Insane love
folder
Pirates of the Caribbean (All) › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
15
Views:
907
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Pirates of the Caribbean (All) › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
15
Views:
907
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Pirates of the Caribbean movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Don�t be afraid, be fucking horrified
“More rum please!” jack slurs, he had gone back to drinking after the whore’s pathetic performance in bed. ‘She got to be the worst, I wonder what kali is doing...’ he thought. He was very drunk and could barely stand,
“ And so we meet again!” says a familiar voice from behind him,
“ Captain Evil” jacks mutters ‘ jest bloody perfect’
Captain evil cocks his pistol at jack’s head before smirking insanely,
“ Revenge is by far me favorite word!” he says before knocking jack unconscious
“ Woa!” cries jack as one of captain evil’s crew slaps him hard across the face
“ Where are they?” Evil yells
“ I don’t know mate” he replies rubbing his sore cheek. Captain Evil had been asking the same question for half an hour, he wanted to know where Kali and spike were.
The whole of jack’s crew were tied to the mast while he was being interrogated,
“Speak or you shall regret it with yer life!” Evil shouts
“ I don’t know where they are!” jack cries in frustration
“ You bloody son of a”
Spike and kali appear laughing hysterically, a cloud of smoke behind them,
“ I can fly!” Kali giggles
“ Hey it’s captain Evil” chuckles Spike
“ He’s such a lil pimp!” she says taking another puff,
They both inhale and then exhale
“ Mmmmmm man! I can’t believe I’ve lived without it” spike says moaning
“ Ya I think I can feel the orgasm!” kali replies equally affected, they both start giggling again.
“ There they Are!” yells Evil.
“ Muhahahahahaha once I’ve manage to best captain jack sparrow!” he says proudly
“Now…where is MY money!” he says not sounding so piratie anymore,
Kali and spike just stare at him confused, taking another drag
“ Do you KNOW who I am?” asks an annoyed captain
“ O I know!” says kali jumping up and down, “ you’re captain Evil!”
“ I’m Marcus White!” he says puffing up his chest
At this kali and spike pail…
“ I think we got a problem!” whispers spike loudly
“ Yes y’all are in deep shit!”Evil says before cocking his gun at them menacingly
“ WHERE is MY money!” he shouts
“ What are you talking bout?” asks kali
“ A few months ago, you guys were met to transport 1000000000 dollars worth of drugs…of course it never reached its destination…I’m BROKE! Every thing was there in the fucking truck! I was forced to come in this rotten world and become a fucking pirate! Now, I’m gonna ask this one more time… WHERE and WHAT happened to MY money!” he yells
“ Okay, it’s cool, we’ll tell ye what happened…” replies spike carelessly
He and kali both sit down on the floor,
Spike:
(Spoken)
Not long ago me and my mate kali here,
we was driving with your precious load.
All of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon...
in the middle... of the road.
And he said:
Kali:
(Sung )
"Play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your souls." (Soul)
Spike:
(Spoken)
Well me and Kali, we looked at each other,
and we each said... "Okay."
Both:
(Sung)
And we played the first thing that came to our heads,
just so happened to be,
The Best Song in the World, it was The Best Song in the World.
Ohhhhyea ohhhawwwohhhh
Kali:
And is saved our butts,
because the demon want to kill us ohhh
But he was forced to set us free
by the honor codes that demons... have to live by
Both:
Cause its Satan’s surprise and its magic
and it’s a mystical disguise
the devils strong and its tragic
you are the mystical eyed virgin and your rocking
Kali:
(Spoken)
Needless to say, the beast was stunned.
Whip-crack went his rumpled tail,
and the beast was done.
Spike:
He asked us: "(snort) Be you angels?"
And we said, "Nay. We are but men."
Rock!
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahh,
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!
Both:
(Sung)
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!
This is not The Greatest Song in the World, no.
this is just a tribute.
Couldn't remember The Greatest Song in the World, no, no.
this is a tribute, oh, to The Greatest Song in the World,
All right! It was The Greatest Song in the World,
All right! It was the best muthafuckin' song the
greatest song in the world.
Allllllright!
'Ti Tuga digga tu Gi Friba fligugibu Uh Fligugigbu Uh Di Ei Friba Du Gi Fligu fligugigugi Flilibili Ah
(Bow) (Bow) (Bow) (Ooh) (Bow) (Bi)
Fligu wene mamamana Lucifer!
(Mene) (LUCIFER)!
Kali:
(Spoken)
And the peculiar thing is this my friends:
the song we sang on that fateful night it didn't actually sound
anything like this song.
Both:
(Sung )
This is just a tribute! You gotta believe me!
And I wish you were there! Just a matter of opinion.
Ah, fuck! Good God, God lovin',
So surprised to find you can't stop it.
All right! All right!
O hallelujah I'm found! Rich motherfucker compadre aaaaah!
All right!
All right!
They both lay sprawled on the ground laughing,
"And well while we was singing the song, the demon injected, swallowed, inhaled and smoked everything in the truck!” Said spike happily
“ YOU BUNCH OF USELESS FUCKING RETARDED BASTARDS! DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT!” Evil yelled at the top of his lungs
“…Ya…”
“ KILL THEM! JUST FUCKING KILL THEM!” he shouts
“ I think he’s gon hyperventilate…” whispers kali
“Wait! I think there might be some truth in their tale” a short man said
“ Some truth! Who the hell hired the punk! Why I am ALWAYS surrendered by morons! ”He said exasperated
“ Wait, look” the short man said quickly, “ what were you guys transporting?” he asked spike and kali
“ Erm…shrooms!” spike said triumphantly
“ HA! See they weren’t lying, shrooms is a hallucinogen, they probably saw the demon!” he said proudly
“ What do you want? A medal! I want my money!” Evil said, taking the short man by the collar and shaking him violently
“ MY MONEY!” he yelled
He suddenly dropped the man, when he heard chuckling from the two druggies
“ You think this is funny? DIE!” he says taking his sword out of it’s slash and lunging at them.
But he stopped himself abruptly,
“ any last words?” he asks
spike and kali look at him funny before nodding savagely,
“Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Sisko yes I'm eager and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now”
“ I’M GONA FUCKIN KILL YOU!” Evil yells, he runs swinging his sword but is restrained by his men.
“ Boss, you might have to think over killing them…they are the best workers we have…” one of them said
“ Are you high or something? They lost 1000000000 freaking dollars! And you are telling me they are the best workers we have!”
“ Listen boss, they don’t ask any questions, they kill whoever you want dead, they transport whatever you want, no matter the obstacles…I know they messed up, but they were high…you can’t afford to loose more…” the man explained
Evil looked at him, he seemed to think for a moment before slowly nodding his head in agreement, he realized himself from their grip and advanced spice and kali,
“ I’m gona give you a choice (pause) you either work for me again or DIE” he said
Spike and kali look at each other. Kali then glances at jack, seeing him there for the first time. He’s looking at her, he’s hide hold no emotion, she felt nervous under his calculating gaze.
She looked away, spike was looking at Anna-Maria, she was glaring at him
“ I blew it” kali heard him whisper
“ You’ll have all the drugs you want, as long as you work for me” Evil repeated, he threw a white packet at them to prove his point…Powder cocaine…. Kali stared at the packet, she licked her lips nervously. She glanced at spike. He was staring at it too, his hands had a firm grasp on his lap,
“ Come on! I just want my killers back!” evil said
Kali hesitantly took the packet, she ripped it slowly, holding it in her hands. Spike was following her every move. She stood up, still holding the pack. Spike followed suit…
Kali never looked more serious in her life, she looked Evil straight in the eyes, before pouring the powder on the ground,
Evil’s eyes widened,
“ WHAT is that supposed to mean?”
“ Its means no!” spike piped up
“WHAT!” Evil roared
“ Kill them! Fucking kill them!” he yelled
“ But boss, they’re professional killers...” one of his man said gulping.
“I’m not AFRAID, so kill them already!” Evil shouted
“ Don’t be afraid…be fucking horrified" Kali said looking at him intently
Spike advanced Evil but two men stood in front of him. He elbowed one of them, and smacked the other on both sides of the head with his hands, he than gave a forward punch and the guy fell to the ground. He did a high round kick with both legs, sending another man flying overboard.
Kali was taken by surprise when she felt someone kick her back hard, making her fall on the floor. Furious she grabbed her opponent's ankles and yanked hard, bringing his skull to the ground, he started bleeding profusely as she took out her dagger and plunged it into his heart.
She stood up and another rough-looking man approached her. She moved in quickly, put one leg behind his and pushed him over. She than did a cartwheel with the legs coming down on his head.
A man suddenly pushed her toward the wall, and started banging her head against it furiously until her vision got blurred. She turned around swiftly, facing her attacker, wrapped her legs around his lead leg and took him down hard. She crawled out of his grasp spitting blood.
She tried to stand up, but felt pushed back to the ground. She stood on both hands and kicked hard with both legs. She stood up difficultly before getting behind him, putting her arms around his stomach and squeezing really tight until the man fell to the ground knocked out. (This knock out method really works, it lasts for 10 - 15 minutes and doesn’t hurt the person)
She walked over him and saw another man run towards her, she took his head between her hands and snapped his neck, he fell lifelessly. She looked around her, and found spike standing over many corpse, breathing heavily. Evil was cowering in the corner, he stood up slowly, spike and kali were looking at him, a murderous look in their eyes.
“ Hehe, you don’t need to pay me back, it’s not like I need the money… you guys are amazing, I was just testing you really…I’ll just leave now if you don’t mind…” he said tip toeing his way over to the rail.
Seeing neither was stopping him he quickly jumped over board;
“ Have fun swimming with the sharks” whispered Kali
They heard the splashing of water, a huge cry of pain followed by silence.
“ And so we meet again!” says a familiar voice from behind him,
“ Captain Evil” jacks mutters ‘ jest bloody perfect’
Captain evil cocks his pistol at jack’s head before smirking insanely,
“ Revenge is by far me favorite word!” he says before knocking jack unconscious
“ Woa!” cries jack as one of captain evil’s crew slaps him hard across the face
“ Where are they?” Evil yells
“ I don’t know mate” he replies rubbing his sore cheek. Captain Evil had been asking the same question for half an hour, he wanted to know where Kali and spike were.
The whole of jack’s crew were tied to the mast while he was being interrogated,
“Speak or you shall regret it with yer life!” Evil shouts
“ I don’t know where they are!” jack cries in frustration
“ You bloody son of a”
Spike and kali appear laughing hysterically, a cloud of smoke behind them,
“ I can fly!” Kali giggles
“ Hey it’s captain Evil” chuckles Spike
“ He’s such a lil pimp!” she says taking another puff,
They both inhale and then exhale
“ Mmmmmm man! I can’t believe I’ve lived without it” spike says moaning
“ Ya I think I can feel the orgasm!” kali replies equally affected, they both start giggling again.
“ There they Are!” yells Evil.
“ Muhahahahahaha once I’ve manage to best captain jack sparrow!” he says proudly
“Now…where is MY money!” he says not sounding so piratie anymore,
Kali and spike just stare at him confused, taking another drag
“ Do you KNOW who I am?” asks an annoyed captain
“ O I know!” says kali jumping up and down, “ you’re captain Evil!”
“ I’m Marcus White!” he says puffing up his chest
At this kali and spike pail…
“ I think we got a problem!” whispers spike loudly
“ Yes y’all are in deep shit!”Evil says before cocking his gun at them menacingly
“ WHERE is MY money!” he shouts
“ What are you talking bout?” asks kali
“ A few months ago, you guys were met to transport 1000000000 dollars worth of drugs…of course it never reached its destination…I’m BROKE! Every thing was there in the fucking truck! I was forced to come in this rotten world and become a fucking pirate! Now, I’m gonna ask this one more time… WHERE and WHAT happened to MY money!” he yells
“ Okay, it’s cool, we’ll tell ye what happened…” replies spike carelessly
He and kali both sit down on the floor,
Spike:
(Spoken)
Not long ago me and my mate kali here,
we was driving with your precious load.
All of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon...
in the middle... of the road.
And he said:
Kali:
(Sung )
"Play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your souls." (Soul)
Spike:
(Spoken)
Well me and Kali, we looked at each other,
and we each said... "Okay."
Both:
(Sung)
And we played the first thing that came to our heads,
just so happened to be,
The Best Song in the World, it was The Best Song in the World.
Ohhhhyea ohhhawwwohhhh
Kali:
And is saved our butts,
because the demon want to kill us ohhh
But he was forced to set us free
by the honor codes that demons... have to live by
Both:
Cause its Satan’s surprise and its magic
and it’s a mystical disguise
the devils strong and its tragic
you are the mystical eyed virgin and your rocking
Kali:
(Spoken)
Needless to say, the beast was stunned.
Whip-crack went his rumpled tail,
and the beast was done.
Spike:
He asked us: "(snort) Be you angels?"
And we said, "Nay. We are but men."
Rock!
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahh,
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!
Both:
(Sung)
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!
This is not The Greatest Song in the World, no.
this is just a tribute.
Couldn't remember The Greatest Song in the World, no, no.
this is a tribute, oh, to The Greatest Song in the World,
All right! It was The Greatest Song in the World,
All right! It was the best muthafuckin' song the
greatest song in the world.
Allllllright!
'Ti Tuga digga tu Gi Friba fligugibu Uh Fligugigbu Uh Di Ei Friba Du Gi Fligu fligugigugi Flilibili Ah
(Bow) (Bow) (Bow) (Ooh) (Bow) (Bi)
Fligu wene mamamana Lucifer!
(Mene) (LUCIFER)!
Kali:
(Spoken)
And the peculiar thing is this my friends:
the song we sang on that fateful night it didn't actually sound
anything like this song.
Both:
(Sung )
This is just a tribute! You gotta believe me!
And I wish you were there! Just a matter of opinion.
Ah, fuck! Good God, God lovin',
So surprised to find you can't stop it.
All right! All right!
O hallelujah I'm found! Rich motherfucker compadre aaaaah!
All right!
All right!
They both lay sprawled on the ground laughing,
"And well while we was singing the song, the demon injected, swallowed, inhaled and smoked everything in the truck!” Said spike happily
“ YOU BUNCH OF USELESS FUCKING RETARDED BASTARDS! DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT!” Evil yelled at the top of his lungs
“…Ya…”
“ KILL THEM! JUST FUCKING KILL THEM!” he shouts
“ I think he’s gon hyperventilate…” whispers kali
“Wait! I think there might be some truth in their tale” a short man said
“ Some truth! Who the hell hired the punk! Why I am ALWAYS surrendered by morons! ”He said exasperated
“ Wait, look” the short man said quickly, “ what were you guys transporting?” he asked spike and kali
“ Erm…shrooms!” spike said triumphantly
“ HA! See they weren’t lying, shrooms is a hallucinogen, they probably saw the demon!” he said proudly
“ What do you want? A medal! I want my money!” Evil said, taking the short man by the collar and shaking him violently
“ MY MONEY!” he yelled
He suddenly dropped the man, when he heard chuckling from the two druggies
“ You think this is funny? DIE!” he says taking his sword out of it’s slash and lunging at them.
But he stopped himself abruptly,
“ any last words?” he asks
spike and kali look at him funny before nodding savagely,
“Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Sisko yes I'm eager and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now”
“ I’M GONA FUCKIN KILL YOU!” Evil yells, he runs swinging his sword but is restrained by his men.
“ Boss, you might have to think over killing them…they are the best workers we have…” one of them said
“ Are you high or something? They lost 1000000000 freaking dollars! And you are telling me they are the best workers we have!”
“ Listen boss, they don’t ask any questions, they kill whoever you want dead, they transport whatever you want, no matter the obstacles…I know they messed up, but they were high…you can’t afford to loose more…” the man explained
Evil looked at him, he seemed to think for a moment before slowly nodding his head in agreement, he realized himself from their grip and advanced spice and kali,
“ I’m gona give you a choice (pause) you either work for me again or DIE” he said
Spike and kali look at each other. Kali then glances at jack, seeing him there for the first time. He’s looking at her, he’s hide hold no emotion, she felt nervous under his calculating gaze.
She looked away, spike was looking at Anna-Maria, she was glaring at him
“ I blew it” kali heard him whisper
“ You’ll have all the drugs you want, as long as you work for me” Evil repeated, he threw a white packet at them to prove his point…Powder cocaine…. Kali stared at the packet, she licked her lips nervously. She glanced at spike. He was staring at it too, his hands had a firm grasp on his lap,
“ Come on! I just want my killers back!” evil said
Kali hesitantly took the packet, she ripped it slowly, holding it in her hands. Spike was following her every move. She stood up, still holding the pack. Spike followed suit…
Kali never looked more serious in her life, she looked Evil straight in the eyes, before pouring the powder on the ground,
Evil’s eyes widened,
“ WHAT is that supposed to mean?”
“ Its means no!” spike piped up
“WHAT!” Evil roared
“ Kill them! Fucking kill them!” he yelled
“ But boss, they’re professional killers...” one of his man said gulping.
“I’m not AFRAID, so kill them already!” Evil shouted
“ Don’t be afraid…be fucking horrified" Kali said looking at him intently
Spike advanced Evil but two men stood in front of him. He elbowed one of them, and smacked the other on both sides of the head with his hands, he than gave a forward punch and the guy fell to the ground. He did a high round kick with both legs, sending another man flying overboard.
Kali was taken by surprise when she felt someone kick her back hard, making her fall on the floor. Furious she grabbed her opponent's ankles and yanked hard, bringing his skull to the ground, he started bleeding profusely as she took out her dagger and plunged it into his heart.
She stood up and another rough-looking man approached her. She moved in quickly, put one leg behind his and pushed him over. She than did a cartwheel with the legs coming down on his head.
A man suddenly pushed her toward the wall, and started banging her head against it furiously until her vision got blurred. She turned around swiftly, facing her attacker, wrapped her legs around his lead leg and took him down hard. She crawled out of his grasp spitting blood.
She tried to stand up, but felt pushed back to the ground. She stood on both hands and kicked hard with both legs. She stood up difficultly before getting behind him, putting her arms around his stomach and squeezing really tight until the man fell to the ground knocked out. (This knock out method really works, it lasts for 10 - 15 minutes and doesn’t hurt the person)
She walked over him and saw another man run towards her, she took his head between her hands and snapped his neck, he fell lifelessly. She looked around her, and found spike standing over many corpse, breathing heavily. Evil was cowering in the corner, he stood up slowly, spike and kali were looking at him, a murderous look in their eyes.
“ Hehe, you don’t need to pay me back, it’s not like I need the money… you guys are amazing, I was just testing you really…I’ll just leave now if you don’t mind…” he said tip toeing his way over to the rail.
Seeing neither was stopping him he quickly jumped over board;
“ Have fun swimming with the sharks” whispered Kali
They heard the splashing of water, a huge cry of pain followed by silence.