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The Faithful and Ferocious	By : HatefulWitch Category: Star Wars (All) > Slash - Male/Male Views: 3334 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own the plot, characters, or creation of Star Wars, nor do I make any money off of it.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Author's Note: I totally stole the fan theory that Sidious killed Padmé and incorporated it into this fanfic. I wanted to make it clear that RetroZap came up with that idea (I'm pretty sure), not me.
Obi-Wan still wasn't altogether sure what happened that first night. Anakin went from zero to hyperspeed in less than a millisecond without explanation. Between the incidents in the fresher, the bedroom, on the couch, and in the Sea, it was clear the unexpected shift came down to insecurity, self-doubt, and self-deprecation. His ferocious, bizarre rant did little more than convince Obi-Wan that fragments of darkness were still embedded inside him, contorting his emotions and thoughts. It also convinced the Jedi Master the choice countermeasure was meditation. If he could initiate a Force bond with Anakin, he knew it would help mollify these cyclonic emotions. The challenge was persuading Anakin to comply. He despises meditating, but he particularly despises meditating with me.
Aside from meditation, he decided he said the wrong thing in response to Anakin's tirade. It was too aggressive. Even worse, much, much worse, he'd gotten annoyed. There was absolutely zero room for that. His best friend was not well. If he could not give Anakin the best love and care possible, he needed to step aside and find someone else that could. A heavy ache drummed in his chest. No one in creation loves and cares for him like I do. He took a deep, unsteady breath. I will do better. His ruminations were interrupted when his housemate stumbled across the sitting room like a crippled drunkard. He swiftly exited the kitchen and hustled to the staggering man's side to act as a crutch, "Are you alright?"
"Need to sit down," Anakin groaned through hitching breaths.
Obi-Wan slowly conducted them to the couch and considerately lowered his twitchy-eyed friend to the cushions. Anakin sluggishly reclined against the back of the couch as the Jedi kneeled on the floor next to his right leg, "Tell me what you need."
That's when sunlight struck an odd sheen on the front of the short-of-breath man's tunic. Obi-Wan had to inspect it closely for a minute before he realized what it was. Blood. The concept of permission didn't even cross his unnerved mind when he grasped the hem of the shirt and cautiously pulled it up. Downreaching, bloody gashes marred Anakin's stomach and ribs. Exactly like the ones from before. He speedily sat on the couch and went to work healing the two imbrued wounds, covertly snooping around for any additional damage while the gory marks sewed themselves shut. The stillness and silence engulfing them was unsettling, but he waited until the familiar blue-white glows came and went before embarking on any inquests. Once the wounds were sealed closed, he fearfully pinched the younger man's chin to draw their eyes together, "Did you just do that to yourself?"
"No."
"Anakin," Obi-Wan's teeth nearly chattered, "do not lie to me."
The Tatooinian sounded insulted, "I'm not lying."
"You can't expect me to believe that."
"Believe what you want," Anakin heatedly yanked his chin out of the grip.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes, took a breath, and tried to level, "How'd it happen then?"
"Why ask that, Obi-Wan?" the Forceful waspishly scoffed. "I'm only going to fripping lie to you."
"That's not what I meant. I don't think you're a liar," his fingers thread through his hair in exasperation.
"That's what you called me."
"No-"
"Yes, it is."
The sneering tone tunneled under Obi-Wan's skin and through every capillary in his body. He turned to draw one of his legs onto the couch, "You come out of your bedroom with bloody wounds on your torso. I know I didn't do it and I know nobody else has been in the house. What am I supposed to believe?"
Anakin irritably pointed at his own chest, "You're supposed to believe me when I tell you I didn't cause them."
"What did?"
His legs lifted onto the couch and he turned away from his inquisitive housemate, "What does it matter? You wouldn't believe me anyway."
Obi-Wan bit back his rude retort. Thankfully he realized he again let himself get flustered before he got carried away. What is wrong with me? Anakin had always been a hellion and he was always armed with ample amount of patience when it came to their relationship. Why was he becoming so antagonistic? Because I'm worried to the bone about him. His hands slid down his face and stopped over his mouth. He just wanted Anakin to be better. The only reason he was being so abrasive was because he knew he couldn't simply fix this. He couldn't give some thought-provoking advice or apply handfuls of bacta or employ his lightsaber and fix this. He was frustrated with his own impotence and he was taking it out on Anakin. It has to stop.
Any and all frustration was extinguished when he realized his out-of-character behavior boiled down to one truth: I love him and I want to take care of him. If their relationship still resembled what it once was even a little bit, he knew how to de-escalate this situation.
"This conversation is giving me déjà vu from when you were a teenager."
When shoulders began to shake, he thought his comment made Anakin cry. Immense relief washed over him when he discerned little snickers. Anakin didn't turn towards him, but he could picture that ravishing, brilliant smile, "If I look over there, are you going to have the thousand-yard stare?"
He leaned over to settle his chin on an emaciated shoulder, "You still can't let things go is all."
"What, like people calling me a liar?"
"See?" He smiled and gripped Anakin's elbow. "I'm worried about you, alright? I'm trying to make sure I'm taking care of you and not missing anything."
"You're not missing anything." He released the knobby elbow in his grasp and lifted his head. However, a cybernetic hand quickly curled around his wrist, "Sit with me for a while."
The mechno-hand tugged him closer, bringing his chest considerably close to Anakin's back. He again settled his chin on the brunette's shoulder and twisted his legs into a more comfortable position. The hems of his sleeves ended up in wads in mismatched hands and their conversation ended up straying quite far from the previous one.
"You couldn't have possibly been staying in Theed."
"Lake Country. I found an abandoned hut."
"What made you go to the Lake Country to begin with?" During the ensuing prolonged silence, it occurred to Obi-Wan that Senator Amidala was from Naboo. Lake Country must have held special meaning. It was best to head down a new line of questioning, "How did you get there?"
"You'll love this story," Anakin facetiously proclaimed. "I was on a subjugator-class heavy cruiser and I stole a prototype for an Imperial starship."
Obi-Wan shook his head, "Only you."
The tale proceeded on a measurably quieter note, "Sidious dragged me off that black sand bank and put me on the battleship in the medical bay. Droids stabilized me, cleaned out my lungs with hypermotile cilia, attached the modules, the synth-net neural interface, the alloy ligaments…" He leaned the side of his head against Obi-Wan's, "Of course, I found the armored shielding I wanted later."
"I would have been shocked and appalled if you didn't."
He paused to smile. He missed being able to talk with Obi-Wan more than anything. Beginning only a few months after he very first arrived on Coruscant, they'd always been able to have hours-long conversations and debates. They could converse about anything from cybernetics to politics to logical atomism to what is nothing and keep each other entertained. How did their lives get so far away from that? Existence was now nothing but a constant orbit of turmoil and agony. I guess now my miserable existence is a theme in our discourse.
His smile slowly dwindled as he recalled the detestable topic at hand, "Sidious told me while I was still rehabilitating that I killed Padmé. I tried to choke him. He'd told me he would help save her. That was the whole Force-damn point." The hands in his rotated and grabbed ahold of his fingers. "When he told me she was gone, I wanted to...annihilate him, but I was too blinking weak. As soon as I could move I stole that starship and headed for Naboo."
His head leaned back against Obi-Wan's shoulder, "I killed everyone onboard and took it. I still wasn't completely myself." A dejected laugh escaped his lips, "Or maybe I was. I don't know who I am anymore."
He paused to take calming breaths, but the only breaths that helped calm him were the heated ones fanning over his neck and ear. He closed his eyes and focused on Obi-Wan's breath puffing against his skin, "I couldn't locate Sidious before I left. I was in a preternatural state where I wanted to set the solar system ablaze, but at the same time, I wanted to break down. Not do anything else. Just sit and cry. I felt like sunspots were all over my brain and I couldn't decide who I was or where I should be or what I wanted. All I knew was I had done terrible things."
Tears prickled behind his eyes, "I didn't know what reconditioned me. I didn't know why I wasn't still barreling down the dark path. I know now." He tilted his mouth towards his friend's ear, "Sidious killed Padmé. He used the dark side of the Force to slowly transfer her Living Force to mine and keep me alive after our battle. That's why she slipped away without reason. Her life was given to me."
Obi-Wan craned his neck back so he could turn his head and look Anakin in the eye, "How can you be certain of that?"
"The medical droids worked on me for two rotations, Obi-Wan. I was still overcome for two rotations after Mustafar. I felt Padmé's Living Force during that time." Tears drizzled from flashing sapphires, "Sidious told me she was dead and I stopped feeling her once they were done operating on me after those two rotations. Everything you told me in the corvette... There's no doubt.
"I had a hard time recalling exactly what happened. I couldn't remember how viciously I'd attacked her, if what I'd… All this time I wasn't sure if I was the one that killed her like Sidious said or if I imagined feeling her energy. When the darkness left me, it left a black haze on my memory and I wasn't completely sure what was real and what wasn't. Over time the haze started to dissipate, but there were still certain things I couldn't recall. I could recall what happened between us, I could recall I helped kill Windu, but I still couldn't recall if I killed Padmé."
Wet eyes turned towards the ceiling, "Sidious left that battleship thinking he cemented his hold on me. In reality, Padmé's Living Force cured me. I was disoriented and I wasn't thinking clearly, I did whatever I needed to to get away and not be found until I could get my head on straight, but I was cured of the dark side. Her light drove the darkness out of me." Anakin wiped his cheek, "Palpatine didn't know all of her Living Force would save me. He couldn't have known or he never would have done what he did." His free hand waved emphatically, "She died for me. My children should be in their mother's arms and I should be dead."
Obi-Wan tightened his hold when the brokenhearted sobs started, straightening his back and pulling the Tatooinian closer against his chest. His forehead rested against the back of wild curls and he merely allowed Anakin to mourn Padmé. It was highly unlikely there'd ever been a proper mourning period and if it was something Anakin needed, it was something Obi-Wan would ensure he received. The heart-wrenching sobs dragged on for some time but gradually slowed to only stray tears and sniffles.
The Stewjonian nuzzled butterscotch brown locks, "For what it's worth, I thank the Force every rotation you're not dead." There was a negligible squeeze to his arm. "You said it yourself: Darth Sidious did this. You had no say in the matter."
"If I hadn't fallen to the dark side to begin with, it never would have happened."
His hand settled at the base of the back of Anakin's neck, "Senator Amidala loved you. She wouldn't want you to spend your life mourning things that could have been."
Anakin rotated his head to regard Obi-Wan through his peripheral vision, "She wouldn't still love me after all the terrible shit I did."
I do. "Yes, she would."
"Now you're lying."
Obi-Wan threw his hand up in the air and snorted, "See?"
::::
He decided he wasn't going to do it, no matter what Obi-Wan said to him. It was a strain, a burden, and a harrowing trip down memory lane. Whenever he tried to meditate during his residence in the Lake Country, it customarily ended in busted skin and furniture. The instance he entered a meditative state, that loathsome voice corkscrewed between his ears. The indictments and invectives cannibalized his heart, eating out each ventricle until he was blind with odium, ready to butcher and eradicate. Meditation was torture.
Still, it was forced in his face every hour.
If meditation ever needed an advertiser, Obi-Wan would have been its first pick. He constantly hounded Anakin to meditate, repeatedly explaining how soothing and enlightening the practice was as if Anakin had never meditated before. The younger Force-user offered a polite no when the hounding first started. The more unrelenting it became, the more acerbic his reactions became. Even worse, he was never allowed to simply decline and go about his day. He must explain why, why, why.
Revealing the existence of an unsourced voice growling in his ears was out of the question. That would be it. Obi-Wan's Jedi learnedness would be triggered the second he exposed something dark still lingering inside him. He had no misgivings about it. If his old master came at him for any reason, he would kneel down and wait for the deathblow. There are more dishonorable deaths than ones dealt by Obi-Wan Kenobi. He would never again be able to knock his dearest friend about, not while he had a single whit of control left.
It was more preferable to keep his ailment under wraps. A lack of knowledge meant a lack of confrontation. There was only one problem: this secret affected how he interacted with Obi-Wan. His unrequited love, his marriage- these were not secrets that could harm Obi-Wan. The dark side leaving a footprint inside of him? That could end up hurting Obi-Wan and he didn't like keeping it under wraps. He was already nervous about this terrible secret and it didn't help his anxiety to know how extraordinarily perceptive his old master was. His attempts at acting like a voice hadn't taken up residence in his head often resulted in the opposite effect. If it didn't seem like he was a nerve burner after that first night, his behavior since most likely made good arguments.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan called out authoritatively, "why are you creeping down the hallway like that?"
Anakin jumped in surprise then vehemently denied, "I'm not! There was no amount of creeping going on here! I was walking!"
"With your back pressed against the wall?"
You were certainly creeping.
That malignant voice chattered on the entire time Obi-Wan had been cooking dinner. After half an hour, he got frustrated and restless and tried to get from the kitchen to his room without drawing any attention. The mission was incontestably a failure. The ludicrous excuse that sprung to mind was sure to make him seem even more shady, but he gave it no less, "I was trying to provoke a surge of nitrogen into my facet joints."
Obi-Wan never looked so unconvinced in his life. Even still, he only crossed his arms and announced, "Dinner is ready."
Anakin slapped a hand over his face after his suspicious friend turned back into the sitting room. A few more months with this behavior and pathetic little Anakin will be left all by his lonesome. He gritted his teeth and elected not to respond to the contentious voice as he trudged to his room. It was a known fact Obi-Wan didn't like drama. The galaxy heaps enough on you without having to deal with frivolous drama, he once said. Anakin had always given his best friend big bang headaches with his excessive crises and he knew they'd only doubled in number and intensity in the last five years. Unless the Jedi's tolerance managed to grow (unlikely), it wouldn't take much time for his behavior to drive his former master away. The practical solution was to change his behavior. There must be a way to exorcise this demon and silence this voice in his head. There was decidedly nothing he wouldn't suffer to stay with Obi-Wan.
Anakin was so lost in contemplation he didn't see or hear the object of his thoughts step cross-armed into his doorway. Obi-Wan curiously observed Anakin standing stalk still near the corner of the bedroom, fixedly holding his hands over his temples with his elbows jutting away from his body. The curious observer remained silent as he tried to figure out what mood Anakin was in. The questionable behavior in the hallway indicated nervousness and now the nervousness seemed to have mixed with dolor or pain. He was unable to withstand the anguish adorning Anakin's face another second, "Are you not hungry?"
The surprised man gave a slight start and his hands fell from his face, "What?" The question registered without it having to be repeated and his head shook, "Oh, um, no, I'm not hungry, sorry. I'll get something later."
"You keep saying that." Obi-Wan marched into the room and intentionally cornered Anakin to prevent any pacing, "For the last month, you keep saying you aren't hungry and you'll get something later, but you never do."
The bony brunette's eyelids beat hastily and his nostrils flared, "I'm not going to eat when I'm not hungry."
The Jedi Master slowly closed the remaining distance between them. Their eyes locked and he cautiously stretched one of his hands forward so the movement could clearly be seen. His hand came to rest on Anakin's concave stomach, "You're underweight and malnourished. You need to start eating regularly."
Anakin closed his shining eyes and took a step back to detach the touch from his stomach, "It frightens you."
"Yes, it frightens me that you don't eat," Obi-Wan softly conceded.
"No." His voice cascaded out in broken torrents, "No, I mean me. I frighten you, don't I? How I…how I look like a skeleton."
"I did not say that, Anakin," the older man firmly stated and gingerly gripped black-clothed shoulders. "I only want you to be healthy."
You disgust him. No, Obi-Wan cares about me. He doesn't care about you. You're not a Jedi, you're not a man, you're not a redeemable soul. You're a virulent skeleton that must be kept in his place. He didn't say that. He didn't say I'm a skeleton. Stop putting words in his mouth. Just because he didn't say it doesn't mean that isn't precisely what he thinks. You don't know what he thinks. We both do and even if we didn't, it's quite clear how deformed and sickening you look. I'd be worried his keen observational aptitudes had been lost if he didn't notice that. Leave me alone. Never, my sweet.
He could hardly see the profound worry in Obi-Wan's eyes through his plump tears, but he felt the grip on his shoulders contract, "Want to come to the kitchen and get some dinner?"
"No."
First and foremost, he wasn't hungry. He didn't want to deal with the awkward situation of sitting at the kitchen table while Obi-Wan stared at him, waiting for him to eat food he wasn't going to eat. Secondly, if suffering the incessant blathering of that voice for the last forty-five minutes hadn't convinced him he needed to get a plan, those disappointed emerald eyes certainly had. The disappointment was eliminated when he entreated, "I want you to meditate with me."
There was no hesitation in Obi-Wan's smile or answer, "Then let's meditate."
He turned with the intent to go to the sitting room so they could sit on the couch and meditate together, but fingers hooked around his and turned him back towards the corner of the bedroom. The light touch on his fingers was gone by the time he turned and found Anakin lowering cross-legged to the floor. The smile he was given was the only convincing he needed. He sat parallel on the floor and mimicked his housemate's position, but his location was not approved of. Anakin forthrightly ordered, "I need you closer."
He felt thrills go down his back at the demand. Without a word, he scooted closer to the younger Forceful until their knees were almost touching. He figured he was close enough when sky-blue eyes closed. His eyes closed as well and his breathing evened out by the time his concentration zeroed in on Anakin and the Force. The words flowed like a solar wind, "The Force is around us. It is between us. Feel it in the sunlight. Feel it in the earth. Know it as it enters your lungs and sings in your veins. It lives without and it lives within.…"
As the meditation pressed on, Anakin felt feverish. Heat rambled through every nerve ending in his body. Head light and muscles numb. It'd been five long years since he felt comprehensive connection to the Force and it'd been even longer, around nine years, since he felt connection to Obi-Wan's cosmic energy. He hadn't expected the Jedi to open a bond with him- if he had, he would have asked for a joint meditation sooner- but when he felt both the Force and Obi-Wan's energy pulsing through his body and his own energy, he never wanted it to end. It felt like Obi-Wan was pouring over his molars and squeezing his heart and plaiting his stomach while the Force consummately unburdened his mind so he could savor the experience. This wasn't torture, this was salvation. Then again, touching Obi-Wan's Living Force always had been.
He was so enraptured in meditation, he wasn't even cognizant of the enthralled moan that fell from his lips. Obi-Wan instinctively halted his meditative recitations, consciously fighting to keep his eyes closed and not gawk. It took little effort to guess the reason for the electrifying sound. It was unlikely the fallen Jedi had meditated in the last few years considering his disuse of the Force. The first extensive contact in years must feel particularly nice. Obi-Wan only managed intermittent contact through failed meditation and other random usage in the past five years, so he could relate. No matter the reason for that moan though, he struggled to bring his blood pressure back down after hearing it. With a bit of discipline, he was able to refocus and level out his breathing again.
He restarted his recitations and time became a matter of indifference. He thoroughly concentrated on opening the portals of his Living Force to interweave them with Anakin's. Not only for his comrade's benefit but for his own as well. Both of them felt so isolated and forsaken, Anakin needed to know he was there and he needed to know Anakin was there. As the meditation meandered on and tendrils of their energies whorled together, his head and extremities grew weightless and his back became spineless. He'd not been sure at first if his old padawan wanted to connect as wholly as they did nine years prior, but clearly the answer was even more than that. Personally, he was overwhelmingly thrilled about it. The only thing that kept him a part of reality was the recitations he had to maintain focus on.
The only reason they stopped meditating was pure exhaustion. Connecting their Living Forces so assiduously was draining. Anakin was the first to bow out. His energy ebbed from their accord and his body lurched forward. His mismatched hands barely caught himself from falling as they outspread over the floor in front of him and his breathing grew slightly labored. The strain on his body didn't stop a giddy smile from stretching over his lips.
Soon enough, Obi-Wan was blinking out of his meditative state. His posture relaxed and his hands moved from his knees to clasp together. The grin he found on Anakin's face put one on his own, "Feel better?"
"Fuck, we should meditate together every night," Anakin blurted out. He felt his cheeks heat up, "I mean…if that's okay with you. We don't-"
Obi-Wan patted his friend's outspread mechno-hand, managing to hold back his laugh when professing, "A meditation a day keeps the dark side away."
Anakin's catlike eyes tapered as he bemusedly watched the Jedi stand, "You have serious mental derangements."
"Oh, that was a joke. You know I don't say that," the blonde laughed and offered his hand out.
The laugh was returned and the hand was taken, "What do I know?" Using the assistance to stand, the mirthful man claimed, "You could have picked up any number of strange habits while we were apart."
Obi-Wan turned, intending to leave the statement hanging. Unfortunately, there was a nagging voice that said You want him to be honest and open with you, but you aren't honest and open with him. Anakin opened up about the Force. Maybe if he opened up about this, they could build on that confidence. He abruptly turned around, "Drinking."
"What?"
"A habit I picked up while we were apart. One was drinking."
Anakin knew by the mention of it at all that drinking meant heavy daily drinking. The two of them used to toss a few back every now and then, so there was no way he was being told I never drank before and now I have one or two occasionally. If Obi-Wan became a lush while they were apart, there was only one conclusion he could come to, "Am I the reason?"
The smile was sincere, "As it turns out, you're the reason for the majority of things that happen in my life."
"Bad things," he muttered as his fingers curled into fists.
"I didn't say that," Obi-Wan spun back towards the door.
He bore holes in the back of his friend's head, "Are you still drinking?"
"Not since you've been back."
::::
You took advantage of him.
Shut up, demon, I only meditated with him.
You siphoned off his energy like you did nine years ago. You took it from him. You robbed him. Raped him.
No, he willingly shared his energy with me. Your lies have no power here.
How much more will you steal from Obi-Wan? His charity, his sanity, his life?
Stop talking, you fedding deceiver.
Do you really think Obi-Wan has forgotten your sins? Do you truly suppose his motives are altruistic? He knows the monster you are.
Yet he's still in this house with me.
Keep your friends close but your enemies closer, as they say.
I am not his enemy. He knows that.
I believe the textbook definition of an enemy to a Jedi Master is one that kills younglings, kills females, helps exterminate the Jedi, and plunges the galaxy into darkness.
He…he-
There's no coming back from that, Anakin. You can't honestly believe he has forgiven you these crimes. You're a vicious animal to him and if he didn't still abide by the Code, he'd put you down like one. Make no mistake: the second you slip up, you'll be staring down the neck of a lightsaber.
Then that will be my fate.
If he attacked you, you know what would happen.
It wouldn't. I won't allow it.
You're not that strong. When, not if but when, you slip up, one of you will fall on the sword.
I will kill myself before I let harm come to him.
The abyss waits for you, Anakin. It wants your beloved, it wants your children, and it wants your soul.
A growl steamed from behind his lips. For the entire rotation, the voice accused him of exploiting Obi-Wan. The last twenty-four hours had been nothing less than mental combat, but for the first time, his children were brought into the fray. He did his best to keep the internal war quiet, but he didn't want to keep quiet anymore. He didn't want to pretend he wasn't being torn apart inside. He didn't want to pretend his soul wasn't burning. The plastene mug in his hand sailed across the air and smashed against the flextile, spilling coffee across the floor.
The resounding clatter attracted Obi-Wan, who flew through the bedroom's open doorway, "What happened?"
Tears rambled down Anakin's face and his hands waved up and down in small strokes, "Why are you here?"
An indicative hand pointed towards the broken mug, "I heard the crash and-"
"No," the overwrought man almost screamed, clasping his shirt and repeatedly tugging it for emphasis, "why are you here? Why are you wasting your time, your energy on this, on me? Why don't you kill me like I deserve?"
Obi-Wan raised upturned palms in an offering of peace as he took slow steps forward, "What's happened, Anakin? Why are you talking like this?"
Seeing his friend trying to reason with him only made Anakin more upset. Now, he did scream, "I'm a murderer! I personally slaughtered dozens of people, younglings and females! I'm responsible for the slaughter of thousands more! What are you doing here with me? Why haven't you fucking killed me?"
The rise in his voice caused the Jedi to stand still, "I know you're still haunted by everything that happened, but it is in the past. We can't change it, we can't take it back, so our only option is to learn from it. The fact you're this upset just thinking about what happened indicates to me you know it was all a horrible mistake."
"Understatement of the millennium," he mumbled and burrowed his head in his hands.
"I told you we all change and I meant it." A battle-worn hand motioned between them, "We have the capacity to grow into better people."
His head shook as that torturous voice chuckled in his ears and his hand vised over his eyes, "I'm not better. I'm not…" He clutched onto the nearby footboard and found malachite eyes through tear-teemed lashes, "If it happens again, promise me you won't stop like you did on Mustafar. Don't let me go after Luke or find Leia, don't let me hurt you, please…"
Obi-Wan felt like someone was gripping his throat. All caution was thrown to the chromosphere when he closed the distance between them. One hand clasped Anakin's shoulder and the other melded against the side of his neck, "I won't make that promise."
The tears spilled over, "I don't want to hurt you."
The Stewjonian swept away those heartbreaking teardrops, "Nor I you." He didn't know what brought all this on, but he recalled the little moan Anakin let out during meditation the rotation before. If he could bring the traumatized man to that point of joy again, it should alleviate all fear, distress, and unease. His thumb swiped over Anakin's wet cheek, "Meditate with me."
You're going to take more of his energy, aren't you? He requested I meditate with him. He wants to share his Living Force with me. We both know you're only doing this because his Living Force is the only part of him that will ever be inside you. Fuck you, get out of my head. Obi-Wan wants to be close to me. He wants to help me. He cares about me. He only cares you don't become a threat like you were five years ago. You don't-
"Anakin?"
The disgraced Jedi blinked in rapid succession, brought out of the back and forth in his mind. Jade orbs became his focus and he did his best to smile and act as though he'd been mulling over the offer for meditation, "You're addicted."
"Perhaps," Obi-Wan granted with a half-smile. "Let's go sit on the couch. We can clean up the coffee later."
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The Faithful and Ferocious