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A Fair Trade	By : sesshoumarusmistressofthewest Category: 1 through F > Beetlejuice Views: 4507 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the Beetlejuice franchise nor do I make any money from this. I just like to use them for my own twisted amusement and that is payment enough.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the Beetlejuice franchise nor do I make any money from this.

The next morning was like any other morning for the tiny family and no signs that the couple had even argued the night before. The young mother made breakfast, as usual, then her husband took his leave with a kiss and a wink.
After Betelgeuse had gone, Lydia had cleaned up their messy little girl then went about her daily morning routines. About an hour before noon, she found herself carrying a basket of clean clothes into the living room and dropping her butt on the couch. Setting the basket next to her, she turned to the side table to grab the remote to change it to another kid's show that didn't want to make her throw up the last of her breakfast. Her wandering gaze slid over the table and halted on the phone
Last night came to the forefront of her mind, and she sighed profoundly eyeing the phone some more. The young mother wondered if it wouldn't just be better to call her family and get the shit over with. She bit her lip and weighed her options: either they would be upset or wouldn't be? Plus, even if they did wind up being mad at her, it wouldn't be the end of the world. Sure she would be hurt, but having her husband there would help cushion the fall. Her dark eyes closed for a second then sucked in a few calming breaths as she thought about her poltergeist and his words. Betelgeuse had been right when he said that all that mattered was that they make each other happy and all the rest was insignificant. If her family couldn't respect the way her life was heading, then they didn't deserve to be in it.
Okay, well hell, she was going to do it. She was going to call and tell them. Dear someone, please help her. Reaching over, she picked up the phone and with shaky fingers, dialed her parent's number. Her heart slammed against her chest as her hand became clammy while she waited for someone to pick up. The phone rang in her ear once, twice, and by the third ring, the familiar voice of her stepmother came on the line. "Hello Deetz residence, Delia speaking."
Suddenly her throat tightened, and Lydia found herself at a loss for words. Oh god, what was she supposed to say? How the hell do you start a conversation about marrying your family's greatest foe? Taking in a deep breath, she tried to shove the anxiety to the wayside and forced herself to greet her stepmother. "H…h…hi Delia. Um…could you get Dad and the Maitlands? I have something I need to tell you guys." Even though the nervous woman wouldn't be able to hear the ghostly couple over the device, she wanted them there, nonetheless. It just felt wrong to tell her parents and not the Maitlands. The ghostly couple deserved hearing it straight from her and not from Delia and her father.
On the other side of the phone, she could hear the panic that had taken over Delia's tone when she spoke next. "Lydia dear, what is it that you need to tell us? Did something bad happen? Are you and Lucinda, okay?"
The nerves she had been experiencing were hastily replaced with irritation as Delia ignored her request. For fuck's sake, she just wanted to get this over with. The urge to snap at the woman was overwhelming, but Lydia bit her tongue and tried to prompt the conversation along. "We're fine, I promise. I just have something that I'd like to tell you guys. It is quite important though, so could you go and get them, please?"
Her stepmother seemed to hesitate for a second as if she were going to push for more just like Delia always like to do, but instead, she quietly agreed. "If you're sure that you're okay, then I'll go get them. Just let me transfer you to your father's office."
Lydia appreciated the worry, but she and Lulu were good. Hell, they were more than good. "Okay, thanks."
The clicking sound of the changing of lines came then went. Suddenly her father came on the line and called out to her. "Hello? Lydia? You there, pumpkin?"
Hearing her father's voice seemed to calm some of her nerves, and she relaxed slightly. "Hey, dad. How you been?"
"I'm good. I just been busy with work and helping Adam with his model. Oh, your mother has me on a new diet to help lower my blood pressure and…." She heard Delia cut him off by lightly snapping at him to put the phone on speaker so that they all could hear her. Lydia listened to the pressing of buttons, then her father's voice was back asking her a question. "Can you hear us, pumpkin?"
"Yeah, I can hear you just fine." Confirmed the young mother on the couch while she folded a shirt.
Delia's voice sprang out from the speaker and cut to the chase, "Now Lydia, my dear, what was it that you wanted to tell us?"
The nerves that had died down began to flare up again and caused Lydia to swallow roughly before continuing. "Well, you see. Um. I got married." There she said it, and it was like a ton of bricks had been lifted from her shoulders. Wow, why didn't she do this before? Hmm, her husband had been right. She wouldn't tell him that, though. No, she didn't need him gloating around the house and gloat he would.
Suddenly there was a lot of yelling on the other side of the line, triggering Lydia to pull the phone away from her ear and cringe. "WHAT! WHEN? WITH WHO?" Her irritation reared its ugly head once again, and she had to bite back the urge to snarl at them. Shit, they didn't need to fucking yell.
It was Delia's worried voice that asked the next question. "Lydia Deetz, you didn't marry him, did you?" Lydia knew who the woman was referring to. After the incident, her stepmother had refused to address Luke by his given name. She claimed he didn't deserve any respect for what he did her kid and grandbaby. That was another time that Delia had shocked her with another round of unexpected revelations.
Lydia blew some stray hair out of her eyes before answering her worried stepmother. "No, I didn't marry Luke and um...it's Geist now, not Deetz."
"Geist? What kind of name is that? Just who is this man that you married?" Delia's voice shot out again, and Lydia knew she couldn't tell them that she had married the poltergeist that had once terrorized the family, especially over the phone. It just didn't feel right to blurt something like that. She had enough respect for both to know they deserved the truth in person.
"Have we met him before, pumpkin?" She ignored her stepmother's questions and answered her dad. "Yeah, you've met him before briefly, though it was a long time ago. We've been seeing each other for some time now." So, she skirted around the truth on this one. It wasn't a lie, and it wasn't the full truth, but it would have to do for the time being.
Delia quickly jumped in with another set of questions. "Why the shotgun wedding? Are you pregnant?"
Pregnant? Where did Delia get that? Why does everyone think that if you have a quick wedding, then you must be pregnant? Sure, she hadn't been feeling good and was moody as hell, but that didn't mean she was pregnant. Her nauseous stomach suddenly rolled, and Lydia paused in thought. No. That's not fucking possible. She couldn't be. Right? Oh shit, shit, shit, shit! She didn't need this right now, not when she is dealing with them. Her brain can only compute so much, and she was at her limit. Lydia shoved her new revelation and the panic away denying the accusation. "No, I'm not pregnant, and the marriage was a spur of the moment decision at the time."
"At the time?" The sound of Delia's tone had Lydia picturing the mature woman's lightly wrinkled face scrunching up in displeasure while manicured hands rested on her hips as she continued sharply. "Just how long have you been married for?"
Okay, now was the time that it might get messy. She ran her small hand through her dark strands and hesitantly spoke. "Well, you see…we wanted to have time to get things settled before we told anyone. We've been married for three months now…"
"WHAT!" More yelling came over the line, and Lydia winced. Seriously would they stop with the fucking shouting?! She could hear them just fine without it.
The young woman once again pushed back her rising irritation and tried to smooth things over by admitting defeat and throwing herself to the wolves. "Sorry, I really am! I know that it was a long time to wait and tell anyone, but as I said, we wanted things to settle and have time to adjust. We would like to come and visit so you can all meet. I was thinking soon if that is alright with you guys?"
The excited shout of Delia's overshadowed the voice of her father. "That sounds like a wonderful idea! How about this weekend? Would that work for you both?" exclaimed the happy woman through the speaker. Who knew that suggesting a meeting would be all that it would take for Delia to forgive her.
Lydia had no clue but agreed anyway to speed up the conversation. "Yeah, that should be fine. How about Friday at noon?"
The sound of Delia clapping her hands together echoed in her ear, "Oh, that would be perfect. I'll make lunch for us!"
Um. When did Delia start making lunch? When did Delia start cooking period? Lydia shook away the thoughts and hurried to answer her waiting stepmother. "Sure…" She needed to get off the phone before they realized that she never really told them anything about her husband. "Sorry to cut this short, guys but Lulu seems to have woken up from her nap and is a little cranky. It was good talking to you all, and we are sorry that we didn't let you guys know sooner. We will see you this weekend."
They seemed to buy the excuse easily and let her go with no more questions much to Lydia's surprise. "Okay pumpkin…" Her stepmother cut off her father like always. "Lydia dear, we will see you this weekend at noon and don't be late."
Lydia rolled her eyes while fighting the sarcasm weighing down her tongue. "We won't be. See you on Friday. Bye." she chirped before hanging up and tossing the coreless on the basket.
'Oh my god.' Lydia thought to herself as she let out a ragged breath and fell back against the cushions. It was over with, well part of it was anyway. It would be easier to handle them in person, and Betelgeuse would be there to help her. He would help her, right? Shit, he would behave himself, wouldn't he? Fuck, she really hoped so.
Her stomach rolled nauseously, bringing her back to the thoughts she had pushed aside and ignored. She covered her arm over her eyes and bit her lip nervously. Pregnant? Was it even possible? Betelgeuse had never said anything, so protection had never come to mind. Lydia assumed that they were okay on that aspect. Shit, he was dead after all. The dead couldn't reproduce, right?
Another sigh left her, and her stomach rolled some more. Pregnant? Oh god, what were they going to do if they were? They haven't even been married for that long and Lucy was only 8-months-old. Shit! Would he be pissed? Would this be too much for him? Would he want to leave? Her stomach continued to churn as she worried about how she was going to tell her husband and what the poltergeist would do.
Lydia wasn't sure how long she had sat there for, but it must have been for some time because she heard her husband's voice calling for her from the kitchen. She quickly sat up and silently cursed herself. Damnit, she had forgotten about lunch. The sudden urge to cry slammed into her, and she buried her face in her hands. Ah, crap. Here was the roller coaster of emotions yet again.
"Babes?" She heard her husband come into the room, and the sound of his heavy boots slapping against the wooden floor as he drew closer.
Once the poltergeist got to his distressed wife, he knelt and pulled her hands away from her face, his tone infused with concern. "Baby? Hey, what's wrong?"
Tears pooled in her brown eyes, as her lip quivered, and she debated on which subject she should go with first. Yes, her parent and the visit were important but not as important as the possibility that she could be pregnant. "I…" Swallowing thickly, she struggled to carry on. "I think… I might…" She hiccupped and cried some more, as she continued. "be pregnant…"
The poltergeist froze, his mouth dropping open for a few seconds before he shook his blonde head and questioned his tearful wife. "Come again, Babes?"
She tried to repeat her words through the tears and the sniffling. "I…think…I…might…be…pregnant."
"Pregnant?" Betelgeuse parroted but said nothing else as he stared at her in shock.
Lydia shook her raven head and peered at her stunned husband, confirming his words. "Yes, pregnant."
"Pregnant?" copied the man blinking owlishly.
Nodding her head, she just replied with another confirmation in a hushed voice. "Yeah…Maybe…"
Several minutes passed, and Betelgeuse still hadn't said anything back. He just continued to stare blankly at her as if his mind had crashed and required a reboot.
The overwhelming sadness that suddenly swamped the small woman mere minutes ago began to dissipate just as quickly. It left her with red eyes, a stuffy nose, and a severely shaken husband. Her forehead crinkled in worry as she watched the unusually silent specter. Normally, Lydia couldn't get this man to shut up and now, well he was quiet as the dead. The irony was unlost on the woman while she continued eyeing the stunned man in concern as thoughts ran rampant. Why was he being so quiet? Shit! Did she break her husband? Oh my god, did she just break the most powerful poltergeist by telling him she might be pregnant? She pulled her hand from his and raised it to his face, whispering to him, "Betelgeuse?"
His name seemed to snap him out of the shock, and his green eyes flicked back to hers. He licked his lips while struggling to swallow. "Pregnant?"
Even though she felt relief when her husband finally responded, teeth dug into her bottom lip as he continued saying the word over and over. Was he still broken? Why did he keep on saying that? She observed him running a shaky hand through his light locks mumbling the word some more and felt the urge to laugh. The situation itself wasn't funny, though Lydia was beginning to see the irony in it. Moments before she had been hysterically sobbing all the while her ghostly partner knelt in front of her stuck-on repeat. Lydia bit more of her lip to try and stop the amusement that wanted to surface only to fail miserably when a bunch of giggles spilled violently passed.
The poltergeist watched as Lydia suddenly broke out into a fit of laughter. He soon found himself barking out a laugh of his own at the absurdity of it all. When they both settled down, Betelgeuse sat back on his heels and thought about what his little wife had told him. "So, you could be pregnant?"
Lydia ran her hand through her hair and answered softly. "Yeah. I didn't think about it until Delia had said something and the more I thought about it, well it does kind of fit. I haven't been feeling good, and I've sure as hell been moodier than usual."
The poltergeist wasn't going anywhere near that shit, and instead, he commented on the part about her stepmother. "So, you talked to Red?"
Her head angled to the side and brows furrowed deeply trying to remember what had been said. Did she say she talked to Delia? Oh shit. Well, she had wanted to focus on one issue at a time, though the slip of the tongue wasn't a bad thing and lead into a nice segue. "Yeah, I did…."
Betelgeuse grinned widely, eyes twinkling while his tone colored with curiosity. "Whatcha talk about, babe?"
Lydia recognized the look her dearest husband was shooting her way and sniffed haughtily. Oh, he was waiting for her to say something like nothing much then he'd add, why didn't you tell them, Babes? Ha, this time she did so he could go sit on it. "Actually, I told them I got married."
He let out a whistle and clap his hands then rubbed them together gleefully. "No shit, about fuckin' time. How'd they take it?"
They didn't have a meltdown, though that could still happen, they did still have the weekend after all. Her gut twisted, and she knew her husband wouldn't like what she said next. "Better than I thought, though…I didn't tell them who I married."
His brow puckered, and the gleeful grin melted into a frown. He dragged his fingers roughly through his hair and snared at her. "Babe, Seriously, what the fuck?"
"I was going to tell them, but it just didn't feel right." She gave him a nervous smile and continued. "They did invite us this weekend, and I told them that we would go. I thought it would be better to tell them in person. It's the right thing to do, Betelgeuse."
He didn't say anything for a few minutes then he sighed loudly and reached out to tuck of a piece of hair behind her ear. "If that's what you want, babe, then we will go see the fams and tell them in person."
Her eyes lit up, and she questioned him in surprise. "Really?"
Betelgeuse shrugged his broad shoulders as he replied. "Why the hell not?" Tipping back his head, he cackled loudly then rubbed his hands together in glee once again while his bright eyes glowed mischievously. "I can't wait to see their fuckin' faces when they see me. Do ya think I could borrow your camera, Babes?"
She stared at him, a frown and crumpled brows marring her features as she shook her head. "No, you cannot, and you are going to behave, aren't you? Betelgeuse, I don't think I can handle any more stress. Not with them not knowing that you're my husband, Lulu being fussier than usual and the possibility that I could be pregnant…" She pointed to her stomach and bit her lip while giving the poltergeist a pleading look.
A sigh of frustration sprang from him, and he rubbed a hand over his face before answering his tiny wife. "Fine, I won't do any shit to them." Another sigh left him while he forged on with his words, "So, we should probably go get that test, right?" He gestured to her stomach. "To see if my kid is a brewin' in there."
Her hand rested on her belly, and her gaze went from her husband to her churning stomach as she shook her dark head in agreement. "Yeah, we probably should."
The poltergeist stood up and adjusted his suit. "Okay sweets. I'll be back." He bent down to kiss her, then blinked out of sight.
Once her husband was left, Lydia glanced at the playpen and realized that Lucy had fallen asleep through everything that had been going on. Running a palm over her face a couple of times, she got up and moved to the pen, reaching in to cover the little girl. With that done, she then headed towards the kitchen to make them something for lunch.
By the time that she had lunch on the table, her husband was back with a plastic bag in his hand. He lifted it to eye level and sneered at the bag as he spoke. "How many fuckin' types of pregnancy tests do you women need? Seriously, babe. Fuckin' ridiculous."
Her dark brow cocked as he handed her the bag then made his way to his waiting lunch. Lydia held the bag with both hands peering into it. As her husband stated, he had indeed gotten several different tests and some condoms. She pulled out the prophylactics and held them between her fingers. "Why do we need condoms?"
Betelgeuse turned up from his sandwich gaze flicking to the condoms before coming back to her with a cheesy grin. "That's for if we're not knocked up. You know safe sex and all that fuckin' jazz." He gave her a wink, while he bit into his sandwich and groaned in delight.
How could this man be so calm when not even a couple of minutes ago he had been the complete opposite? How did he function? It was like the information was processed, and now the specter was okay with it all. Was he not worried? Did he even care? Everything could change for them, and here Betelgeuse was eating his lunch like it was a normal day. Seriously, what was going on in that head of his? Lydia levelled her eyes and tossed her head about before dropping the condoms back in the bag. Leaving her husband to his lunch, she hurried to the bathroom to take one of the many tests that he had gotten.
Minutes later, the nervous newlywed eyed the little white test resting on the back of the toilet. She groaned at how long it seemed to be taking. Three fucking minutes and it felt more like an eternity. It didn't help that staring at the damn stick wasn't making time move faster.
She twisted around to leave the small room and jumped when she spotted her husband leaning lazily against the now open door. When the hell did he come and How did he get the door open without her hearing it? What was he now, Houdini?
His gruff voice reverberated throughout the room as he spoke, "How long do ya have to wait, Babe?"
Lydia crossed her arms under her breasts and huffed in exasperation. "Three minutes."
"And how long has it been?" He asked, blinking at her curiously.
Was he trying to irritate her? Probably not, but it sure as hell felt like it. She frowned in frustration and stomped her tiny feet. "A minute. One goddamn long and stretching minute!"
Betelgeuse's lips twitched quickly in amusement before he motioned for her with a flick of a few fingers. "Come here, baby."
A frown still marred her face as she released a small sigh and made her way to her husband. When she reached him, his hand snagged out grabbing her waist and pulling her flush to his chest. A cheeky smirk painted his features while he peered down and started to mess with his annoyed wife a little bit. "Now it's probably been two minutes." quipped the poltergeist and laughed when she tried to pull away.
Annoyance sparked in her eyes and Lydia lightly slapped at his chest. "Not funny asshole!"
The dead man chuckled some more than leaned down to rest his forehead against hers as he spoke, "Hey seriously though relax, sweets. No matter what that fuckin' stick says, we'll deal with it together. I'm not goin' anywhere, okay?"
Her annoyance disappeared as her husband went from aggravating to caring in a single stroke. Her tone losing its edge when she exhaled in relief from the much-needed words. "Okay."
"Good. Now go check that damn test." He spun her around, pushing her towards the applicator and giving her ass a quick smack. She jumped at the contact and glanced over her shoulder to give her husband a glare, which he just returned with a grin and wink.
Releasing a breath and a roll of her eyes, Lydia turned back to the task at hand and made her way to the toilet. Her stomach twisted in nerves as she gingerly picked up the stick. Looking down with shaky hands, the anxious mother took in the results. 'Oh god,' thought the woman when she spied two little lines in the applicator. Fuck, she was indeed pregnant. They were pregnant. Holy shit!
Her husband's voice came closer, causing her to jump once again and tilt her head up to see him peering over her shoulder. "So what do two lines mean, sweets?"
How was she supposed to tell him? Should she just blurt it out just like ripping off a band-aide or…Oh, she knew exactly what she was going to say to her dearest poltergeist. A smirk threatened to tease her lips as Lydia batted her eyelashes innocently and responded with a hint of playfulness in her tone. "It means we're not going to need those condoms…"
Seconds later, Betelgeuse's boisterous and rough laughter could be heard echoing throughout the house.
-So what do you think? I thought having a pregnant Lydia and a baby would be enough drama for the little family. Raising a kid is fucking tough, but throwing in a pregnancy in the mix makes it even more complicated. It is also fall and we all know that it's a big time for colds.
I have a question for you all. How do you think Neitherworld(Netherworld) is spelled? I've seen two different ways and I'm wondering which one is the correct version to use?
well I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and please don't forget to review. :)
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A Fair Trade