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A Trick of Eros	By : Dreamwind Category: S through Z > Star Trek (2009) > Star Trek (2009) Views: 9376 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own or make profits from the Star Trek francise. The francise and it characters are the property of J.J. Abrams, Paramount Pictures and Gene Roddenberry.I make no profit from this work of fiction.

Chapter List
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Chapter 6

Day 10; 7:15 am, Riverside High School
Jim tried very hard not to growl, or vomit, on any of the meat-headed idiots who were making off color or down right bigoted remarks to her as she walked down the hall to her locker. You’d think that in this close press of swarming bodies she could vanish into the mob, but no, that just wasn’t in the cards for her. It seemed the whole school knew of what happened and that Jim was the only one who hadn’t returned to her original gender yet. This of course led to a riot of rumors being spread about why he was still a she. Some were just crazy or downright obscene, and some left Jim a bit worried they might be hitting a bit close to home. She wasn’t sure yet, but Jim was anything but stupid, she knew there was a chance the improbable had happened between Spock and her. A part of her desperately wanted it to be true. Another part was terrified at the possibility it was true. Then of course there was the chance she hadn’t changed back due to one of her crazy allergies. Maybe it had left him permanently a “her.” If so she should really get used to thinking of in terms of being female, of identifying as female. That would be healthy, right? Honestly Jim really didn't care at this point. She wanted to go back to being a "he" but was willing to settle as a "she" if it came to it. A body was a body after all and didn't define who she/he was. At least that was what Jim kept repeating to herself.
Jim reached her locker and spun the lock open. Face hidden in the shadows of her open locker, Jim closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It wouldn’t due to let the masses see how they had gotten to her. Once she was sure her heart was beating human-slow, she grabbed her PADDs and tossed her bag into the locker and shut the door. Stepping back she turned to face the press of teenage bodies flowing through the halls like spawning salmon. With a deep breath she stepped in and let herself be pushed along until she saw the door to her class. Forcing herself through the mass of bodies, she jerked the door to her Anthropology class open and made her way to her seat.
It didn’t appear that anyone else had arrived to the class yet and Jim found herself quietly grateful. Setting her PADDs on her desk, Jim sat down, resting her jaw against the palm of her hand, and looked out the window at the fruit trees and shrubs the previous graduating classes had planted. She wasn’t sure how long she sat there just spacing out, but at some point some of her classmates had filed into the room, dropping their PADDs on desks and forming little chatting pods. Jim glanced around the room, taking in each group and deeming them annoying but generally harmless. Jim looked away and feeling a tiny bit lonesome, turned on the small PADD that had been in her pocket and looked at the picture of Spock and her standing in front of the fireplace.
‘If only I could have gone with you.’ Jim sighed quietly and went to turn the photo PADD off when it as snatched from her hands.
“Hey!” Jim threw herself from the chair and spun to face the leering jock holding her stolen PADD. “Give it back, Shorrden!”
“Aw,” Shorrden looked at the PADD and back to Jim. “Does little Jimmie want her picture back?”
“Give it back.” Jim glared at the taller boy.
“Make me, fag.” Shorrden glared at Jim, some dark emotion hiding behind the blatant hate and disgust in his eyes. “Or are you too limp wrested to get your boytoy’s picture back?”
Jim didn’t know where the explosion of burning rage came from, but suddenly her mind was swallowed whole by it, by the need to defend her K’diwa’s honor and force this lesser creature to submit.
There was a loud clattering noise and a lot of shouting and screaming, but all Jim could focus on were the dark eyes so different from her Spock’s, mocking her love for him, mocking her and thousands of other peoples lives and loves. There was a burst of pain in her knees and across her ribs, but Jim didn’t care. Her fists were tight against Shorrden’s throat, her body heavy a top his, pinning him beneath her. ‘Submit,’ shirked her mind and Jim was uncertain if she said it out load.
“Jim!”
Hands were grabbing her arms, pulling Shorrden from her clutches as those same hands grabbed her waist, lifting her away from the gasping boy on the floor.
“Jim, calm down!”
The voice was familiar, the tone urgent but soothing. “Jim come on, he’s not worth it. Calm down.” Jim let out a shuddering breath, the red haze clouding his thoughts pulling back. “That’s right. Calm is good.”
Jim blinked and suddenly the room came back to full focus. Looking down, Jim noticed the strong dark arms around her waist securely holding her back against Scott’s chest. On the ground in front of her Shorrden Abernathy was staring up at her with wide eyes. His nose was bleeding profusely and his right eye was already starting to swell and darken. A small part of Jim’s mind smiled gleefully at the look of fear and rage on his face and the damp spot on his pants.
“You’re crazy, bitch! No wonder your family all left you,” Shorrden’s voice was still a bit high with fear, but Jim could hear his bravado begin to creep back in.
It was hard for Jim not to flinch at the words and if Scott hadn’t been holding her, Jim would have grabbed her stuff and fled.
“What’s going on here?”
As one the students in the class turned to face the teacher standing in the doorway. Mr. Donnafrio was not an imposing man physically. He was tall and lean, verging on skinny, his dark brown hair was balding and his nose was just a tad too big. The only intimidating thing about him was his sharp hazel eyes, which watched them like a hawk watching injured rabbits.
Jim swallowed thickly. Mr. Donnafrio may like Jim, but the other students were sure to cast blame all on Jim.
“Shorrden started it, sir.”
Jim twisted to see Erica Kane standing a few feet away looking at their teacher. Her eyes flicked to Jim and then quickly back to the teacher. “Shorrden stole Jim's PADD and began to make some nasty derogatory and bigoted remarks about Jim and his family. Jim was only trying to get his PADD back.”
“Is this true, Shorrden?”
“Of course not!” Shorrden stood up and pointed at Jim, hands shaking. “The little fag tried to kill me for no reason!”
Mr. Donnafrio arched an eyebrow at Shorrden, his eyes almost glowing gold in the light. “I hardly think anyone, let alone Mr. Kirk, would attempt to kill you for no good reason. Also, I will not tolerate such derogatory terms used in my classroom.” He looked over all the students before stepping out of the doorway. “Jim, Shorrden, you’ll both go to the Principals office now and attend detention tonight. Scott, Erica, I want you two to go wth them to give your account of what happened. The rest of you,” his hawks eyes moved through the room catching each student, “will sit down and attend class without and further outbursts.”
As the four teens headed out of the room Jim found her Photo PADD lightly pushed into her hands by a somber Erica. “Thanks.”
Erica nodded and continued to walk with him to the Principal’s office, Shorrden and Scott arguing as they walked just ahead. A small smile played across Erica’s features as she watched Scott browbeat the other boy.
Jim watched her watching Scott and Shorrden a little longer before looking away. The other girl confused him a bit. They had never been friends, in fact Jim was fairly sure Erica hadn’t even known she had existed until the accidental gender change. So to have one of the most popular girls in school stand up for her was pretty amazing. ‘Of course,’ Jim wondered, ‘maybe she had an ulterior motive for doing so.’ Very few people had ever helped Jim without wanting something in return.
Jim looked away from Scott as they entered the office. The receptionist looked up at Shorrden and Jim and gave a gusty sigh. She gave the two a reproachful sigh and waved them to the empty seats by the door. Using the old intercom she advised the Principal of their arrival and then quietly went back to reading her trashy romance novel.
The wait seemed to stretch on for hours, though the clock showed only fifteen minutes passed. Jim was starting to get twitchy, her right leg bouncing up and down, when they were finally called into the office.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

6 pm; Kirk Farm

Jim tried not to sigh as Mr. Freedman’s truck slowed to a stop in front of her house. It had been a long and trying Monday and he really didn’t want to have another adult lecture her on social manners and responsibilities. She really just wanted to get inside and look at her pictures and wash Spock was still here.
“Are you going to be alright here on your own, Jim?”
“I’ll be fine, sir. I can take care of myself.”
Mr. Freedman smile slightly and looked over at Jim. “I know you can. But there is a big difference between being able to and needing too. I know you can do this on your own but you don’t have to.”
Jim looked away, suddenly uncomfortable. The only adults who had ever seemingly cared about her had left and those that should have cared never did. So although the words were a kindness, an offer to give in and let someone else take control, she found it hard to believe them to be true. Rather than tell that to one of the few adults who acknowledged her existence, Jim just nodded and got out of the truck.
“Thanks for the lift, Mr. Freedman.”
There was a small almost sad, knowing smile on his face. “I’ll have Scott pick you up tomorrow.”
“Ok.” Jim turned her back to him and shrugged her backpack on over one shoulder. As she opened the locked front door she finally heard the sound of his truck back out of the drive and leave.
Releasing a deep sigh Jim closed the door behind her. The house felt strangely hollow as if Spock and his family had taken all the life from the house when they left.
Jim looked at the empty hall before her and tried not to sigh. This place felt utterly barren without Spock and his family here. For the first time in Jim's life she had been living with people who seemed to like her and it was hard now to go back to the way things were before where no one seemed to care that she was miserable. That she was lonely and broken and waiting... She was tired of lying to herself. She knew she was waiting, waiting for a Mother who couldn't stand the sight of her to come home just once with a smile and a "I missed you." She was waiting for a big brother who was supposed to love and protect her to come back. To tell her he was sorry for abandoning her to their step-father and a life of abuse, hatred and self doubt. And now... Now she was waiting for Spock.
Somehow it was almost worse waiting for him. She knew he loved her and that he would come back, she just didn't know when or if...or if he would still love her when he did and found not the girl he loved waiting but a boy in her place. Jim wanted to think it wouldn't matter, that Spock would love her regardless of her gender. But so few things had ever ended happily for Jim that it was a hard thing to believe. Happiness just didn't seem to be something meant for James T Kirk like it was for everyone else. Silently Jim prayed that she would stay a girl if it meant keeping Spock. She would gladly give up being her Father's son for Spock and the love he offered.
Jim paused in the doorway to the library, silently forcing back tears at the empty room. It seemed to resonate all the loneliness Jim felt but couldn't express. For a short time, like Jim, the room had been alight with warmth, love and companionship the likes of which had not been seen in the house and lives of the Kirk family since the death of George Kirk. Now it echoed with the cold touch of an agonizing awareness of all that had been and was lost.
Jim forced herself to look away from the room and the memories that it woke. Finally allowing the sigh that had been building to pass her lips, Jim turned away from the room and headed upstairs. She still had homework to do, no matter her emotions or how mind numbingly boring said work was. She couldn't let herself sink into depression. She was stronger than that. She wouldn't let her K'diwa's absence drag her into a pit of depression. She would prove him right, she would buck up and graduate with honors, she would go onto college and prove both to him and herself she was a worthy mate.
Setting her backpack on the desk next to her bed, Jim quietly stretched before pulling out the chair and sitting down. She had work to do and she best get it done before she had to take care of the animals and her dinner.

*~*~*~*~*

Day 21; 2:15 pm, Riverside High School

Jim really wanted to rest her head against the cold rim of the toilet but the knowledge that it was a public restroom, in a high school no less, held her back. The violent churning in her stomach had started last night and didn't appear to be going away. She wanted to believe it was just food poisoning but the fact she was still a girl while everyone else had already reverted back to normal, and the memory of all the unprotected sex she had, made her think it more likely she was pregnant. True Spock wasn't fully human and that should mean that as a hybrid he was sterile or at least not genetically capable of producing offspring with a full-blooded human. His green blood would make one think it more likely he could breed naturally, with only another Vulcan. Of course that green blood could also be the reason that this pregnancy, if she was pregnant, was hitting her so hard. She didn't think morning sickness was supposed to hit so early on.
"Ghuy'cha," Jim groaned out what may have been a curse in Klingon and pushed herself up from the floor. She couldn't stay hiding in the bathroom much longer. They were supposed to be preparing to practice the walk to their seats fir graduation.
Jim pushed herself up into a standing position, swaying slightly which made the heaving in her stomach all the worse. Taking a deep breath she stepped out of the cubicle and went to the sink to rinse out her mouth. Feeling a bit less rank with her mouth thoroughly rinsed out, Jim left the bathroom to rejoin her classmates out in the gym.
Scott was leaning against the wall by the entrance to the girls restroom when Jim came out.
"What are you doing?" Jim looked at Scott, eyebrow cocked up towards her hairline. "You don't need to protect my virtue, Scott."
"Maybe I don't, but all the same, someone should protect you from the rabid harpies of Riverside High. Wouldn't want them messin' with your pretty face." Scott grinned widely at Jim, his white teeth shinning in his dark skin.
"You're being ridiculous, but whatever." Jim shook her head trying to hide her smile.
"You ready for this?"
"For what? Not having to deal with an endless supply of mindless homework and repetitive lessons. Or for stepping into the 'real world'?"
"Man, Jim. When did you get this cynical?"
Jim gave Scott a long look before turning to look back to the crowd of milling students. "Have you been paying any attention, Scott?"
"Oh come on, Jim. You've got to start seeing some of the good things about life."
"Yeah, well, not a lot of good things happen in mine. I'm not as lucky as you."
"Only because you look at everything negatively. Good things do happen to you. I mean just look at the Vulcan family that stayed with you. That was a good thing, right? You and their kid became friends, or more than friends according to rumor."
Jim looked away as blood flooded her face, turning her bright red.
Scott chuckled. "Maybe not so much a rumor after all."
"God, how did that rumor even start?"
"Oh come on, everyone knows Mr. Blockman is a terrible gossip."
"Great. Just fucking lovely."
"Don't worry so much. It's not like the rest of us didn't experiment with the new parts. He'll I heard Janey and Andrea decided to try out their news bits on each other!"
"Ugh...I so did not want to picture the two of them fucking each other while they were guys!"
Scott chuckled. "It could be worse. I could have told you the rumor about what, or should I say who, Todd Okartis did while a girl."
"Okay, double ick. I am sure there is something in the Geneva Convention baring that kind of stuff as cruel and unusual punishment."
Scott laughed loud enough that some of the kids standing in a little cluster a few feet away turned to look at them.
"Ok, students listen up!"

All the students slowly turned to face Mr. Donnafrio who was standing on the stage at the front of the gym. The teacher looked over the crowd, waiting for them to quiet down before speaking again. "We don't have a lot of time to run through this, so let's try to get this right the first time."
Some students muttered groans while others quietly agreed they wanted this over with as quickly as possible. Jim found herself agreeing with the latter.
Even with Mr,. Donnafrio taking command of them with an iron fist, it still managed to take nearly three hours to run through the walking procedures for the graduation ceremony. By the end of it Jim's feet and back were killing her and all she wanted to do was crawl in bed and sleep for a good twelve hours.
"Man, I never thought that would end! Who knew people couldn't fucking figure out how to walk in line with each other. This makes me doubt the intelligence of all us humans as a species."
"I think I'm going to agree with you this time, Jim. This was pretty sad." Scott rubbed the back of his neck and herded Jim out the gym doors into the parking lot. "Do you want to stop at the Ice House or at Murphy's for something to eat before I drop you off at your farm?"
"Murphy's would be good."

*~*~*~*~*

9:32 pm; Kirk Family Farm

Jim lay back on her bed, rolled over and pressed her face into Spock's pillow. She wanted to think she could still smell him on it, but it had been so long since Spock had rested against it that his scent was just a memory now. It just reminded her again that she was alone and missing him.
Sitting back up Jim looked over to her desk where a small framed photo of Sarek, Amanda, Spock and herself rested next to a similarly framed photo of Spock, one of the ones they had taken privately. It wasn't the most erotic one, just one that really personified Spock for her. She spent a long time looking at the two pictures, taking in Amanda's smiling face, Sarek' piercing gaze, and the look of soulful longing in Spock deep gaze. For a long while Jim just looked at the image. Flashes of memory, the sound of Spock's voice, the gentle caress of his hand, Amanda's warm laughter, the sight of Sarek over the chessboard. All passed in front of her minds eye.
Jim rubbed a fist over her eyes, sniffing slightly before standing and moving to the desk. She stood there looking at the pictures before reaching out and gently lifting it from the desk. 'Spock, oh how I miss you.'
Jim set the picture down and ran her hands through her hair. She could spend way too much time just staring into space thinking of Spock, longing to have him back. For those three days it had finally felt like she had had a family. A real family. Now that they were gone it was like having that gaping wound in her heart torn open even wider. While they were here, she had been cared for, loved even, and now they were gone. All the old doubts began to surface again and she began to doubt her memory of them. Had they...had Spock really loved her as much as she had thought.? Or had he been drowning in teenage hormones like Jim was? Could it have been a whirlwind romance only in her mind?
'Don't be a fatalist,' Jim sternly told herself. 'You know he loved you. You felt it every time he joined our minds. He does love me...He does.'
Eyes growing heavy, Jim slipped into a deep but fit full sleep.

*~*~*~*~*

Day 25; 3:05 am, Kirk Family Farm

It was pain that woke her. Not the pain of loss and loneliness that echoed through her soul, but a sharp, grinding physical pain. It woke her with a sudden gasp. As the fog of sleep left her mind, Jim found herself rolling onto her side, drawing her knees up to her chest. The pain throbbed through her pelvis and deep into her lower abdomen. Tears leaked from her eyes as she clutched at the bedding and tried not to cry out. The pain seemed to stretch on forever with no relief in sight. And then, as suddenly as it came the pain dropped to a low throb deep in her pelvic muscles which slowly faded away. Out of the grasp of the pain her body seemed to hum with the sudden absence of what had felt nearly crippling. It was suddenly bearable to breathe again. Relaxing her grasp on the bedding, Jim stretched out, her legs shivering.
Even when she had first gone from male to female the pain had not been that great. Then the pain had been a flowing wave of discomfort, similar to when Jim had spent too much time doing manual labor. It had been a dull ache in the muscles, not the sharp, wrenching pain that had localized itself to her groin.
Forcing herself up and off the bed, Jim headed into the bathroom. She didn't know what had caused the pain but she didn't want to risk any blood getting on the hardwood floor of the bedroom if it was just PMS. She was hoping that it wasn't some kind of spontaneous abortion. She didn't know for certain she was pregnant, but a small portion of her hoped she was. The idea that a part of Spock was growing inside her was both terrifying and comforting.
Jim groaned as her muscles protested the short walk to the bathroom. Her legs were still shaking and she found herself listing to the side badly enough that she had to reach out to grip the desk and the walls as she made her way to the bathroom door just to keep from collapsing to the floor. She paused, leaning her whole body against the door frame as a small ripple of pain shot through her abdomen again. Although it only lasted a couple seconds, it left Jim gasping.
For another long moment Jim found herself unwilling to take those last steps into the bathroom. She was James T. Kirk though and she had suffered through worse pain and still managed to get done what needed to be done.
Taking a deep breath she moved out of the doorway and steeped into the bathroom, flicking on the light. She had to blink spots out of her eyes at the sudden light but she was standing and the pain had vanished again. Her reflection stared back from the mirror, it's blue eyes dark with the shadows of restless sleep.
Resting part of her weight against the sink she push the pajama pants down her hips. The thin cotton pooling around her feet. With a flick of one foot she sent them sliding across the tile to the wall. A single glance had proven there was no blood staining them.
Swallowing back an irrational surge of fear, Jim pushed up her top and looked down the length of her body. The curve of her hips were still very much a woman's but the length of flesh resting in a nest of curls between her legs was very much male. Stunned and a little confused Jim let her trembling fingers stroke through the corse hair and down the silken length of her cock. Jim swallowed thickly. It felt like how she remembered from before the change, but that spot deeper between her legs still had that almost heavy, damp feel to it that Jim had begun to associate with her vagina.
Carefully she slide her fingers off her cock, over the slightly swollen flesh where her testicles should have been hanging to where the wet lips of her cunt was. 'Still have that, huh? Ok. I can work with this. Maybe it's just coming in a little at a time.'
Jim found it strange that she still had breasts and a cunt alongside a mans penis. Yet she had no testicles! What was up with that?
Pushing hands through her hair to the back of her skull and then back down over her face, Jim decided it was just too early in the morning to care about any of this. Opening the medicine drawer in the sink cupboard, Jim took out and swallowed a couple of aspirin before retrieving her pants and heading back to bed. She could deal with her fucked up gender problem later.

*~*~*~*~*

9:25 am, Kirk Family Farm

Jim cursed as she looked at the glowing green numbers on her alarm clock. She should have gotten up hours ago! Betsy was going to be through one hell of a hissy fit about having to wait so long to be milked.
Cursing loudly, Jim threw on some cloths and rushed outside.
The back door of the house slammed behind her as she rushed into the yard. A moment later Jim heard some loud barking and there coming from the barn were two sleek forms, one a golden honey tone the other a mix of charcoal and cream. Jim recognized the dogs immediately. They were two of Mr.Freedman's prize winning Salukis. Kalilia and Amin were well known in Riverside. They were one of the few things that brought people to the small town. They had won enough awards that their puppies were quite the prize from what Jim had heard. They were beautiful dogs, a bit more fancy than what most people pictured when thinking of a hunting dog, but they were great sight hounds.
The two dogs bounded over, tags wagging like crazy, as they wagged their tails and jumped at Jim. The golden Kalilia gave a sharp bark and jumped up, planting her paws on her shoulder and went to cover her face in dog kisses. Jim pushed, ineffectively at the hyper hound, and laughingly arched his face out of the range of the dogs tongue.
"Come on, girl, I already had a bath!"
Like normal the dog ignored her. Stepping back Jim tripped over Amin and fell to the ground. The two dogs took the opportunity and pounced. Jim's wild, hearty laughter filled the yard as he tried to dodge to overly exuberant dogs and their excessive wet kisses.
A sharp whistle had both dogs bounding away from Jim, toward the figure that had emerged from the barn.
"Hey there, Jim." Scott smiled and scratched at the dogs heads. "Looks like you made some new friends."
"Yeah," Jim grasped Scott's arm as the other boy pulled Jim up from the ground. "Any particular reason you stopped by?"
"Can't I just be neighborly?"
Jim rolled her eyes and gave Scott a pointed look.
"Alright, alright. I was just a little worried about you being here all alone. Especially since you've been sick."
"I'm fine. I'm starting to change back so that's probably why I've been sick."
Scott gave Jim a doubtful look. "None of the rest of us tossed our cookies like that."
"None of the rest of you got stuck this way for so long either."
"True, but it is still worrying. You really should see a doctor just to be safe."
Jim rolled her eyes but nodded. "I already made an appointment to see Doc O'Neill this afternoon."
"Good. I'll give you a lift."
"You don't need to."
"Do you have another way to get there?"
Jim huffed loudly and turned to head to the barn.
"I already took care of the animals. The cows milked and the eggs are in a basket on the porch."
Jim arched an eyebrow and looked back at the porch. Sure enough, tight next to the door was a basket filled with eggs. She must have missed it in her rush to get to Betsy. Giving Scott a nod she moved back to the house waving him to follow. Kalilia and Amin barked happily and ran circles around the two as they headed back.
"Can they come in or should I have them stay outside?"
Jim looked down at Amin who had shoved his dark head into Jim's hip. Scratching the furry ears Jim replied, "They can come in."

tbc…

An: The Ice House and Murphy's Bar and Grill are both actual restaurants in Riverside, Iowa according to Google. As I have never actually been to Riverside, Iowa I cannot verify this as completely factual.

Translation: Kalilia means "beloved" and Amin means "Faithful, trustworthy"
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A Trick of Eros