hoped that Bobby would buy it for the time being.
“In Detroit? Pull the other one, Cracker Jack.”
Jack opened his eyes and saw that Bobby was a lot more alert. “I just lost feeling in my hand for a second. The therapist said that might happen from time to time.” The moon came out from behind the clouds and Jack saw Bobby’s disbelieving eyes.
“You lost feelin’…in your arm…as you were throwin’ your glass at the fence?” Jack frowned and Bobby chuckled. “We’ve all thrown somethin’ at that fence, little brother.” He smothered a yawn. “Did you wanna talk ’bout it?”
Jack shook his head, enjoying the way Bobby’s hair was messed up from sleep. “You got work in a few hours, man. Go back to sleep.”
“That ain’t happenin’, sweetheart. C’mon inside and talk to me.” Jack flinched as Bobby reached for him, which made him freeze. “Jack, what’s wrong?” he asked, the sleep completely banished from his face, eyes and voice as he watched his little brother intently for any other sign of distress.
Jack shook his head and wrapped his arms around himself. “I guess the anger’s finally hit from bein’ shot, man,” he said softly and lowered his eyes. “I was so stupid that day!”
“It wasn’t your fault, Jack,” Bobby said and stepped closer, relaxing a little when Jack didn’t retreat. “We were like Rome, man.” He couldn’t help but smirk when Jack frowned in surprise. “We were so fuckin’ busy with the in-fightin’ that we left ourselves open for an attack that crippled us. Unlike Rome, though, we came out on top of the fuckin’ world.”
Jack just stared at Bobby, trying to figure out if his brother had been taken over. He knew that Bobby often didn’t use the brains God gave him, but when he did, it was still surprising. Was that cocky smirk always so—? Jack forced his eyes to look up at the sky again, thinking on Bobby’s words instead of where they came from. When explained that way, it seemed obvious. He just wished he’d seen it before, instead of being the idiot to fall for the dumb trap.
Bobby slipped his jacket from his shoulders and wrapped it around Jack, shaking his head. “I guess you ain’t comin’ back in for a while. Don’t stay out too late and try not to attack the fence again, man. As you so kindly pointed out, I got work today.”
Jack shivered as he pulled the jacket around his naked torso and nodded. “I’m sorry.” He smiled as Bobby ruffled his hair.
“Don’t worry about it, Jackie.” Bobby stepped back into the house. “And don’t forget to eat somethin’, you little fairy. You gotta keep your strength up for those ladies.” He winked and disappeared into the house, leaving Jack alone with his thoughts.
Jack inhaled deeply and frowned as all he could smell was Bobby. He looked at the jacket, the crease deepening. Bobby never parted with his jacket, regardless of who was outside and in what weather. If they weren’t smart enough to grab their jacket, then they froze. He smiled and slipped his arms in, feeling warm almost instantly as he sat down on the stoop and lit another smoke, pulling his knees to his chest.
He glanced over his shoulder at the door, wondering if he could talk to Bobby about what was happening. Of course, he knew Bobby would be disgusted once it was made public that he was fantasizing about him, instead of someone else. Jack pulled his tongue through his teeth, missing the bar he’d removed after the shit Bobby gave him for it.
Sighing softly, Jack flicked the butt of his cigarette off to the side and rested his forehead on his knees. Maybe he could lie about the person he was fantasizing about. No, that would never work. Bobby always knew he was lying and refused to tell Jack what his tell was. He’d tried different tactics when lying and Bobby still knew, like he could read his mind or something. Evelyn was the same and just like Bobby, she’d refused to tell him what his tell was.
Jack lifted his head and dropped his chin on his knees, staring at the boundary fence. He wondered if this was a one-off thing. Maybe it was just poor timing with him and Bobby and his mind had made the connection of an orgasm that shook the earth and Bobby. He didn’t like that explanation, either. It didn’t make that much sense, since he’d had decent experiences with blowing his load. Hell, his mind was usually blank when he reached his end, when he thought about it. All he focused on was the feeling.
As the sun rose, Jack realized that all he’d done was go around in circles in his mind. He lit another cigarette and sucked in the chemicals and nicotine as he heard Angel and Bobby wake up and get ready for the day. Once he’d finished, he stood up and crushed it out in the ashtray, heading inside. He slipped off the jacket and left it hanging over the back of a chair in the kitchen, while he got the coffee going. If Angel and Bobby didn’t have at least one and a half cups in them, they were beastly, as Sofi described it.
Bobby was the first into the kitchen; hair slicked back and dressed for work. “I thought I told ya not to stay out too long?” he said as he waited for the coffee to finish brewing.
“Sorry. Kinda lost track of time,” Jack mumbled as he rubbed his eye and grabbed the milk from the fridge.
“Do you feel any better?”
Jack looked up and saw the concern in Bobby’s eyes, before he looked away. “Not really,” he answered honestly. “Nothing seemed to help.” He shrugged as he started on the pancake batter. He forced back a shudder as Bobby’s hand landed on his neck. “Don’t worry about it, man.”
“That ain’t happenin’, sweetheart,” Bobby said and smirked as he poured a cup of coffee and tipped most of the sugar container into the mug, sitting down at the table. “Did you wanna talk—?”
“No!” Jack kept his back to Bobby, focusing on their breakfast. He could feel Bobby’s curious eyes probing him from the table. “Not right now,” he added and poured the batter into the pan he’d set up as he tried to ignore Bobby’s gaze. “It ain’t right, yet.”
As the pancakes bubbled away, Jack went to the fridge and got what he needed to make lunch for his brothers. He flipped the pancakes and poured Angel’s coffee for him, knowing that if he let Angel do it, most of the liquid would end up on the counter and the floor. He held it out as Angel entered the kitchen. Sofi took over the pancakes, plating up the three that were ready and handed them to Bobby.
“I don’t know how you do it, Jackie,” Sofi said as she poured the batter into the pan for Angel.
Jack’s head snapped to her and he swallowed his fear. “Ah…Do-Do what?” he asked as his eyes flitted to Bobby for a second. Knowing what he’d done, he looked at Angel and then back to Sofi.
The woman smiled kindly, though with a hint of confusion. “Do their lunch and their breakfast at the same time. You make it look so easy.”
“That’s—” Bobby forced his mouth shut at the glare from Angel and Jack. “Ma taught him well, so he’d make a good wife,” he said instead and smirked as Jack narrowed his eyes. “His husband’s gonna be so proud of him!”
Jack closed his eyes, swaying where he stood. He forced his eyes open and shook his head, finishing the lunches and easily sealing them with cling wrap. He grabbed their lunchboxes and cleaned them out, placing their sandwiches in and putting the boxes on the table as Sofi served up Angel’s pancakes. She asked Jack if he wanted any and he shook his head, wanting to pass out. Unfortunately, he knew he couldn’t do that until he washed his bedding.
Once they’d finished their breakfast, Angel and Bobby headed out. Angel kissed Sofi and Bobby pulled on his gloves, glancing at Jack. “No hug for ya husband?” he asked and grinned cheekily, which stretched as Jack blushed.
“Oh, my God, Bobby! Just stop!”
Bobby lost the grin as he regarded Jack seriously. “That first part sounds familiar,” he said and opened the door.
“I’m gonna shrink your favorite pair of jeans!” Jack threatened as he fought off the blush, which earned him a hearty laugh from his big brother.
“Don’t let him get to ya, Jackie,” Angel said and hugged Jack tightly. He ruffled Jack’s hair as he pulled back and grinned. “See ya tonight, little brother.”
Jack watched as Angel slipped into the passenger side of Bobby’s car, which had been restored by hand in the eighteen months that Jack was in physical therapy for. Apparently, Bobby needed something to do with his hands that didn’t involve killing someone and decided to restore instead of destroy. Sofi waved to Angel as Bobby pulled out. Jack stayed outside until they were out of sight and then went back to the kitchen, cleaning up the mess he’d created.
“Did you want to change, Jackie?” Sofi asked and gestured towards Jack’s lack of clothing.
Jack blinked and looked down at his body. He had completely forgotten that he was walking around in just his boxers. He smiled sheepishly at Sofi and ran upstairs, throwing on jeans and a tee shirt. He grabbed his bedding and went downstairs, separating the quilt and cover, shoving it into the washing machine and got the cycle started, as Sofi filled the sink.
They did the dishes in silence for a little, before Sofi looked at him and Jack lowered his head. He knew she wanted to ask him something and wasn’t sure how to approach the subject and Jack didn’t want to know what the subject was.
“Are you okay, Jackie?” she eventually asked as she drained the sink and dried her hands with paper towel.
Jack put away the dishes he had dried and shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt, if that’s what you mean.”
Sofi pursed his lips slightly and shook her head. “That isn’t what I meant,” she said quietly and glanced at the table where Bobby had sat. “I know that Bobby can be…irritating at the best of times. But you seemed scared this morning.”
Jack wiped down the table in the kitchen, mostly just to do something aside from look into her questioning eyes. He honestly had no idea what to tell her, aside from the truth and he didn’t need her telling Angel, who would then tell Bobby. The silence stretched on and Jack finally sighed quietly, glancing at her as he had wiped the same spot for the last two minutes.
Her expressive eyes weren’t judgmental, but wide with worry. She really cared about what was happening to him and she almost had no choice in the matter, either. Being part of the Mercer household meant that everyone cared about what was happening to another member. However, while they were getting revenge for Evelyn’s death, Jack had spent some time with Sofi and gotten to know her. He’d helped her with the dinner she spent two hours on, especially since she left the kitchen looking like a war zone.
Sofi smiled when Jack remained silent. “I know you and your brothers are close, but sometimes it helps to have an outside opinion.”
Jack looked up at her, biting the inside of his lower lip. As much as he wanted to tell her, he didn’t want to jump to conclusions. Instead, he smiled and shook his head. “Nothin’s wrong,” he said and decided that he just needed to find another woman to sleep with.
Sofi didn’t press the matter after that. Once the kitchen was cleaned, she said that she was going to see her mom and Jack nodded. As soon as he was alone, Jack found his cell phone and opened up his contacts. He deleted Suzie’s number, as it seemed she didn’t want to deal with Bobby coming home early again and looked for one that would be down for a quick hook up.
He smirked as he found one and called her. She picked up after the second ring. “Jack! I wasn’t sure if I’d ever hear from ya again,” she said and Jack chuckled.
“Well, you know how it goes when you’ve been shot, Leslie,” he replied and stood up, going into the living room. “I was wonderin’ if you could work a little of your magic on me?”
Leslie giggled and Jack forced back a wince. It wasn’t as nice as he remembered. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes, sugar.”
Jack hung up and sat on the sofa, staring at the blank screen of the television. He was completely unaware of the time, so when a knock sounded on the front door, Jack flinched and instantly looked around for Bobby. He closed his eyes and sighed. He wasn’t going to be shot again, he reminded himself, but he glanced back to where Bobby had stood while Jeremiah defended himself. He frowned as he remembered seeing Bobby’s eyes follow his movements from the sofa to the door.
With a fake smile, Jack opened the door and invited Leslie in. She removed her coat and looked around, going into the living room. She shook her strawberry blond hair behind her shoulders and let her eyes take in all the repairs that had been done to the house. She turned to him and smiled, walking up to him and kissing him deeply. Jack kicked the front door closed and took Leslie up to his room, breaking the kiss long enough to make it up the stairs without injury.
She pushed him onto the bed and undid his jeans, pulling them and his boxers off easily. She raised an eyebrow. “Gonna make me work for it today, huh?” she asked with a sly smile and nodded toward the still flaccid penis that would normally be standing at attention by that time.
“I figured you’d enjoy the practice,” Jack joked and smirked as Leslie knelt between his legs.
He tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling as her talented mouth and hands worked his cock. As usual, Jack focused on the feeling of it and eventually his eyes closed as he grew to enjoy the sensations. His eyes flew open as Bobby’s face appeared behind his lids and he looked down at Leslie, watching as her head bobbed. He placed a hand on her hair and she pulled back, smirking at him.
Jack pulled her up the length of his body and kissed her lightly, changing their position. As his hand slipped between her legs, he wondered how would feel to have a dick there instead of the warm wetness. He looked at her breasts, placing his spare hand on one and enjoying the softness. Again, he wondered what it would be like to feel the pectoral muscle and if a male would whimper as much as Leslie did when he played with the nipple.
Pushing all those thoughts out of his head, reminding himself that he wasn’t gay, Jack grabbed the condom box and pulled off a square. With it in place, he slipped into Leslie, staring at his pillow that was behind her head as she moaned and squealed with pleasure. He went through the motions, trying to block out the way she got louder as he went faster and harder. He raised his eyes to the shelf above his bed and his eyes widened as he saw the usually innocent photograph up there.
Jack’s hips moved harder as he stared the picture. Leslie’s screams of bliss faded into the background as Jack focused on his breathing. The photo was taken a few years ago, but the person hadn’t changed much in it. Bobby was sprawled out on the sofa in his Red Wings jersey and jeans. His dark eyes were sparkling mischievously as he smiled cheekily at the photographer. Jack didn’t know who took the photo or how it came to end up in his bedroom, but as he stared at it, committing every detail to memory, Leslie was going through her second orgasm.
Biting his lower lip, Jack closed his eyes and tried to focus in on Leslie’s heavy breathing. He wasn’t gay! He remembered the way Bobby said his name the previous day and Jack came, crying out as the orgasm ripped through his body. He knew he had Bobby in mind and he wasn’t entirely sure if he said his name or not, but he couldn’t move as the last of it shuddered through his body. He opened his eyes and looked at the photograph, but quickly looked away and rolled to the side.
Leslie stayed where she was, panting. After a minute, she sat up and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. “Jesus, Jack,” she breathed and looked over shoulder. “I didn’t know you could come that hard!”
Jack gritted his teeth and forced a smile. He pulled off the condom and tied it up, placing a hand over his eyes and trying to stop his teeth from chattering. He jerked away from Leslie’s touch, telling her get dressed and get out before his brothers got home. He could feel her indignant eyes on him as she did as she was told. The front door was slammed and Jack finally opened his eyes. He curled into a ball and cried.
Once again, he didn’t feel disgusted by it. Instead, he felt ashamed that he’d gotten off to the idea of his brother. He’d gotten off to a photo of his brother. He fantasized about his brother. For once in his life, Jack wanted to know why that shit always had to happen to him. What had he done to deserve anything that happened to him? He tried to be a good kid. He tried to be a good son. He tried to be a good brother.
As he cried, wondering where everything went wrong, he was unaware of Sofi returning to the house. He was unaware of her following his sobs, seeing his pose and then running back downstairs to call Angel and Bobby. He was completely unaware of his brothers returning home at lunch. He was unaware of the fear that rippled through them at seeing him that way.
Eventually, he cried himself to sleep, finally feeling disgusted with himself for thinking of a brother like that. He remembered waking up to someone dressing him and telling him that everything would be okay. He recognized the voice as Bobby’s and fought the urge to latch onto him. He felt a rough hand on his forehead, pushing his fringe out of his eyes. He stared into Bobby’s eyes and then rolled away from him. He didn’t want to be around the man that had fucked him up without trying.
The nights were proving to be the worst part of the day. Jack realized that he wasn’t safe anywhere. His mind was a constant battle between what it wanted, what it needed and what was wrong. He knew that his mind and body wanted Bobby and would even claim to need him. His mind knew it was wrong to think of his oldest brother like that, but that voice was being quieted every moment.
Jack was almost scared to sleep at night, but he needed some kind of reprieve from his brother. He needed some kind of break from everything that was Bobby, which never worked out for long. The dreams would usually just be really nice and leave Jack feeling loved, warm, secure and safe. He could almost feel Bobby’s arms around him, holding him close and encasing him with his body heat. He loved the way that Bobby would stroke his hair and he could hear him murmuring comfort to him, letting him know that everything would be fine, eventually.
Then there were the dreams that were almost like nightmares for Jack. They were the dreams that had him trying to force his mind to wake up, before he could scream Bobby’s name and have his brother running into his room and seeing the mess. All Jack wanted was to go back to the way everything was before Bobby came home early and gave him the best orgasm he’d ever experienced.
As it was, Jack was lying on his bed and staring up at the ceiling. He had his light off so he wouldn’t be disturbed by anyone. He had his hands behind his head, mostly to stop them from wandering down his body as he thought about his brother. That was the biggest problem he was having. Masturbation was becoming a huge issue. It took him years to realize that masturbating wasn’t weird or disgusting and that it was his hand touching him. He tried not to think about his teen years, where he was a little confused. He often used Bobby as a tool to get off to, because he was fifteen and puberty was a bitch and he wasn’t entirely sure if he liked males or females.
Now that he was twenty-three, he knew for a fact that he preferred females, but there was something about Bobby that seemed to call out to Jack. He hadn’t thought of his brother in that sense for the last six years of his life and he had no idea why they were coming back. He wasn’t sure if Bobby saying his name as he got off was the entire reason behind it, as he’d used Bobby as a tool to get off to before.
He didn’t want to think about it, but being alone in his room, at night with the rest of the house quiet, he couldn’t help it. His mind was refusing to think of anything else that wasn’t Bobby. His mind was refusing to think of anything else that wasn’t Bobby’s strong body pressed against his. He sighed and sat up, running his hands through his hair. He could feel his body reacting to the idea of Bobby’s body pressed to his. It wasn’t a bad thought, but it wasn’t…right.
Jack got up and left his bedroom, heading downstairs and out the backdoor. He lit up, letting the cigarette hang from his mouth as he rubbed his arms. He was starting to think that he shouldn’t walk out of the house during the fall in only his underwear. He was also thinking that it wouldn’t do him any good to stand out there for too long, as he rarely came to any conclusion while staring at the sky.
The door opened behind him and Jack looked over his shoulder. “You okay, Jackie?” Bobby asked and Jack nodded with a small smile. He really, really didn’t want to deal with Bobby at night.
The nights were meant to be his safe zone. He was only meant to see his oldest brother in the morning. He’d taken to making dinner early and leaving Angel’s and Bobby’s in the oven on a low heat. He crushed out his cigarette, knowing that there was still a couple of days that he had to himself before the weekend hit and he couldn’t escape his oldest brother.
Jack slipped past Bobby, trying not to touch him in the slightest and almost ran back to his bedroom. He closed his door and inhaled deeply, going to his bed. A couple of minutes later, he heard Bobby going up the stairs and stop at his door. Jack swallowed thickly and prayed he wouldn’t knock. He was almost certain that his heart stopped when he heard the gentle tap on the wood.
Trying not to tremble, Jack opened the door and his eyes widened when he saw Bobby was leaning against the frame and his face was right there. “Stop runnin’ from me, Jack,” Bobby said and pushed his way into the bedroom, which took Jack by surprise. Bobby never entered his room without permission, which told him that Bobby was going to lecture him or do…something else.
“What do you want, Bobby?” Jack asked softly and stepped back from his brother, trying to keep his distance while pretending that wasn’t what he was doing. “Shouldn’t you…” He trailed off when he realized that Bobby was shirtless and was in his sweatpants.
Bobby stepped forward and placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “What’s wrong, Jack?” he inquired, his voice gentle and worried.
Jack looked at his brother, his heart pounding in his chest at how close he was. His body was already reacting to Bobby’s touch and he got the feeling that he was dreaming, especially when he looked down and saw that the sweatpants had changed to a pair of boxer briefs. He frowned and looked up, moaning softly when Bobby kissed him. He was held in place by his brother’s strong hands.
The next thing Jack knew, he was on his bed and Bobby was kissing throat. He bit his lower lip, trying to stay quiet. He waned to know how far this dream was going to. It rarely went as far as the penetration, which always had him waking up wanting. He gasped as Bobby’s hot mouth worked down his chest and to his abdomen. His cock was painfully hard and needing a release.
He placed a hand on his brother’s head, gripping his thick hair and messing it up. Bobby raised his head, pulling down the boxers that Jack wore, freeing his erection. He bit the inside of his lower lip as Bobby looked his body over, taking in every detail, every scar and every tattoo. His rough fingers ran over the scars and tattoos, making Jack gasp and arch into the touch. He kicked off his boxers and changed their position, which Jack figured would be more difficult in reality than in his dreams.
Bobby looked up at him, arching a brow. Jack lowered his head and pressed his lips to Bobby’s, shuddering at the contact. He loved how firm Bobby’s lips were, taking charge of the situation, but never fully forcing Jack into a position he would be uncomfortable with. Jack pulled back and ran his tongue over those lips that could either frighten him or comfort him. He placed soft kisses down Bobby’s jaw and throat, feeling those rough hands on his back and shoulders as he moved down.
Jack ran his tongue and teeth over the rosary tattoo, listening to the sharp intake. He made his way down the powerful torso, pausing at the band of the boxer briefs, hooking his fingers over it and pulling them down and off his oldest brother. He ran his hands along his strong legs, taking in the scars that appeared to be from glass fragments on the outer thigh of the left leg. He licked his way up the thighs to the very neat patch of pubic hair that Bobby had, which made Jack raise an eyebrow. He wasn’t sure if that was accurate, but if it was, he probably shouldn’t be that surprised that Bobby kept his appearance trim and neat.
He suddenly realized that he had no idea what Bobby’s cock looked like and he knew he couldn’t run the risk of trying to catch a peek of it, either. He was trying to remember when he saw Bobby’s legs in order to know he had the scars on the left thigh. He ran his hand over the area where the penis would be, watching as his mind brought up a temporary template for him to use and he frowned. Having a dick in his hand wasn’t as strange as he thought it would be, but that could also be because it was Bobby’s dick in his hand and he trusted Bobby with his life.
Jack gasped as Bobby changed their positions and bit his neck, which had him choking back a moaning scream. He knew Bobby had done that to place his mark on his little brother and he wished that when he woke up, it would be there. He would proudly show off the bite he received from his brother. He wanted the world to know he belonged to someone that cared about him.
He gripped the sheets of his bed as he felt Bobby’s rough, hot hand on his erection, stroking it painfully slowly. He felt pinned to the spot when Bobby looked at him. He saw those dark eyes watching him; memorizing every detail about him as he received pleasure. He wanted to beg his brother to give him what they both needed, but also knew he had to remain silent. He couldn’t have the real Bobby hearing him, despite wanting to scream his name and show him what he did to his baby brother.
Pursing his lips, Jack’s hips bucked into Bobby’s hand. The idea of getting a hand job from his brother was surprisingly exciting. He didn’t want to think too much on it, but as he opened his mouth to either beg or moan, Bobby leaned down and kissed him deeply. Jack gripped his brother’s neck, holding him in the kiss as their tongues met and danced. He knew that Bobby would be an amazing kisser, especially as his tongue curled around Jack’s and slid against it, teasing and promising at the same time.
Bobby broke the kiss and Jack breathed heavily against his shoulder, clinging to him. He wasn’t sure what was happening, but he was getting close to his end. He also knew that would mean he’d wake up just before Bobby could finish him off. He heard Bobby’s breathing in his ear; could almost feel the hot breath against his shoulder and neck. Jack gasped and bit Bobby’s shoulder, smirking internally as his brother moaned quietly and his hand increased its speed.
So close, he was so close. He opened his eyes and gazed at Bobby, seeing those usually hard eyes that were blown with lust and looking at him with tenderness and love. He wasn’t sure if that his mind playing tricks on him or if there was something he never noticed about the way Bobby looked at him. His brother leaned in closer, his breath dancing across his lips and Jack closed the distance. The kiss was softer than the previous, but Jack loved it. He felt special to have Bobby being that gentle with him.
The kiss deepened, which Jack was grateful about. For the first time since the dreams started, he didn’t force himself to wake up. He didn’t force himself to think of something else. He allowed his body and mind to have the fantasy. He allowed it to play out and he came hard from just a hand job, his moan lost in Bobby’s mouth as the hand continued to milk him for every drop.
The hand slowed and eventually stopped, but Jack continued to cling to Bobby. He felt that warmth wrap around him and hold him close. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, to the point that it was unbearably annoying. He tried to calm it down, but the pounding was persistent and getting louder. His mind finally detached from the dream and he realized that it was his bedroom door that was being knocked on and not his heart.
The dream melted away and Jack blinked. His quilt was wrapped around his shoulders, giving him the illusion of Bobby holding him. His stomach was a mess and his boxers were on the floor. The banging got louder and Jack realized that the person on the other side was seconds from walking in and shaking him awake. He groaned and said that he was awake, even though he wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and lose himself in the dream again.
Bobby’s voice sounded on the other side, asking if he was okay. Jack shuddered and cleared his throat, saying that he was fine. He wasn’t going to have a conversation with Bobby. In fact, he needed to forget about what he was dreaming. The disgust and shame of using his brother as a way to get off slammed into him and Jack rubbed his eyes, wishing he was somewhere else. For the first time since he arrived back home, Jack wished he was back in New York with his band. At least there, he could pretend he was a regular person and not some sick fuck that was lusting badly after his oldest brother.
The next two days were easier. With Angel and Bobby at work, Jack found that he could relax. Sofi hung around, engaging him in conversations about cooking. He taught her how to make éclairs and the easiest way to ice a cupcake. She acted as though she hadn’t found him crying like a bitch, which worked for him. It made him feel like nothing had changed. For the next two days, Jack could almost believe he was normal. He could pretend he wasn’t having dream sex with his oldest brother.
On Saturday, Jack decided to change things up. He wanted to make lasagna, but Sofi was preoccupied with Angel in their room and Jack really didn’t want Bobby near him. He stood under the spray of the shower, watching as the water went down the drain. He could always make lasagna on Monday, when Sofi would be able to help him. Evelyn believed in making pasta by hand, which she passed on Jack and he refused to get an electric pasta roller.
He washed quickly when he heard Bobby waking up, which usually started with a loud yawn. For the last three days, he’d managed to avoid him. He refused to get cornered in the bathroom, in his birthday suit. He was almost certain that Bobby hadn’t noticed anything different in his behavior, aside from keeping his head down as he was questioned by Angel and Bobby about why he was crying. He was grateful to Sofi, who managed to tell them to back off him, until he was ready.
As much as he adored Sofi, she really didn’t know the first thing about the Mercer boys. They didn’t care if someone was ready to talk or not, they would force it from them. Jack smiled, before he laughed. They were all a little messed up, he decided and turned off the water, just as the bathroom door opened. He grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his hips before stepping out.
Bobby was brushing his teeth, watching him from the corner of his eye. Jack kept his head down and walked past his oldest brother. He was expecting Bobby to question him, but all he did was spit the foam out of his mouth and say that he would be out for the night. Jack nodded and went to his bedroom, closing the door. He dried and dressed, feeling some of the tension leaving him. If Bobby was out, they would be asleep when he came home drunk.
Jack sat on his bed, running his hands through his hair and resting them on his neck. You’re not gay, he reminded himself as the shower turned on and refused to think of the dreams that told him otherwise. He knew he should head down to get the coffee and breakfast going, but it sounded as though Angel and Sofi wouldn’t be down for another hour and Bobby didn’t care about routine on the weekends. He sighed and raised his head, glancing at the photograph on the shelf. He flinched and looked away from it.
With a deep breath, he grabbed the frame and left his room. He went downstairs and placed it in the dining room, where the others were. He went into the kitchen and got the coffee going, while he started a batter for waffles. Somehow, Bobby seemed to know when the coffee was done as he entered the kitchen in jeans. He grabbed his mug and Jack actively looked anywhere that wasn’t Bobby’s shirtless torso.
He fought to keep his body still as Bobby stood beside him and poured coffee into the mug. The seconds dragged on and on, until Bobby added the sugar and finally moved away to sit at the table. Jack slumped against the counter, breathing heavily. Before Bobby could fully realize he was fighting off a panic attack, he made the waffles, placing them on the table and calling out that breakfast was up. He grabbed his smokes and stepped out the back door.
“Jack, what’s wrong?”
Jack shook his head. “Nothin’, man. Didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“Nightmares?”
Jack lowered his eyes. Bobby would always believe him about the nightmares, but he couldn’t exactly say they were. They left him feeling warm and safe, until he woke up and realized what he’d dreamt about. He had never told them what the nightmares were about, but he knew they knew it was about the past. They all had nightmares of what their lives were like before Evelyn rescued them.
He gasped and spun around, tripped over his own feet and fell to the ground, staring up at Bobby as he felt the hand on his neck. “Don’t touch me,” he said and saw the hurt flash through Bobby’s eyes, before he nodded.
“Okay, Jack. I won’t touch you.” Bobby crouched down and watched Jack. He knew that if he asked, he wouldn’t get the answer he wanted. “Jack…” He fought back his own flinch as Jack did. “I’m not gonna hurt ya, man. I need to know what’s got ya so scared, though.”
Jack forced back a sob and closed his eyes. He was tired of crying and not being able to turn to anyone for comfort or support. He sniffed and opened his eyes, glancing at the rosary that Bobby had tattooed on him. He finally looked at Bobby’s concerned face and he knew that not telling his brother what was wrong was destroying him. All Bobby ever wanted to do was help him, but Jack knew he was beyond saving.
Swallowing thickly, Jack slowly got to his feet. Bobby mirrored him, feet shoulder width apart as though he was expecting Jack to attack him or run away. As much as he wanted to, Jack knew he there wasn’t anywhere he could run to where Bobby wouldn’t find him. He smiled bitterly at that idea. Much like the lying, Bobby always knew where he went in order to be alone.
“I’m sorry,” he finally whispered and lowered his eyes. He frowned he realized he was staring directly at Bobby’s chest. “It was a bad one.”
Bobby hesitantly took a step forward, unsure of how Jack would react. Jack knew that Bobby was much more of a physical person and offered comfort through his touches. He forced his legs to stand their ground and lowered his head when he felt Bobby’s large hand on his neck. He looked up at his brother through his fringe. He pulled away when he felt the urge to kiss his brother and went back inside. Dreams were one thing, but he refused to ruin his family by acting on them.
He heard Bobby calling to him as he went up to his bedroom. He closed the door and heard Bobby sigh, just as Angel came out of his bedroom and asked what was wrong. Jack fought back the guilt as Bobby explained that Jack was having nightmares again. He looked at his bed, before he crawled under it and curled into a ball, closing his eyes and humming a song that Evelyn loved.
The day wore on. He heard the others knocking for lunch and Sofi asking if he was okay. They all went unanswered and eventually night fell. Jack inhaled deeply and crawled out from under the bed. He straightened his shoulders and changed his clothing, going for his tightest jeans and a tight tee shirt. He shoved his feet into his boots, grabbed his jacket and his wallet and went to the bathroom. He ran coconut oil through his hair and found his chap stick.
He went halfway down the stairs and hung around awkwardly as he waited for Bobby to leave the living room, as he didn’t want to be questioned. He blinked as he saw that Bobby was dressed up for a night out, as well. His jeans were tighter than usual, as was his shirt. His hair was slicked back from his handsome face and Jack looked away, kicking himself for thinking of Bobby as handsome.
Bobby stood up and headed towards the dining room, so Jack made a dash for the front door. He decided to pick up a pack of smokes on his way to wherever he was going. He’d just opened the door when he heard the voice he didn’t want to hear.
“Hoo-ee!” Bobby said and wolf whistled. “Don’t you look sexy?”
Jack slowly turned to Bobby and saw that he was walking down the hallway from the kitchen. “Thought I’d take a note from your book and get hammered,” he said with a shrug.
Bobby laughed and ran his eyes over Jack. “Got ya knife?” Jack ran upstairs and grabbed the switchblade from under his pillow, slipping it into the front pocket of his jeans. “Got your ID?” Jack nodded. “Got money for a cab home or to call for us?” Again, he nodded. “All right, have fun, you little fairy.”
“You, too, man,” Jack said and slipped out the front door. He raised an eyebrow and glanced over his shoulder. Bobby was such a mother duck at times.
He walked the streets, hands in the pockets of his jacket as he looked for something to take his interest. He ignored everyone that called out to him. Just as the Saturday night started to pick up, Jack found what he was looking for, after stopping into a store to pick up smokes and a lighter. He looked up at the building, wondering if he wanted to go in. He sighed and went up to the door, showing the bouncer his ID and paying the fee to enter.
Jack entered the dark club, which was bouncing with some dance number blaring from the speakers. The floor sparkled with what appeared to be half a ton of glitter. The dance floor was crammed with writhing bodies as the people enjoyed themselves. Sofas and chairs were filled with friends and lovers talking and laughing. He ducked and weaved his way through the bodies, making straight for the bar.
As he waited, Jack hooked his thumbs in his back pockets, rocking on his heels. He glanced to his left when a real pretty boy stood there. His brown eyes were bright, surrounded by eyeliner and glitter. His short brown hair was messed up and he had a pretty smile. Jack gave half a smile back and stepped up to the bar. He wasn’t after a pretty boy, but it wouldn’t hurt to have a friend in the area, at least.
The bartender looked up and smiled. “Oh, hey! You’re a newbie, ain’t ya?” he asked over the music and voices. He laughed when Jack nodded. “Don’t look so scared, kid. If you keep lookin’ like a bunny, the wolves are gonna chew you up and spit you out. What’ll it be?”
“Shot of Jacks.” Jack drinks Jack. Jack shook his head and pulled his wallet out. The bartender shook his head, telling him first drink is always on the house. “Make it a double, then.”
The bartender raised an eyebrow, but made the shot a double. “First time out in this scene?” he asked and smirked when Jack nodded. “You here alone, sweetheart?”
Jack downed the shot and placed the glass on the bar. “Rookie mistake to say yes?” he called back and grinned as the bartender stared at the empty glass. He held up the bottle and Jack nodded.
“Little bit of a mistake to say that. You don’t know what kind of creeps are in the shadows, man.”
“Hey, Michael, goin’ out for a smoke, man!”
Jack’s eyes widened and he looked in the direction that the bartender did, who Jack assumed was Michael. He saw the back of Bobby walk into the storage area and his mouth fell open. Michael glanced at Jack and laughed. “Bobby has that effect on people,” he said and moved down the bar to take the order of someone else.
The song changed to something a little slower and people began pairing up, moving to the floor and Jack took one of the vacated stools. He declined another drink and stared at the storage area, waiting for Bobby to come back through. He had no idea that Bobby had taken a second job.
“You okay, kid?” Michael asked as he stacked glasses.
“Yeah,” Jack said and offered Michael his shyest smile, ducking his head. “How long has Bobby worked here?”
Michael shrugged. “Last eight or so months, I guess. He was here when I started. Seems to be a favorite of the pretty boys, if your reaction is anythin’ to go by.”
Jack looked up and blushed, ordering another shot. He downed it and bit his lower lip, wondering if Bobby took the job just because he needed or wanted it or for another reason, like taking home a very willing bed partner for the night. He paid and stood up, enjoying the buzz he had happening and moved onto the dance floor as the song changed. He scanned the faces of those around him, trying to find someone that wasn’t working that took his fancy so he could put this experiment into motion.
He ducked and weaved through the bodies, especially when he felt hands on him. He made sure his wallet and smokes were still where they should be, while he slipped wallets from people’s unprotected pockets. By the time he got to the other end of the dance floor, he had nine wallets in his hands and closed his eyes. Some habits were a bitch to stop. He sat down in a sofa, after dropping the wallets on the floor and kicking them back into the dancing mass.
With a sigh, Jack dropped onto the sofa and kicked his feet onto the table in front of it. He glanced to his left when someone sat down beside him, surprised to see it was the bartender. “Lookin’ for a tip?” Jack asked.
Michael laughed and shook his head, easing back on the sofa. “Went for a break. Bobby can handle the bar easily alone.” His eyes dropped to Jack’s thighs. “Wanna go for a smoke?”
“Fuck yes!” Jack breathed and followed Michael out a side door. He opened his packet and offered to Michael, who accepted and struck the lighter. Under the lights of the club, Jack had mistaken Michael to be quite young. Under the outside light, he could see that Michael was around Bobby’s age, which worked fine for him. “How long is your break?”
“Depends on if Bobby wants to get his dick sucked or not,” Michael answered, keeping his eye on the door.
“Really?” Jack bit his lower lip to keep the smirk from his face.
“By the end of any night, he usually has five or six that would die for a piece of him. If they ain’t his type, he lets them down gently or just tells them to fuck off.” Michael glanced at Jack. “Any particular reason you’re so interested in him?”
“Oh, I knew of him when he was the Michigan Mauler,” Jack answered with a wave of his hand and exhaled the smoke in his lungs. “Just curious about what his type is.”
“You,” Michael answered as he narrowed his eyes slightly. “Tall, slim and really pretty. I’m Michael, by the way.”
“Jack. Jack Mercer,” he said and held his hand out.
Michael hesitated in taking the hand. “Bobby’s little brother, Jack?” he clarified and dropped his cigarette to the ground, crushing it out under his shoe when Jack nodded. “I gotta get back in.”
“What?”
“Look, everyone knows who Bobby Mercer is and what he’s capable of. He’s broken up and caused more fights than the bouncers have. We keep him around because he brings in the ass. If you’re lookin’ to get lucky tonight, I suggest you don’t say your last name. Everyone in this club knows that Jack Mercer is off-limits.” Michael smiled and went back inside, leaving Jack alone.
Jack stared at the closed door, feeling his rage bubbling. Even in a scene that he wouldn’t normally be in, Bobby was already fucking him over. He knew that Bobby was looking out for him, but he could also let Jack live a little to make his own mistakes.
Finishing his smoke, Jack went back into the club and straight up to the bar. He growled quietly when he saw that Bobby wasn’t behind it. Michael caught his eye and pointed to the dance floor. Jack smiled his thanks and turned around, searching the crowd. He found Bobby kissing some twink-looking motherfucker and stormed up to them. He shoved the scrawny bitch to the side and felt a spark of cold pride when he saw Bobby’s eyes widen as he looked up at Jack.
The bitch that Bobby was apparently trying to hit it off with came back up to Jack. “Back off, bitch. I’ve laid my claim on him.”
Jack tilted his head slightly and raised an eyebrow. “Claimed ya, huh?” he asked and then turned on the other, punching him. “I claimed him long before you even knew him!”
Bobby sighed and grabbed Jack around the waist, dragging him off the floor and behind the bar. He threw him into the storage area, telling Michael to get the bouncers in to settle everyone down. He turned to Jack and watched as he paced the length of the room, eyes full of fire, which never left Bobby.
“All the fuckin’ shit you give me about bein’ gay and you’re gay?!”
Bobby rolled his eyes and rested against the door. “You never fuckin’ asked. Also, I ain’t gay.”
“Bisexual or whatever. Either way, you enjoy dick!” Jack stopped pacing and glared at Bobby. “You actually had me thinking I was gay, Bobby! And then I find out that everyone here will piss their pants if they find out what my last name is, because of you?”
“Jack, I only joked around with you. Mostly because you look like you belong in a gay porno.”
Jack’s eyes widened. “That’s how you seriously try to ease the decade of psychological torture you put me through?!” He could feel the tears starting to drip down his cheeks. “I trust you, Bobby! And you fucked me up more than anyone else!”
Bobby glanced at the door and then back at Jack. He approached his little brother, placing his head on his shoulder. “I never meant to hurt ya, Jackie. Why didn’t ya tell me it hurt?”
Jack rested his hands on Bobby’s hips, gripping them tightly. They felt as good as he thought they would. “I was tired of being weak, Bobby,” he said and closed his eyes. “But then…what happened on Monday and I…”
“I didn’t know I was gonna home early, Jack. I didn’t know you were gonna have a…friend over, either.” Bobby massaged Jack’s neck and sighed. “I’m sorry.”
Jack wanted to hate Bobby. He wanted to leave and never see his face again, but he knew that he couldn’t. He couldn’t hate Bobby. If nothing else, Bobby is his older brother and he couldn’t turn his back on family. This was also the first time that Bobby actually apologized for his jokes. He wondered if he’d said something sooner about the psychological torture if it would’ve made Bobby stop with all the gay jokes.
Sniffling, Jack turned his head, keeping it on Bobby’s shoulder and bit his lower lip. “I wanna experiment with Michael,” he whispered and felt Bobby tense.
“You ain’t gonna start with someone you trust?”
Jack frowned. He couldn’t be sure, but he thought he detected a hint of jealousy and Bobby had yet to look at him. He kept silent and chewed his lower lip, really enjoying the taste of the chap-stick. Bobby finally looked down at him and then pushed him away, saying that he needed to get back to work. Jack refused to let the hurt show on his face.
“If you wanna have Michael fuck ya, that’s your choice.” Bobby placed his hand on the handle of the door and then looked over his shoulder. “Why’d you punch my fuck buddy?”
Jack snorted. “What, you had no problem being his property?” He shook his head.
“He had a point, Cracker Jack,” Bobby said and turned around. “He’d placed his claim on me first. If you ever do that again, I’ll deck ya.”
Jack cocked an eyebrow. He wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or the adrenaline of trying sex with a guy for the first time, but he was feeling a little cockier than usual when it came to Bobby. “Ya sure ’bout that? Thanks to you, I’ll have to beg Michael to fuck me.” He blinked as Bobby’s hands became fists. “What is your problem?”
“These are the kind of people I sleep with! They’re sleazy and they’re easy. Most of ’em don’t want anythin’ beyond a good fuck.” Bobby shook his head and then tilted it back, allowing Jack a good few moments to stare at his throat. “You shoulda told me you were curious, man. I coulda set ya up with someone.”
“What about you?” Jack froze when he heard that slip out of his mouth. He stared at Bobby, terrified that he was about to be punched for even thinking something that disgusting.
Bobby chuckled. “You ain’t my type, Jackie.”
“Bullshit! I’m exactly your type!”
The mirth dropped from Bobby’s face. “Fine, then you’re my brother!”
“Not by blood!”
Bobby gritted his teeth and narrowed his eyes. He went to say something, but someone knocked on the door and said he needed a hand around the bar. “I’ll be there in a minute!” he snapped and heard the other stutter out a reply. “I ain’t gonna fuck my baby brother, Jackie.”
“You said I should do it with someone I trust. I don’t trust anyone more than I trust you, Bobby.” Jack sighed when Bobby just shook his head and walked out of the storeroom. Squaring his shoulders, Jack followed Bobby out to the bar. “Damn it, Bobby! What do I have to do?”
Bobby’s smile froze slightly as he poured the cocktail and handed it to pair at the bar. He turned to Jack, hooked his foot around his ankle and tripped him. “Figure out if you actually like it, first,” he hissed into Jack’s ear, helping him up. “You ain’t supposed to be around this side, sweetheart.”
Jack glanced at Michael as his hand landed on his shoulder. He nodded and let Michael lead him around the bar and towards the smoking area again. He lit up and rested against the wall, bending at the hips. “Isn’t he ya brother?”
“We’re adopted.” Jack looked up and gave a small smile. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
Jack shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. “You seem like a nice guy and all I’ve done all evenin’ is talk about Bobby. You don’t deserve that.”
“You’re right; I don’t.” Michael finished his smoke and then leaned down. “But I’ll let ya make it up to me.”
Jack smirked and shrugged, hoping to hide the fact his heart was hammering in his chest. “Who says I’ll make it up to ya?”
“Ya don’t have ta if ya don’t wanna. Just know ya gonna break my heart.” Michael hesitated a moment and looked around. Seeing that Bobby wasn’t anywhere around, he quickly pressed his lips to Jack’s, before he went back inside.
Jack lowered his eyes, unsure how he felt about that ‘kiss.’ It wasn’t repulsive, but it wasn’t really a good kiss, either. However, Michael was the first guy to kiss him without forcing it on him. Jack sighed and stayed outside for the rest of the night, speaking to those that asked to borrow his lighter. He felt himself relaxing and enjoying their company.
His attention was drawn to Bobby coming out for a break. He quickly looked away when he saw that three others had gathered around the oldest Mercer. He ignored the way Bobby laughed and joked with them. He fought back the bitter jealousy that was rising in him and accepted a drink from the beer that someone held out to him, rolling his shoulders when he felt someone’s eyes on him.
Looking over his shoulder, he found Bobby staring at him and shaking his head. Jack bit his lower lip and handed the bottle back to the guy he took it from. He knew it was a stupid move, as he could’ve been drugged, but he just needed something to take his mind off of Bobby. He tensed when someone touched him and looked into Michael’s dancing eyes, saying that they would be closing soon.
Jack nodded and looked around. He and one other were still out there. The other was on his phone, crying and apologizing to person on the other end and Jack raised an eyebrow. He smiled and stood up, telling Michael he would wait for him out front. Michael nodded and went back into the club with Jack behind him. As Michael went back to the bar to clean up and shut down, Jack made his way through the bodies that were stumbling around and wondered why people went out if they couldn’t hold their liquor.
He made it out the front and inhaled deeply. He was nervous. He was about to have his first time with another man. He wasn’t sure if he should tell Michael that he wanted to know he was experimenting. After how kind the man had been, Jack didn’t want to be a complete dick to him. Still, he was a little scared that it was a stranger he was going home with.
In a matter of minutes, the sidewalk was filled with the patrons. Designated drivers were screaming for their friends and trying to pull them over to the car. Cabs pulled up and people stumbled over. Some were in the alley, throwing up everything they’d drunk. As time ticked by, Jack glanced over his shoulder. The bouncers at the door had disappeared and he wondered where Bobby and Michael were. He was praying that Bobby hadn’t beaten the hell out of Michael when a door in the alley opened.
Bobby walked out, talking to someone. “I’ll catch ya next week, then,” he said and walked out of the alley. “You goin’ home with Michael?”
Jack licked his lips and nodded. Bobby inclined his head and headed down the street. “Bobby!” When his older brother paused, Jack walked up to him and stopped a foot from him. “I’m sorry about the way I acted tonight. You…I know you tormented me out of love.”
Bobby turned around, opening his mouth to say something. Jack’s name being called made him stop. He placed a hand on Jack’s neck and pressed their foreheads together. “You don’t let him do nothin’ you ain’t comfortable with, okay?” When Jack nodded, Bobby released him. “If he does, you tell me, you little fairy.”
Jack’s eyes widened at the murderous glint that entered Bobby’s eyes as he looked around Jack. He was suddenly terrified of his older brother and stepped back. Bobby blinked and the glint left his eyes. He smiled quickly and walked down the street. Jack watched him go, before his name being called again got his attention. He turned and walked up to Michael, who was standing beside a cab.
Getting into the backseat, Jack automatically did the seatbelt. He could almost hear Bobby’s voice in his head about that and noticed the curious glance he got from Michael as he gave the driver his address. Jack took note that the address was around three miles from home, just in case things got weird. He jumped when Michael’s hand settled on his knee, which made Michael remove it immediately and apologize.
Jack looked at Michael, drawing similarities between him and Bobby. While Bobby was shorter, he certainly had a powerful body. His walk and stance just screamed power and death to anyone stupid enough to take him on. Michael was taller, with a lean body. He wasn’t nearly as slim as Jack, but he certainly wasn’t as strong as Bobby. His facial features were a little more delicate than Bobby’s, as well.
Michael felt his gaze and turned to him, smiling. His hazel green eyes danced and Jack looked down, plucking at the frayed edges of the hole in his knee. He had no idea what he was thinking. He was certain that Michael would be an attractive man, but there was something about him that just wasn’t doing it for Jack. A little voice in his head told him that he only wanted Bobby, which only made Jack glare at his jeans and decide he was going to have a good time with Michael, even if it meant hating himself in the morning.
As the cab pulled over and Michael paid, Jack slipped out and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket. He followed Michael into the apartment building and to the elevator, up to the fifth floor and down the hallway to the last door. He heard whining from a dog as the lock was turned and his eyes widened as a massive, brown and white St. Bernard jumped onto Michael.
“Jack, this is Allegro.” Michael lowered the dog down and Jack stepped closer, holding his hand out. “Don’t let his size scare ya. He’s a giant teddy.”
Allegro sniffed Jack’s hand and then licked his fingers. Jack placed his hand on the dog’s head, loving the soft fur. Michael went into the apartment and Jack followed. He laughed as Allegro sniffed at his feet and then his knees, pushing against them. Jack stumbled slightly as Michael asked him if he wanted a coffee, Jack needing one if he was going to survive any longer. He went to the kitchen and it seemed that Allegro had been well trained, for he sat down where the carpet stopped and the tile began.
“He’s beautiful,” Jack said as he watched Michael make the coffee to make sure nothing was slipped in. “How long have you had him?”
Michael looked at the dog proudly. “Four years. I rescued him from a shelter when he was a puppy. A lot of people don’t want a large dog, but I find them far more intimidating than a terrier,” he said as he handed a mug to Jack. “Oh, um, do you have milk and sugar?”
“Yes, please. One sugar and a splash of milk.” Michael took the cup back and added the sugar and milk. “Thanks.” He followed Michael into the living room, grinning as Allegro shadowed them. He sat on the edge of the sofa, holding the mug between his hands.
“How long have you been out, Jack? Bobby seemed very surprise to see you there.”
“Well…Technically, I’m not…out. I’m not sure if I…am.”
“Ah, so you’re experimenting?”
Jack kept his head lowered. “Yeah. I mean…I don’t—I’m not sure if I’m—” He broke off in a sigh and petted Allegro’s head as he rested it on his knee, trying to curb his fear, which spiked when Michael placed a hand on his shoulder. His eyes widened as Allegro snapped at Michael.
“Allegro,” Michael warned and the dog whined, nudging Jack’s hand. “Jack, what made you think you might into guys? I mean, Bobby says that he teases you about bein’ fairy, but even I could see that he didn’t really think you are.”
Jack took a mouthful of the coffee, mostly for something to do and to moisten his mouth that suddenly felt dry. He knew it was a stupid idea, as caffeine was a dehydrator. “It’s kinda…sick.”
“Ah,” Michael said knowingly and sat forward. “You can only get off thinkin’ about Bobby?”
“Oh, God. How the fuck did you know?” Jack stared at him, fear and shock in his eyes as he tried to figure out how Michael could read his mind.
Michael smiled and shrugged. “I saw the way you punched out the bitch he was kissin’. You were so jealous that someone else had what you couldn’t.” He knocked Jack’s shoulder gently with his. “You can rest assured, though. You ain’t gay or even bi.”
Jack frowned and tried to figure that one out. “Wait, so the only way I can get off is by thinkin’ of my brother, but that don’t make me gay or bi?”
“Bein’ in love with another man don’t actually make you gay or bi. You can’t help lovin’ who you love, Jack,” Michael said and patted Jack on the shoulder. “If you think about it, you might find that you’ve gotten off to him more often than just recently.”
“But…he’s my brother!”
“Your adopted brother, if I remember your words right,” Michael clarified and grinned. “You should try talkin’ to him about it. I think he might go for ya.”
Jack sighed and shook his head. “He told me he ain’t gonna fuck his baby brother.” He gripped his right shoulder, massaging the scar there from the bullet.
Michael finished his coffee and placed his mug on the table. “I think he believes he’s doin’ it outta brotherly love, but the way he threatened me tonight reminded me of a time a man let his partner fuck someone else. I’ve never been threatened to be set on fire while alive, though.”
Jack laughed, pressing his lips together quickly. “I’m sorry,” he said, his shoulders still shaking. “That’s one of his favorites.”
“And it sounds awful. Trust me when I say he loves you more than you and he think. He’s not gonna make the first move, though.” Michael looked at the clock in the kitchen. “Did you want me to call a cab?”
“Actually, do you mind if I crash on your couch?” Jack asked as he petted Allegro. “I kinda wanna fuck with Bobby, mostly because of the shit he’s given me over the years.”
Michael chuckled and nodded. “You can take the bed. Allegro will keep you safe.” He stood up and went over to the balcony door. “There’s no smokin’ inside, though.”
“That’s fair,” Jack said and went over to the balcony. “And I ain’t about to kick you outta ya bed, man.”
“It’s fine. He’ll be able to tell if you slept on the sofa or not,” Michael stated as he lit up and sat on one of the wicker chairs.
Jack sat beside him and raised his eyebrow, before lighting his cigarette. “Mind sharin’ the bed with me?”
Michael glanced at him. “I’m gonna be in so much trouble, ain’t I?”
“Little bit,” Jack agreed and ducked his head as Michael ruffled his hair. Once they finished their smokes, they went inside and to the bedroom. Jack kicked off his boots and jeans and pulled off his shirt. He collapsed on the bed and stretched out, unable to believe he hadn’t upgraded from the single he had. “You aren’t gonna do anythin’ to me, are ya?”
Michael had undone his jeans, but stopped and stared at Jack. “I don’t mess with another man’s man. And I think Allegro would kill me if I did somethin’ you didn’t like. He’s taken a real likin’ to ya.”
Jack turned his head and saw that Allegro was sitting beside the bed, watching over him. He grinned and ruffled the fur between the ears, before he got under the covers. Michael turned off the lights and Jack heard him stretch, before wishing a goodnight. Jack did the same and fell asleep rather quickly, feeling safe with the dog in the room. Though, he got the feeling that Michael would be true to his word and not mess with something that belonged to someone else. There was also the fear of Bobby that Michael had, which would work for Jack instead of against him, for once.
After paying the cab driver, Jack went to the back door and unlocked it with the spare key, which he returned to its hiding spot. Once inside, he removed his boots to keep his noise down. Michael had woken him at seven when he went to the bathroom to shower. Jack had rinsed his mouth with mouthwash and had a coffee, before Michael walked him out of the apartment and to a waiting cab. Jack hadn’t wanted to leave and tried to see if he could take Allegro with him. Michael had said Jack was welcomed there any time he wanted, as long as Bobby was on his best behavior.
As he passed the living room, Jack paused and looked at Bobby’s sleeping form. He shook his head when he saw the empty beer bottles on the table. He placed his boots down and arranged Bobby more comfortably on the sofa, before he dropped the blanket over his body and shoved a pillow under his head. He pulled back and jumped when he saw that Bobby was staring at him, smirking knowingly.
“Ya first gay walk of shame, huh?”
“Go back to sleep, Bobby.”
Jack went to leave, but Bobby caught his wrist. “Did he hurt you?”
Shaking his head, Jack removed Bobby’s hand. “No. Now, go back to sleep, while I clean up your mess.”
Bobby released him and fell asleep instantly, while Jack collected the bottles and took them through to the kitchen. He heard Angel’s door open and closed his eyes, praying it was Sofi that was awake. He wasn’t sure if he could handle Angel’s taunts at him sneaking into the house at nine in the morning. He rinsed out the bottles and placed them in the recycling box, not wanting to wake up Bobby just dropping them.
Jack looked up when he heard Angel singing and sighed softly, getting the coffee going. All he really wanted to do was go back to sleep. He got a batter started for pancakes, surprised to see Bobby walk into the kitchen at the scent of coffee. He knew his brother would be hung over, so he went upstairs and into the bathroom, grabbing the aspirin. He was in and out in seconds and Angel was none the wiser.
Back in the kitchen, he placed the bottle in front of Bobby and grabbed him a glass of water. Bobby groaned and said he’d prefer coffee. “I’d prefer if you didn’t drink yourself into a coma, but we don’t get what we prefer.”
Bobby raised an eyebrow and threw back a handful of pills with a mouthful of water. “Damn, little brother. You got bitchy after your first gay fuck.” He finished the water and took the glass to the sink. He grabbed his mug and filled it with coffee, pouring most of the sugar container into the mug.
Jack shrugged, watching Bobby’s face and body language. He was relaxed, but Jack had been around long enough to read the way his jaw and mouth was set. Bobby was pissed off that Jack had come back so late and he was almost certain there was a hint of jealousy. Jack knew he could be imagining the jealousy, but it made him feel better thinking that Bobby was pissed off and jealous that some stranger took his brother’s gay virginity.
Sofi came into the kitchen, yawning and stretching. She froze as she looked at Jack and raised an eyebrow. “You were wearing those clothes last night, Jackie. And you didn’t come with Bobby…” Her eyes widened and she grinned, hugging him. “How was your first time?”
Jack blinked and looked at Bobby, unable to believe he’d told them. Bobby shrugged. “They know I tend bar on Saturdays at The Drunk Fairy. I only told them that I saw ya there, man. You were the one that decided to sleep with a stranger.” He stood up and took his coffee into the living room.
Sofi stared after him for a moment, before turning her eyes back to Jack. “Don’t listen to him, Jackie,” she said and patted him on the shoulder. “I think he’s pissed because he didn’t get lucky.”
“I didn’t let him get lucky,” Jack said and Sofi blinked. “He had his pick of anyone in that club—anyone.”
Sofi lowered her eyes for a moment, thinking it through. She looked up sharply and then gestured between Jack and the living room. “You mean, you want him—”
“Don’t even get me started on how fucked up it is,” Jack said as he poured coffee into a mug and handed it to Sofi.
“That isn’t what I was gonna say, Jackie. Maybe you were brought together as brothers for this reason. So you can both find love,” she said with a shrug.
Jack frowned as Sofi walked out of the kitchen. He hadn’t even thought to look at it that way, deciding that it was just fucked up because they were raised as brothers. He chewed his lower lip, turning back to the stove and making the pancakes. He knew that Angel would be starving and Bobby needed something in his stomach, so he pushed what Sofi said to the back of his mind.
It stayed in the back of his mind as they ate in silence around the kitchen table. It remained there as Jack did the dishes. It waited as a car backfired, which made him drop a plate and grip his right shoulder. It was left behind as he focused on Bobby’s words, telling him that everything was okay. He tried not to think about it as Bobby told him that the guys who hurt him were dead. It was forgotten by the time Bobby had finished sweeping up the broken plate.
It was brought to front of his mind, as after he finished the dishes, he sat on the sofa and stared at the TV screen. He sat as far as he could from Bobby, making himself as small as he possibly could as he remembered the way he’d thrown himself at his brother the previous night. He tried to fight off the shame and guilt he felt for ruining Bobby’s night.
“Jack,” Bobby said without taking his eyes off the screen. “Did you really let him fuck ya?”
“Remind me again how that’s any of your business?”
Bobby looked at him suddenly, running his eyes over him. “You didn’t sleep with him!”
Jack glared at him and stood up, heading up the stairs. He didn’t want to know how Bobby knew nothing had happened, especially since he knew it wouldn’t be mentioned. He had wanted Bobby to think that he could get any guy he wanted, which he could. He was pretty enough to get any person he wanted…except Bobby. The one person he wanted more than life and he couldn’t have him.
“Jack, there’s nothin’ to be ashamed about!” Bobby called up the stairs and Jack turned to him. “Not everyone is gonna go through their first time with someone they don’t know, man.”
“And what about your first time, Bobby? Did you fuck your first guy, despite him bein’ a stranger?”
“Of course, I did! I ain’t got the same trust problems as you, Jackie. I could have a one-night stand without any problems. But I know you need to be with someone you trust, especially if it has a dick.”
Jack closed his eyes and hung his head in shame. Of course Bobby would scream that up the stairs to him, so everyone else in the house could hear it. “Damn it, Bobby! Did you wanna shout out that I tried to get ya to fuck me last night, as well?”
Angel cleared his throat and Jack shrank back, pressing his back to the wall beside his door. “Were you drunk when that happened, Jack?”
Shaking his head, Jack looked at Angel. His face was guarded. “No. I had a couple of shots in me, but I knew exactly what I was doin’ and sayin’.”
Angel breathed out in relief. “Thank fuck for that, man. If it’d come out while you were drunk, you woulda been so embarrassed!” He grinned and squeezed Jack’s shoulder as he passed him and went down the stairs. “Jack, I don’t give a shit who you fuck, as long as they don’t break ya heart, man.”
Jack’s eyebrows went up and looked down at Bobby, keeping his face blank. Somehow, Bobby seemed to know what he was thinking and feeling, as he shook his head and went back to the living room. Glaring at the floor for a moment, Jack went downstairs. He would be damned if he wasn’t going to get a decent reason from Bobby about why he wasn’t good enough.
“You can’t use that as an excuse now,” Jack said as he stood in front of the TV.
“Get out of the way, Jack,” Bobby said as he set his jaw and pursed his lips. “I’m not gonna fuck ya, man. Get over it.”
Jack winced at the words. He couldn’t remember the last time someone discarded him so easily. It certainly hadn’t happened in the time he spent under Evelyn’s roof. He lowered his eyes. “Why ain’t I good enough for you?” he asked quietly and looked up, seeing pain flash across Bobby’s face for a moment.
“I ain’t havin’ this conversation, Jack. Just accept the fact that I don’t love ya like that, man.” Bobby stood up and went to the foyer, pulling his jacket on. “Goin’ out,” he called to Angel and Jack felt like he was punched in the solar plexus.
Jack fell to a knee, battling to breathe. He flinched and pulled away from the hands that were on his shoulder, holding him securely. “I went through hell for him! I went through insanity, tryna accept that I love him like that!” He swallowed, trying to keep his blind rage down.
Angel sighed and scratched his neck, glancing at Sofi. She shook her head slightly. “I gotta, baby. Jackie, he’s tryna get ya to hate him.” His eyes widened when Jack’s head snapped to him. He got to his feet and stood in front of Sofi protectively. That Mercer temper was a scary thing at times.
Jack felt his breathing return to normal, as a strange sort of calm settled on him. He’d cried himself to sleep nearly every night for the past week, scared that Bobby would hate him because he loved him like that. After the shitty life he had, he should’ve known that Bobby would never see him as anything more than a little brother and he should be grateful for that.
Then why was his chest so tight? Why did he want to murder someone? Why was he wishing that Bobby hadn’t saved him that day, eighteen months ago?
Angel watched as Jack’s face went blank and his little brother walked out of the living room. He moved quietly, seeing Jack pull on his boots and then leave the house without a word. He sighed and turned to Sofi. Her eyes were downcast, as she knew what Angel did. One or both of his brothers wouldn’t return to the house that night and they’d be fractured, once again.
“Baby, I need you to follow Jack and talk to him. He’s less likely to destroy your face than he is mine. I’ll find Bobby and try to talk some sense into him.” Angel kissed Sofi on the lips quickly, before he grabbed his jacket and ran out of the house. There was really only one place Bobby would go when he was upset.
“Two peas in a pod,” Sofi muttered as she followed Jack.
Much like Bobby, Jack ended up at the outside rink. They glared at each other from opposite ends and Sofi had her cell phone in her hand, 911 ready to go. She stood beside Angel, watching the two brothers that were in love. She was curious as to why Bobby had flat out turned down Jack. She figured Jack would be the calming influence Bobby needed in his life. He also needed someone that could look past the hurtful words and get to the truth of the matter.
Bobby and Jack continued to glare at each other, neither taking notice of anyone else around them. Sofi glanced at Angel and nodded, stepping up to Jack and placing a hand on his shoulder. He jerked it away from her touch and she pursed her lips. She would be damned if she was going to be ignored because both of them were too stupid to see what was right in front of them.
“Do you plan on leaving us, Jackie?” she asked and tried to keep the pain from her voice when Jack nodded. “Where will you go?”
“Anywhere that isn’t here.” Jack finally looked away from Bobby, lowering his eyes. “I’m tired of having nothin’ but pain from this city. Every time I show up, all it does is try to kill me.”
Sofi closed her cell phone and turned her back to Angel and Bobby. She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Why would you let Bobby win?”
Jack blinked and looked at her, frowning with confusion. “Let him win?” he repeated and shook his head. “He just ripped my fuckin’ heart out, burnt it, pissed on it and then forced me to fuckin’ swallow the remains!”
Sofi jumped slightly as Jack kicked the boundary of the rink and shook her head. “You let him do that,” she stated and gladly accepted the glare he sent her way. “You should know that Bobby isn’t good at expressing himself! Just look at the way he does everything. If brute strength doesn’t work, he’ll force it to work!”
Jack turned away from her, walking a few steps, running his hands through his hair. He turned to her suddenly and then gestured toward Bobby. “I can accept it,” he finally said, unable to actually say he could accept that Bobby doesn’t love him. “I just don’t wanna…live with it!”
“Don’t you ever think that again!” Sofi warned and slapped Jack’s arm. “Look at everything he’s ever done for you. He loves you so much more than you’re willing to see. You two have been…dancing…around each other for as long as I’ve known you!”
Jack froze, thinking back to his teenage years. When he was finally able to jerk off, he realized that Bobby was the one in his dreams and fantasies. Bobby was everything that Jack wanted and needed in a partner. He shook his head and sniffled as tears started to burn in his eyes. “No. I’m just done, Sofi. I can’t—I won’t put up with it.”
“So…your plan was just to run off, without him knowing how you really feel?”
Jack sighed softly and gazed at Sofi blankly, feeling drained. “He knows how I feel about him, Sofi. I just…I just don’t know what I did to make him feel like I should hate him.”
Sofi’s mouth fell open at how thick Jack really was. She closed it and shook her head. “You really don’t see how you look to him?” She felt a small spark of hope when confusion entered Jack’s baby blues. “He sees you as something pure. You’re something he doesn’t want to taint, with who and what he is.”
Jack thought back to when Bobby didn’t want him to be part of the beat down the hired shooters received. Bobby felt the need to protect him from the corrupt bile that roamed the streets and lurked in the shadows. He didn’t want his baby brother to lose the innocence all of them claimed he had. He was the baby of the family and always would be, until he was sullied. Every time Bobby needed to break the law, he would make sure Jack wasn’t around or made sure he never actually saw what happened.
Sofi spun around when she heard grunting. She shook her head as Angel and Bobby got physical, but she knew that was the only way Bobby ever learned anything. Unfortunately, she also knew that Bobby could accidentally kill Angel in his anger. She ran around to the other side and pushed Bobby off of Angel and stood over him. She raised an eyebrow as Jack placed a hand on Bobby’s shoulder and pulled him back, amazed at how fast Jack’s touch worked on him. She couldn’t believe that both of them were being so stupid and stubborn. Of course, she also knew that was a Mercer trait.
Angel groaned as he sat up. “He still hits like a fuckin’ freight train!” he complained and tenderly touched his cheek. “If you needed anymore proof, just look at that, Bobby! You’ve always tried to keep your temper under control when he’s around!”
Bobby growled and pulled his shoulder free. “All of this because I only love him like a brother?” he demanded.
Jack pulled Bobby back, further away from Angel. “Bobby, just stop! I get it, okay? I’m fuckin’ repulsive to you! But you don’t get to beat Angel to death for that!” Before any of them could respond, a dog barked and Jack looked toward it. “Allegro!”
Sofi watched as Jack ran over to the dog and the owner, raising an eyebrow as she saw the owner. He was a handsome man and she was surprised that seemed to Jack’s type. The dog owner didn’t have the same kind of deadly aura that Bobby had. Her eyes returned to Bobby and saw the hurt and jealousy he was trying to smash out. The heartache of Jack running towards another person was killing him and Sofi had no idea why Bobby didn’t just make it known that Jack was his.
“Bobby…” Sofi swallowed and squared her shoulders when Bobby looked at her. “Nothing you ever do will make him hate you. He’ll kill himself, trying to figure out why he’s not good enough for you, but he’ll never hate you.”
“And how the fuck do you know that?”
“Because he’s hopelessly in love with you! And think about everything you know about Jackie. If he feels he isn’t good enough for someone, he’ll want to know why. You need to talk to him! If he leaves or dies, it’ll be entirely your fault!” Sofi bit the inside of her lower lip as Bobby’s eyes widened for a second, before he narrowed them.
Angel stood up and worked his jaw. “He’s ya savin’ grace, big brother.”
Bobby rolled his eyes. “If I agree to talk to him, will ya both stop spewin’ that sappy shit?”
Sofi glanced at Angel and smirked. “Only if you talk to him and don’t lie to him,” she agreed. “If you break his heart again, I’ll be posting daily affirmations everywhere you go.”
Bobby scoffed and shook his head, heading for his car. “Just make sure he comes home,” he called over his shoulder.
Sofi exhaled shakily, looking at Jack and the dog owner. “If Bobby fails, at least Jackie has a nice man to settle down with,” she said and nodded towards the pair.
Angel followed her eyes and raised an eyebrow. “He’s a piss poor version of Bobby,” he said and shrugged when Sofi glared at him. “He seems nice, but he ain’t what little Jackie-poo wants or needs.” He wrapped an arm around Sofi’s shoulders and watched his baby brother talk to the guy for a few minutes. “Hey, Jackie! Let’s go, man!”
Jack looked over his shoulder. He said goodbye to the guy and his dog and jogged over to them. The three of them made their way to Bobby’s car, Jack slipped into the backseat behind his oldest brother and Sofi behind Angel. The car ride back to the house was tense. Jack couldn’t seem to sit still, until Sofi placed a hand on his shoulder and told him that everything would be okay. She smiled and hoped it would be.

Bobby dropped Angel and Sofi off at Jeremiah’s, in order to give him and Jack some privacy. He glanced over his shoulder and saw that his little brother was asleep, head against the window. The emotional battering he put him through that day seemed to have worn him out. He sighed softly as Jack woke with a gasp and looked around frantically. He didn’t think that the nightmares would attack him while he was in the car.
“You’re safe, Jackie,” Bobby said softly as he pulled into the driveway and parked. He slipped out and pulled the seat forward. He saw Jack’s tired and frightened eyes land on him. He could see that Jack didn’t believe him, but he nodded and stepped out of the car gracefully.
Bobby shook his head and closed the door, heading towards the backdoor of the house. Jack went through first and Bobby stopped him before he could lock himself away in his room. He needed Jack to know why they couldn’t be together, despite wanting nothing more than to keep him safe and protect him from people that only wanted to hurt him.
“Bobby,” Jack said quietly and Bobby frowned as he saw the blank stare. “I don’t care why you don’t love me like that. I don’t care if you think you’re protectin’ me. What I do care about is the fact that some slut is worth your time and affection, rather than your brother.”
“Jack, that’s not—”
“You sure about that?” Jack laughed dryly and without humor. “Wanna know the best part?” he asked and lowered his eyes. “I ain’t even gay or bi.” He looked up again and Bobby wanted to lower his gaze; he didn’t want to see the myriad of emotions playing through Jack’s expressive eyes. “I’m just gay for you.”
Bobby wished he didn’t love his little brother way he did. Every time he left, he could forget how sick he was for wanting to kiss and touch his brother the way one would a lover. Every time he returned, he was reminded why he wanted to love Jack that way. He’d see the smile and the way his blue eyes danced whenever Bobby walked through the door, giving him a spark of hope that he would return the feelings. That hope would be destroyed whenever Bobby teased him about his sexuality, though.
He’d felt relief when he thought Jack was going to die that day, but he still fought to keep him alive. Somehow, Bobby had learned to enjoy the pain he got from his non-platonic feelings towards Jack. He hated it when he hurt him. He hated it when Jack wouldn’t turn to him for support and comfort. He hated it when Jack felt as though he couldn’t trust him. Though, now that Jack was willing to love him back, Bobby couldn’t bring himself to allow it was real and that it was happening.
“I never wanted you to be gay for me, Jack. I woulda preferred you stay straight and not even know that I was around. I can’t be another man in ya life that hurts you.”
“You’ve never intentionally hurt me, Bobby. Except for right now. You’re fuckin’ destroyin’ me, right now. You want me to fuck around with someone I trust, which I can’t do because of my trust issues, which you helped me through. Now, you’re puttin’ new issues in me.” Jack held his right shoulder and turned away, trying to hide the pain it was causing him.
“What’s wrong with ya shoulder, Jackie?” Bobby asked as he forced Jack around and massaged the area. “Has it been hurtin’ a lot?”
“It’s psychosomatic,” Jack said and pulled away from his big brother’s hands. “I gotta leave, Bobby. I can’t be around you, knowin’ that you’re not strong enough.”
Bobby blinked as Jack walked up the stairs and followed him. “Get back here, you little fairy,” he said, feeling his temper spike. “You don’t get to say you’re leavin’ and not give me a chance to respond.”
Jack stopped outside his bedroom and stared at Bobby. “If I leave, I can start to repair myself and you…” He shrugged his left shoulder. “You can do what and whoever the fuck ya want, man.” He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “And if I ain’t around, I ain’t gonna do somethin’ stupid.”
“What stupid thing could you possibly, Jackie?”
Jack laughed and Bobby was relieved to see some humor returning to him. “I know I’m the jealous type, Bobby. If I see you with some skank, I’mma kick their ass. Then I’ll probably make them watch as you take me, just to show them that you’re mine.”
Bobby blinked. He wasn’t expecting that. However, he could see that Jack was telling the truth. “You really feel that way about me, Jack? What about all ya declarations of not bein’ gay?”
Jack sighed and shrugged, sliding down the door. “I don’t know, man. Michael told me to think about how often I used you as a tool to get off to, which I didn’t want to do. I just thought it was puberty, but then…” He closed his eyes and tilted his head back. “I was doin’ everythin’ I could to not love you.”
Bobby threw himself down beside Jack. He placed a hand on Jack’s neck, watching as he instantly relaxed under the familiar touch. It really was the only way that Bobby knew how to offer him comfort and it always seemed to work. His eyes widened slightly as Jack’s head rested on his shoulder and he tried to calm his racing heart. He didn’t want Jack to feel obligated to return his feelings, despite saying he’d always felt that way. It was too good to be true.
He tilted his head down and kissed the top of Jack’s, feeling him smile against his shoulder. “You know there’s gonna be times that I hurt you, right?”
Jack straddled Bobby’s legs, pressing their lips together softly, a soft moan slipping out. He pulled back slightly and stared into Bobby’s eyes. “As long as you fix me afterwards.”
Bobby ran his fingers through Jack’s hair, searching those baby blues. “I’ll fix ya as good as I did that red daisy vase ya got Ma,” he promised and smirked when he saw confusion flick through Jack’s eyes.
“That was never bro—”
Bobby silenced Jack with a quick kiss, before tilting his head back and running his tongue along his little brother’s throat. Jack moaned softly and Bobby grinned. “That’s how good I am at fixin’ shit, Jackie.”
Jack leveled his head, resting his forehead against Bobby’s. “I love you,” he murmured and Bobby closed his eyes, repeating those words through his head. He’d waited so long to hear them being said in that manner.
“I love you, too, you little fairy.”
Jack chuckled and shook his head. “Fucker.”
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Red Daisy