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I Don't Regret	By : JasminSteele Category: M through R > Predator Views: 3942 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Predator nor do I make any monetary gain from this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter Eighteen
I Don't Regret, Part One
Otic returned the ship to the Mo'r-pheus station in one piece then shooed us all back down to the surface of Ru-ut'telta. She needed to stay behind to organize communications with the Elder's family so she could decide what to do with his ship, among other things.
Not to mention there were over thirty bodies that had been stored for a proper burial. It was all we could save of the other hunters. For the ones we could not recover we tried to get all of their personal belongings together from the battlefield and put them in marked containers.
The Matron certainly had a large job ahead of her but I wasn't going to worry myself about it. I was too exhausted and felt like I hadn't slept in ages. Beira was the main cause, especially after his initial 'confession'. Being on guard was my number one priority.
After we got settled on the surface and the human girl was tended to I took Tobias into my room and slept with him in my arms for a very long time. It was something I had wanted to do as soon as I had left for my Chiva and I thought about it every waking moment.
Once I woke, though, the guilt weighed me down heavily. Tobias had told me about monogamy, something I believed in as well, and that it was traditionally what humans did when they took a mate. Tobias was my mate and by both of our standards I had cheated on him.
I had cheated on him with a murderer. It made me sick inside, I could only hide it by blaming my minor injuries I had gained while taking down the queen in the end. There were only a few cuts and scrapes but any blood shed was enough to distract my love from the real problem I found myself with.
The problem really was my own, too. Otic informed me that Tox had killed Beira and that she let him do it. There was a sense of relief but a smaller sense of remorse. I had grown close to him, I knew things about him, his life, his family. He was the only other person I told about my own life even though it was in a round about way.
Knowing that he was dead, though, meant that no one else knew my secret except for me.
For days I debated on telling Tobias about Beira or not. The news would be as devastating as all of his previous girlfriends back on Earth had cheated on him before he even got to mate with them. He had no reason to be suspicious of anything from me. Even as I was distant after returning he contributed it to 'shell shock' from the Chiva. Some of it was shock, I had been stepping on glass trying not to cut myself for so long and then I was safe again. It was surreal, even as he used my leg as a pillow to tell me his stories.
I let him tell me of his days spent with Otic, most of the time I was surprised that the Matron had taken such a shining to him and was in awe of some of the things he told me.
"And there it was, in plain daylight as we sat in the garden," he explained, "a hard on from a day dream about you."
"And she did nothing?" I asked bewildered.
"Nope, I just said it wasn't for her, she chuckled and let me be."
"I would think at that point she would have teased you for it," I said with a smile. Some of the shock had worn away after Tobias started telling me about what his life had been like and in turn I told him about the hunts. He didn't want to know the gory bits so I stuck with my victories and humorous things Tox did or said. Life on the clan ship was a little boring and I thought often of Tobias, and told him so. More than once I found myself at my favorite window, pining for my human companion.
"I spent a few days here and there thinking of you, too" he told me with a blush. Tobias was very modest and didn't like to speak about sex too openly. I knew what he meant, though, and found it even more endearing and heart wrenching.
It was a moment of weakness, I told myself bringing up the unwanted memory again. I spoiled my own moment by thinking of what I had done and felt terrible once again.
I was so tempted to tell him right then and there to clear my conscious the more I thought about it but, then another thought popped up: if I hadn't done what I did then Beira would have most likely tried to kill Tox and me. Beira was attracted to me, so much so that he trusted me after I told him my life's story. If I had rejected the male for good then I would have been on his list of people to end.
The tension in my body eased away before Tobias noticed it making me a little happier. There was a reason behind what I had done, even though that wasn't why I did it in the first place but, it was good enough to sate myself and relieve some of the guilt I felt.
In fact, the longer I thought about it the better I felt. I had nothing to regret because if I had done anything differently I would have most likely not came back alive.
Tobias would have killed me if I didn't come back to him. Never mind that I could have let Beira die from his acid wounds in the first place.
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I Don't Regret