Chapter 16: Chapter 16
"I missed you too, now why do you feel lost?" asked Kira
"I'm not really lost, it's more like confused" said Isis.
"Let me guess this has to do with Anakin and Luke" said Kira
Isis sighed
"I should have known by training Luke that I would eventually have to deal with Anakin" said Isis
"You're afraid to trust him again" said Kira
"Yeah I'm not sure if I could survive that a second time" said Isis.
"I want to trust him, because Luke does" said Isis
"But you can't because you keep denying to yourself how you feel for him" said Kira
"That's another thing that's confusing me, Anakin and I were just friends weren't we?" said Isis
"Only because you denied what you felt at the time for his sake, you didn't want to be a home wrecker there's nothing wrong with that" said Kira
"It's all tangled up inside, hell I don't even know what side I'm on anymore" said Isis
"We are on the side we've always been on, the lights do as you will but harm none remember?" said Kira
"Except in self defense it be, yeah I know, I killed Palpatine" said Isis
"I'm not sure if that counts as self defense, but defense of others definitely" said Kira "then why do I get the impression that its not over yet" said Isis
"Its not, he did have the cloning technology remember?" said Kira.
Isis sighed suddenly very worried.
"Though defense was part of your Jedi oaths as well as your preistess'vows" said Kira "yeah I know I remember them like it was yesterday" said Isis
"You didn't fail you know you strategized" said Kira
"Glad I did something right" said Isis
"You've done a lot of things right, now you need to do what's right for you" said Kira
"I don't know if I can love him without feeling like I'm still in second place to her ghost" said Isis
"That's only because she still holds a place in his heart but the heart is huge there's room for you as well" said Kira
Isis absently touched the amulet Obi wan had given to her for her birthday, so many years ago"
"You don't betray their memory by moving on Isis life is for the living" said Kira
"Then why do I feel like I am betraying something?" said Isis
"Sweetie the only thing your betraying is yourself and you've done that for so long you forgot how to stop believing your own lies" said Kira
"Let yourself love him, if he loves you, if he doesn't leave him for someone else but make your decision on what's right for you for once" said Kira.
Isis wiped her eyes what her friend said made perfect sense. She had been denying her feelings for so long she doubted them herself.
"What about the whole being the next emperor?' said Isis
"Peace can only be achieved without when there is first peace with in" said Kira
"Oh I see so what your saying is he could bring peace to the galaxy" said Isis
"You choose a leader for his heart, look to his past for your answers" said Kira
"And one with a broken heart cannot lead, I get it" said Isis
"He's as nervous about you as you are about him, the boy is right give him a chance" said Kira
"I will thank you Kira I appreciate your help" said Isis
"Anytime baby girl, anytime" said Kira
"Tell obi wan I said hi" said Isis
"He would rather do it in person but not right now" said Kira
"Take care of yourself, we love you" said Kira
"I love you guys too, blessed be Kira
"Blessed be Isis" said Kira.
Then her shade faded from view, Isis wiped her eyes and started back up the hill.
She reached the transport stop too late to catch the last one. So she started walking towards town. When she reached one of the small communities along the way. She stopped and got a map from a public data port. She read the map with dismay. She was on the far side of the city and it was at least forty miles to the hotel. On the bright side she would have plenty of time to mull over kira's words.
She had always suspected Anakin felt more than friendship for her. His relationship with Padme had allowed him to ignore those feelings. He had acted on them once but he had shown some very real remorse for the way he had done that. Like wise Isis was in a relationship with Obi wan at the time. She had cared for Obi wan a great deal. Maybe even loved him but his fear from a previous failed relationship kept it from going farther than lovers. At least on his part anyways.
She would have loved to have gotten married maybe had some kids but the Jedi rules forbid it. Obi wan was too much of a stickler for the rules. She had longed for a love that would set her soul on fire and make her want to shout it from rooftops. The way Anakin had felt about Padme. Maybe now he felt that way about her, who knows.
When they had both thought Obi wan was dead Anakin had used her, to let go of some of his frustrations no doubt. The restriction the council put on him must have made his relationship with Padme very hard to conceal. She knew the council had been trying to keep them apart back then so did Anakin. The only thing that worried her was what if his feelings for her were a product of some sort of rebellion.
One thing was for certain she didn't want to be used by him again, neither as a Padme substitute nor as someone to do his dirty work. If they were going to make a go of this he better really love her.
As for the killing Palpatine for them, it still made her feel used. This time however it did bring her some closure, now if only her dreams would. Yes Palpatine had been evil, the only true kind of evil. He definitely had deserved to die; just for the lives he had already taken himself. While killing him should have felt wrong, part of her was glad she had done it. She would rather the blood be on her hands then on Luke's. Though she did feel some remorse for having to kill him, it was only because she had no other choice.
The Jedi that had instructed them in the Jedi ways had said once.
"The day you no longer feel remorse for taking another's life, is the day you find yourself on the dark side" said the old Jedi.
She still didn't believe in the concept of the force being black and white. The being wielding it on the other hand, now that was a different story. She wasn't sure where any of them fell on that scale but she hoped it was closer to the white.
Her feet were beginning to hurt. So she took off her shoes. Angered at herself for choosing such impractical footwear. She had about fifteen blocks to go till she reached the street the hotel was on. The city seemed to be shut down this time of night. Isis glanced at her chrono it was almost three in the morning. Her feet were in agony by the time she had six blocks to go.
She did a healing spell and a refreshing one as well. The lack of sleep for the past two nights was taking its toll. She just wanted to sit down her legs hurt so bad. She was barely able to lift her legs to keep walking. She reached the street the hotel was on and hobbled into the lobby. A droid was at the counter. It watched her pass without comment. She pushed the lift button and stumbled inside when it opened. She hit the button for her floor and slid down the wall to sit on the floor. When it reached the floor she was forced to crawl off of it because she no longer had the energy to stand. She crawled down the hall and reached her door. She found she had left her key so she knocked softly.
Vader had come out of the exam rooms to find only Luke waiting for him
"Where is Isis?" said Vader
"She wanted to go for a walk" said Luke
"Was everything all right?" said Vader
Luke let out a sigh.
"I'm not sure she's having a few emotional conflicts with everything that's going on," said Luke
He was trying to make it sound like it wasn't them. Vader saw right through the attempt.
"She's still unsure about me, isn't she?" said Vader
. Luke nodded yes"father we should discuss this elsewhere" said Luke
"Yes of course we might as well return to the hotel" said Vader
"Are we done for today?" said Luke
"Yes son, now comes the hard part, my lungs are ready" said Vader.
Luke swallowed nervously.
"When's it scheduled for?" said Luke
"Tomorrow, its going to take most of the day, I've been told it's a delicate procedure" said Vader
. They were walking down the street. Vader kept glancing around as if he was trying to find her. He was uncharacteristically quiet for the whole walk.
In matter of fact he was all the way to the door to their room. Luke closed the door behind him.
"Father are you all right?" said Luke
"Yes I'll be fine son, I'm going to meditate for awhile" said Vader
"She'll come back, she promised she would" said Luke
"What all did she say?" said Vader
"Just that she was having trouble sorting out her emotions and then she asked about some planet, why?" said Luke
"What planet?" said Vader
"Byss, why?" said Luke
"Did she say why?" said Vader
"No why where is Byss?" said Luke
"Near the core, it was one of Palpatine's throne worlds, I also had a house there for awhile" said Vader
"Why would she ask about that?" said Luke
"I don't know but I intend to find out" said Vader
"I'm sure she can handle herself dad," said Luke.
"I'm going to go meditate perhaps the force will divulge some answers." said Vader.
He went into his bedroom and sat on the bed. Sinking slowly into a trancelike state. Luke's words had disturbed him. Byss was one of Palpatine's secret strongholds, how had Isis known about it. Was that what was disturbing her sleep?
He had to know so he sought out Byss through the force. He found it unusually active and it further disturbed him. Then someone pushed him out, expelling his mind from it scrying. Vader blinked open his eyes and glanced at the chrono. Four hours had passed it was now close to midnight. Vader uncurled himself and stood up, walking to the door.
. Luke was practicing some katas in the living area.
"Well did you get any answers?" said Luke
"None that reassure me, has she not returned yet?" said Vader
"No not yet" said Luke
Vader closed his eyes and reached out for Isis with his mind. He found the communication blocked on her side.
"I'm sure she's fine father." Said Luke
"Then why is she blocking me?" said Vader.
"She just needs some time father" said Luke
"Son it's been almost nine hours since she left the clinic, I'm worried" said Vader.
Luke turned off his saber; it was obvious he wouldn't be able to concentrate until his dad was a bit calmer.
"Maybe she got lost?" said Luke
"Or left us both" said Vader
"She wouldn't do that father, besides I would know if she did" said Luke
"if she were lost she would have at least called" said Vader
"Unless she was too embarrassed to admit it" said Luke
"that sounds like something she would do, but no you wouldn't know if she left us" said Vader
"Why not she is a Jedi isn't she?" said Luke
"Yes she is but a more unique one you'll never find," said Vader
"How so?" said Luke.
The boy sounded confused so Vader clarified for him.
"For one she has no force signature unless she is experiencing some strong emotion" said Vader
"Oh I see that is weird" said Luke
"Yes and rare enough the council trained her in her teens, when they balked about training me at nine" said Vader
"Oh but she didn't seem to have a problem training me at sixteen" said Luke
"Knowing my Isis she was probably the only one advocating you're training in the first place" said Vader.
Luke frowned she had said something like that, so maybe dad was right.
"Your right they didn't want me trained at all, she said so" said Luke
Vader snorted in contempt,
"Why am I not surprised?" said Vader
"Since we are on that subject matter what did she tell you about me?" said Vader
Luke hesitated he didn't want to offend his dad.
"Go ahead son be honest I want to know what she thinks of me" said Vader
"She said you were a Jedi but you were misguided, that you were so busy trying to save mom that you forgot to save yourself" said Luke
Vader put his head in his hands and wiped them down his cheeks to his chin.
"She said that?" said Vader
"yes, she did, I don't think she ever hated you if that's what your afraid of" said Luke "yes son it is, of all the people I've ever known it was her that I never wanted to anger" said Vader
Luke snorted "tell me about it" said Luke
Vader looked questionably at his son. "She has a temper dad, a bad one" said Luke
"You were fool enough to test it I see?" said Vader.
He sounded amused by his son's admission.
"Well Palpatine did too and look where it landed him" said Luke
"Yes, fortunately with you she cared enough to restrain herself" said Vader
"You're worried if you push her she won't hold back with you?" said Luke
"No son I'm more worried that if I do push her she'll run and it will take another seventeen years for her to cool down again" said Vader.
"Why what did you do to her to make her so angry with you?" said Luke.
Vader looked away, a profound sense of shame overtaking his heart.
"Some of the most awful things I've ever done" said Vader
"At the time I thought I was helping her that I was doing it for love, I was lying to myself" said Vader
"So why did you really do it?" said Luke
"For revenge for jealousy, she had with Obi wan what I wanted with Padme, or at least I thought she did" said Vader
"What did she have, or you thought she had?" said Luke.
He sounded confused to Vader. Perhaps he was she doubted she had ever told him about hat part of her life.
"She was dating Obi- wan, openly with the councils permission, they wanted her loyal to them, they didn't care what methods they used to achieve this" said Vader
"So what does that have to do with you?" said Luke
"Son at the time relationships of any kind were strictly forbidden with in the Jedi order" said Anakin
"Oh, so you and mom were?" said Luke
"Hiding our relationship, we even wed in secret," said Vader.
"Oh I see" said Luke
"Plus to top the whole thing off I was training her as well" said Vader
"Which placed you in a position to watch everything" said Luke.
"Yes and I started to develop feelings for her even back then" said Vader
"So you do love her?" said Luke
"Always have and always will she's a hard woman not to fall for" said Vader
"I'm going to go look for her" said Vader
"Father I'm sure she is fine" said Luke
"Well I am not, the Jedi are still wanted all over the galaxy Luke" said Vader
"She said she had a bounty on her head, did you do that?" said Luke
"Yes and no, Palpatine initiated it, I was the one who specified alive and unharmed" said Vader
"What was the amount?" said Luke
"Why thinking of collecting it?" said Vader
"No but worried someone else might" said Luke
"Remind me to rescind that order as soon as I'm emperor" said Vader
"For the record it was a million and a half credits, the same that was offered for you" said Vader
"Whoa!" said Luke in shock.
"now I'm going to look for her call me if she appears" said Vader
"Good idea, call me if you find her" said Luke.
Vader looked at the chrono it was nearly four in the morning. He headed for the door and paused suddenly.
"What, what is it?" said Luke.
Vader held up his hand in a gesture for silence.
"Someone knocked at our door," said Vader.
Luke walked over to it and opened it. Isis collapsed into the room and he barely caught her before she hit he floor.
"Isis what happened?" said Anakin.
He moved forward to help Luke carry her to the couch. Luke set her on the sofa gently.
