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Shadow of Blue	By : Auska Category: 1 through F > Four Brothers Views: 1292 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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~Shadow of Blue~

By: Aerys Krystie.
oOo
Age 17
Jack lied on his bed, staring up at the ceiling with an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips. Jeremiah had just left from his weekly visit, which started up a week after Bobby vanished from Detroit. Evelyn knew why her oldest had disappeared, but she refused to say anything. Jack wished he knew what happened, but shit had hit the fan the day he received that letter about his father coming up from parole. That was the last he heard of it, as Evelyn went to the hearing on his behalf.
A month later, Bobby went out, saying he was going to see some drinking buddies and never came back. Jack was grateful that at least he didn’t say he was going out for a pack of smokes. He was certain he had more than enough daddy issues. The previous year had been hell for him. He was in the giant house, alone with Evelyn and she tried her best. He knew she was trying to be everything Bobby was to him, but Jack lived in the delusion that she didn’t know how he truly felt about Bobby.
The only good to come from his sixteenth year was Jeremiah getting him an acoustic guitar for his birthday. He had played until his fingers bled on that thing, which was now sitting in his favorite corner of the room. The worst thing to come from his sixteenth year was seeing the disappointment in Evelyn’s eyes whenever Jack came back home in the middle of the night stinking of smoke, booze and sex. She never said anything, which just upset Jack even more. He needed her to get angry with him, just like Bobby would.
Jack closed his eyes as he rolled over and then stared at the wall beside his bed. He figured that was why he acted the way he was. He wanted it to get so bad that Evelyn was forced to bring Bobby back to smack some sense into him. Thankfully, he was smart enough to stay away from the heavy drugs. Actually, it seemed that alcohol was his drug of choice. On occasion, he would take a couple hits off a joint, but he never really saw the appeal in drugs.
He remembered when he came home with his new tattoo, which would be hidden under his jacket sleeve. ‘Spares’ scrawled along his arm, wrapped up and under clothing and still Evelyn had somehow known what he had done. She had a cream waiting for him on his bed and told him to take care of it, as she didn’t want him to get an infection. Over the next few months, he got three other tattoos and again, she told him take care of them. He didn’t know what else to do to get a rise from her, as horrible as that sounded.
Jeremiah visited every Sunday and would spend a few hours with Jack, taking him out to lunch and asking him about his week. Jack enjoyed those times. It reminded him of a couple years back and he was pleased to see that Jeremiah was doing well with his life. He had proposed to Camille and she’d said yes. They were planning their wedding and Jack was curious if Camille was ever going to meet Bobby, though he got the feeling that Jeremiah was trying to protect Camille.
School was still boring as fuck and without any reason to apply himself, Jack became the Mercer that the teachers were expecting him to be. He skipped class, broke the rules of the school and had broken in half a dozen times, once specifically to set the study hall on fire. As it went up in flames, he felt a small spark of pride and had run, laughing like a madman with his accomplices staring at him, clearly wondering if it was a smart move on their part to get involved with a Mercer.
Evelyn had read about the school study hall burning and had simply asked Jack if he’d done it. When she didn’t get a reply, she told him that Angel and Bobby would be proud of him. Jack had stared at her as she left his bedroom and wondered if he had to kill someone to get the reaction he wanted out of her. He had given it serious consideration, but decided that he couldn’t be bothered. The only person he truly wanted dead was rotting away in prison, as far as he knew.
Jack sighed and sat up, opening the bedroom window and crawling onto his desk. He stuck his head and shoulders out the window, which he could easily do by leaning over his desk. He’d grown so much that he constantly had to get new jeans. However, it seemed that his height was holding steady at six foot, which he was grateful for. He lit the cigarette and sighed out the smoke.
That was another thing Evelyn had asked him about. Jack had shrugged and she told him that there was no smoking in the house, since she knew he wouldn’t quit, regardless of what she said, did or showed him. As long as he didn’t have to break the law or do anything questionable for money to pay for them, she was fine with him smoking. Jack had agreed that he wouldn’t smoke in the house and technically, he wasn’t. He was aware that Evelyn knew how much her sons loved their technicalities.
Jack finished his smoke and slipped back inside, going back to his bed. Summer vacation wasn’t that interesting when he wasn’t invited out. Then again, the last party he went to, he came back home with bloody knuckles and with the cops at the front door. Thankfully, no charges were pressed as no one knew for certain who threw the first punch. Since it was clear that Jack was only drunk, the cop that picked him up decided he could sleep it off at home.
Not even bringing the cops to the front door was enough to get anything more than a disappointed smile from his Mom. Of course, he stupidly forgot that she was used to the cops showing up at all hours of the day with one or more of her sons in cuffs. He was just another Mercer boy, following in the footsteps laid out by the previous three. Except, now that all three had stepped off the path, Jack had no footsteps left to follow and he was terrified to make his own.
As he looked at the guitar in his corner, he smiled forlornly. Maybe it wasn’t that scary, he decided.
oOo
The party was noisy as hell. Jack couldn’t hear anything anyone said over the music and everyone else screaming to be heard. He moved through the house, smiling and nodding at the people he knew when they caught his eye. He looked around for someone to make his night worth sneaking out.
He knocked shoulders with friends and smirked as they moved into an empty room to enjoy themselves. He found his way into the kitchen and grabbed an unopened bottle of beer. His friends quickly learned that he wouldn’t accept a drink unless he poured it or it was unopened. Of course, by the time he rocked up, most of the beer bottles were sitting around, empty or forgotten.
Other teens were milling around, making out or taking hits from a bong. Jack wasn’t feeling the need to get stoned, so he just smiled and shook his head as they offered to him. He rolled his shoulders and looked around, seeing a pair of teens watching him closely. They ducked their heads and whispered to each other as whispered and then moved out of the kitchen. Jack cocked an eyebrow. That was pretty normal, especially if they knew what his last name is.
Heading out to the back patio, Jack shook his head as a kid dived into the pool. It was like fifty degrees out that night and the pool wasn’t heated. The kid came up, gasping and shivering and trying to tell his friends that the water was worth it. Jack lit up and walked away from the pool. He smoked and drank by himself for a few minutes, watching as others walked in and out of the house. No one there was taking his fancy and he was regretting leaving the house.
“You’re a Mercer, right?”
Jack yawned and looked up at a blond that was staring down at him. “Yeah,” he said and closed his mouth. “Got a problem with that?”
The blond shook her head and sat down beside Jack, smiling. “Nope! I was just wonderin’ what that was like,” she said and her smile stretched.
“Who the fuck are you?”
The girl blinked, taken aback by the harshness of Jack’s voice. “Oh, I’m Danni Pescatelli. I moved here about three months ago. I was warned by everyone to stay away from the Mercers, but you don’t seem that scary. Maybe a little moody, but definitely not scary.”
Jack stared at her blankly. He didn’t remember seeing her in school, but he was rarely there and he rarely paid attention to anyone aside from the location of the truant officer and other authority figures. He still had no idea why anyone would warn her against him, since he hadn’t done much. They couldn’t pin the study hall fire on him, though he’d been questioned extensively for it.
“Pescatelli,” Jack repeated and finished his beer. “You just got here from New York, right?” Danni nodded and Jack stood up. “Look, whatever ya family’s into, I don’t give a shit. You bring trouble to my front door and then you’ll see why you were warned away from the Mercers.
Danni raised an eyebrow and also stood. “I don’t appreciate being threatened, Mercer.”
“That wasn’t a threat, Pescatelli. It was a friendly reminder.”
Danni smirked and flicked her hair over her shoulder with a toss of her head. “Is that so? We’ve done our homework on the Mercer family fuck-ups,” she said and stretched her arms above her head. “You and your brother Jeremiah aren’t a threat. Angel’s in the marine corps and the one we’d even bother to look at is on the run.”
Jack tensed as she placed a hand on his shoulder and then pressed her lips to his, which made him growl and pull away. He didn’t want to admit that her knowing that much about his family rattled him. He wanted to know why Bobby was on the run, though.
“So, we can do whatever the fuck we want to you and your front door. Big brother ain’t around to protect you.” She smirked and suddenly became very unattractive. “You still havin’ nightmares?”
It took every ounce of willpower to stop himself from punching her teeth down her throat. Jack wasn’t about to start a family war, especially considering the Pescatelli family was likely massive. She wasn’t lying when she said that big brother wasn’t around to protect him. He probably wouldn’t be there if Bobby was still at home. Still, it scared him a little how much she knew about his family.
“If you know anyhin’ about my family,” he finally said with clenched teeth. “Then you know that if anythin’ happens to any of us, you’ll have to deal with the anger of Bobby.”
“Oh, please,” Danni said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Bobby won’t do anything stupid, especially if we know where he lives and how vulnerable his mother is.”
All emotion left Jack as he gazed her. The smirk slowly died from her face the longer he stared at her. “Ya shouldn’t’ve said that,” he said calmly and shoved her down. “You threaten Evelyn Mercer again and you’ll see just how much influence Bobby’s had on me.”
Jack looked up as he heard his name being called. A friend approached him and handed him a beer, which he opened in front of Jack. “Don’t do anything stupid, man,” his friend said as he dragged Jack toward the house. “Her family is messed up.”
Jack glanced at the teen, wondering how messed up her family was. He was used to living through messed up families. While the Mercer family had its faults, it sure as hell wouldn’t randomly threaten people unless they were threatened first. Once again, Jack found himself wishing that Bobby was around. He knew that the shit Danni just said wouldn’t have flown if the biggest threat was in the city.
Shaking his head, Jack drank the beer and dropped the bottle outside the backdoor, before he lit up again. He walked through the house, frowning as his eyes started to close. He shook his head as the world started to spin. He knew that wasn’t right; not after two beers. He made his way upstairs, wanting to find a room and pass out. His common sense was telling him to leave and go home, where it was safe. That was the word that kept repeating in his mind.
Safe. Get somewhere safe. Jack dropped his cigarette as he walked up the stairs. His feet felt like they were stuck in mud and he was wading through water. He gripped the banister tightly, trying to find somewhere safe that he could wait it out. He felt a hand on the small of his back and spun around, punching the person that would dare to touch him. He saw someone tumble down the stairs, before another figure showed up in front of him.
Jack had no idea how he managed it, but he managed to block the punches that were aimed for his face. He barely felt the knife that sliced through his jacket sleeves and into his flesh. He fought back as much as he could, before the spinning became too much. He swayed as he looked out over the party. No one seemed to notice the fight on the stairs and all Jack wanted to do was scream for help.
The music was too loud. The voices were too loud. He knew he was thinking of screaming for Bobby, but he wasn’t sure if he actually did. He tried to see the face of the pair that was taking him upstairs, but everything was too blurry. He knew that his legs had stopped working, but that wasn’t a problem for them. The last thing he felt before he forgot everything was falling onto a bed.
oOo
Jack woke with a sharp intake and looked around. He was in a hospital room…again. How did he get there? Why was he there? He looked at his hands and arms and saw that they were covered in defensive marks, which seemed to have been from a knife and fists if the cuts and bruises were anything to go by. The last thing he remembered was a party, in some abandoned house. He was almost blind drunk and then everything went black. Had he gone too far?
He looked out the window of the room and saw Evelyn talking with a doctor in the hallway. Evelyn was crying and Jack’s eyes widened. The only reason she’d cry about him being alive was if someone did the unthinkable to him. Jack closed his eyes and tried to sit up. Pain in a certain area told him that it had happened. How could he not remember that? He’d gone way too far. He could sort of handle her disappointment, but he knew she’d blame herself for something she had no control over.
With a sigh, Jack opened his eyes and watched as Evelyn and the doctor continued to talk. He saw Jeremiah run down the hallway and pull Evelyn into a hug, trying to comfort her as much as he could. He saw that Jack was awake and mentioned it to the doctor, who entered the room and kept the door open. He stood beside the bed and checked his vitals, before smiling slightly.
“Hi, Jack. I’m Doctor Bryant. Do you know where you are?” Jack nodded. He didn’t know exactly which hospital he was in, but he knew he was in one. “Do you know why you’re here?”
Jack’s eyes slid over to his family. “I was beaten and raped,” he stated calmly and glanced at the doctor, seeing the shock on his face. “And before you send in the cops, I don’t remember who did it.”
“I figured as much. Rohypnol was found in your blood. We’d like to keep you over—”
“I wanna go home,” Jack cut in, feeling sick. He couldn’t even remember who he was with when he blacked out. How did he get the defensive wounds, if he was unconscious?
“I know you do, Jack. But you’ve gone through a lot and we’d like to make sure everything is—”
“I wanna go home!” Jack shouted, which startled the doctor. It brought Evelyn and Jeremiah into the room, as well, as Jack continued to glare at the doctor.
“What’s the problem?” Jeremiah demanded, while Evelyn hugged Jack tightly, weeping quietly.
“He isn’t ready to leave,” the doctor said and sighed. “He was stitched up twenty minutes ago and honestly, I’m quite surprised that he came out of anesthesia so quickly.”
Jeremiah scratched the nape of his neck. “Look, the only person that could keep him here ain’t around. So, you got two choices. You either knock him out with a sedative or we’re takin’ him home.”
The moment the doctor’s eyes looked at the IV, Jack growled. “You come anywhere near me with a sedative and I’ll rip my fuckin’ arm open with the needle,” he warned and felt Evelyn shake her head, not at all surprised that Jack would go to any level to get what he wanted.
The doctor raised an eyebrow, but turned to Jeremiah. “Did you want to sign the discharge papers?”
As Jeremiah and the doctor left the room, Evelyn pulled back and wiped her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Jackie,” she whispered, unable to look him in the eye.
“Don’t blame yourself, Mom. None of this was your fault. But…I’m sorry.” Jack smiled as that got Evelyn to look at him.
“Don’t you ever apologize for what was done to you, Jackie,” she warned and cupped his cheek, fresh tears welling in her eyes. “I brought you home to keep your safe and it still happened.”
“It didn’t happen at home, Mom. I know I’m safe there.” Jack took hold of her hand and pulled her in for a hug, lowering his eyes.
Evelyn pulled back after a minute and opened the bag she had with her, handing Jack jeans, shirt and shoes. “I’ll be outside if you need any help, okay?” She forced a very small smile and then left the room, after drawing the curtains across the window to give him privacy.
Jack removed the IV and the stickers stuck to his chest, ignoring the flat line sound. He gritted his teeth as he sat on the edge of the bed and then got to his feet. He pulled off the hospital gown and bit back a scream of pain as he stepped into his jeans. He’d just pulled on his shirt when there was a knock at the door. Jack called out for the person to enter and smiled at Jeremiah. There was no way in hell he was able to put his shoes alone.
“You sure you wanna leave, Jackie?”
Jack just nodded. A lump formed in his throat at the gentleness of Jeremiah’s voice. He lifted his foot as Jeremiah got on a knee in front of him and did up his laces. Jack felt like a child and leaned heavily on Jeremiah for support as they left the room. He glared at any hospital staff that dared to make eye contact with him, especially when he knew that the car ride back home was going to be the worst.
Evelyn said she brought her own car and that she needed to stop at a pharmacy to pick up the painkillers for Jack, despite his protests that he didn’t want any. He realized that Jeremiah was basically dragging him out of the hospital and nodded. They waited for her outside and moved away from the doors, so Jack could smoke. It was a cool night, but Jeremiah was warm.
By the time he’d finished his cigarette, Evelyn was with them. She handed a pill and a bottle of water to Jack, making sure he took it. They waited around for a few minutes, talking about the stars to give the pill some time to break down and enter Jack’s system. The moment Jeremiah noticed that Jack was standing on his own, he said it was time to go home.
The sheer agony he’d felt was now just a dull throb, which Jack found he could live with. He had no idea what he’d taken, but he really liked it. Even if it did make his vision a little fuzzy and make him want to sleep for three days. It was better than not being able to breath and he could still focus on what was happening around him. He heard Jeremiah say that he would be around tomorrow. However, he must have looked doped out of his mind, because Jeremiah said he was able to contact him and he said he was on his way back.
Fear shot through Jack. He prayed they weren’t talking about Bobby, as he didn’t want his oldest brother to see him so pathetic. At the same time, he had some choice words for the eldest Mercer boy and he wanted to say them while he was still angry about what happened to him.
“Thanks, Jerry,” Jack called as he taken over to Evelyn’s car. He collapsed onto his hip in the passenger seat and had Evelyn buckle him in.
The drive home was done in silence and when they got back, Jack was practically asleep. He woke a little more when he heard Evelyn’s door open. He unbuckled the seatbelt as she opened the door for him. He managed to get out of the car relatively painlessly, but he knew that the stairs up to his room were going to be a right bitch to get through.
As soon as Jack collapsed on his bed, he was out. Evelyn pulled his shoes off and turned off the light, keeping the door ajar. She went down to the kitchen and made a pot of coffee. Once she had a cup, she sat at the table and cried.

When Jack woke, he could hear voices from downstairs; voices he hadn’t heard for so long. The sun was shining brightly and he looked at the clock beside his bed, seeing that it was eleven in the morning. He yawned and noticed that he was dressed, with the exception of his shoes. He rolled onto his back and cried out, rolling off his bed and landing on his stomach on the floor. He’d rather have the pain from his chest and ribs over the pain from his rear.
“Jesus, Jackie-poo, you look bad,” Angel said as he stepped into the room.
Despite the obvious statement and the pain, Jack couldn’t help but grin at his older brother. He raised an eyebrow when he saw that his brother had some kind of afro happening and shook his head. “How’s the military treating a Mercer?”
Angel threw his head back and howled with laughter. “I think I scare ’em,” he said as he sat down on the floor and handed a pill and water bottle to Jack. “You gonna be able to take it like that, man?”
Jack accepted the challenge, tossing the pill into his mouth and angling the bottle. He swallowed it down and laid his head on his arm, waiting for it to kick in. “So, why d’ya think ya scare ’em?”
“How did Bobby word it? Oh, right — No Mercy. I’m almost certain they think I’m psychotic. No idea where they got that from!” Angel grinned and ruffled Jack’s hair, which faded very quickly as the next question came out. “Who did this to ya, Jack?”
Jack sighed softly and lowered his eyes. “I have no idea, Angel. The fuckers gave me roofies. I don’t even remember who I was with before I blacked out.” He swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. He refused to cry about it. They won’t break him.
“Don’t worry, Jack. I’ll go bang on a few doors.” Angel smiled and ruffled Jack’s hair again, before he stood and helped Jack up, laying him on the bed.
Jack heard Angel leave the room. He could tell by the look in his brother’s dark eyes that Angel was going to tear up the city, looking for the person that caused his little brother a heap of pain. Once the pill kicked in, Jack stood and stumbled into the bathroom. He relieved his bladder, washed his hands and brushed his teeth. He made his way back to his bed and collapsed on it, passing out.
For the vast majority of the next week, Jack slept. The painkillers knocked him out, which worked for him. It meant he didn’t have to deal with the pain. Sometimes, they just made everything fuzzy. He could hear people walking into his room, but didn’t have the energy to open his eyes. He heard Angel in the house, running up and down the stairs every so often and Jack was certain that the first day he woke up, he heard Bobby’s voice. He hadn’t heard it since and he was almost certain he never came into the room.
On day eight, Jack was able to sit up on his own with minimal pain. He was finally able to shower without fear of drowning in it. Once he was clean, he headed downstairs with a towel around his waist. He was starving to the point that he couldn’t be bothered dressing. He went into the kitchen and grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl, turning to head to the living room. He froze and turned to the table, his eyes wide. He looked at the nine-millimeter pistol that was just sitting on the top.
Shrugging and assuming it belonged to Angel; Jack went to the living room and sat on the sofa, turning on the television as he ate the banana. He watched the show that was on, which was followed by a quick news break. There was a report of two teenage boys that were missing. Their pictures came on screen and Jack remembered seeing them at the party. There was a bit tagged on about a family home being set ablaze, while all the occupants slept. He got the feeling that Angel figured out that they were the ones who’d done the deed and made them disappear. He wasn’t too sure about the house fire, though. That seemed more like Bobby’s style.
Jack turned off the television and threw out the peel, going upstairs to change and head out for a smoke. Despite what happened to him, Evelyn still refused to let him smoke inside and the only way he could get up and down the stairs was when he was doped up. He dressed, grabbed his smokes and went out the backdoor, standing out there and lighting up. He moaned quietly and tilted his head back. It felt so good to feel all those chemicals and nicotine without being high.
He raised an eyebrow when he heard a car in the driveway. He was about to call out when he heard Angel and Bobby. They walked in through the front, talking about something that had to do with hockey. The season hadn’t even started yet, but it seemed that Bobby was itching for it to begin. Bobby told Angel to check on Jack, while he went to the kitchen and got a pot of coffee going. He noticed the gun and told Angel not to leave it lying around.
Angel came running down the stairs. “Jack’s gone, man.”
“Jack!” Bobby called and Jack heard him running towards the laundry room.
Jack crushed out his cigarette in the glass ashtray and turned around, seeing the fear slowly die from Bobby’s eyes, until they became carefully guarded to remain blank. Jack entered the house and brushed past Bobby, the previous eighteen months of pain crashing back into him. He had missed Bobby so much that it physically hurt. The worst part was that he left without a word. Now that he was back, he was guarding himself and Jack hated that.
He got to the stairs when he heard Bobby say his name. “What?” he demanded and glared down the hallway. Bobby stayed in the kitchen.
“You okay?”
“Fine,” Jack spat with as much poison as he could muster, instead of telling Bobby to ‘fuck off,’ as he previously wanted to. He had heard Evelyn come inside and stop at the iciness surrounding Jack and the standoffish aura from Bobby.
“It’s good to see you up and about without the pills, Jackie,” Evelyn said and was utterly astonished when Jack looked at her. He completely changed the moment he wasn’t looking at Bobby, as he smiled warmly.
“It’s good to be up without them,” he said jovially and walked up the stairs to his room. He threw his laundry into a basket and placed it by the door. He grabbed the pill bottle, which had two left. He went to the bathroom and flushed the remaining pills and threw the bottle into the waste basket.
He went back to his room and started when he saw Angel in there. “Somethin’ wrong with you and Bobby?” he inquired innocently, as if had just an inkling of an idea that was something was off.
“Nope,” Jack said with a chipper smile and grabbed the basket.
“Jack,” Angel said before Jack could leave his room. “Don’t be too hard on him. He’s done more for ya than ya know.”
“I know that you and he killed my rapists. And I’m really happy about—”
“I didn’t do shit, Jack. Bobby was the one that didn’t eat or sleep for three days, huntin’ them down. I wanted to help him, but he said he’d rather not have me see what he did to them.” Angel stood up and placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “We love ya, man. Don’t ever forget that.”
Jack watched as Angel walked down the stairs and out the front door. He lowered his eyes for a moment, trying to think of what horrible thing Bobby could’ve done to those kids that he didn’t want Angel to see. After all, Angel had seen war. He knew for a fact that Bobby wouldn’t have raped them, as that was beneath him. The only thing he could think of was that Bobby tortured them, before he finally put a bullet in their skulls. The torture must’ve been really bad, but Jack knew he would never get the details.
With a sigh, Jack took the basket to the laundry and got the washer going. He opened the fridge and tried to find something that took his fancy. When nothing stood out to him, he grabbed another banana and went to head for the living room when he froze. Bobby and Evelyn were talking outside the backdoor. Despite everything that Evelyn taught him about not eavesdropping, Jack couldn’t help it.
“I warned you that it would happen,” Evelyn was saying. “The police didn’t even show up here, so running seemed to have been an overreach.”
“I’d rather him hate me than have that fucker alive.” Evelyn must’ve nodded, because Bobby asked, “How is he, really? Aside from…Aside from what happened.”
“He took your leaving hard, very hard. But we knew that would happen.”
Jack frowned at their words. They knew it would happen? Bobby’s disappearance was planned and no one told him? If he knew that Bobby had to leave the city, he wouldn’t have acted out as much as he did. He wouldn’t have felt abandoned.
“He took to partying and drinking.”
“You didn’t stop him?” Anger was seeping into Bobby’s voice and Jack knew he was going to get the shit beaten out of him.
“I’m not you, Bobby. All I could do was make sure he came home safe at night. It broke my heart to see him drunk, stinking of sex—”
Jack jumped when there was a loud bang and a growl. He had no idea what Bobby just did, but Jack’s knuckles were aching with the force that was behind the punch. However, he wanted to know why Bobby was so angry. Surely, he did the same thing when he was Jack’s age and probably did worse, as well.
“Come inside. I’ll patch up your hand.”
Jack quickly moved away from the kitchen and sat on the sofa in the living room, turning on the TV. He kept his face neutral as he stared at the screen. When Evelyn walked by, Jack asked, “What was that bang?”
Evelyn turned to him and smiled. “Just Bobby attacking the house,” she said and went upstairs. She came back down a minute later with the first aid kit and Jack followed her into the kitchen.
Jack winced when he saw Bobby’s hand. He was surprised that his brother didn’t break his knuckles, judging by the amount of blood from the broken skin that was going down the kitchen sink. He turned off the water and grabbed a paper towel, placing that over his knuckles and went to the table. He hissed as the antiseptic cream was applied.
“Stop being a baby,” Evelyn said as she continued to rub it. “Can you move your fingers?” Bobby flexed them and nodded. Evelyn wrapped a bandage around his knuckles and then kissed it. “Try not to destroy the house.”
Jack smirked at him, glad that he received some kind of pain. He lost it the moment Evelyn stood to return the first aid kit to the bathroom. Jack turned to leave, but almost didn’t when he felt Bobby’s eyes on his back. He manned up and walked out of the kitchen, going back to the living room. On the end, curling his legs and rested against the arm of the sofa as he stared the really bad soap opera that was on.
Evelyn returned to the kitchen and they resumed their conversation in hushed tones. “Tell him,” Evelyn said a little too loudly. A chair scraped along the floor and Bobby was storming past the living room to the front door. “Bobby Mercer, don’t you run from this.”
Jack blinked and stood up, moving to the living room entrance. He saw Evelyn standing just outside of the kitchen, arms crossed over her chest, glaring at her oldest son. Bobby had his hand on the doorknob, apparently debating if he should ignore his mother’s words or not. Jack slipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans, hunching his shoulders and waiting for Bobby’s reaction.
“Tell him,” Evelyn ordered and Jack saw Bobby’s shoulders tensing.
Bobby turned his head and looked at Jack. “I’m glad you’re okay, you little fairy,” he said and opened the door, leaving the house.
Jack frowned and then looked at Evelyn, seeing the disappointment on her face. When she found Jack staring at her, she smiled and beckoned him into the kitchen for lunch. With a shrug, Jack went in and watched as she made him a sandwich. He wanted to ask about everything he’d seen and heard, but knew he didn’t want to get into trouble for eavesdropping.
“I know you listened to us, Jackie,” Evelyn said as she placed the plate on the table. Jack ducked his head, staring at his hands that were in his lap. “I also know that you must be angry and upset that Bobby and I planned for him to leave that night.”
Jack forced back tears and nodded, accepting the glass of milk that Evelyn held out to him. “Why?” he mumbled, not looking up.
“We didn’t want you to know what he’d done.” That made Jack look up, eyes curious. Evelyn sighed and sat down next to him, knowing she had to tell him the truth. “Bobby killed your father.”
Jack blinked, waiting for her to go on. When she didn’t, he raised an eyebrow. “That’s it?”
“That’s basically it. I didn’t want Bobby getting himself arrested, so he could be placed in the same prison and then spending his life in there. So, when the time came for your father’s parole hearing, I said he seemed fit enough to rejoin society. Three days after he was released, he was killed and Bobby fled. We were expecting the police to suspect him, considering he was questioned so extensively about the Harley gang shootings.”
“The law only knows me as Jack Mercer. They wouldn’t have made the connection.”
Evelyn nodded. “We know that now, but…” She exhaled shakily.
Jack frowned as he looked at her. He noticed that she had a few extra wrinkles than he remembered her having. As he thought about all the times she looked at him with disappointment, her eyes hadn’t seemed as lively, either. Having Bobby on the run took a heavy toll on her and Jack had only thought of himself. He smiled and nodded, leaning toward and hugging her tightly.
Evelyn returned the hug. “I’m sorry that I lied to you, Jackie.”
Jack pulled back and nodded; the smile still in place. “I know. He’s your oldest son and you were scared that I wouldn’t react favorably if I found out he’d killed my biological father.” He sat back and shrugged. “After what I just went through, that doesn’t really register anymore.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Good. Like, really good. I can actually feel my body and the pain is there, but not really.” Jack shrugged again and took a bite of the sandwich. He swallowed and wondered if he could get the answer he wanted. “What did you want Bobby to tell me?”
Evelyn chuckled and tapped Jack’s nose. “He told me that in confidence, Jackie. It’s up to him to tell you, if he wants to. Now, eat your lunch.” She went into the laundry room and put Jack’s clothing into the dryer, while Jack took another bite.
As she got started on dinner, Jack finished his lunch and washed his plate. He drank his milk and got another glass, going into the living room. He channel surfed for a little, before turning off the TV and heading upstairs, just as Bobby came back in. The sight of his oldest brother gave him both relief and blind rage. He didn’t care that Bobby had killed his father, but he was pissed off that he left without a word. He hadn’t even called or written a letter.
Bobby barely glanced at him as he walked down to the kitchen with a bag of groceries. Jack shook his head and headed to his room, where he turned on his radio and turned it up. He knew it pissed Bobby off when he played his music too loud, especially since Bobby didn’t appreciate his taste in music. Jack enjoyed Motown, when he was in the mood for it. Aside from that, he preferred rock, which apparently was just white noise to Bobby and he wanted it played low or not at all.
He placed his glass of milk on his desk and crawled onto it, grabbing a smoke and lighting it. Naturally, a minute later, someone knocked on his door. He knew it was Evelyn as Bobby wouldn’t have been nearly as gentle. He called out to her and she said that she was heading into work real quick, as someone there needed a hand with something. Jack closed his eyes. That would mean he and Bobby would be alone in the house, which would lead to a screaming match.
“Okay. Be safe and love you,” he called back.
Jack finished his smoke and pulled back into the room, just as Evelyn was pulling out of the driveway. He turned around on his desk, pulling a foot up and leaned back against the window. He counted back from sixty and like clockwork; Bobby was pounding on his door, telling him to turn it down. Jack ignored him and swung his leg in time with the beat.
“Jack, if I have to go in there, it won’t survive!”
Jack quickly turned down the volume, knowing that was a promise Bobby would keep. He heard Bobby go down the stairs and closed his eyes, swinging his leg again as the song changed. He grabbed his guitar from its corner and strummed the strings, tuning accordingly. He eventually turned off the radio and just played around with notes and bars.
He sighed and shook his head. Nothing seemed to be working. He drank his milk and headed down stairs. He found that Angel had finally come back home and greeted him. Angel smiled, watching whatever sport was on the tube. Jack washed out his glass and placed it on the wrack. He was about to had back to his room, when the dryer buzzed that it was finished. He checked to make sure that they were dry and pulled them into his basket.
Jack inhaled deeply and frowned when caught cigarette smoke. He looked at the backdoor and saw Bobby standing out there, a lit cigarette between his fingers. “You fucking hypocrite,” Jack muttered and glared at his brother. He opened the door, which got Bobby’s attention. “You suicidal?”
He didn’t wait for an answer. He closed the door, grabbed his basket and went up to his room. He was halfway up the stairs when he heard Bobby. “Jack.”
“What?”
“Don’t give me that attitude, you little fairy. I’m your big brother. I also happen to be legal, so I can fuckin’ smoke if I wanna. Unlike you, gettin’ drunk and fuckin’ anythin’ with a heartbeat.”
“Fuck you, Bobby,” Jack spat and went up to his room. He didn’t bother to close the door as he knew Bobby would break it down.
As he expected, Bobby followed him up, but didn’t enter the room. “You don’t get to say that to me, Jack. After everythin’ this family’s done for you, you don’t get to say that to any of us!”
Jack paused in folding his laundry and glared at Bobby. “I’ve never and will never think of saying that to Mom! But you? You’re a fuckin’ hypocrite!”
“And how am I a hypocrite?”
“How old were you when you started drinking and fucking, Bobby? Fourteen, fifteen maybe? I’m nearly seventeen and I think I have a right to live my fucking life the way I want!”
“And what about Ma, huh? Did you stop to think ’bout her or were you too busy living in your own little world to realize that she was worryin’ herself sick about you?!”
“Like you can talk!” Jack stopped trying to fold his laundry and grabbed his smokes. He tried to leave, but found that Bobby wouldn’t move.
“I was in hiding because of what I did for you!”
“Something I never asked you to do!” Jack shoved Bobby out of the doorway and stepped out.
“You didn’t have to, Jack! You went catatonic when you found he was comin’ up for parole! I doubt you’d handle him actually bein’ out and on the streets!” Bobby shook his head, as though trying to calm down, which Jack knew would never happen. Bobby’s temper always won. “I did what I had to, because unlike some, I care about what happens to our family!”
Jack spun around and punched Bobby across the jaw. Before Bobby could get over the shock, Jack tackled him and punched him again. Bobby blocked Jack’s punches and shoved him back, getting to his feet. He did the one thing that none of them would ever think to do. He punched Jack, splitting his lip. However, Jack was passed feeling fear and focused solely on his rage.
Unfortunately for Jack, Bobby had way more experience brawling than he did. Bobby was able to duck and block most of his punches. Unfortunately for Bobby, Jack was a quick learner. He soon recognized Bobby’s tells and managed to not get hit a couple of times. However, the punch to the solar plexus had Jack groaning and sinking to his knees, holding his abdomen.
As his breathing returned to normal, Jack realized that his anger had died off. All that remained was the resounding urge to cry. He wasn’t mad at Bobby for hitting him. He’d probably be pissed off if Bobby didn’t hit him, thinking he was too fragile to handle a punch from his brother. He bowed his head, refusing to get up until the tears in his eyes dried.
“Look,” Bobby started softly as he looked down at the top of Jack’s messy hair. “Be angry with me. Hate me, but don’t shut Ma out. It wasn’t her fault and it wasn’t her idea.”
“I don’t hate you, Bobby.” Jack’s shoulders slumped and he bit his lower lip, digging his teeth into the split in the hopes it would fight back the tears. He exhaled shakily. “You said you’d always be there for me. Except the two times I needed you the most, you weren’t.”
The silence in the room was overwrought and stretched on forever. Bobby finally crouched down and forced Jack to look up, holding his jaw. Jack looked in Bobby’s eyes, seeing the regret, guilt and burning hatred at himself for what he’d done. Under all that, he saw an undying love and devotion that finally made Jack break. He pulled his head back and dropped it, unable to stop the tears. He placed his hands over his mouth, trying to keep his sobs quiet.
Bobby stood and went to the closet, surprised that the box of tissues was still in there. He retrieved it and placed it in front of Jack. He stayed close, wanting to be a comforting presence, which seemed to make Jack cry harder. Jack reached out and gripped his shirt. He didn’t pull Bobby closer or shove him away, he just held his shirt.
Angel stood at the door and watched as his little brother finally broke down and released the tears all of them knew he’d been keeping in. He glanced at Bobby, waiting to see if his big brother would tell him anything. Bobby just shook his head and Angel nodded, heading downstairs and into the kitchen. He began making hot chocolate for Jack.
Jack screamed into the hand that still covered his mouth. The pain that he’d tried to suppress was coming back with a vengeance. It hurt so much. Everything that happened to him before he arrived at the Mercers’ surged past the protective shell he’d placed around it. His grip on Bobby’s shirt tightened, before he released it and fell forward, supporting himself on trembling arms.
He’d tried to be strong for so long. He didn’t want to break. He didn’t want to remember, but the memories were there. He was already at his lowest and they were kicking him while he was down. As more seeped out, Jack couldn’t control the sobs. Between them, he was screaming in agony, letting out everything that he wanted to do while he was beaten, raped and tortured for fun.
An hour later, the sobs died off, but the tears continued to fall. Jack was finally in control enough to grab a tissue and wipe his nose. He stared at the puddle on the floor and shook his head. He was such a fairy. He raised his head when he heard Bobby say his name softly. He was expecting to see a taunting smirk, but all he saw was concern. Bobby’s eyes were dark with pain and Jack dropped his head again, a new wave of sorrow hitting.
The expression just reminded him of what he couldn’t have. While he was eternally grateful to be part of the Mercer family, he wished he’d met Bobby under different circumstances. At least then, he’d have a glimmer of hope that he could have that man. He knew it was just as insane as loving his brother beyond that, but hope was all he ever had through his life.
Eventually, Jack sighed and closed his eyes. He felt completely drained, but feeling a little better. He had no idea how much stress he carried keeping everything in like that. He finally understood why Bobby told him to release some of it. Jack never thought he’d release everything that he’d kept bottled up, but he couldn’t argue the fact he felt better. He felt like he was able to put everything behind him and move on with his life.
Jack opened his eyes when he felt a heavy hand on his neck, gently stroking the skin. “I’m not a dog, Bobby,” he said as he grabbed another tissue and blew his nose. He grabbed another and wiped his eyes, straightening his back and wincing. It was an unnatural position to keep for so long.
“No, but you’re most definitely a fairy.” Jack rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t stop the smile from appearing. “How’re ya feelin’?”
Jack slowly got to his feet, as the blood circulation started flowing again. He sat on his bed and then fell to the side. “Like I wanna sleep for the next thirty-six hours.”
“I kept tellin’ ya to release the pressure, man.” Bobby stood up and looked out the door. “D’ya think you could handle some of Angel’s hot chocolate?”
Jack stared up at Bobby. “Angel knows how to make hot chocolate?”
“Yep. Thick and creamy, probably just how you like it.” Bobby smirked as Jack sat up.
“Leave it alone, man. I can’t feel my feet at the moment…or my knees…and my head is killing me.” Jack curled his toes, ignoring the pounding in his head from his extended crying period. However, he did want to try Angel’s hot chocolate, mostly because he was curious.
“You should probably eat somethin’, too.”
Jack sniffed and nodded. He picked up the used tissues and headed down slowly, not wanting to lose his footing on the stairs. He threw out the tissues and found a mug of hot chocolate waiting for him. He picked it up and found that it wasn’t so much ‘hot chocolate’ as much as ‘room-temperature chocolate.’ He didn’t care, though. He sipped it and Bobby wasn’t lying. It was thick and creamy. He drank it down and went into the dining room, smiling at Evelyn.
Her eyes widened when she saw that Jack had the telltale signs of a physical fight. “Bobby,” she said, turning her head to him. “Care to explain?”
Bobby glanced at Jack, as though debating if he should mention their fight. However, they all knew that their mother would know he would be lying if he said he didn’t touch him. Finally, he shrugged. “What? Someone had to beat some sense into him.”
oOo
Since his crying session, Jack finally found a luster for life again. He assumed that Bobby hanging around had something to do with it, too. A couple of weeks later and Angel’s leave was up. Jack had hugged him tightly, praying that he would return to them. He and Evelyn watched as he got into a cab and waved at them, before he was gone again.
The pain was completely gone and with his check up, the doctor said that everything had healed nicely. He had questioned Jack if he remembered anything about that night and Jack still hadn’t. It was annoying him, but since he knew that Bobby had taken care of the problem, he wasn’t that interested in learning more.
Bobby came out of the house with a duffle bag slung over his shoulder. He said he was going out for a couple of hours, but he’d be back in time for dinner. Jack watched as he backed out, wrapping his arms around himself and lowering his eyes when he was gone. He looked up when Evelyn placed her hand on his shoulder and asked if wanted to help her with some baking. His eyes lighting up, Jack nodded and followed her back into the house.
They spent the day making cupcakes, as Evelyn wanted to take something to a refuge. Knowing where they were going, Jack was extra careful with his piping. He made sure the butter cream was the correct consistency and that it was piped onto each small cake perfectly. He tapped sprinkles from their container and moved onto the next cake, almost going on autopilot.
“Jackie?” Evelyn asked quietly as she turned away from the sink, drying her hands. Jack finished the icing on the cupcake in front of him and looked up. “Do you feel something for Bobby that might be more than brotherly love?”
Jack stared at her with wide eyes, squeezing on the piping bag. He didn’t think he’d been that obvious. He didn’t sneak glances at him when he thought no one else was looking. He didn’t try to hang back, so he could be alone with him. He made sure he didn’t do that, because he didn’t want anyone knowing what he truly felt for the oldest Mercer boy.
He could feel tears running down his cheeks, waiting for Evelyn to tell him that he wasn’t welcomed in her house anymore. She took a step towards him, which made him back away. He tripped over a chair he forgot was there and fell to the ground heavily. The last of the icing in the piping bag shot across the floor, along with the star nozzle that was attached to it.
“I’m s-sorry! I…I really d-didn’t m-mean t-to!” he said from his position on the floor.
“Jackie—”
Before she could say anything else, Jack stood up and ran out of the house. He ran to the closest park and hung back, away from the people. He knew he was still crying and he didn’t want anyone questioning him about it. The last thing he needed was someone teasing him because of it. He really didn’t want to be arrested for beating someone to death, in a park of all places.
While he was alone, Jack thought about what Evelyn said. She hadn’t sounded disgusted or concerned about Jack’s affection for his brother running a little too deep. She simply sounded curious. In a blind panic, Jack hadn’t noticed that. He wasn’t sure if he could ever face her again. He was still trying to pinpoint what it was that tipped her off to his feelings. Bobby had a strong bond with all of his brothers. Angel and Jeremiah loved him, as well. They might not agree with him or even like him at times, but they loved him wholeheartedly.
Jack looked up and frowned as rain fell into his eyes. He hadn’t even noticed the storm clouds before. When he looked around the park, he found it deserted. He sighed and sat on a now vacant bench and watched as water pooled on the metal. He pushed it around with his finger, still thinking about his behavior and actions around Bobby.
Sure, he looked up to him, but didn’t Angel and Jeremiah at some stage? Yeah, he’d die for him, but wouldn’t Angel and Jeremiah? Of course, there were times that he wanted to kill Bobby for taking a joke too far, but hadn’t Angel and Jeremiah threatened him before? Honestly, he did feel the most security around Bobby, but didn’t Angel and Jeremiah also feel that?
Before he could decide to run home, pack his bags and leave before he was kicked out, the rain stopped falling on him. Jack looked up and saw Evelyn standing beside him with an umbrella over him. She smiled warmly and Jack looked away. Perhaps he had completely overreacted. That was always an option when it came to him, he was coming to realize.
He looked back at her when something butted against his shoulder. He frowned and looked up again when she held out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter to him. Jack sighed and took them from her, unwrapping the smokes and lighting up almost immediately. He inhaled shakily and went back to staring at the water pooling on the table. Evelyn sat beside him and remained quiet.
Eventually, Jack looked at her. “H-How d-did y-you know?”
“I know my boys,” Evelyn answered and Jack frowned. “You’re also the easiest to read, Jackie. You never hide what you’re feeling. If you’re scared, it’s written all over your face. If you’re happy, you’re practically jumping up and down. When you’re in love, you reveal everything you wanted to keep hidden.”
Jack turned his attention back to the pooling water. He figured she was talking about his mini breakdown a week or so ago. In his defense, Bobby had forced that out of him and he had been raped only a week before that. His emotions were everywhere a little bit. He also discovered that Bobby had abandoned him, because he killed his father and possibly tortured his rapists. He didn’t know if he should punch Bobby or throw a fucking parade in his honor.
“I also noticed how much it hurt you when you realized Bobby had disappeared. I know that you were getting into trouble, so I would be forced to call Bobby and have him smack some sense into you.” Evelyn watched as Jack finished his cigarette and lit another one. He was still deathly scared that he was going to be kicked out of the house. “You also had the telltale signs of looking at him and just smiling.”
Jack nervously picked at his nails, before drawing in from the cigarette. “I am s-sorry. I t-tried t-to s-stop it. B-But it d-didn’t.”
“Jackie,” Evelyn said as she placed a hand on his shoulder, pulling back when he flinched. “You’re still my son and I still love you dearly.” She relaxed slightly when Jack looked at her. “With what you boys have been through, you truly deserve happiness. And I really am glad that you learned that you could love another so deeply that it hurts when they’re away from you, after what you went through.”
Jack lowered his eyes, finishing the smoke and dabbing it out in one of the pools. He exhaled and braced himself for the answer to his next question. “Y-You h-haven’t s-said h-how y-you feel about it.”
“It’s a pride and joy to me, Jackie. I believe this world needs more love in it, regardless of gender. And just remember, you aren’t related by blood and if gay marriage is ever legalized here, neither of you would need to change your last names.”
Jack smiled and glanced at her, before shaking his head. He finally felt the fear die off. “I think someone in Records would see a familial tie with us.”
“The point still stands, Jackie. The only thing I have ever wanted from you is for you to be happy.” Jack smiled and went to hug her, but remember he was soaked. She hugged him anyway. “Now, I’ve been meaning to ask about the study hall being burned last year…”

Jack pouted as he lied on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Upon hearing the truth about him burning the study hall, Evelyn had punished him and taken his guitars from him for three weeks. Summer vacation suddenly got very boring. Bobby was out most of the days and usually didn’t come until late, when Jack was already asleep. Every day, he left with his duffle bag and Jack wanted to ask him about it.
With a sigh, Jack rolled onto his side and stared at the clock. It was reading six past midnight. He still had a month of summer break left and he was slowly going insane. With another sigh, Jack rolled onto his other side and stared at the wall. Groaning, he sat up and threw back the covers. He pulled on a pair of jeans and headed downstairs. He turned on the TV and turned down the volume, not wanting to wake Evelyn.
He watched some history show about something that happened in Australia. He frowned at the last words ever spoken by whomever the show as about. He sat up, committing the words to memory. He was going to get that tattooed on him, if it was the last thing he ever did. Somehow, it made sense in his mind that it would match up with Bobby’s ‘No Mercy’ tattoo.
As the show ended, Jack was considering going back to bed to attempt sleep again, when the front door opened. Bobby entered and quietly dumped his duffle bag in the front hall. He saw the light of TV and entered the room, flopping on the sofa beside Jack.
Bobby stretched a hand out, placing it on Jack’s neck, massaging it gently. “You shouldn’t be up, sweetheart.” Jack lowered his head slightly. “Why are you still up?”
Jack glanced at Bobby. The older Mercer had his eyes on the TV and Jack saw how tired he looked. “I was…I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d wait for you. I don’t get to see you that much these days.” He shrugged. “It’s kinda lonely here, without someone else in the house.”
“I understand that,” Bobby muttered and removed his hand. He stood up and stretched, wandering into the kitchen. He returned a minute later with a beer in one hand and a glass of milk in the other. “Drink your milk and go to bed.”
Jack took the glass and looked down at it. He tried not to flinch when he saw that Bobby had opted to sit in an armchair. He wanted to tell Bobby that it had hurt when he left. He wanted Bobby to know that the pain was unbearable and that he felt like he was being punished. However, if said that, it would bring up the question of why Jack felt that way and Jack wasn’t ready to have his heart broken.
“Where do you go every day?”
Bobby’s head snapped to him and he frowned. “No one’s told ya?” Jack shook his head, unsure of what he was meant to have been told. He was hoping and praying that Bobby wouldn’t be leaving for good. “I’m a hockey player now, Jackie! I’m in training for this season.”
Jack’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open. “Holy shit, Bobby! That’s…That’s awesome!”
“I’ll be spending a little more time at home, as well.” Bobby studied Jack’s face, noting the uncertainty that entered his baby blues. “And I ain’t gonna lie, I’m probably gonna come home drunk…a lot.”
Jack nodded slowly. He truly was happy for Bobby. Getting onto a hockey team was his dream and it finally came true. As Jack stared back at him without seeing him, he wondered if his dream would come true, as well. Would he finally be able to have Bobby in every way legal? He blinked when he felt warm breath on his lips and he focused on Bobby’s eyes that were startling close. He sat back and glared when Bobby smirked.
“You gotta be a little more secure in yourself, ya little fairy,” Bobby said as he polished off the beer and took the bottle through to the kitchen. “Finish your milk and go to bed, Jack.”
Nodding, despite Bobby not seeing it, Jack sipped the milk. He placed the glass on the table and stood up, going to the foot of the stairs. “B-Bobby,” he said when his older brother was about halfway up. He mentally cursed himself for that damn stutter that seemed to come out when he was nervous and scared, more than angry or excited.
“What’s wrong, Jack?” Bobby whispered as he turned to Jack, frowning when he walked up the stairs. He’d heard the stutter, but he couldn’t think of anything that would scare him or make him nervous.
Jack stood on the step before Bobby’s and hugged him quickly. He pulled back and smiled. “Congrats, man.”
Bobby chuckled, placing his hand on the nape of Jack’s neck and pressing their foreheads together. “Thanks, Cracker Jack. Now, finish your milk and go to bed.” He turned Jack around and very gently pushed him towards the bottom of the stairs.
Jack went back to the living room and sat down. He finished his milk while he watched another show, this one about World War II. Before he knew it, someone was shaking his shoulder and he woke up, looking around bleary eyed and trying to figure out where he was. He recognized the living room, but he didn’t remember falling asleep. He stared up at Bobby and yawned, before he fell to the side and was asleep again.
Bobby looked down at Jack and raised an eyebrow. That kid really didn’t feel like listening at times. He sighed and turned off the TV, picking him up. He was surprised when Jack clung to him like a child would, legs around his waist and arms around his shoulders. He quite enjoyed the closeness, but his main objective was to get Jack to his bed and then kick his ass the following day for not doing as he was told.
For some reason, all of his little brothers failed to realize that big brother always knew best.
oOo
There was a week left of summer break and Jack didn’t want to go back to school. True to his word, Bobby had arrived back home drunk several times a week. He often crashed on the sofa, but if Jack was still awake, he would allow Bobby to take his bed, while he slept on the sofa. Evelyn had asked Bobby if he wanted to stay in Angel’s room, while he was away and Bobby shrugged and agreed. Upon hearing that, Jack just looked down at his waffles.
He liked it when Bobby slept in his bed. He could smell his big brother on the sheets and pillow the next night, which made sleeping so much easier. It also made certain dreams feel a lot more real. While he loved that, he hated the fact that he had to wash his bedding and then get Bobby’s drunk ass up the stairs and into his bed. The first time he’d done it, Bobby had simply muttered, ‘Such a helpful little fairy.’
Unfortunately, that week was when everything changed for Jack. As much as he wanted things to stay the same, a drunk Bobby rarely made good choices – just ask Jeremiah’s treehouse. This time, he did more than just destroy someone’s hard work, he broke his little brother’s heart without realizing it. Or maybe he did, Jack didn’t hang around to ask questions.
The night started out how it usually did. Jack was trying not to scratch at his new tattoo, which was strung between his hips. After midnight, Bobby came home drunk and giggly. Jack got up to see what was going on, praying that Bobby wasn’t high. He froze when he heard another a voice outside the front door – female. He turned off the TV a few seconds before the front door was opened. Bobby was telling his companion for the night to keep it down, as his mother and little brother were probably asleep.
Little brother, Jack thought and lowered his eyes as Bobby and his date walked up the stairs. Jack remembered fighting back tears as he heard them go to Angel’s room and the door close with a gentle click. It wasn’t long after that that Jack heard gasps and soft moans from the woman. Bobby was surprisingly quiet during the entire act and he heard the bed creaking with the power of their movements.
Jack sat on the sofa, staring at the blank screen of the TV, numb to everything around him. He remained in the same position as the woman squealed in pleasure and the creaking stopped. He remained in the same position, even as the sun came up and the woman began her walk of shame. She froze when she saw the shell-shocked kid sitting on the living room sofa, staring at nothing.
“Hey, Connie,” Bobby whispered as leaned over the banister, catching a glimpse of legs in the living room.
“What kind of home did you say this was?” the woman asked, cocking an eyebrow as Jack had yet to acknowledge anyone. “Do you take care of mentally challenged kids or something?”
Bobby handed the woman her bra, wondering how in the hell she could’ve forgotten it. “Shut up and get the fuck the out.” He shoved her towards the front door, which he unlocked and then almost literally threw her outside, before going to the living room. “Jack?” he called softly and didn’t get a response.
The last time Bobby saw Jack in a state where he didn’t respond was because his father was coming up for parole. He couldn’t think of anything like that happening, especially since Ma would’ve called him at the rink and told him to come straight home after practice.
Bobby crouched down in front of Jack and gazed into his unblinking eyes. “Jack,” he said again, placing a hand on Jack’s knee.
Jack jolted and blinked, looking at his brother. “Oh, Bobby. When did you get here?” he asked and pushed Bobby’s hand off his knee.
“I got home just after midnight. How long were you sittin’ here for, Jackie?”
“What time is it now?” When he was told it just past six, Jack shrugged. “Probably six hours, then.”
Bobby frowned and then glanced over his shoulder when he heard Evelyn coming down the stairs. “Jack, is everythin’ okay? You look pale, man.”
Jack looked over at Evelyn and smiled, standing up and ignoring Bobby. “Morning, Mom. I’ll get the coffee going,” he said and went to the kitchen.
When Jack was in the kitchen, Evelyn glared at Bobby. “What on earth happened?” she demanded in a low whisper. Bobby honestly had no idea. He woke up to find Jack like that. “I’m going to get ready for the day. I suggest you apologize to him for whatever you did and pray he forgives you.”
Bobby had no idea what Ma was talking about. He hadn’t done anything that could hurt Jack that much. He didn’t think that it could be him having a girl over, as Angel had had Sofi over dozens of times. He went into the kitchen and found Jack staring at the cabinets in front of him. He wasn’t twitching or swaying. He was standing as still as a statue carved in marble.
“Jackie, what’s wrong?” Bobby didn’t get a response. He placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder and got the exact same reaction as in the living room. Jack blinked and asked when he got there, before removing the limb that was touching him. Bobby was getting scared now. “Jack, what the fuck happened? Did…Did someone hurt you last night?”
Jack went back to staring at the cabinet, everything dead except the sensation that his heart was shattering repeatedly. He turned his head when Evelyn entered the kitchen and smiled at her, grabbing her mug and pouring coffee into it. He added cream and sugar, just the way she liked it. He placed it on the table and returned to his previous spot, staring at the cabinet.
“Jackie?” she called softly and Jack blinked, turning his head to look at her over his shoulder. “Is everything okay, sunshine?”
“Of course, Mom,” he replied, cogently cheerful. “Everything is…amazing!” He forced a happy smile onto his face and then went back to staring at the cabinet.
Evelyn raised an eyebrow. If that was the game that Jack was going to play, then so be it. “In that case, would you mind telling me what made you decide the cabinet is worth staring at?” she inquired, still in a soft voice.
“Nothing happened,” Jack said with the same fake cheerful tone. “I just find this cabinet very interesting.”
Bobby grabbed a cup of coffee. He met his mother’s eyes, still unsure of what happened. “Jack, I’m sorry.” He was ignored and his eyes widened, looking Evelyn.
Before she could say anything, Jack whispered, “I know. You always are.”
Evelyn narrowed her eyes slightly. She already knew that it was something Bobby had done, but that just sealed it. The problem was getting Jack to admit it to Bobby, before he had to leave for practice. “Jackie, did someone hurt you?” she inquired and stood beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Jack’s eyes crinkled with pain for a second, before he nodded. “Is that person in the room?” The same reaction, unable to lie to his mother. “Did I do something to hurt you?”
Jack turned to her, staring at her with the same wide, blank eyes that he was staring at the cabinet with. “Of course not, Mom!” He gave her a dead smile, before looking around. “I think I’m tired,” he said and collapsed, caught easily by Bobby.
“What on earth did you do, Robert Mercer?” Evelyn demanded as Bobby carried Jack up the stairs to his room.
When he returned to the kitchen, he looked just as confused as Evelyn. “I don’t know! I woke up, went to give some cheap floozy her bra, so she didn’t have an excuse to come back and that’s when I saw Jack.”
“You brought some conquest home?” Evelyn closed her eyes and counted to ten, very slowly. She was not going to lose her temper. “Why would you do that, Bobby?”
“A man gets lonely, Ma. There’s only so much fun he can have with his hand, before it becomes tired, trite and predictable. Do you have any idea how long it takes before jerkin’ off becomes borin’? Quite a while, actually.” Bobby shook his head slightly. “I needed a change and she said we couldn’t go back to her place.”
“You should’ve spoken to me first, Bobby. I could have made sure that Jack went to sleep, so he wouldn’t see you waltzing in here with some…some…whore!”
Bobby’s eyes widened and he stepped back from Evelyn. The only time she used words like that was when she was pissed off. “I didn’t know it would affect him like that! Not telling him his background is a sure way for me to fuck up and hurt him!” He winced as he realized he was yelling at his mother. “I’m sorry, Ma.”
“As you should be.” Evelyn glared in warning, but sighed and sat down. “You’re right, though. You did need to know his background and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Why would you bring some stranger into the house, during summer vacation when you know he stays up and waits for you?”
“Ma, I was drunk and I was horny. If they weren’t eatin’ the rump roast, I probably woulda stuck my dick in that and had my way with it.”
Evelyn closed her eyes, fighting off a smile. Bobby wasn’t good with expressing himself, but he certainly had a way with words. She opened her eyes and saw the regret in her son’s eyes. “I love you, Bobby. But as bright as you are, you just don’t like to think!”
“Ma, I’ll try to make it better after practice. I gotta go.” Bobby downed his coffee and kissed Evelyn on the cheek, running out of the house after grabbing his duffle bag.
oOo
Bobby was true to his word. Every day, after practice, he would try to talk to Jack. Unfortunately, Jack was completely shut off to him. The only time he even acknowledged Bobby’s presence was when he said, “You know I love ya, right?’ Jack would glance at him and Evelyn could see the heartbreak playing over his expressive face every time. Bobby was oblivious to it. Both were completely oblivious to the pain the other was going through, thinking only of being civil for her sake.
So, it came as no surprise to Evelyn when on the first day of school, Jack declined a ride there as he came down the stairs with his backpack and his guitar. When he noticed her looking at it, he said he would need for the band he was going to join in school. She had simply smiled and nodded, trying her hardest to keep her tears back as he stepped over to her and hugged her, kissing her cheek.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too, Jackie,” she said, her voice breaking. Jack stared at her, confusion playing through his eyes at how she knew. He already forgot that she knows her sons and they could never keep anything from her. “Don’t forget your toothbrush, Jackie.”
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Shadow of Blue