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River Princess	By : BloodValkyrie Category: 1 through F > Beetlejuice Views: 4287 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Beetlejuice and I don't own Bram Stoker's Dracula. I am making no profit.

Chapter List
- 40
- 41
- 42
Chapter 41
What the fuck?
“No … seriously, what the fuck?”
That was what Lydia said as she yanked a blanket to her body and stared at the demon.
“What the fuck!”
Vlad put a pillow to his crotch. His face took on a blankness as he stared at Beetlejuice, a strange and emotionless image.
The dirty man who stood in the corner said very softly. “That's what I'm thinking, what the fuck.”
Lydia's face was hot. She felt like she had a brother and that brother had been severely invading her privacy. “What the fuck are you doing here?!”
“I ...” He held up his blood stained hands. “I have no idea. I was home … now I'm here.”
Lydia put her fingers to her brow. “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.” She shook her head and purposely said his name in a tone that reminded one of a tired mother, a mother who was very disappointed. She was hoping Vlad wouldn't assume she wasn't making him go away with the special use of his name.
The demon shrugged, and in a puff of smoke, he disappeared, but not before saying, “Nice tits.”
Vlad spoke then, very calmly. “That was the demon Brunhilde told me about. Am I correct?”
“Uuuuuuuuuuuugghnnnnnn ...” Tightly, Lydia shut her eyes, and she rubbed her temples. There was absolutely no reason for Beetlejuice to be there. Nobody called him.
Vlad stood up and walked over to a window. “De ce se put mai rău decât un câmp de luptă folosit?” Why does he stink worse than a used battlefield? He opened the window, obviously wanting the smell to go away.
In reality, it wasn't that bad, or it didn't seem bad to Lydia; she was used to it. Then again, Vlad's nose was sensitive.
“El nu are baie,” she explained. He doesn't bathe.
“Asta e urât!” Vlad yelled out, startling Lydia. That's nasty!
***
She decided to make a snowman. She was in class when she decided to do it.
Lydia drove home quickly. She didn't want to miss any daylight. Her stepmother greeted her. Lydia scarfed down a quick lunch, dressed appropriately, and hurried outside.
It took some time, but she made a snowman, a little snowman. She gave it an old fedora hat of hers, and made his eyes out of little rocks. She made a curving line of rocks to represent its mouth.
And then, all the rocks fell out at once. Lydia looked down, and she didn't see humble and ordinary rocks anymore. She saw different rocks. They were pieces of uncut emerald.
“Uhm … what?” She crouched down to scoop them all up into her hands. They were silly gray and brown rocks, weren't they? She found them on the ground. There was no reason for emeralds, cut or uncut, to be anywhere near the ground. Did Delia own a piece of jewelry made of uncut emeralds? Lydia had heard of women wearing uncut diamonds, why not emeralds? Did the stones fall off or something?
“Delia!” She ran into the house to explain that something impossible happened.
But, Delia had something equally impossible to say, and to display. The newest clay statue she had been making had somehow turned to pure ice when she wasn't looking. Lydia saw it, touched it, and she knew that her step-mother used clay and didn't even know how to use ice in this context.
Just … just what the fuck?
Later that day, Lydia read in an article about a couple in South Korea that had been scared shitless. Why? Well, their little baby literally floated six inches up in the air, before their eyes, for ten seconds, and then fell back into its crib. The baby was not injured, but fuck that was scary.
Lydia knew supernatural things happen in this universe. She knew all too well.
So, that night, she paid the Neitherworld a visit.
She was at the entrance to the sad looking royal castle, demanding to see Prince Vince. Since she was known for being a friend of his, she was allowed inside with no struggle. Lydia saw a guard's weapon turn into a very long loaf of baguette bread in the blink of an eye.
Shit was going down.
Lydia ran to the throne room, and there the prince was in his seat, looking pretty damn confused too. He didn't let her speak before him. “Where is Beetlejuice?”
“What? I haven't seen him today.” She stood before him, her legs spread a bit, her fingers twitching. “Has he been pulling crazy shit? Weird ass, impossible … shit has been going down on Earth!” She shook her head a second; she was still confused as hell. “I see some shit's going on here too!” Right after she said that, Prince Vince's cute little crown danced on top of his head, as if a puppeteer was pulling it with a string. Then it stopped.
Lydia threw her hands into the air. “Oh my GAWD! Is he bitching?” Her voice grew shrill. “I haven't played around with him in a while. Is that why he's bitching? FUCK!” She stomped her foot onto the pretty red rug that adorned the floor so well. “He's juicing both worlds, and it's fucked up! Someone's gonna get killed! A baby was levitated, for Christ's sake!”
“Lydia!” Prince Vince left his throne and went to her. He put her hands in his and looked down at her with very concerned dark eyes. “Listen to me, I beg of you. Beetlejuice is missing.”
She blinked at him. Then hesitated. “Missing?”
“The Queen of the Vampires must have noticed this too.” Prince Vince put his long fingers on Lydia's shoulders. “Listen to me. Pay very close attention, Lydia. I had no inkling at all that your world was suffering from this … this juice as well. This means that something dangerous is happening. This seems harmless for now, but this could grow into extreme chaos, godly chaos.”
“Godly?” She narrowed her eyes. “What?”
“I said listen!” He shook her a little bit. “This could be Beetlejuice, or this could be something more horrifying. You need to get to Brunhilde. Tell her this is happening in the Neitherworld too. Tell her Beetlejuice is missing, and follow her until she confirms that this problem is fixed. She won't stop you. Trust me. Do you understand?”
“I … I have to follow her?”
“YES!” He shook her again. “Go, go now!”
He shoved her back a little. Lydia tripped as she turned around to run. When she got back up, her hands were shaking.
***
She texted Vlad before she drove to his house. “Emergency. Need Brunhilde.”
He responded with, “Meet us in the warehouse.” He texted the address to her, just in case she forgot. It was the place where those special hearings had been held. Vlad and Brunhilde met her at the entrance.
Brunhilde took charge immediately, which was expected. She had a backpack on, and Lydia really didn't know why.
“Now, Lydia, Vlad,” Brunhilde said to them, pointing at them with her finger. “This is fucking important. Lydia!” She pointed back at her. “I assume this is all because of the random shit that's been going on.”
“Yes!” Lydia even nodded.
“And this has been happening in the Neitherworld too?”
“Yes!” Lydia was actually feeling hopeful. She might not like Brunhilde, but at least the crazy bitch seemed to care about what the fuck was going on.
Vlad tilted his head. “Neitherworld?”
With a slight annoyance quickening her words, Brunhilde told him, “It's where that demon is from. I'm not gonna explain everything, not allowed to.” She turned back to Lydia. “We're going to the Between World, understand?”
“Why?” Lydia didn't quite understand.
“It's the only place Beetlejuice could be. He's not on Earth. He's not in the Neitherworld.”
“Heaven? Hell?” Vlad was trying to be helpful, and normally he could be an excellent help.
Brunhilde exhaled very slowly, as if losing her patience. “I'm not even gonna tell you if those places exist or not.”
She was the only person Lydia knew that could make Vlad look like an idiot, even when Vlad wasn't acting like an idiot.
“Now Lydia, you've been there many times, especially as a cute little girl, eh?” It was fairly dark, and there was only a street light giving off any illumination. So, Lydia wasn't sure if she was smiling or not. “You know what it's like in that little space. It might have changed. Beetlejuice is stuck in there. We have to get him out.”
“What can I do?”
“What can she do?” Vlad leaned in a bit closer.
Brunhilde adjusted the weight of the backpack she bore. “There is a possibility that Beetlejuice is having some problem. Perhaps he's in some sort of shock. Otherwise, he could simply leave the Between World and go to the Neitherworld. You're his little special person, Lydia, even though you haven't enjoyed his company in quite a while. I've personally called him, 5 times. He didn't come.”
Lydia knew that blood was leaving her face at the idea. “He always comes. You just have to call him.”
“He didn't come, Lydia.”
“How does one call this Beetlejuice?” asked Vlad very innocently.
“We're not telling you!” Lydia and Brunhilde shouted that simultaneously. Then, Lydia looked at Brunhilde, shocked. Brunhilde just opened the door to the warehouse.
“You might have to talk to Beetlejuice, Lydia,” she said as she held the door open. They all walked inside. Brunhilde flipped a few switches. A few bare light bulbs hanging from the ceiling lit up; the light was very yellow, as expected. Vlad pulled three folding chairs from a corner and set them up. Apparently he assumed this would take a long time.
“Vlad,” Lydia said, “It doesn't take long to open a door to another world.”
He shot her a clear, “I am not amused,” look, his eyes narrowing and his lips thinning. Then he sat down. He probably didn't like that Brunhilde was being so condescending with him in front of Lydia, or maybe he didn't like that Lydia knew a bit more about the universe than he did.
Brunhilde put her backpack on the floor. It made a THUD sound. She unzipped it and pulled out a long beach towel. She then pulled out objects and laid them on the towel.
“Uhm … Brunhilde?” Lydia stood behind her. “What are you doing?” She saw that Brunhilde had pulled out a long and smooth knife and a rib spreader. “Woah!” Lydia backed up. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“I won't do shit with Beetlejuice until I've got some insurance,” Brunhilde said.
***
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- 42
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River Princess