• 1-Crossover From Hell Part I
• 2-Finding More...

Disclaimer: George owns most of what we’re messing
with, Tolkien owns a bit as well, and the rest of the copyrighted material will
belong to J.K Rowling, Chris Carter and Twentieth Century Fox, and Marvel
Comics (though not necessarily in that order). For the hell of it we’ll mention
Bruckheimer, and Mickey. Orlando Bloom is his own person. The events in this
story are complete fiction. I repeat: none of what is mentioned in this story
happened. It’s fiction. In short: Roses are Red, Violets are blue, and the
recognizable is not ours, so please don’t sue. Any similarity between this
story and others is purely coincidental.

Crossover From Hell

Part I

Jedi Knight Ida
Talath was in a foul mood, not that it showed on her outer countenance. To
those who didn’t know her, she was the picture of perfect calm. Her features
smooth and serene, her expression schooled. Her light footsteps and gentle gait
gave no indication of the raging storm of emotions that turned waves inside
her. Thank the Maker she had been one of the strongest students in her early
mental shielding class. She could just imagine thaoshaos that would erupt among
the force sensitive armies that dwelt within the temple if they could hear her
inner turmoil. She calmly made her way down the crowded corridors of the junior
teaching facility, eager to reach her private chambers and her refreshing
unit.

She could practically feel the sonic wavelsinlsing over her
flesh and removing the three weeks worth of grime she had accumulated on her
last mission to Delconto*. Whoever had thought a waste transport vessel
sufficient to carry her home was in dire need of a thorough lashing. Ten days
on a vessel that reeked strongly of foot rot and stale alcohol were quite
enough to leave her in a state of displeasure. The only saving grace was that
she’d had plenty of time alone to write and file her mission reports. She only
hoped she’d be allowed the opportunity to bathe and eat something that wasn’t
pre-packaged and freeze-dried before her regulatory after-mission council
meeting. She hoped.

Hope, it seemed, wasn’t enough. Particularly when Master
Yoda was involved. She stifled a groan before it passed her lips and steadied
her mask of patient indifference as the diminutive Jedi Master appeared before
her on his patented floating chair. Effectively blocking her path to her
chambers, she noticed with disdain. She bowed respectfully, addressing the Head
of her Order. “Master Yoda, good day to you.”

She had to fight the wince that threatened to appear over
her features at the merciless twinkle that appeared in the ancient creatures
eyes.

“Good day it is, yes. Back you are, I see. Read your mission
reports I did.” Ida bit her lip at her elder’s stunted speech. She adored Yoda,
as many did, but there where days when all she really wanted to do was tip his
chair over and whack him over the head with that infernal walking stick he
always carried with him. She’s have done it too, if certain death weren’t
involved, of course. There was a reason Yoda was the Head of the Jedi Order,
and though many underestimated the tiny elf-like creature, she was not among
them. She settled for a weak smile in place of the stick thrashing. Yoda nodded
sagely. “Suggest you clean up, I do. Uncomfortable, you must be. Time there is,
for further discussion.” His wide smile threatened to overcome the small frame
of his face. “Annoyed you enough, I have,” he wrinkled his nose. “Stink, you
do.” He added, though not without humor. The conversation was brief, and for
that she was grateful. She shook her head, and nodded politely before resuming
her course.

She all but ran restrest of the way to her chambers, eager
as ever to cleanse herself. How embarrassing to be caught my Master Yoda in
this state! Stepping into her bathing room, she allowed the girl within to come
out, if only for a few minutes, as she all but scraped a layer of skin off in
her attempt to become clean. The sonic pulses beat the tension out of her
muscles, as she lazily stood in the freshing unit a few minutes longer than
necessary. She had dmitdmit she missed the water showers of home. Back home, on
the Oceanus planet of Chad III, there was plenty of water to go around. Here,
in the urban center of the Galaxy, water was a commodity available only to the
elite, and alas, she was certainly not among them. A servant of the Galactic
Republic, Ida had been a member of the Order of Jai* for over fifteen years.
She couldn’t remember exactly how old she’d been when the Jedi had discovered
her among her tribe mates on her home planet, and she didn’t want to remember.

She risked a glance in the mirror, surveying the damage
three weeks in the slim pits and desert dunes of Delconto had done to her hair.
She’d been both blessed and cursed with hair was white as the fallen snows on
Hoth*. Blessed, for its unique beauty that was highly sought after by the
Courtiers of many worlds. Cursed, for its lack of pigment only served to
augment dirt and debris. Luckily, there was nothing a Coruscant sonic pulse
couldn’t remove, and her jaggedly cropped hair had survived yet another
mission. She’d hate to have to cut it again, having spent the better part of
the last three years trying to grow it out of that wretched Padawan* haircut
they’d forced upon her as a girl. She grabbed a clean robe from its hanging place
on the doorframe and stepped out into her modest rooms, her bare feet sinking
into the luxurious tapath* carpet her mother had sent from home. She ought to
have been startled out of her wits by the sight of the hard lean body lounging
on her standard-issue sofa, and she might have been, had she not been expecting
it to be there. “You clean up well,” she drawled, moving into her small
kitchenette to see if there were any edibles left in the keeper.

“Well, I see you’re feeling better,” came the weary reply,
cool blue eyes following her movement into the kitchen with detached interest.

“Yes, much. Unlike you, the rest of us require a bit of help
to keep the grime off.” Ida slammed the keeper door shut in frustration when
she realized it was empty. “I have no food,” she pouted. Her visitor laughed, a
melodious sound that echoed off the bare walls of her vacant apartment.
Standing, he moved over to her and pulled her into a familiar embrace.

“Don’t whine now, it’s not very becoming.” He admonished.
The glare he received in return ought to have melted him into a puddle on the
floor, Ida reflected that he’d better watch it: one of these days he’d acquaint
himself with some new species that would be capable of just that.

“Says the one who doesn’t need to eat!” She hissed in reply.
“Honestly Legolas, not everyone is born an immortal elf of grand and noble
heritage. I am mortal. I require sustenance. As my loyal partner in crime, I
feel it is your duty to escort me to the dining hall so that I may supply my body
with nourishment in the form of food supplements that don’t taste like an
incurable skin disease. Now, be a good elf, offer me your arm, and we’ll be off
before the Council calls us for our fourteen hour long inquisition.”

&;

The elf giggled. “Incurable skin disease?” He paused,
watching her closely. “I don’t suppose you’re going to put some suitable attire
on before we head off on this grand adventure? It is of course your choice, I’m
sure Obi-Wan wouldn’t mind seeing you in naught but your bath robe…”

If it were possible, she would have flushed an intense red
at his teasing. As it was, her skin only ever showed one color, and for once,
she was grateful. Quickly, she attended to her current state of undress, before
dragging her elven shadow out into the corridor and toward the dining hall.

Merciful Maker it was time to eat.

~*~*~*~

She sat on the edge of sleep, leaning over into the abyss,
begging for the quite uncertainty of the unknown. How she longed to rest her
weary body and tirend. nd. To find solace in the arms of slumbers embrace. Her
conscious was leaving, and she could feel herself merging with the slow, calm
energy of the force…her essence bleeding into the continuum of the force,
leaving behind her corporeal form.

Nygida sat on the ledge overlooking the herb garden on
the lower level of the house. Mother would certainly have a fit if she were to
see her leaning so far over the side to look at the plants below. Just last
week she had received a lashing for leaning over the railing. It hadn’t been
her fault; she’d simply overestimated the distance and slipped. Her older
sister had had to pull her back up, creating quite a racket in the process.
Zadin, her elder sister, hated her. Her entire family had been so proud when
Zadin had been born, bearing the markings of a seer. Zadin used this as a means
to constantly torment the younger girl, rubbing her position of prestige into
her siblings face whenever the opportunity presented itself. Last week had been
one such occasion. She’d gone on about how she’d seen a vision of Nygida
falling into the garden, crushing all the plants and permanently damaging the
hydrosphere that supported the family’s herb supply. Zadin had come running to
the rescue, desperate to prevent the accident from happening. Of course, the
elder seer was believed, and Nygida had found herself severely punished for her
behavior. That wasn’t to stop her from leaning over the railing again, deeply inhainhaling the smells of fresh herbs and vegetables, relishing the fresh spicy
smell of the air.

Nygida loved to look at the garden. She liked watching
the plants grow out of the water. She wondered what the leaves would feel like.
Would they be leathery like the seaweeds that she always had to pull out from
the windows? Of course, she’d never been allowed to touch the precious garden.
Her mother would have cut her hands off if she ever dared such a thing. She had
always wondered how the plants grew in that small space, and she had never
understood the need for the strange orbs of light that floated over the garden,
lighting the small room with a surreal glow. Those same lights floated all over
Tzania, the Ninaen city were she lived. Her father said they were necessary,d thd that things would get awfully dark without them. Nygida didn’t care for the
dark. She glanced above her fearfully at the open ocean lying just beyond the
dome of her parent’s house. That vast darkness was the only world she knew.
She’d heard fairy stories of a world above the water, but she dared not believe
them. To believe in such a thing inspired hope, and that was something far too
precious for her to think on. Despite having been born to the life of a water
weaver, Nygida was deathly afraid of being out alone in the dark water. Master
Tabij, her weaving instructor, had sent home an angry letter to her parents
yesterday, telling of her lack of respect for the ancient traditions of her
clan. She had been born to the life of a water weaver. In the clan hierarchy,
there was no breaking of the rules. The markings on her arms and back were
indicators that had set out her destiny for her from the moment of her birth.
In ten thousaenerenerations, no one had broken the code; no one had stepped
from his or her intended path.

Until Now.

 
>

It was always the same
dream. A nightmare of darkness, death, and destruction. Of being consumed by
something unseen, something that hid itself in the murky shadows far away from
the light. It was fragile, like the wings of a dragonfly, easily broken. It was
so easy to become lost in the tangle of that incredible maze. She always woke
up, a silent scream dying on her lips even as the breath returned to her
trembling body. A thin sheen of cold sweat covered her, drenching the sheets in
a sticky residue.

There was no rest after
waking. Only the loud thumping of her heart as it hammered in her chest, and
the summoning of hot tea in an effort to sooth her tattered nerves. Deep
breathes, calming exercises, hot tea, and happy thoughts.

But no rest.

~*~*~*~

Ida stood at Legolas’ side
as he delivered their final findings to the council. After a short respite in
the dining hall, and a few hours of restless sleep, they’d found themselves
being called to deliver their report, and had been standing in the middle of
the council chambers for the better part of the night. She risked a glance out
the window behind Master Windu’s back, and couldn’t help but notice that the
sun was starting to show its face on the horizon.

Such was the life of a
Jedi: dangerous Mission, brief rest period of several hours, delivering of
reports, and then, if one were lucky, a few days to recover before being sent
out to risk one’s life again for a government that didn’t show an ounce of
respect for the one doing the life risking. She sighed. She knew immediately
from the strange twinkling in Master Yoda’s eyes that there would be no rest
period this time. She knew better than to be upset or surprised. If they cared
at all, they’d have a decent transport lined up for wherever the hell it was
they were sending her, and she’d be able to rest on the journey there.

She nodded politely when
Legolas finally finished his speal, begging that there be no more questions
concerning their routine mission to Delconto. How many times did they have to
hear that there was a warlord buying into the slave trade just beyond
Delconto’s largest moon? The Jedi Order had records on this warlord dating back
to her first year as an apprentice. Of course, there was the usual bureaucracy.
Nothing could be done without adequate evidence, of which there was none. The
right paperwork had to be in order, and she knew from experience that paperwork
usually ended up in the courts for as little as a year before the terms were
settled. In the meantime, Warlord Xion would be able to operate his little
slave ring, selling drugs on the side to his hearts content.

She felt a tug on her left
sleeve, and realized that the council was rapping up. She hoped she hadn’t
appeared too adrift. She waited as the Council members filed out before heading
towards the door herself.

“Knight Talath? Might we
have a word with you?” Windu asked in his soft voice, as if she would ever deny
*that* request. She turned back to face the council member. Legolas glanced
questioningly at the Jedi Master to see if he too, where to be included in this
discussion. Windu smiled. “Of course, Knight Sindarin*, would you remain as
well?”

The two resumed their
position in the center of the chamber, side by side. They were much of a
height, though Ida stood a few inches less than her elven counterpart. It was strange,
how similar they looked, both fair of hair and face, with delicate features,
and gentle grace. They also both similarly shaped ears, though Ida’s were
htlyhtly longer, and more finely pointed. For two Knights of different race,
there were no two more perfectly passable as alien siblings in the order. Any
two humans of similar colouring could stand side by side and claim equal
parentage, but for two humanoids to be capable of the same was a strange thing
indeed. Yoda was the first to speak. “New mission, we have for you.” he paused
for dramatic effect, allowing the knowledge of yet another trip to sink in.
“Sending you to the Terran system, we are. Investigate disturbance there, you
will.”

“What kind of disturbance,
Master Yoda?” Legolas asked.

Windu straightened up in
his seat, “We have detected a disturbance in the force. This is not a usual
disturbance mind. Yoda has been having
visions, and the council has been able to detect the use of force related energy
in the Terran system.”

&nb![en![endif]>

Ida spoke up. “How is that
unusual? The force encompasses the entire galaxy does it not? What’s so special
about an energy flux in this system?”

“Mostly unknown, this
system is. Regardedefulefully, it has always been.” That cryptic answer was
hardly enough to satisfy the two younger Knights. Windu felt a more adequate
explanation in order.

“The Terran system is home
to nine planets orbiting a single yellow star. Of these nine planets and their
many moons, only one is home to sentient life. Our scanners have picked up trace
life elements on several of the other planets, but it’s nothing more than minor
bacteria at the moment. What is so special about Terra is that is it a
virtually reclusive system. It’s so far beyond the outer rim that we’d never
have noticed it at all if not for one of our probes picking up radio waves
about fifty years ago. Since then, The Republic has sent in various teams to
check the system, and discover what kinds of people are living on that lone
planet out in the middle of nowhere. What we discovered was a colony of humans
living in a highly technolorevereverse age. They have some technological
capacity, but nothing in the same league as the majority of Republic states.
Therefore, the system was sanctioned as conservation territory, and no contact
is permitted with the locals.”

“But that hasn’t stopped
contact from being made, I gather?” Ida drawled. Legolas shook his head beside
her, silently chastising her for her blatant disregard for respect. She rolled
her eyes at him.

Windu smiled. “No, I’m
afraid it hasn’t.” He seemed to be evaluating his next words carefully before
he continued. “There’s someone I’d like you to . He. He can better explain what
you’re going to come into contact with on this planet. All I can tell you is
that if there are force users on this planet, they have to found and contained.
You now as much as anyone the dangerous of untrained talent, Knight Talath.”
Ida winced, flashes of unwanted memory stirring in the dark recesses of her
mind.

There was no time to escape. No time to react. She could
hear their screams, their cries of fear as the darkness enveloped them in his
harsh fist.

She shook her head to
clear the image, only to find Yoda looking at her quizzically. She nodded
delicately, the only motion needed to assure him of her well-being. “Let’s go
meet your informant then,” she replied wearily. “The sooner we can get this
started, the sooner we can finish it.”

~*~*~*~

Jedi Master Quiinj was on a routine mission to the
minefields of the Chadrin system when he received a transmission from the
Council to look into a dispute that had broken out between two tribes of Ninaen
on Chad III. The Ninaen were a peculiar race, one that often kept to
themselves, and had only sought the aid of the Jedi Order once before: that one
occasion being the outbreak of a civil war on Chad III over four thousand years
prior. They were a passive people, and atenstensely private one. Quiinj
couldn’t ever recall having studied them in his years at the academy, and upon
further research, found that there was no information regarding their customs
and traditions to be found in the database. In fact, there was no information
on them to be found at all. They were almnonenone existent in the Republic
archives, and might as well have been, what with all the information a brief
mention of their inhabitance of the water planet provided. The elderly Master
shook his head, but continued his course for the Ninaen city of Tzania, where
the elders of the tribes Kakygu and Nagiiin had agreed to meet. They were disputing
which tribe owned the rights to mine the fields of Jabnik for the oxygen rich
soils the dunes provided. Each tribe had records proving their right to the
fields, and there were obviously some false documents to be found. In short, it
was going to be a long meeting.

His arrival in Tzania was unheralded, and rather boring.
He was met by what appeared to be one official, whom he later discovered was no
more than an errand boy sent to fetch the negotiator his his transport. Quiinj
had found the journey down from the surface quite fascinating. The locals
operating the sea ranches on the surface had been most welcoming, and he’d
spent a wonderful evening in their company before descending into Chad’s depths
this morning. He’d he quite chocked to learn that the Ninaen city was over 20
000 feet below the surface, and that the Ninaen wnot not only private with
interstellar travelers, they had little to no contact with the human surface
dwellers. It was very odd indeed, not to mentioerlyerly suspicious. Quiinj
didn’t bother hiding his anxiety at meeting a race of people so totally closed
off from the outside world. It hadn’t slipped his notice that he would be one
of the few outsiders permitted to see the mysterious Ninaen, and he’d made damn
sure every one of his contacts knew where he was going, and when he was due
back. Just in case. One could never be too cautious in today’s galaxy. He
smiled at the thought of his lover, Qui-Gon Jinn, running to his re.

He and Jinn had had to keep their relationship private,
and discreet. If the Council were ever to discover their union, they would be
barred from the Order forever. Quiinj ho ado admit that the idea held a certain
amount of promise, but he knew Qui-Gon would never go for it. Together, they
ran rings around the guidelines set down by the order, walking on the edge of
proper decorum, and using the force in their own unique way.

Quiinj himself favored the older Jedi practices, those
wiped out by current dictates and rules. Quiinj prided himself on his beliefs
and values, and he certainly didn’t see the harm in a love bond forming between
two Knights. However, the Council didn’t see it that way. They believed such a
thing was a distraction, and that the natural forces of the body took away from
the elevation of the mind. As such, all Jedi were required to take a vow of
chastity for the Order. A vow he had whole-heartedly taken at the age of twelve
when he’d become an apprentice. Ten years after the fact, he was starting to
feel the ramifications of that vow.

It didn’t help that he was a Velha, a species who were
regarded as the most sexual race in the galaxy. That Quiinj had been born and
taken from his family by the Order shortly after his birth hadn’t helped
matters. It seemedt tht that vital bit of information regarding his origins had
become lost is a sea of details affectionately called “paperwork”. Quiinj had
presumed he was a normal human male until that fateful morning at the tender
age of twenty-two when his sex drive had kicked into high gear and demanded he
choose a bond mate. His logical choice, in the effort of self-preservation, had
been the closest sentient being present. That being had been his unfortunate
roommate, Qui-Gon Jinn. Nothing had ever been said about the means that had
brought the two together. Qui-Gon had never complained, and Quiinj had never
felt the need to bring it up. They’d
been togethew fow for almost twenty years, and he hoped that they would both be
permitted a break to coincide with that anniversary.

But now, to the task at hand. He certainly didn’t want to
provide the Order with proof that their ideas about bonded Knights were
correct. He needed to focus, and focus he would. He ran a calming hand through
his cropped auburn locks. They were peppered with some slight gray, something
he’d noticed with consible ble alarm last winter, but Qui-Gon had reassured
him, and that had been that. He took comfort in knowing his slightly older
lover had a long sleek mane of silver to compliment his own aging look. He
shook his head, desperate now to clear the thoughts running amok in his head.
This was an important mission for the establishment of relations between the
Ninaen and the Republic. If all went
well, the reclusive race might even take him up on his offer of sending a
representative to speak for them in the Galactic Senate.

If all went well.

~*~*~*~

The seedy bar Windu led them into was not what Ida would
have expected from the second of the Jedi Order. It was on one of the lower
levels of Coruscant, which immediately led her to presume that the men or woman
she was about to meet was not supposed to know what he did.

Hence, the bad feeling growing in her stomach. She was
grateful for the generous and reassuring weight of her lightsaber, swinging
solidly at her hip. She allowed Legolas to take the lead as she stretched out
with her senses in an effort to prevent any unnecessary skirmishes that might
take place.

For the most part, they were ignored. Apparently, the types
that lived down here were smart enough to stay clear of the brown-robed trio.
Ida had to at least give them that. It didn’t serve to alleviate her paranoia
though.

Now, they were seated at a both in the darkest corner of the
bar. She outright avoided placing an order, and only scowled at Legolas when he
ordered a cocktail invitingly called “sweet sunshine on a sexy beach.” Ha! And
he said he wasn’t gay. Much to her surprise, Windu placed a similar order,
while Ida still declined any beverage whatsoever. Someone had to stay sober.

The man that approached them close to an hour later was also
nothing of what Ida expected. Heavyset, with long greasy hair that somewhat
resembled the retro looks sported by really bad music groups that had had the
height of their success a decade prior. His suit, a well-worn affair in a squeamish
shade of swamp green, had obviously seen better days. The buttons were near to
bursting on his large frame, and his collar was damp with sweat. Very
attractive, indeed.

His name turned out to be Jaccob Taknib, and he’d been to
Earth, as it was called, about thirty years ago. He told them of how the planet
was inhabited by primitive humans, how there were large religious fractions,
and that they ought to stay away from some dark-side establishment called
McDonalds. “It’s evil. Stay the fuck away from it.” Oh yes, and he had a
wonderfully colourful vocabulary, much to Ida’s amusement.

There was very little he was able to tellm thm that they
didn’t already know, but there was something that stumped her about this whole
mission. “Master Windu, if I may ask, if this planet is as isolated as you say,
and populated by a mass of humans, why are you sending me and Legolas there?
Why not choose a team of *human* Jedi for this task? They would certainly have
a better time of keeping a low profile, don’t’ you think? It really doesn’t
make any sense.”

“Oh! But it makes perfect sense!knibknib interjected. “You
see, these humans ain’t like other humans in the galaxy. They have a good
imagination’s and they use their culture to share that stuff with the whole society.
When I’as on Earth, I spent a bit of time in a waterin’ hole in a place called
‘Hollywood.’ One day, I got a bit too much into it, and I got to talkin’ with
this guy ‘side me abhow how the Government was goin’ to hell, the Jedi Knights
takin’ everythin over, etc etc. I thought I’d be fried for revealing the
presence of our way of life to this primitive individual, or worse, they’d kill
him! Well, turns out this guy thought I was just telling a story. He went on to
develop it further, and now he’s a friggen billionaire. Goes by the name of
Lucas.” The Jedi just stared at him as though he’s lost his mind. He grinned,
throwing back another quart of Corellian Ale, and wiping his mouth on his
tattered sleeve. “He came up with this thing called “Star Wars,” a story about
Jedi Knights in the Republic. Great story, creepy shit, but great. The point of
all this is that you kids can go to Earth dressed just as you are, and no one’d
give a lick about it. Just tell him your going to the ‘Convention’ or some such
bullshit. Oh, and stay the fuck away from a place called ‘Canada.’ Those
bastards are way too nice. I think they mean to lure you into thcouncountry and
then have ye disappear. So, don’t go there. Nuff’ said.”

To say that the meeting had been interesting would have been
a fair bit of an understatement. Hours later, seated in her favorite chair
while reviewing a data pad on Interstellar Relations, she couldn’t get the
image of the hulking scum out of her head. Legolas was reclining on the sofa
again, this time sans shirt, his long blonde hair cascading in waves over the
pillow his fair head was rested on. She surveyed her partner for a moment,
reflecting on his appearance for not the first time in her life. He was a
beauty surely, but not in any means sexually attractive, to her, at least.
Mind, she wasn’t supposed to have such thos ats at all, so why did it matter?
She smiled slightly, resuming her analysis of Legolas’ form. His body was
finely developed after thousands of years of training and exercise. While she
knew that he was several thousand years old, she didn’t know how many thousands
of years that was. Legolas never talked about his past. Not that she could
blame him. Suppoupposed that was why they worked so well together. It was at
times like this, when sharing a companionable silence that she was all the more
grateful for his presence. Anyone else would start in to asking questions, and
questions, were not something she could handle there and now.

~*~*~*~

It was dark on the Jabnik fields, and she was scared. She
told Master Tabij, but again, he wouldn’t listen, citing destiny as an excuse.
“You are a water weaver, young one. Go, do your duty for your people.”

Now she was out, alone among the crushing forces of
Chad’s currents. Her job was to find and direct those currents so that the
miners could bring up the oxides from below. There was no sight, no sound, nor
sense: nothing but the cold deep of the ocean around her. She knew she could
find the currents, direct them. That part was easy. She could feel them dancing
around her. All she had to do was concentrate on them, and *push.* Then, they
would move, and she could go home. But, there was something different about the
ocean that day. It was angry. She could feel its pulsing breath in her head,
screaming over and over. She’d heard the warning weeks ago, but no one would
listen to her. “You are a water weaver, Nygida! Learn your place.”