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Love Sick Fred	By : zombierose3 Category: 1 through F > Drop Dead Fred Views: 1293 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Drop Dead Fred and am making no profit/money off of this.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Author's Note: I made a little homage to Rik Mayall's stand up in this, so if you don't get the Vanessa Redgrave joke then go look up his stand up poetry. Mwahahaha.
**Disclaimer: Still don't own Fred.

Chapter Six
Lizzie sighed as she toweled herself dry after a nice, long bath. All she wanted to do was crawl back into bed and sleep for days. Her nap hadn't done much in helping her recover from earlier, but at least she'd managed to have a light meal and shave her legs, leaving her to feel a little more human. She just wished she could shake her anxieties, but defying the laws of physics and popping off into trees made that a hard thing to do. Thankfully, she had a glass of wine that would cover that.
Wiping away some of the moisture from the mirror, Lizzie stared at her foggy reflection. The bags under her eyes made her want to cringe. She hadn't slept well since Fred had gone out of her life, of course, she hadn't slept so well while he'd been in her life either…
God, she missed him. Natalie was one lucky little girl.
Lizzie straightened and wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. "Get it together, Lizzie. You're jealous of a six year old."
She breathed deep, but her chest was pounding. Suddenly all she could think about was Fred and their last moments together, something she'd tried like hell to keep from her mind for days, but right now all she wanted was to crawl back into that moment and savor it. She wanted to wrap her arms around him once more, and hold onto him so tightly that this time it would pull him back to reality with her.
Lizzie shivered. She couldn't explain it, but something inside her felt like he was still with her even now. This strange, warm energy…
A feeling of lightheadedness suddenly overtook her and she held to the counter for balance, fingers curling over the tile as her breathing turned labored.

With Nat Brat fast asleep, Drop Dead Fred was on his hurried way to find a map, presumably in Fartpants' desk drawer where he assumed such things were kept. He figured maps were how people got around when they wanted to find somebody and didn't have any magical powers. He'd seen lots of pirates do it in countless films, so why not him?
However, as Fred made his way for the stairs, a shockwave burst through his being, pinning him in place. Panicked, he struggled in vain to break free, until a familiar energy pulsated around him. Everything faded from view and an intangible force pulled him further into the darkness. In an instant the world reemerged, and Fred's jaw dropped when he saw what was waiting for him…
"Elizabeth?!" he exclaimed, voice pitching so high it cracked. His eyes did a double, a triple, and a forth take just to make sure this was real, and it was. Lizzie was standing right in front of him stark, fucking naked!
"Oh thank god," Lizzie breathed, as she felt the strange energy subside with her still conscious and standing within the privacy of her own bathroom. "Definitely gonna need two glasses of that wine now." She pushed herself back up and sighed, her breasts gently rising as she did.
Fred swore his eyes were about to pop out of his head, and if Lizzie hadn't so graciously taken his powers from him they very well might have! He was afraid to move, mildly afraid to stare, and extremely unable to look away. He didn't even think he could blink if he ever remembered how. He was nothing, but a doomed deer caught in Lizzie's high beams.
"Bloody hell, how long has she been hiding those?" he muttered, all rational thought out the window and hopping the train to the next universe.
Lizzie turned, unknowingly brushing past Fred as she hung her towel on the rack to dry. His eyes traced the contours of her naked body, taking full notice of her smooth-looking skin, her tiny waist, and round little bottom. He didn't know what was coming over him but felt like he'd die if he didn't return the same favor back to her. A noticeable ache started to build in his groin.
The phone suddenly rang from Lizzie's bedroom nightstand, causing both Fred and Lizzie to jump. Fred, however, got a double dosage of surprise, as Lizzie unknowingly moved against him. An unintelligible moan dribbled from his mouth.
"Shit," Lizzie exclaimed. Now she definitely needed that drink. Maybe she was losing her damn mind? Things would be simpler if she just had the good sense to be insane.
Reaching for her robe, Lizzie slipped it on, tied it shut, and hurried to answer the phone. She prayed whoever it was would make it a short conversation.
Fred meanwhile, finally remembered to blink and followed her into the bedroom. With the tightness in his pants gone, his mind kicked back into gear and caught up with the situation.
"Right," he whispered. He had to figure this out.
Magic had brought him here, but it definitely hadn't come from him…
Lizzie picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Lizzie, h-hi… It's Mickey. I hope I'm not calling too late?" His voice held a nervous tone.
Fred childishly mimicked what he heard Mickey saying over the phone and ad-libbed with an eye roll and farting sound.
"No, not really. I was just getting ready for bed, though," Lizzie answered.
"Oh, well I'm sorry to interrupt. I know you said you wanted to rest, but I just… There's something important I've gotta ask you."
Lizzie's stomach flipped. Please don't be asking me out, she thought. "Okay..."
She braced herself, but silence was her only response. This had to be about something else.
"Mickey, is everything alri—?"
"Drop Dead Fred's real!" Mickey shouted.
Lizzie briefly yanked the phone from her ear to avoid the sting. "Uh… I… What?"
"Lizzie, I'm serious. I'm so sorry I never believed you."
Was she actually hearing this? It was almost a relief, until an unsettling feeling crept over her. Fred, what the hell did you do now, she thought. She could almost feel Mickey hyperventilating.
"Thanks, but I get the feeling this phone call isn't about an apology…" she said. "How exactly did you find this out?"
Mickey cleared his throat. "I… Well, he knew some very personal events that took place in my past, things Natalie would never have any way of knowing, things I'd sooner take to my grave than relive."
Lizzie's interest was piqued. "What sort of personal events?" She had to force back the chuckle in her throat. Fred snorted from his seat upon her dresser.
"Like I said, taking it to my grave…" Mickey reiterated, "but that's not exactly why I called. I just… Dammit! Lizzie, what is Fred? Who knows what else he knows, or what he's capable of!"
"I'm capable of seeing Lizzie naked whereas you haven't, tosser," Fred scoffed. He wasn't sure why, but that filled him with an immense sense of pride. Mickey continued with his stupid ramble.
"Memories aren't the makings of an imaginary being, that's some… I don't know what that is!"
"Mickey, calm down! Fred's completely harmless."
Fred smiled and sat back, confidently.
"Well, maybe not harmless," Lizzie added.
Fred shot back up. "Hey!"
"…but he'd never do anything freak…" Lizzie smacked her herself on the forehead. "Let me start over. What are you asking again?" She scrunched her face. This was going horribly.
"Oi, that hurts, Snotface." Fred fell back against the dresser mirror and pouted.
"I'm trying to ask, is Fred dangerous? Do I need to call an exorcist or something?"
Lizzie laughed. "No. Mickey, Fred would never harm anyone. He's unpredictable and very over-excitable, but trust me, he loves children and does anything he can to make them happy. He was my best friend."
Hearing that returned the smile to Fred's face.
"Didn't you always describe him as a grown man? He's not some sort of pedophile, is he?"
"Pet a what?" Fred exclaimed. What the devil was that?
"No, of course not!" Lizzie was disgusted Mickey could even ask such a thing and Fred didn't like the nasty expression Fartpants' remark had created. He didn't know what it meant, but he recognized he should feel insulted.
"Then what is he?"
Lizzie suddenly had no response.
"He must have told you," Mickey added.
Lizzie sat down on the edge of the bed, dumbfounded. "Actually, no. It never even occurred to me to ask him what he was."
"It never occurred to you? Lizzie, you were friends with him forever, didn't you ever stop to wonder?"
These questions were unnerving Lizzie. She actually felt a bit guilty not knowing the answers to them. "I… I don't know, Mickey. He just always told me he was imaginary. I never thought to question it. You don't really delve that deeply when you're six!"
"You weren't six when he came back!"
"I was under a lot of stress! Do you think it really occurred to me to give my imaginary friend the third degree after what I was going through?"
Mickey silenced a moment and Lizzie could feel her heart threatening to break her ribcage.
"I'm sorry," Mickey said at last. "It's just… I really don't know what to make of this and I wanted to make sure Natalie would be okay."
Lizzie relaxed a bit, but was still very upset. "She'll be fine. She's in good hands." Her remaining frustration escaped in a loud sigh as she turned to see what time it was, but something from the dresser mirror caught her eye.
Lizzie's head jerked back for a second look and the phone dropped from her hand. She screamed, sending Fred leaping from the dresser like a shot.
"Oi, what is it, Snotface?!" he shouted.
Lizzie blinked and snatched up the phone. "Mickey, I've gotta go." Her hands fumbled for the receiver, Mickey's voice blaring from the phone until she successfully dropped it back on the hook.
"Oh my God!" she gasped, covering her mouth. Was she really seeing this? Breathing heavily, Lizzie stumbled to her feet and stared like she'd seen a damn ghost.
Fred tensed. She appeared once again to be looking at him…
"Snotface, can you see me?"
Lizzie didn't respond, but instead moved toward the dresser mirror behind him. Fred nervously turned and when he saw what was so damn startling, he just about mirrored Lizzie's expression.
He had a reflection.
Fred's eyes shot back at Lizzie, then again to the mirror.
"You can't see me, can you?" he asked her, stepping closer to wave his hand in front of her face. "Just in the mirror?"
Lizzie reached a shaky hand toward dresser. The reflection was faded and see through, but he was there. Fred was waving and speaking to her; she just couldn't hear a damn word of it.
"Fred?" she whispered, pressing her palm against the mirror, as though she expected to touch him and prove she wasn't crazy.
Fred shook his head. He didn't know how he'd grown a reflection, but he was going to take this chance while he had it.
Not sure of a better way to communicate, Fred smiled and lifted his hand to wave at Lizzie.
Lizzie pulled back her hand, a smile beginning to light her own face. "How are you doing this?" she asked.
Fred shrugged in exaggeration.
"I never thought I'd see you again… I-is it really you?"
Fred raised an eyebrow and glanced down at himself a moment, as if to check. "Of course it's me! Am I that hard to recognize?" He caught Lizzie's confused and crestfallen expression and shook his head. This wasn't going to work. He needed to try something else.
Fred held up his hand and Lizzie watched in amazement as he attempted to mime her a message. It started with him pointing to both himself and her, which was simple enough to follow, but when Fred popped up his hand like some sort of crazy puppet it all just got weird from there.
Like some sort of bad, silent melodrama, Fred tossed a romantic gaze at his hand, puckered up and planted the most disturbing of kisses right smack on its side. He lingered there like they were having some sort of moment before painfully tearing away and leaping beside Lizzie.
He pointed at her again and proceeded to walk in place, before hopping to the side and flicking his pinky into the air. He held it high, sucked in his cheeks, and waggled his hips like he was having an attack. A horrified expression flared on Lizzie's face.
Fred quickly stopped and gagged like he disapproved of whatever that had been. Everything after that was a whirlwind of even greater confusion, which included Fred flailing around in circles and dropping to the ground. It didn't end until Fred was lifting his palms up like a mime trapped in a box.
"Fred," Lizzie squeaked, absolutely beside herself. Her mouth had been hanging open so long it had gone dry. "I'm not sure what just took place here… but unless making out with your hand infected you with some sort of disease, led you to a life change, and finally imprisoned you in some sort of an invisible box, I don't understand a thing you've just tried to tell me!"
Fred smacked his head. "How hard is it to get that I said our kiss has you bouncing off trees, me napping in attics, and that Fartpants is still a damn girl?!"
Lizzie lifted her eyebrows at him and Fred flung his arms upwards in exasperation.
How was he to get this through to her? The woman just couldn't appreciate good theatre. Bet she didn't even know Vanessa Redgrave, either. Fred sighed, calming down a bit. He wasn't going to get anywhere unless he could get Lizzie to understand him.
"Fred, you're the worst mime I've ever seen," Lizzie teased.
Fred playfully stuck his tongue out at her, making her laugh. His tension eased as he realized how much he'd missed that sound. "Oh, Snotface," he sighed. "I wish you could understand me, but it's not like I can just spell it out for you."
Lizzie's brow creased as she watched him speak. She wasn't sure what he'd just said, but it seemed to have given him an idea. He lifted his finger and started using it to spell out letters in the air. Breathless, Lizzie followed his every swipe and spoke each one aloud until she had his message.
Hi, Snotface.
A smile erupted from her lips. "This is so much better. I still can't believe you're here."
I think you called me here, he spelled out, after a few spelling errors Lizzie didn't have the heart to point out.
"How?"
Fred raised his arm, but hesitated. Lizzie could tell he wasn't sure what to say.
Not important, but I want to test something.
Lizzie stepped closer to the mirror. "What?"
Need your help to get home.
Lizzie tensed. "Home to Natalie?" He'd barely gotten here and already wanted to go?
No.
Lizzie relaxed. "Okay. What do you mean? Where is home and why do you need me?"
Fred rolled his eyes and held his head a moment as he formulated the quickest way to spell this out. He started counting letters on his fingers. What was with these girls and questions?
Lizzie thankfully realized she'd asked too much. "Never mind. Fred, why do you need to get home?
To help you.
Lizzie nodded, still unsure why that involved her. "Okay, what do you need me to do?"
Fred looked confused a moment, but waved out, What did you do right before I got here?
Lizzie's brow furrowed. "I don't know. I… I kept thinking about you and how much… you, er, I… wanted to see you." She cleared her throat. "I suppose." That was articulate, she thought.
So that was it. Fred's face flushed. "Then it's a good thing I didn't get a reflection until now…"
Lizzie blanched. "Um… Fred?"
"And it's a good thing you can't hear a word I'm saying either," he mumbled.
Lizzie's eyes narrowed. "Fred, what do you mean 'until now?'"
Fred twitched. "You just heard me, didn't you?" he asked.
Lizzie stepped closer, eyes boring into his reflection. Fred was doing all he could to point his gaze at anything but her and that was when it all clicked for Lizzie.
"Oh hell!" She glanced back at the bathroom. He wouldn't. Would he? "Oh no. Fred, you saw me naked, didn't you?"
"Why would I ever look at that?"
She didn't believe him. "How long were you standing there?"
Fred smirked and spoke out of the side of his mouth, "Long enough…" His eyes widened as he said it.
Lizzie choked. She was mortified. "Fred, you can't just pop into people's bathrooms when they're… Oh God!"
"Well then don't invite me in so readily!" Fred shouted.
Her jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"
"Look, you took my powers, I can't pop anywhere. Somehow your missing me did it, so the shame's on your head!"
Lizzie was beside herself. "I... I took your powers? But…"
Fred nodded. "Ha, there, see?"
Lizzie shook her head. "See what? I'm not the one who got caught staring!"
"Pfft! I didn't get caught!" Fred's smile fell in upon itself. "Oh bugger…" The smirk on Lizzie's face was now twice the size his had been.
"Alright! There! You caught me. I'm a filthy, filthy pervert, but you made it hard to look away. Are you happy?"
A smile ticked at Lizzie's lips. Had she really just heard Fred admit that he'd enjoyed seeing her naked?
"Yes, I am happy," she answered. The twitch on Fred's face was just the reaction she'd wanted to see. Served him right.
"Yes, yes. Good, good." He sulked, already plotting to get her back for outing him.
"Let's just get back to what you need me to do," Lizzie suggested. "How does this work?"
Fred glanced at her uncertainly for a moment, as though this were some sort of trap. "Well, I think I've figured it out… It seems you tap into my powers whenever you're emotionally overwhelmed, but now that I'm here I think can control them once they start up." He smiled.
"Fred, how in the hell do you expect to do that?"
"Well, they are mine, after all."
"And what if it doesn't work?"
"It will," Fred said like he had no doubts in the world.
"Then how will you get back once you're done?"
"Other imaginary friends. I'm not the only one, you know." He playfully rolled his eyes and Lizzie's worry no longer seemed so great, but a few last questions nagged at her.
"Fred, the first time I used your magic I passed out, the second I only felt a little drained… What will this do? What's it doing to me?"
"I actually don't know all that yet, but I think the first time it took so much from you because you used it on yourself and you're definitely not like me."
"You mean, because I'm real?"
Fred frowned. "Yeah."
"Then the second time didn't affect me as much because I used it on you?"
"I think so. This time you should be more than fine because I'll be controlling it." At least he hoped.
Lizzie nodded. "Alright… Now how do we trigger it? Seems a little difficult to just make myself 'emotionally overwhelmed.'"
Fred's eyes narrowed and Lizzie noticed he was studying her face. She nervously leaned back from the reflection, but jumped when her back met with something solid.
Turning her head, she couldn't believe what she saw.
Fred wasn't invisible anymore and it took her a moment to realize he'd moved to stand in front of her. That was when Lizzie forgot to breathe. She wasn't staring at just a reflection anymore.
"You said you missed me, right?" he asked.
"Y-yeah…" What was with that nervous glint in his eyes?
Fred took a deep breath. "Alright, then. I have it!"
He leaned in, pressing his lips to Lizzie's in a deep and tender kiss, which to her surprise she felt in full. The gentleness of it coaxed a moan from her and Fred responded by pulling her tightly into his arms. He could already feel his magic waking up inside of her, and cursed his plan for working so well.
Lizzie's breath hitched, feeling as though all the oxygen had been sucked from the room. In a last desperate attempt she deepened their kiss, savoring everything she could in this final moment, but a sudden snap of energy sent her reeling back against the bed. Lizzie watched as Fred vanished in a flash of green light.
Breathing heavily, she looked over at the empty mirror. "Well, it worked, but when you get back here, Fred this habit of kissing me and leaving is over." She shut her eyes and fell back against her pillows. "Please have ended up in the right place."
- 5
- 6
- 7
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Love Sick Fred