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Five Times Megamind Slept With Metro Man	By : tripperfunster Category: zMisplaced Stories [ADMIN use only] > Megamind Views: 2757 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Megamind or any of it's characters, nor do I make any money from them.

Chapter List
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The first time it happened, Wayne muted the strings of his guitar with one broad hand and cocked his head, ears straining. It wasn’t that his hearing had diminished from lack of use these past few months, but a knock on his door was so unexpected and startling that he almost couldn’t (wouldn’t?) believe it was true.

The knock came again, somewhat louder and more insistent and Wayne lay his instrument aside, weighing the options of answering verses not. His fortress of solitude had been exactly that. Solitary. He had yet to be discovered by Jehovah’s Witnesses and Fuller Brush salesmen and he very much preferred it that way. And yet, even a man who valued privacy above all else required some sort of social interaction, didn’t he?

He crossed the room and turned the doorknob before allowing himself the time to second guess his decision. The door swung open to reveal someone small, and blue and decidedly haggard looking.

“Hey,” Wayne said, his surprise most likely showing in his voice, “What’s up?”

Megamind grinned apologetically.

“I … I’m sorry. I should have telephoned you first, but I uh … I didn’t have your number, and I … I didn’t know how else to get a hold of you.” Those big, expressive eyes darted around nervously. “I just … I needed--”

“Are you okay? Is ROXANNE all right?”

Megamind waved his hands dismissively. “Yes, of course. Its nothing like that. I just needed … your … advice.” At the last words his voice fell to a mumble, and it was only Wayne’s keen hearing which enabled him to understand.

“Advice? Really? From me?”

Megamind sighed, his shoulders slumping. “Look. You don’t have to make this any more difficult that it already is. I’m sure you have all sorts of important ‘rich people’ things to do, so if you’re not willing to help me, then just say it outright, and I won’t darken your doorstep again.”

Wayne chuckled and pushed the door open, making a sweeping gesture of welcome. “As it turns out, my ’important rich person’ schedule is wide open.”

Megamind tentatively stepped in to the large room, his hands fisted in his cape. At Wayne’s friendly nod he sat in a white, plush chair and Wayne took the one beside it.

“So, what’s up, little buddy?”

“I’m not your buddy,” he replied, fingers still twisting nervously in his cape, “and I’m not sure why you insist on calling me that. We haven’t spoken for … months, and I doubt we’d have ever spoken again if I hadn’t come over.”

“It’s possible,” he replied, “but we used to talk all the time. Weekly even.”

“Banter.” Megamind corrected. “We used to banter. It’s not the same.”

“So we didn’t get together and drink tea and talk about our feelings. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. We were still conversing. And admit it. It was kind of fun.”

Megamind grinned despite himself. ‘It was,” he conceded. “I’ve got to tell you, although there’s no lack of bad guys wreaking havoc in Metrocity these days, none of them have an iota of style. Whatever happened to putting a little effort into your work?”

“I don’t doubt it,” chuckled Wayne. “Style was something you had in spades.”

Megamind’s cheeks flushed and he stifled a yawn. “I know, but that’s not what I’m here about.” He paused for a moment, choosing his words, then took a deep breath and pressed on. “How did you stand it?” he asked, forehead creasing. At Wayne’s look of non-comprehension he continued. “The people. The crowds. The reporters? I had no idea there were so many reporters in this city!”

“Yes, well, you seemed to mainly just focus on one.”

“They all want me. Well, not ME, but a piece of me. ’Sign this!’ ’Smile here!’ ’Be the face of our new advertising campaign.’ And the touching! And grabbing! And pulling! And the women! Oh God! The women! I honestly can’t get a moment’s peace.”

“Yeah … the women,” said Wayne dreamily. "That’s the one thing I do miss.”

“You’re kidding, right? They don’t want to get to know me, they just want one thing.”

“Yup, that’s what they want, alright.”

Megamind’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell me you … gave it to them!”

“Well, not all of them, of course.” At Megamind’s gasp of horror, he laughed. “Dude, I’m not a machine. I’m a man with needs, just like you.”

“Well, obviously not just like me, because I wouldn’t even … consider doing … that. With them.”

“Buddy,” Wayne soothed, “you’re reading me all wrong here. It was just occasionally. Believe me, there were lots and lots of dry spells too.”

“So,” asked the new hero, scrubbing his hands over his face, “how did you handle it when you weren’t … giving in? How do you say no? How can you -- can I -- find some peace and quiet in my life, when all those mindless drones want nothing more than to rip me to shreds and feed on me?”

“Boundaries,” he answered simply. “You need to set firm boundaries and demand that they respect them,” he said, getting to his feet, “Do you want some coffee?”

Megamind sighed and leaned back in the chair. “That sounds divine. Thank you, yes.”

In the kitchen Wayne scooped the ground beans and smiled to himself as he set the water to boil. Megamind. In his living room. And not only that, but they were having an actual grown-up conversation. The first one that Wayne had had in months with anyone, let alone his former nemesis. He found the sugar bowl and filled the pitcher with cream, then rummaged under the counter for a tray. He even grabbed some cookies and put them on a plate. If he remembered correctly, Megamind had a fondness for sweets.

He returned to the living room, steaming mugs and goodies in hand, but he had obviously taken too long, for Megamind was asleep. The little villain turned hero was slumped against the soft arm of the chair. One leather clad hand tucked under his large, blue head, the other curled in his lap like a miniature cat.

It felt odd to stare, but everything about the entire evening had been odd. From the knock on the door, to the somewhat stilted, yet friendly conversation, it had been a day unlike any other. And now to have this enigmatic little man who was normally so overbearing, full of false bravado and machismo, allow himself to be so vulnerable, Wayne couldn’t help but take it all in.

He had aged. Probably more in the past six months of being a hero than he had in the last few years of his villainy. Bearing the weight of the city, he mused, and all of the responsibilities that accompanied it could wear a man down. He touched this silvering at his own temples as he examined Megamind’s face. It had yet to be lined (unlike Wayne’s own ever deepening crow’s feet) but it seemed somehow sharper. More angular. And the dark circles beneath his eyes told much more than any hand wringing or nervous tics ever could.

He would sink or he would swim. Most likely the latter, Wayne mused as he sat and poured cream into his cup. The man was many things, but a quitter he was not.

Megamind hadn’t so much as shifted by the time Wayne finished his coffee, so he took the throw from the back of the sofa and ever so carefully covered the sleeping form. He put both mugs in the sink and begrudgingly headed off to bed.

In the morning the blanket was folded over the couch and Megamind was gone.
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Five Times Megamind Slept With Metro Man