I am Jack

                  by Sann M

The feel of smoke filling my lungs, the hum of screaming, and the pain searing
through my body had become everything.  Fight club had filled my life, as Tyler
once had.  My obsession, the only thing keeping me from walking into a local
mall and blowing my brains out.  The pain of fist hitting flesh, and pound of my
heart was my only grip onto sanity.

The scars didn’t even have time to heal anymore, from one beating to the next. 
The constant hope that I wouldn’t move after each fight; feel my last breath
leave my lungs. Just to be nothing, no fight club, no Marla, no Tyler.

I walked into the center of the pit, that had become fight club.  My forehead
still bleeding, from the fight minutes ago.  I barely fought back anymore, ignoring
the fist hitting my jaw.  My eyes blurred with tears, and blood as I stumble
backwards.  The fist enter my senses, again and again. The feel of my body
slammed into cement, and head pounded against it. Pain blossoming into liquid
fire, and my head pounding as if a sledge hammer had hit it.

“Give.”  My voice gargled, blood seeping onto the cement warmed by the bodies
of the other beaten.  Hands pulling me to my feet, and cold steel against my
back.  the blur of other as they walked back to the ring of nothingness.

I couldn’t even hear the screaming anymore, only a buzz.  I was on my feet, the
pain willing my body, making me whole.  I didn’t even stay till the end of fight
club anymore, not that it mattered.  No one even knew that I had left, they just
watched and waited wanting the feel of blood to drown their mind.  Escape from
truth, that had become their lives.

Tyler had overlooked one thing, a entire backup of every credit receipt,
deposit, and withdrawal.  All that the bombs had accomplished was raise in
taxes, and a month without credit cards.  No one started over, it was just the
same except now there was no Tyler.

I missed him, missed the feel of knowing nothing matter when Tyler was there. 
He was everything, and nothing.  He didn’t give a rat’s ass about anything,
breathing was good enough for him.

When I shot myself to kill Tyler, I didn’t know what I was missing.  Marla was a
good fuck, but rattled on about nothing.  Most of the time I didn’t even hear
her, just stared at her mouth till I decided to fuck her just to get her to shut
the hell up.

I am Jack’s regret.

I walked into Marla’s shit hole of a apartment, the musk of sex and cheap
perfume lingered in the air.  She was lying on the bed, still asleep from the
last fuck I had given her two hours ago.  I stripped off my clothes, blood
staining them.  Marla rolled over, a knowing smile spreading across her lips.

The ache of the pain, making me hard.  Tyler had done this to me, his voice
bringing me to heights of arousal that I had never known before.  I felt her
lips wrap around the head of my dick, and the harsh sucking.  Marla had never
sucked me till I came, just for a moment.  Then I would fuck her till my dick
had expelled the pain from my body.

It wouldn’t be long before I was walking back into fight club.  It wasn’t hard
to find the pain, since most wanted to fight the bad ass Tyler Durden.  I
figured they would stop worshipping “me”  when I stopped fighting back. 
“Tyler’s” followers only thought he was showing what a tough motherfucker he was
for not putting up a fight.

I was pounding into Marla her screaming a distance sound in the darkness.  The
thoughts of Tyler fucking her, fleeting through my mind.  The grunts and groans
as he came inside this dumb cunt.  My mind raced, feeling my pain being
spilled into her.  My body tense, her face changing into Tyler’s.

My lips smashed into his, the scent of sweat and blood invading my senses. 
His tongue pillaged my mouth; the ecstasy of the soft breast morph into a
rock hard chest.

I closed my eyes, trying to soak him in.  I wanted to absorb Tyler, to make
him come back to me instead of fleeting moments like this.  I had happened once
when he had been beaten so bad, that they were forced to call 911.  He just
stood staring at me, my body yearning for his touch.

Now this, I opened my eyes to watch Tyler, instead Marla scream entered me.  Her face
contorted in bliss, the last of my pain filling her.  I pulled out of her, not
caring about the crying of objections.

I needed to get away from her, back to fight club.  To fill myself with pain,
till Tyler could enter me again.  Till Tyler was my everything.  I pulled on my
pants, and didn’t bother to button my shirt.  Not that it mattered, “Tyler” ran
this shit town.  From police to bums on the street.  He could walk into the street
naked, and no one would say a damn thing.

I didn’t look back at her, just didn’t care enough to.  I walked down the steps,
my heart slowing from the latest encounter with Tyler.  I needed him, just to
see his face.  To know again that nothing mattered.

I was at fight club before I knew it.  Mostly new guys, but a few from the last
meeting a hour ago.  Junkies just like me, wanting the pain of the fight.

“Tyler.”  I looked up to see one of the newer fight club members, walking over
to me.  His expression cocky, a smile of obvious triumphant over the last
fight filling his lips.  I knew he wanted to fight me, because I wanted to.  I nodded my head, while a circle surrounded
us.  The last fight stopped in mid punch, when his/my name was called.

I smiled, indicating I was ready.  The foot long fist hit me square in the
chest, my heart felt like it had exploded.  I stumbled backwards, hitting
against a cushioned pole.

I am Jack’s pain.

Each blow, crushing.  The fist pounding my stomach, my side, my chest.  “Fucking
hurts don’t it.”  Tyler’s voice echoed through the room.  I looked at the
pounding force...Tyler.  His fist hitting my chest, crushing me under every blow.


I felt a rib break but nowordword slipped from my mouth.  I just stared at
Tyler, smiling as he pounded me.  “Give!”  he demanded, his fist stopped.

“No.”  I whispered, staring at his eyes.  The bellowing crowd desecrated into
nothing, only the sound of Tyler seeping through my senses.

“Give!”  Tyler screamed, before his fist exploded on my chest.

The pain was dull, as I stared at the blue eyes.  “Never.”  I whispered, a smile
spreading across my face.

A fist robbed me of air, landing on my stomach.  I doubled over,
“Never!” I bellowed, before forcing myself up.  The deafening screams slapped my
senses, while I stood back up looking at the new guy.  His face a mask of fury,
resentment filled me.

I am Jack’s hate for man.

My fist cracked across his jaw, a loud crack echoing through a sudden silence. 
He fell to the ground, while white chunks of teeth fell out of his mouth.  I stared
down, watching him land.  His eyes closed, and his jaw at a strange angle.

Lookip I p I saw faces full of horror, respect, admiration.  I walked out of the
circle, the pain from the broken rib already crippling.  I made it outside, the
air a jagged ice stabbing every inch of skin.

Walking to the hospital, a large mound of blackened skin growing on my side. 
I stumbled into the emergency room, thankful for remembering my wallet.  I fell
face first to the ground.

I awoke of a man talking, the voice familiar.  He was not in the mood to make up
a lie tonight.  I started to sit up, but a hand forced me down.  “Relax, Mister
Durden.  We have it covered.”

Of course, they knew me.  Probably why I was in a private room, and not face
down in the emergency room still.  My vision cleared to see a broken nosed man
staring down at me.  I had fought him about a month ago.  “Get out.”  I
muttered, sitting up.

“Yes sir.”  He said, walking out without a single arguement.

The pain was only slight, as I forced myself off the bed.  “You look like shit.”


Looking up I saw Tyler leaning against the wall, a smile on his face. 
“Tyler?”  I whispered, a feeling euphoria sweeping over me.

“No, who the fuck do you think it is?”  Tyler laughed, pushing off the wall with
his a


“Your dead.”  I said, sitting back on the bed as vertigo took over.

“Fucking stupid.”  He laughed, his cigarette leaving a snake of smoke behind
him.  “I’m your imaginary friend.”

I stared at the smoke, while it seemed to curl up in itself.  This couldn’t be
real.  “It’s real.”  Tyler sighed, pinching my arm ruthlessly.

“Why?”  I asked.

“You know why.”  Tyler grinned, putting out his cigarette out on the floor.

I wasn’t asking why he was back, but why he took so long.  But I didn’t say
that.  I just stared at him, as he locked the hospital door.  He sat on the
end of the bed; his hand disappearing behind me.

“You have been wanting this?”  Tyler asked, pulling the knots of the gown
loose.

I knew I didn’t need to answer, leaning to give him a gentle kiss.  This
time his kiss was slow, savoring.  He pulled the gown from my body, revealing
only bandage around my waist.

“Tyler.”  I murmured, while he pushed me to lay back on the bed. My eight and a
half inch dick fully erect, with only a soft kiss.  He stood up, stripping off
his clothes quickly.  His beautiful golden body, dimly lite from the small hospital
light.

I groaned, watching his ten inch dick pointing at me.  I had never thought about
sucking a guy off in my life, but my mouth watered for Tyler’s.  “Go ahead.” He
smiled, waving to his dick.

I am Jack’s arousal.

I was on my knees, the thought of pain gone.  The crimson cockhead against my lips,
savoring the sweetness that is Tyler.  I flicked my tongue out, tasting the
ambrosia that I had longed for.  It was bitter, and salty it reminded me of
fighting.  The salt taste of sweat, and bitter flow of blood in your mouth.

I sucked the head in, hungering for his essence.  Tyler’s hands were on the back
of my head, impaling my face onto him.  I started to choke, but thanked god when
Tyler didn’t stop.  He just kept pushing till the entire ten inches was in his
mouth and down my throat.

I sucked, refusing to back down to the pain the ten inches of bliss was causing
me.  Tyler was moaning, louder then I had ever heard with Marla.  I wanted to
cry when he pulled back but seconds later it burned down my throat.  Scratching
the sides, making pain into heaven.  Over and over this happened
till my throat was numb and Tyler essence was pouring into me.  I was going to
come.

‘Don’t cum.”  Tyler groaned.

I tried to concentrate on the pain, instead of the bliss.  It was harder said
than done.  Tyler pulled out of my throat, the bitter salt drowning me in
rapture.

“Tyler.”  I groaned, my throat stinging from the rough treatment.

I am Jack’s rhapsody.

Tyler picked me up, thrust me on the bed, before kissing me.  His tongue swirling
the sweetness in my mouth, as he ran his hands up and down my back.  I was lost.


He pulled away, forcing me to lay across the bed sideways.  My head dangling
over the other side.  “I was thinking about this ass when I fucked Marla.”  He
grinned, squeezing my ass cheeks.  “Doubt if she can live up to this beauty.”

I was going to cum.  Tyler voice was bringing me to a new height of arousal. 
I'm going to cum.  “Don’t.” Tyler barked, squeezing my penis.  A living cockring.


Tyler didn’t say a word, spreading my cheeks with one hand.  I had never felt
anything so big in my life.   Tyler started to push his cockhead into me. 
"Fuck!" He snarled, through clenched teeth.

I squeezed my eyes shut, then opened them again.  Tyler was still standing over
me, still pushing his ten inches into me.  A smile spread across my face, before his
dick slammed into me.  My back arched as a white hot pain tore my insides, Tyler
cock pulsing at the center of it.   My arousal sagged, ache stealing away my lust.

Tyler's hand moved away from my arousal.  His eyes were cold, taking
a brutal grip on my hips.  "Tyler."  I moaned, as he pulled out in a slow
deliberate movement.  "St..."

Tyler slammed into the center of scolding pain, his head thrown back in a
soundless cry.  Tears streamed down my mangled face, while he continued the slow
assult of my body.  I closed my eyes, the pain ripping my senses from my body. 
I fainted.

----------

"Tyler?"

Sile&nbs  I rolled onto  my side, as a ache spread through my entire being. 
"Jesus fucking Christ?  What happened?"  Marla said.  She was sitting on the
side of the hospital bed, her breath stinking of alcohol, and tobacco.  I didn't
want to answer her, I wanted to go to the bathroom and take the bottle of pain
killers that was sitting on the side table.

"I was so scared when you didn't show..."Marla was babbling about something; I
didn't have the luxury to fuck her just to get her to shut up anymore.  I just
stared at her, a silence descending as I felt a sweet throb of Tyler in my gut.


I had fainted on the only thing that I had ever wanted in my life.

I am Jack's hate for self.

------------

The pound of the crowd entered my senses, in a slow slither.  Each set of eyes
downcast, refusing my unspoken challenge.  It had been three weeks since I had
seen Tyler, since he had ripped through my body.  My rib had not completely
healed but I didn't give a damn.  I needed Tyler back, needed not to give a damn
that men would practically kneel at his feet when he passed.  That I had become
nothing more then a shadow of Tyler Durden.

"Durden."  I closed my eyes as the word sent red hot streams of arousal to my
groin, and a new sense of lust peaked through my body.  “Ready to have your ass
kicked?”

I felt silent craze enter my mind, staring up at the mountain smirking down at
me.  The sadistic grin on my face, scattering several men behind the mountain as
I backed toward the center of the basement.  Staring at the pale blue of the
man’s eyes, while he lazily cracked his knuckles.  I fought back the chest deep
moan that swelled in me, as  the ruthless smirk stroking my hunger for the pain.
“Tyler!  Tyler!”  The name was animalistic bellows, from the blood ravenous men
swarming around.

The Mountain seemed not to notice the men, taking slow almost seductive
steps toward me.  I felt a quiver of excitement bounce in my stomach, watching him
licked lips.  “So, your the amazing Tyler Durden?”  My groin pulsed as the
Mountain stopped a foot from me, “How fucking disappointing.”

Nothing could of prepared me for the fists wrath, my weaken body lifting off
the ground before falling into a aching mound.  “How fucking disappointing...” 
The voice was unnaturally raw with hate,  my head being lifted off the ground. 
I didn’t tap out, while my head bounced off the ground.

I am Jack’s rock bottom.

My senses didn’t dull hearing the eerie sound of cracking, the distance
gushing echoed my ears.  My head pounded against the cement, and then the
mountain lifted off my body.  No Tyler, just pain as the sounds of the crowd
continued to chant Tyler.  Each bellow louder then the last, as I rolled onto my
back.   The Mountain collapsed his face a blanket of blood.  I stared at the
body, laying limply next to me.  “Tyler!  Tyler!  Tyler!”

What the hell happened?  I looked up to see who my savior had been, and my mind
raced as Tyler stared down at me.  His eyes blazing with anger, and
possessiveness that made me want to jack off right in front of the group of
men.  “Get the fuck out!”  Tyler’s voice was filled with a hunger that
frightened me as much as it excited me.  “And take that piece of shit with you.”


I didn’t look away as Tyler’s eyes explored my body for injury as much as lust. 
Moments passed before the room fell into silence.  “Tyler?”  I choked on the
words, tears springing to my eyes.  Tyler didn’t say anything as he paced at my
feet, his eyes never leaving me.  “Tyler?”  I repeated, the craving in my body
screaming for release.

The intensity in his eyes terrifying me, as he knelt between my legs.  “Are you
okay?”  He whispered, pulling me into his arms.

I wanted to tell him that I was okay as long as he held me but the shock of the
question seemed to pound more in my mind.  Tyler had never asked of my welfare,
only ranted about I was society’s slave.  I just rest my head against his
shoulder, wrapping my arms around him.  God, he was so warm.

“Damn you!” He growled, pulling me closer.

My entire body arched, as his lips crushed mine.  I was lost, his tongue
tasting mine in a possessive need.  He pulled me back, both our breath coming in
erratic spurts.  “Damn you to hell.”  He whispered.  I stared at a line of blood
sliding down his cheek.

“I love you, Tyler.”  I whispered,  licking the trail of blood.  The copper of
the blood aroused me beyond thinking, before I pulled Tyler into another kiss. 
Sharing the essence of him, as I crushing the rock hard body against me.  I
wrapped my legs around the beautiful man, rocking our groins together.

“Mine.”  He growled, against my neck.  I exposed my neck fully as he nibbled
gently.  He grabbed my hair, pulling my head till I was eye to eye with him. 
“Forever.”  The words were permanent as they were ruthless.

He slide down my body; his hand soothing my head before pinning my arm. 
“Mine.”  He snarled, bitting at my nipple.  He broke the skin but I didn’t care
as he suckled it.  He sucked till I was sore, then he moved to the
other giving it equal treatment.  Growling that I belonged to him, while cupping the bulge in my pants.  I was lost, as he ripped the front of my
pants open in one powerful yank.  I had never felt so exposed, his eyes taking in my throbbing member.  “Mine.”  He breathed, before taking a long, loving lick
on my tip.

Lust threw the last of my mind out as he took the pulsing head in his mouth, my
hand touching his prickly shaven head.  “Tyler.”  I cried, a slick finger
slipping into my anus.  I pushed my legs wider, as he spread me.   My heart 
pounded in my ears, while he leaned back to blow on my aching tip.   The fingers
playing with my ass, in a way that should be illegal.

I locked eyes with Tyler, pulling him on top of me.  “Please, Tyler.”  I
cried, the fingers evacuating my ass.  His eyes seemed to burn me with his
lust; my fingers numbly pulling at the zipper on pants.

His eyes held mine, as he wrestled with his pants till that were at his
knees.  His cock slide into my already slick ass, in one smooth movement.  I
threw my head back in a soundless cry, from the utter rapture of it.  It was so
natural, and I felt so whole.  He rocked gently, while I tossed my head back trying
to fight the orgasm that threatened to overcome me.

I was going to come.  “Fuck me!”  I cried.

Tyler pounded into me, bellowing mine with each thrust.  Each time hitting a
spot deep inside that was bring me screaming to orgasm.  Tyler stiffened on top
of me, filling me with his lust.  It seemed hours before we stopped coming,
and he collapsed on top of me.  “Mine.”  He whispered, sliding his sweat
drenched body beside me.  He wrapped his arms around me, while we lay in a oblivion
of bliss.  “I love you.”  He whispered, holding me closer. “Forever.”

I am Jack.