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Cover Me	By : Huronoryu Category: S through Z > Transformers (Movie Only) > Transformers (Movie Only) Views: 71978 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 9
Disclaimer: I do not own the Transformers movie, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Cover Me
By The Black Dragon Queen
Author's Notes: I apologize for the lateness. I had a review that made me pause; re-think and pretty much re-write this entire chapter to re-instate what I thought was pretty much a given conclusion. I thought that it was clear but I was clearly mistaken. Also given the holiday last Monday as well I couldn't update until today. I do apologize for the lateness. In the extra week however I got back into my TMNT kick so those of you who are reading my TMNT fic get an extra chapter update as I finally updated that fic as well (after a year and some months!).
Chapter One Hundred Seventy Five: Scullery Maids
"We are all very, very sorry, aren't we?" There was a bit of shuffling from the group on the deck of the ship. "Aren't we?"
"Yeah, I suppose," someone in the back muttered.
Prowl's optics snapped over to the gathered group and they darkened slightly. "Aren't we?" he repeated with even more stress on the words.
"Sorry," Optimus replied automatically.
"Why are you apologizing? You did absolutely nothing with the paint," Barricade drawled, not even looking up from his data pad turned game player.
Optimus shrugged before he turned back to the fuming Manning. "I am sorry though. Sunstreaker will have it cleaned by the time we reach port."
"Before then preferably!" Manning announced, his eyes going right to the bright yellow mech.
"I have more solvent than paint so it shouldn't take too long," Sunny nodded before glancing over at Jazz, the main paint thrower. "If everyone who participates helps with the mess."
"Oh they will," Optimus frowned looking pointedly at the splattered mech next to him.
"I barely threw any!" Ironhide yelped affronted.
"You threw paint. Doesn't matter how much in comparison with everyone else," Ratchet shook his head. "One would think someone of your advanced age would be beyond such childish things."
"You saying I'm old?" Ironhide yelped. "And you're the one who dragged me into it in the first place!"
The yellow-green-orange and purple medic grinned. "Worth it."
"I must say, you do look good in dark blue 'Hide," Will chuckled as he looked over the multicolored mech.
Ironhide mumbled a bit but said nothing more as Optimus turned to the others. He waited a moment before asking, "Well? Shouldn't you all be cleaning?"
"Got it," Jazz sighed as he turned to Sunstreaker and held out his hand dramatically for the cleaning rag. "Let's get to it fellow warriors! There's a floor to be scrubbing!"
"I hate cleaning," Ironhide grouched back and got a rag in the face for his troubles.
"Oh shut up and scrub," Sunny frowned at him. Purple looked horrid on yellow no matter what anyone said.
"Thank you Optimus," Manning sighed as the group that had participated got to work cleaning the deck. He quickly nodded to the others before heading back to whatever duties he had that morning.
"Gotta say, it would have been entertaining had we pulled into port like this!" Will laughed a bit as he peeled some of the drying paint off his hands.
"I don't think Captain Manning would see it quite so humorously," Sam drawled as he looked over the paint splotches on his coat. His mother was probably going to have a fit if it didn't wash out.
"What the heck happened to the ship?" a voice yelped out and Sam, Miles and Will turned to see a few of the others had finally come up on deck.
"Paint wars! It was awesome!" Will laughed as he flicked a bit of still wet paint Epps' way though it came up a good foot short of his target.
"And you didn't call me?" Epps practically wailed aghast. "What kind of best friend are you?"
Will just laughed again. "You see what happens when you ditch us to go to breakfast?"
"Yeah, no kidding. Looks like something out of 'Operation Petticoat'," Steve snickered as he looked about the deck.
"At least the whole ship isn't pink like the submarine in that movie," Will grinned.
"What happened anyway?" Ron asked as he peeled some of the paint off Sam's jacket, much to the boy's relief. Clearly Sunny's mixture only stuck to metals, which made sense in some Cybertronion way.
"Sunny woke up and insisted on giving the twins a paint job," he explained with a smile. "And of course Jazz saw something shiny and had to play with it and then roped everyone in so he wasn't the only one in trouble!"
"Hey!" Jazz called out affronted but Optimus just laughed.
"Look out Jazz! It seems Sam's figured you out!"
Prowl frowned as he watched Jazz get back to work scrubbing the deck. "Is that safe for Jazz to be doing?" he asked after a moment.
"You're the one who ordered it and now you're going to change your mind?" Barricade drawled from where he was still playing his game.
Prowl shot Barricade a look but Optimus quickly quelled his fear. "Ratchet's doing it too so I doubt it's anything harmful. Even the sparklings are cleaning and Ratchet hasn't stopped them."
Prowl still looked unconvinced but allowed the matter to drop as he turned back to Optimus and Soundwave. "Did you get in touch with Red Alert? I would like to hear what he had to report on the status of the base's construction as well as how the humans are doing with Thirteen's files."
There was a long, drawn out pause. "Err…"
"You didn't get in touch with him, did you?" Barricade finally looked up from his data pad to smirk.
"We did manage to successfully make contact with Security Director Red Alert," Soundwave informed him. Sam could almost hear the affronted tone in the sentence too.
The two patrol car mimics both wore dubious expressions. "And?" Prowl turned back to his commander. "What did he say?"
"Er… we kind of didn't speak to him very long."
Prowl's optics darkened. "Exactly how long was it then?"
Optimus and Soundwave glanced at one another. "Maybe five minutes?" Optimus hesitated a guess.
"Five minutes," Prowl repeated in disbelief. He sighed and dropped his head a bit before he looked back up. "Well long enough for you to tell him about our situation. What did he- why are you shaking your head?"
"Well, you see, before Manning came to fetch me we spent most of the time listening to Red Alert um…"
"We were reprimanded for our vague and sporadic updates." Soundwave actually sighed. "He was very distraught when we hung up on him. Again. For the second time. In as many days."
"Yes, thank you Soundwave," Optimus groaned.
Prowl just stared disbelieving. "So what does he know?" he asked in a near panic.
"Well, he knows we found the ARC and are bring back some other equipment aside from the Energon," Optimus stated proudly like a kid showing off his "A" to his parents. Optimus then frowned. "Though I don't think we ever told him about us bringing back Telatron's AI."
"Oh for the love of Primus," Prowl dropped his head into his hands. "He's gonna kill us all when we get back."
"Now in my defense, things have been pretty hectic on our end," Optimus tried to explain. Prowl looked up slightly and one optic locked onto Optimus' form furiously.
"He's got a point man," Epps chuckled. "Skyfire and Sunstorm, then Scorponok." Sam glanced over at the giant bug that was currently sunning himself on the deck, completely ignoring the sparkling twins who were viciously scrubbing the paint that had landed on him during the paint war. "Then the twins' twins. It's been a busy week."
Prowl looked like he wanted to protest but he just dropped his head again and groaned. "The paperwork he's going to submit," he groaned as if he could already envision the stacks descending upon him. It was frightening to anyone with a shred of common sense.
"Hey, I thought you were like the paper-work king or something," Jazz called out from where he was helping Perceptor get the paint off his back.
"You keep cleaning!" Prowl shouted back before he went back to his silent lamenting.
"Paperwork is nothing compared to what awaits us!" Ron laughed trying to lighten the mood. "Judy's probably going nuts not knowing what's happening with us. And since she's getting' her information from Red Alert-"
"Who's not getting any information at all from us," Prowl moaned.
"Then she's probably worried sick right about now," Ron finished.
"Perhaps Manning would let you call her on the ship-to-shore line," Will suggested. "Her cell phone maybe? It's not as overly secured as the Autobot's communication line."
"Especially after Red got a hold of it," Optimus sighed.
Ron and Steve clamped onto the idea soundly and headed off towards the bridge in hope of getting in touch with their wives. Miles and Sam decided to hold back, citing paint peeling as their reasoning and the men had let it go. "At least have them tell Red Alert we're all fine!" Prowl shouted after them. The two humans just wave as they passed Skyfire approaching the small group.
"Is there anything I can possibly assist with?" Skyfire asked as he joined the small impromptu meeting. "It seems I am not allowed to help with the clean up."
"You weren't part of the paint war so you shouldn't feel obligated to help them with their own mess," Optimus smiled. "But thank you for the offer.
"I must admit, I feel a bit useless standing around doing nothing all day," Skyfire frowned.
"Oh, well there's really nothing to do until we get back to the actual base," Optimus frowned a bit as he thought.
"You could always give him and that psycho of his a crash course in Earth and humans in general," Barricade drawled. "Before we reach land and other humans."
Optimus actually brightened. "What a wonderful suggestion! Bumblebee!"
Barricade glanced over at where Bumblebee was helping Ironhide with his paint as the young 'Bot looked up and headed their way at Optimus' gesture. "What? I miss a spot or something?"
"Actually Barricade has come up with a wonderful suggestion that should help keep you both from becoming bored."
"What do you mean 'both'?" Barricade's head shot up.
"You're the only two not doing anything," Optimus frowned back before he turned to 'Bee again. "Also since you two have been on Earth the longest out of anyone here and have the most experience with the humans, you can assist Skyfire and Sunstorm in learning all there is about this planet."
"Rule number one: Nothing on this planet ever makes any sense," Barricade drawled as he got back to his game. "Rule number two… actually, that pretty much sums it up. Good luck."
"Barricade," 'Bee snapped and red optics glanced up to meet blue for a moment before they slid back to a rather uneasy Skyfire.
"Rule number two: This place makes Autobots stupider."
"BARRICADE!" everyone snapped this time. Even Epps was giving the mech a dark glare.
Barricade just stared balefully back at them before he looked at Skyfire again. "You surely have noticed their rather… uncharacteristic behavior for a Cybertron, correct?"
"Um… well…"
"I thought you were a scientist," Barricade challenged at Skyfire's hesitance to state anything to that effect with Optimus standing right there.
"They have been acting rather strange," Skyfire admitted reluctantly.
"Apparently there is some sort of 'survival mode' in our base programming," Barricade continued and now even Optimus and Prowl were looking at him intently. "Supposedly it's to help us if we're ever stranded on some sort of bizarre planet," here he made a cough that sounded suspiciously like "Earth" before continuing. "It seems that it wasn't meant for everyone but just-"
"Outer-steller exploration teams," Skyfire nodded, surprising everyone. "I was not aware civilians and others had such a programming."
Bumblebee nodded. "Apparently some higher ups in the old council thought it could help for anyone who got lost as space travel became trendier. It's to help the mech pick up the inhabitants traits, quirks and the like and, um, 'blend in' better until rescue arrives."
"Like how our alt modes help us hide in the more congested areas," Prowl exclaimed excitedly. "It makes sense but the idea that we could have some… subliminal programming-"
"It's the truth," Barricade stated calmly as he saved his game and finally put the data pad away. "Even Skyfire confirmed its existence."
"Yes, but as I said, I did not know it was also implemented in civilians."
Bumblebee nodded before he found himself under the dual stare of both Optimus and Prowl. "Fascinating as this is, it begs the question exactly how you two know about this?" Optimus spoke.
"Megatron."
Everyone jumped at Soundwave's sudden input. "Come again?" Prowl frowned at the Decepticon beside him.
"Megatron ensured to know everything there was to know about his recruits," Soundwave continued. "Both inner and outer workings, specialties and what could be considered any weakness."
"Know thine enemy is to know thyself," Will nodded in agreement.
"Ind-d-deed," another voice answered and everyone turned to find Frenzy, Rumble and Ravage making their way towards them.
"What happened to the deck?" Rumble asked as he looked at the half still not cleaned up.
"Long story," Optimus sighed before he turned back to Barricade and Bumblebee. "Then it's settled. You two will give Skyfire and Sunstorm a crash course in humans and Earth."
Skyfire looked horrified. "'Crash course'?"
"Oh I can tell already that this will be so much fun," Barricade sighed.
'Bee just frowned a moment. "Who do you want?" he asked out of the blue.
Barricade looked up at him startled by the sudden question. "What?"
"Who do you want to help? Skyfire or Sunstorm?"
It suddenly clicked within Barricade's processor exactly who it was they were being "asked", read ordered, to help. "Are those my only options?"
"Bumblebee? What?" Optimus left the question hanging.
"You didn't say we had to work together to help them," Bumblebee smirked. "And one-on-one learning helps get the main points across quicker."
"Right, I'll take the psycho nut!" Barricade huffed as he clambered to his feet.
Skyfire frowned at the nickname but his gaze went to his companion nonetheless. "Are you sure? Sunstorm can be quite a handful."
Barricade shrugged. "Yeah, but he'll be a lot more direct than you." Skyfire looked utterly baffled. "One thing I've learned about scientists is they have an overabundance of questions for the simplest of statements. I'm not about to spend the rest of my time stuck on this boat answering the same question just phrased differently a billion and one times."
Bumblebee suddenly looked worried. "Actually, when you put it that way-"
"No take backs!" Barricade yelped. Bumblebee pouted.
"I'm sure Sam and the others would be willing to help where they can," Optimus shook his head. "And Ironhide too with his rather limited knowledge. It's still more than most thanks to Will."
"Drat, and here I left my sunglasses down in my room," Epps chuckled at the sudden red hue Will's face had adopted.
Skyfire stared down at the tiny human, those multiplying questions Barricade accusing him of already coming to the forefront of his processor. He had seen the extended periods of time that the human and the one Optimus introduced as the Autobot's weapons specialist seemed to spend together. He was curious as to what it was exactly that had happened to instill such friendship and what they spoke about to keep said friendship after the defeat of the Decepticons. There wasn't much they could possibly have in common.
Humans were such a peculiar set of creatures. Though Skyfire couldn't make an end conclusion with the small sample he had. He would just have to wait until he reached this "Cybertronion Consulate" or more accurately known as the Autobot's base and meet the rest of the humans to finalize his judgment.
Skyfire thought for a moment. "Speaking of humans, why is it that you're always following the one called 'Knight' around?
"What do you mean?" Prowl asked with a frown. "We don't follow him around."
"Beg pardon Prowl but I was actually speaking to the Decepticons," Skyfire turned to Barricade and Soundwave. "It's almost as if you're just waiting for him to do something."
"We d-d-don't l-l-like him," Frenzy announced with a small frown.
"Not this again," Prowl huffed as he glared at the Decepticons. "You're still suspicious of him? He hasn't done anything!"
"Exactly," Barricade scowled. "He hasn't done anything. He's just… there."
"You don't suspect him of something do you?" Optimus asked a bit worried.
"Don't care. We don't like him," Ravage snarled.
Rumble nodded in agreement. "He's here and we don't know him. Enough reason to follow him around."
"The fact that he's still here on the ship coming with us all the way back to California, doesn't that seem all too convenient?" Rumble asked.
"We couldn't help that. We were suppose to part after returning back to Alaska," Prowl argued.
"It's not like we could just leave him back in the Arctic once we realized we were taking the ship all the way back to California," Epps nodded.
"Doesn't matter. Still don't like him," Ravage announced flatly.
"Keller did send him so he's sworn in on the Cyber-T project," Prowl reminded them. "And before you say it, I think Mr. Westfield would notice if a member of Sector Thirteen took Knight's place."
"Eddie was of Sector Seven so he would know," Optimus agreed as he frowned at the group of Decepticons. "Guys, I doubt Keller would send someone he didn't verify thoroughly."
"So? We're not entitled to our opinions?" Barricade frowned. "That guy is just creepy with a capital C."
"At least he's not as bad as Simmons," Optimus retorted after a beat. "He actually did kidnap Sam and Mikaela."
"Yeah, that was not fun," Sam sighed.
"No, Simmons is just another C. He's certifiable," Barricade shook his head.
"You didn't tell me that part," Miles admonished his friend quietly.
"What's to tell? He got us then Optimus and the others got us back."
"And then he got you again after you tied him to a street lamp in his underwear," Epps laughed.
"At least with Simmons we could do something," 'Bee growled.
"Not you too," Prowl sighed.
"Simmons is a whiny know-it-all prick," Barricade nodded in complete agreement. "Still doesn't mean we can't dislike Knight."
"He is very… clingy," Will stated after a moment. "Always interested in what we're saying."
"The Cyber-T program is still very new. He probably only got a basic overlay of us before being shipped out to Alaska or what not," Prowl reasoned.
"Better than that 'Hunter' character back in Canada," Epps said with a shrug. "Least Knight isn't so uptight."
"Still tends to hover a lot though," Barricade frowned. "Especially with you and Sam," he directed at Will.
"Probably is relieved to have human company to speak with. You guys can be… unnerving."
Ravage gave a very toothy grin. "Good."
"Scary kitty," Epps snickered.
"Ironhide practically said the same thing," Will sighed. "Sometimes I think the peace has yet to sink in yet with some of you. You're seeing conspiracies everywhere."
"We are not," Optimus argued only to jump straight up into the air a moment later.
"It's a conspiracy I tell ya!" Ironhide announced as he marched over to Optimus and Prowl. "Tell that lot that we don't need aprons!"
"And little French maid hats!" Jazz chimed in. "Though I don't know where we could get the stockings."
"One, we're not in France and two, are you out of your processor?"
Jazz actually pouted. "But it's tradition!"
"In case you didn't notice, Halloween was nearly three months ago," Ironhide frowned.
"But Prowl wants me to, don't ya Prowlie?"
"Um…" Prowl stared at his husband now clinging to his arm.
"I think he's finally nesting," Ratchet announced as he joined the group.
"How does a request for sexual role playing equal nesting?" Ironhide demanded affronted.
"Derp," came from Optimus.
"Right. Come on you two," Will spoke loudly snagging both Sam and Mile's elbows. "We didn't get breakfast yet. Now's a good a time as any."
The two boys were glad to be pulled away in lieu of food and Barricade's shoulders relaxed as Sam disappeared down the stairs. "You can't avoid him for forever," Soundwave spoke quietly to his friend.
"Tell me about it," Barricade groaned. "Especially when we're all stuck on this gaudy tub with nowhere to go."
Soundwave frowned at the word "tub" but let it pass for another time. "You can't avoid him either," he stated with a small tilt of the head. "Optimus' good intentions for getting you two to 'mend the broken fence' aside you'll have to speak to him sooner or later and get any and all misconceptions straightened out. And from what I've heard, there are quite a few."
Barricade scowled as he glanced at Bumblebee who was trying to explain the "French Maid outfit equals sexy" idea to Skyfire. Their rather long avoidance of each other was visibly noticeable to the Autobots and it seemed they had decided to take the matter into their own hands and "fix the problem" whether or not it was any of their business… Well, all save Sunstreaker, and now Soundwave was getting in on the act. Barricade sighed. The best thing he could do was take himself out of the equation with regards to Sam and the blasted non-existent Link.
"I'll speak to the bug. Maybe he can speak some sense into the others about their 'good intentions'."
Soundwave frowned. "That wasn't what I meant and you know it."
"I know what you meant," Barricade hissed.
"You're going to have to face it head on sooner or later," Soundwave admonished him.
"Preferably later," Barricade snorted. "Like after we deal with Starscream and Thirteen and I'm well on my way to freedom."
Soundwave shook his head. "What are those phrases again that the humans so love? 'Blind as a bat' and 'stubborn as a rock'?"
"I'll talk to him!" Barricade snapped, startling the Autobots with his outburst as he whirled about and stomped towards the other end of the ship. "Hey Sunstorm! You ever heard of 'sky writing'?"
Barricade waited until it was completely dark out and he was more than certain that everyone had fallen into a peaceful recharge. Perceptor's snoring was a clear indicator that he was most defiantly asleep. Barricade waited a few hours more however just to make sure they were well and truly asleep.
Barricade sighed as he slowly wheeled around the sleeping Autobots. Everyone had taken to sleeping in their alt modes save for the sparklings so it was easy enough for Barricade to make his way to the other side of the deck and nudge the yellow car with his front bumper.
"Wha-?" Bumblebee murmured dazedly as he was nudged again for the third time.
"Wake up," Barricade ordered quietly. "We need to talk."
-To be Continued
Author's Note: /evil grin/ can you guess what I'm going to do next?
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Cover Me