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In Flight Meals Not Included	By : PrimitiveScrewhead Category: M through R > Predator Views: 2392 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Predator movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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In Flight Meals Not Included�

Hi there.� I�m new at the Predator Fiction writing
genre, I usually stick with Hellboy or Riddick, but I thought I�d try my hand
at this just to see how it goes.� Don�t
know how it�ll turn out, I�m just going with those visions I have in my
head.� Let me know what you think, but
please be civil about it.� J� I can take criticism but not outright
assholeyness.�� I�m writing this more for
me to get it out of my system� hehehe.
Those of you who�ve
read my other fics at ff.net know what my style�s like, so to the new ones,
beware, my fics aren�t pretty.� They�re
fun, violent, bloody, and outright goofy at times.� You�ll get used to my moodswings. Hehe.
Ps: I make my own
rules when it comes to Preds. I have my own ideas and some of them may conflict
with popular viewpoints, just a warning. Oh, and I'm new at AFF, obviously, so it'll take me a few to get used to the coding, sorry if it's a little screwy.�

Disclaimer:� I don�t own shit besides my OC�s.� Steal my OC�s and I�ll bannock-slap you.� :D
Oh, and I don�t own
the song titles I�m using for Chapter titles, they�re all owned by KMFDM.� Hopefully I won�t get curb-stomped by the
Kapt�n. Alright, on with the damned show.

Chapter One:� The
Unrestrained Use Of Excessive Force

I hate this fucking
neighbourhood, I thought, brushing past yet another crack-head that smelled
like burned pea soup.� He barely glanced
at me as I knocked his shoulder with mine, too intent on the very obvious
dealer in front of him, the clean-cut and washed man with the magic
powder.� I wanted to turn and beat the
shit out of both of them, a passing craving no better than the shit soon to be
in the dirty man�s veins.� Violence
is no way to solve things, and I know it, so I ignore it instead.�

Honestly that�s not much better.

Further down the street I relax a little. The human chaos was
behind me and I now turned to the flow of music inside the club.�� Sure, there�s crack-heads inside the club
too, but at least they�re far outnumbered by drunken dancers.

That�s not much better either.� One habit for another.

Thankfully I don�t have a part in either.� Well, the occasional drink but nothing
that�ll have me waking in an alley in the morning, or pregnant. Heh.

Inside the sweltering club I sought my drinking buddies and
found them hanging around, surprise, the bar. They see me and Tru squealed and
about knocks some poor guy off his feet to fly to me and squeeze me so hard I
swear my eyes would have popped out.� For
someone who�s a whole 5 feet tall she�s got a lot of strength. I tease her
about leaving bruises but she knows better, just smacking me and dragging my
lazy ass to the bar to join the rest of the group. The group lifts their
respective drinks and yell �SAM!� as I sidle up to the bar.

Five others showed up tonight to celebrate my birthday,
which is a lot considering I know maybe ten people in this city well enough to
trust my drunken ass with.� Besides Tru
and myself, there�s also Asher, my little bro,�
�Mad�, or Madison, who�s my bosses wife, my boss Terry,� and my old high school buddies Gabriel, Alley
(so named after a marathon bonking of some girl in an alley after graduation),
and Damian, who we nicknamed Evil.� Tru
was really named Truth, we just shortened it.�
Her parents were hardcore hippies and we were raised together, known
each other for 23 of our mutual 27 years.

After a beer and some convo about work and shit, we moved
off to find a table to set all our stuff down.�
Mad tried to get me onto the dance floor but there was no goddamned
way.� I readily admit that I have
absolutely NO rhythm, and although I knew damned well I�d embarrass myself in
some other way tonight, it wouldn�t be by dancing like a rubber chicken on the
floor in front of a three hundred other people. �Who knows which one of these wankers has a
camera hidden in their jackets to blackmail me with later.

The rest of the evening went like this:� Shots, watching my friends dance, getting hit
on by weird drunken men,� more shots,
some beer,� a surprise singing of �Happy
Birthday� by the staff and me turning even redder than normal, more shots�

That was until I saw this group of huge fucking guys sidling
up next to Tru on the floor.� Being
over-protective of my friends I had to stop myself from going out there and
kicking some ass.

She can handle herself,� �I
thought, nearly choking on my beer when she elbowed one in the gut and shoved
her way through the other two to come back to our table.

�What�d they say?�� I
asked, poking her in the side of the head with a pointed nail.

�Oh, the usual.�� She
replied, usually meaning something very nasty involving her hair as a grip as
they rode her from behind.� She�s gotten
that one, oh, lets count�. Five times this month.� You�d think that the guys could come up with
something a little more original. Tru�s hair stood out in a crowd, straight and
red, grown down past her ass.� Men loved
it, and she wouldn�t have minded the attention if it had come from someone
whose vocab went past �hey baby lets fuck�.

�Where�d the guys go?��
They�d disappeared about ten minutes ago and I hadn�t seen them
since.� I assumed they went for a beer
but Christ it didn�t take that long, even if the bartender was a doofus.

Mad looked around the club but apparently couldn�t see them
either. �I hope those shitheads didn�t ditch us.� Terry�s gonna get a swift kick in the teeth
if I find him hanging on some skanky brunette.�

�Hey!�� I�m not
skanky.

�I didn�t mean YOU, dumbass.�

�Lucky you�re the boss�s wife, I�d smack you.�� I grinned at Mad.

�You wish, bitch.��
She grinned back, giving me the finger.

Tru just watched us shaking her head. �Too much estrogen
here, should we try to find the boys?�

�Fuck em, lets drink some more.�

And so we did.

*~*

Half an hour later and the boys were still MIA, and we were
pissed.� I�m not girly, and we don�t sit
around talking about boys and our nail polish, so they had no reason to ditch
like that.� Mad was actually getting
worried about Terry, and not because of the theoretical �Skanky Brunette�.�

�Oh, fucking hell.��
Tru mumbled into her scotch.

�What?�

�Apparently an elbow to the belly is foreplay�� She trailed
off as three guys sauntered up to our table.�
I recognized the front of one of them, the same guy that she had elbowed
on the dance floor, as he pushed his way onto our seats and put one giant arm
around Tru.

�So, three of you, three of us, a match made by fate��

�Oh piss off.� Tru spat, thrusting the man�s arm off her
shoulder and scootching over closer to us.�
The other two guys sat opposite of their friend, right next to me. Lucky
Mad was stuck in the middle. No way out unless she crawled under the table, but
no assholes next to her.�

I automatically nicknamed the guy next to Tru �Assface�
because of the prominent cleft in his chin.�
Huge, maybe 250 pounds and unshaven, he looked like a fat version of
Bruce Campbell and had a voice of a Hollywood
accountant. His friends were both decently large too and looked like Navy SEAL
rejects. And the dude next to me, who I named Jarhead, smelled terrible.� No bigger turnoff than a dude who smells like
cheese. The dude on the end reminded me of a Vulture,
with very pointed features and a beer clutched in one long hand.

I watched as Assface tried to put his arm around Tru again
only to have it shoved off instantly, much to his annoyance.� �Little girl, I�m just trying to be friends,
quit being so frigid.�

If Tru could have turned green and yelled �HULK SMASH� right
then, she would have.� As it was she just
turned dark red and her eyes narrowed to slits. From years of experience I knew
that meant �Move or Die�.

�First off, I may be little but I can still whoop your dumb
ass up and down this club. Secondly, I�m not frigid; I just prefer my own
species.� Now back the fuck off our table
or you�ll be pickin� your teeth off the floor.�

Ooooooooh, burn!

Mad started laughing at the guys� reaction to Tru�s threats,
and I couldn�t help but join in. Tru on the other hand was having a stare-down
with Assface and hadn�t changed her Kill or Be Killed expression.� His buddies next to me just sat there
watching.

Assface looked away first.��
No surprise there, Tru may be tiny but she was one hell of a force to be
reckoned with.� Hell, when we were
little, she used to kick my ass all the time. Now that she�s bigger and closing
in on 30, I don�t� doubt that she�d mop the floor with me if she put her mind
to it, and I wasn�t exactly puny.

Tensions were broken temporarily by Mad�s Whip It cell phone
ring.� This time even Tru busted out
laughing, turning her back to Assface and addressing Mad.� �Girl, that ring is fucking terrible.�
�Nothing wrong with Devo.��
Mad defended herself, digging through her purse for the phone.

�Uhh, yeah. There is.��
I laughed, swatting at the big sweaty hand that was now slowly making
its way up my thigh.� �Touch me again� I
double-dare you.�

�I like your hair.�

�Oh, wow, you spend a few hours coming up with that
gem?�� I turned my back to him and listened
to Mad�s phone conversation.

�WHAT? When did� is he okay?�
Yeah, we�re still here, unfortunately� yeah, these three assholes won�t
take the hint�.I have the keys� I�ll tell her� Okay, Bye.�� Mad hung the phone up and looked over at
me.� �Salem,
Asher�s been hurt.�

�WHAT?!?�� I screeched,
elbowing the asshole behind me in the chest for running his fingers up my bare
back.� �FUCK OFF!� Jeez!�

�Calm down, he�s okay.�
They went out for a smoke and a car sideswiped him. The driver took the
whole lot of em to the hospital.�

Tru piped up, �Nice of them to let us know an hour
afterwards��

�They were busy!� They
said Asher�s getting his leg casted and he bruised some ribs, but other than
that he�s fine.� Terry said they all
panicked and just sort of forgot about us.�

�That�s reasonable.�

�Let�s go, I have the keys to the other car, it�s not too
far away.�� Mad jingled her car keys and
looked back and forth between me and Tru.

We shifted to move but the strange guys wouldn�t budge.

�Move.�� I mumbled to
Jarhead.

�Make me.�� He
challenged back, again running a hand up my thigh.

�Oh shit�� Mad ducked.

Two minutes later and a set of bruised knuckles later, me
and the girls strutted out of the club to see my brother.

Thanks guys.�
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In Flight Meals Not Included