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Lines	By : CGH Category: S through Z > Transformers (Movie Only) > Transformers (Movie Only) Views: 3802 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own the Transformers. I am not making money off writing this.

Chapter List
- 1-Lines
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16 (FINALE)
- 1
- 2
- 3
The cheapest clinic was fifty miles from the warehouse, set right smack in the middle of Tranquility. It was a dingy place with depressing walls and everyone inside looked terribly dejected. Round, pregnant bellies abounded in chairs almost too small for the expectant mothers to sit on. One girl there didn't look older than thirteen.

Mikaela glanced down at herself. Other than her breasts growing half a cup size bigger and feeling sore, her pregnancy wasn't outwardly obvious yet. She didn't look forward to having a basketball for a stomach.

If someone asked her later to give the details of her visit, she wouldn't be able to without breaking into tears. The thin, pale doctor she saw was rude, impersonal and spoke as if her and her baby were a waste of his time. The bastard even said her life would be easier if she got an abortion--all while giving her a pelvic!

"Yeah, well, if my baby could talk and tell me what it wants me to do, I'd let it choose," she'd said.

At least she knew she was right about being six weeks along and could expect the baby sometime in the spring. She had an appointment for an ultrasound in one month, but had no plans of coming back to this clinic where some man would treat her case like a plague.

Mikaela stopped in the restroom to puke. Then she walked to the front desk to pick up two bottles of prenatal vitamins and made her way outside to the Peterbilt waiting in the parking lot.

"Just drive," she snapped.

"Mikaela?"

"I'm never coming back here again. That doctor...I think his name was Kowalski...he's an asshole! I even heard him making fun of the teen moms sitting in the waiting room. That...jerk!" She seethed at her own tears. Hormones were already screwing up her emotions. "I should probably call Sam, but not until I calm down. Ugh. I'm tired already. PMS on steroids."

"Would you like to stop at a fast food place?"

Her stomach pinched in on itself. "No...I'm too queasy to--"

Bile crawled up her gullet. She raced to the back of his cabin to throw up in the bucket. It tasted as bitter as she felt.

"Fuck...I can't wait for my second trimester so I can quit doing this."

Mikaela felt Optimus' hologram materialize behind her. He didn't say a word--he just held her hair out of the way and rubbed her back while her stomach continued its revolt. When she finally regained control of her gag reflex, she sank against his chest. Screw it all...she wanted someone to hold her and she could deal with feeling guilty later.

"Part of me wants to give this baby up for adoption. But I know the second I see him or her...I won't be able to let go. It's like throwing a piece of myself into the world and hoping it lands in a good home. What if this baby grows up to abusive parents? What if the parents don't want it?"

"You have eight months to decide." Optimus raised her head so their eyes met. "If Sam decides to stay out of this, I will..." He blinked, "...gladly act as a father if you choose to keep this child. I know I can't offer any financial assistance, but emotionally...Mikaela, if you need me that way, I will give it to you and your child. All you have to do is ask."

Oh, God, why was he so damn wonderful and selfless? Stability in something, anything, was the one thing she worried about, and he just offered it to her like a gift.

She started to answer, but her stomach decided it wasn't finished yet. Whatever she wanted to say went into the bucket as moaning and gurgling.

.o

Needing to pee a lot grew tiresome. Mikaela read everything she could about pregnancy on the internet and knew this was coming. Still, it was embarrassing!

"Won't you dehydrate after outputting so frequently?"

She eyed Ratchet, who was busy replacing the wiring in Ironhide's torso. Ironhide was offline for the procedure because, according to Ratchet, his complaining got annoying after awhile.

"I'm putting in as much as I'm letting out." Mikaela said. She winced and adjusted her jeans--though her stomach wasn't visibly larger yet, she noticed her waistline was getting thicker and she couldn't button her jeans anymore. Which was why she had a JC Penny's catalogue flipped open to maternity clothes sitting in her lap. The outfits she liked had been circled in red marker.

At least her morning sickness was starting to ease up a little. Smells still sent her running to worship the toilet, but she didn't puke every time her stomach got too empty. She found herself craving beef a lot, so beef stews, beef sandwiches and hamburgers were her gourmet gold. Especially because Optimus learned how to make really awesome triple-stacked sandwiches with beef, lettuce and mayonnaise. He made giant messes when he put them together, but Mikaela couldn't be mad when they tasted so good. She never failed to find one waiting for her at exactly noon every day--and he'd be outside in the driveway because his guard shift started at noon. So he'd give up two minutes of his time just to stop and fix her lunch.

At the moment, Mikaela was finishing one of Optimus' freaking amazing sandwiches. She brushed the crumbs off the catalogue and licked excess mayonnaise off her fingers.

"Mikaela, how did your prenatal checkup go?" Ratchet's voice called her mind back to the present. "I meant to ask earlier, but you were unwell."

"Oh." She made a face, "The obstetrician was such a jerk. Sometimes I wonder how people like that guy are allowed into the medical profession."

"Hm?" Ratchet snipped an old, burnt out wire and slipped a shiny new one into Ironhide's stomach area. "Did he offend you?"

"You bet your ass he did," Mikaela sneered. "Telling me I should abort my baby while he's giving me a pelvic...he must think everybody who gets pregnant by accident is a moron!"

"Pelvic?" he arched a metallic brow. His eyes flickered as he searched the internet before she could explain. "Oh. A procedure to check reproductive health and the progression of a pregnancy. How...invasive. Even the ultrasounds seem so primitive. It's a miracle they can even read the images. I could grant a much clearer view. In fact..." Ratchet looked down at her and his dark pupils turned suddenly white. "...I can see your embryo right now."

Then he lowered his left forearm to Mikaela's level and the armor above his wrist flipped up to reveal a lens. From it sprang a three dimensional, crystal blue image of her pelvic organs. It looked like a computer diagram. Mikaela quickly identified her own body parts--intestines, bladder, ovaries and a white speck attached to the back of her uterus.

"Can you zoom in on it?"

"Of course."

The image grew into something resembling a swollen lima bean floating inside a bubble. Her embryo had a recognizably human, though misshapen head, eye spots and tiny folds where ears were beginning to form. Its limbs looked like little flippers with finger and toe buds. Ten fingers and toes. Mikaela squinted at a strange fluttering in its chest. A lump swelled in her throat. Her baby's heart was beating. She could see the blood moving through it in little pulses. A heartbeat meant life.

"I can tell you the gender if you like." Ratchet said gently.

She blinked. "You can tell so soon?"

"I can sample tissue and see the chromosomes. It won't harm you or the embryo."

What was the harm in knowing? It'd give her a head start on picking a name, clothes and toys. She shrugged. "Okay. What am I having?"

Ratchet passed a device near her skin. It burned slightly, but he turned away before her eyes could take in its details. He squinted, looking a little confused for a moment, but it passed. He discarded the sample and went back to work on Ironhide. "Your embryo is female."

A girl.

Mikaela touched her stomach and it occurred to her that her baby was no longer a thing. She had a little girl inside her. A little girl with a beating heart too small for the naked eye to see. This baby was waiting for her mother's love, and from that moment on she would have it.

.o

Calling Sam again turned out to be scarier than Mikaela anticipated. Why did this frighten her now? Once, she was capable of grabbing a guy by the heart...or his crotch...and lead them anywhere she wanted while they enjoyed the status of having "the hot girl" on their arm. It used to be a game until she ran into Sam and Optimus. Suddenly it all stopped being funny. Now, being caught between them was "spaghettifying" her heart like a planet trapped amidst two black holes. She needed to pick one soon, or risk being torn apart inside.

Sam's phone rang forever. Mikaela had almost given up when he answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Sam."

"Hey..." He sounded surprised that she'd called. "What's up, why's your voice echoing?"

"Not much. I'm in a bathroom where it's private." She glanced at the outdated seventies-styled fixtures and green tiles. A shower with a plastic curtain stuck out like an afterthought in the back corner. Originally, it was for emergencies like chemical spills, but now she used it for hygiene. "How's 'Bee handling things? Busted yet for having him on campus?"

"He's good. Still makes cat calls at girls, that pervert. Aaaand surprisingly, nobody bothers me about having him here." Sam chuckled. "How's life for you? Puking a lot?"

She winced, praying the idea wouldn't turn her stomach inside out. "Not as bad as the last few weeks."

Sam sighed and rattled his phone around. "I'm trying to get a job. The money in my scholarship only paid to get me in. I've got nothing I can give you."

"I'm going to start looking for a job pretty soon." Mikaela jumped in before the silence grew too awkward. She kept fiddling with the earphone cord on her black I-Pod, which was clipped to a belt loop on her jean shorts. "Maybe when you finish with the semester, we can--"

"God...Mikaela...is this going where I think it is?"

She winced and coils of tension wrapped around her spine. "Where do you think it's going?"

"I'm not ready for that. I love you, but geez, we're barely twenty."

Sam just gave her his answer. Clear as crystal and more bitter than bile. She balled the earphone cord in her fist and squeezed back tears. No way was she letting Sam hear her blubber on the phone.

"I'm not ready for this either, but guess who has to deal with the baby? Guess who has to go through the childbirth pain? Guess who has to raise her, wipe her ass, change her diapers and feed her? Guess who, Sam!"

"Her? Mikaela--"

"Exactly! Me! And yeah, we're having a daughter. Ratchet told me so."

"Ratchet? You're staying with them?"

Mikaela's temper burned her eyelids. "Yes. Mom kicked me out."

Silence. Sam was still on the line because she could hear him breathing, but he didn't know what to say.

"I'm not asking you to give up college, Sam."

"I can't get married right now. I just can't. I'd love to, but I-I can't."

"Why not?" Even as she asked the question, Mikaela felt an odd relief that he was being honest. Better she learn about Sam's idea of commitment now, before it ruined a marriage.

Distress entered his voice. The quiver of uncertainty that usually accompanied him fidgeting with whatever he held in his hands. "I'm just not ready to settle down yet. You're great and all, really, and you're awesome at sex, but getting married? That's jumping way too far ahead for me. Maybe if this happened five years from now when we had jobs and could afford it..."

"So you went to all this trouble to get me to like you, and then you take off the second things don't go the way you thought it would? You don't want to try and make this work with me?"

"Aw, Mikaela. I-I-I want to help you out with money. Maybe if I--"

"Don't bother!" She blew up, "I'll figure it out myself!"

"Mik--"

"There's someone here I can fall back on. If you don't want to be a dad, he will. So this is it, Sam. Do we cut us off now?"

Now it was Sam's turn to sound cold. "Hey, I didn't ask for this!"

"Neither did I!"

"Who is it?"

"What?"

"Who is it? This other guy. Who? Somebody I know?"

"Yeah."

He sighed heavily. "Is it Trent?"

"No." Mikaela steeled herself for the knockout blow. She knew this was childish, yet in her furious state she didn't see any mature way to deal with it. If Sam couldn't handle a baby...well this could be his problem.

Sam prodded, "Who is it, Mikaela?"

"It's Optimus," she said.

"The Boss?" Sam's voice crackled over the line.

"Yeah. We're a lot closer than you think..."

Without taking a breath, she poured out everything between the prom and now. She knew it was ruining everything between them...but keeping the secret hurt too much. And the immature part of her felt he deserved it for getting her pregnant and running off. She didn't want him to forfeit his dreams--yet, at the same time, it irked her that he wouldn't put them off for a few years and help her raise the daughter he helped create.

"...I didn't ask to fall for him. I didn't try to, it just happened." Mikaela paused and licked her lips. Her eyes burned with the effort of holding back tears. "Like this baby. It just happened."

Dead silence greeted her after she finished talking.

"...are you shitting me?" Sam asked. "Are you shitting me?"

"Did you ever hear me when I said I wasn't a 'good' girl?"

Time spun out of control. Sam was just a blur in a greater whole.

"You--were messing around behind my back. With him of all people." He practically shrieked, "Trent I can see, but with Opti--uh, the Boss? A freaking truck? That's...that's sick! Oh, my God, all those times I saw you two talking and--how can you even kiss him? It's like licking batteries! God, Mikaela! Are you joking?" Mikaela's cell phone earpiece made a popping sound when Sam's nervous laugh blasted right into the mouthpiece of his phone. "Please tell me this is a bad joke."

Sam's words stabbed something deep in Mikaela's chest. The dread of it spread throughout her body. He didn't understand. She never expected him to, but she didn't anticipate his derision hurting like this.

"I'm not kidding, Sam."

"Oh, perfect. I thought getting tongue-probed by that freaky robot girl wanting into my brain was gross enough, but you were having sex with--"

"He's the one that told me I was better off with you." Mikaela switched the phone to her other ear and paced around the tiny bathroom "Tch, you know what? You're just like every other guy. You run off the second you screw up. Just run, Sam, and keep running!"

His voice cracked, "Were you using me?"

"No. God, Sam...no." Mikaela said honestly. She sympathized with him while simultaneously wanting to berate him about how much he made her feel used. Maybe he didn't mean to. Maybe he didn't realize how his behavior affected her. Maybe she was rationalizing too much. "I wouldn't have called to try and work this out if I didn't care about you. I...I never expected things to happen like this."

"Holy shit..." Sam thumped something in the background. "When I find a job, I'll try and send you some money once a week. Fifty bucks at the very least, no matter what. I hope it'll be enough to keep you and the baby healthy."

"I dunno." Mikaela's eyes were welling over and she wasn't sure whether the tears were for their relationship ending or her own self pity. "I-I'm sorry, Sam."

"Me, too," he replied. Not angry or bitter, just sad.

"Sam?"

"What--"

"Don't be mad at Optimus over this."

"I know, I know...they aren't shy about being intimate. God, this is crazy. How did you two even--wait, no, I don't want to know. I gotta go." But before he hung up, he added, "Get a P.O. box. Never know who might be watching and we don't want anybody seeing our friends."

"Yeah, okay." Mikaela's desire to continue this conversation was draining faster than water through grating. "I'll text you the info when I do it."

"Fine. Maybe when I finish here, I'll try and work something else out. Child support or--"

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Sam." Mikaela knew he probably wouldn't want to touch her again after knowing she had sexual relations with a living, feeling machine. Maybe the fact that they weren't human grossed him out. Whatever the reason, his refusal to try and see things from her perspective made her angry. "Sorry that I interfered with your perfect little life!"

"Whatever. Just get the P.O. box."

"Fine. Bye."

Then she hung up and dropped the phone on the shelf above the toilet. She knew she hurt his feelings. Her life was a rubber band that snapped and smacked everybody in its vicinity. Sam happened to be in the direct line of fire, so he walked away with the welts. God, what if she hurt Optimus next?

Something huge rapped on the door. A familiar baritone called out, "Mikaela? Are you all right?"

"Not really. C-can I please just be alone for awhile?"

Optimus didn't force the issue, he merely said. "Bumblebee informed me of what happened. I'm available if you want to talk."

"What if you're recharging?" she shot back.

If her tone put him off, it didn't show in his reply. "Wake me. I won't mind."

His joints hissed and the ground shook ever so slightly as he moved away from the bathroom door. Mikaela waited until she couldn't hear him anymore. She turned the sink on full blast and indulged in a hard, painful twenty-minute-long cry. Hormones, she figured, acted like a magnifying glass for her emotions. She did not leave the bathroom until she'd washed all evidence of crying off her face.

No one bothered her when she emerged. Optimus transformed into vehicle mode without a word. She climbed inside, made her way into his sleeper and stretched out on her stomach across the mattress.

His radio was playing softly. She recognized the song.

"...don't let yourself go!

Everybody cries--

and everybody hurts...

sometimes..."

"You did a brave thing," Optimus' voice spoke from the speaker on the wall next to the bunk.

"I ruined everything." Mikaela sniffed. "I don't even know what the hell I'm supposed to regret! Letting myself go too far that prom night--no, no, I don't regret that. I don't regret helping you cry. I don't regret the aircraft carrier. I don't regret the cross-country ride. I don't regret you. What's pissing me off is I can't have both of you."

No response, but she knew he was letting her get all her thoughts out. Listening, always listening...

Mikaela rolled over on her back and wiped a hand through her dark hair. Somehow, her internal organs were all one giant knot behind her breastbone. "I'm beginning to think we really can't control who we fall for. If your heart says you like somebody, it doesn't care who you're with at the time. If it's not that person, nothing's going to happen. Or things do happen and something fucks it all up. I guess I just..." She sighed, no sure whether to laugh or cry, "...never thought I'd feel like I do about someone ten billion years older and twenty three feet taller than me."

"Everybody hurts...

Take comfort in your friends..."

"If it makes you feel any better, I never thought I'd feel as I do about an organic. I, too, struggle with myself while Megatron is out there. Deep down, I know he is beyond saving. When I thought he was gone...our first dance was a lifetime of my emotions coming to the surface. I did not expect events to...mudslide..."

She giggled despite her sullen mood. "Snowball, you mean?"

He chuckled. "Yes, that too."

"Me, either. I mean...yeah, at first seeing you transform freaked me the hell out. But once you talked your voice just kind of...um...changed things. You sound so human. You sound like somebody people should listen to."

"I synthesized my voice off a cellular phone signal I picked up as I was landing. When I think about it, it was the driver in the truck I scanned. But we're getting off the subject." Optimus' hologram materialized next to the emergency barf bucket. He folded his hands on the frame of the top bunk, bent one leg and rested his forehead against his clasped fingers, his gaze soft as he met her eyes. The sun burned across his chassis until the flames on his paint job threatened to consume her. Did he have any idea how human that pose looked? "I am rather unsettled over Sam. I thought he was wiser than this."

"No, Optimus...don't get mad at him. I really don't blame him for running off. I would too. And I could...but I won't murder my baby."

"Abortion?"

"Yeah. I won't do it. It'd make my life easier, but it's not fair for the baby. Even if I did it, got married and had another one, it wouldn't be this baby."

His 'eyebrows' slowly lifted, "Then you are in the belief that life chooses its way?"

"I like to think so. Maybe..." This was one of those tangents she'd never go on with anybody else. "Maybe we all get to choose our mothers, but whatever pre-life memories we have are wiped out so we can start fresh. This little girl chose me. I don't know why, but it wouldn't be fair to kick her out because she had bad timing. Shit...I'm scared to death about what I'll do for money and housing and all that...but I don't think I'll apologize for anything when I see her face to face."

He held her gaze and his optics shimmered. "Megatron said something similar, once."

"Hm?"

"When our war started. He told me that he would never regret the moment we bonded. This was around the time the Fallen began to twist him. I wasn't sure what to believe until we met again in that...that other realm." His eyes were sad. "Now I just hold to that memory of him and tell myself the Megatron I see now isn't my Megatron. The mech I loved died the day he fell under the Fallen's spell."

Mikaela reached out and rubbed the side of his arm. "Hey, Optimus?"

He focused on her.

She went on, "I'm not going to be around forever. But...God, this is going to sound so cheesy...but, do you think you could stick around and be in the life of my kid, and..."

"Watch over your descendants?"

"Yeah. A piece of me will be in them. So that means you'll be talking to a piece of me in a hundred years if my kids keep having kids."

"Ah..." Optimus blinked slowly. His optics scrunched as if the idea both pained and amused him. "I would be honored to do that for you."

That made her smile. Already, she felt a million times better than she did in the bathroom. The conversation with Sam ached like a cracked tooth in the back of her mind--but at least it wasn't anywhere near the saw cutting her soul in half when she tried to leave Optimus.

"I think love works the same way as life," she said. "We don't pick who we fall for. I think we just 'know' when we find them."

"I believe the same." Optimus smiled at her. "Sam asked me about this once. He wondered how I could know Megatron was 'the one' when I'd never seen anyone else. I was honest when I said that once I saw him, there was no one else." Then he ducked his head a bit. "I also believe we're allowed to find more than one perfect love in life, because the situation is the same when I look at you. It has been ever since our first dance."

And the world stood still for a beat.

Mikaela swallowed hard and peered up at his serious expression. His optics burned through her with a fire she'd only seen when he was at the height of sexual ecstasy.

The silent message his words conveyed resonated in her heart:

When I look at you, I see YOU.

Then he went on and his voice was a wall of fierce, distant thunder. "And it is my love that will keep me near you and your descendants for as long as I am able. I swear on my Spark that I'll watch over and protect them."

The intensity in his eyes set her mind on fire. She realized he would do anything for her.

Mikaela laid her hands on her stomach. Denying how she felt proved impossible when the perfect someone was looking at her with such passion. Screw the guilt--Optimus could meet her needs. Why should she feel ashamed of finding somebody so right for her? Who cared if he wasn't exactly born on Earth? He was alive--able to laugh, cry, scream in pain, feel pleasure and survive a near death experience--and in her eyes that was good enough.

Besides, above all else in life, Mikaela wanted to be a mom. A big, white wedding would have been nice...but she couldn't see herself wearing the fancy dress with a veil when she wasn't even a virgin. And why get married to a man she'd probably end up divorcing because there was no passion between them?

Passion was what she had with Optimus. Passion was the thing missing from every other relationship she'd ever been in. It glimmered on his fingertips when he reached down and brushed a strand of hair off her brow.

"You're deep in thought." He said.

"How'd you know?"

"The frequency of your eye blinks dropped ten percent."

Mikaela scratched her nose and smiled. Her heart ached less when she let it turn towards the one it craved most. The world and what it thought did not matter while his fingertips lingered on the shell of her ear.

"Optimus," she clasped his hand, "it looks like you're going to be a dad."

"Hm, and to a daughter," he winked at her. With his eyes lit up the way they were, it looked like a star twinkling. "I better do my homework. Last I heard, children don't come with instructions tattooed to their backsides."

That made her snicker and slap at the grating on his abdomen. "Parenthood would be boring if it worked that way. But I'll be counting the days until I get to see you change a diaper. That's going to be funny."

"You're assuming such duties would activate my gag reflex. Seeing as I have no sense of smell or a gag reflex, the odors of an infant's bowel movements will have absolutely no effect on me." He raised a brow without breaking his smile, a look of utter mischief. "So that means the joke is on you."

"Bowel movement." Mikaela rolled her eyes, "You sound like a doctor."

"You're the one that started this discussion about..." He paused to search for a suitable slang word, "...poop."

She tried not to burst out laughing. He looked as though uttering the word 'poop' would have him shot by a firing squad.

How insane is this? she mused to herself, I'm discussing baby poop with a robot who doesn't even go to the bathroom. Wait...

"Hold on. You guys pee, don't you?" Mikaela made a face, "Bumblebee..."

Optimus smacked his palm into his face and shook his head. "He was behaving inappropriately. But yes, I supposed the removal of old fluids, like lubricant or oil, and replacing it with new is the same as...uh...expelling liquid waste materials. Which reminds me--you seem to be doing so more frequently than normal."

Mikaela felt heat spread through her cheeks. "Yeah...I know. It's supposed to be like that. I'm not going to shrivel up like a raisin."

"Ah. Then my concerns were unwarranted. And, speaking of raisins...hungry?"

He had to ask. The moment she thought of food, her stomach waffled between nausea and hunger. Nausea won and she bolted past him to hunch over the emergency bucket.

"Just..." She spat between heaves, "...a few more weeks of this. Morning sickness my ass..."

Optimus stayed behind her the whole time and his reassuring hands rubbed her shoulders between heaves. When she picked her head up with strings of spit dangling off her lips, he merely plucked a Kleenex from her pocket and gently wiped it away without the least bit of disgust.

"I never did have the opportunity to father a youngling," he said softly, smoothing her hair. "Perhaps this is my chance."

"You'd be a great dad, Optimus." Mikaela replied. She took the tissue from him and leaned against his calming presence. "But it's going to be fun explaining why we're so different when she's old enough to ask."

"No, the fun thing will be explaining where babies come from on Cybertron."

"What do you plan to say?"

Optimus smiled at her. "'Ask your mother.'"

"Oh, thanks! Then that means I get to send her to you when she asks where human babies come from."

He pretended to shoot himself in the head and Mikaela's despairing thoughts dissolved into laughter.

"...'cause everybody hurts--

sometimes...

So hold on.

Hold on...

Hold on...

Everybody hurts.

You are not alone..."
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