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Reunion	By : rvanv Category: 1 through F > Brokeback Mountain Views: 1695 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own "Brokeback Mountain." Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar and their families are the creation of Annie Proulx and remain her property. This story has no commercial purpose whatsoever, and I intend no infringement of her copyright.

Chapter List
- 7
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- 9
(Saturday evening, Siesta Motel)
�Things seem kind a up in the air ��
Yep, good ol� Ennis � always worryin� � bout things, always needin� ta learn stuff, know what he�s gettin� into, Jack thinks. Fuck me for forgettin� I got ta take my time with that boy. �Yesterday at the camp, when Ennis had said no two ways about it, the ranch wasn�t goin� ta happen, well, that was like a slap in the face to Jack. And he took it because he knew he deserved it � had gotten so goddamned wrapped up in his own romantic plans for the two of them living together that he had forgotten half the equation: Ennis Del Mar. Jack had thrown it out there like a done deal, this dream ranch � like Ennis was supposed to process it all in five minutes. Like Ennis was going to forget the murdered queer in that ditch when he was a kid. What the fuck was I thinkin�? Jack wonders. Goddamn it all, I had ta fall in love with a good man, goin� ta take his sweet time �bout all this. Ain�t goin� ta step out on the wife an� kids, least not without thinkin� �bout it a whole lot, anyways.
Despite that, Jack�s dream still seems so promising�Ennis has taken a couple days off work, after all, seems to be enjoying himself away from his family, has gotten out of that godforsaken apartment. A boyish freshness has returned to his face. These past two days it has been just the two of them again � just two boys in love and nature � just like their summer on Brokeback Mountain. Things are headin� in the right direction, ain�t they, Jack assures himself. Maybe not as fast as I would a liked �em to, but still �.
*
Even so, Jack knows he is dealing with the old Ennis here�a man who has retreated so completely into himself that the only outlets for his emotions are violence and tears. Ever since he was a child when his parents died, no one but Jack has seen Ennis cry. On Brokeback, Ennis�as conflicted as ever about his desires and his manhood�almost cried when Jack fucked him for the first time. Almost � but he didn�t. Only last night did Jack see his lover cry, really cry � and turn away from him. The vulnerable Ennis � yes, that Ennis is the one that no one but Jack sees, the one he loves most. But the shocking change in mood that led to the tears � tender passion suddenly turning into a burst of violent fucking�Jack doesn�t remember that behavior from their summer together.
He does consider that back then, Ennis� only obligations were his horse and Aguirre�s sheep, and he took them pretty seriously, even as he and Jack put more and more time and energy into their affair. Sure, Ennis was engaged to Alma, but Jack was pretty sure that was more a matter of happenstance and propriety than anything. It was just a fact that didn�t seem to weigh on Ennis� mind back then, so far as Jack could tell.
But now Ennis is married, has his wife�s needs to consider, even if he doesn�t always know what to do about them. Maybe he loves her? Jack doesn�t think it goes much beyond obligation, but who is he to say? She did after all give Ennis the children he adores, damn her. In any case, divorce is not taken lightly when children are involved, in a small town where people talk, Jack supposes. And if there ever was a man who wouldn�t want to give others a reason to talk, it�s Ennis Del Mar. That�s why their ranch isn�t going to be around Riverton, Jack has decided. Close enough so Ennis can see his little girls every now and then � but just.
Those goddamned daughters! Jack hasn�t even met them, but Ennis sure as hell dotes on them, that much Jack can tell. The man really loves those two girls, and Jack � well, Jack is a damned confusing diversion for their devoted daddy. Ennis cannot fight his passion for Jack, yet he knows he must betray his family to pursue it. The question facing Ennis is how far can he go�or not go�with this other man before destroying Jack or his own family?
*
The two men arrive back at the motel by mid-afternoon, are pleased to find the same room available. Just as wretched and dingy as any other room behind any other door, but somehow special now that they have anointed it. Ennis� cum, barely dry it seems, stains the carpet. A darker area on the paneling reminds of Jack�s sweating back and ass as Ennis pinned him against the wall while sucking his dick in their first frenzied moments together. Beyond the bed the wall bears a milky trace where Ennis shot his load onto it and the semen ran down. The closed room still smells strongly of the two men�tobacco, their whiskey breaths, sweat and piss and semen. The richness of their skin itself amidst all the lovemaking�balls, cocks, assholes�all part of the primal scent that marks this room, this territory, as theirs.
This time, however, Ennis does not pounce on Jack like an untrained puppy, does not pin him against the wall so he can gorge himself on his lover�s cum, does not try to make up in five minutes what had gone lacking for four years. True, their time is limited, but today it�s an even match. They awoke this morning at the campsite in a spooning position � discovered playful sex in the stream � have been in good spirits ever since. Now their tongues trade warm probes, mouths locked in coordinated passion.
*
After a bottle of whiskey, a few cigarettes as they relax after being on the road, adjust to being indoors again, they end up naked on the bed.
Ennis turns toward Jack � chest to chest � holds him tight, then gently pushes him down onto his back. It�s time, Ennis thinks. I got ta share that secret, want ta let this man know what I do when he ain�t �round, what I been doin� thinkin� I wasn�t never goin� ta see him again.
Jack is pliant. Ennis, I love it when you�re gentle like this, Jack thinks. But damn, it started out that way yesterday too, didn�t it? Just don�t go crazy on me this time, huh?
Jack gazes up at Ennis � at his bright, dark eyes. At his sandy hair, tidy and short after the haircut he had gotten specially the day before Jack arrived. At his angular face, fresh and rosy but strong-jawed. At his thick neck and broad chest, nipples perking up now as Ennis becomes more excited. The excited penis itself curving up from its base of tawny, short curls. Damn, Ennis, Jack thinks, you are so fuckin� sexy � such a man � so � so beautiful. So worth lovin�, but ya just don�t understand that, do ya?
Ennis leans over Jack to kiss him. �Ennis,� Jack whispers, �do what ya gotta do � I want ta feel all a ya inside a me. I�m ready.� Not like yesterday � oh damn, do I really want this? Can my butt handle him fuckin� me so soon after that? Well, if it hurts too much, we�ll do somethin� else, Jack decides.
Ennis slides back, on his knees works his way between Jack�s legs and up to his balls. Lifts the other man�s legs, like he usually does when he�s going to fuck him from the front. But he doesn�t stop, keeps pushing the legs, moves Jack�s feet toward the wall until he looks like a contortionist all wrapped up over himself. They both hear the crack of bones rubbing together.
�Ow! Ennis, ya got my rodeo leg there! What the fuck?� Jack is alarmed already. Goddamn it! He�s goin� crazy on me again. �That really hurts � motherfucker � what do ya think you�re doin�?�
Shit, he don�t seem injured ta me, Ennis thinks, the way we been carryin� on the past couple a days. But fuck, didn�t think I was hurtin� him � better ease up a little here.
Jack winces. �I ain�t exactly crippled, Ennis, but tell ya what, had enough things broke ta keep me out a the army, ya know. Except my dick, only thing. An� my ass. Never broke my ass, lucky for you, ya son of a bitch.� Jack is impressed with himself that his sense of humor isn�t diminished by his discomfort.
But Ennis doesn�t go crazy this time, calmly massages Jack�s rodeo leg so the position is acceptable after all, although well above the usual fucking position. Jack�s ass is so high that Ennis would have to just about stand up and plunge straight down to penetrate him. That would really, really hurt, Jack thinks, because Ennis puts a lot of power behind any thrust � and with gravity on his side �. Just stay calm, Jack tells himself, even as he breaks out in a sweat. �Jesus christ, Ennis,� he says brightly, �what ya got in mind here? Things seem kind a up in the air from where I�m � uh, layin�, I guess.� He seems okay, Jack thinks, but can�t hurt ta humor him some more. �Looks ta be pretty interestin� � long as ya don�t break no more bones. Or my boner,� Jack adds with a hearty laugh. That was fuckin� good, he thinks. And he�s just as pleased that the pain didn�t diminish his erection at all � not one bit. In fact, did it � could it be that the pain made his dick harder than it was?
Even Ennis chuckles. �That was damned funny, Jack, the idea a me breakin� your boner! Almost did it the other day, though, didn�t I, when I was ridin� ya like I did.� In this very motel room it was, Jack bucking up into Ennis, and Ennis rolling around on Jack�s cock to get the most out of that sweet spot. �But don�t need ta worry, Jack � it�s kind a different � ain�t goin� ta hurt ya at all, no sir.� He really ain�t got no idea what we�re doin�, does he? Ennis thinks, and he gives Jack a wink.
Ennis ain�t never winked at me, I�m damned sure a that, Jack thinks. An� it ain�t goin� ta hurt, thank god for that. Let�s see what ya got in mind, friend, got ya all smilin� an� winkin� like that.
And then Ennis becomes all serious again.
*
Ennis did things that summer on Brokeback he had never thought possible, even after the sex began. Little by little, he learned to enjoy the pleasures that Jack seemed to have invented. He marveled at the things Jack thought of�just the things he could do with his mouth! And the fact that Jack would try everything first, what seemed to be the harder or more painful half of it anyway. Well, Ennis could hardly say no to his mounting opportunities. Yes, a boy who went up simply to tend sheep, a virgin who �hadn�t yet had the opportunity� to sin � came back a man.
That one cold night in the tent � there he found himself instinctively, furiously fucking Jack�s ass. Even so, Ennis didn�t consider that a sin. The way he had been raised, he should have despised his actions, but he couldn�t � because he knew the first moment he entered Jack that it was � well, it was love. He was hopelessly, helplessly in love with Jack. He feared that more than anything � and those thoughts were what he buried. He acted on those thoughts, though, fully enjoyed with Jack the carnal pleasures of their relationship, although he could frustrate Jack by taking so long to accept something new. Jack hadn�t done any of this before, either, and not knowing exactly what to expect from Ennis sometimes made him uncomfortable.
Yet there was Ennis one day, on his knees, ready to suck Jack�s dick � just like that � had worried about it for weeks, then suddenly was willing to put Jack�s penis in his mouth! To let his lover ejaculate in his mouth � no, to make him come in his mouth. Jack had gone down on Ennis many times since their affair began, but Ennis found it unthinkable that he himself could do that to Jack. Jack, after all, had that special mouth � but of course because it was Jack � only ever Jack � it seemed that the right time always came sooner or later for Ennis to try it. Was it really a dirty thing to do? Well � maybe not after all. Instead, there was the bond they felt as Ennis wrapped his lips so tightly around Jack�s erection, Jack understanding how much Ennis loved him to overcome his own objections and make a breakthrough like that. In fact, Ennis learned to crave the sweet, musky flavor of Jack�s semen, like some sort of nourishment that had been withheld from him all his life.
Ennis was no less than astonished when he finally let Jack fuck him, let the other man penetrate him, fill him with seed to his very core. His fiercely guarded manhood � christ, how Ennis had tried not to let that go! Apart from worrying about his masculinity, Ennis had determined that getting fucked would end their sojourn as lovers � had vowed that it wouldn�t happen. Such an act would be so � so momentous, he figured, so final. But the day came when he could no longer deny his lover entry to that inner sanctum, when he could no longer fight the temptation to submit body and soul to Jack, this man with whom he had shared every other physical pleasure.
Ennis braced himself for the crossing into unfamiliar territory, into the uncomfortable realm of not knowing exactly what was going to happen�how he would feel physically, how he would feel mentally, indeed, how he would feel about Jack, afterward. But when his lover finally took him � Jack�s penis probing gently against his asshole � Jack being so careful, so attentive to Ennis� fear of the pain � finally slipping past the tight ring of muscle into that hot tunnel, finally breaking through Ennis� painstaking shield. Then Jack�s kissing him deeply as his loving cock hit that pleasure spot in there. Ennis had felt closer than ever to Jack at that moment � had literally let the man enter forbidden territory, had given himself up to the only person in the world whom he could ever love.
And then � and then the indescribable ecstasy as he stroked himself to orgasm with Jack�s penis so deep within him. Jack�s loving thrusts � Ennis didn�t want them to stop � wanted more and more of Jack in him, even though that wasn�t possible. It was with joyous relief that Ennis did lose control � finally � to the one person in the world whom he had learned to trust. He would have entrusted his life to Jack.
He would never have another experience like that, would he?
*
There hasn�t been anything in his life since those days that comes close. Sure, when he is alone and has a chance to jerk off, he puts his finger up his butt, closes his eyes and strokes his prostate, wraps his powerful, rough fingers around his cock � and thinks of Jack. Jack everywhere, in impossible permutations, fucking and sucking him at the same time�Ennis prodding the sweet place in his own ass with his finger, his hand firmly massaging his shaft, his balls, his chest�that usually does it. Often he�ll whisper to himself, �Jack � oh, Jack �� So simple, just conjuring up his lost lover�s name to share this very personal act.
But when Alma and the girls are around, which is most of the time, he always has to be in charge, always has to be the man. Well, he always is a man, always has been, he knows that. But it is just � different � somehow, with Jack. When Jack is around, Ennis doesn�t have to be dominant, and that is so refreshing for him. On Brokeback it had seemed that Jack was always a step ahead of him. At times that bothered Ennis, but mostly not, once he became comfortable with the arrangement. And Jack had never tried to use the seeming imbalance to his advantage. On the contrary, he nurtured Ennis� submissions, knowing that every chink in Ennis� heavy emotional armor would lead to deeper intimacy, make the other man a better lover. Not that Jack had all the answers. But he knew from experience how he enriched their love whenever he opened himself up to Ennis. When he followed his instincts like that first night in the tent. Like that second night in the tent, when he sensed how lost Ennis was when it came to romance � and it was up to him to feel his way through the experience for both of them.
*
This is it, Ennis thinks. Now that I got him this far, got ta tell him, no two ways �bout it. He�ll like it, I think � won�t he? Yeah, he�ll like it. It don�t look like he�s tried it already, want ta surprise him. Hard ta do that, ain�t it? Jack�s got all those goddamn ideas in that head a his, always thinkin� somethin� up an� plannin� shit.
Jack lies there expectantly � what in the fuck is he thinkin� about? he wonders. �Hey, Ennis, tell ya what � well, ya made my leg feel better an� all, but it�s kind a hard stayin� all curled up like this. Ain�t goin� ta be no more blood goin� in ta my dick, ya know, if it�s all rushin� down ta my face!�
Ennis looks down at Jack�s reddened face, takes a deep breath. �Jack, look, ya know � I thought when ya drove away that summer � that � well, that I wouldn�t never see ya again! Ya know how I felt �bout that, Jack?� Ennis� face recalls the pain he felt as the man he loved so much left him there in the road. But he must make Jack understand, must set the stage for the perversion he plans to share.
Jack appreciates Ennis� pain. He was just as devastated when they had to end their affair so suddenly that one afternoon. He just handled it differently, spent four years diverting himself, fooling himself into thinking he was something he wasn�t � a great rodeo rider � a great husband � and now a great father. He couldn�t even get near the kid, thanks to Lureen�s intrusive parents. What all his experiences taught him: he was a great lover, but to only one person�Ennis Del Mar. Goddamn it, it was just the way it was, the way it was meant to be. They both had known it, and the men had just handled their inner turmoil in different ways.
So here Jack lies, with his lover again, to make right what had gone so wrong on that day four years ago. Whatever Ennis has in mind here can only help, he thinks.
Ennis tries to keep his voice steady. �I didn�t have no one ta fuck, Jack � I mean, you bein� a man an� all, ya know, not like Alma. Ya weren�t �round ta do it ta me, neither, hit that place a joy in my butt like ya did. Ya know I ain�t never thought a goin� with no other man. Was your lovin� mouth I needed on my dick, Jack, an� lord knows I wanted ta suck yours, too. Wanted so bad ta see ya naked again, pleasure ya down there � taste your jizz, feel an� smell ya, Jack � just wanted ta touch ya all over, for chrissake.� His voice quavers and his eyes glisten with nascent tears. The loss he had prepared himself to live with! And even now no certain solution in sight. �Just couldn�t stand the idea a not havin� ya hug me with those strong arms an� all � wrap your big ol� legs �round my back when I was movin� inside a ya an� we was kissin�. Ya know, Alma an� all � well, shit, she�s so goddamn little, bless her heart! She don�t like ta wrestle �round neither.�
Jack thinks of saying, Ennis, ya know how many fuckin� men are runnin� �round out there? Got ta be one might a done ya �fore I showed up here. But like Ennis says, he wouldn�t go with another man, couldn�t � never would even cross his mind, not being queer. It has only ever been Jack, period, just the two of them. Nothing queer, nothing queer at all. And in fact, Jack prefers it that way. A man like Ennis Del Mar was not meant to spread his seed where it doesn�t belong, and both men know just where it does belong.
But yet it seems like Ennis has found someone else after all, hasn�t he? Jack thinks. Not anything serious, but for Ennis, even though he had no obligation to a lover he would probably never see again, it would seem like a breach of trust. You�re just apologizin� up front, ain�t ya, Ennis? You was drunk, wasn�t ya? Yeah, that�s what it was, a couple a drunk buddies, an� both a ya was lonely � an� sure, ya found somebody � or I bet they found you, didn�t they? Long as ya didn�t take their goddamn dick up your ass, Ennis � no, ya would a killed someone tried ta do that, wouldn�t ya, even if ya was drunk, �cause it wouldn�t a been like you an� me � like just the two a us, doin� those real special things, those real lovin� things, ya know, not just � not just tryin� ta shoot off. Jack thinks of his own faceless encounters, meaningless to him because Ennis was not there � and because Jack never did those �real lovin� things� with any of those men.
*
Only out of desperation did Ennis arrive at his idea of how he could at least enjoy again the feel of hot cum trickling past his lips. Lips that could have done so much more had they had the opportunity. It was a way he wouldn�t betray his memory of Jack, his love for Jack, wouldn�t betray himself, wouldn�t betray his family, for that matter.
Jack has nothing to worry about. No one has fucked Ennis besides Jack � or Ennis� fantasy of Jack.
Jack sees how difficult it is for Ennis to share this � this need that led him to another man. He listens raptly to Ennis� story, plans to forgive him when all is said and done, no questions asked. Why his legs are in the air like this, he doesn�t know. That other man taught Ennis somethin�, didn�t he? Jack supposes. Somethin� Ennis aims ta share with me. Jack hopes that whatever it is, it�s fun. An� don�t worry, Ennis, he thinks, I forgive ya already. I swear I do.
- 7
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Reunion