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State Your Name	By : MarianTheBlackadder Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (All) > Het - Male/Female Views: 4558 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own the Pirates of the Caribbean movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Needles and Pins

            The next morning, sunlight began to show through the drapes of Beckett’s bedchamber. It had been a long night for Bonnie. Not a moments rest or a wink of sleep had been had. Cutler was relentless in his lovemaking, touching and caressing every inch of her body. Even though she was stubborn, he was determined to bring her pleasure weather she would enjoy it, admittedly or not. Beckett couldn’t get enough of the taste of her lips, the feel of her warm soft skin against his body, the touch of her breasts against his chest with each labored breath.

            When at last he reached yet another climax, he groaned in pleasure into her mouth as he pushed himself deep within her quivering womanhood releasing the pleasure that shook his body and hers. After a moment he opened his eyes and looked down at her. Bonnie’s face was turned away as she looked at the wall refusing to look at him. Beckett reached up and stroked her hair gently with his hand admiring her beautiful features. He found himself wishing that she would look into his eyes, so he could see the warm glow in them as they looked at him. But he knew the only thing he would see if she turned them towards him right now would be pure and utter hate.

            Leaning down, he placed a tender kiss ever so softly on her cheek still stroking her hair. Pulling back he looked down at her again, seeing that she was still starring towards the wall. A tear escaped her eye and slid down her face but she refused to make a sound or move.

            Beckett felt as though a dagger was being shoved through him. That small tear was like a sharpened blade cutting through his flesh. He felt the urge to gather her into his arms and hold her tightly, but what good would that do? It would only enrage her and perhaps upset her that much more. That tear was pure humiliation and shame, and he had placed it there.

            Rolling off of her to the side, Bonnie closed her eyes and bit her lip with a slight whimper as he withdrew. She was a bit sore from his vigorous attack on her body through the night hours. As he moved, she rolled on her side with her back to him, crossing her arms over her chest and sliding her hands under the pillow beneath her head.

            Beckett rested his hand on her bare hip as he leaned up on an elbow and looked down at her, kissing her shoulder a few times. “It’s morning.” Bonnie said when she felt his hand starting to move over her side. Beckett paused hearing her words, sighing as he rested his chin against her shoulder.

          “That it is I suppose.” He said not really ready for it to be.

          “You got what you wanted from me.” She said, “Send for my husband.” Her words were direct and dry as she pushed the sheets of his bed back and got up quickly before he could grab for her again. Gathering her clothing she quickly left his room and slammed the door behind.

            Beckett watched as she left, and when the door slammed he closed his eyes. Looking down for a moment his eyes shifted back towards the door.

Mourning?


            Mary and Teresa stood at the door of the Admiral’s home waiting patiently for the Admiral’s return. A bit nervous having a feeling there was going to be tension, as there had been the past few weeks. Their mistress hadn’t left the house and had hardly eaten or said very much beyond what had to be said to take care of the house. And then there was the more telling matter.

            Finally the door opened and the two maids anxiously greeted the Admiral taking his things. Several men came in behind him bringing chests and boxes that he had brought back with him from his ventures at sea that were gifts for Bonnie. “Nice to see you again Mary, Teresa. Where is Bonnie? I expected to see her waiting on the docks?” He asked.

            Mary and Teresa looked at each other and their smiles faded a bit. Mary decided since she was the older of the two and had been working for the Admiral longer, it was her responsibility to speak up.

          “She’s upstairs sir.” She answered truthfully in a somber tone. Norrington glanced towards the stairway before back at the maid. “She’s not gone out very much in weeks Admiral.”

          “Oh.” He said wondering if he already knew the cause. “Is she still . . . quite upset about the loss?” he inquired not really wishing to discuss it himself. It came as a blow to him when he received the letter from the doctor. James could only imagine what it was like for Bonnie, and to be alone besides.

          “I’m not certain that is the entire reason . . . sir.” Mary said carefully. James looked at the servant for a moment waiting for a further explanation. “For the past few weeks . . . she’s felt as though . . . well she seems to have fallen into a state where she’s feeling . . .” Mary sighed at a loss for words. “Perhaps you should see for yourself.”

            The maid began to show him the way to where Bonnie was upstairs. The Admiral followed not certain as to what he would find, but growing more concerned by the moment. Mary continued to talk, “It began almost immediately after Lord Beckett agreed to send word that you were to come home.” She admitted. “There was rumor that he was going to extend your tour to twice the amount it was already, and the Mistress was already distraught that you had been away for so long.”

          “She went to Lord Beckett I imagine.” James said still following the maid as they came to the landing and continued on down the hallway.

          “Yes sir. After that she . . .” Mary sighed. “Well, you’ll see.”

            Now Norrington was properly worried about what he would find. Coming to the door of the room that Bonnie was apparently occupying, Mary stopped and held her hand up. Norrington gave a nod and dismissed her.

            Reaching for the handle, James turned it and stepped inside looking about. “Bonnie?” He asked. “Bonnie I’ve come home.” Stepping a bit further in he continued to call out for her. “Bonnie I was expecting to see you waiting at . . . .” his words stopped when he finally caught sight at her and slowed considerably, “ . . . the docks . . . when I . . . came ashore . . .”

            She was absolutely drenched in the darkest black clothing. Her face was white as a sheet, she’d not gone out doors in weeks apparently. The clothes she wore were not appropriate for Caribbean weather at all. The color was up to her chin, the sleeves covered down to her wrists and she wore black gloves to cover her hands that reached to her elbows. She must have been dying from heat in those garments.

          “Bonnie . . . what on earth . . .” He said walking a bit closer to her. “What’s going on?” He said a little uneasy as he looked at the lifelessness in her eyes. “What’s happened darling?”

          “You’re back?” She questioned in a surprised almost confused tone.

          “Of course. I wrote you that I would be. Didn’t you get my letter? I wrote you as soon as I received my orders and rushed as fast as I could to return to you.” He said putting his hat aside as he walked closer.

            Bonnie shook her head a little, “I never received a letter from you.” She said. “I wrote to you.” She said softly. “I . . . I didn’t think you would ever want to come back . . . after . . . after what I did.” She said turning her eyes away feeling as though her chest was being crushed just by the weight of guilt she carried.

          “Oh my dear.” He said walking to her and putting his hands on her shoulders drawing her closer into his arms. “It wasn’t your fault.” He said holding her against him. “Losing the baby wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you for it one bit. You mustn’t ever think that it was your doing.”

            Bonnie felt even worse that he thought that was what she was referring to. She pulled back and looked up at him, “You didn’t get my letter?” She said in terror that she had to face him with the horrible truth. Norrington looked into her eyes and could tell there was something else now.

          “No . . . I suppose I didn’t. What letter?” He said wondering what was going on. Bonnie hesitated feeling ill but Norrington wanted to know now. Her mouth was dry and it felt as though her tongue was swelling in her throat to prevent her from breathing much less speaking.

          “There was a price for your return.” She said her lip quivering a little. “A price that was set before you left.” She pulled away from his arms a little unable to face him as she spoke afraid of what he would do when she told him. “It was my fault you were sent away, because I refused him. I refused to pay his price.” She said placing her hand on her chest wishing her heart would stop pounding against her ribcage.

Norrington frowned as he watched her, “Go on.” He demanded starting to wonder, anxiously, what it was she had done.

          “I wanted you back. He said that you were . . . he would continue to extend your time at sea indefinitely . . . he would never bring you back. The only way you would be brought back, was if I did as he asked. If I paid the price he wanted in the first place, and then he would give the order for you to come home.” She said keeping her back turned away as tears rolled down her cheeks. “I wanted you back James.” She said again.

          “What did he want, Bonnie.” James demanded to know. She couldn’t answer right away. It simply hurt her to much to think about, to recall, much less to say allowed. James couldn’t take it, he had to hear it for himself. He walked up behind her and grabbed her arm spinning her about to face him. “What did you give him?” He demanded again, more forcefully this time.

            She swallowed the lump in her throat and finally forced out the words through tear filled eyes, “I spent the night with him in his bedchamber. In the morning he gave the order to have you brought home.” She wept.

            Norrington starred at her for several moments before he released her rather roughly and turned away pacing a few steps. Bonnie covered her face with a shaking hand. She was so ashamed and humiliated to have to face him with such a horrible truth. Finally, after a few moments of dead uneasy silence, James anger began to vocalize.

          “How could you do this?” He asked. “How could you . . . just lay your body down for him after I . . .” He turned looking at her, “That night when I came in and you were there with him. Pleading for help with your eyes, and I lied for you. To get you out of there and away from that little weasel of a man! For what! Only to delay the inevitable!” He said in shock an disbelief
as a cross and angry look twisted his face and his voice raised harshly towards her. “You willingly went back to him after that night!” He roared. He walked towards her and grabbed her arm jerking her around to face him, “Even worse you broke the vows you made to me . . . how could you DO such a thing!”

          “I wanted you back!” She cried. “What else could I do! Where else could I turn! When Beckett has a choke hold on all of the Caribbean and holds my life and yours in the palm of his hand, what was I to do!!” She wept. “He would have sent you further . . . he would have kept you away . . . he would have gotten you killed and I would have never seen you again. I had to do something!!!”

          “I would have come back, Bonnie!” He yelled. “All you had to do was wait! I would have come back of my own accord! Did you honestly think he would have been able to keep me from you!” He said. “I would not have left you here, no matter what my orders were. If you were worried about such things you should have written me, you should have told me everything before doing something as foolish and as completely . . . disgusting as this!!”

          “James!! Please . . . please . . .” She begged. “I didn’t know what else to do.” She repeated as she did before. Her tears were so many now she couldn’t even see, as her face was a river of tears and she could barely speak. “I didn’t know where else to go, I didn’t know what else to do.” She wept lowering her head against his arm.

            Norrington couldn’t comfort her right now. He couldn’t even talk to her, or touch her really. Clinching his jaw he had to be alone for a while. He needed sometime to process the whole matter. He took her hands and pushed her off him carefully folding her arms down at her sides. Then he turned around and left her alone, closing the door behind him. Bonnie was speechless, and she could feel her heartbreak in her chest.

            Turning around she threw herself down on the bed and beat the mattress with her fist as she cried in a burst of emotion and tears. Cursing herself over and over again.

Issues

            James beat on the door of Beckett’s office and then opened it walking in. He found Beckett standing at the window, and his body guard Mr. Mercer standing in the room nearby. Apparently, he had been expected. “You always do know how to make an entrance James.” Beckett commented watching out the window.

          “Am I to understand that you’ve been holding my wife under house arrest for offering charity to prisoners?” James said trying to keep his temper under control as he walked further into the room.

          “Yes. I have been doing precisely that. She was asked to desisted, then warned, and then action had to be taken when she didn’t comply with politeness.” Beckett turned and looked at James. “You of all people should know how stubborn she can be when she sets her mind to something Admiral.”

          “Offering charity to prisoners has never been considered an offending action before that we found it necessary to take action against.” James pointed out.

          “You know as well as I that things have changed somewhat since you were Commodore in Port Royal, James. With the overcrowded jail situation, it is necessary to take measures to keep the behavior of the inmates and prisoners manageable. To do so, requires controlling all aspects of their environment. I tried to explain this to your lovely bride, but she would have none of it. She left me no choice but to confine her to your estate.”

          “What else did she leave you ‘no choice’ of.” James said with narrowed eyes. Beckett smiled knowingly. “You may very well run all of the Caribbean, Lord Beckett . . . but there are some things that are not yours.”

          “Now that’s where your wrong, James.” Beckett countered instantly. “You see she was mine, and you stole her from me. With lies and deceit, and you can only stand there with righteous indignation because supposedly you have God on your side, and wedding vows.”

          “She’s my WIFE!!!” James shouted. “Your misguided sense of entitlement does not excuse blackmail. You knew what a fragile emotional state she was in with the loss of the child and made her believe that she was on the verge of losing me as well!!” He said starting to walk towards Beckett. However Mercer seemed to appear from nowhere stepping in front of James with his pistol drawn and cocked ready to fire aimed squarely at James head if he made one more move. The Admiral froze in place and clinched his jaw.

            Beckett looked at James crossing his arms as he leaned against his desk. “If you wish you could be sent back to patrolling the seas as you have been quite easily if there is nothing for you here.” Cutler said quite seriously. To be honest, he never wanted James to come back, but that was the deal that he had struck and he had yet to go back on his word. He was a businessman and he prided himself on the good business record he had.

            James starred at him for several long moments, “This isn’t over.” He said through clinched teeth. Then he turned on his heel and stormed out of Beckett’s office. Cutler watched him leave in silence.

          “No, I don’t suppose it is.”

Stir Crazy

          “Tell me again. Everything. From beginning to end.” James demanded as he paced in the kitchen. Mary at Teresa sat in two chairs watching nervously as their master paced back and forth in front of them.

          “Sir.” Mary said finally. “What good will this do? We’ve told you everything that happened while you were away.” She said standing from her seat. “Every meeting, every message, every last detail that went on between Lord Beckett and Mistress Norrington. She despised that man and hates him even more now. She’s been broken every since he sent for you to return.”

          “Why would she hide all this from me!!” He demanded to know. “Why would she keep all of this from me and not say a word! This was something that began before I left port, she could have said something then but no. Nothing.” Norrington paced again rubbing the back of his neck.

          “Perhaps she didn’t realize just what a monster Lord Beckett was.” Teresa said meekly a little afraid. Mary looked at her as Norrington paced. Mary encouraged her to speak her theory even more for the Admiral to hear. “Maybe she didn’t think that he could be so brutally inhumane as to demand such a thing in exchange for your return Master.”

          “Even if that were true she still should have told me.” James said. “She could have written me her concerns.”

          “She couldn’t have, Admiral.” Mary confessed. James looked at Mary as his steps slowed.

          “What?” He questioned coming to a stop. “What do you mean?” Mary folded her hands in front of her and sighed.

          “Lord Beckett was intercepting her letters before they were sent to you.” James frowned as he starred at the maid in disbelief. “It was part of the reason she finally gave in to his demands. He had made it clear that he wasn’t going to let her do anything that he didn’t first have his approval . . . and he began to withhold your letters.” Mary stepped a little closer. “Admiral . . .” She said in a softer tone knowing she was speaking out of turn. “She didn’t give herself to him as willingly as one would first assume. He nearly drove her to the point of madness.”

            James looked at the maid for several silent moments before he looked away deep in thought.

Commentary

            Bonnie sat quietly with her eyes turned downcast, her back straight as a board with her hands in her lap not moving or making a sound. Not daring to, not thinking or feeling she really deserved to in anyway. James was quiet for a long time, as he sat on the window ledge in front of her, just inches away not sure what to say.

          “I don’t blame you.” He said finally unable to look her in the eye. He felt guilty for having reacted as rashly as he had without having all the facts. Even more so that he still felt betrayed by her when it seemed that she had been pushed to her last inch of sanity until she was made to believe she was saving his life with the act of adultery that was committed. “I realize now that . . . that circumstances trapped you into your actions. Literally. You weren’t just making excuses, and you were acting out of loyalty rather than being unfaithful.”

          “What’s the difference James.” She said not raising her eyes as her voice was low. Norrington looked at her hearing her words, it sounded as though she wasn’t accepting his forgiveness that he was attempting to give her. Bonnie was having a hard time speaking herself. “The act was still the same whatever the intentions were behind it.” Tears escaped from her eyes and slid down her cheeks.

            He couldn’t deny or argue that point. “What’s done is done.” James said. “There’s no changing it. But there’s no need to let it ruin the rest of our lives. The prospect of that would make Beckett simply overflow with joy that he had destroyed us completely.”

          “Hasn’t he?” Bonnie asked. Norrington looked at her for several long lingering moments. His next words could destroy her if he wanted them too. But he didn’t want to do that. Not really.

          “No.” He said in a stern tone. Bonnie’s eyes finally raised from the floor to look at him. Shaking his head a little his green eyes gazed into hers as he took her hands in his. “If you didn’t care to have me back . . . you wouldn’t have given him what he wanted.” Reaching up he cupped her cheek in his hand and stroked her skin softly with his thumb. “Spending a night with Cutler Beckett, must be like an eternity in hell.”

            Bonnie took a breath and closed her eyes, “I wanted to peel the skin from my body and burn everything he touched, James.” She wept turning her face into his hand. Norrington could see how painful it was for her and reached out taking her from the chair into his arms.

          “Forget Bonnie.” He whispered. “We’ll forget this happened. Forget he touched you . . . forget everything.” He breathed closing his eyes holding her tighter against him.
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