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Shadow of Blue	By : Auska Category: 1 through F > Four Brothers Views: 1292 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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~Shadow of Blue~

By: Aerys Krystie.

oOo
Age 13
Jack inhaled deeply, calming his nerves as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He was finally getting more than a couple of hours rest a night; it was now like three or four hours. He was looking a lot healthier and for the most part, he was speaking more. Bobby had been right. The more he spoke, the less he stuttered. It only really became noticeable when he was scared or excited.
“Once a Mercer, always a Mercer,” he recited and felt the spark of pride that came with those words. He smirked and nodded, leaving the bathroom and going to the bedroom. He opened the closet and grabbed the hoodie that Jeremiah got him for Christmas last year.
Pulling it on, Jack looked at his tattered backpack. Evelyn had offered to get him a new one, but Jack refused. That backpack had been with him for as long as he could remember. It reminded of where he came from and he couldn’t lose that. He needed to remember how far he’d come while living with Evelyn Mercer and her sons. If he ever forgot anything about himself, he doubted he’d be able to continue living.
If asked about his new found confidence, Jack would say that it had been a long, long uphill struggle. Bobby had him recite the Mercer line every time they were in the same room, which seemed to bring a smile to Evelyn’s face as he lost the stutter with it. Once Bobby left again, Jack found himself doing it every time he thought Bobby would be in the same room as him. He couldn’t explain it, but those words became a mantra for him. He was proud to introduce himself as Jack Mercer.
Before he left the bedroom, he paused and glanced at the bed. He still hadn’t slept in it, which he knew Bobby would ream him out for. However, he still felt safer under the bed, despite growing four inches in the last month. He also knew that Bobby needed somewhere a little more comfortable to sleep.
In all honesty, Jack still sat on the floor in front of the sofa or beside it. He couldn’t really talk to the comfort level of it. He figured it had some appeal, as Angel and Jeremiah would sit there for hours, staring at the idiot box, before something was said and they’d get into a half-hearted fight, grow bored and then rinse and repeat.
His eyes strayed to the bedside chest, where The Cat in the Hat lay. His mind was drawn to Jeremiah, who was working hard in his new job. He had spoken about proposing to Camille soon and wanted to have enough money to move into a house. As it was, he was already getting ready to move out into an apartment not far from the family home.
Jack blinked as he heard Angel’s voice getting louder. He closed his eyes when he heard Sofi. She was a sweet woman, when she wasn’t around Bobby who enjoyed teasing the shit out of her. If Angel and Sofi were shouting it usually meant that Bobby was in the room or was mentioned. That wasn’t going to end well, as Jack was still trying to get used to all the changes happening around him. He wasn’t sure how much longer Angel was going to be staying with them.
He could hear Evelyn trying to calm the situation, since it seemed that Sofi and Angel were heading for one of their weekly break ups. Jeremiah knocked on the door and opened it, asking him if he wanted to go somewhere for lunch while Ma sorted out the mess of Sofi and Angel. Jack nodded, wanting to get away from the shouting so badly.
Jack zipped up his hoodie and followed Jeremiah down the stairs. He was surprised how far he’d come from cowering whenever the shouting took place to just slapping his hands over his ears, trying desperately to block it out. Jeremiah called out that they were heading out to eat and Evelyn told him to drive safe.
Slipping into the passenger seat of Jeremiah’s ‘new’ car, Jack buckled up and stared at the almost cloudless blue sky of summer. He closed his eyes for a moment, just enjoying the company of Jeremiah, since he didn’t really talk much while he was driving. Jack, however, was surprised when Jeremiah drove a fair distance to a McDonald’s restaurant.
Jeremiah parked the car and opened the door, which made Jack cock an eyebrow. He wasn’t expecting to go inside and eat. However, he got the feeling that Jeremiah wanted to talk him about something and Jack couldn’t begin to guess what it was. He followed the older teen into the building and they stood in line. Jeremiah stared at the menu, asking Jack if he knew what he wanted.
Jack nodded and told Jeremiah that he wanted a cheeseburger Happy Meal. Jeremiah’s head snapped to him and he raised an eyebrow, asking if that was all he wanted. Jack nodded again, really only wanting the toy that came with the meal. He was too nervous about the talk he knew was coming to think about eating. Once their order was taken, Jeremiah took them over to an empty booth in the back of the restaurant.
They sat in silence, until their order number was called. Jeremiah got their food and came back in a few moments, handing the small coke to Jack. The youngster sipped the drink, watching the people that were lined up to order. Jeremiah pushed the box over to him and Jack opened it, pulling out the silly figurine that was wrapped in plastic. He saw that it was blue and red and opened it, tilting his head. It looked like some kind of robot, but he wasn’t going to complain.
Jeremiah ate his food slowly, watching as Jack played with the toy and ignored his food. He finally ordered his little brother to eat something and Jack pouted slightly, but pulled out the chips and nibbled on one. Jeremiah shook his head and put down his half eaten burger, wiping his mouth with a napkin. Jack took his time with eating one chip, before Jeremiah finally sighed.
“How are ya doin’, Jackie?” Jeremiah asked, stirring the straw in his drink.
Jack looked up sharply and tilted his head. He thought about the words and shrugged. “Good. You?”
Jeremiah chuckled and nodded. “I can’t complain. Work is goin’ great and so are things with Camille. You seem…happier, even with Angel and Sofi tearin’ into each other.”
Jack gazed at Jeremiah, agreeing completely. Life didn’t seem as bad as it did a couple of years ago, when he first joined the Mercer household. Somehow, without much effort — or so Jack thought, not knowing what a huge undertaking it was for the Mercers’ — Angel, Evelyn and Jeremiah wore down his defenses. It was the longest he’d ever been in a home before that he felt he could calm down and finally come to accept that he was a Mercer.
“It feels…” Jack trailed off and tried to think of the right word to describe how he felt. He was curious as to why Angel, Evelyn and Jeremiah wanted to know how exactly he felt. That seemed to be the flavor of the month. “…Nice.”
Jeremiah smiled, nodded and went back to his meal. Jack shrugged, opening his burger. He took a bite of it and then went back to playing with the toy. Jeremiah finished and sat back, sipping his drink as he watched Jack. He grinned and shook his head, knowing that Jack probably wanted to run around somewhere as he moved around in the booth.
“You finished eatin’?” Jeremiah asked and nodded towards the food that was probably cold. Jack glanced at it and nodded. Jeremiah raised an eyebrow. He knew that Jack was always going to be a skinny kid, as he’d seen him pack away more food than Angel and barely gained a pound. Then there were times that Jack was full after a couple of mouthfuls.
Collecting their rubbish, Jeremiah took it to a bin and slipped the tray into the holder. He beckoned for Jack to follow as he left the restaurant. Jack jogged after Jeremiah and ran around the car as Jeremiah had his first cigarette of the day, after promising Camille he’d quit. Jeremiah just watched as Jack burned off his excess energy, missing the days when he could do that.
Jeremiah finished the cigarette and got into the car. Jack followed suit and buckled up as they drove back home. From the outside they couldn’t hear any shouting and figured that Evelyn was able to settle Angel and Sofi down. Jack and Jeremiah wiped their feet before they entered the house, not surprised to see Evelyn coming out of the kitchen. She smiled warmly at her boys.
“I’m going to the grocery store,” she said and Jack tilted his head. “Did you want to join me, Jackie?”
Jack nodded, while Jeremiah mentioned that Jack was a ball of energy. Evelyn thanked Jeremiah for taking him out of the house and grabbed her car keys. Jack jumped down the front steps and bounced over to the car, not bothering to question why Evelyn needed more groceries, since she had picked up the weeks worth only a few days ago.
The drive to the store wasn’t as quiet as the one with Jeremiah and it wasn’t as long, either. Evelyn loved to play the cassette tape, which was filled with old-time love songs. She always sang along and Jack found he would sway in time with the beat. Evelyn parked and Jack slipped out of the car, running to grab a cart, which he de toured from as he saw that a music shop had opened up beside the store.
Jack stared through the front window, watching as the people milled around. His eyes landed on a blue guitar and he fell in love for the first time in his life. He stepped into the shop and approached the guitar, sliding the toy into his pocket as he reached out to take hold of it. He flinched when someone grabbed his wrist and looked up at a woman with piercings in her lips, dark lipstick and hair that was teased up. She was chewing gum and her dark eyes were made darker with the black eye-shadow and liner she had on.
“What are you doin’ in here, kid?”
“Let go of him,” Evelyn ordered with a level voice.
The woman did as she was told and stepped back. “We had some punk in here, a couple of days ago that decided to break three of our guitars. I wasn’t gonna run the risk of another doin’ that.”
Jack’s eyes widened. How could anyone destroy something to beautiful? While Evelyn assured the woman that Jack was nothing like that, he grabbed hold of the guitar, surprised at how amazing it felt in his hands. He looked at the neck, seeing the bars. He strummed his fingers over the strings and his eyes came to life at the sound.
“Do you know how to play it, kid?” the woman asked as she crouched down, her demeanor changing the instant she saw how happy Jack was.
Jack shook his head, tightening string five and placing his fingers on the neck. He applied the pressure, loving the way the steel string pressed into his tender fingertips. He plucked at the strings, thinking of the last song that was playing in the car. He moved his hand up and down the neck, memorizing the correct sounds and where his fingers were.
Unfortunately, after only a few minutes, Evelyn said that they had to leave. Jack hid his heartbreak as he handed the guitar back to the woman and followed Evelyn out of the shop and into the grocery store. He looked down at his hand, seeing the indents from the strings and smiled. He pulled out his toy and looked into the eyes of the toy, which looked more like headlights than eyes. He nodded at it, deciding that he was going to be a guitar player.
Jack ran up and down the aisles, making sure he could see Evelyn at all times. He knew that Evelyn couldn’t afford the guitar he’d grown attached to and he sure as hell couldn’t. He needed to forget about it for just a short while, especially since the woman in the store would say he needed to have lessons as well, which was another cost.
Evelyn got what she needed and headed for a check out. She petted Jack’s hair, asking if he wanted a haircut. Jack hadn’t thought that much about his hair. It fell into his face, which allowed him to hide away when he was in sight. However, the longer back was getting annoying. He shrugged and nodded, saying that he wanted the back short. Evelyn smiled as she loaded the groceries onto the conveyor belt. She paid and took the bags to the car, with the Jack jogging ahead of her.
After helping Evelyn put the bags in the trunk, Jack cast another longing glance at the music shop. He heaved a sigh and pushed it to the back of his mind, knowing that it wouldn’t happen immediately. He slipped into the passenger seat and watched as the streets moved by. Evelyn pulled into the driveway and parked. Jack grabbed two of the bags and ran into the kitchen through the back door.
Dumping the bags on the counter, Jack looked up and blinked as Bobby sat at the kitchen table. “Hey.”
Bobby looked up from the newspaper and smirked. “Ahh, Cracker Jack! And how’s the youngest Mercer?”
Jack rolled his eyes at the nickname, but secretly, he preferred it over fairy. ‘Good,” he answered and grabbed the groceries for the fridge.
“Bobby,” Evelyn greeted as she entered. “I wasn’t expecting you until tonight.”
Bobby stood and took the bag from Evelyn’s arm, kissing her cheek. “Let’s just say that traffic was good.” Evelyn narrowed her eyes in a mock warning, knowing that the damage was already done. “I’m in one piece,” Bobby defended and started putting away the cans of his favorite soup.
Jack finished putting away the groceries in his bag and ran upstairs, placing his toy on the bedside chest, right beside The Cat in the Hat. He saw his clean clothing stacked neatly on the bed. He grabbed it and put it away into the correct drawers. Despite his appearance seeming messy, Jack loved order. He loved knowing where everything was, which was why he hated it when Bobby left. He had no idea where the oldest Mercer boy would be and once Jeremiah and Angel left…Jack refused to think about it, until it happened.
Evelyn called him down and Jack pulled a tendril of hair over his shoulder, telling it that it was going to die. He ran downstairs and went into the kitchen. Evelyn was standing behind a chair with a pair of scissors in her hand and a towel in the other. Jack sat down and held up his hair as Evelyn set the towel around his shoulder. He felt the comb going through his hair.
“Did you want the top cut, too?”
“Not really. I like it long on the top.”
“Okay.”
Jack kept as still as possible as Evelyn cut his hair. His eyes strayed over to Bobby, who was reading the newspaper with a cup of coffee. He shifted in the chair and was told to stay still. Evelyn worked as quickly as she could, knowing that Jack only sat still when he wanted to. If anyone else wanted him to stand still, he wouldn’t be able to do it. There was a small rebellious streak in him and Evelyn prayed it stayed that small.
After fifteen minutes, Jack was getting antsy. Evelyn was constantly telling him to stay still or she could get his ear. Jack huffed impatiently, wanting her to finish so he could see what it looked like. After what felt like an eternity, Evelyn finally said she was done and pulled the towel off Jack’s shoulders. He stood up and fluffed the hell out of his hair, which was still awesomely long on top. He ran up the stairs and into the bathroom, staring at his reflection.
The dark circles under his eyes looked worse on his pale skin. He looked at his hair and grinned. Evelyn had shortened the sides and kept just the top long. He pulled it down and found that it fell to just under his eyes, instead of past his chin. He wasn’t sure if he liked that, but he did love the way his hair swayed without the split ends making it frizzy. It looked and felt smoother.
Jack grinned, running a hand through his hair and flipping it to the left. He tilted his head, loving the way it fell and moved. He left the bathroom, running down the stairs and back to the kitchen. He hugged Evelyn tightly, not caring that he just scattered his cut hair around the kitchen again. It seemed that Evelyn didn’t mind either, as she said nothing about it and just stood there. It was the first time Jack willingly touched someone.
oOo
With a deep breath, Jack opened the bedroom door and stepped out. He had his backpack on his shoulder, filled with notebooks, textbooks and his lunch. He was going to school for the first time in two years and he wasn’t sure what to expect. Jeremiah told him that school was pretty awesome, except when the teachers had no idea what they were talking about, which happened often. Angel said that it was a great place to meet new people and chicks. Bobby didn’t say a damn thing about school.
Bobby agreed to drop Angel and Jack off, as he had to catch up with some old buddies. Jack inhaled shakily, looking down at his worn shoes. His jeans were ripped at the knees and he wasn’t sure if he’d be allowed to keep on the studded belt and chain. He tugged down on the white tee-shirt he wore under a black denim jacket that appeared in his closet a couple of nights ago.
He went down the stairs, fluffing his hair. Evelyn reminded him that he had to go to the office in order to get his class schedule. Jack nodded and Angel laughed, telling Bobby that he should head in. Evelyn cleared her throat and told Jack not to mention who dropped him off, as the school had a restraining order against Bobby, which made Jack raise an eyebrow.
“How—?”
Bobby shook his head and dropped an arm around Jack’s shoulders, ignoring the way he tensed up. “I’m sure you’ll hear somethin’ about little, ol’ me today. Most of it’ll be bullshit, anyway,” he explained as Angel opened the front door and they left.
Jack climbed into the backseat and buckled up when Bobby told him to do so. Angel and Bobby talked about hockey and other stuff, which ended when Bobby pulled up in front of the high school. Angel wished Jackie a good first day and slipped out of the car. Heading for the middle school, Jack tried to keep his racing heart calm. It wasn’t working.
Bobby pulled up to the curb and turned in his seat. “Here you are, fairy.”
Jack stared out the window, watching as the kids milled around before the first bell sounded. He looked at Bobby, unsure of what he was looking for. He assumed it was assurance that he wasn’t going to get the shit kicked out of him or that he wasn’t going to be in a living hell. However, all he got was a smirk and told to get out of the car.
With a nod, Jack slipped out and adjusted his backpack, before he went to close the door. “Cracker Jack,” Bobby called and Jack looked at him. “Just remember that you’re a Mercer now. The teachers ain’t gonna go easy on ya and the kids are gonna wanna take out a Mercer. If anyone gives you shit, you tell me.”
Jack blinked, deciding that he could handle middle school. He didn’t have to run to his big brothers about every little thing. Instead of saying that, he simply nodded and closed the car door.
“Hey, Mercer!” someone shouted and Jack turned around, staring at a middle aged man that was glaring at Bobby. “You aren’t allowed within five hundred yards of this school! Get the hell outta here, before I call the cops.”
Bobby stared at the man and something must’ve entered his eyes, because the man that Jack assumed was a teacher, swallowed and stepped back. Jack wondered what it took to have that kind of effect on people. No one fucked with Angel, Bobby or Jeremiah. The Mercers had some kind of power that Jack needed to get his hands on, so no one would mess with him.
Feeling a little better about what it meant to be a Mercer, Jack squared his shoulders and walked up the path towards the doors. He ignored the way the others stared at him, asking who he was. He hadn’t spent more than five seconds on school ground when he was approached by a woman in her twenties. He blinked at her, keeping his face blank. He hadn’t done anything wrong…yet.
“You must be Jack,” she said and smiled, which faltered slightly when Jack only blinked at her. “Follow me and I’ll take you to the office.”
Jack was going to assume that Evelyn had rung ahead and gotten an old friend to look out for him. He said nothing as he walked a step behind her and into the building. He winced as the shouts, screams and slamming lockers assaulted his ears. He looked at the cheap locks on the lockers and raised an eyebrow. How were those meant to keep anything safe?
He was taken to the office and the woman approached another behind a counter. “I need the class schedule for Jack Mercer,” she said quietly, glancing around.
“Not another one,” the woman behind the counter muttered and looked at Jack. “The study hall has only just stopped smelling of smoke, thanks to Angel Mercer’s visit here. And they still haven’t gotten the frog guts off the ceiling in the science lab from Bobby Mercer.” Jack cocked an eyebrow and tried not to laugh at the idea of Bobby blowing up frogs.
“I don’t think it’s fair to compare Jack to his brothers,” the woman said with a stern voice. The one behind the counter nodded and handed over a sheet of paper. “Thank you.” She turned to Jack and held out the paper. “I’ll take you to your first class.”
Jack looked down at the schedule and saw that he had English first and inhaled deeply, following the woman. The halls were empty, since the second bell rang. Jack made a note of where he was taken, memorizing the path back to the office in case he needed help. He stood outside and waited as the woman knocked on the door and whispered to the teacher quickly about the new student.
The teacher nodded and opened the door. “Good luck, Jack,” the woman said and headed back the way they came.
Jack stepped into the room and raised his chin. “Class, we have a new student,” the teacher said and Jack tried not to roll his eyes. Clearly, he was the new student. “This is…Jack M…Mercer…”
Jack looked at the man that had introduced him and saw him flinch as a memory hit him and touched the back of his head. He had no idea what his brothers had done to this poor man, but it was something terrible for the name Mercer to incite a flinch. He could see that the teacher was seconds from falling into the fetal position, before he cleared his throat and gestured for Jack to sit in one of the vacant desks.
With a slight shrug, Jack did just that. He sat beside a beefy blond haired boy that stared at him. He rolled his shoulders and tried to ignore the prying eyes of his neighbor, while the teacher started going on about their lesson. Jack finally looked at the boy and raised an eyebrow in question. The other ran his eyes judgmentally over him and then sniffed, looking at the teacher.
It was going to be a great day.

The day was actually boring and uneventful, until lunch rolled around. Jack looked over the cafeteria, deciding it was too noisy for his liking. He left the school building and sat at one of the tables that were bolted down outside. He hadn’t even slipped his bag from his shoulder before he heard a pack approaching him from the right. They were whispering and Jack glanced at them.
The beefy blond from English was leading the group. “So, you’re the newest fuck up at the Mercer house, huh?” he asked with a sneer.
“And you’re a spineless piece of shit,” Jack said quietly, slipping his backpack from his shoulder.
“What the fuck did you just say to me, you little bitch?” the boy demanded, slamming his hand on the table.
“I said, ‘you’re a spineless piece of shit,’ because you can’t confront me without a gang to back you up. Grow a set of balls before you lose what little you do have.” Jack fought to keep his hands steady as he unzipped the bag. He had no idea how he was keeping his voice so calm when he scared. He was terrified of what this kid and his gang was going to do to him.
The kid’s eyes widened and his nostrils flared with anger. Jack tensed as he got ready for the punch, which happened a few seconds later as the gang kept telling him they were going to make him pay for what he said. Jack slipped under the table and rolled out from under the bench. He glared at the kid that would attack him while he was sitting down. He doubted the kid would ever understand how cowardly that was.
The problem was Jack knew he was grossly outnumbered. The group seemed to catch onto his thinking as they jumped him as a mob. He gritted his teeth as they kicked and punched him. He covered his head, refusing to cry out as he felt the blows hitting him. Two of them grabbed his arms and forced them behind his back as the beefy blond stood in front of him, smirking as though he’d won some kind of battle.
“Bobby put my big brother in hospital and that’s exactly where I’m gonna send you!”
Jack winced as his face was assaulted. He could feel blood flowing from his nose. His eye was swelling and his cheek and jaw were throbbing. His lip was split and the inside of his cheek split on his teeth. However, the beat down only lasted a few minutes as the kid was out of shape. While he stood back, panting heavily, Jack spat the blood out of his mouth and kicked the kid in the groin, which brought him down to his knees, holding his junk.
With narrowed eyes, Jack kicked the kid across the side of the head and sent the other side into the bench. He heard the gang curse and released him, thinking they were scared of him. Unfortunately, the English teacher had come outside and found Jack standing over an unconscious body. The man sighed and muttered something about the Mercers’ being the same.
Thankfully, when he saw the state of Jack, he sent him to the nurse’s office. Jack nodded and head back inside, after grabbing his backpack. He didn’t bother to find the nurse’s office and instead found the nearest male bathroom. He stepped inside and took a deep breath, looking at his reflection and flinched. He looked like he was mauled by an animal. He raised his shirt and saw that bruises were already forming on his torso. He dropped the cloth and grabbed a handful of tissue paper from a stall and cleaned up his face as much as he could. He was going to be in so much trouble with Evelyn.

When the final bell rang, Jack grabbed his backpack and walked out of the classroom. He hadn’t been able to concentrate on the lesson, which was algebra. He waited for the others to file out of the room, before he trailed after them. He went with the flow out of the building and saw Bobby’s car waiting in the car park. Suddenly, Jack was missing his extra long fringe.
He moved to the side of the doors, not sure if he wanted to get in the same car as Bobby while he looked the way he did. He couldn’t go one day without getting the shit kicked out of him. Somehow, from that distance, Bobby seemed to recognize him as he got out and waved him over. Jack inhaled and exhaled shakily, heading down the steps and towards the car, keeping his head down.
“Hey, Cracker Jack! How was your first day of school?” Bobby asked as Jack slipped into the backseat and sat behind the driver’s seat.
“Fine,” he mumbled, bringing a knee to his chest so he could rest his forehead on it.
“Anyone give you—?”
“No.”
Bobby arched a brow as he slipped into the car. He started the engine and glanced at Jack through the side mirror. “So, you didn’t send a kid to the hospital today?” he asked as he pulled out and onto the street.
Jack winced, which made his face hurt more than it already did. He brought the other knee to his chest, closing his eyes and trying to calm down. He knew that Evelyn was going to be disappointed and angry with him. He was nothing but a thug. He didn’t need to send the kid to the hospital and could’ve stopped at the kick to the groin. But for that split moment before he decided on the second kick, Jack didn’t feel so helpless. He didn’t need his brothers to fight for him.
The drive didn’t last nearly as long as Jack thought it would. He didn’t want to face Evelyn. He didn’t want to see the disappointment in her usually warm eyes. Bobby turned off the car and got out, bringing his seat forward. He unbuckled Jack and pulled out, forcing his head up. His eyes widened for a split second, before they narrowed and darkened with anger.
Bobby slammed his car door and dragged Jack into the kitchen through the back door. He sat Jack down at the table and ran upstairs. He returned a minute later with the first aid box in his hand. Jack flinched as Bobby dabbed antiseptic cream onto the cut on his lip.
“The kid you sent to the hospital… Did he do this?”
Jack lowered his eyes as Bobby opened a bottle of witch hazel. “Yeah,” he breathed, wrapping his arms around his abdomen. He didn’t want Bobby going to jail if he discovered that others were involved.
Bobby dampened a cotton ball with the witch hazel and gently worked it into the bruising around the eye. He sat back after a moment, gazing at Jack with an indifferent gaze. His face suddenly broke into a somewhat proud and sadistic grin and he ruffled Jack’s hair. “You’re a fuckin’ Mercer, all right.”
Jack just stared at Bobby, wondering if he could some answers to the questions he had. “Did Angel really burn down the study hall?”
Bobby smirked. “He followed in my footsteps. I burnt that fucker down twice, before they finally had me expelled.” He shrugged and wet another cotton ball with the witch hazel. “Take off your shirt and jacket.”
Jack shook his head and went to stand, only to have Bobby’s strong hand on his shoulder, forcing him to stay seated. Bobby once again reminded him that they all had scars. He showed Jack the long slice down his left arm, which he received when some fucker ran over his arm in his skates during a game. Jack gazed at Bobby’s bicep, marveling at the muscle definition, but also at the scar that most definitely wasn’t from hockey.
“Did you get that while playing hockey?”
Bobby looked at the bullet scar and chuckled. “Actually, yeah, I did. It was a pick up game and some fucker decided to settle an old score while I was distracted. Thankfully, Jerry saw him and managed to push me out of the way.” He shrugged. “You’re turn, Cracker Jack.”
Swallowing thickly, Jack removed the jacket and then hesitantly pulled the tee-shirt off. He heard Bobby growl as he saw the bruises. He jumped when he felt the cotton ball on his skin. Bobby kept his head down as he worked the witch hazel into Jack’s damaged skin, until he came across a set of scars that looked similar to something he had on his back.
“Are those electrical scars?” he asked, not surprised when Jack jumped up and pulled his shirt back on. “Take this and finish your front. Did the cowardly fuckers get your back?”
Jack shook his head as he took the bottle of witch hazel and went up to the bedroom. He closed the door and sat beside the bed, hanging his head. He couldn’t believe that Bobby would ask about the scars. Why would he want to bring up those memories, after Jack had finally managed to suppress most of them? He sighed quietly when his door was opened. Bobby threw the bag of cotton balls onto the bed and closed the door again.
Shaking his head and forcing those memories back, Jack stood and removed his shirt. He patted the bruises down with the witch hazel and pulled his shirt back on. He capped the bottle and went down to the kitchen, putting it back into the first aid box, along with the bag of cotton balls. He rolled his shoulders and knew the bruises on them would make sleeping a bitch.
He jumped when something screeched across the table and looked at the slip of ibuprofen. He frowned and looked around, seeing Bobby walking down the hallway. Jack turned his eyes back to the tablets and shook his head. He’d never needed painkillers before and he wasn’t about to start taking them now. He heard Evelyn’s car pull up and hastily closed the box, taking it back to the bathroom. He knew she would want to know about his first day.
“Jack Mercer, you get back down here,” Evelyn stated and Jack froze at the top of the stairs.
Closing his eyes and knitting his brows, Jack inhaled deeply. He opened his eyes and turned around slowly, keeping his head down. He didn’t want Evelyn to see how fucked up he looked and make a fuss about him. He walked down the stairs, but she forced his head up and her eyes widened slightly when she saw the cuts and bruises. He saw Bobby standing in the entrance to the living room.
“Oh, Jackie,” Evelyn breathed and hugged him, which made Jack wince as the bruises were touched. She held for a long moment and then stepped back. “Did you really send him to the hospital?” When Jack nodded, she shook her head with a small, unreadable smile. “You’re a Mercer, all right.”
oOo
The beefy blond kid was out of school for a week and a half, which worked well for Jack. He really didn’t want to deal with that punk. The bruises were healing and he could mostly open his eye. He sat in class, staring at the front blankly; trying to figure out what had him so anxious. He couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching him, despite looking around and seeing no one.
Jack rubbed the nape of his neck and wrote down what was needed for his essay on Shakespeare. He would do that over the weekend, as he hadn’t made any friends and that also kind of worked for him. He really didn’t want to know anyone else and his brothers were the only friends he needed.
The bell rang and Jack groaned, wanting to go home and curl up. He packed away his books and hoisted his backpack onto his shoulder, following the streams of kids rushing to get home and start the weekend. The moment he was out the doors, a strong hand grabbed him and threw him down the stairs. Jack moaned quietly and knew that his ribs were bruised. He looked through the faces, trying to figure out who’d be stupid enough to do that.
He saw the beefy kid and a taller, identical version of him walking down the stairs. “That’s the bitch that went for the cheap shot,” the kid said to his older brother.
Jack glared and tried to get to his feet, only to be kicked across the jaw that kept him down. “All right, you little faggot. This is what happens when you mess with the Grahams.”
The air left Jack’s lungs as he kicked savagely in the stomach. The older brother stomped on his back with everything behind him and Jack groaned. He awaited the next blow, but it never came. Instead, he heard a hush fall over the crowd that had gathered around him and his attackers. He looked up and saw that the Graham gang had brought four friends as a back up.
“Bobby Mercer,” the older brother scoffed with a cocky smile. “What could you do against all of us?”
“Oh, we’re gonna show y’all what happens when y’all mess with a Mercer,” Jeremiah said as he stood beside Bobby, which forced the Graham gang to take a step back.
“You fuck with one Mercer, you fuck with all the Mercers,” Angel stated from Bobby’s other side. The Graham gang backed up ran for their lives. The Mercers’ didn’t care about them. None of them had laid a hand on Jack.
“Three on one? You find that fair, Bobby?”
“A grown ass man on one scrawny kid? You find that fair, Bucky?” Bobby shot back and punched the guy in the mouth before he could answer. The punch was strong enough to take Buck down to his ass. However, Bobby didn’t stop there. “Guess I better send your dumb ass back to the ICU, huh?”
Jack’s eyes widened as he saw Bobby’s shoulders moving like a piston as he punched Buck. The beefy kid watched as his older brother was beaten, tears rolling down his face at the savagery displayed before him. When Bobby was finished breaking nearly every bone in Buck’s face, he looked up at the kid brother. Something made him scream and lose control of his bladder, before he ran away from the scene.
Jeremiah turned to Jack and noticed he still hadn’t moved. “Can you stand?”
Jack nodded and forced back the pain from his abdomen and back, climbing to his feet. He was gonna walk away from that mess as a proud Mercer. Bobby turned to him and Jack couldn’t stop his eyes widening as he saw blood splattered all over Bobby’s hands, face and clothing. He knew he shouldn’t, but Jack looked at Buck and saw that his face was minced meat, at best. If he was still alive, it would be a miracle.
Sirens were making their way towards the school, which Angel and Jeremiah took as the cue to head for the car. Jack followed as quickly as his damaged ribs and spine would allow. He managed to slip into the backseat beside Angel just as the cops and ambulance showed up. Somehow, it was never said who beat Buck Graham to a pulp in front of that particular middle school. The cops showed up and questioned Bobby, Angel and Jeremiah, but they simply shrugged and gave each other an alibi.
Jack watched from the stairs, his ribs still aching from the tumble and the kick. Bobby looked over at him and winked. Once a Mercer, always a Mercer, Jack thought and smiled.
oOo
Age 14
During summer break was when Jack felt his life starting to go to hell again. Bobby had disappeared for nine months, missing Thanksgiving and Christmas for a job. However, the first week of June, Bobby was back. The temperature was staying relatively low, which Jack enjoyed. He preferred the cold over the heat, as it seemed much more romantic to him.
Jack was coming down the stairs when Bobby walked through the front door, calling out a greeting on a brisk Saturday morning. The temperature had gone as high as 68, which apparently was enough for Bobby to wear a sleeveless shirt. Jack froze when he saw Bobby. He knew that Bobby was fit — Angel and Jeremiah were, too — but for some reason, Jack couldn’t stop staring at Bobby.
Feeling his little brother’s eyes on him, Bobby looked up and smirked. “Mornin’, fairy,” he greeted and dropped his duffle bag, holding his arms out to the side. “What, no hug for your big brother?”
Jack shook his head and jumped over the banister. He landed on the table there, making sure he didn’t knock over one of the pictures on display and stepped off it, going to the kitchen. He kissed Evelyn on the cheek, grabbing a mug of coffee. Evelyn wasn’t pleased to have him drinking coffee, but she preferred that over him doing drugs or drinking alcohol.
“Good morning, Jackie,” Evelyn greeted as her eyes stayed on the file she was reading. “I’ll have to go into work today. I shouldn’t be gone more than a couple of hours.”
“Yep,” Jack said as he glanced at the newspaper and picked at his waffles.
“Oh, Bobby,” Evelyn said as Bobby entered the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. “It’s good to have you home again.” She kissed his cheek and closed the file. “There’s still some batter left, if you want to have waffles.”
“Thanks, Ma.”
Jack stared at Bobby’s back, between his shoulders. He knew that Angel and Bobby had tattoos, but he’d never seen Bobby’s before. Somehow, it didn’t seem that surprising that Bobby had ‘No Mercy’ written there. He blinked when Evelyn waved a hand in front of his eyes. Jack blushed and ducked his head, muttering a farewell to her as she picked up her keys and bag.
The moment the front door closed, Jack lowered his head to keep his eyes on something that wasn’t Bobby. “So, you don’t even greet your brothers anymore?” Bobby demanded and Jack sighed softly. “I thought you fairies were meant to be chipper and always happy to see family?”
“Give it a rest, man,” Jack said as he picked up his coffee and headed into the living room. He turned on the television and rolled his eyes when Bobby stood in front of it. Jack kept his anger down. “What?”
“Since when did you become so bitchy?” Bobby’s eyebrows went up in feigned concern. “Is it that time of month for you?”
“Jesus Christ! You walked through the door like three minutes ago and you’re already laying into me?” Jack shook his head and sat in front of the sofa, placing the mug on the table. “Let me wake up first, man.”
“No,” Bobby said rather petulantly.
“Well, then move so I can at least see the screen.”
Bobby frowned, but didn’t move. “You okay, fairy?”
Jack groaned and stood up. “I was.” He went up to the bedroom and sat at the desk that was in there. He placed the headphones over his ears and turned up the volume on the song that was playing.
As he stared down at the song he’d written, Jack gripped his fringe. He knew he was being too harsh on Bobby, considering he hadn’t done anything to him, except greet him in his usual manner. However, the nickname was starting to grate on Jack’s last nerve. He looked down at the floorboards near the bed, seeing the glitter that was still there. It kinda was his fault, since he hadn’t slept in the bed.
Turning down the volume, Jack rested the headphones around his neck and stood up. He placed a hand on the bed and snatched it back. He closed his eyes and sighed. Being on the bed made it easier for them to get him and he couldn’t risk it. He opened his eyes, placing the headphones on his desk and going to the closet. He pulled on a hoodie and grabbed his shoes. He pulled them on and headed down the stairs, not surprised to see that Bobby was on the sofa, sprawled out as though he hadn’t left.
“Where’re you goin’, Jackie?” Bobby called, trying to feign disinterest.
“Out.”
Bobby dropped a hand on Jack’s shoulder, which made him jump. He hadn’t heard Bobby even move. “Where?”
Jack rolled his eyes and shrugged the hand off his shoulder. “To the park, so I can—”
“Meet up with your boyfriend?” Bobby finished with a smirk.
Jack narrowed his eyes. “And how do you know about that?” he asked and mimicked Bobby’s smirk. “Had a few late night hook ups with men yourself?”
“Damn,” Bobby drawled and stepped back, placing a hand over his heart and pretending to be hurt. “You finally brought your claws out there, kitty! But I’ve always known your people are sassy.”
Jack turned to Bobby and stood in front. He blinked when he realized that he didn’t have to look up to him. In fact, he had to look down a little. He mentally shook his head and stepped back, deciding he didn’t need to be that close to him anyway. “I’m just goin’ to the park, man.”
“I’ll come with ya, then.”
“Why are you determined to punish me? What did I do to piss you off?”
“You’re the one that’s gotten pissy with me, fairy. I wanna know why. So, I’m gonna follow you around and around, until you tell me why you’re so angry with me.” Bobby headed for the door, pausing when Jack didn’t move. “C’mon, I’ll even hunt down the ball I had…at some stage in my life, so we can play catch.”
Jack felt defeated. Bobby was going to hang around like a bad smell, regardless of what he did or said. He unzipped his hoodie and headed up to the bedroom, slamming the door. From the bottom of the stairs, he heard Bobby telling him to get his hormones under control. Jack slid down the door and tried to understand why he was so angry with Bobby.
Nothing had changed. Bobby was being Bobby. Jack put it down to having nine months of peace and quiet, as Angel wasn’t all that interested in stirring Jack up and he was spending more and more time out of the house. Jack knew that eventually, it would be just him and Evelyn in the house. Maybe he was tired of Bobby always leaving. But every time he returned, it was as though he never left.
Maybe it had something to do with the fact that… Jack closed his eyes and shook his head. He couldn’t think of his oldest brother like that. So, why was he? The idea of Bobby — strong, protective and loyal — was amazing, but the reality didn’t quite match the fantasy. And Jack was angrier that it came out of nowhere, the sudden attraction. He didn’t know Bobby nearly as well as Angel and Jeremiah, but they were off the table, anyway. Jerry was already looking at rings for Camille.
He put it down to the fact that he was likely going through puberty. He didn’t know what he wanted in a partner, so he was going to what was familiar with him. Bobby might not have been a constant in his life, but held the same characteristics as Angel and Jeremiah. They weren’t nearly as hot-headed as Bobby, though, which was a good thing. They were able to think some things through calmly, unless it came to protecting their home or family. Then all of them were wild animals.
Jack cried out as the door opened forcefully and swept him along the floor. “The fuck, Bobby?” he demanded as he stood up and rubbed his lower back.
Bobby walked in and sat on the bed, holding out a cup of coffee. Jack sighed and took the peace offering. “I was wonderin’ if you were ready to talk about your mood swings.” He took a sip from his mug and watched Jack intently; looking for any sign of stress or abuse.
Jack shrugged and sat in front of the tallboy, stretching his ever growing legs out in front. “I don’t know,” he admitted and tilted his head back for a moment. When he leveled it, he saw the same soft expression in Bobby’s eyes that lasted a moment. “I’m sorry that I snapped at you.”
“You call that snapping, you little fairy?” Bobby snorted and shook his head, downing the last of his coffee. “That wasn’t snapping. Not even close.” He looked over his shoulder and saw that there was dust on the bed covers. “You still aren’t sleeping in the bed?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s safer under it,” Jack said and closed his eyes. He hadn’t meant to say that. He chanced a glance at Bobby, scared by the fact that Bobby’s expression was blank.
“You still don’t feel safe here?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Jack mumbled and stared down at his coffee.
“Well, too fucking bad, Jack!” Bobby shouted and even though Jack was expecting it, he couldn’t stop the flinch. “Have we ever hurt you?”
“That isn’t—”
“Have we ever hit you?” Bobby slammed his mug on the desk and got on a knee in front of Jack, glaring into his eyes. His eyes softened slightly when he saw the fear in his little brother’s baby blues. “We love you, Jack. Why don’t you feel safe? If it isn’t us, then what is it?”
Jack looked down, gazing at the dark liquid in the mug. He winced as Bobby placed a hand on his shoulder. It wasn’t harsh, but it was warm and comforting. It was the kind of soothing hand he wanted to feel from every male in his life, but the ones before the Mercer’s weren’t like that. He swallowed the lump in his throat, refusing to cry in front of Bobby. He hadn’t shed a tear since he arrived there and he was going to keep it that way.
“You can’t keep it bottled up. We’re here for you, fairy.”
Jack nodded slowly and felt Bobby’s hand leave. The secure presence of his oldest brother moved away and Jack glanced up, watching as he moved to the door. “I don’t want you to hate me,” he whispered when Bobby was out of the room and dropped his gaze again.
oOo
The summer seemed to drag on and Jack was begging for it to end. He wanted the distraction of school, since Bobby had decided to hang around longer than Jack thought he would. The temperature was climbing to the high seventies and Bobby seemed to looking for excuses to walk around shirtless, which kept Jack confined to his room. He wasn’t interested in seeing Bobby’s body.
Jack was sketching out Angel and Jeremiah on a scrap piece of paper when someone knocked on his door. He quickly hid the paper and called out for the person to enter. Evelyn asked if he was hungry and Jack shook his head. That would mean going downstairs and he wasn’t ready to face Bobby.
He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked into the concerned eyes of Evelyn. “What’s wrong, Jackie?” she asked quietly and sat on the bed.
Jack half smiled and shook his head, turning back to the papers scattered on his desk. Most had scraps of lyrics written on them and others had doodles of people from school, but mostly of the family. Evelyn waited around for a few minutes, before she asked something that made Jack frown.
“Did you want to talk to Bobby? He’s helped Angel and Jeremiah through a lot of problems.”
Jack was about to say ‘fuck no,’ until he realized who he was talking to and decided to see if Bobby was the right kind of person to talk to. “What kind of problems did he help them with?”
Evelyn smiled kindly. “Both Angel and Jeremiah got extra moody while going through puberty. They were angry about what happened to them; scared it would happen again. Bobby reminded them that they were home and that they are safe.” She paused a moment and glanced at the door, lowering her voice. “They didn’t go through what you did, but they felt exactly what you’re feeling right now, Jackie. Talk to your big brother. He might help.”
Jack hunched his shoulders, trying to make himself as small as possible. He kept forgetting that even Bobby had gone through hell. “What if he hates me?”
Evelyn smiled sadly, finally seeing the real reason why Jack kept everything inside. “He’ll never hate you, Jackie. None of us ever would.”
Jack nodded and Evelyn patted his shoulder, leaving the room. He turned his chair before Evelyn closed the door. “Mom,” he said and saw her look up sharply, tears entering her eyes. He smiled. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Jackie,” she whispered, her voice cracking. She walked back into the room and hugged him. “You’re home.”
Evelyn released him, wiping her eyes and cheeks. She left the room, closing the door and Jack turned back to the sketch he was doing of Angel and Jeremiah. He stayed like that, until he realized something was different. He felt different. He felt lighter and realized that a weight had been lifted off him. He looked up and stared out the window.
Three years it took him to realize that he had a family. He referred to Angel, Bobby and Jerry as his brothers, but he never felt like a member of the family until the moment he called Evelyn mom. He winced and fought back the tears as his emotions started to take a serious turn. He sighed and sat back, closing his eyes and tilting his head back. Maybe not that he felt he was part of the family, he would stop seeing Bobby as…whatever he was beginning to see him as.
Biting his lower lip, Jack opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. He stood up and headed down stairs. He found Bobby in the kitchen. He looked around. “Where’s Mom?”
Bobby spat out his water and coughed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He stared at Jack, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. “You plannin’ on runnin’ away?”
Jack stepped back. Oddly enough, that idea had never entered his mind. “No!”
Bobby stood up and slowly approached Jack, his eyes still suspicious. Without warning, he wrapped his arms around Jack’s shoulders and pulled him close. Jack tensed, waiting to feel a gun pressing against his abdomen or something of the likes. However, as Bobby hugged him, Jack finally understood what it was. Bobby was just letting him know that he was there for him and he was glad he finally accepted being part of the family.
Jack pulled back and kept his head lowered, hoping to hide the tears. “What’s wrong, Jack?”
Shaking his head, Jack turned and went back to his bedroom. He closed the door and looked at his bed. The need to lay on it and hug the pillow was almost overwhelming, except Jack shoved it to the side and went into the closet. He closed the door and sat in the furthest end, knees to his chest and letting the tears fall from his eyes, trying to get his shit under control.
He sighed shortly when Bobby opened the closet door he was beside. He accepted the tissue box and wiped his nose. “Ma said she’s never heard or seen you cry.” Bobby sat beside him and Jack pursed his lips, trying to keep the tears back. “Ya know, we were all emotional teens at one stage. There’s no point in bottlin’ it up, Jack. You’ve clearly been doin’ that for a while now.”
Jack nodded, flashing back to when he was seven and crying after his recent beating for leaving a sock on the floor of the bedroom. The father of the house had taunted him, reminding him of how weak he truly was because he couldn’t handle a little pain. The stupid thing was that Jack agreed with him. He knew he was a weak, pathetic excuse of a human. He was beaten unconscious because he wouldn’t stop crying and he winced, wondering why that particular memory had come forth.
“I’m s-sorry,” Jack muttered and wiped his eyes, deciding he’d cried enough.
Bobby’s head snapped towards him, watching as he tried to stop crying. “Don’t you ever apologize for what happened to you, Jack,” he ordered and pulled Jack’s head onto his shoulder. “I’ve never forced anyone to tell me what happened, but—”
“Can we drop it? I get it; you’re here for me if I need ya, man.” Jack sat up and cleared his throat. He knew there were still more tears that wanted to fall, but he’d been weak enough. It was time to toughen up.
Bobby nodded and relaxed his shoulders slightly. “Jerry and Angel are comin’ home for dinner,” he said. He added with a sly glance, “And there’s somethin’ I wanna ask ya.”
“I just asked you to—”
“It isn’t it about your past, Jack,” Bobby cut in and wiped away a stray tear. “Just remember what I said. Bottlin’ all that bad shit up inside is a sure way to get cancer, man.” He ruffled Jack’s hair and stood up.
Jack stood as well. He followed Bobby out of the closet; going to question if that was true when he smacked his forehead on the top runner of the closet. He hissed and rubbed the spot, ducking his head and turning to glare at the closet. After all the love he’d shown it and it thanked him that way? He shook his head and pushed Bobby playfully as he laughed.
Bobby and Jack left the bedroom just as Jeremiah walked in. He saw them at the top of the stairs and smiled, shouting out a greeting to Evelyn. She called back and Jack had to wonder when she got back. He was almost certain that he wasn’t in the closet that long. With that line of thought, he looked at Bobby as he walked down the stairs and hugged Jerry briefly, asking how things were going with Camille and if he was ever going to meet her.
Angel and Sofi were next through the door. For once in their drama-riddled relationship, they seemed to be happy with each other. “Jackie-poo! Get down here and hug your big brother!” Angel demanded and held his arms out.
Jack glanced at Sofi, silently asking for her permission. She smiled and nodded, walking down the hallway to the kitchen. Jack hugged Angel tightly, really missing him being around the house. “It’s good to see ya, man,” he said and patted Angel’s back.
“How you been, little brother?” Angel held Jack at the shoulders and searched his eyes. He frowned. “You look…alive.”
Jack smiled and shrugged, deciding it would be a surprise for Angel and Jeremiah. Angel cocked an eyebrow and ruffled his hair, slinging an arm around his neck and dragging him into the kitchen. He released Jack so he could kiss Evelyn’s cheek, while Bobby opened a bottle of beer. Jeremiah and Sofi spoke, while Bobby physically restrained himself from making any digs at Sofi.
In order to keep the peace, Bobby went to the living room and Jack sat on a chair in the kitchen. He pulled a foot onto the seat and rested his chin on it, listening to conversations around him. He’d done that in the past, but that time felt different. Even though no one was talking to him, Jack knew they were all aware of his presence, even Sofi. She turned to him suddenly and asked him if he was looking forward to high school.
Jack shrugged, unsure on how to answer that. In all honesty, he was a little curious to see what damage his brothers had done to that building. He wanted to know if the Mercer name would hold any water, as Angel would be graduating that year. It would then fall to Jack to keep up the Mercer tradition of apparently burning down study halls, blowing up frogs, pulling the fire alarm, super-gluing a coach to his chair, turning down the water pressure and showing up the teachers as morons. Jack knew he had some big shoes to fill and he knew he wouldn’t.
“Of course he is, baby,” Angel answered for Jack and wrapped his arms around Sofi’s waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. “He’s gonna raze a little Mercer hell there. Maybe send another kid to the hospital.”
Bobby had come back through to throw out his empty bottle when he heard that. “Yeah, that reminds me, Cracker Jack. How’d you do that?”
“Two kicks,” Jack replied with a shrug and smirked when he saw the way everyone stared at him. Even Evelyn had paused in the dinner prep to stare at her youngest son. “What?”
“That’s a record,” Angel, Bobby, Evelyn and Jeremiah stated. “Shit,” Bobby continued as he rinsed out the bottle and dropped it into the recycling box. “I don’t think we’re ever gonna be that awesome.”
“Not a chance in hell,” Jeremiah agreed solemnly.
“Bobby Mercer,” Evelyn said as she returned to her prep. “You put those thoughts out of your head right this instant.”
Once again, Jack wanted to know what kind of wizard Evelyn was. Bobby had his back to her and she still knew exactly what he was thinking. It seemed that telepathy ran in the family as Bobby seemed to know what his brothers were thinking at any given time, as well.
“Jackie?” Evelyn asked and looked over her shoulder when she didn’t get a response. Jack almost looked asleep at the table. “Jack?”
Jack blinked and raised his head off his knee. “Sorry, Mom. Did you need something?” He fought back a grin as Angel, Jeremiah and Sofi stared at him in shock, along with pride that he was finally one of them.
“Can you mix the loaf for me? I need to get the vegetables prepared.”
“Of course,” Jack said and jumped to his feet. He wished his hands and began mixing the meatloaf. Once it was thoroughly combined, he tipped it into a loaf tin, added the ketchup and threw it into the oven. He washed his hands again, glancing at Jeremiah as he felt his brother staring at him. “Somethin’ wrong, Jerry?”
“Nah, man. Never thought you’d be into cookin’, is all. I thought Bobby was the only one interested in that.”
Bobby grabbed a piece of carrot and flicked it at Jeremiah. “Someone has to know how to cook when Ma’s out. Even though your ‘pizzas’ are awesome, Angel.”
Angel nodded in acknowledgment. “I should hope so! They cost a small fortune!”
Jack grabbed a knife and helped Evelyn with the vegetables. “So, you don’t actually cook them or make them?”
“Who’s got time for that, Jackie-poo?”
Jack thought about Angel’s life and realized that he probably didn’t have the time to make the dough and then piece together the pizza. “Yeah, that’s true.” He was quiet for a moment and then glanced back at Angel slyly. “Still, it wouldn’t kill ya to try.”
“Shut up, little brother,” Angel said without thinking and everyone waited with baited breath. How was Jack going to react to someone telling him to shut up?
Jack was kind of tired of them walking around on eggshells. “I’m a Mercer, Angel. That ain’t ever gonna happen.”
Bobby laughed. “Ahh, Cracker Jack,” he sighed and lightly punched Jack’s shoulder. “Ya know, the easiest way to burn down—”
“Bobby,” Evelyn warned as she turned to face her eldest son. “You’re still young enough to be put across my knee, mister.”
As Bobby tried to defend his actions, Jeremiah and Angel laughed at the idea of Bobby being spanked and Sofi just watched, Jack had to question why he never felt at home there. They fought, argued and beat the shit out of anyone that so much as looked at them crooked, but there was such strong love, loyalty and devotion as well. All of them would die for each other and Jack knew he would happily take a bullet for his brothers.
oOo
“Okay, so you sent a kid to the hospital with two kicks,” Bobby said as Jack with his back to the sofa, knees to his chest and staring at the television. “How?”
Jack sighed and closed his eyes. There was a week left of summer break and Bobby hadn’t let go of the fact that Jack had set a Mercer record. In all honesty, Jack was trying to understand it. He figured that Bobby would’ve sent at least one kid to the hospital with just a glare. Jack was trying to figure out how he went from a scared boy on his first day to someone that didn’t want his brothers to fight for him.
“It was luck,” Jack said with a shrug. He kept his head back, but opened his eyes and looked at Bobby. He frowned when he saw that soft expression on his face. “Why do you look at me like that?”
“Like what?” Bobby asked, a crease of perplexity forming between his eyebrows.
Jack moved to kneel by the sofa, the same crease appearing on his brow. “You don’t even know you’re doing it?” he inquired and tilted his head.
“I wasn’t lookin’ at ya any differently,” Bobby defended and cocked an eyebrow as a smirk slid onto his face. “Why, is there some way you want me lookin’ at ya? I don’t know how to tell ya this, but you ain’t my type, Jackie.”
Unable to stop it, Jack’s mouth fell open and his eyes widened. He had no idea how Bobby did that to him, but he quickly turned his back to the sofa and pulled his knees to his chest again. “No,” he mumbled and fought off the blush that was creeping onto his cheeks. “I don’t think you’re my type, either.”
Bobby sat up and muted the television. “What was that?”
“I said that you look at me with like…pity or something,” Jack said and his eyes widened slightly. That’s what the expression. Bobby pitied him.
“Jack,” Bobby started as he placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “You’re my baby brother. I know you had a bad start in life, of course I’m gonna pity ya, man. I was the same way with Angel and Jerry.”
His hand shaking a little, Jack placed it over Bobby’s and squeezed it. “I don’t want to be pitied, Bobby,” he whispered so softly that Bobby almost didn’t hear it, as he basically spoke to his thighs. Jack sighed and raised his head, thinking about what Bobby said. He turned his head a little. “Who was there to offer you pity?”
“Ma was. She held me when the nightmares had me wakin’ up and screamin’.” Bobby went to pull his hand back, until he realized that Jack had actually touched him without coercion. “But I’ve always been a very external person. If you don’t tell us how bad things get, we can’t help ya, Jackie. You keep everythin’ inside. It doesn’t hurt to release the pressure a little, from time to time.”
“I opened up to someone once. They used it against me.” Jack flinched at the memory; the night he lost his virginity.
“Whatever you tell me stays with me, Jack. You’re a Mercer fairy; we don’t go behind each other’s backs, unless Ma needs to be involved.” Bobby squeezed his shoulder and felt Jack’s grip on his hand tighten. He kept in a sigh when he heard Angel, Jeremiah and Evelyn enter the kitchen from the back.
“Can I tell you something?” Jack asked softly, seemingly unaware that the other three were listening in.
“Of course you can, Jack,” Bobby answered and tried to warn the others away, but they seemed intent on hearing what Jack had to say.
“All that homophobic shit is really startin’ to make you sound super gay,” Jack said and patted Bobby’s hand, before he stood and headed into the kitchen as Angel and Jeremiah laughed at the stunned expression on Bobby’s face. In the dining room, Jack turned back to Bobby and smirked. “If I had a mic, this is where I’d drop it, bitch.”
Bobby blinked, coming out of his stupor at being called a bitch. “Jackie, run,” Evelyn warned with a laugh.
Jack laughed as he ran past Evelyn, Jeremiah and Angel, Bobby hot on his heels. He made it to his bedroom door, before he felt Bobby’s strong arm around his waist, picking him up. However, he knew that Bobby couldn’t be as rough on him as he was on Angel and Jeremiah.
Instead, Jack was dumped on his bed and held down with one hand as the other tickled his sides without mercy. Jack cried out, screeching with laughter as he tried to squirm away from the vicious hand. He was finally given a reprise, but that was just so Bobby could straddle his thighs and attack him with both hands, which gave Jack the opportunity to try and stop the stronger hands.
The attacked stopped suddenly and Bobby pressed his forehead to Jack’s, gazing into his eyes. “Remember this, Jackie,” he whispered, closing his eyes. For a stupid moment, Jack believed that Bobby was going to kiss him. Bobby opened his eyes and pulled back slightly, pressing two fingers to Jack’s forehead. “You are allowed to be happy, Cracker Jack.”
Jack stared up at Bobby, before he turned his eyes to the closet. “I don’t think I’ll ever truly happy,” he said as his eyes flickered back to his brother. “Life is gonna suck balls, at some point.”
“You’re not wrong, Jackie. But you have us now and we’ll always find a way of makin’ life better.” Bobby smirked, leaned down and licked Jack’s cheek. He pulled back and frowned. “Fuck! You even taste like a fruit!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Jack muttered with heavy sarcasm and pointlessly pushed at Bobby’s chest. “I love you, too,” he added with a roll of his eyes.
“I should fuckin’ hope so! I’m your big brother, after all!”
oOo
“Let’s go, sweetheart!” Bobby shouted as he pounded on Jack’s door.
“I’m up!” Jack called back and stared at the three pair of black jeans he had laid on his bed, trying to find the right pair for his first day as a high school freshman.
“You’re gonna be late, sunshine!” Bobby said and Jack’s hand moved over the jeans. “Just pick one, for fuck sake!”
Jack heard Evelyn scolding Bobby for his tone and language. In all honesty, he was just toying with Bobby. He pulled on the middle set and did up the button and flier. He slipped the belt through the loops and shoved his feet into his shoes. He grabbed his denim jacket and left his room, pausing at the top of the stairs to muss up his hair a little and then descended.
“Stop preenin’,” Bobby muttered and opened the front door. Once they were driving, Bobby glanced at Jack. “Just remember that if anything happens, you go to Angel.”
“Do you think something would happen on the first day?”
“It happened last year and I get the feelin’ you’ve got that kinda luck,” Bobby said as he slowed for a red light.
Jack pulled a foot onto the seat and rested his chin on his knee, gazing out the windshield. “I’ll try to behave,” he murmured. “I don’t want Mom worrying.”
Bobby nodded and accelerated more than needed when the light changed. “Good. Follow in Jerry’s footsteps, if ya can.”
Jack turned his head, resting his cheek on his knee as he gazed at Bobby. He honestly never thought he’d hear those words from Bobby. He figured Bobby would want all the Mercer boys to be hellions. As if reading his mind, Bobby scoffed and shook his head as he pulled up in front of the high school.
Without meaning to, Jack asked, “Are you leaving again?”
Bobby glanced at his little brother sharply and raised an eyebrow, but nodded slowly. “I gotta go where the work is, Jackie. If I’m lucky, I’ll get picked up a hockey team right here.” He grinned and Jack straightened.
“I’m gonna miss ya, Bobby.”
“I know you will, you little fairy. I’ll be leaving the number of the hotel I’ll be staying at,” Bobby said and stared at the kids in front of the building. “If you need to talk to me about anything, you just call, okay?”
Jack nodded and swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. He’d grown accustomed to having Bobby around. Hell, during the last few nights, he’d grown accustomed to having Bobby asleep above him, as he refused to sleep anywhere except under the bed. It started to become comforting to know that Bobby was there to keep him safe.
He reached across and hugged Bobby, knowing that he would be gone by the time school finished. Bobby patted his back and pushed him off gently. “Jerry’ll be here at four to pick you up. I better not get a call before I leave about you puttin’ another kid in the hospital.”
“Would you prefer I sent him to morgue?” Jack asked as he grabbed his backpack and opened the door. He went to slip out, but paused. “How long will you be gone for?”
Bobby shrugged and tilted his head back. “I have no idea, Jackie. Now, go. The bell’s about to ring.” As Jack turned to close the door, Bobby called out to him. When he saw Jack’s curious eyes, he smirked. “Once a Mercer—”
“Always a Mercer,” Jack finished and grinned.
“I love ya, man. And be good. If I have to take time off to come down here and kick your ass, I will.”
Jack’s grin widened as he closed the door and waved Bobby off. Knowing that Bobby wouldn’t be waiting for him back home, Jack felt some of the excitement of his first day wear off. He made his way into the school and looked at the schedule that was mailed out to him. He looked at his homeroom number and sighed quietly, weaving through the bodies.
As he walked the hallways, he kept an eye out for the bulletin board, to see if there was anything decent happening around the school. It seemed that they were getting ready to put on some kind of fall dance and Jack got the strong feeling that he wouldn’t be allowed within five hundred yards of it, considering he’s a Mercer. That thought made him smile as he found his homeroom. He checked his locker number and then checked the locks on them and rolled his eyes. A five year old could crack that, he thought.
Jack yawned as he waited for the bell to ring, leaning against the wall beside the door. He looked around at the other groups that were hanging around. He saw a co-ed group that was glancing at him, as though trying to decide if they should approach him. One of the girls was about to approach him, until he heard his name being called and he looked down the hallway. He saw Angel making his way towards him.
“Ah, you found it okay, then?” Jack nodded and saw the fear that entered the eyes of the group.
Once again, being a Mercer seemed to carry a lot of weight in the schools. He doubted his teachers would be pleased to see they had another in their class. He looked up at Angel and smiled sleepily, wanting to go back to bed and sleep. Bobby leaving seemed drain him and he had no idea why. He still had Jeremiah and Angel around to keep him safe.
“I’m sure Bobby already told ya, but if anything happens, you tell me right away. I made a copy of my schedule. I don’t care when it happens, you get me. Okay?” Angel glared at Jack until he nodded again and took the paper that was offered. “Have a good day, Jack-poo.” He ruffled Jack’s hair and headed back to his homeroom as the bell rang.
Jack opened the paper and looked at the classes that Angel had. He frowned when he saw USMC written in upper right corner, along with an address. He had no idea what Angel was thinking and he hadn’t even mentioned joining the military. Jack knew that Angel would be leaving shortly, but the idea of him leaving to go to war made his chest feel tight. However, he knew that he had to respect Angel’s decision.
The door opened and Jack folded the schedule again. He entered the room first and slipped into a desk at the front. He didn’t care where he was, mostly because he suddenly found school to be nothing but a drain. As the group that was watching him moved by, he heard them mentioning that he was a Mercer, like it was a disease. He glared over his shoulder at them and they quickly shut up. He really should’ve learned the easiest way to burn down the study hall.

Jack managed to almost make it through math, before he found that he couldn’t focus on anything. He slouched in his desk, staring at his notebook, which he was sketching on. He looked up when he heard his name and gazed at the teacher blankly. The woman raised her eyebrows expectantly and Jack blinked in response. She sighed and muttered something under her breath about the Mercers’ all being the same.
“Oh, drop dead, you hag,” Jack snapped her, which silenced the class.
Bright scarlet appeared on the woman’s cheekbones as her eyes blazed with fury. “What did you just say, Mister Mercer?” she demanded, hands on her hips.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were hard of hearing.” Jack cleared his throat. “I said: drop dead, you hag,” he basically shouted and stood up, collecting his notebook.
“No class in any of you,” the teacher spat contemptuously. “Clearly, someone failed you in your childhood.”
Jack’s eyes raged and he literally lunged at the fifty year old woman. He didn’t give a shit about genders. She was implying that Evelyn had raised nothing but common criminals or the scum of the earth. They could say whatever they wanted about him, but Evelyn was a goddamn saint.
Before he could make contact with her, someone was restraining him. Jack struggled to get at her, but he was dragged out of the room. He was dragged, kicking and cursing to the principal’s office, where he was thrown into a chair and the man sat behind the desk, glaring at Jack. He picked up the phone and dialed the Mercer home phone number.
The anger drained out of Jack as he realized that Bobby would have to pick him up. “Ah, Bobby! I’d never forget your voice, son. It’s Principal Headley. I have your younger brother in here with me. I’m afraid he’s been suspended for threatening a teacher with death and attempting to attack a teacher. Yes. No, not Angel. Jack.” The man held the phone away from his ear and Jack could hear Bobby bellowing ‘Jack, what the fuck?!’ “O-Okay. Yes, thank you. He’ll be waiting outside for you to pick him up.”
The principal hung up and quickly wrote out the suspension notice, handing it to Jack. “You aren’t to step foot on this property for two weeks,” he explained as he handed the note over. He stood up and gestured for Jack to walk with him. “I’ll be waiting with you outside, just in case you feel like burning something.”
Jack stood up. He was completely drained that he couldn’t even flinch when the principal took hold of his arm and led him out of the school. They stood on the sidewalk, waiting for Bobby to show up. Jack mentioned his backpack and the principal said that he would give it to Angel at the end of the day and he could bring it home. Jack thanked him and went back to staring at the cracks.
He heard Bobby’s car approaching faster than what was probably legal and he closed his eyes, hunkering down in his jacket as much as possible. The principal didn’t release him until Bobby was standing in front of Jack and taken hold of him. The principal explained the terms of his suspension and Bobby cocked an eyebrow.
“I was suspended enough to remember the rules, old man. Maybe you should retire, before your memory goes completely.”
The principal sighed jadedly. “Always a pleasure, Bobby.” He nodded at the oldest Mercer and headed back into the school.
Bobby pulled Jack over to the car and opened the passenger door. None-too-gently, he shoved Jack into the car and went to the driver side. Jack kept his head turned away from Bobby, sensing the sheer rage that he was feeling towards his younger brother. Jack knew that Bobby would tell Evelyn and he would have to see that disappointed crease on her brow and the hard set mouth.
“What…the actual fuck, Jack?!” Bobby demanded as he sped through a yellow light. “Is there anythin’ between your ears? Did you forget our little conversation not less than an hour ago? Are you tryna break all Mercer records or somethin’?!”
Jack closed his eyes and tried to ignore Bobby shouting at him. He had to hold his hands in his lap to stop himself from covering his ears. He was tired to being weak and he was tired of people thinking they could talk to him however they felt. He also didn’t want to admit that he was losing everyone he cared about. He knew that eventually Evelyn would leave him.
Bobby parked and got out of the car. Jack remained where he was, not sure if he wanted to be behind closed doors with Bobby enraged the way he was. “Get out of the fuckin’ car, Jack or I’ll drag you into the house by your fuckin’ hair,” he seethed and Jack tensed.
Jack got out of the car and followed Bobby into the house through the front door. He hovered awkwardly just past the threshold, keeping his head lowered. He saw that Bobby’s duffle bag was packed and he was probably getting ready to leave when the phone rang.
“Explain. Now.”
Jack flinched and closed his eyes. “It w-was b-boring.” His eyes flew open as the stutter came back.
“Don’t you start lyin’ to me now, Jackie,” Bobby grounded out through clenched teeth. “What the fuck could a teacher possibly do to piss you off in first period?”
“Sh-She…” Jack gritted his teeth, thinking about what the woman said and felt his rage spark again. “She basically said that Mom was a useless caregiver!” he finally said and raised his head to glare at Bobby. “What the fuck did you expect me to do, smile and ask for another fucking does of it?!”
Bobby growled and his hands became fists. “And what were you doing to make her say that?”
“Nothing!”
“Do you mean that literally, Jack?” A shrug was his answer. “And why were you doin’ nothin’, Jack? Huh?”
Jack lowered his head. “It doesn’t matter,” he muttered. “Can I go to my room, now?”
“Not until you tell me why you told your teacher to drop dead!”
“She hated me, Bobby! Just because my name is Mercer, she decided I wasn’t worth anything! And you and Angel—” Jack broke off as a sob slipped out. He closed his eyes and dug his nails into his palms.
“What about me and Angel, Jack?” Bobby demanded, his voice still laced with irritation.
“Nothing,” Jack spat and ran up the stairs. He went to close his door, but Bobby burst through.
“Don’t you think you can get away with that, you little fairy. What about me and Angel?” Bobby demanded again and turned Jack to face him.
Jack pulled back and wrapped his arms around his abdomen. “It doesn’t matter,” he said forcefully, knowing that Bobby wouldn’t drop the subject.
“Clearly, it’s somethin’, since you’re cryin’ like a broken water main!”
Jack sniffed and raised his head. He glared at Bobby through the tears, shaking his fringe out of his eyes. “Leave. Me. Alone,” he stated calmly, which seemed to worry Bobby. “Get out of my room and get out of my life.”
Hurt flashed through Bobby’s eyes for a split second, but it was quickly replaced with anger. “If that’s what you want, fine. It sure seems like you’re strong enough to take on the fuckin’ world.”
The tears dried up the moment he saw the hurt, but Jack knew he had to stand his ground. “Maybe if y’all didn’t treat me like I was made of fucking crystal, I would be!”
“Oh, so now it’s our fault that you’re a scared, little boy?”
Jack flinched and turned away. He knew that he would have to back down. If he continued to blame them, he would push them away for good and that wasn’t something he could afford. He had to remain close to Evelyn and Jeremiah, since they would be last remaining family he had. He couldn’t lose them, as well. It was bad enough he was losing Bobby—and Angel.
“No,” he finally said softly and sat down on the floor, pressing his back to the bed. “It would never be your fault.”
Bobby nodded and sat down beside Jack, finding that he was more receptive instead of defensive. “I know, Jackie. But you need to tell me what’s gotten you so scared.”
“I don’t know,” he said and felt Bobby’s disbelieving eyes on him. “I know you left the number I can reach you at, but…what if you’re with someone?” Jack tried not to think about it, feeling the surge of jealousy at just the idea of it. “I can’t cut into your…you time.”
Bobby inhaled deeply and wrapped an arm around Jack’s shoulders, pulling him closer. “Jackie, I was the best man at my best friend’s wedding, when Angel called for me at the hotel the reception was being held in. Just before my speech, I heard my little brother scared. I went up to the stage, told them that my family needed me and left. I was on the next flight out. Anyone that gets involved with me is told straight up that my family comes first. If they have a problem with that, then they aren’t worth our time.”
Jack dropped his head to his knees, closing his eyes at the mention of Angel. The speech was beautiful and it made him feel better knowing that Bobby cared about them all that much, but he was reminded that Angel would be leaving them as well. He was going to be the only kid in the house, unless Evelyn brought home cases and he couldn’t be a big brother—not yet.
“I just…Why can’t we stay together?”
“What do you mean, Jackie? You’ve got Angel and Ma in the house.”
“Angel is joining the military.”
“What?”
Jack nodded. “I saw his scribble on his schedule. I think he’s serious about, because there was an address. I don’t know when he’s leaving, but…”
Realization settled in Bobby and he tightened his arm around Jack. “We always come back home, at some point, Jackie. And you’ll still have Ma.” He saw the pain in Jack’s eyes. “Hey, Ma will never abandon you.”
Jack looked at Bobby. “But you are.”
“I wish I didn’t have to, Jackie. I really wish I could stay here forever with you, Ma, Jerry and Angel, but I can’t. I’m too old to be moochin’ off Ma.” Bobby stared at the tallboy, his expression blank. “Besides, you had me for three months.”
Jack nodded before he rested his chin on his knees, feeling drained and empty. “Do you really have to leave?”
“If there was somethin’ closer to home, I’d take it. And until Angel joins the military, you’ll have him.” Bobby leaned back and checked the clock on the bedside chest. “And I—”
“Please stay until Angel gets home?”
Bobby was about to refuse, but when he saw the neediness and desperation in Jack’s eyes; he found he couldn’t refuse him. He could always check in with the foreman tomorrow, as he didn’t start for another few days. He nodded and instantly felt Jack relax, as though a great weight was lifted, knowing that his big brother would be there for him.
“I’ll always be there for you, Jack. Someone needs to hold your hand.” He chuckled at the glare that Jack sent him and decided that one more night couldn’t hurt. After all, family would always come first.
oOo
Chapter 2 of 6.
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Shadow of Blue