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More Than Darkness	By : SaMe Category: M through R > Once Upon A Time In Mexico Views: 4591 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the movie that this fanfiction is written for, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-1
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-20
- 21-21
- 22-22
- 23-23
- 24-24
- 25-25
- 26-26
- 27-27
- 28-28
- 29-29
- 30-30
- 31-31
- 32-32
- 33-33
- 34-34
- 35-35
- 36-36
- 37-37
- 38-38
- 39-39
- 40-40
- 41-41
- 42-42
- 43-43
- 44-44
- 45-45
- 46-46
- 47-47
- 48-48
- 49-49
- 50-50
- 51-51
- 52-52
- 53-53
- 54-54
- 55-55
- 56-56
- 57-57
- 58-58
- 59-59
- 60-60
- 61-61
- 62-62
- 63-63
- 64-64
- 65-65
- 66-66
- 67-67
- 68-68
- 69-69
- 70-70
- 71-71
- 72-72
- 73-73
- 74-74
- 75-75
- 76-76
- 77-77
- 78-78
- 79-79
- 80-80
- 81-81
- 82-82
- 83-83
- 84-84
- 85-85
- 86-86
- 87-87
- 88-88
- 89-89
- 70
- 71
- 72
Quentin blinked and frowned a little at a curious sensation
on his chest. It felt as if something large and heavy was pressed on top of it,
but he couldn�t seem to wake up enough to figure out what that was. After a
cursory examination of the object he deduced that it was someone�s head.
Clearly not Aida�s though, because the hair he twined in his fingers was long
and thick. Salida then.
Taking care not to wake her, he gently moved her head off of
his chest to her pillow and resolved to slip out of the bed without her noticing.
This was all very improper. He shouldn�t be here. If he was to be with anyone
at all, it should be Aida. Aida whom he would follow to the
ends of the earth. Not Salida. Never her.
"Jeffrey? Where
are you going?" Salida's voice was
a sleepy mumble; clearly, she was not even close to being fully awake.
He halted; caught in the act. �Do forgive me madam, I will be out of your way momentarily. Feel free to
return to your slumber.�
"Jeffrey?"
Salida woke up a little more.
�I�m terribly sorry, madam, but I am not your husband. We
have not been formerly introduced. I am Quentin. I would hold take your hand in
greeting, but it looks as if you�re rather indisposed at the moment.�
"Go away. I want Jeffrey."
�I am sorry to disappoint, but I am disinclined to acquiesce
with your request.�
"I want Jeffrey," she demanded petulantly.
�The world is unfortunately a cruel place in which we cannot
always get what we want.�
Salida glowered for a moment before her eyes closed again
and she seemingly dozed off.
Quentin sighed a little in relief and continued his journey
across the room to track down Aida.
Aida wasn't in the living room. She wasn't on the balcony.
She wasn't in the other bedroom...but Quentin could hear the sound of running
water coming from the bathroom. It
sounded as if someone was in the shower, and since Salida was asleep, and he
was here, that left...
He knew he shouldn�t do it. He knew he shouldn�t be here. He
knew she would probably kill him, and if not Sands surely would. But how was he
supposed to resist? He was a red-blooded male just like the rest of them. His
body knew this woman even if his mind knew that she wasn�t his. Just a brief look�
Aida felt a gust of cool air along her calf. Turning
curiously - although she knew only one man would interrupt her shower - she
glanced over her shoulder. "Can I help you?"
Quentin�s eyes widened dramatically as he hadn�t expected
her to actually realise he had been watching her. �What? No. I�didn�t---oh
hell,� he said as he turned around and exited as gracefully as he could manage.
The water turned off, the shower curtain was pulled
back. Without a thought to
self-consciousness, Aida stepped out of the shower and reached for a towel. "Sands? Is there something wrong?" Her face was
concerned.
�I�m not Sands, Aida.� Quentin said, not daring to look back
at her. God how he wanted to though.
Her wet footsteps hurried towards him and before he'd
realized what was going on, she'd slapped him across the face. "When are
you going to get it?!" she asked, hysteria present in her voice. "I'm
faithful to my husband."
He gasped a little at the slap, his head rocking with the
unexpected blow. �I didn�t�I�m sorry, Aida.�
She walked past him, feeling more like prey than punisher.
�I didn�t intend this, Aida. I am sorry,� he murmured, still
keeping his eyes directed away from her.
"You didn't intend it?" Her voice is shrill. "How do you peek in at someone while
they're in the shower without intending it?"
�It was wrong, I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have done it,� he said
hurriedly.
"You're right. You're really, really, really
right." She started pulling clothes out of drawers and flinging them on
her bed, unable to make up her mind. Or perhaps she was going to put them all
on to cover up the nakedness he'd seen. She really wasn't sure.
�I just wanted to see you.� He froze as he realised how that
might be taken. �Not like that. I
would have just talked to you had you not been�indisposed.�
"You did want
to see me 'like that.' Why else did you
open the damn curtain?� Aida seemed to realize that he was still close behind
her and that she was still in the towel.
"Will you go away? I have
to get dressed."
He nodded mutely and made his way out the door to take a
heavy seat on the couch. Why had he done it? She wouldn�t even talk to him now.
Couldn�t she see that he couldn�t help it? That all he wanted was to be with
her? He loved her. Why couldn�t she see that?
Aida locked the door behind him, getting dressed quickly but
not bothering to come out. She didn't
want to see him. She didn't. Her husband was flawed, their relationship
was flawed, but it was what she'd chosen.
He heard the door lock and his world crumbled around him.
Why would she do that? He would never ever hurt her. He couldn�t. She was
everything to him. Why is she hurting me?
I didn�t mean to do it. Doesn�t she know that? Doesn�t she know that I�d rather
die than hurt her? That I can�t stand the guilt of what I did to her? Doesn�t
she know? He only sank deeper into the couch as his thoughts continued to
run along these same lines.
Aida started to pace, chewing on a thumbnail. When would
Sands wake up? Would he accuse her for what had happened? She didn't want to
fight again. She was deathly tired of fights. All she wanted was her husband.
�Please come out, Aida,� Quentin called out pitifully. �I�m
sorry. Please. Talk to me. I won�t even move. Just�please.�
"No."
�Why?� he moaned. �I won�t try anything. I swear to you.�
"No. You've lied before."
�I�m telling the truth,� he pleaded.
"I don't care."
He just moaned again, sounding utterly bereft.
"It's not going to work, Quentin."
�Why not? Please trust me, Aida.
Please don�t do this. I�m sorry. Please forgive me. I never meant to hurt you.�
"It doesn't matter. Even if I trusted
you... I can't come out."
�Why not? I won�t do anything to
you, I swear on my life. I won�t even say anything to you if that�s what you
want. Please, just come out.�
"No." Aida closed her eyes and thought of her
husband. "Sands wouldn't want me to."
Quentin moaned again, banging his head against the back of
the couch in frustration and loss. �Please don�t do this,� he murmured
desperately. �Don�t let him rule your life.� Don�t let him ruin mine.
"I'm not. But I am being considerate of him." And I don't want to start any more fights.
�And what about me?� he muttered almost to himself.
"I'm sorry."
He just grunted.
Unsure of what to do next, Aida went over to the bed and lay
down. Soon she was dozing; partially asleep, partially listening for some sound
that indicated that she was no longer alone. She jumped when she heard the
doorknob rattle.
�Spitfire? Are you in there? Why is
the door locked? Are you alright?� Sands increasingly frantic voice traveled
through the closed door.
Aida jumped up and went to open the door. "I'm
fine," she assured him, swaying a little as she became lightheaded from
standing too quickly.
�Why did you lock the door?� Sands asked again.
"Quentin..."
Sands grew still before asking in a very clear, very cold
voice. �What did he do?�
"Nothing. He just showed up.
He wanted to talk."
�That�s all?� he asked warily.
"Pretty much."
�Pretty much, or yes?�
"Pretty much," Aida repeated.
�What does that mean?� Sands asked carefully.
"It means that there's something that happened that I
don't particularly want to tell you -"
�Tell me,� he hissed between clenched teeth.
"Well, he kinda...surprised...me
when I was in the shower..."
�Son of a bitch,� Sands whispered, neither saying nor doing
anything more. It was clear by the way a muscle jumped in his jaw though that
he was far from calm and collected.
"He stopped once he knew I had noticed him."
�Is that supposed to make it better?�
"I just don't want you to get upset -"
�Oh it�s a little fucking late for that, Aida,� Sands said
with a short laugh that was clearly a little on the hysterical side.
"Please, just take a deep breath -"
�I�m going to kill him,� he growled, either not hearing her
comment or simply just ignoring it.
"Sands, please. Stop
interrupting me. I didn't do anything wrong."
�Who says I was blaming you?�
"Well, you're not treating me very...kindly," Aida
said hesitantly. "I feel like my head is being bitten off."
�Would you like to see my teeth? There has been no biting,�
he muttered.
"Sands..."
Aida just fell silent.
�What would you have me do, Aida? Just leave him be and let
him go on doing things like this to you?�
"No. I believe I've said what I wanted," she
murmured. His voice was still rather harsh.
�And what was that?�
"You're talking to me in a way that makes me feel
like... It doesn't make me feel good. It
doesn't make me want to be around you."
Sands let out a bitter laugh. �Maybe I should just go then? Wouldn�t want to upset you.�
"You didn't treat me like this when we were first
together," she said softly.
�How am I treating you now, Aida? Do enlighten me.�
"Never mind," she whispered, turning back to the
bed. "I'm sure it's nothing."
�No. Tell me, Aida. If you want me to stop, you have to tell
me.�
If it hasn't gotten
through yet, it's not going to. And it's not enough that I want you to stop.
You have to want that too. "I'm sure I'm making something out of
nothing."
�Fine,� he muttered. �Don�t tell me. Whatever.�
"Stop it!" Aida twirled around. "Just stop
it, Sands. There's only so many times I can repeat the same thing before I get
the impression that you're not listening, and that kinda dampens my enthusiasm to repeat myself yet
again."
Sands started, completely unprepared for the sudden tirade.
�I-I�m listening, Aida.�
She sagged. If that was what it took to get his attention,
then she wasn't sure she wanted it.
Sands just remained silent, waiting for her to speak.
"I'm fine."
�Are you?�
Aida was silent for a moment before lying, "Yes."
�No you�re not.�
"Well, if I'm not, it still doesn't matter."
�Why not?�
"It just doesn't."
Sands frowned, but nodded. �Alright.�
Aida made a face at his acceptance, but didn't say anything.
Sands caught her face. �What?�
"Don�t mind me. I'm being a stupid girl."
�I just want to know what to do,� he murmured, looking
across the room into the corner.
Be my husband. Be the
man I married.
�Maybe I�ll just go�sit on the balcony or something,� Sands
murmured when she clearly didn�t have anything to say to him.
"No, don't go."
He stopped mid-step toward the balcony and turned to her.
�Oh. Alright. Didn�t really feel like going out there
anyway,� he muttered. �I don�t think I like balconies anymore.�
"Why...why can't we both be like we were?"
�What do you mean, Aida?�
"It's just...we're not who we were when we got
married."
�And who were we then?�
"We were nicer."
�Oh. Well�� he frowned. �I�m sorry, I guess.�
You guess... "Never mind."
�Tell me how to make things better, Aida.�
"I don't know how to."
That wasn�t what he wanted to hear. He selfishly wanted her
to say something like, �Oh alright. To make things better you do this,� et
cetera, et cetera. But he hadn�t really expected her to though. He didn�t
really expect much of anything from anyone anymore.
After several moments of silence, Aida said against her
better judgement, "You do know that I'm not exactly happy
though...right?"
�I figured as much,� he said softly.
"And while that's not entirely your
fault, that you did contribute a...a bit of it."
�Which bits?� he asked with a sigh and a slight slump of his
shoulders.
"I can deal with a lot, love, but not with... It's just
that..." Aida spluttered to a bit of a stop before slowly saying, "Do
you remember how we both felt when we first met? Do you
remember how you felt?"
He could have lied and said yes, but he honestly couldn�t
remember it anymore. Not now. He decided for a half-truth. �I was happier.�
"Do you remember what it was about me that made me
catch your eye?"
That he did remember. �Your smile.�
"And what made you come back?"
�I wanted to see you again. I had to see you again. I didn�t
really know why, I didn�t even really know you, but I knew that.�
"And now? How do you feel when
you think about me? What catches your eye? Why do you come back?"
�Still your smile, although I don�t get to
see it as much anymore. But more. Your honesty. That�s one of the things I love most about
you. The utter lack of deception and malice in your smile.�
"But how do you feel when you think about me?" she
asked, her voice almost pained.
�Right now?�
"Any time. When
I come to your mind unexpectedly."
�Sadness and selfishness. And love
and devotion and worship.�
"Why sadness?"
�Because of how I�ve changed you.�
Aida nodded and fell silent, waiting for Sands to ask his
own questions.
�Do you regret our having met?� he asked softly.
"Not usually. Not ninety-eight, perhaps ninety-nine,
percent of the time. Usually I'm content, if not deliriously happy."
�But you�re not now.�
"No. Not right now." Aida's voice was soft. She didn't
want to hurt him, but he did deserve the truth.
�And you can�t tell me what�s wrong. Specifically.�
"I could, but I'm not sure how well specifics would
help you."
�At least it would tell me what you don�t like abut me
anymore,� he murmured.
Aida was quiet for a long time, thinking about how she
wanted to phrase things. She didn't want to accuse him...it wouldn't be of any
use. She just wanted to solve their problems, but to do that, she first had to
state what her problems were.
"I...I don't feel like your wife anymore. At least I
don't very often."
�Why?�
"Well..." She sighed. "When we first
met...you were charming. I felt like you did what you could to make me
comfortable. You made me feel like I was someone...like I was your equal."
�And I don�t make you feel like that now.� It wasn�t a
question, more grim acceptance.
"Not...not often. Not since we left home."
�Things have been�more than a little�hectic since we left
home, Aida. It�s not an excuse�they just have been.�
"I know they have been, but I feel like the only reason
you have time for me at all is because you need me to always do something for you."
He nodded slowly, not denying that. �I know. I�ve been more
than selfish. It�s unfair to you and I�m sorry.�
"And then, of course, there's our...our difference of
opinion over..." She mimed shooting
a gun.
�Yes well�I don�t think we�re ever going to really resolve
that,� he muttered with more than a hint of bitterness in his voice. He didn�t
want to blame her for that-he knew he shouldn�t-but
damn, it was so easy.
"Oh..." She wasn't surprised by his reaction, but
it made her eyes sting anyway. "Yes...I suppose you're right."
Damn. You�re such a
fucking insensitive prick, do you know that? He did. This was all his fault. �I�m not right. I shouldn�t be. It�s
just�nevermind,� he muttered dully. �I�m sorry.�
"Don't be."
�Why shouldn�t I be?� he murmured, staring out the balcony
windows into the not quite bright sun of midmorning.
"It's not something you can help, so why should you be
sorry."
�Who says I can�t help it?�
"You have."
�I have?� he frowned, not really remembering that even
though they had really just talked about it. �Oh. Well maybe I was wrong.�
"And maybe you were right."
He sighed and took a seat on the edge of the bed,
positioning himself so that he could still stare out the balcony doors as if he
longed to be out there even though he made no move towards them. �Maybe,� he
mused. She could never fully understand or agree with him and keep her
innocence at the same time. If she agreed with him; if she agreed that he was
right to kill Roland, then that would mean that she would think that it was
right to kill. Or at least she�d be taking a step in that direction. In his direction.
And as much as he might wish that she understood him, he didn�t want that.
"Let's just say yes so we can stop fighting about
it."
He sighed but nodded. He was tired of fighting. �Alright. Yes.�
"Okay."
He turned to her and looked at her intently,
seeming to forget that there was anything else to look at in the room. �I do
love you, Aida. I don�t like fighting with you, and I�m sorry if I�ve made you
feel used and unwelcome.�
Aida shrugged. "Like I said earlier - it was your
turn."
�My turn for what?�
"For me to comfort you."
He just frowned again. �Not at your own expense, Aida,� he
said softly.
"I thought that was why they called it 'giving of yourself,'" she said softly.
He just shrugged. �I guess.�
She shrugged back, unsure of what to say.
�I know�we can�t really go anywhere with sunrise here, but
would you like to�take a walk through the hotel or something?� he asked, almost
timidly.
"Okay. Lemme just...get
dressed."
�Yeah me too,� he said, gesturing down to his robe and the
definite lack of anything else underneath.
"Right. Okay." Aida got
up and silently got dressed, not even sneaking a peek at Sands as he did the
same.
It was the same for him, but his reasons were that he didn�t
want to induce that bastard Quentin into making a
reappearance so soon. He simply dressed in silence, grabbing for his
usual leather pants and loose-fitting button down silk shirt out of habit.
When she was ready, Aida tied another bright scarf around
her head and turned around, waiting for Sands to say something.
He tried smiling and almost managed it. �You look nice,� he
said simply, meaning it.
"Thank you."
She took his complement, especially since she'd been expecting him to
frown when he saw that she was covering her head again.
He saw the initial surprise on her face and guessed the cause.
�The scarves are alright. I like them better than the wigs.�
"Oh...I-I'm glad."
�They�suit you. Very vibrant I guess.�
"Thank you." Her face softened a little.
�Shall we go? I don�t really have any destination in mind; I
just thought we could walk for a little while. Just us.�
"I think I'll like that." Aida held out her hand.
Sands took it with a small smile that came a little easier
this time. They walked hand-in-hand back out to the main room before he poked
his head into Salida�s bedroom to see if she was awake. Seeing that she wasn�t,
he frowned at the fact that he would have to go in to leave a note at her side.
He told himself he was being foolish, took a breath and walked in, quickly
penning a note saying that they�d be back soon on the pad of stationary on the
stable at her side. He then quickly moved out of the room to rejoin Aida. He
wasn�t as all out terrified of the room as he had been before, but he was still
a little uneasy when it came to being in it. Not enough to prevent him entrance,
but enough for him to practice avoidance.
"Should we get some food?" Aida asked as they left
the suite.
�I�m not really all that hungry, but if you want something
that�s fine.�
"No...I'm not hungry either."
�Then we can just walk.�
"Yes. That will be nice."
He just squeezed her hand a little and together they walked.
He genuinely didn�t have a specific destination in mind,
he just wanted somewhere quiet where they could be alone. He no longer let
himself wish that he could be alone
because he knew it would never happen. He would be never be
alone ever again. He would never be able to have a single thought that wasn�t
shared with god knows how many others. It wasn�t fair but it was what it was.
There was no getting around it. He was doomed to be this way until the day he
died. He tried not to let that thought depress him-he should have been used to
such a notion by now-but he was fighting a losing battle. Sometimes it was just
easier to give in. And there was a certain freedom in depression that he wouldn�t
quite have had otherwise.
In depression nothing mattered. He didn�t have to care
because he no one cared for him. He didn�t have to worry because no one was
worrying for him. He didn�t have to love because no one loved him. He simply
had to be. And if that became too much, well there was always suicide. He
didn�t have to worry about that either because the part of him that normally
rebelled against such an action in calling it cowardly and stupid was muted to
a mere buzz with the rest of such thoughts and ideas. In depression he was
finally free to do whatever he wanted. Well, that wasn�t entirely true, but who
cared?
"Sands? I do love you."
He nodded and kept walking, seemingly lost in his own
thoughts.
"Sands, I love you." She was going to keep repeating that until he
actually looked her in the eyes and said he understood.
�Alright. I love you too,� he
responded automatically.
"Sands, I love you."
�I heard you the first time, Aida,� he murmured, pressing
the down button as they came to the elevator.
No you didn't.
"I really, really, really love you."
�You don�t have to keep saying it. I get it. You love me. I
love you too,� he said as he stepped into the opened doors of the arrived
elevator.
"I love you as much today as I did the day we got
married."
�And I love you too, Aida.�
"I love you even though I'm not always happy with
you."
�Alright,� he said with a frown, pressing the button for the
lobby and dimly watching the doors close in front of them.
"I love you."
�Why do you keep saying that?� he muttered.
"Because I love you too much for you to brush it aside
or to let you not believe me."
�I�m not brushing it aside,� he argued dully.
"You're not taking the fact that I love you to heart
either."
�I�know you love me, Aida.�
"I love you more than you think."
Considering that his current bout of depression was causing
him to doubt whether she had ever really loved him at all,
that was probably true. He remained silent though; standing like a
statue until the elevator doors opened onto the lobby and he moved to step out.
"I love you."
�I know you do, Aida.�
"I love you."
�Why do you keep saying that?� he asked again as he turned
to her, the pair of them standing in the middle of the hotel lobby.
"Because I think you need to hear how much I love
you."
�Why?�
"Because sometimes I think you forget that I love you
very much."
�I don�t forget,� he murmured.
"I think you do forget that my heart is totally and
completely yours."
�I don�t forget. I doubt,�
he murmured, moving through the lobby swiftly as if to escape her and yet
clearly making sure she remained at his side as he walked. He wanted solitude.
He didn�t want to be here. Not now.
"Why? Why do you doubt when all you have to do is look
at me to see that you hold my heart in your hands?"
�I don�t�I don�t know. It comes on like a sudden squall; the
blackness.�
"Do I need to make you a badge to remind you? Should I
buy you a chain that you can keep my heart on?"
He frowned. �That won�t work.�
"What would?"
�Nothing.�
"Something must, my love."
�Nothing must. All bleak. All
black. All nothingness and no love. No trust. All death.�
"I'm alive. I love you. If you die, what happens to my
heart?"
�You don�t love me. I don�t deserve your love.�
"You have my heart. How can I not love you?"
�I don�t have your heart. I�ve lost it.�
"Then what will I do? Perhaps we should go find
it."
He laughed bitterly at that and took a seat in a empty
alcove of the main lobby; out of the main stream of traffic but not as quite as
quiet and alone as he would have liked. He just didn�t feel like wandering
anymore and he didn�t want to go outside.
"Tell me what's wrong, my love."
�Nothing. Nothing�s wrong,� he
frowned, the assertion sounding hollow in his own ears. �Maybe�I don�t know what�s
wrong, Aida. I�m just�bleak.�
"Tell me how to fix it, love."
�I don�t know how to fix it, Aida. I would tell you if did.
I don�t like feeling this way, but I can�t seem to help it.�
"You
don't have any idea of what might help?
Because you know I would do anything."
�Sooner or later it will pass on its own,� he murmured,
sinking a little deeper into the plush leather chair. �I think it will anyway.�
"I don't want you to have to wait that long."
He shrugged. �I�m used to it.�
"I don't want you to be used to it."
�It�s a little late for that, Aida,� he muttered. He�d been dealing with these�mood swings,
personality shifts, whatever they fucking were for a very long time.
"It's only too late if you let it be too late."
�Whatever that means,� he murmured.
"It means that instead of sitting on your ass, you have
to decide to feel differently."
�Some things can�t just be decided, Aida. If that were true I would have changed a lot of
things a long time ago.�
"Well I think this is one of things that you can. But if you're not willing to
try..." She stood up.
�And so that�s it? You�re just going to leave?� He snorted
as if he had expected this all along. �I guess I�ll see you later then.�
"That's
what I'm talking about," she hissed.
"You have a choice here, Sands.
You can sit here and stew in self pity, or you can come with me and try
to find a way to feel better."
�And if there is no way?�
"Well then at least you've tried."
�Fine. Whatever.
I�ll come,� he muttered. �Not like I have anything better to do.� He stood and
moved to her side, waiting for her to lead the way.
"Of course not. You never have
anything better to do. You know, that's your problem."
�What? You want me to get a hobby now?� he asked
incredulously. �I neither need nor want a hobby.�
"That's not what I meant and you know it. You're so
damned apathetic. Whatever happens happens, and you
have no way of affecting it at all."
He just shrugged, not denying it. It was how he was.
"And
you don't care." She gave a little laugh. "I guess I shouldn't care
either then, should I? It's just a waste of time and energy on my part. If
you're content to sit around and wait for things to change, I should be too. Right?"
�No. It�s not how you are. You fight for change. I never
have. Not really. Perhaps I should but I don�t. I�ve always been more of a que sera kind of guy than a carpe diem one.�
"But why shouldn't I change? What's the point of being so passionate about
changing for the better if you're not going to join me?"
�Because I don�t want you to change.
I like your passion.�
"Well, how am I supposed to know that?�
�I just told you.�
"I need more than words, Sands."
�What do you want from me, Aida?�
"I want you to at least make an effort to meet me
halfway."
�How?�
"I can't tell you how, but you at least have to want
to."
�If you can�t tell me how then how am I just supposed to
meet you halfway? How am I supposed to change if I don�t know what to change?�
He shook his head. �Forget it. Fine. I don�t like
feeling this way. I never have. I guess that�s enough to want to change it.�
"Thank you." Aida's voice was once again soft.
She'd been wondering if her attempt at tough love would work, and it appeared
as if it had. For the moment.
He just nodded, his stance clearly saying Whatever although he remained
silent.
"I do love you."
�I�accept that.�
"I don't want you to accept it. I want you to be able
to look into my eyes and see the truth of it."
He did look at her, but his face was still lined with doubt.
"No, come here."
She gently took hold of his face and rested her forehead against
his. "Now, look for it."
He tried, he really did. He tried to ignore the pounding
voice of doubt in his head but it was like trying to swallow the ocean. It
couldn�t be done no matter how hard you tried. He had attempted to make this
clear to her but she obviously didn�t believe him. But he did know that this
bout of depression would pass eventually and his moods would go back to
somewhere between manic and normal. It was just a matter of when.
"I love you," she whispered, kissing him softly in
the middle of the busy lobby.
A smile tugged at the corners of his lips after she had
pulled away. He couldn�t help it. �I love you too, Aida.�
"Then you believe me?"
He nodded. It wasn�t quite a lie, he did almost believe her.
"Good. I want you to. More than
anything."
�You do love me.� He tried to make it a statement, but the
doubt still lingered causing a hint of a question to be expressed.
"Yes, I do. Very, very, very,
much."
But did she before? He
wasn�t so sure. Does she love me now
because I�m doing what she�s telling me to? Is that it? �Good.�
"Do you want to walk some more?"
�I didn�t really want to walk in the first place. I just
wanted to go somewhere else for awhile.�
"Alright. And is this enough?
Or should we drive?"
He considered this. �I don�t really feel like going outside
though.� He shrugged.
"Okay. We can go back to the room if that's what you
want."
�It�s not. But then again, I don�t really know what I want
so I guess it�s as good as anything else.�
"We can wander hallways."
�Alright.�
"Is that what you want?"
�I suppose. I feel a little like wandering aimlessly.�
"Alright. I don't mind."
He nodded and led the way towards�well he didn�t know what
towards. That was the point. He just let his feet do the leading, not knowing
where he�d end up and not caring.
Aida just hung on to his hand and followed, not quite a step
behind, but not quite at his side either. But definitely close enough to be
near him which was what she wanted out of the whole deal.
Sands just kept walking, only half aware that Aida was still
at his side. He turned corners randomly, not seeming to follow any set path
whatsoever. He truly was just walking for walking�s
sake. It was like his normal pacing, only�extended.
"Sands?" After forty-five minutes or so of this, Aida
was starting to get a bit tired. "Sands? Do you
still need to walk?"
He wrinkled his brow a little in thought before shaking his
head. �No. I think I�m good. Do you want to go back to the room?�
"I am a little tired."
�Then we can go back. Sorry for dragging you along for�� he
trailed off, not quite sure how long they had been walking. �We�ll go back. I
think we passed an elevator a little while ago.�
"No, I wanted to come."
�Why? It�s not that I don�t believe you, I�m just curious.�
"I just wanted to be with you." She stopped him
and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"I just wanted to be with you. Wherever that
might be."
He gave her a crooked smile at that and wrapped his arms
around her waist, picking her up and twirling her around once just because he
could. Once he had set her back down, his smile had widened. �Thank you. I just
needed to�walk.�
"I know you did," she smiled back, leaning against
his chest. "Are you going to take pity on your poor wife's feet and carry
her back to our room?"
Her tired feet were lifted off of the ground before she
could even get the sentence fully past her lips. �Now�which room are we in
again? 4 something�412. That�s it. We seem to be on
the second floor although I don�t really remember riding up the elevator� Did
we take the stairs? Nevermind. Off we go.�
Aida laid her head on Sands' shoulder and closed her eyes,
sighing contentedly. This was just very, very nice.
Sands just walked back to the elevators, trying to keep
still as to not jar her too much in his arms. He garnered a few odd looks from
the people they passed, but he wasn�t really paying any attention to them. Nor
did he care. It wasn�t long before he had stopped in front of their door,
shifting Aida to one arm so he could fish out his keycard and open the door
without having to put her back down.
"Thank you," she whispered into his ear. "I
had a nice time."
�I�m glad,� he whispered back as he moved through the open door
and kicked it shut behind him. �Now what would you like to do?�
"I wish we had a jigsaw puzzle. Those are fun."
�Maybe we can go out and get one later. I don�t think I�ve
ever done one before.�
"I like them. As long as no one's
trying to eat the pieces."
She looked down. "Like those two vultures circling your feet."
�Do cats eat puzzle pieces?� he asked offhandedly as he
carried her through the room, trying not to trip on the gyrating purring balls
of fluff at his toes.
"I'm sure they'd give it a try. Babies do."
�Why would babies want to eat puzzle pieces?�
"Babies eat everything. Or at least everything that
they can get their hands on goes into their mouth. It might not stay there..."
�Right,� he murmured, trying not to think of the fact that
the day was drawing ever nearer when they�d have to deal with two of the little
things themselves. �Bed, couch, or standing?�
"Any way you like it, baby."
�And when I say all three?�
"Not all at once I hope."
�Hmm, well I�d say I could try, but since you hope not I
guess I�ll forgo the chance for now.�
"You're so sweet." She kissed his head.
�You bet I am. Want a taste?�
"I don't know. Do I? It sounds potentially
dangerous."
�But you�re a clearly dangerous sexual predator. I�ve seen
your teeth. Why would you be afraid of little ol�
me?� he asked with a smirk as he carried her into the bedroom and nudged the
door shut behind him.
"Well, there's always the chance that you'll...grow
up."
He laughed at that as he laid her on the bed. �Indeed.�
Aida sighed again and smiled up at her husband. "Hello
handsome."
�How are you doing, beautiful?�
"How am I doing or who
am I doing?"
His smile wanted to falter at the unintended reference to
Quentin, but he persevered. �Both, lovely wife mine.�
"I'm just lovely, and I'm about to do wonders for my
sexy husband."
�Are you now? Well I must say that your husband is an
extremely lucky man.�
"Not as lucky as he's about to
be."
�That�s what I like to hear,� he said with a wide grin,
leaning down to catch her bottom lip between his teeth and nibble on it a
little.
Aida sighed in pleasure and loosely wrapped her arms around
his shoulders.
He just continued his nibbling for awhile until he decided
that her neck looked more appealing. His hands moved to her sides, not really
touching anything, just there.
Aida closed her eyes and lowered her head. Her cheek slid
against his - she murmured her pleasure at the faint stubble there.
He quirked an eyebrow at her response and pulled away took
look at her, moving a hand to feel at his rough chin and cheeks. It wasn�t
much, but it was clear that he hadn�t shaved today. �You like that?� he asked
curiously. �I figured you would complain. Too sandpapery or
something.�
"Very masculine. I'd complain
if I were the one growing the
sandpaper..."
�So would I. I�ve got enough sand for the both of us,� he
said wryly before kissing along her jawline, enjoying
its smooth softness.
"Can I shave you?"
�If you want to, sure. I trust
you.�
"When?"
�Now? Afterwards we can get all soapy
and clean together.�
"Umm...you're going to have to lotion me up. One hot shower is good. Two is just asking for crocodile skin."
�And you thought I�d take issue with this? Of course I�ll
lotion you up, spitfire,� he said with a mischievous grin.
"Okay. You lotion me, I'll shave you." She kissed
his cheek.
�Sounds like a plan. Lotion after the
shower, right?�
"Yes. And I'll even let you choose."
�Choose what, spitfire?�
"What scent."
�Ah. Ok. I�ll take that. Shall we, my love?� He moved off of
her so that she could get up.
"Are we talking about a shower or a bath?"
He thought about it. Initially he had thought shower, but
soaking the bathtub with his wife for however long the water stayed warm
definitely had its appeal. �Bath.�
She grinned. "I think you have my undivided
attention."
He returned the grin easily. What
depression he had been feeling earlier had vanished, leaving only lingering
traces of doubt and weariness in its wake. �Then come on, wife mine. The
water�s getting cold.�
"The water hasn't been run yet."
�That�s because we�re still sitting here and not running
it.�
"Who's this 'we,' whiteman?"
Sands snorted but rose to his feet and affected a deep bow. �As you wish, milady.�
"Did you know you're cute when you're playful?"
�I did actually. I guess I�ll just have to take my cuteness
to the bathroom and draw you a bath, huh? Am I going to get paid for this?�
"Well, I suppose I've got a few dollars lying around,
but I thought you were more expensive." She looked up at him innocently.
�You probably couldn�t afford me, but you�ve got other forms
of currency that I�m certainly willing to accept.�
"And what, pray tell, would those be?"
�I�ll be sure and let you know when I send you the bill.�
With a grin, he moved off to start their bath.
"Will it be a big
bill?" she called after him. "Are you going to take inflation
into consideration?"
�It�s already getting bigger as we speak, spitfire,� he
called back with a wry chuckle.
"Think my wallet will be able to cover it?"
He smiled, thinking of what he could say, but settled for a short laugh and �I guess we�ll just
have to wait and see.�
"You won't keep me waiting for too long, will
you?"
�That depends. Are you going to pay your bill on time or am
I going to have to come after you?�
"I don't know. I suppose I could pay off the bill
collector..."
�I don�t have one. I do all my own work, reap all my own
benefits.�
"And if you have to chase down creditors?"
�I only have one, and she�s not so hard to chase down.�
"And do I know her?"
�Hmm, probably,� he said as he came to lean against the
bathroom door, looking across the room at her. �You�d definitely recognise her
if you saw her.�
"And just what does she look like?" Aida quirked an eyebrow as she propped
herself up on he elbows.
�Well let�s see. She�s pale, freckled, short of stature but
well-proportioned, with clear skin the colour of cream and beautiful brown
eyes. She has a few creases at the corners of her mouth and eyes from smiling
too much and I think they�re absolutely adorable.�
Aida ran a hand along the corners of her mouth before she
realized what she was doing. Warning him
with her eyes not to laugh, she lowered her hand. "How can this paragon
have clear skin if she has freckles and wrinkles?"
He shrugged. �She�s special that way. And I didn�t say
wrinkles. I said creases. And I like her freckles too. Someday I�m going to
count them all.�
"What if there's more freckles
than dollars in your fee? Still going to charge her?"
He simply shrugged again. �We�ll see. Now come on. The water
really is getting cold now.�
She held up her arms. "I'm spoiled."
�No, you�ve just learned how to take advantage,� he murmured
as he moved to pick her up.
"Isn't that part and parcel with being spoiled?"
He shrugged as he set her down on the edge of the bathtub.
�I like spoiling you.�
"Then come here and let me take off that shirt,"
she said with a wink and a smile.
�Is that me spoiling you or you spoiling me?� he asked as he
moved closer to her.
"Well...perhaps you�re despoiling me..."
�Perhaps,� he agreed with a smirk.
She made quick work of the buttons. Then she slowed her
actions and took her time running her hands over his chest. For a man he really
didn't have a whole lot of body hair. She'd noticed that before, but then as
now, she let the texture of his skin distract her.
�Having fun?� he asked with a bemused grin as he enjoyed the
feeling of her hands on his skin.
"Mmm-hmm..." Her palms lifted so it was just her
fingertips running over his skin.
�Good, because that feels nice,� he murmured.
Her fingers slipped through his belt loops to pull him
closer where she started to place soft kisses on his lower chest and belly.
He just sighed happily and arched into her touch a little,
letting his eyes drift half-shut.
Once she'd had her fill, Aida turned her head and simply
rested her temple against him, letting her eyes slip shut. His hips were still
held between her hands and she could hear the faint echo of his heartbeat.
�Well now that you�ve both sufficiently relaxed and
frustrated me in the same moments, it�s bath time.� Before she could respond,
he had already removed her shirt and stood her up so that she could remove her
pants, panties and bra as well.
"I was enjoying that," she murmured, letting him
undress her as he wished as she slipped off her headscarf.
�You can enjoy it more once we�re in the bathtub. I
promise,� he said as he nudged her towards the warm water while finishing
undressing himself.
"Actually, my head would probably be underwater if I were
to resume that pose."
�Probably, but I�m sure we can find a way to adapt,� he said
as he slowly stepped into the still hot water, pulling her down into the tub
with him so that she was flush against his chest.
"This isn't so bad I suppose," she sighed as she
settled herself more comfortably in the crook of his neck.
�Definitely not,� he answered with a bit of a sigh himself,
leaning back against the curve of the tub and simply letting himself relax. It
wasn�t an easy thing to do, but he was trying.
"Remember the tub in Hawaii?"
He nodded. �Surrounded by the near jungle in the bathroom?
Yeah. I remember. I remember I wanted to fall asleep in the tub but you
wouldn�t let me,� he said with a smile.
"I liked all those plants."
�Why? What did you like about them?�
"I don't know. I just liked all the greenery."
�Alright. I liked the windows. And the ocean.�
"Can we live near the ocean?"
�Sure. Which one?�
"Any. Except the Arctic."
�I wouldn�t have chosen that one anyway. Too
cold.�
"Yes. Much. And I wouldn't
want to be eaten by polar bears."
�Neither do I. It doesn�t seem like
a very pleasant way to end ones life. Death by polar bear is certainly not on
the list.�
Aida kissed his neck as she reached for the soap and a
sponge.
Sands hummed a little in contentment at the contact,
enjoying the feeling of her warm and slippery body against his.
"This is nice, isn't it?" She lathered the sponge
up then started to lackadaisically wash him.
�Extremely,� he agreed with a soft sigh, more than happy to
let her wash the tension out of him.
"I've missed spending time with you like this."
�I have too, spitfire. We haven�t gotten the chance to just
relax lately in awhile. I�m sorry for that.�
Aida would have said it was okay, except that it hadn't been.
Their relationship had been suffering from a lack of such closeness.
�I�m going to change that, Aida. I�ve missed you and I don�t like that.�
"I don't like it either." The hand holding the sponge came to a
rest. "I've missed you so
much."
�I�ve missed you too, Aida. But here I am. All yours. I�m not going anywhere,� he said softly. �I
promise you.�
"You mean, you won't be going
anywhere if you can help it."
�Yes,� he said, bowing his head slightly in acknowledgment
of her comment. �I wish I could promise more, but��
"Shh." She put a finger
on her lips. "I'm glad for what we have."
He nodded, trying to accept this.
"I do. I won't say that I don't wish that it wasn't
just us, but I don't blame you for it not
being just us. And I can be content."
�I wish that it was just us sometimes too, Aida. Actually, I
wish that a lot. Especially now.�
"Everything's going to be okay."
�How can you know that?�
"I don't. I'm choosing to be optimistic."
�Oh right. Optimism,� he murmured. �I�ve heard of that.�
"Yes, from me."
�Yes, from you.�
"And I'm a good teacher...while my lessons are
remembered at least."
He just shrugged. �I�m not saying that you aren�t, it�s just
that sometimes the lessons don�t stick like they should.�
"Well...with enough repetition, this one should
stick."
�What, that optimism exists? I realise that. I just don�t
always believe in it.�
"No, I believe my ultimate goal is to turn you into a
part time optimist."
�Then I�d say you�ve got your work cut out for you then. Best of luck.�
"Don't be like that," she whispered as she kissed
his neck.
�I�ll try,� he said as he arched into her kiss.
"I think we can do better than that, can't we?"
Her kisses became slower. Sexier.
�Definitely,� he breathed in-between kisses, his voice
becoming a little rough as his arousal realised itself again.
"For example, if I were to ask you what you thought
your chances of getting lucky were...?"
�I�d say they�re definitely looking up.� He considered this
realism rather than optimism, but he�d let her have the point.
"And how soon do you think you're going to hit the
jackpot?"
�Definitely sooner rather than later,� he murmured thickly,
looking up at her with lust-darkened eyes.
"I want a bed."
�Do you still want to shave me? If not, hell I�ll get you
your bed right now.�
She shook her head. "No. I like your stubble. Very
manly, remember?"
�Then bed you shall have.� With cautious but impatient
gestures he pulled them both up so they were standing and carefully stepped out
of the tub, gently pulling her with him. He didn�t bother with towels, they
would dry soon enough. He then swooped her off her
feet and carried her to the bedroom.
"I love it when you're autocratic," she murmured
in his ear, smiling a little at the way he was acting now that a decision had
been made.
�Well then, I shall strive to be so more often,� he replied
with a teasing smile once he had laid her upon the bed. He didn�t move to her
right away; he took the time to take a step back and appreciate the view of her
naked body upon the sheets instead. That didn�t last long however as looking at
her only made him want her even more.
"You're so cute when you can't decide what you
want," she murmured as he moved to kneel on the bed beside her.
He just gave her a wry smirk at that. �Too
many choices. Too kiss you, to touch you, to look at you, to simply bask
in your presence�� He shrugged and made a decision, leaning in to nip at the
soft skin of her neck and jaw.
"Hmm...I like the bit about you basking in my
presence," she sighed as she tilted her head back. "You'll have to do
that later."
�Who says I ever stop?�
"That's a very smooth answer."
He just grinned a little to himself and kept kissing and
nipping at her neck and jaw, his hands moving to her sides to dance upon the
expanse of her flesh.
"Sands," she groaned, rolling towards him.
"You're teasing."
�Am I?� he asked innocently.
"I think you are."
�And why would you think that?� he asked, keeping up the
mask of innocence. �I don�t tease. Do I? I never tease.�
"You do. Not with words but with your hands. And mouth.
And body."
�Well now, how about that. That is a realisation,� he
drawled, leaning down to lick the water off of her skin along the curves of her
breasts.
"You're not stopping."
�You didn�t ask me to stop,� he pointed out.
"I didn't?" Aida relaxed a little as she tried to
remember, and Sands took full advantage of her inattention.
He shook his head instead of answering her aloud, not
wanting to distract her into arguing with him. He simply continued licking the
water from her body like someone dying of thirst. He kissed the droplets from
her pale skin needing to quench the fire that was raging with him, yet only
fueling it further with every drop. His hands now began to move where his mouth
did not; striving to arouse her even further. He wanted her writhing beneath
him, and he wouldn�t be satisfied until he got what he wanted.
"You're not stopping," she repeated, curling
around him a bit in an effort to limit his roaming hands.
�Did you want me to stop?� he asked before moving his mouth
to one of her peaked nipples.
"I want you to stop teasing."
�Why?�
"Because you don't need to."
�But I like to.�
"I like to tease you and you tell me to stop."
�Well�that�s because I�m impatient and easily irritated,� he
murmured stubbornly.
"Yes well, you're making me rather impatient at the moment."
He pursed his lips in thought at this, briefly considering
making her wait anyway. He smiled a little at the clearly impatient set of her
jaw but decided to quit his teasing for now. He wanted to make her happy. He
wanted to please her. He wanted her to love him. And if getting all that meant
he couldn�t tease, that was more than alright with him. �Ok, spitfire. No more
teasing.�
"Thank you." She uncurled a bit. "Foreplay I
can deal with, but not teasing."
�I understand,� he said leaning down to lay a few slow kisses
on the curve of her breasts. He had had enough of teasing anyway. That she was
feeling a little impatient due to his teasing was nothing compared to how he
felt around her all the time. And when he finally got to give into that
impatience, when he finally got to give into his desires, the impatience only
became harder to bear before it got easier. With this thought in mind he kissed
her hungrily, his hands moving over her once more. Instead of teasing as they
had before, they served as conduits of his impatience and lust, striving to
show her how much he wanted her.
"Sands..." she murmured, her hands pulling at him,
moving over him, pressing against him.
"Yes...please..." He
made her feel hot and disoriented in the best possible way.
He grinned and wanted to ask �Yes please, what,� but he had
said that he wouldn�t tease so he remained silent. Instead, he gave her want
she wanted, to a point. He kissed her harder, his touches turned even more
arousing, but he didn�t take things any further than that yet. He honestly
wasn�t trying to tease her by denying her what they both wanted; he just wanted
to take some time. He wanted it to be special. They had not shared this level
of intimacy since�well since before that bastard had stuck his fucking nose in
their business. But he didn�t want to think about that. He only wanted to think
about her, so that was what he did.
Aida
gasped as Sands lightly rubbed his sandpapery face against the delicate skin of
her chest. It was like setting a match
to a fuse; her nerve endings went off in fireworks, causing her to pull him
ever closer as she alternately hoped he'd soothe her and that he'd do it again.
His grin only widened at her reaction, utterly bemused that
she seemed to enjoy his unshaven face so much. With this knowledge in mind, he
could only repeat the action; kissing her soft skin before and after he rubbed
his chin and cheek upon it, trying to both take some of the sting away and to
heighten the contrast in sensations, wanting to pleasure her even further.
She
shivered with combined sensation and delight.
There was something...elemental...about a man's unshaven face. True, she loved Sands to be clean shaven as
well, but there was something about the state of familiarity that bristles
implied that made her want to see him with a five o'clock shadow more often.
He laughed softly at her reaction this time. �Why do you
like that so much, Aida?� he asked curiously.
"Why
do you enjoy feeling my teeth scraping against your skin?"
He thought about it. �It�s extremely sensual somehow. Primal. It makes me want you all the more.�
"Exactly."
She leaned forward and kissed his adam's
apple.
He grinned even more and hummed at the sensation. �See, I
like it when you do that for some of the same reasons.�
"Why? Because
you think I could tear your throat out?"
He just kept grinning.
"You are twisted, husband mine."
�I know,� he said, his grin not leaving his face.
The
angle got too difficult - or painful - and she laid her head back down on the
pillow.
�Are you ready, my love?� he whispered, leaning over to nip
at her ear playfully. Before she could
fully answer, he had decided that she was for himself and thrust into her
slowly.
Once
again her breath was stolen as her body arched under his, taking him even
deeper inside. Aida let her eyes drift
shut as she clutched him and cherished the sensation of having her husband inside her, possessing her. Re-creating her.
It was the same for him. Nothing compared to this. Nothing
could. He took a moment to adjust to the whirlwind of sensation of making her
his again, of claiming her all over again. He needed this. He might not have
said as much before, or even thought it, but he did. He needed to expunge his
thoughts from Quentin�s taint, and this was a surefire way of accomplishing at
least some of that. It wouldn�t solve everything, but it would definitely help.
"Don't move," she asked in a breathless voice.
"Not just yet."
He wouldn�t be able to stay still forever, but he would give
her what he could. �Alright, wife mine. I�ll stay
right here. Just like this.� His voice was every bit as breathless as hers was.
She
breathed her thanks, and after a few more similarly heavy breaths, her eyes
inched open to gaze up at him. Her
heavily lidded eyes spoke of momentarily leashed lust and desire, and when she
ran her lips gently along his jaw, he could practically taste her need.
He nodded in response, letting himself focus on the feeling
of her body inclosing and surrounding his; offering a haven for his desires.
His face was tight with need for her though, and tension was visible in his
shoulders from having to restrain himself.
"I love you," she whispered, starting to bite at
his chin.
He moaned softly at the contact, his will hardened as his
body strove to loose the restraint he forced upon it and move within her again.
He wouldn�t let himself. She had asked him not to move and that was what he was
going to do. He would do anything to keep her happy, and if this was what it
took, then so be it. �I love you too,�
he responded a moment later, remembering that she had spoken.
"I can tell. I can feel."
He shook his head slowly. This wasn�t love, this was lust.
Still he held fast, not once considering that if he didn�t love her he wouldn�t
be forcing stillness upon himself.
"Yes. You're not moving. That's how I can tell."
�You asked me not to,� he said as if it were the most
obvious explanation in the world.
"Yes, but you'd do it anyway if you didn't love
me."
�I�d do what anyway, move? Or not move?�
"You'd never deny yourself if you didn't love me."
He acknowledged this with a slight nod of his head. She was
right, he wouldn�t. �I do love you, Aida. With everything I have.�
"Show me," she asked in a whisper; and even though
her voice was barely audible, it was heavy.
He let out a slow breath between her teeth at her tone;
loving it. With the briefest of nods, he began to move within her again,
looking down at her and feeling such utter love and trust that he was shaken by
it. A hand moved to her face, framing her jaw and tilting her head up slightly
so he could lean down to place a soft but undeniably passionate kiss upon her
lips. He kept his movements slow and sanguine, giving her every opportunity to
feel the whole depth and breadth of his love for her. He wanted to show her the
world. He wanted to show her everything. He would do anything for her. If she
asked him to slit his throat to prove his love for her he�d already be reaching
for his knife. �I don�t deserve you,� he gasped.
"Perhaps. But you have me. You'd best take care of
me." Aida's hips weren't long in setting up a matching rhythm, alternately
chasing and retreating from his.
�Always,� he vowed, kissing her again to seal his promise.
She
kissed him back roughly. He was treating her the way she liked him to treat
her. He was talking to her. He was putting his own needs aside for her. The
least she could do in return was meet his needs.
He returned the kiss with as much passion as he was given,
turning it into a violent, beautiful and vibrant thing. It made his blood boil
and his heart soar at the same time and all he wanted was more. When they
finally broke apart, his breathing was haggard with lust, his eyes clouded with
love and desire. �God I love you, Aida. I can�t say it enough. Ask me anything
and if I can give it, it�s yours. I only want to make you happy. I only want to
make you love me as much as I love you.�
"You
don't have to do anything to make me do that. I already love you."
He knew this was true because he was making her happy; he
was doing what she wanted. But that was alright. If that was what he had to do
to earn her love, then that was easily done. He liked making her happy. He liked
pleasing her. That wasn�t hard. But he nodded with a smile in response to her
comment anyway, letting her know he understood without saying the words. He did
understand. He merely kissed the side of her neck gently, making sure to rub
his cheek against her as he did so, wanting to give her pleasure.
And
he did; if she'd known his reasoning though, she would have stopped him then
and there. But she didn't know, and so she continued to respond
enthusiastically.
He smiled at her response, enjoying the soft gasping moan
she let slip past her lips immensely. His hands found their way to her breasts
where he massaged them slowly, wanting to push the boundaries of her arousal
even further but not quickly. He wanted this to last. He wanted to enjoy these
moments of intimacy with her for as long as he could. So while he didn�t tease,
he did keep his touches fleeting and slow, striving to draw out the experience.
"That...feels
good," she gasped brokenly. It was an understatement, but it was all she
could get out.
�I�m glad,� he whispered back. This was what he wanted; to
make her happy. That was all that really mattered. He had forgotten that
lately, but he swore to himself that he wouldn�t again. He often said that he�d
do anything for her; it was about time he practiced that.
"It feels good...for you?"
�Yes.� When she was happy he felt good.
"What
if I...?" She leaned up and gently bit his throat, playfully growling at
him.
He shivered in pleasure and delight at the gesture.
�Definitely good,� he murmured.
She
rubbed her cheek against his, letting out another growl, while her legs rose to
cling to his rapidly moving hips.
He moaned at the sudden barrage of sensation, loving all of
it. �Oh I love you, spitfire,� he gasped.
"Tell me again."
�I love you,� he said immediately, able to do nothing else.
�I love you, I love you, I love you.�
"And
I love you." Aida screwed her eyes shut as Sands...Well, I suppose he's screwing me, she thought with some amusement.
�I know,� he responded, loathe to go
without her attentions, but accepting it anyway. This was not for him. He
instead concentrated on the movements of their bodies joined as one, the feel
of her sweaty skin rubbing against his in a way that left him buzzing. There
was no pain, no worries, no fears, only her. She made
everything peaceful and safe and he loved her even more for it.
"You've
got me on pins and needles," she whispered a bit later. "I can barely
stand it."
�Slower or faster,� he asked his voice roughened with lust
again. He wasn�t as close himself, but he was certainly getting there.
"I'll
leave that to you. You always know how to satisfy me."
He couldn�t help but grin, a good deal of masculine filling
him at the reassurance that he could and did satisfy his wife. His first
inclination was to go faster, to service his own needs, but he told himself
that he could wait. This was for her, he had to remember that. Therefore he
opted for slow and sensual, rather than rough and quick. His kisses and touches
turned decadent and slow; wanting her to feel every second of passion he had to
offer her.
And
Aida hummed her approval, willing to let him eventually lead her over the edge
of her release. His hands and mouth created startling heat inside her; she
wondered if he could feel it. If he knew he was causing it. If he got off on
it.
He only kept grinning to hear her hum, loving the sound. �I
love it when you hum for me like that, Aida,� he whispered against her skin. It
let him know he was making her happy and that made him happy. With this
knowledge steadfast in his mind, he kept his languid pace. His kisses were
long; he took time to fully taste her skin with each one, and his touches were
exploratory; wanting to experience all of her that he could.
"How can I not?...Especially
when you're being so..." she gasped, "thorough?"
�I like being thorough. I like pleasing you,� he said with a
smile. �I like watching you lose yourself in your passions.�
"Loosing
myself...yes..." Aida tried to pull him down so that she could tuck her
head into his shoulder. Her pins and needles were getting worse. The end
couldn't be far.
Since he couldn�t really see to touch her anymore in this
position, he settled for kissing along her jaw and neck, gently nipping at her
earlobe on his path down. And still his hips moved as one with hers, their
bodies joined as closely as two people could be; proof of their love for each
other in every gesture. He knew she was getting close to finding her release
and dimly wished that he could join her before pushing the thought to the side.
Not about me. Remember.
"Baby..."
she whisper-moaned. �Oh baby...please. Fuck me. Harder."
How could he deny such a request? He did as she wished
without hesitation, letting his restraint go in that aspect at least. He thrust
into her as hard as he had wanted to hours ago, it seemed. Their bodies clashed
together with each bone-jarring thrust of his hips and he was quickly losing
himself to the sensation.
Her
nails were digging into his back now, occasionally dragging down his spine but
usually just kneading whatever was convenient. In addition, Aida's mouth was
wide open as she tried to gather enough air to sustain the delightful burning
inside her. Her hot, ragged breath washed over his chest and shoulder, and her
soft, helpless cries washed over his ears.
He was lost. She had driven him far past the point of
coherent thought with just a few well timed touches and moans and he couldn�t
help but be amazed by it. Or he would have been amazed if he could slow his
racing mind down long enough to decide that that was what he was feeling in any
case. His kisses and touches now took on a biting, desperate edge to possess
and consume her.
Aida
gasped as she recognized the change in him, and she forced herself to find the
words to ask, "What...do...you...want?"
�You.� It was the clearest
expression of his desires that he could manage. He had been pressed and had the
ability at present to answer her he might have given specifics, but that one
answer was enough for now.
"You have...me," she breathed as she nipped at his
ear.
�Not�enough,� he gasped, trying hard to make his needs
clear. �I want�pain. I want pleasure.� He had a good deal of the latter at
least, but not nearly enough.
"Pleasure isn't...enough?"
He frowned, trying to consider. �It�s�I don�t know,� he
gasped.
"It's more than...for me." Aida's head tossed briefly on the pillow
before she managed to pry her eyes open to look at him.
�Then it�s enough,� he agreed, tilting his head down to
ravage her lips, wanting to steal her breath away.
She gasped into his hungry mouth and her head started to
spin. There was nothing she wanted more than to kiss him back...but she
couldn't. All she could do was lay back and accept him because the rest of her
was focused on finally coming.
When he realised she wasn�t kissing him back he growled low
in his throat and nipped her jaw, but otherwise didn�t do anything. He
understood why she had stopped responding to him, and that was fine. It wasn�t
right of him to ask for anything anyway. He shouldn�t have been dissatisfied
with the pleasure she gave him in the first place. It wasn�t right. This was
her moment in the sun, not his. This was her moment of pleasure and he was
determined to make it worthwhile.
He was taking too long. Practically driven out of her mind,
Aida threw herself forward, pushing at his shoulders. It was only because she
had surprise on her side that she was able to turn the tables on him. Once he
was on his back, she started grinding against him, growling as she took what
she wasn't getting.
Oh sweet holy fuck
what is she doing to me? The thought skittered across his mind as he moaned
inarticulately at the contact of his back hitting the mattress and her body
pressing down on him; his hands darting out to tease and massage her breasts,
his hips lifting off the bed to counteract her weight as they could. It
shouldn�t have been hard to buck her off of him given her frail state, but she
was a woman possessed; determined to claim him and he couldn�t help but be
driven out of his mind himself at the prospect. �Aida, Aida, Aida,� her name
was a fervent cry on his lips; a hoarse whisper that clawed its way up from his
belly. He would have kissed her had he the chance, but as he couldn�t lift
himself up to meet her, he couldn�t only look upon her face with desire and
longing as she mercilessly rode him.
Suddenly Aida froze... A harsh cry escaped from her mouth as
she first went stiff as a board and then started moving even more frantically.
He couldn�t take it anymore. All rational thought had flown
out the window the moment she had asserted he needs by flipping them. Now with
her cry still bouncing off the walls and ringing in his ears, he growled and
took action. Practically throwing himself up off the bed, he sat up so that her
breasts were flush against his chest, and he could feel the frantic tattoo of
her heart in time with his own. This limited the range of motion for both of
them as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her tightly against
him, but he didn�t care. He only wanted her in his arms and would do anything
to ensure that. She was his and he was not letting her go again. And even
better, in this position he was close enough to steal his kisses. It didn�t
matter that she was too far gone to really respond; he couldn�t care less. He
selfishly took what he wanted from her, kissing her rough enough to bruise,
still not caring. His hands moved to the curve of her ass and he began to pull
her against him in time with his thrusts, grunting each time their bodies connected,
lightening dancing before his eyes at the sensation. And still he wanted more.
Kissing her lips wasn�t enough so he moved on to her neck, intent on marking
her as he always was; determined to show to anyone who looked who she belonged
too. If she�d let him he�d etch his name across her skin; brazenly declaring
who her master was. No. Not master.
Equal. Superior. She�s not a possession, you son of a bitch. Don�t you ever
think that.
"Sands," she moaned as her climax released her
senses. It'd been a dazzling flight, as if her husband had managed to crowd her
out of her own body, and now that she was coming back to herself she thought
that perhaps that was what had happened. He was so deeply inside her, filling
her so completely, still thrusting into her so ruthlessly. All she could do was
gasp his name, unsure whether she was thanking him or pleading with him to
stop.
He couldn�t respond even if he had wanted to. All he could
do was service his own needs, ignoring everything else but that. If she had begged
him to stop at this moment, he didn�t think he would be able to. He had far
passed the point of no return, and if she couldn�t see that then she was blind.
He could only hang on and push himself to his own release. Just a little bit further. Then you can rest. Just a
little bit further and bliss. He began to moan as he felt his climax
building. He threw back his head and strove to surrender to it for that was all
he could do.
"Sands," she murmured into his neck, her teeth
scraping against his skin. "Yes."
As his climax raged he held onto her tight enough to cut off
her breath as he needed something to hold on to; a tether to keep him sane in a
moment of blissful insanity. He was dimly aware that he was saying something,
probably her name, but beyond that nothing else mattered. His entire body shook
with the force of his release, but that didn�t matter either. The only thing
that mattered was that this moment was perhaps the truest peace he would ever
feel. And that he felt it within her embrace was beyond words. �Anything,� he
gasped when he had his voice back. �Just ask. Anything, Aida.
I mean it.� He did. He would do anything and everything for her at this moment.
If she asked him to never kill again, he would promise it without regrets. The
regrets would come later, but at the present he would mean every word.
"What do you mean?" she murmured, her lips still
pressed against his neck.
�What do you want? Ask, and I�ll give it to you.�
"I want us to be happy again," she replied without
hesitating.
�Then we will be. Anything for you, Aida.
Anything.�
"I'm glad."
Aida's eyes drifted shut.
"Nap with me?"
�Anything,� he whispered again, too incredibly�blissed�to do
anything but agree to her every wish and desire.
"You're going to have to lie down."
For a moment he blinked at her, not comprehending, but then
he realised that he was still sitting up on the bed. �Oh. Yes. Ok. I�ll do
that,� he said as he slowly lay back down again, taking her with him as he did
so.
"This is nice," she murmured, turning her head a
bit so it was easier to breathe.
He just nodded. In truth, she was squishing him a little,
but he couldn�t have been happier. �I love you, Aida,� he whispered.
"I know you do.
But I still love hearing it."
�I love you, I love you, I love you.
I�ll say it a thousand more times if it will make you happy.�
"Maybe later." She
yawned.
�Rest then, my love.�
"Yes. Lots of rest. With you."
�With me,� he agreed, more than happy to do so.
"Love you."
�Love you too,� he responded with a lazy grin.
"Hold me?"
�Of course,� he said as he wrapped his arms around her,
tilting his head a little to kiss her forehead as he did so.
"Thank you."
�You don�t have to thank me, Aida. You never have to thank
me. I would do anything for you. This is easy. And fun.�
"Oh." Her tired brain accepted that since it
couldn't process it.
�Oh, indeed,� he murmured with a small smile, letting his
eyes drift shut as his head sank back into the pillow. �Are you cold, Aida?� he
murmured a few moments later.
"No. You're warm."
�So are you,� he said with a smile. �An Aida-shaped blanket.
Very nice.�
"Not long enough."
�I�m not complaining.�
"Oh. I'm going
to sleep now."
�Ok. Don�t drool on me in your sleep,� he teased gently.
"Don't drool," she muttered.
�Good to know. Maybe I will instead,� he murmured, not
opening his eyes.
"Fine."
He didn�t answer, not wanting to prolong a discussion when
clearly they�d both rather be sleeping in each other�s arms.
Without anything to keep her awake, Aida soon drifted off. She once or twice wiggled about to find a more
comfortable position, but was otherwise still.
Sands was more than happy to follow her, slipping into a
dreamless sleep, his only movements being occasional unconscious checks to
reassure himself that she was still there. She was still there. She was
content. He was loved.
***
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More Than Darkness