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Star of the Sea	By : KiwiGirl Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (All) > General Views: 3326 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Pirates of the Caribbean movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Star of the Sea
- 2-Shadows
- 3-Visitor
- 4-Betrayal
- 5-Purpose
- 6-Guidance
- 7-Payment
- 8-Return
- 9-Amber
- 10-Empty
- 11-Unnatural
- 12-Anger
- 13-Knowing
- 14-Walls
- 15-Resignation
- 16-Truth
- 17-Fear
- 18-Trust
- 19-Intent
- 20-Ready
- 21-Entwined
- 22-Duty
- 23-Time
- 24-Destiny
- 25-Knowing
- 14
- 15
- 16
She had slept. Though any other
time with any other man she would have immediately left. But this time she had
remained, to sleep in the Captains big bed, a sleep without restless waking,
without dreams. She roused as the sun touched her face, early morning light.
Jack was awake, half sitting, half lying his back resting against the pillows
the sheets bunched around his waist, he was staring at the ceiling. His face
was serious, none of the laughter, the mischief, the cunning calculation that
she identified with him visible. Nothing of the face that he wore for the
world, only the face that he was, gentler, younger, softer; she felt an odd
tightness in her chest as she watched him. He had held her close during the
night, his body wrapped around hers, she remembered that now, recalled how
rather than feeling trapped, suffocated, imprisoned, she had felt safe. He was
a complicated man this pirate, she studied him committing his face to memory,
without recognizing what she was doing. Sensing her he looked up, a question in
his eyes.

An awkward pause as if neither quite knew what to say and then he reached to
tug a curl from her lashes. She caught his hand before he touched her, fingers
wrapping around his wrist, she had meant to gently push him away, to establish
some distance again. She had wanted him, needed him to understand, desired him
to free what lay behind that closed off part of her and he had not, she was a
realist, she was different from other women. But just this once she had wanted
to be the same to let someone truly touch her soul. But perhaps it was just an
impossible dream. She had chosen the path, she had known that it was one that
seemed to be walked alone, but he was different from others and she had
hoped�without realizing or knowing but she had hoped. Foolishly she had hoped.

She had meant to push his hand away, but he had looked at her and instead she
had found herself touching her lips to his palm, to kiss his fingers, sucking
each into her mouth watching him. His other hand reached out to her, to pull
her towards him, and willingly she went.

*

Hours later Jack turned from the small window, the sun was well past it�s
height, he should go up top, check that all was it should be, but he did not
move. Behind him she lay, sprawled across the bed her hair fanning out where he
had carefully slid out from underneath her. This time she had wept, wept when
that wall had slammed down. Wept in frustration, explaining something that was
unexplainable but telling him that it was not as she wanted and he had nodded,
not really understanding just wanting to reach behind the barrier. For it was a
barrier, a wall that came between them, though they had been as close as two
people could be she still was removed from him. He needed to know her as she
knew him. Not to possess, not to own, but just to be. That was all that he
wanted of her.

If it been any other woman, any other place he would have patted her shoulder,
kissed her lips and said a few charming words and been gone. But he had instead
held her against his chest, held her as she had wept and listened to her try to
explain something that he could not hope to understand. He wondered why Tia
Dalma had sent her on the Pearl. She was supposed to find something and he
found himself hoping that whatever it was, that it would remain lost for some
time yet. And that was stupid. If he had any common sense left he would be
putting as much distance between himself and her as he possibly could. But
instead he hoped that it would be lost until they could be found. He shook his
head, that made no sense, no sense at all.

He needed to go up on deck, to clear his head, to stand in the wind, to feel
the spray on his face, to ground himself in what he knew was real, he pulled
the covers up over her smoothing them before he quietly left.

On deck it was the same as always, though it felt as though things should have
been dramatically different, so much had shifted, so much was not as it had
been, but Anna Maria was at the wheel, Gibbs was standing next to her talking and
they both looked sharply at him, then casually looked away. They did not miss a
trick those two, but unless he said they would not ask, though he could see
from Gibbs pursed lips that he did not approve, Jack wondered how long it would
be before his first mate tried to be subtle, to warn him off. Any other time it
would have been amusing, any other time he would have delighted in teasing the
other man but things were not as they were, he was not as he had been. One part
of him wanted to be that which he had known, the other wanted to reach for
whatever it was that could be, regardless of consequences.

�Captain� Anna stepped away from the wheel and he took his rightful place,
standing firmly, legs planted, both hands resting lightly, eyes on the horizon,
his head tilted back so that the rising wind brushed across his face. A change
was coming; he could feel it, smell the rain on the air.

*

It was the smell of fresh bread that woke her; she did not immediately open her
eyes but lay thinking for several minutes. Jack was in the room, she could
sense him, he was sad and she knew that he was studying her. She should have
woken earlier, she had heard him leave and it was then that she should have
gone to her own bed, why she had not she did not really know. The more she
lingered the more she risked, nothing but pain would come of this. He was
pirate, he had his own agenda, she had her own tasks and what her soul was
yearning for, had reached for was impossible. It was time, before she weakened
again. Slowly she opened her eyes, it was dark the only light in the cabin
coming from the candle on the table. Jack was sitting feet up, bread in one
hand, bottle in other watching her. His eyes were sad and though she meant to
get dressed, to go back to her cabin and keep well away from him, instead she
found herself pulling on her shirt before going to him. To sit opposite him,
and take a bite from the bread that he offered to her.

�You are sad Jack�

�Aye luv that I am.� He was watching her eyes and she knew that he had
understood her intentions, known that she would leave.

�Why do you care?�

�I don�t know, life was simpler before you were foist upon me� and he did not
say what he was thinking, that he had felt like something was almost within
reach, something magical but he did not say it.

�It will be again Jack, when I am gone�

�Keep telling yourself that Star of the Sea?�

He was right, but she could not say that, to say it would be to recognize. He
had touched but not unlocked and that was why she could not stay. For she could
not give only part of who she was, not to him. He was worth more than that,
deserved more than that. It was all or nothing and if it could not be all then
it must be nothing.

�I am sorry Jack�

He stood up, running a hand over his face, looking as if he was going to speak,
then sighing, leaning to pick up his bread and rum, walking from the cabin,
closing the door quietly.

Alone Maia dressed and wept.
- 14
- 15
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Star of the Sea