Thin Air | By : Daiyu_Amaya Category: Star Wars (All) > Slash - Male/Male Views: 987 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: Do not own Star wars or Star wars clone wars ect, and I do not make any money off of it. |
I shifted as something brought me back to the land of the living, a low drone of voices, they were talking to each other, whispers that had brought me to half-awake, the heat was comfortable and soothing. There was something about their voices that niggled at my sleepy brain, I knew them.
That much I could tell, these were people who I'd met at some point...Who were they? Why were they holding me as if I was a loved one? As if I mattered?
I wouldn't matter to these men, I shouldn't matter to anyone, Anakin had grown into his own, he had Ahsoka now...The only reason I saw him was that we made a good team.
One that was helping win this war. Once that was over, why would anyone need me? I shifted and the voices stopped. Maybe I would remember the sound of their hushed voices and then catch them that way. Unlikely, but it would be quite the reveal of who these men were.
One of them had an arm around my waist, it moved and began to sift through my hair, calming me in an attempt to get me to go back to sleep as the other rubbed circles on my back...
I paused at my door, they could be in my rooms right now, just on the other side of the wall...I reached out with the force and found nothing. No, they weren't waiting for me just on the other side of the wall. I let out a breath that I hadn't even realized that I'd been holding in.
Just attempting to sleep in my rooms was...Difficult these days, I felt jittery and uneasy in my bed, thoughts of the twin heat on either side of me, cocooning me from the outside world. I had grown used to it and every time they didn't attack me and force me to sleep between them had made it nearly impossible to not jump at shadows.
"Sir?"
I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound, I looked up and spotted Rex without his helmet on walking towards me. It wasn't unusual to see Rex in the temple, it was, however, unusual to catch him on this floor. If it had truly been important couldn't he have used his comm to get ahold of me? At least I wouldn't have to try and sleep just yet.
"Yes, Rex? Was there something I could do for you?"
He got a rather strange look in his eyes as if something was happening, behind me? Someone grabbed me around the middle and hauled me into my own rooms, I let out a shout and broke the hold around my waist, turning into a defensive position before I realized what was happening.
Cody. I fell out of my defensive position, this had to be about my stress levels being so high, they could have confronted me in a less startling manner at the least! Then they were moving in concert much like the way they would on the battlefield. Only Cody had a Force inhibitor and was firmly attaching it around my neck.
"What?" I was stunned as Rex pulled off my dark brown robes and the outer tunic from me, my heart beat wildly as the truth came crashing down on me. This time they weren't Binding me sight, voice, and force.
This had been them the whole time, they had accosted him, stripped him of his free will, and for what? So that they would get the peace of mind that he was sleeping!
"Why? Why would you do this to me? I thought I could trust you! I thought we were friends even!"
Both glanced at each other and Rex shook his head. Cody frowned;
"Because we knew no matter how much someone hounds you to sleep you refuse to do so. We only meant for you to get some sleep, not to stress you out as badly as we obviously have been."
This was too much, they had meant good obviously, but to make me sleep the way they had-I'd been stressed that something terrible was going to happen to me. I knew I was stubborn but why couldn't they have left it well alone?
I would have eventually had time to get the sleep I needed and it wasn't like anyone other than the nitpicky healers saw anything wrong with my sleeping habits!
What would they do now that I knew it was them? How would they attack me now, would they, in fact, attack me still?
"We agreed to not blind you, and we knew once you realized it was us you wouldn't shout so we ditched that too. But, we are going to make you go to bed one way or another if we have to."
I couldn't help but flinch away from the bold statement Rex barked out at me, how could he consider this to be behavior fitting of a clone? I knew they had their own customs and beliefs, like the tales of the Sisters of Kamino, a tale I didn't quite understand and didn't know when or how it started. I kind of felt like that was most of their customs, even though I fought alongside them, ate with them bled with them. They were rather squirrely about their culture, I was still an outsider to them.
"I believe it would be better if you gave me time to sort this all out, this is far too...You have no idea what you've been putting me through."
The stress was the least of my worries. They had hurt me in a manner that I didn't realize that I could be hurt in. Had my attachment to these two really have grown that wildly out of control in such a short amount of time? To know that two men that I had grown close with would have chosen to make me powerless against them?
Two simple words tumbled from Cody's mouth, his eyes told of his regretfulness. "Tell us?" I struggled to find the words to convey what all of this had done to me. Why should I share with them when they couldn't be bothered to have shared with me sooner that it had been them accosting me?
"I was frightened, I seriously thought you were going to harm me, I thought I could die. The moment you two put me on my bed and stripped me completely I thought that maybe I was wrong, I wasn't going to die, I was going to be raped."
I shuddered at the memory of terror scrabbling up my throat at the mere thought that they were going to do something to me, that I wouldn't be able to stop them from taking me, from doing all sorts of sexual things to me as I lay bound on my bed waiting for them to hurt me.
They had the decency to look ill as if the thought I could have been terrified in that manner hadn't even crossed their minds. Did that mean that they found it normal to sleep nude? Was this one of those cultural things? I knew that sometimes they would huddle or pile together, for warmth-was it also for comfort? Was that what they had been attempting to do for me?
"No matter the reason for your actions, I can not trust you anymore, how could I ever trust you again after what you've done? I should tell someone what you've done!" I wouldn't, I cared too much about them to sentence them to death that way, and it would be death for them. Attacking a Jedi was against everything they were taught, they would be decommissioned as they put it and then dissected to see what went wrong.
"Will you?" I paused at the sound of Rex's question, he had sounded utterly forlorn, so void of his usual brand of emotion, I deflated. I couldn't let that loom over their heads. Two wrongs did not make a right... “Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.”
They both frowned at the quote, a man by the name of Aldous Huxley had said it at some point and it was true...
"I won't tell anyone, but I can't ignore that you broke my trust. That both of you were willing to do this to me." Cody shifted almost nervously, but he wasn't going to be in trouble-he would have to face the fact that Obi-Wan couldn't trust him but he would live.
"We didn't mean to hurt you or frighten you, we just wanted you to get some sleep." They glanced at each other and made some sort of agreement. Cody slowly, as if not to frighten me moved to take the inhibitor off. I nearly gasped at the raw and powerful feeling of sorrow that both of them were projecting. Watching them on legs that had gone numb leave before allowing myself to collapse at the utter weight of what I'd caught of their emotions.
I shivered, there was no way I was going to be able to sleep tonight, not after having felt all of that. They had hurt me but what hurt more was that I knew I actually managed to hurt them back somehow. Shakely I made my way to my hidden bottle of Corellian Reserve, I didn't drink often but I needed to be numb for a little bit.
Hours must have passed after that, or at least it felt that way. I eyed my tumbler of Corellian Reserve. Hondo had gifted me with it and when I had turned it down, Hondo somehow managed to smuggle it into my berth on the ship I'd been using for the mission.
I had saved the man's life several times during that mission alone. But, that was the first time Hondo really tried to give me anything. It was a nice distraction from what I was currently dealing with but I would have to work out my feelings on what had transpired.
Cody, Rex, they had been the ones to attack me, force me to do things I wouldn't normally. But, why would they react the way they had? How could they have felt sorrow about losing my trust, how could they care about whether or not I get to sleep?
They hadn't hurt me physically and now that I knew it was them I knew they would have never hurt me physically, but to have my trust in them stripped so completely like that was worrying. How would I react on the battlefield if it was either of them guarding my back?
Probably the same as always, because I did trust them with my life, just not...Just not in any other way than to protect me from droids.
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