Second Chances | By : ZombieWithANoose Category: 1 through F > Drop Dead Fred Views: 3130 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: We don't own Drop Dead Fred and are not making any profit/money off of this. |
Authors' Notes:
zombierose3: DirtyAim is amazing and precious for writing this chapter with me and everyone needs to know it.
DirtyAim: See kids, this is what happens when you leave really nice reviews! The author lets you write the fic with them!
**Disclaimers: We don't own Drop Dead Fred, Star Wars, the Force, and are poor. There is no money in our pockets.
Chapter Eight
Imaginary Friends 101
Come on, Snotface. Just let it out. Fred's stare could have tunneled into Lizzie's fingers if possible in wait for her to figure out how to release her magic. He had never been a patient man, and though he remembered the first activation took a bit, as the powers needed a charge to get going, he did not think he could stand to wait much longer.
Come on, you've gotta do this for me...
As much as he wanted to help again, he dared not move, afraid to break her concentration. She had to do this on her own, then they could show those smarmy Other Otherworld disasters she was worth everything he'd promised, but Fred frowned. She was taking an awfully long time, and from what he felt off Lizzie her magic seemed ready to go. Something's holding her back...
Meanwhile, Lizzie was pretty sure she was sweating as an enormous amount of pressure kept building within her with nowhere to go. "Fred? I- I can't get it to come out. It's stuck!" She didn't dare look over at her best friend for worry of breaking her concentration, but she also feared if she didn't relieve the pressure soon that her hand might blow off. Which it probably could now that she was an imaginary friend.
Damn it. Just let it out, Lizzie! Come on... she begged of herself.
"Breathe, Snotface. You're not trying to poo."
The absurdity of his statement conjured up such a horrible mental image for Lizzie that the worst possible thing happened.
She laughed.
An eruption of snorts and giggles, interspersed with the image of herself looking that ridiculous fed her hysteria. The much needed relief in tension finally opened up the pathway for her magic to release from her body, spurting out in twinkling fits.
Fred grinned. I knew that would get her to relax, he thought and soon found himself laughing with her, most of it an expulsion of his own relief. "That's it! See, I told you, you could do it. Just had to get that head of yours to switch off long enough." He strutted proudly, dotting it with a hop, and clapping at Lizzie's success.
The last gush of magic left her hand with Lizzie watching in amazement. She'd done it... SHE HAD DONE IT! Excitement and relief both overwhelmed her and she clasped her arms around Fred's neck, hugging him for all she was worth. "I did it! I really did it!" she cried, happily. Fred's arms wrapped around her tight and he lifted her up off the ground.
"I told you. You're a real imaginary friend, after all." He laughed, setting her down, and trying to contain the swell of emotion within him. She was really going to do this. Now if he could just keep his senses about him long enough to make sure. For once maybe he wouldn't muck things up.
Lizzie squeezed him tighter, which also happened to bury her face in his neck. "Thank you! I couldn't have done this without your help." She breathed him in deeply and lifted her head to give him the happiest grin she had ever felt. "I owe you so much. Just- Thank you!" she said, emotionally. Unable to help herself, even though she knew that Fred didn't like 'girly' displays of affection, she darted in and placed a heartfelt kiss next to his mouth.
The strangest giggle escaped Fred, followed by a snort. His body reacted like he'd been tased and he jerked back. Rolling his shoulders, he tried to stand as tall as he could. That had felt weird. Really weird. Unexpectedly WEIRD. His whole body warmed and he wanted to crawl away from the sensation. "I- Well, you're welcome, Snotface," he said, sporting his famous mischievous sneer that pulled up his nose and bore his teeth. "I'm Fred! It's what I do." He boastfully nodded at her. "Now we can start to have some real fun."
Unwrapping herself from Fred, Lizzie bounced back on her toes, brimming with excitement over becoming an imaginary friend for the first time. "Great! What did you have in mind?"
Fred quickly forgot his discomfort and leaned back in at Lizzie. "Hide-and-seek," he announced, grinning.
Lizzie's smile mirrored his own. "And you loooooove hide-and-seek!"
"Yep," he said, tapping the tip of her nose with his finger. "But this time it's gonna be a lot more fun, and teach you to tap into some more of those new magic tricks of yours. Just don't leave me all night in the garden shed."
She considered it. "Weeelll..."
"Well, what?" He huffed.
"Maybe I can promise, since you did help me and all..."
Scoffing, Fred tossed his head back. "Oh, how generous of you." He stuck out his tongue before curling his lips into a crooked smile. "This game's gonna be a little different. Now that you know what magic feels like, let's see if you can find it in other places. Like me." He waved his hand in the air and in a blink, he vanished to his chosen hiding place.
Laughter rang out in the empty yard, the nostalgic excitement of playing Fred's favorite game making Lizzie giddy, but how to find him? In the past Fred had always loved hiding in the oddest places, which had often caused her searches to last forever. Though once he had hidden in the peppershaker, mistaking it for salt, and the resulting sneezes had led her to him much quicker than normal. She still remembered how it took ages for him to stop sneezing and subsequently bouncing off the walls.
But now Lizzie had magic of her own... so how did she use it to track Fred? He wanted to teach her how to feel her own power, so maybe she just had to try and sense his? Kinda like finding the thing that doesn't belong, maybe?
Deciding this was the best way to go, Lizzie headed inside, carefully trying to sense where Fred might be hiding. She began with the living room and after no luck, made a beeline for the stairs, continuing up until she reached the attic. Fred always had a weird thing for attics so she wanted to cross it off of her list quickly, but all she sensed was an itchy nose.
Guess you're not gonna make this easy on me.
Undeterred, she headed for Natalie's bedroom and found a normal little girl's room decked out with cartoon characters and toys everywhere. "My mother should take tips," she lamented. "Natalie doesn't know how lucky she is." On the bedside dresser, Lizzie noticed a framed photo of Natalie with her mother. A small ache lanced her heart. Lizzie hoped that someday soon her mom would come around and be a bigger part of her daughter's life. Every child needed their mother, and their father, even if they weren't together.
Sighing, Lizzie got back to business before Fred got bored and popped out at her with penis-shaped balloon animals, or something. She made quick work of checking every nook and cranny, even the electrical outlets, to see if she felt any difference, but still found nothing. "Come on. Where are you?" she whispered. She tried the spare bedroom, both bathrooms, the den, and even the hall closets. By the time she stood outside Mickey's bedroom she had lost her newfound confidence and gained an ardent frustration with herself.
Was he really hiding that well, or was she that horrible at being able to sense him? Lizzie debated on whether or not to search Mickey's room. Even though they had been dating she had never seen it, and the idea of intruding made her feel odd. In her mind, Fred's disgusted voice pretending to be sick all over the floor decided it for her and she gave the room a pass. The idea of possibly seeing something she shouldn't in there was enough to keep her out anyways. That left just one more room.
The kitchen. He had to be in the kitchen because she was sure that she hadn't sensed him anywhere else.
Anticipation spiking, she hurried to it, eager to open the cupboards like when she was a little girl, but stopped herself.
No, I have to find him the right way...
Determined, Lizzie closed her eyes and concentrated. She immediately felt ridiculous with herself, but shrugged it off. She needed to be able to find his magic and with her eyes open she would be too tempted to just check the hiding places physically.
Come on, Lizzie... Use the Force, or something!
Slowly, she tuned out all of the noises coming from outside and focused on the sound of her breathing. As that became all she heard, she shut it out as well, locking herself into her own silent solitude. Inside the darkness, she tried to send out her own sense of awareness, like searching for a light in the dark. A faint glow finally appeared in her mind, the tiny pulse of green beating faintly some feet in front of her, and the longer she concentrated on it the clearer it became.
She had him!
Elated, Lizzie sprung to catch Fred, only to ram right into the Bunce's dinner table.
"Oof!"
Grimacing, Lizzie opened her eyes and looked around sheepishly. Really graceful, Lizzie. She hoped no one had seen that, but she suddenly noticed that the kitchen sink was about the right distance from where the glow of magic had come from. Concentrating on it, she could see an odd sort of shimmer dancing around the edges and her grin returned as an idea for revenge popped into her mind.
Gotcha this time, Fred.
Tiptoeing over to the sink, Lizzie bent in preparation, her hand on the cupboard door. She would get him this time and he would never expect it because she had always lost at hide-and-seek. Well now she had the upper hand. She'd fling open the door and yell right in Fred's face, scaring him for once.
However, a flash of green turned the knobs of the sink. Water sprayed from the faucet in an unnatural deluge of ice cold surprise. Lizzie shrieked, water hitting her full in the face and moving down the front of her body as though it had eyes. Below, the cupboard doors kicked open and Fred tumbled to the floor, splayed out in a fit of laughter. The water stopped, except for the tears in Fred's eyes as he pointed up at her.
"Look- Look at you! I got you! Oh, I got you!" He writhed, arms wrapped around himself as he cackled.
Dripping like a drowned cat, Lizzie could only stare in shock as Fred howled like a madman on the kitchen floor. Oh, he's going to pay for this! A violent shiver passed over her entire body and Lizzie felt her nipples harden painfully against the fabric of her t-shirt. Dawning horror bloomed across her face as she realized that she wasn't wearing anything underneath her now see-through shirt.
Panicked eyes locked on Fred. "Get me dry clothes now!" she demanded.
Fred snickered. "Why?"
"I need a bra!" she hissed.
Fred rolled his eyes, but in the midst of opening his mouth with yet another snarky remark, he noticed the problem. "Oi! When did you start wearing boulder holders?" He sprung to his feet, pointing at her chest.
Lizzie glared at him impatiently before folding her arms over her now wet breasts. "When I grew up, Fred!" Geez, was he really just realizing that she had become a woman? It was probably a good thing that he hadn't been there when she had gone through puberty. She could only imagine what having 'the talk' with him might have been like!
Fred tried very hard not stare. She hadn't so much covered the problems as lifted them, and he could see the peachy outline of each puckered nipple perfectly. The weight of each breast rested nicely atop her arms, creating a very pleasing shape. He needed to redirect the situation fast.
"Well, that's not my bloody fault! Turn those off. They're gonna put my eyes out!" He could feel them staring at him! Was the universe intent on showing him every one of Lizzie's bits this day?
Lizzie's face flamed and she hurried to properly cover herself. "Fred!"
"Well, THAT wasn't part of my plan!" Fred flailed, grabbing his hair.
"So get me some dry clothes, Fred, or I'll have to go up to Mickey's room and steal something of his!"
Fred's gaze snapped up to her face. "What? That girl?" Agitation flicked like electricity through him at the mention of Mickey. "Look, I know you want your swinging pillows covered up, but isn't that a bit drastic? Fartpants isn't even the same knocker size." Fred tapped his thigh. He couldn't get his thoughts off of boobs and he shielded his eyes before he ended up taking another peek at Lizzie.
Lizzie blanched. Wait, did he just? "Swinging Pillows?!" She was beside herself. She was stuck in a fucking other existence with a best friend who had the emotional maturity of a thirteen-year-old boy, and she was arguing over needing a bra! "That's it!"
Lizzie lunged for Fred's jacket, attacking the buttons, and forcefully attempting to pry the garment off. "If you're not going to give me new clothes then I'm gonna take yours!"
"Hey! Hey!" Fred spun about, trying to get away. He loved his jacket and he wasn't about to let her get her sopping wet hands all over it. Lizzie fought him like a desperate little animal, refusing to relent and the two of them rolled around the kitchen island, twisting and knocking against the counter. "Let go of me, you bloody raccoon!" Fred slapped at her hands, but Lizzie was relentless.
"Give it to me, Fred, or so help me!" She pried the buttons fastening his jacket apart and shoved it open. Dragging a sleeve down Fred's arm, she yanked it from his grasp.
"Oi, woman! I'm gonna be cold!" Fred made a grab for his beloved jacket, but the reach made him press ever so slightly against Lizzie's wet body. "Ugh!" Recoiling immediately, Fred flopped about and fell against the kitchen table, still half in his jacket. There was a wet imprint on his chest from where his shirt had touched hers. "How DARE you!" he cried. "My own best friend?!" He pointed at his chest. "Look at this! I've been stamped and robbed!"
Lizzie struggled to ignore Fred's rants and the slight tingling in her breasts where they had pressed against him. Clinging to her captured sleeve, she felt like she might have slightly lost her mind, but was too far gone to care. As calmly as she could muster she said, "Fred, if you don't give me this jacket right now, I'M GOING TO STAMP YOU AGAIN!"
"Back off, nipples witch! You already have well enough, I'd say, FRIEND!" he shouted, standing up and looking down at the front of his shirt with a pout. "Are you satisfied? You and your pointy friends? Hmm? Look at this, you can almost see my nipples now!"
An audible choke escaped her and she abruptly let go of Fred's sleeve. "Fine, if you can't share after getting me wet, then I'm going to go find something else to wear! Me AND my pointy friends!" With a huff, she turned on her heels and stomped her way to the stairs, intent on rummaging through Mickey's clothes. Hopefully she'd find something he wouldn't miss.
"UGGHH, stop it! Alright!" he said. His jacket suddenly appeared on Lizzie, covering her and all her pointy bits. "You've worn my jockeys already tonight. Why not my jacket? Let's just give you the whole outfit. Why do I need it?" he ranted, talking more to himself than Lizzie as he walked over.
Relief washed through her when she felt the jacket's weight settle over her. Now that her bits were covered Fred would stop snarking about them. Pulling the sleeves up, Lizzie stopped and eyed Fred's tantrum. Without his jacket on she could see the bright yellow undershirt that he always wore topped with a pair of suspenders. This wasn't really news to her, having seen the shirt peek from underneath his jacket most of her childhood, but what made her pause was that she could now see how Fred filled that shirt.
Studying him close, she noticed that Fred had a surprisingly hard body. Since he had always shown up wearing his trademark jacket, she had never seen him without it unless he transformed it into something else. For some reason she had never before considered the idea of how he looked underneath. Now she couldn't seem to help it.
He's actually kind of handsome...
"I'll just be NUDE!" he shouted. "I'm Drop Dead Fred. Apparently, I give to the needy!" He wriggled. It felt so weird without his jacket, like a part of himself was gone.
Lizzie flushed from head to toe at the mental image forming in her head. Don't picture him naked. Don't picture him naked. Don't you dare picture him naked! It came dangerously close, but she managed to keep the lewd picture at bay. Surreptitiously she tried burying her face by drowning in Fred's jacket to hide her growing flush.
"Well, now that I've spared you from raiding Fartpants' panty drawer, can we move on?" he asked at last, setting his hands on his hips in the snarky way he did that wiggled his upper body. Glancing at the front door, he added, "I suppose we have some time before Nat gets here, and I'd like my jacket back before she does. So, how 'bout we practice on teaching you to make clothes? 'Cuz there's no way I'm conjuring up a girl's holster. That'll be the day..."
All of Lizzie's previous indignation vanished. "Holster? What's the matter, Fred? Don't like the word? Say it with me, 'bra,' Fred." Smirking, she shrugged Fred's jacket tighter around her body.
"Don't go sayin' such dirty words around me. I work with children, ya know!"
"Brassier!" she countered.
"Oi! Stop it, ya pervert or I'll have to gouge out my ears."
"So you can look up women's skirts and talk about panty drawers, but you find words that deal with breasts vulgar?" A devious grin split her lips. "Are you afraid of tits, Fred?" she teased.
He reddened. "I am NOT! You're just... Well, you're just a- Well, how would you like it if I flashed you, huh?" he shouted and swung his hips up in protest. "A rousing game of I'll show you mine if you show me yours?"
Fred was so embarrassed he barely knew what he was saying at this point. All he knew was he wanted to get her back for it.
Lizzie didn't know how, but she could sense Fred's embarrassment – and an embarrassed Fred was a vengeful one. Still, a dangerous idea struck her.
Tucking her hands below her head, she put on her most confident face and said, "'Kay. I'll show you mine if you show me yours." She counted on him to ultimately back out because if he didn't she would be forced to eat her words and more.
"You'll... Really?" His wide eyes darted over her like a game of pinball. "You know I'm serious, don't you? Because I'll do it! I'm mad crazy like that."
Fred's nervous composure, however, told Lizzie otherwise and she forced herself to stay calm and not to snicker or cringe at her plans. Widening her eyes a little, she played innocent like her life depended on it.
"Well, you were always complaining that I was too uptight, so yeah! I mean, it's just a pair of boobs, right? Shouldn't be a big deal. In fact, I think it would really help me get over my shyness if we could just get this out of the way right now."
Here goes nothing...
Taking the hem of her shirt, Lizzie slowly inched it up her rib cage.
Come on Lizzie, don't back out now!
Fred flipped, flinging his hands up so fast they may as well have been holding hot coals from the depths of Hell. "Whoa! Whoa! Hold it! Turn your high beams off, young lady! I'm your friend, I mean, I am, but I'm not THAT friendly- Oh, for fuck's sake, Snotface, I was just kidding; it was a game!"
Lizzie dropped her hands, slapping them to her sides, the biggest shit-eating grin on her face. "GOTCHA!" she cried, doubling over with laughter. "Ha! Hahaha... That... is what you get... for making me wet!" she managed in between guffaws. "Don't worry, Fred, the virtue of your eyes is safe with me," she added in mock seriousness.
Fred stared at her, pouting a long while. Oh, she's gonna get it when I come up with something later. "Hrrr, hrrr, hrrr!" he bellowed. "I wasted my time making you wet, I should've drowned you," he muttered. "Can we just get on to the lesson?"
Lizzie giggled. "Sure, I think that would be a good idea."
Plopping herself on the foot of the stairs, she hid her face behind his larger sleeves and stared up at him expectantly. A pleasant scent wafted under her nose and Lizzie realized that it was Fred's. Trying to be sneaky, she took a sniff and made a small hum behind her sleeve. He smelled rather pleasant for such a brat.
Rubbing his hands together, Fred paced in front of her, trying to escape the red on his face. "Good because I really wouldn't have been much help magicking you a dumpling harness and those things need contained." He took a deep breath and stopped. For a split second he noticed the glint of happiness in her eyes and it brought a slight smile to the corner of his mouth. He loved seeing her this way, in those brief moments when nothing troubled her, even if she was such a snotface. Especially right now.
"Right..." he said. "This can get tricky and we don't need any more mishaps. It's probably best you practice on me so you don't expose yourself any further. My eyes need a rest." He felt a flush warm his face. "So, concentrate ONLY on the top half," he said, eyes widening at her for emphasis. "And try to change my shirt to a different color. We'll start small."
Squinting at his shirt she asked, "So I just try to imagine it a different color, I guess?"
"While using your magic, yeah. Should be easy for you."
Nodding, Lizzie closed her eyes and imagined Fred's yellow shirt had turned a lovely shade of blue. A part of her had been tempted to turn it into something girly, but she figured they had gone through enough drama in the past little while. Biting her lip, Lizzie held the thought of Fred in her mind and tried to imagine her magic going into that image. She held her breath and a moment later opened her eyes to see if it had worked.
Admittedly, Fred had been riddled with anxiety the whole time, and breathed, perhaps too loud, a sigh of relief when he saw his shirt change from yellow to blue. "Hey, great! Nice job. See, I told those bastards you'd be good at this. You're my Snotface after all!" Clucking his tongue, he flashed her a wink.
Lizzie couldn't help the deep warmth she felt at Fred's compliment. She never got complimented for anything, not genuinely anyway, and to know that Fred had so much faith in her made her glow with self-pride. "I guess maybe I can get the hang of this. Should we try something else?"
"That's the spirit! Alright. Change my shirt." He held his arms out at his sides with a chipper, expectant expression.
"'Kay! I think I'm going to try it a little differently this time." She knew that she needed to be able to perform magic on the fly, and that meant that she couldn't be closing her eyes every time she needed to do something. So, she stared at Fred in his new, blue shirt for a long while, trying to decide what she should redress him in.
"Take your time," he said.
Lizzie nodded. She wanted to really impress him this time. Different tops and shirts flitted through her mind, but none of them seemed right. She wanted to do something amazing, something he would never expect.
"Hmm, you know I kinda feel like a doll," Fred mused at the whole moment.
The image came so fast she couldn't help it, and before she knew it her magic had responded. Lizzie felt her face flame once more as Fred's blue shirt disintegrated into nothing and he stood there with just his trousers and suspenders! "Oh my!" she whispered quietly as she found herself openly staring at a half-naked Fred.
Fred sniffed. "Yeah, that's... that's why I said just the top," he said, looking down at himself. He wasn't a bit embarrassed. Fred had no shame when it came to his body and he certainly saw no reason that this would be any sort of problem for Lizzie. "Well, the job's half done," he said, lifting his gaze back on her, but he paused as he noticed her gaping at him.
This made Fred blush. Something about that look in her eyes felt invasive to him, and he didn't like the vulnerable feel. "What? You never seen such a perfect specimen before?" Fred charged with an inescapable impulse to make that look on her face worse just for staring at him like that. Plus, she deserved it after taking his jacket. Bloody hell, she's still staring... Well alright.
Smirking, he licked his fingertips, then pretended like he were brushing something off one of his nipples. "Hmm, bit of lint. I HAAAATE it when that happens," he said, flicking it away and looking back at Lizzie. "Bloody hell. You're redder than a cherry, Snotface. Can I get you anything? Some popcorn for the show?"
Lizzie. Wanted. To. Die. The ability to speak had apparently fled her and now she was caught staring open-mouthed between Fred's face and his exposed and rather well-defined chest.
Oh. Oh god.
"Blink twice if you're in there!" he shouted.
At that, her seemingly ever-present irritation flared, allowing Lizzie to finally close her mouth. She was sorely tempted to say something rude to cover up the way she had blatantly ogled her friend, but a superior plan of attack struck her instead.
"No, I don't think I have seen better. You should go shirtless more often," she said with the straightest face she could manage. She had so little dignity left; she was determined not to lose what little shred she still possessed!
It was Fred's turn to freeze. Had she just... Had she just complimented his... Fred's eyes shifted to and fro, visually giving away just how hard his mind was trying to figure out a response. Before he could properly think, however, his mouth went on without him. "What?"
Lizzie swallowed a smile. She had him! "No really! Is there like an imaginary friend gym membership somewhere? You're pretty fit." Adding to the effect she stood up and poked his bicep, making him flinch.
Fred tried to look anywhere, but at Lizzie. Was she flirting with him? No. No, she couldn't be. Was she? No. Fred went back and forth with this personal crisis for quite some time and only snapped out of it when he felt her poke him a second time.
"Ahh! Uh..." He finally blinked and focused on her, nervous as all hell, until he realized- She was bloody messing with him. Her touch had given it away. Well, I'll show her.
"No, it's all me, actually," he said, smiling. Lifting a hand he ran his fingers through his messy hair. The action caused his arm to flex in Lizzie's view in the moment before he dropped it. "I just luckily dropped dead this way. But, since, uh, we're exchanging compliments and all, Snotface. I have something to tell you." He looked in her eyes with the most serious stare he had. "More of a confession, really."
The mention of Fred's demise was enough to wipe all sense of humor out of Lizzie. Dropping her hand she took a step back, studiously keeping her eyes on Fred's face. "Oh, what's that? Did you want to tell me that one of my headlights went out?" She gave a laugh, but her heart wasn't in it.
"Actually, no. They're both quite nice," he said. Fred's tone, his features, and even the way he shifted his body to face her suddenly took on the tone of the adult side of himself he rarely showed. "I honestly didn't want to cover them up." He kept staring into her eyes and Lizzie's heart stopped.
All she could manage in response was a squeaky, "Oh?"
"Yeah," he said, stepping closer and brushing a finger along her sleeve. "I've always been sort of curious about you. I find you very attractive."
She was dead. She had failed the test and Damion had banished her to some weird limbo where she and Fred were having some sort of sexually charged conversation. That was the only explanation she had!
"Erm, you did? I mean- You do?" she stammered.
Fred brought his face close to hers and paused a second, until his features contorted into his usual snotty expression, topped with a laugh. "Hahaha! Oh, look at you! I really had you going, didn't I?" He lunged for the buttons of his jacket, trying to take back what belonged to him. "Give me that before I catch cold!"
Stunned, Lizzie didn't protest as Fred forcefully removed the jacket from her shoulders and put it back on. Did that really just happen? Did we just flirt with each other?!
Through her daze Lizzie noticed that his ever-present yellow shirt had returned, hiding his naked chest from view as the cool air made her painfully aware that she was once more sans covering with a soaked shirt. A feeling that tasted vaguely like hysteria licked the edges of her brain.
What's a few nipples between friends?
Turning around and closing her eyes, Lizzie concentrated on imagining dry clothes for herself and a very sturdy bra. The tingle of her magic ran all over her body and she was pleased to discover that it had worked. Now shielded, of sorts, she whirled back on Fred, sticking her tongue out at him in the most juvenile way possible. He had a way of bringing that out in her. Maybe they needed to get back to her training and forget about all this weirdness that just happened.
Holding her hand out, she grinned at him, and declared, "'Kay, we're even now."
Fred smiled, but adjusted his jacket to his liking, before taking Lizzie's hand. "Fair enough," he said, shaking on it. "Nice job on the shirt there. I can see this is gonna be a lot of fun. Think of all the things we'll smash together once I teach you all the tricks." He let go of her hand and tried not to think too much on what had just happened between them. Just a joke that got out of hand, he told himself. He'd always loved teasing her senseless. Still, he wanted to grin at the flustered look she'd had upon seeing his chest.
"Okay, so now what?" she asked, putting her hands behind her back.
"Hmm. Well, I'm not gonna start you off tonight with transporting or changing shape and size. That can get rather... tricky. Erm, but there are a few things I guess you should know about being an imaginary friend." Fred took a seat on one of the steps and patted the empty spot beside him. Lizzie took a seat.
Admittedly, she was rather curious to know 'the rules' and everything. "Like what? I'm pretty sure I have watched you do just about everything under the sun, so I can't imagine that you have many restrictions."
"Well, there you'd be wrong," he said. "There are some rules. We're not complete maniacs." Fred sniggered. "First of all, you can never, ever, EVER let a grown up know you're real. Er... well grown up who isn't your charge," he added after realizing who he was talking to. "Sorry, you're the first adult to have one of us, so old habit."
Lizzie scrunched her face. "I kinda figured that. What are the other rules?"
"When your friend needs you, you always have to be there, but sometimes it's better to let them try and figure things out themselves. It's really easy, see, 'cuz you'll get this link that tells you when to intervene. Sort of like a tether getting yanked." Fred tried to figure out if he could fudge this explanation, since he didn't want Lizzie to be able to link with him that way. It left him conflicted, but so far she hadn't seemed to have had any signs of experiencing that. The link was always automatic and usually began quickly after connecting with a new charge. He wondered if somehow it was wonky given that he was also an imaginary friend.
"You'll also get to sense your charge's emotions to help you figure out the best way to help them," he finally added. "You can't control it, either. They just sort of become a part of you."
Lizzie blinked. So he had been at her beck and call that whole time? Closer to her than she ever knew? Does that mean I became a part of him? "Wow, that's... that's pretty amazing, actually. I had no idea that you put so much of yourself into being my friend," she admitted. "Did you... What I mean is... Did you get any say? On whether or not you were my friend? I mean, what if you hated me as a kid? Could you have opted out and gone to a different child?"
"Hated you?" his voice hitched at that ridiculous statement and he looked as if he'd just been poisoned. "Snotface, I never hated you, or any child I've helped for that matter. And no, you're stuck with who you get, but that's okay because we're never sent to any kid who wouldn't match up with us anyway. Somehow the magic knows who works for us. Though, we do get a say in accepting before we take 'em on. I did with you... and I was scared shitless to go to you. I actually worried you wouldn't like me, especially since you were my first friend."
This revelation made Lizzie ridiculously happy and she couldn't help the sheepish grin she gave Fred as she bumped her shoulder against his. "Naw, I think I would have chosen you, too, even if it was the other way around," she told him sweetly, bringing him to smile at her. "So, how do you know when your time with a child is through?"
Fred wrung his hands as he thought of how best to explain it. "You'll feel the tether break. Everything just sort of goes quiet. Like you're all alone again." He shuddered a little, as he hated the memory of that empty feeling when he had to leave them. "Then you only have so long before your magic can't reach them and they can't see you anymore." His eyes met with Lizzie's and he placed a hand on her knee. "That's why I couldn't go back with you."
"Oh, well... that sounds... kinda awful, actually." Lizzie frowned before covering Fred's hand with her own. They didn't have to be apart anymore and she wanted him to know she was grateful for that. "So how do you get your next assignment, then? Do you get sent back to the weirdos six and get told where to go? That seems kind of... I don't know... unkind. I mean, if you're just barely leaving a child that you've established a bond with and then you're expected to immediately start a new one... seems like that doesn't take your feelings into account very much, does it?" She knew this topic would bring some wounds of its own, after all their own goodbye had been such a short time ago, but she kept discovering that she owed Fred a lot more than she had ever imagined.
He had taken the charge of her happiness when he himself had been new to the concept. He had watched over her, been her confidant, and even returned for her when she had been ready to let others get the final say in her life. And only now she learned just how deep the idea of friendship meant to him and it left her in awe. Lizzie swore right then that if everything turned out okay - and it would - that she would spend the rest of her own little eternity being the best friend he could possibly have.
Fred winced at the questions. He wasn't sure he wanted to get into any of this. Feelings were never his strong suit, but he knew Lizzie. He knew how abandoned she'd always been for affection, for honesty, and after today he knew even without his magic what she needed right now was for him to give her some small piece of himself. Guess I never really stopped being her imaginary friend...
Staring at their touching hands, he decided she needed to hear it so she knew she still belonged somewhere. God, I'm being such a girl, aren't I?
"I've gotta admit," he started, "it does hurt... for the moment, but then you move on to the next child, and the bond with them usually fills in all the holes, and you forget." Fred made sure to look at her now. "But not always," he spoke softly, a gentle and bittersweet look on his face. "Some friends you never forget." That was as close as Fred could get to telling her how special she was to him, how much it had destroyed him with guilt the first time he'd had to say goodbye. Hell, that hadn't even been a goodbye, and their second parting hadn't felt much better. Something had just felt unfinished.
Squeezing her knee, Fred bumped his shoulder back against hers and smiled. "And yes, then you're sent back to those bastards and you get new assignments to pick from. There's always more of 'em than us." His thumb absently stroked Lizzie's knee, his thoughts drifting ahead to the remaining information he needed to go over.
Lizzie felt a sinking feeling deep in the pit of her stomach. "Did it hurt you? To leave me, I mean?" she whispered hesitantly. It seemed that every time she thought she knew the score, she found that she had wronged him or caused him even more pain than she had previously imagined.
"Yes," he said, quietly. "It did, probably about as much as it did you." He kept his eyes on the ground, not sure how he'd actually admitted that so readily.
Unable to help herself, Lizzie threw her arms around her friend and squeezed him as hard as she could. "I didn't want to leave you, you have to believe me. I know it's my fault that we got separated, and I am SO SORRY that I couldn't stand up to her, that I didn't fight hard enough to keep you. A little bit inside of me died every day that you were gone. I missed you so much! I'm so sorry, Fred!"
A soft whimper escaped him before he could stop it, and Fred coiled his arms back around her tight. "I missed you, too, Snotface. And I'm sorry I didn't come back before you'd grown up. I really wanted to, but he wouldn't let me. I tried, I begged, I pleaded. I did everything I could, but all I could get was the deal that if you reopened that stupid box..." He choked, too overwhelmed to say any more, all his pain just seemed to be tumbling out of him before he could breathe.
Tears rolled down Lizzie's face and absorbed into the fabric of Fred's jacket. She tried to tighten her hold on him, to try and take some of his pain into herself. She deserved it. She had done this to him, to them. "Ssshhhh," she soothed, giving him a quick heartfelt kiss on his cheek. "I know you did everything you could, I do. I was lucky to have ever had you in the first place, let alone to have you come back. Besides," she said, attempting to lighten the conversation, "I'm not so sure that you being able to intervene on the rest of my formative years would have improved my chances any. I think we can both agree that I was pretty lousy at being an adult."
Lizzie paused. She didn't want this to come out wrong. "You know what? Even though things are crazy and I pretty much died I- I think I might actually end up being happier here with you than I could have been anywhere else. You're the most important person in my life, Fred. Always have been. Wherever you are, I want to be there too if you'll keep me as a friend."
Fred squeezed her harder for a moment like it would let him keep every word she'd just confessed. "I wouldn't have asked for you if I didn't intend to have you around," he said, pulling out of the hug and placing his hand back on her knee. Lizzie grinned and rested hers once more on top, and Fred experienced a bitter sweetness about everything. "Your mother was awful, and it wasn't your fault I couldn't come back, though I'm a little glad you were so piss poor at being an adult or we wouldn't be having this conversation." He smiled and sighed.
Fred knew why Damion picked the people he did for imaginary friends, a reason he certainly wouldn't get into with Lizzie for fear of breaking her spirit... She wasn't the ideal in that nutter's gourd, but she certainly didn't fit in the adult world either. He'd tried rounding out her edges and smashing her into fitting as best she could, but he had known she was different. He'd felt it. All his help had seemed like a Band-Aid.
Maybe that's my fault in a way? He sighed again. The night he'd popped out of the Jack-in-the-box and greeted her, he remembered very distinctly how she'd reveled in the mention of games with him, although he'd also very clearly felt horror and anger. There had certainly been a tumult of conflict within her. Fred had known, though, that it was simply her fighting herself; furious at herself for not being the cookie cutter grown up she felt pushed to be and mad at him for being so late to return. At least he'd finally told her how he'd always wanted to come back, perhaps if only to make up for it a little.
However, Lizzie's confession about being happier like this, here with him, made Fred swell with joy. While he wanted to tell her he felt the same, after all the jumbles of emotions, all that came out was, "Sorry you died, but at least now the fun starts." Wow, I think I just actually disappointed myself, he thought, reaching up to scratch his head with his free hand.
"Erm... thanks. Well, it's not much fun by yourself, so it's a good thing I have you." A concerning thought occurred to her. "I am going to get to still see you after training, aren't I? Damion isn't going to send me to someone in Timbuktu just to be an ass, is he?" A real tremor of panic crept into her voice. After all of this she didn't think she could bear it if Fred wasn't with her.
Instantly Fred's arm wrapped around her, pulling her against him. "No. Come 'ere. If that bastard tries it, let him. Nothing can separate us, Snotface. You're made of magic now. Did you forget you and I can always find each other?" He stroked the side of her head, amazed to see her so broken up about him. "IFs get friends, you know. You've put me in a right state this night, so if you think I'm ever going away, then you're completely potty."
Lizzie rested her forehead against Fred's. "Good. Because you're stuck with me. You only get one get out jail free card and you already used yours up. So... is there anything else I need to know so I don't screw this up?"
"Umm... A couple, at least." One of them he didn't want to bring up, but he knew if he didn't it could possibly one day endanger Lizzie's newfound life.
Gently, he let his hand slip from her head down to her shoulder where he gave it a light squeeze. He hated heavy, adult conversations. Until tonight he didn't think he'd ever had so many, even when he was still a human.
I'd better make this quick so I can get back to cheering her up before Fishface and Fartpants get back.
"There's something you need to know about. Something really important, Lizzie." He pulled his head back from hers enough to look her in the eyes.
Uneasiness filled her. He was never this serious unless it was something bad. "Okay, what is it?"
"We're not invincible. There's... There's something that can hurt us. Um..." His words didn't seem to want to come out the way he wanted. "We attach to children through magic, and... well, we don't exist here, so the, uh..." Damn, this is harder than I imagined. "The life force of the child is what keeps us in it, and if, if that gets severed... we, we die." Fred couldn't bring himself to say any more. He didn't want to mention the pills, to make her feel responsible. He just tightened his hold around her so maybe she'd know he wasn't upset with her.
Lizzie felt physically ill. There was a knot in her stomach, rushing upwards, and she was going to be sick, imaginary friend or not.
I hurt him. I damn near killed my best friend... all so that I could try and make myself into something that other people wanted! Oh god, who does that? It hadn't ever occurred to her; she hadn't even thought it through - not then or now - the implications of what she had really been doing whenever she'd swallowed those fucking green pills! She had been slowly killing him with every gulp and she hadn't cared! A wet splash hit their joined hands and Lizzie realized she had begun crying.
With a sob she wrenched her hand from his and turned away from him. She couldn't bear to touch him or look him in the face, not after what she had done to him! How could he still stand to be near her after what she did?
"They told me..." It took every effort to calm her breathing enough to speak, every breath catching when it reached her throat, and she thought she might choke around her words. But she had to get this out. "They told me that the pills would fix the part of my brain that was having trouble, that they would fix me. I guess that... I thought that meant if it worked, then it was me all along. And that you weren't really real... I am so sorry! I just wanted to be fixed! To finally be good enough, and I didn't care how that happened and I HURT you and I am so- so-"
By this point she couldn't talk anymore as her huge sobs wracked her frame. She was a despicable person and an even worse friend, and she could never make it up to the one person who had ever really mattered. Who had thought that she mattered.
An agonizing thought occurred to her. "Why didn't you leave?" she whispered. It seemed insane to her that he would have stuck around the way he did. She had been down to the very last pill, if he hadn't convinced her to look in on Charles, he probably wouldn't be here now...
"Why didn't you go?" she repeated. "Left me and found another child? Someone who would have deserved to have you as their friend and didn't try to kill you?"
"Because... Because I couldn't. You needed me." Aching, Fred pulled her against him with both arms, her back pressing to him. "You... I couldn't go until you didn't anymore... and..." He could feel her shaking in his arms and once again he felt torn apart. He just wanted to take every last painful memory she had away, to go back and fix all of this, back to the day he'd gotten into that damned Jack-in-the-box. Then maybe she wouldn't have needed Charles. She would have been happier, had herself, and never ended up in this whole oozing tragedy. Then she wouldn't be in his arms right now blaming herself...
"Snotface, don't. Stop this, please. You didn't try to kill me, okay? How could you know? You didn't, and so that's not what it was." He rocked her in his arms. "You didn't know."
Lizzie turned and buried her face in his chest and held him for all she was worth. She was probably soaking his shirt with her tears, but she couldn't seem to stop crying. Just one more thing I've done wrong... she thought. Still, she had to stop being hysterical for a moment. She owed him that. It hurt to look up into his face and see the concern for her wellbeing there. He was always worried about her, trying to make sure she was okay.
"What about you?" she asked. "Are you okay now? Did those pills do any permanent damage to you?" Using her hands she suddenly felt the need to check him over and make sure that he was alright. She hadn't noticed him acting poorly, had she? Guilt spurred her to run her hands over his chest and feel his heartbeat, to make sure that it was still beating strong and healthy. "Can you ever forgive me?" she whispered into his chest because she didn't think she could forgive herself.
Fred's heart beat faster at her touch and before he knew it he'd wrapped his arms so tight around her he couldn't feel where he ended and she began. "I'm fine, Snotface. There's nothing wrong with me that wasn't already there." He brought his chin to lay atop her head and closed his eyes. I can't leave her taking it this way. Fred exhaled, hoping it would rid him of the crushing emotion in his chest. "Look at me," he whispered, lifting his head from hers.
Lizzie tilted her head, but kept her eyes down. She was too ashamed of herself to look him in the eye.
"There's nothing to forgive. You... you didn't-" He struggled to deal with the subject, but it became too much for him. "Hey, it's my fault, okay? I didn't tell you what was happening-"
Fred's shirt crumpled under the curl of Lizzie's fingers. "That was NOT your fault! I made the decision to listen to Charles and my mother. I let them manipulate me! NOT YOU! Don't you dare try and take the blame for this, for once it was all MY fault!" Anger had finally given her the strength to look Fred in the eye as she tried to get her point across. She had already caused him so much pain when all he had ever done was try and help her, she wasn't about to let him feel bad for it too; this was all on her.
"Well, it's not YOUR fault!" he snapped back. "I was the bastard keeping it to myself, so if I want to take it, I will!" His tone started to get that usual snottiness of his.
With Fred's snark beginning to show, Lizzie knew that he wouldn't let it go. Besides, she was tired of fighting. She could agree with him even if she didn't really mean it. Taking a big breath she released the death grip that she had on his shirt and smoothed out the creases. "Alright, then it's both our faults. So we will just agree that we're both sorry and move on. Friends 'til the end, right?" she asked, hopefully.
Her gentle hands broke Fred's growing frenzy. He'd had a whole rant at the ready, but she'd effectively shattered it and now he didn't know what to do. "Well... if you're gonna be so stubborn about it, like a girl, then I guess," he said with a huff, but Fred's gentler eyes locked with hers. "I forgive you." Leaning in, he kissed her at the corner just next to her mouth, a short peck, briefer than the one he'd given at their goodbye. "Now can we move on?"
Lizzie gave one last sniff before forcing herself to get it under control. The skin next to her mouth tingled where Fred had kissed her. "Alright. Just... please tell me that was the worst thing you had to tell me? I'm not sure I can take any more bad information." Tense, she sat back out of his arms and waited to see if he had anything else to share.
"Well, you've already seen Enzo in his stockings, so yeah, that's it." Fred scratched his chest where Lizzie had been nestled and started to count on his fingers, ticking off all the things he had left to cover.
"Right... so there's not much left. Rule number four, NEVER acknowledge Cale on a Wednesday. Just don't it." He shook his head. "You'll regret yourself if you do."
Lizzie opened her mouth to ask why, but then thought better of it. She probably didn't want to know. "Okay, got it. I don't think it will be that hard to avoid him or any of them on Wednesdays, or any day for that matter."
Fred laughed. "So that's basically it. Have fun, put your charges first, get crazy stupid, and break wind in your wake!" Enthusiasm carried him to sway with his words. "Just be yourself, Snotface." Picking his nose, he flicked the piece of snot at Lizzie and grinned.
A snort escaped Lizzie's mouth. "Right! I promise to do... most of that!" Dutifully she picked her own nose and wiped it on Fred's sleeve before offering up her pinky finger in silent promise. Fred took it and smirked in satisfaction.
"You'll do just great, Snotface. Anything else you'd like to ask? Feels like Nat's gonna be here before long."
"Just one or two things. Like, do we ever need to actually sleep? I know you liked to do the whole bat thing, but do we actually need it? And if we don't, can we anyways if we want to? I can't imagine going forever without at least a temporary break. Oh, and what about eating? Please tell me we can eat if we want to because I think I might die a little if you tell me I can never really have chocolate again!" she finished, anxiously. Now that she had started questions were popping into her mind and out of her mouth a mile a minute.
Amused, Fred magicked a candy bar he remembered being Lizzie's favorite right into her hand. "We can eat. Just nothing from this world." His eyes motioned at the room. "But you can make anything you like and have as much as you want. You'll never gain an ounce. And I mean you can really eat anything!" Fred made a tennis ball appear in his hand, opened his mouth, and shoved it in. His jaw stretched unnaturally to accommodate the size and he swallowed it with a grimace, a bulge appearing as it slid down his throat like he were a cartoon.
After it vanished, Fred opened his mouth for her look. "See! Magic's great." Fred belched and lightly beat his chest with his fist. "Although, I can't say it tastes very well when it's nonfood." He laughed. "But sleeping! Yeah, we can if we absolutely want to. I don't. I find it's trouble most of the time. Plus, we don't need it and we don't get tired. Not physically, anyway."
A childlike squeal escaped Lizzie at the sight of the candy bar. With relish she bit into the chocolaty confection and moaned in delight. "Oh, thank god! Or is it gods?" she wondered out loud. Either way she didn't care because the afterlife just got a whole lot better. She wasn't dead, she had Fred, and a never-ending supply of chocolate!
Licking the bits that had melted on her fingers, she smiled at him. "I take back everything I ever said." Lick. "You are..." Lick. "...seriously..." Another Lick. "...my favorite person ever right now!" Finally she found the last little bit and quickly scooped it up with her tongue. "Maybe I should just name you the new god and worship you instead," she teased. "You seem to give better favors than they do!"
The whole while Fred just watched her, brimming with amusement and joy at seeing this rarely seen side to Lizzie, but that joy took a turn. Slowly Fred became hypnotized by the way her tongue lapped up every last drop of chocolate, so very, very thoroughly. All thoughts abandoned him in that moment and all he knew was a faint tension stirring inside him, until Lizzie's final comments. Immediately his mind snapped to an image of Lizzie on her knees giving him a very specific favor, and Fred leapt up from the stairs so fast he tripped and fell flat on the floor.
"Oh my god! Are you okay, Fred?" Lizzie cried.
Red-faced, Fred bolted upright. "I'm fine!" he said way too loud, his body coursing with what felt like explosive amounts of energy. What was he doing? "I was..." Fred's mind was utterly blank with an excuse and all he could think was, Shit, shit, fucking shit.
Lizzie winced with uncertainty at his response. I wonder if he finally took one too many to the head?
Hopping off of her stoop, Lizzie offered him her hand. "Well, now isn't the time for sleep, so get up, lazy butt." She grinned. When he didn't make a move she let out in a singsong voice, "Freeeed, all the other gods are watchiiiiiing."
His hand shot out for hers at last, letting her help him back up. I hope not, he thought. "I'm not going to bed with you," he said rather quick. "It's not time for bed, I mean. We've... Do you want another chocolate?" he asked before he could help himself.
Lizzie stared at her friend in consideration for a very long moment before she answered, "Hmm, maybe later." She couldn't help it; she loved teasing him! It was fun to get the upper hand sometimes, especially when their previously running scorecard read: Lizzie 2; Fred 1,000,000,000,000.
"Damn," said Fred, only to mentally slap himself for it. Had he really just said that aloud? He decided no more candy for a while. A LONG while. "So, any- anymore questions... Snotface?" He straightened his suit and hoped the use of her childhood nickname would reel him back in.
Lizzie decided she really needed to find a snarky nickname for him soon. "Nope, I think that about covers it for now. Just to be sure, though, there aren't any deranged loopholes that I'm supposed to know about, is there? Like never cross the street dressed like a chicken while eating ice cream on Tuesdays?"
Fred laughed, his tensions slipping away at the change of subject. "Not since Manic Mondays and Drastic Thursdays," he said.
Lizzie rolled her eyes. "I can only imagine. I can see why you would want to spend all of your time with kids after meeting your so-called 'superiors,' but they did technically give me a job so I guess I should thank my lucky stars that they're all a few fries short of a Happy Meal."
"You know I never had one of those," said Fred.
Lizzie smiled, but a sober thought suddenly crossed her mind and she felt her nerves return. "So when do we go see Natalie?"
Shrugging, Fred said, "I suppose as soon as she gets here, and after her dad's tucked her in. That's when she usually needs me this time of night. We should probably pop into the guest room for now 'til then. I can tell she needs her dad for a bit and I should stay out of sight."
The mention of Mickey brought a pang of guilt to Lizzie's heart. She had been so wrapped up in everything that she hadn't even spared a thought to her other childhood friend. "Was he... I mean- Did he seem really upset?" she asked Fred, sure that he would have seen him at the hospital and was therefore the only one who could prepare her for what she should expect when the Bunce's finally came home.
"He told your mother what a bitch she is." Fred figured that was happiest highlight of the whole afternoon, and so he'd just lead with that. "I was actually proud."
Lizzie nodded. She wanted to continue, to ask how upset he had been, but for some reason it felt inappropriate to ask that kind of information from Fred. Besides, she would find out soon enough the kind of damage she had left behind. She knew that everything between them had still been very new, and she wasn't sure if they could have really called what they had a relationship yet, but it had been something.
Now it will never be anything...
Lizzie expected that kind of dark thought to bring with it a deep stab of pain, the kind you feel when you've lost something important – but she didn't. Oh, there was worry that she had caused her poor friend and his sweet daughter any kind of lasting trauma, and a sort of ache around the idea of what they could have been, but Lizzie was rather surprised to find that it wasn't as bad as she thought it should be.
Maybe I'm still in shock, she thought, but looking at her friend – her best friend – she knew that wasn't really it. She had felt greater losses before.
"Well, I'm glad that he could finally earn points in your favor," she said. "I can only imagine how bad Mother was, especially if it was enough to get Mickey angry. He's usually very calm and mellow."
And boring... Now where had that thought come from?!
"Oh, it's a lovely tale!" said Fred with excitement. "Would you like to hear it?" His arms swung out in dramatic fashion. Something about retelling how Polly Cronin had finally gone insane and brought the violent streak out in Mickey Fartpants was just too juicy not to tell. "The Megabitch was high on her hell horse, spewing fire that she was gonna sue him because since his car was in the driveway, you had to park across the street! Oh, the whole hospital hated her! Fartpants finally told her to go park across the street at his house and maybe we'd all get lucky." Fred smirked.
"He DIDN'T?!" Lizzie gasped behind her hands, shocked that Mickey would have the guts to say something like that to her mother!
"Oh, he did, Snotface. I watched the whole thing happen. It was GREAT!" His eyes flashed with the long-held passion of sticking it to the Megabitch.
"Oh wow... I'll bet she was sooo mad! I kinda wish I could've been there. Or you know, been awake to see it," she said, wistfully.
Fred's joy receded a bit at the reminder of Lizzie's state during that time, but he made sure not to let his smile falter. The last thing he wanted was to bring her spirits back down when she finally looked, well in the mood she should. "Maybe you'll get a chance. It's your mother. There's bound to be a sequel in the works."
A slightly manic giggle escaped her. "Really?" Struggling to fix the squeak in her voice, she coughed and tried again. "I mean, so you really think I could? Get back at her, I mean? That really was such an awful way to treat Mickey, and then to threaten to sue him on top of that... That's not right!" She had worked herself into a fit of righteous indignation over imagining her mother's treatment of those around her. Even in the wake of her impending death she couldn't find a tiny bit of human decency within her shriveled heart.
"Ooh, it's not fair!" She growled. "She always tramples all over EVERYONE and never cares about what she does to people. She's such a... such a..."
"Megabitch?" Fred finished.
Lizzie pointed at him with wide-eyed fury. "YES! THAT!" Suddenly she began pacing as her thoughts turned over and over in manic frustration. "This has to stop, Fred. People like her shouldn't be allowed to get away with treating others like this! Someone has to stop her!"
The sight of Lizzie's frenzy had Fred hanging on every word. Every utterance was like his life's work finally coming to fruition, and the idea sent him into a high of his own. "YES! That's it! We'll show her! Let's show her what the bitch deserves. Let's tie her to the train tracks! Put her in an oven! Throw her in a well and see if she floats! Or! Oh, shave her head while she's asleep and then glue it on all over her face so she looks like a goat man! Make her regret every way she ever treated you! Let's haunt the shit outta her!"
Lizzie shook her head. "We can't hurt her, Fred. Plus, if we haunt her with petty pranks it's not going to accomplish anything. I want her to do more than pay, I want her to learn. She's so concerned about her own image. We need to ruin that image."
"Oh yes! Let's scar her instead. Brilliant!" Fred paced, buzzing that his friend was finally on board with him to get back at the Megabitch. No adult protests, no sensible chatter, just pure-
He stopped, suddenly knocked from his high by the realization of just how uncharacteristic this was for Lizzie, or how unlike her a lot of the moments since coming into the house had been, and then it hit him why... and he grinned SO big.
Pointing at Lizzie, he shouted, "Hey! I know what's happening to you! You're entirely magic manic! Hahahaha! This is great!" His nose crinkled in delight like an animal and he grabbed Lizzie by the shoulders. "This is gonna be FUN!" he said. "You and me, smashing things to bits!" He chortled like a crazy imp, squeezing her shoulders as he erupted with giddiness.
Fred's flurry of excitement only seemed to confuse Lizzie. "What do you mean I'm 'magic manic'? What is that, some kind of imaginary mental disease? Am I going insane?" Her eyes widened considerably. "Oh god. I am, aren't I? I've already lost it!"
Fred couldn't entirely hold back his laugh. "You're not diseased! It's a side effect of the magic. We get a little loopy off it."
Her eyes now felt like they were going to bulge right out of her skull! "YOU MEAN I'M HIGH?!" she shrieked.
Fred playfully held up three fingers, wanting to burst. "That depends... Can you tell me how many fingers I'm holding up?"
"Well, THAT depends," she said, sarcastically. "You might want to subtract one or two because I'm going to break them! I didn't sign up to be a MAGIC JUNKIE, FRED!"
"Oh, I'm sorry! I only saved your life! Didn't know it would bother you SO much!" he shouted, dripping with sarcasm. "Look, it's not permanent! It comes and goes. Haven't you noticed that with me?"
Lizzie raked her fingernails through her hair. "I just thought you were INSANE! I didn't realize that you were actually hopping on magic juice!"
"Of course I'm insane, but not THAT insane - or I wasn't before this!" he cried, motioning around them. Fred suddenly realized that maybe this part of being an imaginary friend might be difficult for Lizzie after all, and he felt anxiety grip him at Damion's stupid warnings.
"So what you're saying is this: I'm going to become a crazy imaginary maniac whether I like it or not if I want to survive. Oh god! I can't believe I'm going to say this, but-" She choked. "I need to break something!" Standing still and taking a very deep breath through her nose, Lizzie attempted to calm the erratic energy coursing through her. "Fred, I apologize for calling you insane. Now can I please have something to smash?"
He grinned, the feeling radiating off Lizzie was catching. "What's the magic words?" he teased.
"Fuck off?" she asked sweetly through gritted teeth.
Fred's eyes went wide. Fucking hell! I think I feel a bit turned on by that.
Immediately he slapped his own face and wriggled his fingers with eager anticipation. "Oh, I can see you're gonna be loads of fun!" At Lizzie's request he magicked six porcelain dolls, each in resemblance to one of the bastards of the Other Otherworld. "Smash away, Snotface." He laughed, bouncing on his heels.
An unholy glee took ahold of Lizzie at the thought of being able to absolutely destroy the personifications of those immortal lunatics. It suddenly felt like Christmas, her birthday, and every holiday in between had been rolled up into one exquisite present. Unable to look away, she gestured frantically at Fred with her hands. "Quick, give me something to hit them with! Please!"
"Boy, you're ready to pop, aren't you?" he quipped, making a mallet appear in her hands.
Fred barely had time to finish that sentence, because the moment that Lizzie felt the weight of the mallet in her hands she let out a loud cry and swung straight for the first doll.
"AAAARRRRGGHH!" The inanimate object made a most satisfying sound as it shattered into jagged pieces all over the ground. Barely giving a second, Lizzie immediately swung for the next, aiming her blunt tool right at the face. Again the sharp crack of broken porcelain played like music in her ears. The almost unbearable tension in her body seemed to ease into a euphoric giddiness and for the first time she reveled in it.
An unknowing grin split her face from ear to ear as she descended upon the remaining gods in a righteous wrath until there was only the Damion doll left alive. Unbidden, the memory of her time in the coffin flashed through her mind, accompanied by Damion's smug voice saying, This might be my new favorite...
She made sure there was nothing left of him.
Heaving, Lizzie was surprised to find herself out of breath, and turned back to find Fred with wide eyes.
"That looked like it felt great!" Fred sneered, his heart beating with the intensity of a wildfire. He'd never seen Lizzie do ANYTHING like this before, and he was both awed and afraid of the sight. And he liked it. "Bet you feel better now, hmm?" He tilted his head, chewing his bottom lip as he slinked beside her.
Lizzie leaned against the handle of the mallet, observing her handiwork. "You know what? I think I really do," she admitted, surprised. "That crazy energy stuff kinda felt, well, crazy. What happens if you don't let it out? Do you always have to destroy something to get rid of it? I mean, don't get me wrong, smashing those guys in the face was a million times better than any therapy I've ever been to, but there can't always be porcelain gods to destroy, can there?"
"So long as it gets out, doesn't matter what you do with it. The magic needs to play. If you don't use it, it sort of..." He made a face accompanied with a crazy chortle, before his more serious demeanor returned. "So I wouldn't try to hold it in, unless you REALLY wanna to go insane, and if you do, please let me watch! Oh, and not to mention the fits are also fueled by mood changes, or if another IF gets into a state, so if you get rather excited over something, or I do, look out because we'll both end up hopping. They made it that way on purpose. Keeps us playful, though I'm sure that's not the whole of it knowing those lot of fruit loops." He sighed. "This is why only certain people can do the job... So... are you... feeling okay, Snotface?" he asked, his brow creasing with worry.
Was she? Fred's concern sobered her up a bit and Lizzie tried to take serious stock of her emotions. Honestly, she felt fine. A little winded, but otherwise she felt great! She would just have to make sure to keep a careful eye on her energy levels in the future. She didn't want to accidentally end up scaring anyone, or even worse, hurting them. "Yeah," Lizzie admitted. "I think I really am. Thank you for doing that, by the way. It was brilliant!" she praised.
Fred breathed a sigh of relief at hearing that. If Lizzie was good, then that meant Damion was wrong. I knew she wasn't normal. "Any time, Snotface. Just say the words and I'll give you the world to smash. Guess I should've mentioned all that earlier, huh?" He grimaced, sheepishly.
Lizzie's heart melted a little. "Aww, Fred, I'm pretty sure you've already given me the world. You've given me yours. Besides, you've been the best friend and the best teacher anyone could have asked for. Thank you for putting up with me. I promise I will make it up to you someday."
Fred smiled, almost bashfully at the compliment from Lizzie. "So... you're not cross anymore about my getting you blitzed on imaginary magic juice?"
She reached out and grabbed Fred's hand. "Don't worry, I only want to break one of your fingers now!" Messing with him, Lizzie gave Fred her biggest smile and his fingers a gentle squeeze.
Fred couldn't help himself. Suddenly, he screamed, jerking his arm back. "Oh god, what have you done to me!?" he bellowed. In Lizzie's hand was his hand, still holding onto hers. "I'll never play the piano! I'll need a hook! Oh god! How will I wank again? Or get a taxi?" In a frenzy, he ran around her, waving his arm high above his head.
A very girly shriek escaped Lizzie before she could help herself and she dropped the offending appendage like it was on fire. "Gah! Oh god, Fred!" As soon as she realized that the hand on the ground wasn't moving her horror turned to laughter. "That scared the crap outta me!" She wiped her hands on her shirt, making a face. "Hey, if that's how you spend your free time you better be washing your hands when we play together, mister!"
The hand on the ground vanished and reappeared in a spark back where it belonged. Fred laughed, tingling from his prank. "Got you good, didn't I?" He shoved his hands into his pockets and thrust his hips out in victory, biting his lower lip.
Of their own accord Lizzie's eyes strayed to Fred's groin when he did his signature Fred move.
Did he really mean it about the wanking? she wondered. The idea seemed vaguely ridiculous. What reason would an imaginary friend even need for that in this life anyways? No, this was just Fred being Fred, and her being enough of a morbidly curious pervert that made her wonder if he was actually telling the truth or not.
But what if he could actually feel attraction? And if he doesn't, does that mean I will stop too?
An image of Fred with no shirt blew that theory out of the water and Lizzie felt herself choke a little. That kind of thinking led to very dangerous territory and Lizzie shook herself before it could go any further. Slightly embarrassed for her train of thought she tried to play it off. "Yeah! Boy, you really scared me! Guess it's gonna be a while before I can compete with you, huh?"
"Of course it is! But I'd loooooove to see you try!" With a wave of his hand, Fred made the smashed dolls disappear. "So got any more questions, concerns, devious plots?" He tried to remember if there was anything else he should tell, or warn her about with being an imaginary friend, but with everything going on it was hard to keep track of the details.
Unfortunately she did have one. "What are you going to tell Natalie when she gets home?" she asked hesitantly.
"Umm..." Fred's expression fell. "Hadn't really thought of that one yet. Nat's a bit upset with me. I can still feel it. So, I don't know. Make it up to her? I'm forbidden from telling her the truth about what happened..." Pain hung over his face at the memory of the hospital and every bleeding moment of worry, followed by his mistake with Natalie. Making promises he couldn't keep. It felt like his mistake with Lizzie all over again from the day he'd first gotten taken away from her. Could he ever not fuck something up on an epic scale?
"Hey, it's going to be okay. I promise." Lizzie placed her hands on Fred's face and forced him to look at her. She hated that he felt the burden of failure so acutely when it wasn't even his fault to begin with. "Look, you're not alone anymore, you've got me to help you now and as you so love to point out, I am such a girl... so I'm sure we can think of something to make it up to her," she said with confidence.
Dropping her hands she got down to business. "Now, you know Natalie better than just about anyone. What are her favorite things? I know that one thing that always took my mind off of being sad and lonely was a great, big party. With so many people, it was harder to feel alone, you know? Do you think Natalie might like something like that, maybe? Like a surprise party just for her?"
By the end of her suggestion her confidence wavered. She didn't really know what to do in the case of cheering up a small child. The only experience she had to go from was her own.
Well then, maybe that makes you more qualified than you think... Come on, you've got to help Fred!
"She'd love it!" he answered. "She's got a whole collection of teddies and dolls. We could have a big party with them! But we'll have to make sure that Mickey Fartpants doesn't come snooping in with his big girly nose."
Fred's enthusiasm at her idea resurged Lizzie's confidence. "Great! We can magic some really cool outfits out of her clothes and she can play dress up! Every little girl loooovvves dress up!" She clapped her hands together, giddy at the thought of getting to play such a fun game for the little girl.
"This is what I get for always choosing girls for friends, isn't it?" he said, but his wry smirk gave away that he wasn't entirely in protest about that.
Lizzie just grinned like a madwoman and looped her arm through Fred's so she could steer him towards the stairs and the guest bedroom. "Let's hurry! I've got to practice my outfits before Natalie gets home. What's her favorite color? Do you think we could make jewelry to go with her clothes? And how about the teddies? Can we give them all funny voices and make them talk? Oh! And tea! We absolutely must have tea!"
The sound of a car pulling into the driveway announced that the Bunce's were home, and Fred did all he could to keep up with Lizzie's party planning without his head literally spinning on him.
"Oh my god! They're already here!" she shouted. "Come on, hurry! I've got an idea!" she cried and bodily dragged him up the stairs and into the guestroom.
Fred let the thrill of the unknown rush through him until he was sharing his best friend's grin. Together he and his snotface would make this the best party Natalie had ever had.
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