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Time Retreating	By : Ladykohl Category: Star Wars (All) > General Views: 8224 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Star Wars movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Prologue
- 2-Part 1
- 3-Part 2
- 4-Part 3
- 5-Part 4
- 6-Part 5
- 7-Part 6
- 8-Part 7
- 9-Part 8
- 2
- 3
- 4
Time Retreating
Part 2
"The art of love ... is largely the art of persistence."
-Albert Ellis

The next morning I could almost feel my classmates� eyes burning holes in me from all sides. As I sat down at the large wooden table in the middle of the dining room for the morning meal, it was obvious to me by the hushed snickering, that word had gotten out. I had let a bad dream get the better of me... and at 16 years old I couldn�t tell the difference between what was real and what was not. Honestly - even though the darkness of night had long passed... I was still very unsure of what was real. Twice now I had seen a man named Anakin stand right before me, and twice he had disappeared without a trace. I had so many questions and couldn�t shake the horrible feeling that they would never find their answers.
And there had been very odd and inexplicable things in my dream as well...
I had never seen a Shaak before - except in history class. They had been extinct for quite some time. They weren�t particularly attractive creatures and I had never really thought once about them. Why would I dream of them? And how had I known that Anakin was a jedi? How had I imagined every detail of his face so clearly... when I�d only seen him once? ...
These were the things that would not let my mind rest.
�Are you all right, Pernea?� Eali asked quietly from the seat to my right. �You look like you�ve seen a ghost.� I looked at her and took a long pause before I spoke.
�Maybe I have.�
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Everyone else had gone out to the meadow to see the great waterfall... We had been told that it was one of Naboo�s several ancient marvels and was closed off to the public. Few were allowed to see it... and we were very lucky. I, however, was excluded from the outing for my foolish behavior the night before. I didn�t debate it. I wasn�t too interested in seeing the waterfall. After all, I�d seen it before any of my class mates...
In my dream.
So I walked the halls of the retreat... unsure and alone. Maybe a little frightened. Strange things happened to me here when I was alone, and I found myself holding my breath - waiting for something to jump out at me. Stranger still was the fact that, even though fear had gently nestled it�s way in to my heart... I also felt safe. I don�t know where that feeling came from and I didn�t want to know.
As I looked around, I noticed there was artwork on the walls - which surprised me. No one had seemed to really care about the outside condition of this retreat, but the inside was a different story. There were marble floors throughout... statues that weren�t days away from crashing to the ground. The statues inside were actually in quite good condition. I found myself drawn to one piece more than the rest... a woman. I furrowed my forehead as I slowly approached it. The statue was carved out of a smooth stone - not like the rest... and it was very detailed - down to the flowing curls of the woman�s hair and the Naboo crest on the bottom of her sleeves. At the base of the statue were inscribed the words:
Queen Amidala
Restorer of peace
Queen? I looked in to the woman�s face and noticed the make-up for the first time. Though I couldn�t see what color it might have been, the two dots on her cheek and the uneven lipstick was evident. That was a tradition that hadn�t died. I knew the white powder the queen wore was symbolic of the ghosts of those who had died to protect Naboo. The dots were scars to remind us of their sacrifices. The lip stick was blood. The queen still wore the make-up, heavy garb, and odd shaped hairstyles that the queen thousands of years ago would have. Although... this woman - Queen Amidala... her hair was depicted flowing in rivulets down her back. I realized I knew of her and of her reign... I had never seen pictures of her with her hair down. Odd.
I looked in to the eyes of the statue... then at the contours and heart shape of the face. Upon closer inspection... it could have almost been a statue of--
�You look like her.� Came a voice from behind me. I nearly jumped out of my skin. I spun around not knowing who I would see when I came face to face with the man who I had assumed was the ground�s keeper the night before. My heart raced only for a few moments - the effect of being startled. I let out a short laugh at the look on the man�s face. I must have startled him by the way I turned around. He was older, but not old and his expressions were still clearly defined.
�I�m sorry... I didn�t know anyone was behind me.� The man smiled as though he understood and pat my shoulder.
�Quite all right.� He said as he took a few steps closer to the statue. I turned around and we were standing side by side. He regarded the woman almost reverently for a little while before he spoke again. �Such a sad story.� He said to himself. I creased my forehead and looked at him.
�Story?� He looked at me.
�What?� He laughed. �Oh.� He gestured at the statue. �She was the greatest rule our great planet had ever seen... but the end of her life was very sad.�
�How?� He laughed again.
�I trust you�ve heard the stories of the jedi and the legends surrounding this retreat?�
I nodded. I could not speak at that moment for I knew it was the first time anyone had ever spoken the word �jedi� to me. I had never heard it before... but I had known it in my dream.
�What if I told you the stories were all true?� I swallowed.
�I�d believe you.� I said plainly. �... But I would want to know how you�re so sure.�
The man was silent for a few moments. He looked back at the statue.
�The queen wears the traditional make-up to remind us all to be grateful for what our ancestors have done for us. To be grateful for the time of peace that we live in. Oral tradition serves the same kind of purpose.� I did not understand what he was telling me right away, but I listened to him speak as though I would never hear anything more important. �Stories are passed down so that you don�t forget the pain others had to endure so that you don�t make their same mistakes.�
�What are you saying?� The man looked at me.
�I know her story... because I am her descendant. I am Shay Skywalker.�
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I listened as the man told me a story of love and loss, and of right and wrong. He told me of the force and how the Jedi were able to manipulate it through training and meditation. Anakin Skywalker had been as skilled a jedi as ever existed... but he had fallen in love with the woman that had inspired the statue - a former queen and serving senator. Their love was forbidden and they could not be together... but in spite of everything - they were married here in a secret ceremony. It wasn�t long before she became pregnant... but Anakin had become twisted by the dark side. He betrayed his wife and all the goodness that he�d known and had become a monster. Shay told me of terrible, terrible things... and all I could do was listen. As he spoke - all the things I had dreamed about made more and more sense...
Except for why I had dreamt it.
My mind was spinning from all the information it was receiving. I didn�t know what to make of it - or even what to think. The sadness of it all was nearly overwhelming... in the end the couple�s offspring had brought balance back to the force and helped to destroy the empire, but Padme had been long dead by then. Eventually the jedi dwindled out in to nothing but a few questionable stories. I had learned of the clone wars and the war of the separatists in school... but had not known the jedi�s central involvement in them. I was relearning history and it was disconcerting.
When the man was done speaking - nearly two hours had passed us by... and I was speechless.
�I don�t even know why I told you all this.� He said after a long pause. I looked across at him sitting, with a thoughtful expression on his face, in the arm chair. I sat in the sofa next to the unlit fireplace. We�d moved in to the more comfortable sitting room for the retelling of the story. I had barely noticed.
�Why don�t you tell everyone? Get the story out to the--� He waved his hand as if to dismiss the idea.
�The story is already floating around. People just choose not to believe it. It�s amusing to me that a once great order of skilled men and woman has been reduced to legend.� He paused with a sigh. �Time decays everything, I suppose.� I nodded.
�Has anyone ever...� I didn�t know how to go on. �Is it possible to see someone - as clear as you see me this second... after they�re dead?� The man did not look confused at the question at all.
�Many things are possible through the force. I myself - being a descendant of the greatest jedi who ever lived - have been able to make things happen on a few occasions. With training, I might have been a skilled jedi... but the training no longer exists. But yes, I believe that a person strong with the force could appear after his death.� I let the new information sink in. �It�s true what I said earlier.� I looked him in the eyes - silently asking him what he meant.
�You do look like her. I suppose no one�s ever noticed because most every image of her has her covered in that make-up. I know what she looked like though.� He paused again. �I�ve seen her in my dreams.�
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I lay in bed that night - grateful that no specter from the past had appeared to me during the day... but fearful that I would not escape the night in the same fashion. When we had been told that we would all enjoy the privacy of our own rooms while staying at the retreat - I had been happy to hear it. Now, however, I wished someone - anyone - was in there with me...
A loud whirring noise outside my window startled me... but I quickly realized it was just the sound the wind made when it blew through the trees. I sat up and threw my legs over the side of the bed - unable to sleep. My mind would not rest - and therefor neither would I. I rubbed my eyes, and ran my hands over my hair - suddenly remembering the statue from earlier. It had looked an awful lot like me... our hair even curled in the same way... I shook my head and tried hard not to let myself think of that. Things were confusing enough without having to wonder why I bore such a striking resemblance to an ancient queen whose husband I�d been dreaming about. I took a deep breath and stood up. Wrapping my velvet blue dressing gown around myself I approached the glass doors and looked out as I had done the night before.
I had only been there for two nights...
I leaned in against the cold glass that was a little wet from the condensation, and closed my eyes. Despite all my efforts - Anakin�s handsome face fought it�s way to the surface of my thoughts. The memories of his beautiful blue eyes regarding me so reverently, and the teasing up turned half smile he had given me were almost pleasant. I remembered how badly I had wanted to kiss him and how the feel of his hands on my body had made me feel complete... and something else that I had never really felt before.
Alive.
I opened my eyes - not knowing how long I had been standing there thinking of Anakin... and decided that I had to at least try and get some sleep. I took a deep breath and turned around.
I jumped back a little, and put my hand to my heart. Anakin, wearing only his sleep pants, was standing in front of me - staring at me in silence.
�Anakin... you startled me.� I said. He took my hands. I stepped in to the doors and the knobs dug in to my back.
�Padme... please listen to me.� I tried to pull my hands away, but when Anakin wanted you to stay - you stayed.
�It is late... you should not be in here.� I chided - hoping he would let me go and leave me alone.
�Please... I�m sorry for today. I don�t know what came over me.� Memories of Anakin chasing me through the meadow after I ran away from him rose up to meet my dazed mind. Memories of the things he tried to force me to do followed soon after...
I remembered falling to the ground - and he was behind me in an instant. How he pulled me up using not only his hands but the force as well. I knew it because I felt it. It was all too easy for him. Crashing his lips down on mine, holding me so tightly to him that I could barely breath - he seemed not to care if he hurt me. He was angry and hurt for my rejection of him for the second time. He wanted me, and who was I to tell him he couldn�t have me?
He slid the straps of the dress down my arm and planted bruising kisses over my neck and shoulders... I was tempted to go limp in his arms and let him ravage me forever. It would have been easier than struggling and fighting. It would have been so easy to give in... but when his hand came to kneed roughly at my breast I knew something had to be done. I couldn�t let him degrade me that way.
�Anakin, stop!� I had meant to yell commandingly - but all that had come out was a soft sob. Anakin ceased his pursuits abruptly at the sound... and then he had released me. I backed away many steps before stumbling backwards. Anakin�s pained expression as he hurried toward me was all I needed to know he was desperately sorry for what he had done. He dropped to his knees in front me and I could see the muscles of his neck and jaw working to keep him from crying... but his eyes sparkled from the tears anyway. My heart constricted. I could not bare to see him hurt... even after what had just conspired.
�Are you all right?� He asked worriedly. I could feel the cool tears drying on my face as I swallowed, and nodded. He was silent for a moment. �Padme, I--�
�We should get back to the retreat...� I interrupted his apology. �The skies are darkening. It looks like it might rain.� Anakin stared at me for a short time and then nodded. He stood up and offered his hand to me. I hesitated slightly, but took it. Once we were both standing he helped me on to a near by Shaak. When he was seated in front of me on the animal, I wrapped my arms around his waist and he kicked his boot heel in to it�s side - and we headed back toward the retreat.
We had not spoken of the events that took place at the meadow when we were back... and things had seemed pleasant between us again. He had regaled me with storied of his adventures with Obi-Wan, and couldn�t seem to get his full of what I had been doing for the past ten years... and we both were happy.
But as he stood there in front of me with his hands clutching mine... I knew he was not happy. His face had regained the expression from earlier when he saw me fall. I didn�t understand.
�It is over now... and we can not go back and change it. All we can do is--�
�Forget?� I paused - becoming cautious of where this conversation was leading.
�... Yes.� He was silent as he stared in to my eyes - searching for something. Whatever it was that he was searching for was absent - for his expression turned to frustration.
�I can�t forget it. I can�t... pretend it didn�t happen.� He stepped closer to me, and I had nowhere to go. He leaned down, placing soft kisses on my cheeks and neck. �Can you?� He purred seductively in my ear. I had the feeling that he had not come here tonight attempting to seduce me. I believed he had come here with the sincere intent to apologize for what he had done... but something dark got a hold of Anakin when he was near me. Something that I did not understand. Something that frightened me. I closed my eyes instinctively as Anakin�s lips trailed down to my collar bone - but opened them immediately.
I love you, Padme...
The words came echoing in to my head, but Anakin had not spoken. I jumped slightly in surprise - and I felt him smile against my skin. The feel of his warm lips and tongue massaging every bit of my exposed skin was intoxicating. No man had ever done these things to me before. Life as a politician had left little time for such... personal experiences. For some reason, however, Anakin appeared skilled - as though he had done this many times before. Jealousy racked my body even as Anakin did such wonderful things to it with his mouth. I told myself that this sort of thing was forbidden to a jedi... and that it wasn�t often they were assigned to a young pretty girl in a cornered off section of the galaxy. Of course, he had not done this before...
I willed myself to believe it.
... But there were female jedi, too, weren�t there? They all lived together at the temple in Coruscant. There had probably been plenty of chances for Anakin to practice his... skills.
So lost in my jealous train of thoughts was I, that I barely registered the sound of my dressing gown falling in a pool around my feet or the cool rush of air that accompanied it. Anakin turned his delicious attentions to the newly exposed flesh of my shoulders and upper arms I tilted my head back to allow him better access.
�You want this Padme?...� He whispered.
�Yes.� I breathed out... the word came from my mouth before I had a chance to contemplate it�s meaning. As it turned out, I wouldn�t have a chance to contemplate it afterward either... not a moment after the word had escaped my lips Anakin had lifted me in to his arms and was carrying me to the bed.
I did not protest... and all thoughts of the other women Anakin might have been with were effectively forgotten.
Anakin gently laid me out on the bed and climbed over me slowly. As he lowered himself down to kiss me - holding his weight with his right arm - his free hand roamed over my body. I was tired of struggling with him... and I wanted to lose myself in whatever it was that was happening between us. At that moment, I could no longer deny that I loved him - and my heart cried out in pain. I knew we could never really be together. This could only end in heart break for the both of us.
But I couldn�t stop any more than he could have.
Anakin�s insistent lips conformed with mine and his tongue pleaded for admission in to my mouth. I would not deny him. This kiss was different than the one in the meadow. It was slow and sensual and caused an instant ache between my thighs that I had never really felt before. As Anakin�s roaming hand found it�s way under my night gown - I moaned in to his mouth. He smiled against mine and deepened the kiss. His mouth was so warm and sweet... I marveled at the will it took to break away from him those times before.
He pulled away and stared me in the eyes. His gaze was an intense blue fire that I could not have broke even if I wanted. He smiled seductively at me.
�Do you trust me, milady?� He asked almost mockingly. I could only nod in reply. He pushed himself up and sat at my side. �Take off your night gown.� He commanded in a voice heavy with lust. I only stared at him wanting to do what he asked, but unable to move. I did not understand the feelings that were beginning to take over my body. �Take off your nightgown.� He repeated firmly. I swallowed, and my shaking hands found the hem of the garment that was hiked up to my knees. I slowly began to pull it up, and then stopped. I didn�t know if I could do it... Anakin�s hands found mine, and began to guide them up my body until everything was exposed except my breasts. I heard him take in a breath harshly as my body became visible to him for the first time. He then helped me to slip the nightgown over my head...
I shivered as the cold night air ran over me, and Anakin�s eyes feasted on the sight before him.
�You�re so beautiful.� He whispered, then his eyes met mine. �Not one day went by that I didn�t think of you, Padme.� With that, I pulled his head down so that our mouth�s met again. They had been apart far too long. Our tongues moved in a dance that I had never learned. He broke the kiss and began to trail down my chin, my neck, my chest... until his mouth finally came to rest over one hardened peek of my breast. I moaned and arched in to him as he alternated between sucking and massaging with his beautiful warm tongue.
And then...
�Anakin!... touch me!� I gasped without thinking. Anakin immediately stopped what he was doing to look me in the eyes. His breathing was ragged and his face was dark with need and want.
�Yes, Milady.� He said in a voice that was unsteady... suddenly his hand darted to the place that I had wanted him to be all along. His fingers caressed the most intimate part of my body in such a way that I felt like crying out - the pleasure was so incredible. Never had I known anything like it. He rubbed circles around the swollen apex of my thighs and groaned with every moan that escaped my mouth. The thought that he was enjoying what he was doing only made it feel better.
I could feel something in me begin to contract as Anakin�s fingers continued to worship me and fill me up... and then something inside me exploded in a moment filled with such intense pleasure that I screamed out in to the night...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
�Anakin!� I shot up in my bed - the name I had just screamed still hanging in the air. I looked around abruptly as sweat beaded down my face. My chest moved up and down rapidly as I searched the room for the only person I could ever love. I threw the blankets off me and jumped out of the bed.
�Anakin...� I called out, hoping against hope that I would hear his voice call out to me. .. except it wouldn�t be my name that he would call - but what did that matter now? I called his name again... but it became clear to me that he would not answer. I fell to the ground in tears. It had all been another dream...
And I had fallen in love with a dead man.

_____________________________________________________

Author's end note: Hopefully the change from Pernea to Padme in this chapter was subtle but not confusing. Also, I've never written a "love" scene before and I'd like some feedback on that. I wanted it to be quick and passionate, but I didn't want them to actually have sex. Yet.
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Time Retreating