When All Is Said And Done

Chapter One


Sarah sat at her desk and stared out the window over the cityscape. The screensaver on her computer had long ago flashed to an aquarium scene that was supposed to be soothing. She'd almost immediately tuned it out. The deep blue water with fancifully colored fish seemed out of place in the midst of glass and chrome and leather; Not to mention the forest of concrete outside, the towers of grey stone and reflective windows rising to the sky. Down below in the street, people rushed up and down the sidewalks while traffic zipped in between forced stops by the traffic lights. She was high enough up that the noise was silenced, but she knew it was there. Could feel it in her bones. It was real and tangible and one of the foundations of her world.

With a sigh she turned back to her notes. It was no small feat to have been sought out to join the university's elite professorial staff. And generally she enjoyed it. Teaching graduate students was incredibly satisfying, especially since she wasn't that much older than some of them. Her career had come further than she ever could have imagined in such a short time. And yet…

Something was missing.

Absently fiddling with her pen, Sarah thought of the apartment waiting for her return. It was a lovely apartment. An incredible apartment, really. Corner, with a garden terrace on the rooftop. Big windows, high ceilings, very airy and spacious. She'd spent a small fortune having it decorated just to her taste: clean lines, white walls, white upholstery, white linens and dark green plants to offset the nearly antiseptic feel. But it suited her. It was very real. There was no fantasy about the place. What you saw was what you got. And that's how she lived her life and expressed herself in her work.

But lately her orderly world didn't seem to please her as much as it used to. Maybe it was the lack of someone to share it with. She and Alexander had gone their separate ways nearly a month ago. A mutual friend had set them up and they had clicked almost immediately. Surprising her, because Alex was an actor and she generally shied away from that exuberant, flamboyant type. Stockbrokers and lawyers tended to be the types of men she usually found attractive, but Alex had had a spark that drew her like a moth to a flame. He'd drawn her out of herself, something no one had been able to do since…

Clearing her throat, she sat up quickly, her expression quickly snapping into the intense concentration of writing mode. It was no use dwelling on Alex. He had wanted more than she was willing to give and when he realized there would be no wheedling or coaxing it out of her, he moved on with his life. Without her. As it should be.


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Jareth's hand hesitated over the crystal containing the thread that connected them. It had been too many years. If her mind was eternally closed to him, it could damage the thread beyond repair and he would lose her forever. The long fingers moved to a grasp a much larger one instead. Crossing to a pile of pillows, Jareth settled himself in the middle, folding his legs under and clearing his mind of everything except her.

My spirit longs to see you, Sarah. Whatever has become of you, I need to know. This is the day of your birth, what better time?

Fixing his gaze in the center, Jareth's mind called on the power of the crystal to reveal her. What he saw caught the breath in his throat.

You have become more beautiful than I could have imagined, my Sarah. What justice is this that you have prospered and blossomed? Do you lie with another now that you are grown and wordly? Is there some small part of your heart that was reserved for me alone?

The width of the vision he accessed was narrow, allowing him to see her and a small part of the surroundings. She rose once to gather some papers from another piece of furniture and he frowned when he saw the severe appearance she presented.

Where are the flowing garments of your youth? Does this restriction of your body reflect the restriction you've placed on your spirit?


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"Damnit," Sarah hissed, having erased the same paragraph for the third time. She simply couldn't focus and wasn't getting anywhere on transcribing her notes. Her frustration obvious in her stilted movements, she shut down the computer and put her things away, leaving the office as neat as if it were unoccupied.

Outside the building, instead of hailing a cab as was her norm, she began the ten block trek to her apartment. The sky was the deep, azure blue of late spring, a breeze blowing through the city canyons just enough to bring a fresh smell to the normal city scents. She wondered at her sudden restlessness, then pushed the thought away as she walked with long, sure strides. Of course a brisk walk would help.

Exhaust her body and mind, have dinner and a drink, then a good night's sleep. Exactly what the doctor ordered.

"And back to work tomorrow. Everyone has off days," she assured herself as she approached her building, nodding to the doorman as she entered the lobby and took the elevator up to her floor. Her keys in hand, she stopped short at the sight of a package on the floor next to her door. She bent and checked the return address. It was from her stepmother.

Curious, she juggled the box as she let herself in, setting it on the breakfast bar in the kitchen as she dropped her keys and purse on a chair. A moment later she had a pair of scissors out of the utility drawer and was carefully cutting the brown paper wrapping. A note fell out:

Dearest Sarah,

I was doing a bit of spring cleaning in the attic and found this. I know you're not much for 'clutter' but I thought it might bring you a bit of nostalgic joy.

Love,
Mother

Frowning a bit, she opened the flaps of the box and drew out a small cherry wood chest with a brass lock. Her eyes widened. She hadn't thought of her 'treasure chest' in years. For all she'd known, it had been thrown away ages ago. Eyeing it warily, she cleaned up the mess made by unpacking the box and poured herself a glass of wine as she contemplated the reminder of her childhood.

A phone call interrupted her thoughts. By the time she was done answering her teaching assistant's questions she had decided it wasn't worth rifling through the things her impulsive, overly-emotional teenage self had deemed 'treasure'. Especially if it contained… It never occurred to her to question why she'd kept the key in the bottom of her jewelry box all these years.


Resolute, she turned away and carried her glass back into her bathroom. Struggling against the restless feeling once again, she decided to indulge herself in a long, hot soak. Turning on the taps, she let the steaming water run over her fingers for a moment before turning to light several candles around the room. Already feeling better, she slipped out of her clothes and stepped into the tub, sinking into the hot water with an audible sigh.

Maybe she'd just been working too hard. That had to be it.


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Her movements were followed closely and while not all of the things she did were understood, they were absorbed. The frustration clearly visible on her face when she left the strange room brought a small smile of satisfaction to his face.

Perhaps your life isn't all that you wish.

Encouraged by this small sign of unhappiness, Jareth pushed aside his impatience and contented himself with the images. He'd allowed years for her to grow and mature, what were a few hours or days in comparison?

His eyes followed her through the streets of the city, amused by the antics of the creatures that passed though his charmed window. A small frown marred the surface of his forehead, but cleared when she merely nodded at the man who appeared to be familiar enough to open a portal for her.

The abode she appeared to inhabit didn't please him. It seemed cold and lifeless, the vivid green of the plants the only spark of life in the otherwise barren space.

What calamity has befallen her that she could abide such a residence? Is there a mate in her life that prefers this - sterile existence? Surely I would have felt the severing of the last thread between us?

He watched Sarah open the parcel, intrigued when she showed - almost a fear of the box it contained and the resolute way she ignored it thereafter. The tidyness she showed in clearing away the wrappings gave him a clue to the uncluttered existence that was her life.

The gift of surprise is not welcomed by you, is it, my dear Sarah? My fears that you have forgotten me are unfounded and make my impatience grow.

Her bathing rituals were a direct contrast to the impression he had been given thus far and a small smile graced his mouth until she began to disrobe. Heavy lided eyes followed every movement the supple fingers made as they unfastened the numerous buttons on the jacket she wore. The candlelight made her undergarment shine and shimmer, drawing his eyes to the peaks beneath its covering. Jareth's eyes darkened and his breathing became heavier as the matching trousers were finally removed and she stood revealed to him clothed only in silk. The peaks of her breasts hardened when exposed to the air and he wondered for a moment if they felt his gaze. The last of the undergarments were removed under a watchful eye. The sleek lines of her body pleased him greatly and Jareth knew the promise contained in the child had been true. It didn't matter to him any longer if there was already a mate standing by. He would lose.


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Sarah lolled in the tub, her fractured thoughts soothed by the wine, candlelight and warm water. She'd always been drawn to sensual pleasures, but rarely let herself indulge. Like most of life, she believed in a mantra of moderation in all things. Well, except work. Her writing was who she was. Who she was, was her writing.

But what do I write about? Other people, their adventures and actions? Where are my -

She blinked, cutting off her own thoughts and shifted in the tub, the soft sound of the water echoing in the tiled bathroom. Picking up her glass, she took another sip then lifted the delicate piece and watched the candlelight shimmer through the red liquid. It was almost hypnotic, lulling her into a strange state.

And then it hit her, the reason for the strange uneasy place she'd found herself in all day. Her laugh echoed through the bathroom. "Well, happy birthday to me," she said to the empty room, suppressing a shiver at the utter silence that answered her.

It was ironic, really. She'd given up celebrating birthdays long ago. At least her own. And others she bore with limited patience. Birthdays were just like any other day. The need to make them frivolous occasions was tiresome. And so she'd all but forgotten her own.

And so why does it bother you that there were no phone calls, no notes, no surprise cakes from co-workers or someone to take you out to dinner and -

Again, she brutally cut off such thoughts as she'd done since… Well, for a long time. Feeling frustrated and just tired of her life, she closed her eyes with a sigh and willed a sense of peace to descend. It did not. Another feeling took root and caused a shiver to skitter down her spine. It was the oddest sensation, as if she were being watched. Unable to help herself, she opened her eyes and glanced around, well-aware that there was no one there. And yet… the feeling refused to go away.

More determined than ever to force herself to relax, she settled her head on the rim of the tub and shut her eyes again. It was then that she realized the strange feeling of someone watching her had been with her since she was at the office, but for some reason it was more intense now. Or maybe it was just her.

"Hell, of course it's just you, Sarah. Who else would it be?" She drained the rest of her wine then stood and pulled a towel from a shelf, wrapping it around herself. "Maybe you should get a cat. Then you could be crazy and have a cat. Not to mention the hair on everything. That's a great idea," she drawled sarcastically as she stepped out of the tub.

Stopping in front of the mirror, she looked at herself in the flickering candlelight. She didn't feel any different. Pursing her lips, she dropped the towel and inspected herself critically. She still had the body of a fit young woman. That was something, right? Twisting around, she looked at her rear end as well. Yes, decent to even her critical eye.

Rolling her eyes at her reflection, she pulled on a thin silk robe and belted it around her waist then padded out into the bedroom. The bed caught her eye. Maybe that was it. No sex on your thirtieth birthday was enough to depress anyone. It didn't help that since she and Alex had split there had been no -

Again, she cut off the thought and determinedly went into the kitchen and poured herself another glass of wine. At loose ends, she wandered back to the living room and curled into a chair, using a remote to flick on the fireplace, watching the cold flames dance as if they were real and warm. The sun set as she stared at them and finished her second glass of wine, eventually dozing where she sat, discontent still visible on her features even in the arms of her dreams.


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Although he had been seated in the same postion for hours, Jareth rose smoothy and replaced the largest crystal in the cupboard. There was no hesitation this time when his hand closed around the smaller orb containing her thread. It was cradled firmly in his hand as the journey to his bed chamber was accomplished.

Once there, the high black boots were quickly removed and he reclined on the huge bed, the crystal set afloat in the air above him. Closing his eyes, Jareth touched the thread with his mind and followed its length to the beginning. Brushing the curtain of her dream aside, Jareth was pleased to see her much as she had appeared in the other crystal.

"Have you forsaken me altogether, my Sarah?" he asked as he knelt beside the chair and touched the soft cheek with a finger.

Shifting a bit to find a more comfortable place in the oversized chair, Sarah paused and made a noise low in her throat at gentle touch on her cheek. Her features softened and she smiled a bit. Alex.

"Forsaken you?" she murmured, a hint of a chuckle in her voice. "Why would I…" Her voice froze and she opened sleep-laden eyes to see not the tousled dark hair of her former lover but the one who had tried to haunt her for so very long. Only by stint of sheer will had she held his memory at bay, but now it seemed her defenses had failed her.

"Jareth."

Her heart hammered in her chest as she stared at him. "You… You… I… how? Why? I didn't call," she said breathlessly, squeezing her eyes shut. "I never called. I promised myself. I never called."

A low chuckle escaped his throat as the finger traced a path down the cheek and across a silken jaw.

"A wistful thought remaining from childhood that still inhabits your mind. What kind of creature do you take me for, to leave such a monumental decision in your delicate hands? You spurned me once, dear Sarah, but it didn't seal the portal between us. It isn't within my nature to leave myself open to the whim of another for all eternity."

Sarah stared at him in mute shock, a shiver running through her at the touch.

"You cannot be real. You are not real." She closed her eyes again, squeezing them hard enough to almost cause pain. "You are a figment of my over-active childhood imagination. I have had too much to drink and am having some sort of early mid-life crisis."

She took a slow, deep breath. "When I open my eyes, you will be gone."

Jareth couldn't contain the amusement her speech generated and his mouth opened to allow laughter to grace the air between them. A wicked smile curved his lips as he rose and leaned over her. The finger tracing her jaw was joined by the others and it was taken in a firm grasp.

"Deny me now, sweet promised one," he whispered as his mouth claimed hers and nipped lightly on the bottom lip before his tongue traced the seam.

Every nerve in Sarah's body was galvanized as his lips touched hers. "I…" she managed to begin, a moment before his teeth and tongue quickly seduced her into opening beneath the onslaught. It was so very right, the heat that unfurled within her at his touch. This was what terrified her as a child, but intrigued her as a woman..

She wrenched away from him, pushing herself back into the chair cushion, her eyes wide and her breathing rapid. "This can't be. I'm dreaming. That's it. This is very, very strange, alcohol-induced dream. That would explain why everything is so vivid. And well, of course you'd be kissing me because… well, it's been a long time and I am human and…" Her rambling trailed off into nothingness as she continued to stare at him.

"Yes," Jareth whispered drawing closer, his eyes fixed on hers. "It's only a dream and what harm lies within dreams? Flights of fancy that fade with the dawn. Nothing permanent to follow you throughout the mundane days of your existence. Allow yourself the freedom you desire, Sarah, and dream for a short time with me."

"Dream? But I…" She looked confused for a moment, rubbing her forehead with her fingers. "I can't."

She tore her gaze from his and looked away, feeling like she had in the sevenfold room. Unbalanced, unable to find center, not knowing which way was up and which was down. But this time it wasn't Toby falling that worried her. It was her own desire to fall.

"It wasn't real. It wasn't real," she repeated softly to herself, refusing to look at the man she could feel so very close to her. "It was all some strange, hormonal fantasy. Nothing more."

She bit her lip and felt compelled to look back at him. "Why?" she finally asked. "Why do you haunt my dreams now, after all these years." For a moment she looked almost angry. "I thought I had banished you for good."

Anger was better than indifference. Jareth was pleased with the progress made on this night and a smile returned to his face. Deliberately licking his lips to draw her gaze, Jareth finally spoke.

"Our meeting occurred too soon and damaged the accord our spirits have for each other. The passage of years was required to knit the wounds and allow your growth to become my equal in mind and body. I was not banished from your presense," were the gloating words that fell from his lips. "My withdrawl was in recognition of your youth and the sure knowledge that the woman within was worth the wait."

Sarah suddenly felt weary. Weary from fighting this fantasy that was never far from the edges of her consciousness as long as she could remember. Weary from keeping herself so tightly wrapped for fear of her unstable nature giving in to unreal realms. He was wearing her down. She could feel it.

Lifting a trembling hand and touched his lips with her fingertips. So warm and soft and real."I'm afraid," she whispered. "If I let you in just once, I may never be able to shut you away again."


Taking her hand in his, Jareth kissed the tips of her fingers before meeting her eyes again.

"Fear longs to be a constant companion in life, Sarah. Allow it to accompany you on your journey and you will never taste of joy. When relegated to its proper position, it merely adds a touch of spice."

He leaned forward to take her mouth in a deep kiss once more and then broke it pulling back enough to challenge her with his eyes.

"Your fear serves no purpose. My presense would not be possible if you had been able to deny me a place in your heart," Jareth said gravely as he mentally grasped the thread to pull himself away. "Expect my return and banish fear from your life."

Sarah could do nothing but stare as Jareth faded from her view. Raising her hands to her lips, she looked around her, everything in her own space feeling… surreal. Her heart was still racing from his last kiss, the taste of his lips something she would not soon forget. Her mind felt sluggish, unable to form a coherent though and for a moment, she wondered if he had done more than drug her with his kisses…

With a start her eyes popped open and she sat up with a gasp, blinking and rubbing sleep from her eyes. "Jareth?" she asked before she could stop herself, looking around her apartment that was just as it was before she'd dozed off in front of the fire.

"Damnit," she hissed, pushing herself up quickly and realizing where her sleeping mind had wandered. Sleep would not be easily come by any more that night, she knew that without a doubt. Not with that name on her lips and in her mind.