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All Of Me	By : StrawberryWine36 Category: -Movies Misc > Het - Male/Female Views: 2033 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Kingsman movie or the characters.This is a work of fiction and I am making no money from this.

Chapter List
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In the weeks that followed, life was yet again a caramel revel. Rafe had treated me to some new shoes (his choice but I was never one to complain about a gift), he also booked me in for a manicure and a beautiful new set of gel nails. I never asked him for a thing, it wasn’t in my nature and besides, if he had been in the wrong sort of mood it would never have had a good outcome! He also usually had a lot more disposable income than me, with most of his ‘work’ being dodgy deals and disappearing off for weeks at a time I realise long ago that it was never a good idea to ask too many questions.
It was a Wednesday that we drove out to Lidl, Lowther did not have any supermarkets so it was a weekly trip out of town. I detested shopping with Rafe, on my own I could plod round in my usual dream world, browsing and thinking on what I needed. With Rafe accompanying me it was more like an army manoeuvre! This occasion was no exception, by the time we got to aisle three he was snapping at me for forgetting the shopping list and by aisle five it was my fault that they did not sell his favourite brand of mayonnaise. At the checkout I stood like a zombie after he snatched the bags, not allowing me to pack. This was no act of chivalry, it was simply that he didn’t trust me to pack as well as he could. I always felt like a prat, or in the way. Each time this happened the checkout lady would glance at me, I know what she was thinking, ‘lazy cow’ or ‘look at how lovely her man is, packing the bags for her!’. Rafe would be his charismatic self of course, charming words with a hint of cheekiness that made the ladies giggle and my eyes roll, if only they knew!
Out at the car he shouted and swore at me each time I passed him the wrong bag. Each one had to be packed correctly and quite often my assumptions on what was heavier were completely wrong. I stood back as he bent over, rearranging yet again.
“What the fuck are you doing? It’s common sense that the bottles need to go over this side!”
“N, not really, I mean, I didn’t think that it mattered...”
“Of course it fucking matters!” He spat, “How stupid are you? This is why you can’t be trusted to go shopping without me. This means yet another thing that I have to be with you for!” He ranted in my face, his eyes and mouth curling into an angry sneer. I stifled a sob in my throat and gripped my wrist tightly, digging my nails into my skin. It hurt but while it was hurting, I couldn’t feel any sting from his words or actions. My lack of reply infuriated him.
“For fucks sake!” He shouted, slamming the boot lid down and shoving me out of the way roughly as he strode past. I stood for a moment looking around to see if anyone had seen or heard, it was at that point out of the corner of my eye I spotted him, my heart gave a flutter as I glimpsed him leaning against the car park sign. Watching me from a distance, I wondered if he was going to come over, he had obviously heard everything. As much as I wanted him to come over, I hoped he wouldn’t, it would only fire up Rafe more and then I would pay for it when we got home. He seemed to know how I felt as when I looked back he was gone. Maybe I had imagined he was there, my head wasn’t all there at the best of times and maybe just maybe Rafe was right that day he said I was losing the plot and needed help. My attention was swiftly grabbed back to reality as I heard an annoyed grunt from the front of the car.
“What the fuck are you doing now?”
“Nothing....nothing.” Sweeping my hair from my face I got back into the driver’s seat. We drove home in silence.
He stormed up the path with every shopping bag loaded ridiculously into his hands trying to prove some sort of point. Smashing the front door open he strode through to the kitchen, throwing the bags roughly to the ground with a clatter. Toby began barking as he always did when I came home.
“Please, just go and sit down, I’ll put the shopping away.” I pleaded as he huffed around the room.
“I want it done properly; just get out of my way.” He replied gruffly
“I was only trying to help.”
“Well you’re not are you?”
“I know, I know, I’ll be better next time, I promise. How about I make us a nice cup of tea.” I said soothingly.
“Don’t fucking bother!” I gasped in pain as he shoved me back hard into the door. I winced as the handle dug painfully into my back. “And shut that fucking dog up before I do it!”
I bent down to pick up Toby who was shaking with fear, he picked up on Rafe’s rages and as always his little eyes were filled with terror. I kissed his head, calming him.
“Sometimes I think you love that thing more than you love me.”
“Oh don’t be so ridiculous,”
“So I’m ridiculous now!” He fumed his eyes raging with anger. I gently dropped Toby to the floor where he instantly began yapping again.
“No, not at all, I didn’t mean to say that. I’m sorry! ” I stuttered as he stepped in close, his face inches from my own and his eyes red with anger. I held my breath waiting for his next move.
“Stop fucking apologising!” he roared, “And shut that fucking dog up!” before I could move he swirled around to pick Toby up by the scruff of his neck, he gave a yelp as Rafe shook him.
“Please Rafe, please just give him to me, I’ll deal with him.” I begged, pulling at his arm. It was killing me seeing my little dog with such fear in his eyes. Rafe was in too much of a rage to even hear me.
“Shut up you little fucker!” He bellowed in Toby’s face before throwing him full force against the wall. I could hear a scream for a minute before I realised it was coming from my own mouth.
“I’m the fucking alpha male in this house, not you, you noisy fucking shit!” He shouted before turning towards the dining room and slamming the door behind him. I knew he had gone in there for a smoke and probably a line or two so I took my chance to rush over to where Toby lay. Ironically he had landed in his little bed, I stroked his head, ran my fingers through his black fur. He was so still, did not respond to my touch. I stifled a sob that broke my heart, dipping my head I let all the tears run silently down over him, silent so that Rafe did not hear and come back out for me.
“I’m sorry...”I whispered. “I’m so so sorry.” I grabbed my bag and ran blindly for the door. Down the path, round the corner and into the local shop. Grabbing a bottle of wine and paying as quickly as I could and making my exit before the puzzled guy at the counter could ask about my red eyes with black streaks down my face. I ran again, I ran because it stopped me crying, not to the cemetery but up towards the downs, up the hilly paths until I reached the top. A vast open space of heathers and gorse. A few horses grazed quietly nearby while I collapsed in a heap on my knees, sobbing my heart out, only pausing to swig back huge mouthfuls of the wine. It was cheap, nameless, I could not even taste it. I dug my nails into my arm, hard enough to draw blood.
A hand softly brushed against my back.
“Shellie...”
Don’t be caring; don’t be nice, it just breaks me even more. I don’t deserve it.
I couldn’t answer, instead I sat up and cried, my head buried into his chest. He did not say another word and just sat with me, his hand lightly on my back and the other buried in my hair. We sat like that for, well, I don’t know how long.
“Shellie, you need to listen to me.”
“No,” I sniffled. “He, he killed my dog Harry, he killed my baby. “ Even saying the words made me sob even more. His jacket felt damp against my face from my hot sticky tears. We sat in silence, he didn’t ask anything of me, did not get angry at me for crying as Rafe always did.
“Shellie, did he hurt you?” He asked eventually, gently lifting my face towards his.
I shook my head, “No, no I’m fine. Well I mean no I’m not fine but physically yes. Mentally I’m a fuck up.”
“Are those your words or his?” Harry frowned.
“Can’t they just lock me up somewhere; all I ever do is upset people or case trouble. It’s my fault Toby died.” I blurted
Harry grabbed me by my shoulders, “No Shellie it is not your fault, did you pick him up with your own hands and do that? No you didn’t so stop taking the blame for other people’s actions.”
“I started it, the argument; you bloody saw it you were there. Why didn’t you come over and do something.”
“And what was I supposed to do Shellie, as I recall you didn’t want me intervene.” He said at last sounding exasperated. He was right; I was such a dick sometimes. I had been there willing him to stay out of it and then when it came to it, I wished he was there.
“I didn’t even know if you were real. My heads screwed up Harry; I don’t know what’s real and what’s not any more. I even thought I imagined you in the first place.” I stuttered. “But why were you there? How can you know where I am?”
He slid his hand around under my ear and swiftly removed a minute object that looked like a button.
“What the hell is that?”
“It’s a tracking device, I fitted it on that last occasion we met at the cemetery. “ He said as if it was the most normal thing to have happened in the world.
“what? Oh for fucks sake...why?”
“Because you are in a very dangerous relationship and we need to know if you are in trouble “
“I’m not in trouble; I just had a bad day.”
“A bad day where your boyfriend murders your dog, Shellie any man who can take the life of an animal purposefully is fully able of taking the life of a human. In fact in some cases they are beyond that!”
I understood what he was saying, it was all a choice of staying in control, was I in control of my own life? I reached out to run my hands through the cool clover and grass that surrounded me.
“I’m tired.”
“You want to go home?”
“Yes please.”
“Well then allow me to give you a lift.” He smiled,
He led me over towards the chalky car park at the top of the field and opened the door of a black Hackney cab. I paused for a moment.
“Don’t see many of these in Lowther!” I commented, flopping myself into the back seat whilst feeling silently impressed that Harry had a chauffeur of his own. My bottle was still gripped in hand, half empty now somehow. We headed down towards the village and onto the main road, Harry sat beside me quietly. My eyes were starting to flicker with drunken tiredness as I realised we had gone past my street.
“Harry, stop the car, we’ve gone past my house.”
“I know.” He said, watching me search desperately for the door handle. As I found it I heard the click of the inner door locks, I was stuck, trapped. I tugged with all my might at the handle, my fingers searching around for another way out. Harry just watched calmly as I slapped my hand against the window like a mad woman. Or maybe I am a mad woman?
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All Of Me