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The Siren Song of Pirate Fire	By : KinkyCheshireKat Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (All) > General Views: 2999 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Pirates of the Caribbean movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
The Siren Song of Pirate Fire
By �Kitty� Katrionna Brannagh

A/N: Allo allo ev�eyone! Kitty here with a new
chapter. Ain�t ye excited, me lovelies?

POSTSCRIPT (Another lit�ul bit that was in
the original version. Thought it�d be funny to include. ^_^)

Please be warned, my younger readers and/or those
with weak constitutions: at the end of this chapter there is some
rather suggestive material. Nothing too bad, this
story is only rated PG-13, calm down. <glares at Doty and
claps hand over her mouth before she can say �Gasp! Kathryn! Naughty!�> So
yeah, if you�re offended, either skip to the very end or get over it.
Okay, �nuff-o-dat, please, go read...

Wasn�t that entertaining, then? Silly children, with their silly notions
of acceptable reading material.

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�Whaddye think is wrong wiv �im then?�
whispered Giselle.

�I do�n know,� murmured Chelsea. �Too much rum maybe?�

�Maybe �ee lost a job or somefthing on a ship,�
offered Scarlet, �and...now �ee�s...depressed?�

Suddenly Jack shouted with abandon, �Right
then! I say we sing a, uh, uh...a song, YES, a song!�

His arms flailed about as he jumped on top of
the table and his face scrunched into an expression of one in thought of a very
perplexing mystery. �But what song you might ask, well, I�ll tell you!� By now
most of the bar was staring at Jack again and began to gather around him.

�Yes, um, now �ow�d it go again??� Jack
squatted down on his knees and leaned forward (while the three women in back of
him took a very appreciative gander at his behind.) �Lessee, uuummm...duh nuh
nuh nuh nuh nuh duh nuh nuh nuh...and really bad eggs...ah HAA!!� Jack leapt
off the table and landed shakily on his feet, not quite falling over. �I�ve got
it! We�re devils and black sheep and really bad eggs,� he held up another shot
glass he found at the table next to him, �drink up me hearties yo ho!�

Jack grabbed Chelsea and Giselle by their arms
and spun around, taking them with him. �Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me, I llloove
this song, ah ha!!� Chelsea and Giselle started to clap and giggle while
Scarlet leapt into Jack�s arms, pushing the other two women away. Not realizing
Scarlet was the one he was carrying, Jack continued in his mad song...

We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We kidnap and ravage and don�t give a hoot,

Drink up, me 'earties yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,

Drink up me 'earties yo ho.

Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,

Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho a pirate's life for me.

We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,

Drink up, me 'earties yo ho.

We burn up the city, we're really a fright,

Drink up me 'earties yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho a pirate's life for me.

We're rascals and scoundrels and villains, and knaves,

Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

We're devils and black sheep and really bad eggs,

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

(A/N: And now, my favourite verse...)
We're beggars and blighters, and ne'er-do-well cads,

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,

Drink up me 'earties, yo ho!!
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate�s life fer me!

Jack spun around on the heels of his boots and
Scarlet�s red skirt flared out knocking him in the face. He didn�t really notice.
He ran around to all the tables, clapping peoples� hands together, banging mugs
down rhythmically, even stomping their feet for them (they didn�t really like
the last one, but they were mostly all drunk so it doesn�t matter in the
slightest.)

�Come, come now,� Jack cried, �sing along, for
gods sakes!� The slur in his voice made all of his S�s sound like Z�s, his A�s
like I�s, and his E�s like A�s. �Yes, yes, veeeery good then!� He batted at
everyone�s hands and kept singing the lovely lit�ul hymn. �Really, bad
eggs! Whoa!� Jack suddenly realized he was very tired. Why is that do ye
suppose?? He looked down in his arms and saw Scarlet waving up at him.
�Huh. Thas� why. When did ye get there?� Scarlet steeled her eyes and forced
them to not roll around, lest she ruin her chances of wooing Jack.

�Oh, a while,� she silkily replied. Jack�s
forehead furrowed as he wondered if it were true. He looked around. Scarlet
began to hope. Maybe he was finally going to kiss her! She�d waited
for-bloody-ever and-- �Does anyone �ave a crowbar?� Jack shouted. Scarlet�s
mouth dropped open. ��Ow do I git this fthing off?!� Slap!!
Scarlet plopped to the ground but that wasn�t why she was fuming. Jack looked
confused. Then scared. Then insulted. It took him a while but he finally said
something to Scarlet about her attack on him.

�Oooow!� he said loudly, yelling at her head.
Oh, yes, he told her all right. �I don�t fthink I deserved that, Red. Ouch! Oy!
Stop that!� Jack grabbed his knee, yelped in pain, and hopped around. Chelsea
and Giselle each took an arm and led poor Jack back to the table.

�There, there, now,� cooed Giselle, �s�all
right.�

�Yeah,� added Chelsea, �we�ll go kick her backside for
you.�

Giselle inched away from Chelsea, gazing fearfully at her brown fists.
�Um, that�s ok,� she replied, �I�ll stay �ere wiv Jack.� Chelsea rolled her eyes and went off to beat
up Scarlet. Where did that girl get to anyway? Giselle beamed. Now she had Jack
all to herself and... �Oy!� Giselle looked under, behind, even on top of the
table, but then just sat up, confused. �Where�d �ee get to??�

Outside, Scarlet was walking as quickly as her
legs would allow, and dragging helpless, drunken Jack behind her. She was
headed for the docks. �Now Jack,� she called back to him as he waved to one of
his crew members who was heading into an old house with a woman, �whaddya sai
we go and �ave ourselves a lit�ul fun back at ye ship, eh?� Yes, those were
perfectly good seductive words. �Jack?� Too bad Jack wasn�t listening and
singing �Fifteen Men On A Dead Man�s Chest� (yo ho ho and a bottle of rum...).
�Jack!!� Scarlet screeched. �Bloody �ell, just �ow drunk are ye?!�

Jack stopped them from moving any further by
dragging his heel in the dirt until he�d created a rut that the lone Scarlet
couldn�t pull him out of. He turned around, effects flying, and he waved his
hands in front of her. �Well. Very, drunk. Quite, drunk I should
imagine. And now if you�ll excuse me,� Jack saluted her, �I�ve must get back to
my village.� He began to walk in his swaying way ahead of Scarlet. �I�m
expected home by dinner a�cause I have to milk the chickens and collect the cow
eggs, good day to you sar!� Scarlet (thoroughly confused) just followed Jack
because he was heading in the direction of the Black Pearl anyway.

Walking up the gangplank, Jack looked up and
saw that the moon was concealed behind a veil of milky grey clouds. �No bloody
pirate zombies then,� he shouted. �No more blasted, whoa,� Jack tripped,
�blasted mutineers tryin�tuh steal me ship!!� He glanced suspiciously
around making sure that there weren�t any subversive immortal skeletons lurking
about. Scarlet stumbled along the walkway that was no more than a long thin
piece of wood. �I�m not gonna fall,� she muttered, �I�m not gonna fall.�
Letting out one little �eek�, she jumped onto the deck, looked over the side,
cringed, and cautiously edged away.

�Boo!�

�AAAGH!!�

Laughter...glaring... �Uh-oh,� mumbled Jack,
but not before Scarlet had slung her fist into his stomach, so it really
sounded like �Uh-OOHahowouchouchieowowowowoooow!!�

Scarlet�s brown eyes flared. That was it. She
was pissed. She and Jack were gonna jump in bed in the next thirty seconds or
someone was going to get pushed overboard, and it wouldn�t be her (A/N:
<singsongy> that�s what sheee thiiinks...heh heh heh...).

�Jack?� The drunken pirate flung himself up
from leaning over backwards against the side and looked across to the other
side. Scarlet had let both of her sleeves slip down off her shoulders, she
leaned against the rail so as to thrust her breasts forward in a (what she seemed
to think) very alluring manner, and stuck out her lip in a pout. �Come �ere
would ye?� Confused, Jack swayed over to her.

�Yyyyupp?� he asked, smacking his lips on the
�p�. Scarlet laid her palms on Jack�s shoulders and whispered, �Do ye know what
Oi would really like to do right now?� Jack�s blank stare prompted her
to further explanation. �It�s something ye can do wiv your moufth.� Jack
thought a moment and then his eyes lit up. He smoothed out his moustache with
his index fingers and suggestively wiggled his eyebrows (though his usually
rugged and handsome devilish expression was dulled by the alcohol swimming
through him).

�I know ezactly what ye mean, luv.� Scarlet
leaned forward and closed her eyes. And waited. And waited. She cracked one eye
open.

�Well?� she impatiently asked.

�In a moment, in a moment,� Jack replied in an
equally intolerant tone. �I�m just figuring out what to do first.� Scarlet�s
lips formed a perfect �O� and her eyes went black. He must have been thinking
of something really good...
```
 
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```
�������������� �I'm a sailin� man and I don't give a damn, 'bout the wind or the wave or the weather, for life is rich on a pirate ship, so long as there's plenty of treasure!�
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�������������� Scarlet�s mouth dropped open, gaping, but this time it was from disbelief, not lust. And now, so frustrated, she decided to take matters into her own hands...literally. Jack stopped singing slowly as he noticed that someone�s hands were-heeello-what�s-all-this-and-what-a-goes-on?! Something in Jack�s mind made him back away, and he tried to, but Scarlet held firm on the matter (A/N: My god, I am full of such dirty jokes today...). Even though he flailed around a bit still, he had slowed down enough for Scarlet to plant her over-painted lips on Jack�s dry ones. Something still screamed at Jack to pull away and toss the wench over board because of...because of...
```
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�������������� Jack forlornly grumbled a sigh, the tension left his shoulders, and he hesitantly gave in. Scarlet, overjoyed that she�d finally gotten him, began to pull him across the deck and pushed open the door to the Captain�s quarters. She shrugged off the top half of her dress and tossed back the midnight sheets covering Jack�s bed. 
```
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�������������� The voice in Jack�s head that shrieked for him to stop was growing fainter by the minute, but Jack wasn�t about to let it remind him of why he shouldn�t, couldn�t, do what he was about to. Breaking apart from Scarlet�s (semi-)provoking lips, Jack tossed back the lid on his sea chest that sat next to his bed. 
```
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�������������� Pulling out a large dark brown glass bottle, Jack yanked the cork out using his teeth, and he took a swig. His vision began to haze again. Another. Scarlet�s hands were travelling up his chest and wrapping themselves around his neck. Jack�s eyes squeezed shut to block the salty drops that were sure to spill through any moment, and he took one last long draught, draining almost half the bottle. Still gripping the glass neck, he slipped under the covers with Scarlet...
```
~*END (finally...) FLASHBACK*~

Lying in his room that was filled
with hazy grey morning light, Jack pounded his fist against the wall. He
couldn�t think anymore about last night. He�d kill himself before he did. With
a heavy sigh, Jack got up. He had to go someplace...else. Someplace that
wouldn�t scream with memories of every woman he�d slept with. Almost every
woman anyway... �Aah! Damn it to hell, don�t go there Jack...� Jack sat down on
the bed began to put on his shirt and coat. He needed to go somewhere where he
didn�t have to think about...her.

Pulling on his hat, Jack stood up and
looked around till he found his pile of maps. Striding over he righted the
overturned table, pulled up a chair, and began to search for someplace he and
his Pearl could
go. After going through three or four maps, Jack came across one that on the
top read �Port Royale.� Jack grinned slightly. Well, he�d found someplace. Jack
got up and walked to the door, swaying slightly. �Now all I have to do is find
a weddin� present for Will�n�Liz.� He almost smiled as he walked onto the deck,
thinking, �After all, I love weddings. And no wedding would be complete wivvout
a gift from Captain Jack Sparrow.�

Meanwhile, heading towards Tortuga were two ships...

Silhouetted against the rising sun,
a figure stood atop the mast, gazing out at the sea with a lovely arrogant
smirk, hair flying back against the wind. Chiffon scarves tied around the
person�s hat whipped around their face, and grazed the slender fingers that
stroked a black diamond charm hanging upon a black pearl chain...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: EEK!! Whaddya think?? <insane laughter> Please
remember me four �R�s of fanfiction...

Reading
(w)Riting
Reviewing
Rum...ming...wait...

Much love,

~*Kitty*~
- 7
- 8
- 9
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The Siren Song of Pirate Fire