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More Than Darkness	By : SaMe Category: M through R > Once Upon A Time In Mexico Views: 4591 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the movie that this fanfiction is written for, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-1
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-20
- 21-21
- 22-22
- 23-23
- 24-24
- 25-25
- 26-26
- 27-27
- 28-28
- 29-29
- 30-30
- 31-31
- 32-32
- 33-33
- 34-34
- 35-35
- 36-36
- 37-37
- 38-38
- 39-39
- 40-40
- 41-41
- 42-42
- 43-43
- 44-44
- 45-45
- 46-46
- 47-47
- 48-48
- 49-49
- 50-50
- 51-51
- 52-52
- 53-53
- 54-54
- 55-55
- 56-56
- 57-57
- 58-58
- 59-59
- 60-60
- 61-61
- 62-62
- 63-63
- 64-64
- 65-65
- 66-66
- 67-67
- 68-68
- 69-69
- 70-70
- 71-71
- 72-72
- 73-73
- 74-74
- 75-75
- 76-76
- 77-77
- 78-78
- 79-79
- 80-80
- 81-81
- 82-82
- 83-83
- 84-84
- 85-85
- 86-86
- 87-87
- 88-88
- 89-89
- 66
- 67
- 68
Aida showed up about a half an hour
later, a bright scarf covering her bald head and sandals on her skinny feet.
She saw her husband - or at least she thought it was her husband - and went to
sit by him. In her hand was a plastic bag filled with a few chocolate bars, a
newspaper, a cheap romance novel for her since she
didn't know how long she'd be here, and a few other things.
"Hey," she said as she
sat down, figuring it was a safe opening.
He turned and just blinked at her
for a moment; having been startled out of his thoughts. �Hello, spitfire,� he
said after taking a second to clear his mind.
"Hey, baby," she whispered,
leaning over to kiss his cheek. "Why are we out here?"
�I didn�t want to go inside. And I
figured that if I had to ask Jeffrey which room sunrise was in he�d want to go
up and see her. So I sat.�
"We can ask at the front
desk," she said gently. "I think we should probably go inside. Jeffrey didn't want to be away for too
long."
�Right,� Sands murmured, not moving
from his place on the bench. �And when I say I�d rather just sit out here?�
"Sands, we can't stay out here
forever. You can't stay out here
forever." She gestured at the setting sun. "Jeffrey's already been
here all day without anyone noticing him past his bout of hysteria. No one is
going to be paying attention to you. They don't see you as a patient."
�Fine. But
if they come after me with sedatives or anti-depressants I won�t be responsible
for my actions,� he muttered under his breath as he rose from the haven the
bench offered.
"I'll be right beside
you."
He responded with a short nod and
strode into the hospital and up to the front desk before he could lose his
nerve.
"Should we wake Jeffrey
up?" Aida asked softly as they stood in the doorway of Salida's
room.
�He�s already awake,� Sands
murmured, feeling himself move into the room without
his consent.
Jeffrey moved to Salida�s side, taking a seat once more in the chair that he
had claimed next to her bed. He took her hand in his and brought it to his
bowed forehead and closed his eyes.
Aida sighed and sat down in what
was a predictably uncomfortable hospital chair. If she was going to stay here
long, something was going to have to be done about this.
When he saw that Salida had yet to
awaken from her drug-induced sleep, he turned a casual eye to the corner,
thinking he had seen Aida there but not really sure. �Kitty?
Are you really here?� he asked softly, not wanting to wake his wife. He didn�t
think it was fully possible given the amount of drugs she was under, but he
didn�t want to test it for her sake.
"Yeah.
I am. Sands wanted me to come." She shrugged. "And if I'm here we don't
have to worry about wasting phone minutes."
�Why did Sands want you to come?
What difference does it make,� he muttered. �It�s not his problem.�
"He doesn't like hospitals any
more than you do, Jeffrey."
�That�s only because he had to
visit his sick grand�� Jeffrey�s intended barb was cut off as Sands forcibly
closed their mouth.
"It's alright," Aida said
softly, guessing the reason Jeffrey had stopped so abruptly.
Jeffrey just grumbled something
under his breath, took another look at his still-sleeping wife, and rose from
his chair. He didn�t quite know where he was going,
only that he couldn�t just sit there uselessly any longer.
"Here," Aida offered,
pushing her bag towards him. "I brought food, something to read...there's
even a miniature chessboard in there."
�Do you even know how to play
chess? I mean�Sands does and I could play with him, but that would be weird.�
�Chocolate?�
Sands asked, his voice devoid of hope but asking
anyway.
"No, I don't really know how
to play. I mean, I had a boyfriend in high school who
played, and I picked up a little, but that's all. And yes, I brought lots of
chocolate since I wasn't sure what kind you liked."
�It doesn�t matter,� Jeffrey said
with a wave of his hand. �And why did you bring chocolate?�
�Because she asked me what I
wanted,� Sands answered for her.
�And you wanted chocolate?�
�I guess,� Sands said with a shrug.
"What do you want?" Aida
asked. "There's Crackle bars, and two kinds of
Hershey bars, and a Snickers..."
�Whatever�s on top,� Sands said
with a half-hearted shrug.
Aida sighed in exasperation,
grabbed three bars, and set them on the table. "Choose one."
�I�d choose the red one on
principle,� Jeffrey said with a nod toward the Crackle bar.
Sands frowned thoughtfully and
chose the Hershey�s with almonds for pretty much the same principles.
Aida watched carefully as he
half-heartedly unwrapped the candy bar and took a
bite. She couldn't even tell if he liked
the way it tasted or not.
�Thanks,� Sands murmured after
swallowing a mouthful of chocolate and almonds. Now that he had what he had
wanted however, it didn�t seem as appealing to him. But he could see the way
she was looking at him, so he kept eating it slowly.
�What is your problem?� Jeffrey
asked around half a mouthful of chocolate before swallowing. �You asked for the
fucking chocolate and now you�re acting like you don�t even want it. Nevermind. I don�t care but god how I hate almonds,� he
said, making a face.
Aida sighed. "I'm going for a
little walk," she announced, getting up. "I can't sit in these chairs
for long."
�I�m staying here in case vixen
wakes up,� Jeffrey said firmly. Sands shrugged, not feeling like fighting, but
looked up at Aida with the faintest hint of longing.
"I'll be back," she
assured him. "I just need to move around a little."
�Walk. Have fun. Go crazy,� Jeffrey
muttered apathetically.
�I�ll see you later. Be careful,�
Sands said around him.
"We're in a hospital. This is
about the safest place I can
be." Aida reached out and squeezed Sands' hand. "I'll be back. Behave
yourself."
�What can I do?� he muttered. �One
wrong move and they�ll sedate me again. Or Jeffrey.
Whatever.�
"I meant I don't want you two
arguing."
�Oh. Fine.
No arguing.�
She let go of him. "Five
minutes and I'll be back."
�Alright.
Bye,� he said despondently. She frowned a little and left. Jeffrey just went
back to sit at his wife�s side and Sands just dug himself deeper into his own
depression.
***
Aida was back scant seconds past the five minutes she'd asked
for. The men were sitting at Salida side, so she quietly took her seat again,
picking up her romance novel with the intention to make headway on it.
Sands heard her come in however and got up smoothly from the
chair, ignoring Jeffrey�s silent protests. He glanced down at Salida. She was
more than fine. She looked as if she were going to sleep the next millennium
away. He silently told Jeffrey as much and made his way over to sit by his own
wife. �What are you reading?� he asked casually.
Aida glanced up over the pages of
her book, then looked back down. "Just something
I picked up," she murmured.
�Knights of
Pleasure?� Sands said as he read the title. �Sounds like the name of
a smutty romance novel.� When her cheeks colored faintly, he grinned. �So it is the name of a smutty romance novel.
Naughty, naughty spitfire,� he teased, his earlier depression seemingly gone
without a trace.
"You're feeling chipper,"
she muttered, splaying her hands to try to cover the front of her book.
�So it would seem.� Before she
could stop him, he snatched the book from her hands and opened it to read a
page while trying to ward her off. ��..she took
Renaldo�s throbbing member in her hands and stroked it, delighting when he let
out a moan of pure ecstasy. He retaliated by�� Hey, I was reading that!� he
said in an affronted manner when she snatched the book back from him.
"That's not even what's going
on," she muttered. "I'm on page seven, for goodness sake. And his name isn't 'Renaldo.'"
�It isn�t? The
what the hell was I just reading?�
"You were making it up,"
his wife accused.
�And why would I do something like
that? You said it yourself. You�re only on page seven. I could have been
reading from page one hundred and seven for all you know.�
"Then who's 'Renaldo'?" Aida
was just a little irritated that he was picking on her guilty pleasure.
�It�s your book. Not mine,
spitfire,� he said with a smirk.
"Stop it."
�Stop what, spitfire?� he asked,
the picture of innocence.
"You know what."
�No I don�t,� he argued with a
grin. �Explain it to me,� he challenged, his fingers moving to trace gentle
lines on the side of her neck.
"No."
�Aww, why
not?� he pouted, his fingers moving to caress her jaw now.
"Because
you're being a jerk."
�How am I being a jerk? For catching you with your romance novel?�
"Can't I have one guilty
pleasure?" she asked, tilting her head away from him.
�Of course,� he acknowledged with a
nod. �I have more than a few myself. Just don�t expect
me not to tease you about it on occasion.�
"I don't tease you," she
muttered.
�Well then, perhaps you should.� He
leaned in to gently kiss the side of her neck now, having shoved Jeffrey�s
presence into the walled up room within his mind where he belonged.
"Stop," Aida said,
raising her shoulder towards her ear.
�Why? That�s no fun.�
"What are you trying to
do?" she asked, still not giving in.
�What do you mean?�
"Why are you doing this?"
�Because I want
to.�
"So? You irritate me, and now
you're trying to sweeten my temper? Is that it?"
�Maybe. Only
I wasn�t trying to irritate you.�
"Hmph."
�Aww,
don�t be that way, spitfire. I�m sorry. I won�t say another word about your
books. I promise.�
"Alright."
That didn't mean he was going to get off that easily though.
�Thank you for bringing me the chocolate.�
"You're welcome." She
didn't unfreeze.
�I�m sorry I was being an ass
earlier. I didn�t mean to take it out on you.�
"You weren't taking anything
out on me."
�It felt like it,� he murmured, his
hand unintentionally moving to draw abstract designs on her thigh.
I'm
surprised you were feeling anything. "What are you doing?" she
asked again, twitching her thigh away from his fingers
�I don�t know. I just want to touch
you,� he said with a frown at her movement and question.
"You're not 'just' touching
me," she pointed out.
�Alright, I feel like kissing you
too,� he admitted, his hand moving out to touch her leg again even as they were
talking about it.
"And after
that? There's always an 'after that.'"
�Um�taking you into the first empty
room we find and making love to you there?�
"In a hospital?" she
asked, somewhat scandalized. "No. Absolutely not."
�Why not?
That way, I�d at least have one more good memory to associate them with,� he
reasoned.
"It's a hospital," she hissed. "Someone could walk in at any
time!"
�You say that like it�s a bad
thing.�
"It is!"
Sands threw up his hands. �Alright fine. We�ll go somewhere else. You say that hotel�s
close? Fine. We�ll go there.�
"We can't just leave. What's
gotten into you?"
�What makes you think something has
gotten into me? I�m fine,� he argued. �And we don�t have to be gone forever,
just long enough.�
"Something has gotten into
you," she insisted. "I'm gone for five minutes and when I come back
you're a horny beast. I bet it was the chocolate."
�Hmm. And
if it was?� he asked, slowly moving his fingers in-between her thighs before
she could stop him. It wasn�t the same with clothes in the way, but he didn�t
care. He just needed to touch her.
"Sands!"
Aida jumped up out of her chair.
Sands sighed. This was beginning to
grow akin to torture. The more he touched her, the more he wanted her. And the
less she wanted him, apparently. �Sorry,� he murmured. He didn�t want to upset
her now, doing that only ensured that he received no love or release, but he
couldn�t quite help himself either.
"I'm not mad," she
assured him. "Just a little puzzled."
�Why?�
"This seems like more than a
simple mood swing."
Sands just gave her a look as if to
say, �why do you think that?� as he clasped his hands on his lap in an attempt
to keep himself honest.
"That's certainly not going to
work on me," she sighed at his look of mock-innocence.
�What will?�
"So all you want to do is get
into my pants?"
�Up your skirt actually, but the
principle is relatively the same,� he acknowledged easily with a slight lift of
his shoulders.
"Well, if all you're after is
a quick roll in the hay, the answer is no."
�What then?� he asked, trying not
to sound as horny and desperate as he felt.
"Just the other day you're telling
me that you want more from me than a willing body, and today you're
contradicting that."
�Sorry, sorry. I�m an ass,� he
murmured. An
unbelievably fucking horny ass.
Good Christ, what do I have to say to her?
Aida just rolled her eyes and sat
down. "If you're serious," she murmured, once again cracking her book
open, "you'll at least arrange it so we can leave
the hospital without fear of sending Jeffrey into some kind of panicked
rampage."
Shit,
damn it, fuck it, motherfucking
son of a whore� The curses continued on within his head as he dreaded
Jeffrey�s reaction to him asking. �Jeffrey?�
�What? What do you fucking want.� Jeffrey paused as he rifled through Sands� thoughts
like a rolodex. �No. I don�t care if you�re fucking horny. You�re not going.�
�It wouldn�t be for very long. And
sunrise is fine. She hasn�t even woke up yet,� he hissed in argument, keeping
his voice low as to not wake her up and thereby ruin any chance he had of
leaving.
�I. Don�t. Care,� Jeffrey
reiterated.
�Bullshit. You�re every bit as
horny as I am,� Sands argued. �And you�re planning on staying here all night
anyway. I�m taking this time with my wife. You can have yours later. She�ll be
fine. And I�ll give the nurse or whoever the cell number so she can call if
anything changes.�
Jeffrey wanted to argue, but fuck,
Sands was being reasonable for a change. �The instant anything changes��
��we�ll come back. You have my
word,� Sands hastened to agree.
Jeffrey grumbled something under
his breath but nodded. Before Sands could get up or comment, Jeffrey had leaned
over Salida�s still form and kissed her forehead
gently before pulling back to look down at her; tucking a lock of her dark hair
behind an ear in the process. �I�ll be back soon,
vixen,� he whispered. �I promise.� He then quickly penned a note telling her
where he was and left it beneath her good right hand for her to find if she
woke up before he got back.
Aida watched these proceeding with
a raised eyebrow. Now that her first
condition had been met, she still didn't look anymore likely to give in than
before.
Sands saw her hesitation and his
resolve crumbled. �You�re not going to go with me despite all that, are you?� he asked with a sigh. �That�s alright,� he
murmured. �Don�t worry about it. Jeffrey�ll be happy
to stay,� he muttered.
"I never said that. I'm just
not going to make things easy on you."
�Why not?� he
asked casually, tilting his head in confusion as he moved across the room to
her.
"I don't know. I think that
today my turn on is being difficult."
�Of course it is,� he murmured,
moving a hand down her shoulder gently.
"Do you have a problem with
that?" she asked, both eyebrows now raised.
�I suppose not,� he said after a
moment�s consideration. He would have answered to the affirmative right away-he
liked it when she played hard to get-had it not been for the throbbing reminder
to be quick between his legs.
"I'm glad."
Sands just murmured an affirmative.
�Can�May we go now, spitfire?� He
didn�t know if asking nicely would help, but it couldn�t hurt either.
She nodded, and offered her hand so
he could help her out of her seat.
He did so without hesitation,
pulling her up and flush against him, holding her close for a too-short moment
before letting her free. �Then let�s go.�
***
When they got to the new hotel,
Aida waited in the car for Sands to come around and open the door for her. She
insisted on manners, on being treated like a lady...on keeping Sands on
something of a short leash.
�You�re enjoying this, aren�t you?�
he murmured as he held open the door to the hotel lobby for her before one of
the bellhops could. He was trying not to sound too bitter.
"A
bit." Aida tossed the ends of her scarf over her shoulder as she
might do with her hair.
Sands just grunted as they walked
arm-in-arm through the hotel lobby before he paused. �What room are we in?�
"412. There're only five
floors."
�Alright,� he murmured, his
purposeful stride regained once he knew where he was headed. They moved through
the lobby and rode up the elevator to their floor in silence with him visibly
struggling to keep his hands to himself although he managed.
Aida preceded him out of the
elevator, and walked by his side down the hallway. She wondered what would
happen, how he would act, once they were inside their room. Would his restraint
break, or would they continue like this for awhile longer? The speculation was
more than a little arousing.
As he unlocked the door with the
keycard she had given him, he went through scenarios of what he would do to her
once he got her through the door. Taking her hard right against the wall seemed
to be the winner at the moment. Unfortunately for him, before he could go
through with anything regarding his
wife, he was attacked by a bounding ball of black fur and gold eyes. He tried
not to spurn the somewhat neglected cat but he was in no mood to play either.
That is, unless it was with her.
"Looks like someone missed
you," Aida observed quietly, a small, serene smile on her lips.
�Yeah, well I�ll pay attention to
him later,� he murmured, trying to gently shoo Obsidian away. The cat was
having none of it.
Aide just leaned against the nearby
desk and watched the pair fondly.
�Go on, you stupid cat. Can�t you
see I�m busy?� Sands once more tried to shoo Obsidian away with his foot, but
he only pounced on it, thinking this was all an elaborate game. Sands sighed. If it had been a little rat dog rather than his cat, he would have
shot the thing by now. As Obsidian was his, he was inclined to show a
little patience. Not a lot, especially not under current circumstances, but
some. Sands� eyes darted around the room, landing upon a cat toy that had no
doubt been loved just a few minutes earlier. He snatched it up, let Obsidian
see it and attempt to claw at it, and threw it across the room. Obsidian
bounded after it like Sands knew he would, and while the cat was distracted, he
gently took Aida by the arm and led her to the bedroom; closing the door behind
him.
"That was all very
endearing," she murmured softly, looking up at her husband with big eyes.
�Yeah, yeah,� he muttered. �Are you
still playing hard to get?�
"Not really."
�Good,� he breathed, crossing the
room with a speed forged out of desperation and blinding arousal. He pressed
her against the wall hurriedly, a voice reminding him to be careful with her
but unable to fully pay attention to it. He needed her now. And yet� �Let�s play a game.� His
need was screaming in him, but the clear vibrant mania was still coursing
itself through his veins and he couldn�t deny it yet. He wanted to play.
"I like games," she
murmured, unsure if he'd heard her over her pounding heart. She liked it very
much when he was playful.
�Mmm, I
know you do, spitfire,� he drawled, nibbling on her ear slowly. �You like to
act. You like to play dress-up. I like your games. But I like my games too.�
"I like all games." Aida
turned her face towards his, wanting only to able to touch him, to feel the
warmth of his breath on her face.
�Really?� he whispered wickedly
into her ear, having moved out of her line of sight once more. He knew she
wanted to face him, but he wasn�t ready to let her yet. �And do you like toys
too?� From his honey-dipped tones, it was clear that he didn�t mean toys the
way Sheldon might have.
"Depends on
the toy."
�Oh? And what toys do you like,
love?�
"Ones that make me feel
good." Why was the room so dark? Why were the curtains pulled? She wanted
to be able to see him.
�And what about me?� he let her
face him now, their faces scant centimeters apart, their eyes locked.
"You'll find a way to make us both feel
good."
�Oh I�m sure I will,� he promised
thickly, moving in to kiss her before he could stop himself. He pulled back
before it could go too far though. He still wanted to play and damn it, he was
going to get what he wanted. But even as determination filled his thoughts, his
reasoning shifted just like that. Now he thought he still wanted to play, but
he was unsure. What was certain at this point in time was that he wanted her to play. With him.
He did like their games together but now he wanted to be the toy. And he wanted
to play. And he wanted to be played. And he didn�t know what the fuck he wanted
anymore. The indecision must have shown on his face because she was now looking
at him curiously.
"Out of ideas, baby?" she
asked.
�Not really, just�confused,� he
murmured with a frown. He still had visions of her in lace and leather, him
handcuffed to the bed, a chair, the bathtub, wherever, and unable to do
anything but be tormented by her. Sometimes he was blindfolded and gagged,
sometimes not. Sometimes she had a whip and a spiked collar, sometimes a gown
of shimmering silk. Those fantasies never left, they just got pushed aside by
his more domineering nature.
"How
confused?" His grip had lessened, and Aida took advantage of it,
first pressing her body against his and then pulling her hips away.
�Not so confused that I don�t want
you to do that and more to me again,� he gasped. �It�s just�the rest. I thought
I knew what I wanted but now that�s changed. Poof, gone in
the blink of an eye. My moods are a little�slippery at the moment,� he
said with a slight shrug.
"I'm the one that's supposed
to be slippery at the moment," she whispered against his lips, and then
poof! She had disappeared from inside his grasp and circled around behind
him. "You know how much I love it
when you domineering," she whispered into his ear while her hands took up
residence on his belt buckle.
�I have noticed, yes,� he murmured,
his hands moving to stop hers. �And if that�s what you want then that�s what
you�ll get. Is that what you want?�
"Is it what you want?"
He shrugged. The fantasies were
being particularly bothersome at the moment, taking advantage of his indecision
while his normally controlling personality wavered. �It�s what I�ll give.�
"I don't want that. I want
what you want." She licked the shell of his ear. "I'm going to make
you pick. Take control of your mind and decide how you want to fuck me."
He closed his eyes in pleasure at
the sensation of her hot tongue on his ear, but forced himself to concentrate.
Still he wavered, but he forced himself to pay attention to which desire was
screaming the loudest. Did he want to dominate her fully, having a quick
satisfying fuck? Did he want to play his hand at being romantic and take things
slow? Fuck that. Guess not. Or did he
want to defy his own conventions and turn the tables on himself? �I�� he
hesitated, unsure. �I want you to take me instead.� He reconsidered, trying to
rationalize his own actions before he remembered that in these kinds of games
it was the submissive who had all the power. It was
the person being dominated who could stop the fun and games with only a word.
He was giving up nothing. You hear that?
I�m not giving up anything. So shut the fuck up and let me have my fun, he
growled at his now chafing assertiveness.
"How?" she asked,
pressing her body tightly against his back.
�Tie me up. Tease me. Hurt me. Make
me ache for you like I did for you on our honeymoon. Make me feel, Aida. I need this.� He knew that
this would probably be his last chance at happiness for awhile. Jeffrey�s
depression at his wife�s state was so thick and overpowering that he couldn�t
ignore it forever. It would affect him again sooner or later and everything
would be bleak and grey once more. �Help me hold it at bay,� he pleaded, not
meaning to speak that aloud.
"I have nothing to tie you up
with, and I don't want to hurt you as much as you want to be hurt. I can't
carve out your heart so you can keep from feeling what Jeffrey does."
He closed his eyes tightly, biting
down hard on his lip to keep from asking �Why
not?� �Then what?� he sighed,
already feeling the depression trying to seep through him again at her refusal.
He knew she would say no to what he truly wanted right now, but he couldn�t
help but ask anyway, hoping he was wrong.
"Don't get me wrong, I'm more
than willing to play the dominatrix for you, but you have to play by my
rules."
�Oh? And what are your rules?� he
asked slowly, fervently clinging on to his last few hopeful thoughts. He would
not give in to the bleakness yet.
"You have to trust me,"
she whispered into his ear, her voice husky.
�I do trust you, Aida. I trust you
with my life and my love,� he assured her without hesitation.
"You may not question
me."
�Alright,� he answered her demand,
his pulse already beginning to quicken in anticipation of the game.
"You may not ask anything of
me unless I give you permission."
�I understand.� He would have
demanded nothing less of her were their roles
reversed.
"If you disobey you will be
punished, if you hesitate you will be punished, and if you make a single move I
don't approve of, you will be punished."
He nodded, visibly aroused at her
demanding tone. The fact that in the light of day his wife was a kind, giving
person who couldn�t help but worry about others and now she was a vibrant
controlling force didn�t cease to amaze him. No one else saw her like this. No one. This side of her was his alone and he loved it.
"First, you will bring me
pleasure. And if you do a good enough job, then I'll allow you your pleasure.
Am I understood?"
Again he nodded. She was certainly
making herself clear. Even so, he very nearly forgot all of that as he had to
hold himself back from moving to kiss and touch her. She hadn�t told him to
move yet and without knowing what kind of punishment she had in store for him,
he wasn�t going to risk it quite yet.
"You are going to turn around,
pick me up, and carry me to the bed."
That was easy enough, and he liked
carrying her. He liked the way she clung to his chest as he held her in his
arms. He liked protecting her. But none of that really shone through now. This
was different. This was him bending to her will, giving her whatever she
desired without hesitation in fear of punishment. With that in mind, he lifted
her into his arms gently, trying not to wince yet again at how light she was,
and carried her to the bed.
"Now, you're going to go get
one of those chocolate bars I bought, and you're going to feed it too me. But
you can't use your hands. Oh, and take off your shirt."
Sands unbuttoned his shirt slowly,
and he must have still been feeling a little like his old controlling self
because he let her eyes drink in every movement before letting it fall to his
feet at the floor. He then moved to get one of the chocolate bars, breaking it
up and unwrapping it before setting the opened foil on
the bed, assuming she hadn�t meant he couldn�t use his hands to bring it here.
Once he had done that, he leaned over and attempted to grab a piece of
chocolate in-between his teeth. It took a few tries as the chocolate was soft
from the day�s heat but he managed, moving so that their lips practically
touched, silently offering the piece of chocolate between his teeth to her.
Aida reached up and pulled on his
neck until they were truly kissing. It wasn't the chocolate that was so important as the chocolate flavored kiss.
Sands let out a soft sigh as she
thoroughly cleaned his lips and tongue of the sweet chocolate while he did the
same to her. The taste of chocolate on her lips was intoxicating.
He was made to repeat this
procedure several times before Aida was satisfied, and then she ordered him to
kiss her neck while she thought of something else for him to do.
He didn�t know where to start, so
he just moved until his lips came into contact with the pale column of her
neck, gently laying kisses like gently falling snowflakes across her skin,
breathing in her scent and relishing the taste of her on his lips. He moved
down one side of her neck and up the other, gently suckling now as he moved. He
wasn�t leaving marks yet, but a growing part of him wanted to.
Aida finally decided what she
wanted from him next. As she gently
pushed him away with her foot, she reached up behind her and slipped her
headscarf off. "Tie this around
your eyes," she murmured.
He hesitated, hoped she hadn�t seen
it, and did as she wanted as best as he could. It wasn�t so bad really. This
was what he had wanted the scarf smelled faintly of her. Added to the sense of
danger that filled him now that he couldn�t see what was coming, he was
definitely aroused.
"For your hesitation -"
oh yes, she had noticed, "- you will lay down on
the bed, on your back, and talk to me in Italian while I do whatever I wish to
your body. If you pause once, I will stop touching you, and the games will be
over."
�Capisco,�
I understand, he murmured with a slow nod as he did as she ordered him
to, trying not to tense in preparation for what she had in store for him.
"You may begin talking,"
she murmured as she straddled his waist. "Do not forget what you say
because I will expect a flawless translation."
He nodded, trying not to react to
her comforting weight on his stiffened arousal. �Che cosa lo desiderate dire? Non conosco
che cosa lo desiderate
dire. Non posso dire qualche cosa se mi non dite a. L'OH...dio siete bei e li
desidero ora ma desidero essere preso in giro. Desidero dimenticarsi. Li desidero incitarli a dimenticarsi.� What
do you want me to say? I don't know what you want me to say. I can't say
anything if you don't tell me to. Oh...god you're beautiful and I want you
right now but I want to be teased. I want to forget. I want you to make me
forget. He gasped as she moved a little on him, arching in to her touch.
"Faster," she whispered,
reaching out with a single finger and touching the middle of his forehead, right at the hairline. Slowly - torturously slowly
- she dragged that single fingertip down, tracing an imaginary line down his
forehead, along his nose, over his lips, and down his throat.
He obliged her, the Italian
practically spilling off of his lips now as he arched into her touch. �Amore
del dio I dell' �ohhh� come
lo toccate. Amo la sensibilit� delle vostre barrette attraverso la mia pelle come fuoco. Il vostro
tocco � fuoco al mio ghiaccio, spitfire. Mi rendete l'ustione ed a volte devo
osservare due volte per assicurarsi che realmente non state lasciando una traccia di
carne bruciacchiata nel vostro risveglio. Non che mi occuperei
di. Tutto che facciate a
me � magico. Forzate
il mio
desiderio alle altezze che non ho usato mai potere
immaginare e tanto meno con esperienza. Mi rendete il
tatto. Dio ti amo cos� tanto.� Oh god I love how you touch me. I love the
feeling of your fingers across my skin like fire. Your touch is fire to my ice,
spitfire. You make me burn and sometimes I have to look twice to make sure you
aren't actually leaving a trail of scorched flesh in your wake. Not that I'd
mind. Everything you do to me is magic. You force my desire to heights I never
used to be able to imagine let alone experienced. You make me feel. God I love
you so much. His eyes clenched shut in desperation as she moved even
slower. �Pi�, prego
pi�.� More, please more.
"Translation," she
demanded as she slowly traced his bellybutton. "And you will tell me if
you forgot anything."
He repeated what he had just said
first because it was still fresh in his lust-fogged mind. �I said, �Oh god I
love how you touch me. I love the feeling of your fingers across my skin like
fire. Your touch is fire to my ice, spitfire. You make me burn and sometimes I
have to look twice to make sure you aren't actually leaving a trail of scorched
flesh in your wake. Not that I'd mind. Everything you do to me is magic. You
force my desire to heights I never used to be able to imagine let alone
experienced. You make me feel. God I love you so much.� And then I asked you
for more.�
"And before
that?" She patiently started tapping on the button of his pants
Each tap sent a jolt of need through him, he
wanted her to undo his pants so much he could practically taste it. �I�I asked
you what you wanted me to say.� He visibly struggled to remember the rest.
�Something about forgetting�� he tried.
"Did you forget?" she asked, her finger never stopping.
�No, no I didn�t�It�ll come to me��
he breathed, finding it increasingly hard to keep a straight thought other than
one of desire and need while she touched him.
"You forgot," she said,
moving away from him. "But the punishment for not speaking is the not the
same punishment for forgetting. The punishment for forgetting is that you must
pleasure yourself - without knowing if I am watching or not - until I tell you
to stop."
His brow furrowed. Masturbation
while having other more preferable options was not something he often
considered. Especially when she wasn�t even going to be
necessarily watching his little �display.� But he reminded himself that
this was her game, that these were her rules, and most important, that he had
asked her to play. He nodded slowly and his hands moved to do what she would
not, unbuttoning and pushing down his pants and boxers to take his throbbing
arousal in his hands, not knowing if she was still watching or not. He decided
abruptly as he began moving his hands over himself in a rapidly increasing pace
that he much preferred to believe that she was. His hands quickly became rough
and punishing and friction built on his sensitive skin, but he didn�t stop. She
had said not a word and the pleasure outweighed the pain.
Aida was indeed watching, but most
of her concentration was locked up his face, or what parts of his face she
could see. He was so incredibly beautiful to her. Only when she noticed how
aroused he was becoming did she tell him to stop.
A soft moan escaped his lips and
while his hands did stop their now frantic stroking at her demand, they did not
move away. It took a few moments of convincing himself that she wouldn�t just
leave him like this; that she�d give him the relief that she forced his hands
to deny. Only when he was settled into this idea did his hands move to ball
into fists at his side. He laid beneath her gaze, panting from exertion and
arousal, the proof of his desire flush against his belly, subconsciously
twitching toward her as he could practically feel the burn of her gaze.
"One of us is still fully
dressed," Aida drawled, moving across the bed. "Would you care to do
something about that?"
�With pleasure,� he murmured,
crawling over to her. His hands quickly moved over the buttons of her shirt,
undoing each one with slightly trembling hands. He would have just ripped her
shirt off-he nearly did anyway-but he didn�t want to sever a tie to their old
life if the shirt had meant something to her in New Orleans.
"Good boy," she murmured,
just staying still and letting him undress her.
He gave a small smile at the
compliment if only to hide his real reaction to it. In truth, he might have
frowned at how the simple praise affected him. It made him yearn to please her
and he wasn�t entirely sure he liked the intensity of that feeling.
"Would you like a reward for
being so good?"
He nodded. Of course he did.
"What do you think your reward
should be? Not too big...but not too
small. Any
suggestions?"
�Give me�some of what I want,� he
said after the briefest of considerations.
"What do you want?"
�To feel,� he said simply. To feel something other than what Jeffrey�s
feeling right now.
"To feel what,
baby?"
�Anything but this,� he said
slowly. He honestly didn�t care. Be it pain, pleasure, frustration or love, it
didn�t matter. Just something else.
"And what are you
feeling?"
�Loss. Grief. Despair. Hopelessness. Misery. Helplessness. Everything
he�s feeling.�
"And how do I change that? You
have me, but you still feel loss. We're making love, but you feel misery. You
don't have to be helpless, but you chose to be that way. Tell me what to do,
baby. Or better yet, do it yourself."
A frown marred his features, but he
nodded anyway. This wasn�t her problem. He shouldn�t have tried to make it her
problem. He sighed a little and visualized the cloud of emotion that was
pressing him down; Jeffrey�s emotion, and walled it off brick by brick. It
wasn�t easy and it took a hell of a lot of concentration, but after a few
minutes his emotions were his once again and a slight smile of relief made its
way to his face. The concentration would have to remain for the wall would
break if he didn�t keep it in his mind�s eye, but that didn�t matter. He�d
rather have his concentration divided than feel that any day.
"Feeling better?" she
asked, raising a hand to stroke the side of his face.
He started to feel her hand on his
cheek as he was still blindfolded and hadn�t seen it coming, but immediately
relaxed into her touch. �Better enough,� he acknowledged. �Thank you.�
"For pushing
you into helping yourself? For the tough love? For being so damn sexy?"
�All of the above and more,� he
said, his smile widening marginally at her last comment.
"How thankful are you?"
�How thankful do you want me to
be?�
"Well, let�s say I was to slip
out from underneath you, and try to hide. Would you say, rip off the blindfold
and come after me?"
�If that�s what you what, yes.�
"This isn't about me, baby.
It's about you and what you want. Would you enjoy that?"
�I enjoy everything when it comes
to you, spitfire. I think you know that.�
"You're being evasive again.
This is all about you and what you want."
�I�m not trying to be evasive,
vixen. I�m trying to make this fun for you too.�
"You know what I consider fun.
Are you going to tell me to do it? Or are you going to allow me to do it?"
He wavered because he honestly
didn�t know. He hadn�t really gotten any of what he had initially wanted from
her when this game had begun and somehow he didn�t think he�d be getting it now
either. �I guess I�m going to tell you.�
"You guess?" Aida
grinned, then reached up and dug her fingernails into his right earlobe - not
too hard, just hard enough. "If you don't tell me what you want, I'm going
help you learn how to wear an earring with style."
He drew in a hissed breath at the
sudden sensation. �Oh really?� he couldn�t help but tease.
She pressed just a little harder. "No, not really. But it sounds impressive, doesn't
it?"
�It does,� he agreed, tilting his
head in the direction of her hand and voice. The pain was pleasure, it always
was at times like this for him, but it wasn�t nearly enough.
"Are you going to obey me or
not, love?"
�What do you want me to do?�
"You will tell me what you would like, and there will
be no guessing."
�I don�t want you to stop. I like
you this way.� I like it when you punish
me.
"Why?"
�I don�t know,� he answered, glad
she couldn�t see his eyes for she would no doubt see he wasn�t telling her the
truth. The truth was that he liked having her tell him what to do. He liked
having her push him around like he didn�t matter. He liked playing the
submissive. It�fit his scarred psyche as well as the dominant did it seemed. He
shouldn�t have been so surprised to learn this. He already knew he was twisted.
What was one more kink in an already tangled chain?
"I don't believe that."
She twisted.
He gasped at the sudden shock of
pain and went on, no longer holding back. �I like it when you hurt me. I like
it when you punish me. I like it when you tell me what to do.�
"Because
you've been a bad boy?"
�Always.�
"Is that why you need to be
punished?"
�Maybe,� he said with a slight
shrug. And maybe he had never fully learned to stop expecting it. Fuck, for a sociopath you sure do have
issues about guilt and punishment. You know that, don�t you? he asked himself. He did indeed know and he didn�t care.
Everyone had issues. He just had a few more than most.
She let go of his ear only to slap
him. "Maybe?" she asked, her voice low.
�Yes, yes that�s the reason,� he
agreed with a pained/pleasured hiss.
"Are you sure? You're not just
telling me what I want to hear?"
He bit his lip,
not knowing how she would react to what he thought was the real truth. If she
began to feel sorry for him because he expected to be punished then she would
stop. He didn�t want her to stop. Among other things, he was incredibly aroused
right now and stopping was not an option. And yet, she would probably stop
anyway if he didn�t give her the answers she wanted. It was a dilemma.
�I�expect to be punished sometimes. I wait for it.�
"When is sometimes?" Aida
stroked the red mark she'd left on his cheek, but was ready to repeat her
actions if he hesitated again.
�I don�t know. When you�re mad at
me,� he murmured.
"But you know that I would
never physically abuse you when I'm angry. Right?"
�In theory,� he said hesitantly. In
his heart he did know that, but sometimes it wasn�t quite as clear in his head.
"Just theory?"
�Sometimes my mind forgets what the
rest of me knows.�
"What does
the rest of you know?"
�That you would
never hurt me like that.�
"And does the rest of you know anything else?" she asked, squirming
under him.
�I know I love you. I know you
drive me insane in all the best ways, and I know you love me in return.� It was
getting harder to concentrate on coming up with answers to her questions with
flood of feeling she was giving him right now. Without being able to see he
could only concentrate on her touch, and she was clearly bringing him closer to
the edge.
"I know I'm still more than
half dressed."
�Then I�ll have to do something
about that, now won�t I?� Following the sound of her movements was easy,
especially since she was so close in the first place. Instead of removing her
skirt in the first instant he had found it, he reached up under it and removed
her panties first, reversing the process. He gently pulled them down over her
sandaled feet, making a note to remove her shoes next and ensuring that she
felt every movement of his hands against her as he undressed her slowly.
Aida purred, lifting her hips as
required, and once more let him take care of her.
Sands� hands deftly massaged her
feet after he had removed her sandals, enjoying the soft sounds of pleasure she
made. As much as he liked being punished by her, he also loved showing her
pleasure and little things like this were easy and satisfying for them both.
His hands moved up her legs easily as he continued massaging, not needing to
see her to know where to touch. He had memorized the contour of her skin long
ago.
She stretched and twisted under his
touch, biting her lip to keep silent. Silence was part of the game now, and she
intended to play by the rules.
He kept a slow pace up her legs,
smiling a little when he felt her move under his hands. She hadn�t made a
single sound since the first one, but he knew she was enjoying herself. He kept
his movements slow as he reached up to remove her skirt, his actions now for
her benefit alone. Sure, he would get his own fun now that she was in a state
of undress to match his own, but that was later. Right now was for her. Right
now was the time to show how much he worshiped and adored her.
Her breath hitched as she felt her
skin now totally exposed to the air. It felt so very good; it wasn't too cold
in the room, and the blanket beneath her was better quality than most hotel
blankets. Not to mention that her husband's hands were so very warm.
�I love you, Aida,� he whispered as
he kissed a path around her waist, letting her scent envelope him until he was
more than hers. He knew only her touch, only her taste, only her. He was
utterly lost within her love and he couldn�t have been happier to go. Nothing
could separate them. Nothing would. He was hers forever, come what may. �I love
you so much,� he said in a trembling voice, practically reeling at the strength
of his own feelings. Feelings were curious things for him at times. In once
instant he could be the epitome of a heartless killer, feeling no empathy
whatsoever for his victims, and at others he could be like he was now; completely
overwhelmed by the force of all the feelings he denied. �I love you,� he
whispered again against the skin right above her belly button. He felt as if he
needed to say it a thousand million more times; felt she needed to understand
the strength of his love as he couldn�t.
"I know, baby. I know you do.
And I love you too."
He frowned, not thinking she knew
at all. How could she know and understand how much he loved her if he couldn�t
himself? He told himself that it didn�t matter that she didn�t understand, only
that she knew he loved her and continued kissing her.
"Come up here," Aida
ordered with a hitch in her voice a few long minutes later. "I want to be
kissed properly."
He silently obliged her, following
the contour of her skin until he felt her lips beneath his. The kiss started
out tender and soft but quickly launched itself into passion and desperation as
he yearned for her to understand the depth of his love. She had to understand.
She had to understand that he had loved no one before he had met her. She had
to understand that he had given her all of the love he had to give and more.
Aida actively perused him through
their kiss, first pressing against him and then lifting her head to keep their
lips connected when he would have pulled away. She explored his mouth with lazy
enthusiasm, as if she had all the time in the world to do no more than this.
And right now, that's how she felt.
He could sense her languidness and
it was killing him. Couldn�t she see how desperate he was? Couldn�t she feel it
in his touch; sense it in his voice?
"Sands?" she whispered,
pulling away no more than was necessary for her to be able to speak. "I
want you to be in control now."
If that was what it was going to
take to make her understand, then so be it. With a single motion he tore the
scarf from his eyes like shedding a mask and becoming an entirely different
person. He attacked her lips with the forcefulness of desire, his hands moving
over her naked body roughly. He needed to show her passion and love and he
needed to feel it for himself as well. With this thought racing through his
mind he moved himself so their lower bodies aligned and dragged his stiff
arousal between her legs, wanting her lose all focus except on what he was
giving to her. He realised that she would probably be no good for deeper
thoughts on love in that state, but he no longer cared. If she was no longer
going to play the game, then he was going to end it to both their satisfaction.
Her fingers dug into his shoulders
as she gasped at his sudden change of attitude. She loved being surprised,
especially by him. The thought of belonging so totally to someone aroused and
comforted her, although she wasn't thinking about the comfort as her hands
started to pull at him and as her kiss turned pleading.
He knew what she wanted and he knew
he wanted it too, but her pleading kisses only served to make him want to tease
her even more. He rested his length along her cleft, letting her feel his
warmth and the frantic pulsebeat that ran through his
veins. As he did this, he continued kissing her passionately, using lips and
teeth and tongue to take what he wanted from her and give it all back in
return. Her hands only held on tighter as his own fingers moved to tease her
breasts, rolling and pinching her nipples between his fingers as he sought to
force her up to the heights of passion he was currently held at.
It felt as if her own heart beat
was making her entire body shudder, but Aida stayed silent. That was her game.
He has his games, and she had hers, and if he was very good, then at the very
end he'd get to hear her verbally express how he was making her feel. And if he
was very, very good, he'd get to hear it before then.
Sands� brow furrowed on her
insistence of silence, but he didn�t let it deter him any. He did nip on her
bottom lip for it however but once he had done that he moved his mouth to
replace his hands on her chest, his tongue replacing his fingers as he sucked
and teethed her hardened nipples.
He could hear her now, but all she
was letting out was the sound of her heavy breathing and the sound of her skin
both against his and against the blanket beneath her. Her hands were tangled in
his hair and she was alternately pushing and pulling at his head.
Sands didn�t let her hands in his
hair direct him. This was his game now, not hers. His mouth moved where he
wanted it to, suckling furiously on a nipple in one minute and kissing the soft
skin along her sides, his head moving lower and lower as he moved away from
her. His tongue found her clit and he licked it quickly before moving slowly
back up her body as if he had done nothing of the sort.
Only the sharp pain of her teeth in
her lip had kept Aida from crying out when he'd moved between her legs, but she
had managed to stay silent. However, she was starting to forget why it was so
important to be so under his prolonged attack.
Sands didn�t seem to notice her
distress. He was so focused on the pale expanse of warm flesh beneath him that
everything else faded into the background. He only knew that he had to keep
kissing what lay before him; had to keep embracing that warm clean scent that
sent his heart soaring. His kisses were everywhere, from her sides along each
rib to her inner thighs and beyond. He stopped to taste her again and again,
each time remaining just a little longer. He couldn�t get enough of her and he
knew it. He only wanted more. The feeling of her fingers tangling in his hair
was a distant pleasure only serving to add fuel to the fire that was raging
between his legs. He felt more and more as time passed that he would be
consumed by it, but he didn�t care. He didn�t want to leave her skin. He wanted
to swallow her whole. He wanted to devour her. He wanted their bodies to move
as one. But not yet. He couldn�t give this up yet.
"Sands," she finally
gasped, arching underneath him, trying to display his lips. His kisses were
throwing her to the edge of sensory overload, and once that happened she would
stop responding, and he would feel bad about then taking his pleasure.
His head shot up at his name, his
eyes locking on hers. He took note of how close she was before his head moved
back down to lick a long slow path up her belly and in-between her breasts as
he positioned himself to thrust into her. Once he was sheathed inside of her
deeply he let out a sound of such pure desire and pleasure that it was hard to
imagine that the same lips had been speaking of misery and loss not so long
ago.
Aida whimpered in reply to his
deep, sensually dark moan. She was so close to coming just from having him
inside her that she held him tightly, silently pleading with him not to move
quite yet.
He kept as still as he could,
ignoring the way his body began to minutely tremble in a need to move within
her. But he could wait. He would wait for her because what they had together
right now this intense connection of flesh and souls was worth preserving.
She waited until her lungs started
accepting deep breaths instead of shallow pants before she loosened her grip on
him. Her body relaxed and the look of terrible concentration that had taken
over her face eased. She was ready to enjoy this now.
He tried his very best to keep his
thrusts slow and even in order to draw out the pleasure for both of them, but
it was hard. He knew he couldn�t tone down his arousal like she could and
therefore fought not to be controlled by it. He didn�t want this to end
quickly. In fact, a large part of him didn�t want this to end at all.
"I love you," she
murmured, opening heavy lids to smile up at him. "I really do."
�I love you too, Aida,� he said
with a smile of his own, trying to calm himself as
best he could so he could enjoy this more fully instead of racing towards a
finish.
"Teach me how to say something
sexy in Italian?" she asked, a faintly devilish
grin on her face.
�What do you want to say, Aida?� he
asked, his thoughts too scattered to immediately think up something on his own.
She grinned. "A rather
lo-ooh-loaded question, don't you think?"
Sands blinked, thinking back on
what he has said. �Oh. Maybe. Tell me anyway.�
Aida blushed and shook her head.
�Ok, now
I really want to know,� he gasped,
leaning down to bite at her lip at her refusal.
"Changed my
mind. Don't want you to get a sw-swollen head."
�Too late,� he
drawled wickedly, thrusting deep into her for emphasis and leaving them both
gasping as a result.
"D-don't want you," she
moaned, but continued. "Don't want you to have two swollen heads."
�Why not?� he
breathed into her shoulder, having leaned his head down to rest while the rest
of his body danced with hers.
"You'll laugh."
�So?�
"I don't want you to
laugh."
�I�m not going�laugh,� he moaned as
even without his full concentration he found himself getting closer and closer
to release with each passing breath.
She shook her head in refusal and
raised her head to kiss his neck.
As soon as her lips found contact
with his skin he decided that he didn�t feel quite so curious anymore. If she
didn�t want to tell him what she had been thinking, that was more than fine
with him as long as she kept touching and kissing.
"You're so easy to
distract," she murmured, a smile on her lips.
�You�re distracting,� he responded
in turn, honestly not caring in the least. He could always ask her about it
later.
"Oh good.
Hate to loose my touch."
�So do I.
So keep touching.�
She nibbled on what skin she could
reach, and let her hands wander where they would. Actually trying to control herself wasn't
high on her list of priorities.
Sands moaned at the contact, her
teasing sensual touches arousing him even more. He was like clay in her hands,
his reactions molded to wherever she placed her hands upon him.
"Can we kick things up a
notch?" she asked a few minutes later. She could feel her body starting to
feel as if she might get tired soon. God,
I hate this.
�Tell me what you want,� he moaned.
�And I�ll do it.�
"Stop holding back."
Sands managed a shaky nod before
obliging her request, letting loose all restraints and inhibitions he had left.
His ardor was at least doubled as he began to thrust into her quickly and
deeply, giving her just enough time to feel every inch of him before pulling
back out again. He continued this process over and over again, taking to
grinding his hips against hers once he had thrust into her and holding on to
her tightly as he felt his release loom ever nearer.
Aida's pants returned as she moved
under him as much as she was able. The goal now was to simply find release
before her husband did, because if she didn't, she probably wouldn't come at
all.
Sands just kept up what had always
been doing, striving for release himself as he became blind
to her needs. Well, not entirely blind as evidenced by the hand that snaked
between their flush bodies to finger her clit roughly, wanting to make her
scream.
Her scream was more of a sigh of
relief as she felt her muscles start clenching and rippling uncontrollably. As
she rode the wave of orgasm, she clung to her husband, simply waiting for her
body to relax once more.
He didn�t much longer than she had;
the feeling of her inner muscles drawing him in being far too much for his
already over aroused body to handle. He moaned something which might have been
her name or a curse as he came, letting out a consequent whimpering gasp at
each convulsion. When he had finally given her all he had to give, he rolled
their still joined bodies over so they were lying on their sides and held her
in a fiercely protective gesture, not wanting to let go.
"The hospital will call if you
need to go, right?" Aida asked many minutes later.
�What?� he murmured,
his mind not quite back to full processing speed yet. �Oh. Right.
Yeah, I think they probably would. Just�if you want me to be able to stay,
don�t mention it,� he pleaded softly.
"I do. Want you to stay,"
she whispered.
�I do too,� he said, nuzzling her
neck softly. �I don�t want to have to leave you.�
She squeezed him, but didn't say
anything else. The risk of waking Jeffrey was too great.
He just closed his eyes and
breathed in the scent of her skin, embracing the silence. He could feel Jeffrey
prowling on the edges of consciousness but he held him at bay for now. He knew
it wouldn�t last forever, the need to go to Salida was too great, but for now
he was at peace in the embrace of his own wife.
"Do you want me to come back?"
Aida asked softly. She didn't really want to because most of the time she felt
like she didn't belong there, and the rest of the time she was feeling
uncomfortable because of the chairs.
�Do you�not want to?� he asked
hesitantly, looking up at her.
"If you need me you know I'll
be there."
�That�s not what I asked.�
"It's the answer I'm
giving."
Sands frowned a little at her
non-answer, but nodded. �You don�t have to come. I�ll be alright.�
"And you know how to get a
hold of me." If
you need me.
�I know,� he sighed, holding her a
little closer.
"Good." She fell silent
and pulled him closer, wanting a bit of peace with him while they had it.
�Thank you for this, Aida,� he
whispered as he tilted his head down to meet hers gently.
"For what?" she whispered
back.
�I don�t know. For�being
here now with me. Just us.�
"You don't need to thank me
for that."
�Yes, I do.�
"No. Never.
This is what...who...we are together."
Sands shook his head, silently
disagreeing with her. She needed to know how much this meant to him. She needed
to be thanked. Or else she won�t do it
again. While he knew that wasn�t strictly true, the thought worked itself
into his brain irregardless.
"Yes it is," she said,
cupping his chin so he would look at her.
�Yes it is,
what?� he asked softly, not understanding.
"This is us."
�And why should I not thank you for
that?�
"It's like thanking the sky
for being blue, or fire for being hot."
He tried to shake his head again
but her hand on his chin stopped him. �It�s me thanking you. For
everything.�
"Alright," she gave in
softly, knowing she wouldn't be able to talk him around without a great deal of
effort at the moment, and that would destroy their closeness.
He kissed her gently, glad she
understood. �I love you Aida. My first love. My only
love,� he whispered almost too softly for her to hear.
"I know," she assured
him, stroking his head.
�Do you?� he asked, looking down at
her with wide, desperate eyes. �Do you really?�
"I do. I believe you when you
tell me."
�But do you understand?�
"That you
would do anything for me? Yes."
�I would, you know I would, but
that�s not what I meant,� Sands said with a despondent sigh. �You don�t
understand and I don�t know how to explain it. How can I explain that before I
met you there was no love? That I loved nothing and no one, not even myself? It
can�t be explained. It can�t be understood.� He sighed. �Nevermind,� he
murmured. He didn�t know why he was so desperate for understanding all of a
sudden, but that didn�t matter. He pushed the desire aside.
"Don't brush it aside,"
she whispered, kissing his cheek. "You're right, I can't understand
because I've always been loved, and I've always loved. But I can empathize,
because I've never loved anyone - never
- like I love you."
�Don�t ever leave me, Aida.
Please,� he pleaded frantically. �I don�t want to go back to how I was before.
I don�t.�
"Sands..." she sighed.
What could she possible say? She couldn't promise that with a good conscience.
"You know I don't want to."
Sands made a soft noise, utterly
bereft at her words. �Please promise me, Aida,� he pleaded again before pulling
back from her; a mask sliding behind his eyes just like that. �No. I�m sorry.
It was unfair of me to ask such a thing. Forget I said it, spitfire. I know you
wouldn�t leave me if you had the choice.�
He was lying. Aida's heart sunk. He
knew no such thing. He was just saying it for her benefit.
"Come back," she
whispered, pulling at him gently. All she wanted to do was pull their closeness
back around her like a blanket. The real world was cold.
He was saying it for his own
benefit as well. He needed to believe that she would never leave him or he
didn�t think he could stand it. He let himself be pulled in close to her once
more, but it wasn�t the same. His denial about her life with him was once more
firmly in place effectively hardening him. Not a lot, but enough so that the
desperateness that had been such a large part of his feelings was gone taking
with it some of the need to be close to her as well.
It was a small change, but Aida
felt it, and she didn't huddle as closely to him as she had before. Her arms
weren't as tight, her body wasn't as relaxed. Her eyes didn't close in
contentment; she stared at his shoulder and wondered if this would always be a
point of contention for them. Probably.
�I should probably go,� he
murmured, not really wanting to, but noticing the awkwardness that now lay
between them and not liking it.
She opened her mouth to ask if he
really had to, but then thought better of it. "If that's what you think is
best," she said instead.
�I don�t,� he murmured.
"Then don't go yet. Please."
�Alright,� he said without
hesitation. �I�ll stay.� He wanted to stay. He never wanted to leave her and he
never would unless the choice was taken from him. He didn�t notice that he had
whispered this thought aloud.
Aida didn't comment on it though.
His eyes were faraway and made her think that he
hadn't really been speaking to her. It was simply enough for her that he was
staying for a bit longer.
�I�m sorry I have to leave,� he
murmured absently. �I don�t want to.�
"I know." Just as she
said that, the cell phone rang.
Sands was
tempted to pick it up and throw it against the wall, but he couldn�t. Jeffrey
might as well have been awake staying his hand for all he could do to steal a
few more moments with his wife. �Hello?� he sighed heavily into the phone as he
answered it.
"Mr. Sands? You said you
wished to be called if your wife woke up. Well, she's up, and she's a
little...confused."
Sands sighed. �I�ll be right
there,� he said brusquely, hanging up the phone and turning to Aida. �I have to
go. Come or not, it�s up to you but Jeffrey won�t let me stay here now that
I�he�knows sunrise is awake.�
"Alright.
I'm going to stay here for a bit. Get some sleep. Call me if you need me."
�I will.�
***
Saying Salida was confused was like
saying that it was a little wet during monsoon season. She was in fact, very
confused. She didn't remember where she was, or why, or how she'd gotten hurt...
She didn't remember much of anything. Even trying to get her to remember her
own name was iffy at the moment.
The doctors tried to explain to
Jeffrey that it was because of the head injury she'd sustained, but even they
threw her strange looks when she started talking to people who weren't there.
�Vixen?�
Jeffrey asked hesitantly, clearly uneasy about what he saw before him. Was she
alright? God, would she be alright?
Would she last this way forever?
"It's gone."
�What? What is gone, Salida?� he asked,
almost afraid to.
"Charming.
Charming is gone."
�What do you mean?�
"Gone.
Poof. Always at my side...abandoned. Because I was bad. All alone now."
�You�re not alone, vixen. I�m here.
I didn�t abandon you and you weren�t bad.� He kneeled at her bedside and took
her uninjured hand in his.
She looked him over suspiciously.
"You're not the charming."
�Then who is?� he asked with a soft
sigh.
"Nononononono...what. What is charming.
My charming. Gifts. Lost. Taken away because I was bad."
�I don�t know what you mean,
vixen,� Jeffrey said sadly. �I would help you if I knew. I would try.�
"You gave me charming. Did you
take it?"
�Charming?� he blinked at her
before realisation began to dawn. �Your charm bracelet?
Is that what you mean?�
"It's gone," she
repeated.
�It�s not gone. I�ll get it for
you. I�ll return it to you. I promise,� he vowed, rising to his feet in
determination. This he could do. This gave him purpose again.
"I'm not punished?" she
asked hesitantly.
�Of course not,� Jeffrey sighed,
running a hand along her cheek gently.
"Oh. Okay."
He leaned over her and laid a few
gentle kisses on her face before raising himself up. �I�ll be back with you
bracelet, vixen. It�s a promise.�

"Okay."
Jeffrey sent her a last worried
look before striding out of her room to find the doctor he had talked to
before. Surely he must know where her bracelet was. And if not, then he would
know someone who did.
"Any jewelry would have been
taken off in the trauma room." Dr. Brody was busily updating and perusing
some charts. "A nurse would have listed the personal items and then put
everything in the safe. You can ask at the main desk for your wife's
things." He looked up. "When would you like to hear about your wife's
injuries?"
Jeffrey sighed, the words the bracelet, the bracelet, must find it for
her now running through his head in a fierce tattoo, but common sense and
worry overriding it. �Tell me.�
"Can I get you a cup of
coffee?" Now that Jeffrey was
acting rationally, Dr. Brody was a bit less concerned about this whole case.
Jeffrey shook his head. �Just tell
me.�
"Well, let's at least have a
seat." The doctor led Jeffrey over to a row of uncomfortable
plastic-upholstered seats. "The straight list of your wife's injuries is
rather daunting. A concussion. A
compound fracture of her right femur, left leg broken above the knee. Separated shoulder on the right, dislocated
shoulder on the left along with several broken bones. Damage to her spinal cord
- nothing broken or severed that we can tell, but these things can be hard to
detect. We'll do a spinal tap once she's feeling a bit better to make sure.
Three cracked ribs - one of which scraped her lung. The lung wasn't punctured,
but it will be sore and not up to functioning at one hundred percent for a few
days, or up to as long as a week. Miraculously, her hips and pelvis were fine.
As far as we can tell, it was the shock of landing and the bloodloss
that triggered her miscarriage. We've got the other two babies hooked up to
fetal monitors to detect any signs of other problems, but at the moment they're
doing fine. We have your wife on ninety percent oxygen to compensate for the
damaged lung, and she's receiving nutrients and prenatal vitamin intravenously.
She's on around the clock observation, and we're planning to do daily MRI's for the next few days to make sure there's no
bleeding in the brain that we might have missed. As to her confusion, I'd say
that's a side effect of her concussion and should clear up in a few days."
�Oh,� Jeffrey said, a little
overwhelmed by it all. �But she�s�going to be alright?�
"That's what we hope. Once
she's a bit more coherent, she'll see a neurologist who'll test for nerve
damage, and a psychiatrist, which we have to do according to the state medical
rules."
�Why?� Jeffrey asked warily. �If
she�s alright, then why does she have to see a psychiatrist?�
"Because the state medical
board decided that all possible suicides had to see a shrink. I don't make the rules, I just follow
them."
�But it wasn�t a suicide attempt.
She fell,� he argued. He didn�t like the sound of this at all. Not one fucking
bit. He distrusted all doctors by and large by psychologists and their kin was
the worst.
"It doesn't matter. If I don't
refer her to a psychiatrist, I'll get into trouble."
�You�ll get into trouble?� Jeffrey repeated with an
incredulous laugh. �Oh that�s rich. I feel for you, honestly I do,� he said
dryly.
"Look, there's nothing to
worry about. If this wasn't a suicide attempt, then this won't be anything but
a routine question and answer time."
�Right�� Jeffrey said slowly, not
believing that in the least. �And how long until she can
leave? How long until she can return home?�
"With her
injuries? I'd say an optimistic
ten days."
Jeffrey pursed his lips in thought.
Ten days was quite a long time to stay in one place when the law was after you.
Especially if that one place had knowledge of your true
names. �Alright.�
"Alright.
If you have any questions, the desk can page me. Good day."
�Fuck,� Jeffrey muttered to himself
once the doctor had gone. �This is not good.� He sighed a little at the
predicament they found themselves in and continued his search for Salida�s missing bracelet.
"What was the name
again?" the nurse at the front desk asked as she looked over a clipboard
with several sheaves of paper on it.
Jeffrey sighed. �Sands,� he said
between clenched teeth, knowing that that was what she would be under.
"Sands...Sands...Sands..."
the nurse muttered, running her finger down the list, flipping a page. "Smith. Too far. Ah, here we
go. Sands, Salida. Is that her?"
�Yes,� Jeffrey said, his patience
wearing thin.
"Alright.
One charm bracelet, one tube of chapstick,
five dollars in cash, and a hair clip.
Bag 1400-F." The nurse disappeared for a
moment then reappeared, a Ziplock baggie in hand. She
meticulously checked the contents against the list, then
handed both bag and list over to Jeffrey. "Sign for the items,
please?"
Jeffrey scowled to see Salida�s cherished possessions-well maybe not the chapstick, but still- handed over like so much garbage. It
made him want to break things. But he withheld, signing his name in a sprawling
scrawl with his left hand and threw the pen back down on the pad when he was
done. �Is this it?�
"According
to the list. Should there be more?"
�I suppose not,� Jeffrey muttered,
turning to leave before the nurse could respond. He made his way down the white
halls, dumping the contents of the bag into his hand before letting it fall to
the floor, forgotten. He walked softly up to her side and presented the
bracelet in front of her eyes. �I told you I would find it for you, vixen,� he
said gently.
"Find wh..."
She recognized what was in his hand before she could finish the question. For a moment she looked very confused,
looking at her bracelet in his hand, and then down at her left wrist; it was
covered by a cast.
"Thank you," she said
slowly, knowing that that much at least was the right thing to say.
�Would you like me to put it on
your right?� he asked slowly. �If�if not, I could hold on to it for you until
you could put it on your left again.�
She shook her head. "I want
it. Don't want to forget it again."
�Alright,� he agreed, attaching it
to her right wrist delicately. �We won�t let them take it from you again. Would
you�like me to get you some more charms?� He was trying very hard to make her
happy for he didn�t know what else to do for her. He couldn�t tell her about
her injuries and upcoming visit with the psychiatrist. Not yet. Not while she
didn�t yet have her wits about her again. He would have to tell her soon
though. He needed to prepare her.
"For
Nicholas? So I'll remember him?"
Jeffrey bowed his head a little but
nodded. �Yes. For him.�
"And one for
you?"
He looked up at her at a loss. �For me? But�do you want one for me?�
"So I don't forget you. I
forget everything."
�You wouldn�t forget me, vixen.�
"I do. I forget
everything."
�You didn�t forget your charm
bracelet.�
"I did. Just
now remembered charming."
�You had other things on your mind
before. That doesn�t mean you forgot.�
"No, no mind. Fell out. Smooshed,
ran out my ears."
�No, it didn�t. You�re mind is
right where you left it, my love.�
"Where did I leave it? Did I
leave it with charming?"
�You didn�t leave it anywhere. It�s
been right in here,� he kissed her forehead, �all along.�
She rubbed her forehead with her
good hand, as if feeling around for her brain.
�It�s still there where it always
has been. I promise you.�
She sighed, but didn't argue.
�It�s just a little fuzzy at the
moment, that�s all. You�ll be better soon.�
"Fuzzy like
a teddy bear?"
�Not quite, but close enough.�
"Oh. I like teddy bears. Or I
think I do. Not sure I've ever really seen one."
�Would you like me to show you one?
I could do that.�
"Okay." She smiled.
He smiled to see her smile. �I love
you, Salida. I love you very much,� he said softly, kneeling down at her side
again to look up at her.
"You do?" she asked, a
hint of surprise in her voice.
�Very much so,
yes.�
"Well...I guess that's
okay. If you want
to."
�Why wouldn�t I?�
"I don't know."
�Oh. Well I do.�
"Okay."
�Is there anything else you would
like me to bring you, vixen?�
"No, I don't think so."
He laid his head down on top of her
hand gently, suddenly feeling very tired. �Do you want me to go for these
things now? Or later?� he mumbled into the bed.
"You can stay."
�Ok,� he murmured, tilting his head
so it lay in the cup of her hand. She wasn�t really holding him, but it felt
like she was and he liked that.
"Jeffrey? When can we go
home?"
�Ten days,� he murmured, not
lifting his head. �Ten days and you�ll be better.�
"And we can go
home?" She was envisioning their
house in New Orleans.
�I don�t know,� he said honestly.
Just because Rivers was now dead didn�t mean that New Orleans was safe for them
again. �We�ll see.�
"Okay."
�For now, you don�t have to worry
about anything, vixen. Leave everything to me. I�ll do it all,� he promised
solemnly. Even if it
kills me.
"O-okay."
Salida wasn't sure if she liked that or not.
�You just rest and relax and be happy.�
"Happy?"
�Well�as happy as you can be.
Considering,� he murmured.
Considering I killed one of my children?
Salida turned her head towards the wall.
Hearing her move-he hadn�t yet
lifted his head to look at her-only served to make his own fading spirits drop.
�I�m sorry, vixen. I shouldn�t have mentioned it,� he muttered.
"No...you
were right."
�About what,� he asked bleakly,
raising his head up to look at her again out of eyes lined in exhaustion.
"Hmm?"
She turned back to him, her eyes a bit blank.
�You said I was right. About what, vixen?�
"I did?"
Jeffrey sighed wearily. Whatever
she had meant, it wasn�t worth the bother now. �Nevermind.
It was nothing.�
"I'm sorry. I'm frustrating. I
don't mean to be."
�It�s alright, vixen. I�m not mad.
I�m just a little tired, that�s all.�
"Gonna
sleep?"
He shook his head. �Too much to do and worry about.�
"You're tired. You should
sleep. I'll worry."
�You don�t need to worry about me,
Salida. I�ll be alright. A little less sleep isn�t going to kill me.�
"But I wanna
help."
�You are helping.�
"I am?"
He nodded. �Just sitting here
talking to you like this helps.�
"It does?" She frowned. "But I don't always make
sense...or I don't think I do."
�That doesn�t matter,� Jeffrey
assured her. �I don�t always make sense all of the time either.�
"Cents and
dollars?"
�I have a lot of dollars, but not a
lot of cents.�
"No cents.
Married me."
Jeffrey shook his head with a small
smile on his face. �No, I do believe that marrying you was the most sensible
thing I have ever done.�
"No cents.
Didn't cost money."
�Sure it did. But that�s not what I
meant.�
"You got money?"
�I got you. You�re better than
money.�
"Can't trade
me for things."
�I wouldn�t want to. I want to keep
you.�
"Very
collectable. Worth more in a few years."
Jeffrey shook his head again.
�You�re already priceless.�
She nodded. "Auction me
off. Bidding starts at one dollar per
piece."
�You can�t auction something off
that�s priceless, vixen. It doesn�t work that way.�
"Put me in a glass case."
�But then you would get dusty.�
"Housekeeper
to come by and dust me. Very fragile. Don't
drop."
�I wouldn�t hire someone to look
after you, vixen. That�s my job.�
"You'll dust me and keep me
from breaking into a zillion pieces? Wouldn't be very valuable then."
�I will.�
"Alright."
�I won�t let you break, vixen. I
won�t let you sit and gather dust like some forgotten thing. I will love and
cherish you every day of your life.�
"Gonna
polish me?"
Jeffrey bit his tongue to keep from
saying the innuendo that had sprang to mind, thinking she wouldn�t appreciate
it at the moment. He settled for a nod.
"Because if
I broke, I wouldn't be priceless anymore, right?"
�You�d always be priceless to me,
Salida.�
"Even all cracked and glued
together?"
�Always.�
"Are they going to glue me
together soon so we can go home?"
�Yes. Very soon.�
"How long will the glue take
to dry?"
�Ten days.�
"Will I be all sticky?"
�No. You�ll be clean.�
"If I'm not sticky, why do we
have to wait ten days?"
�To make sure it sets.�
"Set, game,
match. I lost."
�I�d say it was more of a draw. It
could have been worse,� he murmured.
"What ran into me? Did
something run into me? Can't remember."
�Then don�t worry about it, vixen.
It�s not worth worrying about now if you can�t remember it.�
"It's not?"
Jeffrey hesitated. How much was
their son worth? How much would he give to have him back again? �Nothing ran
into you.�
"You're right. I ran into the
ground. Stupid thing to do."
�It�s alright, vixen. You didn�t
mean to.�
"I think I did. Not really, but a little."
Jeffrey didn�t quite know what to
say to that. He felt a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth but valiantly
tried to fight it off. She didn�t need him being depressed right now. She
needed his reassurance and love. And that was what he would give to her. �I
don�t think you did.�
"I wanted to scare you. I
wanted to scare myself."
�Why?�
"Wanted to
feel something. Now I feel too much."
�That�s the way feelings work, I
think,� he said with a sigh. �At certain times you�re worried you won�t feel
anything at all and then at others you can�t stop them.�
"No, I hurt." Salida
closed her eyes and took a few shallow breaths. Her right hand came up to press
at the area over her heart.
�I know you do vixen,� he murmured,
moving his hand so that it lay atop of hers. �I do too,� he said softly.
"Je-jeffrey..." Salida's breath
hitched.
�Shh. It
will be alright, Salida,� he promised her, wrapping his arms around her as best
he could while making sure not to aggravate her injuries.
"Something's wrong," she
managed to gasp.
Jeffrey pulled away to look at her,
worry in his face at the tone of her voice. �Tell me. Tell me what�s wrong, vixen.�
"My-my heart..."
�Your heart
what?� Jeffrey asked, his voice becoming frantic.
Salida's
eyes rolled up into her head, and she passed out.
�Vixen?
Answer me. This isn�t funny. Salida? Please talk to
me. Wake up. Don�t do this,� Jeffrey pleaded, shaking her as gently as he could
when every muscle in his body was screaming to pull her out of the bed and hold
her close and keep her safe from hurt and harm.
Salida didn't respond until Jeffrey
had gotten up to find the nurse that was promised to be nearby, and that's when
she chose to let out a low moan.
Jeffrey turned immediately around
and moved quickly to her side once more. �Vixen? Talk
to me, please. Are you alright?�
"Why do I hurt? Where am
I?"
Jeffrey drew back at her voice, so
starkly different from her normal lightly accented tones. Her words were stark
and clipped, without an accent at all. �Vixen?� he asked hesitantly.
The woman on the bed tried to sit
up, and when she found out that she couldn't she started to panic. "No, not again. Not again. Don't do this to me again.
I've been good. Don't want to be
here."
�Shh, Tess shh. You�re in a
hospital, but not for those reasons. You�ve been hurt. You�re going to be fine.
Just stay calm or they fucking will
lock us both up,� he hissed, quickly taking stock of the situation.
She stopped struggling, but Tess
was by no means still. Her entire body
was tense and trembling, trembling enough to make the IV tube gently sway back
and forth. "Don't let them trap me,"
she asked, her voice very small. "Not again. Don't want to be lost like that again."
�Listen to me, Tess,� he said
firmly, making sure her attention was focused on him. �I won�t let them do
anything to you but you have too calm down. If those fucking doctors think
you�re a risk to yourself they�ll lock you up. Do you understand? I won�t let
them touch you, but you have to help me convince them you�re alright. Will you
do that for me?�
She didn't stop trembling, but she
did nod jerkily.
�You�re going to be just fine. Vix�Salida had a bit of an�accident
and that�s why she�s in the hospital.� He wasn�t going to go into details with
this cold woman who was not his wife.
"Big accident," she
murmured, her right hand clenching so tightly that her knuckles were white.
Jeffrey nodded. �Yes�it was big,�
he murmured dully.
"Hurts..."
�I know it does. I can only say
that you�re going to be alright. In time. Or rather Salida will.�
"How many
drugs?"
�I don�t know. Enough
for this to happen, apparently.�
"How
bad?"
�Bad enough,� he hedged.
"It's my body," Tess
said, her voice shaking along with the rest of her. "Tell me. Please."
Jeffrey frowned but nodded
brusquely and began to list off the injuries tonelessly. �Broken legs,
dislocated shoulders, cracked ribs, a concussion.
Among�other things,� he murmured.
"I suppose that means we're
not getting out of here anytime soon."
�Ten days. After�a psych
evaluation,� he said hesitantly, promising himself he would tell Salida as soon
as she was able to understand this.
"Fuck," Tess whispered,
closing her eyes.
�Basically, yeah,� he muttered.
"Does she know yet?"
�No. She hasn�t exactly
been�coherent lately.�
"The
drugs?"
�And the
concussion, apparently.�
"Makes
sense. Is there anything to drink?"
Jeffrey nodded and sighed a little as he moved to give this�interloper a glass of water.
Tess took in her good hand, knowing
Jeffrey wasn't going to want to help her, and tried to drink. Her hand was
trembling so badly though that the only thing she accomplished was dumping
melted ice chips down her front. Dismayed, she started to silently cry.
Jeffrey frowned at her tears,
seeing his wife even thought he knew it wasn�t her. His frown only deepened as
he moved to help her, drying her as best he could before holding the retrieved
cup to her lips. All this was done with the utmost care and gentleness, but he
spoke not a word.
"Thank you," Tess
whispered, wiping at her tears angrily. "Usually
I know better."
�Know better than what?�
"Crying.
Father didn't have patience for it. I thought I'd broken the habit."
�Yeah well vixen�you�you�re fucking
pregnant. You�re supposed to be emotional.� Though he was
speaking of emotion, his own voice remained free of it.
"That's not an excuse."
�Fine. Whatever. You shouldn�t have cried then.�
Tess sighed. "I'd go away if I
could, but I can't right now."
�Why not?�
"Things are in a bit of an
uproar."
�Oh. I can understand that,� he
murmured. His own head was a bit loud at the moment now too. Probably not as
loud as Sands� was right now, but louder than he liked.
"Why did she...?"
�Why did she what? Hurt herself? To prove a point. Why did
she leave? I don�t know.�
Just then a doctor came in, and
Tess went stiff as a board. If she'd been anything other than incapacitated,
she'd be out of here by now.
�Was there something else you
needed doctor?� Jeffrey asked, trying to sound weary with the visits. It wasn�t
hard.
"Just came in to check on our
patient." Brody made a note on his clipboard, then
smiled the woman on the bed. "How are you feeling, Salida?"
"I-I'm not..." Tess
stopped before she could say that she wasn't Salida. A glaze of panic came over
her eyes, and all she could do was sit and stare silently.
�I�request that you let her rest,
doctor,� Jeffrey said evenly. �You can check on her later.�
"I just have a few questions.
It's about time for another dose of meds -"
"No," Tess whimpered,
once again struggling, but now it was against an imagined foe.
�Please, doctor. Can�t you see that
she doesn�t want to see you right now? If you care at all about the health of
your patient then you�ll leave her alone for a little while longer. She�s been
through a lot and you can clearly see she�s frightened. Please, let me alone
with her. Let me try and calm her down a little before you come to speak with
her again. Please,� Jeffrey pleaded, not liking where this was going at all.
"What's going on here?"
Brody asked suspiciously as Tess continued to whimper at someone who wasn't
there. "What is your wife talking about?"
�She�s�praying. Please, she�s been
through a trauma. You�re not helping anyone here. If you continue to distress
her like this, I will have to take it up with your superiors. You have sworn to
do no harm. Look at her, doctor. Does she look unharmed to you?� he waved a
hand a Tess� clearly terrified form.
"No. If you want me to be
quite frank, she looks as if she's having some kind of psychotic episode. I
need to know why. If it's because one of her pain meds has interacted with a
prescription that's not on her chart..."
�It�s not. She isn�t on anything
but the fucking drugs you people have been giving her. I�d look to your own
prescriptions before accusing either of us of something. Maybe I should
consider filing a malpractice suit.�
"We're very thorough when it
comes to this kind of thing. If it's not her meds, it's something else. Is
there something you didn't put on your wife's file, Mr. Sands?"
Jeffrey hesitated and it was
damning.
"What is she, Mr. Sands? Some
pain medications can trigger episodes more easily than others."
�Schizophrenic,� Jeffrey murmured
under his breath.
Brody cursed and looked down at his
clipboard. "We'll need to change all her meds."
Jeffrey just frowned and looked
over at the woman who was not his wife.
"Why did you conceal such
important information?" the doctor demanded to know.
Jeffrey raised his chin and met the
doctor�s gaze unflinchingly. �Because she wouldn�t want you
to know. Despite everything. We are not
figments. We are people,� he growled before his eyes went wide at what he had
unintentionally said. �She doesn�t like to talk about it and more than most of
the time she�s fine,� he went on hurriedly.
The doctor looked at him
skeptically, but he left the room. A nurse came into the room in his place,
sending Tess off again. She cried. She promised to be go.
She begged "them" not to hurt her.
Jeffrey glided to her side and
gently but insistently placed his hands on either side of her head and forced
her to look at him. �Listen to me right now, Tess,� he hissed under his breath,
not caring that the nurse was in the room. �No one is trying to hurt you, do
you understand? And the more you freak out the more they�re going to worry. So
look at me and understand. You are not
going to be hurt.�
"No drugs," she
whispered, caught by his gaze. "Don't make me go away. Don't trap me in
there."
�You don�t belong here, Tess,�
Jeffrey whispered back to her. �I�m not going to tell the doctors to suppress
you, but this is not your life anymore. It�s hers.�
"Don't trap me inside with
them. Don't close the door."
�That�s not up to me. It�s up to
her.�
"But I don't like spiders. I
don't like the dark. I'll be good. I promise. I'll get all the answers right
next time."
�Tess, you have the ability to
imagine a world for yourself however you wish it to be. There don�t have to be
any spiders or darkness. It can be anything you like.�
"No! Don't lock me inside,
Papa! I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
�Look around, Tess. Your father is
not here. He�s gone.�
"Sir, you're not going to get
through to her right now." The nurse who had been exchanging Salida/Tess'
IV bags, laid her hand on Jeffrey's arm. "She doesn't know who she's
talking to."
�And you don�t know what you�re
talking about,� Jeffrey growled, shaking off her hand. �I have to try. My wife
is still in there somewhere.�
"And she'll come around again if you're only patient."
�Fuck patience. Who has time for it?� Jeffrey muttered.
"You do, sir. Because you're not
helping." The words were
harsh, but true. Tess was cringing and crying in his grip, halfheartedly trying
to get away.
Jeffrey saw how he was hurting her and pulled his hands back
fast as if he had been burned. �I just want my wife back,� he murmured
despondently.
"Patience," the nurse intoned, going back to her
work briefly before leaving the room.
Tess had quieted down now that she was no longer being touched
and no one was in her field of vision. She simply sat staring into space,
occasionally letting out a moan.
Jeffrey sat down heavily in a chair at her side, unable to
do anything else. He couldn�t help but think that maybe his wife was never
coming back. Maybe he would be stuck with this frigid woman for the rest of his
life. A woman so terrified in her own skin that she could
never be whole. She would spend her life running from something that
wasn�t even necessarily chasing her. Jeffrey sympathized
someone at that, but not enough to not want her gone. He just wanted his wife
back. He just wanted this whole nightmare to end and yet it kept going. It
would never end. He knew that now. There would be no happiness ever again. Even if Salida came back. There was nothing left for them.
They were broken beyond repair. And yet, he couldn�t be. He had to pick up the
pieces and hold her together as best as he could even as he lost himself in the
process. Kitty had been right. No one was there for him. He had no one but
himself. He tried to tell himself that that didn�t matter, but he wasn�t buying
it.
Finally, Tess' eyes closed, and she went to sleep, leaving
the room in dead silence, except for the beeping of the many machines that
surrounded her.
Jeffrey�s closed along with hers in overwhelming sorrow
instead of sleep. He let himself wallow for a brief second before pushing his
grief back into the deep corner of his mind that it had escaped from. She
needed him to be strong. He could do nothing else.
***
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More Than Darkness