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I Don't Regret	By : JasminSteele Category: M through R > Predator Views: 3941 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Predator nor do I make any monetary gain from this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter Two
Rituals Rituals
I woke up, spread eagle, and sticky with sweat. It was that all too familiar feeling that I was in a place that I didn’t choose to be on my own.
It was getting light, Boedog still slept soundly next to me, one of his arms touching my side. I was on my stomach trying to get my back to cool off.
Great, just what I need, a day during the day. I sighed and carefully got off of the bed. His room would only get hotter as the day went on and I couldn’t take the heat. Even after being here so long you still can’t take it, you even lived in the south for God’s sake. Groggily I got up to go rinse the salty sweat off, it would only make me feel unclean later.
My feet swung lazily in the pool after I was done bathing, I was trying to figure out what to do for the rest of my day, it was sleeping time for Boedog, and everyone else in our shared home. It was times like that that I never liked.
The door opened and a very tall and very green figure walked in, towel in hand. He was much taller than Boedog and even Thaiden. I had asked about his height at one time and he said he was on the higher end of the minority in height. He still made me feel like I was a midget.
“You’re up late,” I said inquisitively.
“Wanted to see who we would be hunting with,” he replied in his native tongue. He and the others reverted back to it every once in a while to make sure I remembered how to translate it, which was nice. It made me feel a little bad that they accommodated me so much but at the same time I was very grateful for it. Boedog and Thaiden did it partly because it was their job but they didn't have to do it.
Tox was large, even by normal standards as per his explanation, standing a full head above his Elder, which was even taller than Boedog. He always made it a point to not let his height scare me or make me wary in any way and he was very good at it. For me it was a bit strange that he was so considerate. I had read many a time just how his people were 'supposed' to be and the group I was with were nothing like the others. If I had encountered any other Yautja I would have been dead or wishing that I was.
“We are too few in number to go hunting on our own, Elder Thaiden has arranged for us to join another clan.” He stripped down naked and made his way into the water, his long hair weighted down by his decorative beads. Being naked wasn't taboo in his culture and thankfully I didn't mind. I was sitting naked on the side of the pool, trying to decide what I was going to do for the day.
“You still get the Setg'in Thwei mark?” I asked curiously. I really didn’t know what they were hunting or what the details were, I made it a point to Boedog that I’d rather not know, so I wouldn’t worry. I also made it a point to not read about it, even though there as plenty to read.
Growing ever softer, I see, I teased myself as I watched the giant bathe. I knew he didn’t mind and he knew I wasn’t interested. If anything my idly staring at him went completely unnoticed. It was nice that little things like that were ignored or just not cared about. Over the years I had tried to hold to my human customs and standards but most of them just didn't apply anymore, as I found out when I fell for Boedog.
Tox had found out in the most ungraceful way about Boedog and I. We were in my room at the time and Thaiden had asked Tox to go see me about something. I usually kept my door unlocked, even when I was in the throws of passion, because I never thought anyone would walk in.
Tox did and he stood stunned for several moments before either of us noticed him. His expressions were…unreadable to me but Boedog knew. He jumped off of me right away and went straight to Tox, purring and crooning. I had never known what he had said, if he had said anything at all.
The green giant ended up leaving without a word and I didn’t see him for the next few days. When I did see him next he felt awkward around me, until he started to ask me questions. I told him the truth; there was nothing else I could do.
“It will be much hotter today than usual, you should stay inside.”
I looked at my friend and nodded. He was just finishing up but I didn’t want him to go, I was going to be alone for a very long time before anyone woke up again.
“You can read about our ritual hunts,” he offered as he toweled off. “The returning ritual, you should be familiar with it so you can greet him when he comes back.”
I nodded numbly and started to move, my body already knowing where to go to find such information: the library.
It was useful for me to name rooms and objects with English terms but, it was just confusing for everyone else in the beginning. The library was the most useful room to me, there I could access just about any kind of information I wanted to, at my leisure, nothing was classified, nothing had to be because I was never going to leave.
The weight of that fact never got any lighter any time I thought about it. Sometimes I regretted walking home that night and sometimes I was grateful. When I regretted it… it was only because I was having a bad day. I was grateful for it most of the time. Thaiden took me off of a complicated and messy world, politics, taxes…it was all a mess. Humans had gotten themselves buried up to their necks in shit with no brains or common sense to get out and that was what I was grateful for. When I regretted it…I had thought that I knew what I wanted to do in life but it was a trick. I had wanted to become an English teacher…then I realized that I really didn’t want to be teaching snotty, disrespectful brats. There were too few nice kids, like myself, and too many arrogant assholes, men and women alike.
I always came to that conclusion and felt only a little better after feeling regretful.
The lights were dim in the library so I turned them up. I wasn’t nocturnal like my friends were, I needed light to see, good light, I didn’t have the advantage of infrared vision. That made it hard for me to use their technology in the beginning. Text was always red in color and it always hurt my eyes against the dark screen. It was so the text showed up as heat signatures against a cold background but I just couldn’t get used to it. Boedog ended up making a few adjustments to change the color for me altogether; it was a pleasant blue as I turned the screen on. The light change didn’t hinder anyone else from reading the screen, the heat signature was the same and I had asked him why they didn’t use different colors for text, he told me that they wouldn’t know the difference.
I sighed as I sat back and gently tapped a few symbols on the console. It was set up like a directory and I could search for any subject I wanted to. Taking Tox's advice I looked up the returning ritual for a successful hunt.
They have a ritual for everything, I thought to myself as I scanned over the document in foreign text.
“Upon returning from a successful hunt the new bloods lead the way from their ship, trophies in hand, new scars bare for all to see. They present their best trophy to their clan leader for acceptance and gain the mark of honored warrior.
“If meat has been brought back everyone shares in the feast as a recounting of the hunt is told by each new Young Blood; females are present and may choose a mate that same night if they so choose. The Young Bloods will be open for season and can search out females.”
That last part made my heart still for a few moments before resuming its normal rhythm. I had no idea if Boedog had intended to impress a female when he came back, as far as I knew, I was his mate.
Though you won’t even admit that you love him.
Bitter snickering escaped me as I finished reading the small entry. It ended with part of the mating ritual that a female didn’t need to ask permission to bed a male and she could have as many partners as she wanted.
Part of me feared for Boedog, not because he wouldn’t return, but because he would return victorious. I didn’t know if he’d be taken away from me or if he would leave me. It was something I didn’t want to talk or think about but was stuck with for the two days I had until he woke up to ponder alone. I would have to wait to talk to him about it.
I tried to keep busy on the days everyone slept. Busy hands are happy hands, I reminded myself as I walked to the training room. It wasn't often they slept while I was awake but when they did I was alone for twenty-eight Earth hours. Sometimes their bedtime was in the middle of my day and ended in the middle of the next day. Other times it started in the middle of my bedtime and ended the same time I got up.
Memories threatened to drown me as I neared the padded area used for sparring in the training room. They weren’t unpleasant memories, a few were of the day before, some were of when I first arrived, others were of back home of girls I knew and thought I loved.
I shook my head and started to stretch. I had to stay focused so I wouldn’t lie around all day reminiscing of the last six years, I had successfully avoided doing so for quite some time already and I didn’t want to start again. In the beginning it was all I could do to stay sane, though it was probably more detrimental than living in the moment.
A sigh escaped me as I finished stretching, it was going to be hard to exercise on my own, my thoughts could over take me at any moment and I wouldn’t have anyone to snap me out of it.
Ignoring my brain I went through one of the routines Boedog had shown me. It was a type of Tai Chi, or what I related to Tai Chi. The movements were slow, fluid, and usually helped clear my mind of all thoughts.
This is getting you nowhere, I thought as the memories just wouldn’t go away.
I was just getting back to my girlfriend’s apartment after work; I had had a long day and was looking forward to our date that evening. I did stop by my own apartment, that I didn’t share, and dropped off my work clothes and took a quick shower. I knew she would want to leave right away so she could meet up with her friends. Tonight was a ‘triple date’ night, two other couples were going to go with us to dinner and the movies.
The keys came naturally in my hands and I swung the right one out and put in the in the door knob without a second thought. She knew I was coming over and she told me I didn’t need to knock since I had a key.
A smile played across my lips as I opened the door quietly and shuffled inside. I had a bouquet of yellow tulips behind my back and I wanted to get them into a vase before she saw them. She told me they were her favorite, just like her mom, and I tucked the fact away for a useful day.
I had planned on finally taking her back into her room and make love to her that night. We had been dating for almost a month and I finally felt like we were close enough that we could bare all to each other. That and I didn't want to risk losing her like I had the others.
She was no where in sight and I didn’t hear her so I quietly got a vase down from her top cupboard and filled it with water. I arranged the tulips in it then set it on the coffee table after clearing it off.
I was dressed in her favorite shirt and pants and I knew exactly what I wanted her to wear for the evening, the simple little sundress with her flats and the pair of earrings her mother had given her. It would be the perfect end to the perfect evening when I untied her dress slowly as I prepared to lie her down on her oversized bed…
There was a giggle from her bedroom and I smiled. Must be on the phone, I thought and walked down the hallway that led to her room.
“Hey, Lucy, I thought you could…” my world trailed away as my eyes landed on a scene I never thought I would see, not from her.
A guy I had never met was on top of her, looking back at me in mild horror. Lucy was also shocked and frozen stiff, the expression on her face…I had seen it too many times.
My eye twitched and anger swelled up inside of me. I had never expected that from her, she wasn’t like the other girls I had been with and gone through the same thing with. She was smart, mature; she was even a year older than I was. She had found me, a poor guy given up on relationships for good and convinced me rather quickly that she was worth it.
The guy finally got himself together and moved off her to put the bed in between us. I had gone through the same routine that I knew what he was thinking; he thought I was going to get angry. Thankfully I wasn't a wimpy guy, I was quite average but taller and slightly thicker than most. My size had always scared the bastard that was screwing my girlfriend.
The guy had the right thought that I was angry but it faded quickly. I was so disappointed in Lucy that my anger left just as soon as it came.
“When did you meet her?” I asked the guy. He looked bewildered as he pulled on his pants and boxers together. His shirt was still on and the belt was still in his pants meaning that she did indeed remember I was coming over and she was trying to get a quick fuck in before I did.
“Two days ago,” he said shakily.
I nodded and looked at the ground. Ironically I was thinking that I was glad I hadn’t tried to move in and I had nothing of my own in her apartment, I could just leave the key on the counter and be free.
My heart was in pieces, though.
“Tobias,” she called softly and I looked at her. She had a mildly pained expression on her face, like she didn’t know what to think herself. I just shook my head and turned around.
“Tobias! Wait!” she called after me.
I took my time to carefully take her key off of my key ring so I could wait for her. I wanted to hear the excuse, it was most likely going to be the same thing I had heard before.
She came into the living room in a bathrobe, her hair was slightly out of place from lying on the bed. For a second I imagined it was the next day and she had just woken up from a night of love making, happy, and I had made breakfast for her.
For once I would love to feel that, I thought to myself as she paused and looked at the coffee table then at me.
“We were going on a date tonight,” I said casually. “I was going to bring you back here and finally stay the night with you. Tonight.”
Her mouth opened then closed.
It’s only been a month for God’s sake, I told myself. The other girls waited almost two months before pulling the same shit on me and with Lucy I thought I was nipping it in the bud; I had rushed myself.
“Tobias,” she said pleadingly. “I-”
I held up a hand and cut her off. “I know, I know what you were thinking and…to hell with it.” There was no anger in my voice, how could I be angry? I was hoping against hope that she was going to be different, that she would be my last venture altogether. If things had gone well I would have asked her to move in with me six months later and after another six months of living together, if we were still as cohesive as we had been, I would have proposed to her.
I set her key on the counter and said, “Don’t call me.” I didn’t even look at her as I walked out the door.
Too many times, I thought as I made my way out of her building.
Once I got back to my own apartment, dark and barren, I made sure that nothing of hers was there. She hadn’t come over very often and when I found nothing I sighed in relief.
I sat on my couch and stared at a blank TV set. The sun was setting and light was fading, just as my hope had faded when I saw a strange man on top of the girl I was going to give myself to tonight. From his expression he must not have known she was dating someone else.
If she even thought of you dating, I prodded myself. The same excuse had come from each girl, all four of them. Five now, I thought adding to the mental tally. I had waited ‘so long’ with the other girls they thought that I wasn’t interested, even as we went out to dinner, went to the movies, to the park, taking walks on the romantic side of town. I was bitterly thankful I had only gotten them flowers as gifts and not expensive jewelry or anything else.
You were a gentleman, I argued with myself. I thought those girls would kill for a gentleman, one that drove them everywhere, held the door open for them, and gave them my coat when they were cold.
No, they were eager, sex hungry mindless bitches.
Don’t think that, I told myself, they were all nice girls. And they were. I had tried to vary up the personalities I dated and even through their differences they all turned out to want the same thing: sex.
That was something I didn’t want to give up easily, I was a 'true gentleman' and I wanted to wait until we were both ready. Who knew it would be the guy who wasn’t ready, I thought bitterly. I didn’t want to wait until marriage to have sex, I didn’t want the surprise of either one of us being inadequate then being stuck with each other and deciding on a messy divorce a week later. No, I wanted to make sure we were compatible, not the same but more like two pieces of a puzzle that fit together really well. I wanted to be able to fill in the gaps of her needs, wants, desires, faults and I wanted her to fill mine.
Shit in one hand and wish in the other, see which one gets full faster. My uncle had always said that and it made me laugh. The shit was getting piled pretty high.
I sighed and made my way to what I had dubbed the ‘kitchen’. It wasn’t so much of a kitchen as it was prep area. Meat was butchered there and stored for later use. Fruit was also dried and stored there along with a supply of water.
Boedog had adapted to my needs quickly and easily, he fashioned a sectioned container so that meat, fruit and vegetables could be stored in that one container, all I had to do was grab one and I’d have a complete meal. He also made smaller ‘water skins’ for me and I always grabbed one when I ate.
I did have to tell him that I ate more than three times a Yautjan day, though. It confused him at first that I ate so often but Tox soon clarified as to why: I was a different species, smaller, and I had a higher metabolism. Boedog had felt a little sheepish for not knowing but how could he have known? He studied mechanics and loved to make things, especially clothes and weapons, he had never studied humans before.
I grabbed a container of food and water skin then headed back to the lift. I had found that there was one room in my new home that always stayed much cooler than the rest, the hangar.
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I Don't Regret