Digital Digital Get Down | By : sashaphillips Category: zMisplaced Stories [ADMIN use only] > Incredibles, The Views: 2780 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
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It was cramped, and humid, and they were fucking. Mirage had been working at Nomanisan for about two years now, and all of a sudden, it was as though something had shifted, like an earthquake or a natural disaster. And it was a total disaster, to put it frankly. They’d only had sex four times, and Syndrome was a yeller and Mirage was spindly, always saying “Ouch” when it didn’t even hurt, and they were still in their business clothes. Two minutes later, he was all ready blowing his load.
“That’s just great,” she said tersely, pulling up her skirt.
“I detect sarcasm,” he said.
“They weren’t lying when they said you were a boy genius,” she said, sarcastically again.“Nope, they sure weren’t,” he replied, “where are you going? You should cuddle with me.”
“I can’t stand cuddling,” she said,” I’m a woman, not a dog. And we’re in a supply closet.”
“You don’t know what fun is!” he replied.
“You’re right,” she said, and she left without another word.
“Well, you don’t see that every day,” Syndrome said aloud,” ‘cause in movies the woman always begs to stay overnight.”
Strangely enough, there were actually crickets.
-About a week later, Mirage was working on a spreadsheet in the data center when the alert noise for her email sounded: “Hello, Mi-ra-ge,” the robot voice said, in a painstakingly phonetic way,” you have received one new messages from PockeTProtractor1. Have nice days.”
Subject: Where oh where have you gooone!
Sender: PockeTProtractor1@evilmatch.com (“Syndrome”)Body:
Hi baby. Is that completely and revoltingly sexist by the way? “Baby.” Does it remind you of a lecherous old geezer? HEY BABY. Ya know? Because if it does, I’ll totally stop, unless that sort of thing turns you on, in which case we need to talk…
But I think we need to talk anyway. Everytime I’ve tried to contact you, you’ve been busy. Doing copious amounts of busy work that I myself assigned to you, but still. (Italics- for the win!) This is easier to say in the textual form (isn’t everything?) but I miss you. Did I possibly maybe do something wrong? I can’t help but remember that the last time I saw you, we had, as they say, “relations.”
Don’t make me doubt myself. It’s no good for a masculine ego.
-SPS: I like that white shirt with that black bra.
Despite her annoyance, Mirage had to smirk. She knew not to even look around for a camera anymore. He was always watching. Taking her time, she began to work again on the spreadsheet for a few more minutes and then opened up the email and hit reply.
Subject: Contents May Be No Good For a Masculine Ego, Use Caution
Sender: small_nt_anrxk@miss.com
Body:
Your use of “baby” neither excites nor offends me. In short, it bores me. If you want to be shocking, really go for it, sugar. I guess that is our problem in general.
Meaning (since I’m guessing I’ll need to spell it out for you) – I need something more exciting. I know it’s all new, but I’m disappointed by what I’ve received. I’ll be frank- each and every time we’ve “had relations”, as ‘they’ say, I leave the room feeling uninterested, sticky, and overtired. A few quick tips: cut down on watching porn (yes, I’ve seen your stash and it’s not pretty), work on your aim, and get a new technique. You’re good at inventing and your brain stimulates me so this shouldn’t be a problem. When you make love to me, or bang me, or however you want to put it, use. your. brain. It’s a nice brain. It’s why I haven’t given up on you all ready.
Ta,PS: Take that a step further.
-Subject: Fwd: Tact 101
Body:Jeeze-oh-peeze. You could have covered that in a blanket and deadened the blow, but I appreciate your frank nature. But you have to remember I’m not as experienced as you. (I don’t mean because you’re older than me, God forbid, let’s not go down that path) But you’re right- I’m sort of vanilla. As of now. Prepare for Syndrome8.9!!! Better than the second version of AOL, I give you my word.
The main point being- I want to interest you. But I also quite like my porn. What’s WRONG with it, anyway? How about I keep the porn whilst improving on all the other points? And you’ve all ready given me an idea for an invention.
PS: I want you to take all of it off. Was that the right answer?
-Subject: Fwd: You’re an Idiot
Body:
SYNDROME! I’d use bold if it weren’t so last year. Now, you can’t simply tease me with “an idea for an invention.” What is it, an Omnidroid themed tote bag? Don’t exhaust me with your tediousness, Syndrome. I have work to do.
PS: Maybe you should do something every once in a while.
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