Adult-FanFiction.org : Movies

River Princess	By : BloodValkyrie Category: 1 through F > Beetlejuice Views: 4287 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Beetlejuice and I don't own Bram Stoker's Dracula. I am making no profit.

Chapter List
- 20
- 21
- 22
Chapter 21
Agreement

Author's Note: I will use some French, and please keep in mind I do not understand French, so there might be problems with my translations. Apologies. Also, I will use the titles of actual video games in some characters' dialogue. I do not own the rights to these games, and I am making no profit at all. More apologies, in case I accidentally break a rule or law by referencing them.

When Beetlejuice heard the knock on his door one early morning, he imagined he knew who it was. He opened that door, and on the other side was a somewhat tired looking Brunhilde. The woman was wearing a frumpy and faded 1940s pink polka dot dress, but the skirt had been cut and hemmed up to her thighs. She was wearing black leggings and masculine biker boots. Her long blood colored hair was hastily bundled up with a white cloth, leaving some random locks to fall out behind her, and that was not a good sign. That mean that despite her tired face, she was prepared to fight with her bare hands if needed.

Beetlejuice knew he didn't look so intimidating in his pajamas, but he didn't care at that moment. He would have made a demand of her right there, but she interrupted his thoughts.

“Where's the camera?” she asked, her voice sounding a little faint.

“You know?” He folded his arms and narrowed his eyes. “It's one of yours, right? That baby of yours who messed with Lydia?”

Brunhilde rubbed her temple. “I don't want a little war, there are far too many big wars for me to fret over.”

“Give me his name.”

“What makes you say it's a 'he,' eh?” Brunhilde pulled a bit of her hair under her cloth wrap.

“A woman wouldn't be so perverted,” insisted Beetlejuice, snapping his fingers. His form was enclosed in magic smoke for only a second, and then he was there again, dressed in his normal nasty striped suit.

“That's sexist and you know it. Women are just as perverse as men.” Brunhilde gave him a little smirk. “I do interesting things to certain people's genitals.”

Beetlejuice simply gawked at her a moment.

Suddenly Brunhilde beamed at him. “I don't feel anything sexual when I do it. I just like doing it.”

No, being the type of creature who could warp reality to alter even a person's biological makeup, Beetlejuice knew he had the potential to do some fucked up surreal shit to people. He just never crossed that line, for morality's sake.

Brunhilde's morality was different from his.

He shook his head to get the thoughts out of his head. “I want this guy's name. Vampire or not, he's dead.”

“Uhm, no. I kind of need this one.”

Beetlejuice's head was starting to turn pink. “For what?!”

She blew air out of her mouth, making a silly sound, and then she shrugged. “I'm not sure.”

A French sounding voice hollered from somewhere outside, and Jacques Lalean, the body building skeleton walked onto Beetlejuice's front lawn. “Mon ami, why are you screaming?” (Mon ami means, my friend) He paused near Brunhilde, admired her graceful form, and said, “Ah, bonjour, jolie femme!” That meant, “Hello, pretty woman!”

Brunhilde pushed her palm to her eye and cheek, a somewhat lazy facepalm. Then she gave the skeleton a little speech. “Je sais que vous n'avez aucune malice dans votre âme, mais je ne veux pas que vous flirtez avec moi. Je déteste quand les gens flirtent avec moi. Si vous flirtez avec moi, je vais utiliser vos os comme un xylophone et d'utiliser votre crâne comme un tambour.”

“What the fuck did she just say?” Beetlejuice asked the skeleton.

Jacque told him, without missing a beat, “She said that she doesn't want me to flirt with her and she'll use my bones like musical instruments.” The more literal translation is, “I know that you have no malice in your soul, but I do not want you to flirt with me. I hate when people flirt with me. If you flirt with me again, I will use your bones as a xylophone and use your skull as a drum.”

“Vous laisserez-vous!” Brunhilde shouted at the skeleton, making a shooing gesture with her hands. Jacques took the obvious hint and left, waving goodbye to Beetlejuice. What she had shouted was, “You will leave now!”

Beetlejuice had enough of this stupidity. “I am fully prepared to dig your heart out and stomp on it!”

“And I am fully prepared to dodge and attack of yours, no matter what form you take.” She put her left palm on her right bicep and raised her right arm a bit, adding a raised middle finger for emphasis. This was the French arm of honor, an obscene gesture that translates as, “fuck you.” The raised middle finger was an optional part of the gesture.

Beetlejuice knew that Brunhilde and her kind were actually immune to his ability to change other people's bodies. He could turn Lydia Deetz into an organic and fleshy lawn mower if he wanted to, but not this woman. He could turn a normal vampire into a fleshy cupcake. He couldn't do that to Brunhilde.

He could still fight her, though.

“Do you really wanna test me?” he asked, his chest puffing out.

“Not today,” she admitted, but her smile was still too damn cheerful. “I don't have the time, but maybe we can try again one day. Sounds like a lovely adventure.”

Beetlejuice felt the steam that literally whistled out of his ears. “Why are you protecting this piece of shit? You don't like it when your babies pull this stuff.”

“What? Do you assume I do not punish my little babies when they do bad things?” Her fingers twitched in an unnatural way. “I am the sort who literally puts salt in wounds, nasty wounds.”

“Well, it's not working!” Beetlejuice stomped his foot so hard his floor cracked.

Brunhilde looked at his floor, and then up at him with that same smile. “How's this, if the girl is harassed again, let me know. If it's one of mine, I'll bring the baby to you and let you have your fun, under my supervision.”

That was when Beetlejuice cooled off a little, his face returning to it's normal color. He knew that Brunhilde was a bitch. He also knew that Brunhilde kept promises. “That Vlad guy, he's one of yours, right?”

Brunhilde nodded, but did not change her expression.

“Never met him, but I think he likes Lydia a lot. You gonna make Lydia one of your babies?”

She shrugged. “Probably.”

Beetlejuice cracked his knuckles and leaned back a bit. “Does he know someone's been messing with Lydia?”

“Yes,” answered Brunhilde.

“Is he pissed?”

“Oh yes, he is quite pissed in general.”

Before the conversation could get any more dangerous, Brunhilde turned around and said, “Well, tell Lydia that she's currently under even more protection.” She laughed a bit as she walked off. “I can't believe all the help I'm giving for someone who's not my baby.”

Later on, Beetlejuice realized that it was a teeny bit odd for Brunhilde to help someone she didn't have power over to such a degree. Mostly, she left mortals to their own problems; the key word is mostly.

As for the possibility of Lydia becoming a vampire, he didn't think that was too bad an idea. At least he wouldn't have to worry too much over her keeling over. Then again, Beetlejuice knew Lydia just might have different ideas about it if she knew.

***

“I saved your ass!” Brunhilde shouted as she stomped into the mansion the next evening. She made a dancing sort of gait as she went around searching for Vlad. She found him sitting at a kitchen table, with a very stylish sort of laptop computer. “Hey, Draky!” She scraped a chair on the floor as she pulled it near him and then sat down. “I saved you from the reality bending monster! Worship me?”

Nodding, looking at the monitor, Vlad replied, “I am grateful, but right now I am winning a game.”

“If you say The Sims 3, I will laugh my head off.” Brunhilde knew he wasn't playing a video game, since she had looked at his monitor, but she wanted to make a joke.

Vlad smiled. “No, it is Amnesia The Dark Descent.”

“Something tells me you would hate that game,” Brunhilde said. “So, what fascinating little thing are you doing?”

That was when Mihai entered the room. “Este tatăl meu face ceva fascinant?” Is my father doing something fascinating?

“I am winning the game,” Vlad said simply. Mihai took a seat next to his father and looked at the monitor. “Another email of yours? What's that attachment?”

Vlad clapped his hands together and looked first at Brunhilde and then at his son, his gray eyes looking sharper than usual. “Am o poveste minunată să-ți spun.” I have a wonderful story to tell you.

“He's proud of himself,” said Brunhilde.

“That means he's done something bad,” Mihai said. “Spune-ne mai mult, tată.” Tell us more, Dad.

Vlad's teeth looked long to Brunhilde when he smiled at that moment; perhaps it was because he was in a particularly naughty mood, and the truculence was peeking through.

“Recent, am vizitat domnișoara Claire Brewster.” Recently, I visited Miss Claire Brewster. “Ea a fost la fel de afectuos și iritant ca ea este în mod normal.” She was as affectionate and irritating as she normally is. “Am observat că au cumpărat bere, și pentru că nu-mi pasă de siguranța ei nu i-am opri din consumul fiecare picătură de bere a putut.” I noticed she had purchased beer, and because I do not care about her safety I did not stop her from consuming every drop of beer she could. “A adormit, și am ajustat hainele ei, astfel că ea ar presupune că ne-am făcut sex.” She fell asleep, and I adjusted her clothing so that she would assume that we had had sex.

“Okay, why?” Brunhilde said with a somewhat confused yet sickened tone.

“To fool the bitch,” Mihai clarified. “He is … what do they say? He is leading her on.”

“Why?” Brunhilde again asked. “What did she do?”

Mihai chuckled and rubbed his hands together in an exaggerated way. “She insulted Lydia and her friends.”

Waving her hand like a ruler of a country, Brunhilde said to Vlad, “Continue.”

With a nod, Vlad said, “Cu ceva timp în urmă, am angajat pe cineva să mă învețe câteva abilități ilegale.” Some time ago, I had hired someone to teach me a few illegal skills. “Am învățat că accesarea computerul ei și adresele de email nu a fost greu pentru mine.” I learned that accessing her computer and her email addresses was not difficult for me. “Am găsit un videoclip. M-am uitat în primele două minute, și a decis să utilizeze adresa ei de e-mail pentru a trimite la adresa mea de e-mail. Acum, vreau să văd video complet.” I found a video. I watched the first two minutes, and decided to use her email address to send it to my email address. Now, I want to see the complete video.

Mihai's slasher smile almost disturbed Brunhilde, almost. “Open it.” His voice was so clear and soft that Brunhild thought he almost sounded sexually aroused.

So, Vlad opened the attachment, and all three watched the video.

Soon, Vlad was smiling and pushing his mouth into the back of his hand. “That taller man is one of the gardeners,” he squeaked out.

Mihai was openly laughing, slapping his leg with his palm. “I wonder who the very short man is. He's adorable!” Brunhilde was not impressed. The concept of an heiress having a threesome with one of her family's gardeners and a dwarf wasn't really a new and fascinating thing to her. So, she mostly yawned and waited for something interesting to happen on the screen.

At one point the gardener went off camera, and when he came back, Mihai pushed his seat a foot away from the monitor. Vlad starting laughing in earnest. Brunhilde sighed. “Humans can be just like dolphins,” she said, “Rapists, no matter the species of their victims.”

“Este ca un măgar?!” Mihai cried out. Is that a donkey?! A twist in his mouth that was like a snarl grew in his mouth.

“Că este un catâr,” corrected Vlad. That is a mule.

Brunhild put her elbow on the table and her cheek on her palm. “Why are you so shocked, Mihai? You know how people are.”

Trembling a little, Mihai said, “I know, but I do not look for this sort of entertainment! It disgusts me!” He covered his ears and closed his eyes, lowering his head. “Că acolo, că era urât.” That right there, that was nasty.

“Poor donkey,” Brunhilde said with an exhale, “probably has no idea what's going on.”

Vlad stopped the video, still looking pleased with himself.

Mihai sighed, seeming to be relieved. “Mulțumesc.” Thank you.

“So, what are your evil plans, Satan?” Brunhilde teased as she gave Vlad an innocent smile.

***
- 20
- 21
- 22
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

River Princess