Reunion | By : rvanv Category: 1 through F > Brokeback Mountain Views: 1694 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own "Brokeback Mountain." Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar and their families are the creation of Annie Proulx and remain her property. This story has no commercial purpose whatsoever, and I intend no infringement of her copyright. |
Ennis paces like a caged animal, and Alma thinks, he’s just so eager ta meet this fishin’ buddy a his! Can’t wait ta meet him, must be a real nice man. Funny Ennis ain’t never said nothin’ ‘bout him before. But good ol’ Ennis, lots a things he don’t talk about. Lots a things.
Kind a excitin’ havin’ a visitor from out a town an’ all, though. Really ought ta take him out for a tasty dinner, him drivin’ all the way up from Texas an’ all. “Ennis, how ‘bout we get a babysitter an’ take your friend out ta the Knife an’ Fork for a proper meal?”
“Oh, Jack ain’t the restaurant kind,” Ennis replies. Jesus, that’s all I need, Alma sittin’ there while me an’ Jack’s … while we’re tryin’ ta catch up on ol’ times. Shit, maybe we’re just goin’ ta have us a few beers, but I bet we ain’t goin’ ta be talkin’ sheep. Well, I don’t know … got families ta talk ‘bout an’ stuff … never know … but Alma, no way.
“We’ll probably just go out an’ get drunk.” Fuck, ain’t been right drunk in forever! “If he shows up.” Where is the son of a bitch? Jack, ya cocksucker, can’t wait forever. Probably was dumb ta take off a work, but shit, I was sure he was comin’ earlier in the day. ‘Course he didn’t say nothin’ ‘bout that on his card, did he? Guess it’s hard ta tell with all that drivin’ how long things is really goin’ ta take.
*
The afternoon drags on into early evening. Ennis slouches on the couch, eyes closed and lightly dozing behind a half dozen beer bottles. He’s half-dreaming of Jack, and he has a hard-on. The girls finish up supper in the kitchen, and Alma tries to busy herself there to hide her disappointment at not treating Ennis’ friend as a proper guest. He’s surely goin’ ta think we’re rude, ain’t he? she thinks. Or worse, he’s goin’ ta think we’re too poor ta show him a bit of a good time.
Well, maybe he won’t show up. Would serve Ennis right if he didn’t show up, wouldn’t it? Waste a day off a work. Oh, heavens, that’s so mean a me! Relax, Alma, relax. Ain’t no big deal, they just want ta talk ‘bout ol’ times, drink some beers, don’t want no woman around.
If he shows up, guess it’ll be pretty clear why he don’t go ta restaurants, won’t it? Do I hear someone pullin’ in? I think I do. Well, sure can’t wait ta meet the fella either way.
*
Ennis snaps right out of his slumber as soon as he hears Jack’s truck pull into the gravel parking lot. He pushes himself up off the couch, knocks a couple of empties over on the way to the window. The look on his face is one of great relief, anticipation ... and love, all over again, no two ways about it.
Jack! It’s him! Holy fuck, it’s him! Let me out a here … got ta get out there, touch that man … oh christ, I got ta touch him! He looks so fne … made somethin’ a himself, hasn’t he? Jack … you’re so goddamn beautiful, Ennis thinks as he bounds to the door. He wants to leap over the railing as he takes the steps down two at a time.
What on earth? Alma wonders from the kitchen. I ain’t never seen Ennis act so excited, like a kid at Christmas. Careful honey, don’t want ta fall down them stairs! she thinks with concern.
As Jack turns from the truck toward the stairway, he grins hugely. Goddamn, that’s Ennis … oh, Ennis! He ain’t changed a bit, has he? Wouldn’t expect Ennis ta change at all … fuckin’ old stick-in-the-mud … oh, Ennis, how could I ever a stopped lovin' you? Come on, let’s have a big hug, a big, big hug here! Ennis, man, how come I stayed away so long? Well, I’m here now, an’ that’s all that matters, ain’t it?
“Son of a bitch!” Jack exclaims heartily, happily, as the two men collide in a nearly bone-crushing, full-body hug.
“Son of a bitch!” Ennis replies in kind, his voice husky with desire. As their bodies press firmly together, Ennis’ nose at Jack’s neck instantly picks up Jack’s smoky sweetness and the magic of that summer on the mountain.
His face is right here, body right here, touchin’ me, touchin’ me all over. I got ta have him, got ta have him now! Ennis thinks. Jack, Jack … I love ya so much, still, after all these years I fuckin’ love ya! It hurts so bad, and it ain’t goin’ ta go away, is it, Jack? What the fuck we do ‘bout it? Jack, fuck man … so happy … I’m so happy ….
Ennis shares a rare endearment he uses only on his horses and little girls.”Little darlin’,” he half-whispers. In Jack’s case, he means “I love you.” They grab at each other blindly, clothing, hair, skin.
I’m gettin’ hard, Ennis thinks, fuck, my dick’s gettin’ hard! Don’t have no control over this! Got ta do somethin’, now! Got ta do it now! He glances around, pushes Jack toward a nearby wall. Ennis is overwhelmed by hope and lust, almost cries with joy—he thought he would never see his beloved Jack again—pins the other man against the clapboard so hard that Jack’s hat flies off, plants his mouth hard on those sensuous lips that had taught him so much four summers ago. Ennis’ cock is dripping already, and he would like to turn Jack around, pull his pants down, and fuck him. Fuck the hell out of him, like that first incredible night in the tent, all animal desire, all instinct.
At first Jack is shocked, thinks, whoa, Ennis, whoa! But he smells the other man, is swept up by his own memories of their time on Brokeback. He reciprocates immediately, his own cock firmly erect by the time their tongues meet. Shit, he thinks, holy shit, this is goin’ a whole lot faster ‘n I expected! Ain’t barely laid eyes on the fucker an’ we’re just ‘bout ruttin’ out here in the open. Like we’re still up on that mountain, ain’t nobody else around. Goddamn! What’s he want? What’s he want ta do? Fuck me, Ennis, let me fuck you, suck you, what do ya want? Let’s just do it now, ta hell with anyone else!
Jack is ready, so ready, feels his own penis oozing precum.
His fingers grasp at Ennis’ best shirt, pop some buttons open, bunch up the fabric, claw at the other man’s undershirt and chest. Ennis, he thinks, oh fuck, Ennis, been thinkin’ ‘bout ya for how long now. Christ, Ennis, I’ve missed ya so much, so goddamn much! Got ta get ya back in my life now, right now!
Concerned about Ennis tripping down the stairs, Alma looks out the door, sees her husband’s shoulders straining, sees his hands holding Jack’s face, knows they are kissing deeply. She sees this but doesn’t know what she is seeing. Why … why … why is Ennis kissing his friend like that? His friend is a man, ain’t he? I don’t understand ….
*
Jack and Ennis want to absorb each other, they are so much in love still, and so desperate for one another after the long separation.
Ennis reluctantly pulls himself from Jack. Got ta … got ta let Alma know … get away … introduce Jack, then get away.
He drags Jack toward the stairs. Ennis pulls his shirttails, trying to tuck his shirt in as he runs back up the stairs.
Damn, those jeans look tight, Jack thinks, and don’t he look good in ‘em! Can’t wait ta get the fuckin’ things off him! Jack knows every detail of Ennis’ ass, every detail of his cock, can’t wait to put his knowledge to use again. His erection stiffens.
Ennis’ chest is heaving after the run up the stairs. Jack breathes heavily right behind him. Their hands touch, and the electricity is palpable. Ennis thinks, I got ta get Jack out a here, got ta get him away from all this, away from Alma and the girls … away from my … away from all these mistakes. Four fuckin’ years a mistakes! It’s goin’ ta be more ‘n a few drinks, ain’t it? Goddamn me for lovin’ this man, wantin’ ta be with Jack instead a my family, but fuck … I’m all hard an’ shakin’ … got ta get him alone.
Shit, Ennis, Jack thinks. Ya ain’t done very well, buddy, have ya? Looks like I got ta save ya from yourself, don’t it? Maybe your wife ain’t the worst, but what a piss-poor place ta call home! An’ you’re raisin’ kids here? Jesus, Ennis! Let’s get out a here!
Ennis thinks his shirt still has all its buttons, but he doesn’t know, and he doesn’t care.
That shirt is awful wrinkled, ain’t it? Alma thinks. She must focus on details, on meaningless details, until she can sit down and think about her husband kissing this friend he hasn’t seen in years. I ironed that shirt so good, ain’t no way ta go out, in a shirt looks like that! Specially since his friend looks pretty decent here, not bad lookin’ at all, dressed nice. Looks like he’d go ta a restaurant … but Ennis knows him and I don’t.
Ennis introduces Jack to his wife, yet Jack doesn’t see her, not really. Her own husband might just as well be staring at a wall. At this moment, Alma Del Mar does not exist. Got ta get Jack out a here, Ennis thinks.
Jack trembles with anticipation. Let’s get the fuck out a here, your wife is makin’ me real nervous, he thinks. But he hears a wail from the living room, a welcome diversion from this awkward, breathless introduction. “You got a kid?” Jack asks.
“Yep, two little girls. I adore ‘em,” Ennis replies. Alma looks stone-faced, feels very left out of this scenario, the two men, the two girls, no room for her?
Jack remembers, oh yeah, I got a baby, too, don’t I? He’s keepin’ us up nights, ain’t he? Don’t want ta say that, though. Little motherfucker. “I got a boy,” Jack says. Keep talkin’, goddamn it, I am so fuckin’ nervous! “Eight months old. Smiles a lot,” he adds with his own big smile, perhaps the first time in his life that Jack has ever forced a smile.
Ennis grabs his hat in a rush to the door. Can’t look at Alma, he thinks. Just got ta forget about all this right now. Just me an’ Jack, that’s all it’s goin’ ta be so long as he’s here. How much time we got after all?
He tells Alma, “Me an’ Jack is goin’ out an’ get us a drink. Might not get back tonight once we get ta drinkin’ an’ talkin’.”Alma stares forlornly at these two men who look like two bad boys who have just raided the cookie jar. She has no idea what she has just seen. Physically, yes. Her husband kissing a long-lost fishing buddy. Really kissing him, and men in this part of the world don’t kiss each other. But she has no reference at all to help her figure out what this means.
She feels lost and alone. She relies on Ennis, love of her life, protective husband and father, to take care of things that go wrong. He stands very little that he doesn’t like, manages to fix most everything. He’s that kind of man, always living up to his responsibilities.
What Alma has just seen shocks her to the point of tears, but she is not sure why. That kiss, yes, that is terribly unusual, but what is behind it? Is it wrong? She has no reason to believe that the Ennis who returns after a night of drinking will be a different man. She has no reason at all to believe that two men would ever do the kinds of things Ennis and Jack spent the summer doing on Brokeback Mountain. She has no reason to believe that two men can love one another … the way she loves Ennis.
Jack convinces himself that Alma notices his hard-on. Just like those girls in eighth grade who would giggle at one of his involuntary erections in his too-tight trousers. But he knows Ennis has a raging boner, too. He felt it, and he knows it isn’t going to go away as long as he is in Ennis’ sight. He can’t wait to get out of there.
Ennis wants Jack so badly now. He feels stirrings like those of four long years ago, when he and Jack had tended the sheep together, had shared the incredible vistas, had sat around the campfire on Brokeback Mountain eating beans, drinking whiskey, sharing stories. When they had still been just friends ... and he had desperately wanted more, but he didn’t know what.
*
Ennis’ awareness of his physical relationship to other people had always been acute and fearful, still is. He wouldn’t have known how to approach Jack even if he had known what he himself wanted. Only when Jack invaded his territory in that tent, forced him into action, did he fuck the other man. That was the first time he had ever touched Jack, period, but he made sure Jack didn’t touch him until the next night.
Even then, Ennis all but recoiled when he saw Jack’s face approaching his own for their first kiss. He was so in love with his beautiful, charismatic friend, yet repulsed by that very attraction. Touching, kissing, gentleness all had become foreign to Ennis ever since his mother’s death when he was a child. No one could get close to him, and he handled problems with his fists. Wherever he went, he filled an awkward space that he wasn’t sure belonged to him. He was always on the defensive. He feared his newfound love for the other man. So intense, this feeling he didn’t understand and was unable to control.
That summer Ennis overcame fear after fear after fear for the man he loved. He feared the love itself at first, never could even give it a name, but he thrived on his growing feelings for Jack.
His physical victories astonished him—he learned to suck Jack’s dick till he came in his mouth, found he enjoyed it even. Most amazingly, he let Jack penetrate him, the other man’s cock repeatedly stroking a spot of pleasure in Ennis’ ass that he never knew was there. Thanks to Jack, Ennis’ orgasms became so much more powerful than they had ever been under his own ministrations. This man who recoiled from contact with others came to trust Jack with his entire body. With his mind. With his heart.
Ennis discovered that when he submitted to the other man, he did not lose his manhood as he had feared. On the contrary, when Jack was fucking him, when Ennis was making himself so vulnerable, when he took Jack’s semen to his very core, he felt more complete than ever. The emptiness he had always assumed to be his lot in life disappeared.
But so did Jack.
*
The love Ennis experienced with Jack that summer was so very different from his relationship to Alma. In contrast to the two men’s unruly and boundless passion, his engagement to Alma had resulted more from a formal sequence of assumptions and events than anything else. Ennis and Alma’s only real thing in common prior to their marriage was that they assumed they would lose their virginity to one another.
The couple’s physical passion has been real enough, but while Alma feels she experiences the full range of love that Ennis has to offer, distant though that might seem at times, Ennis has felt Jack’s absence from the very beginning.
*
Ennis’ frequent dreams about this man whom he thought he would never see again—many of them warm and erotic—are one thing, but his waking fantasies belong to Jack, too. His memories always focus on Jack. As the four years have painfully slipped by, Ennis has found it more difficult to capture vivid images of Jack, what he actually had seen, smelled, tasted, touched up there on Brokeback Mountain. As of late, Ennis has had only impressions to go on. Regardlesss, he has built up a reserve of desire with just the thought of Jack on all fours waiting to be fucked, the thought of Jack, legs in the air, waiting to receive Ennis’ cock, the thought of Jack’s warm, wet mouth sucking and licking his penis, the thought of rubbing himself on Jack to climax into the other man’s pubic hair or on to his chest.
How many times has Jack inspired Ennis as he reached for his dick these past four years? Eager to escape the old shack they called home, now eager to escape the tiny apartment that seems too small for the family, Alma often takes the girls to visit her family for a long weekend. How many weekends in four years? Even once a month multiplied by three or four days. Yep, well over a hundred sessions of stroking himself. Ennis rounds it all off: he’s wrung it out a hundred times thinking about Jack.
It is a moment of brutal honesty for Ennis. Fuck, I been thinkin’ about him all this time after just one summer a herdin’ sheep an’ foolin’ around. Goddamn, might as well just tell him I love him or somethin’. That’s what they call all this, ain’t it? Like Alma does with me … acts like she’s thinkin’ about me all the time and shit. Bless her little heart, she probably does, poor thing. Bein’ real concerned about me. Love, yeah, but this is … this is … fuck, Jack, what is it? You’re a man! How come I kissed you like that, dick got hard soon as I seen your face? What the hell you done ta me, makin’ me remember for four years, makin’ me think ‘bout ya when I’m with my wife and I fuckin’ didn’t even know if ya was alive?
*
Jack’s truck screeches out of the parking lot on to the road.
Some sense of propriety has returned, and Ennis decides they will head for the Siesta Motel, out of town a ways, so they won’t be seen by townsfolk. They pick up a bottle of whiskey before heading out there.
From this point, the two men will commit to memory every sight, sound, touch, smell, taste.
No sooner do they pull away from Ennis’ apartment than he rips open Jack’s shirt, tongues the closest nipple, hungering for the musky, salty tang of his skin. He works his fingers through the fine layer of dark chest hair. Jack playfully walks his own fingers up Ennis’ leg from knee to thigh. A little further and through denim he finds his holy grail, Ennis’ erect penis. Ennis lifts his butt enough to pull his pants down. His erection pops out of his jeans, his ass sweating against the vinyl seat. Jack is overwhelmed by the familiar sight of Ennis’ cock curving up from the patch of tawny pubic hair. He wants to bury his face in Ennis’ groin right then and there, take his wet tongue to those big, smooth balls, kiss the glistening drops right off the head of the other man’s penis, gorge himself on the cum he hasn’t tasted in four years.
They continue to pull furiously at each other’s clothing, trade hard, hot kisses, Jack barely keeping control of the vehicle. Everything ends up wet, drenched in sweat, precum, saliva, maybe even tears? They are half undressed by the time they get to the motel. Ennis reluctantly buttons up his jeans, tucks the boner back in that Jack has been stroking when he hasn’t had his hand on the truck’s gear shift. Ennis still sports a bulge and his shirt is unbuttoned, but what the hell. This is a motel that has hourly rates, after all.
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