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Reconciliation
By : LexiLupin
Category: Star Wars (All) > AU - Alternate Universe
Views: 3594 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars; I make no money.
Chapter List
- 1-Reconciliation
- 2-Part 2
- 3-Part 3
- 4-Part 4
- 5-Part 5
- 6-Part 6
- 7-Part 7
- 8-Part 8
- 9-Part 9
- 10-Part 10
- 11-Part 11
- 12-Part 12
- 13-Epilogue
- 12
- 13
Epilogue
Three Months Later
She sat silent vigil by his bed around the chrono those first couple days, when his survival had been most uncertain, refusing to go spend the time in bacta that her uncle and brother insisted she needed after her duel- and near death- at Brakiss' hands. Zekk's near death had been much nearer than hers, she thought bitterly, so why should she run off to heal when they still couldn't say with certainty that he would survive.
When he woke up on the third day after a continuous healing trance and several dips in a bacta tank, and had the gall to rasp out that she looked terrible… then she relented.
And now, ten days later, fully healed with the only reminder of injuries being the slightly pink tint to her skin that accompanied prolonged bacta exposure, she stood out in the cool evening jungle air, listening to the sounds of hundreds of forest creatures and insects. From above, one could see large swaths of burnt canopy from where fighters had crashed- but her favorite place to stand and survey the jungle, one of the places she had taken Zekk when they were embroiled in memory and emotion… it was gone, blasted away by the detonator planted in the upper levels of the temple.
The reconstruction effort would begin soon, once the last of the injured were fully healed, and the students were given a month to go home and spend time with their families if they so wished. After all, not all healing was physical, as Jaina and Jacen- and Zekk- had learned the hard way three months prior.
Speaking of whom… a warm tingling alerted her to the approaching presence, and she felt him stop a meter or so behind her and over her shoulder.
"Nice night."
"Hm," she murmured, still not turning but lightly brushing his mind with her own warm touch, motioning him silently forward to come stand by her.
For a long time, they shared a comfortable silence. A sense of anxiety was beginning to drift into his mind though, and she nudged him, urging him to say whatever he had come out here to say.
"You're mad at me."
"No."
"You're sad then."
She finally turned her head slightly to look at him, lips quirking lightly. "Maybe a little."
"I'm sorry."
Turning fully now, her resigned but accepting eyes met his hesitant ones. "Don't be," she murmured. "I knew you wouldn't stick around here forever."
He bit his lip. "I'm not running away."
A rueful smile crossed her features. "Don't be ridiculous; if you were running away, you'd have been gone long before the Shadow Academy attacked. I know you, Zekk… you had to see it through, and you knew they'd be coming… that's why you stayed. But now that you've stood up to Brakiss, now that you've proven yourself against the dark side… proven that you've come out stronger for what you've been through… there isn't anything left for you here."
With a sigh, he sat on the grass, damp with the jungle humidity. "It sounds really harsh when you say it like that. And there's plenty left for me here. I have great friends here- I have you here. This just… isn't what I need right now, and Master Skywalker agrees."
"Has he chosen a Master for you yet?"
A deep chuckle rumbled from his throat, and the faintest stirrings of butterflies made themselves known all too well in her stomach at the sound. "You'll like this," he laughed. "He didn't even ask… Master Katarn volunteered."
"Master Katarn?" she repeated, a small smile touching her lips again. "There's a great story… master and apprentice, first met fighting each other on Kashyyyk…"
"Yeah, it's funny, but… he and I have an understanding, I guess."
They reflected on their thoughts silently for another few minutes, Jaina eventually settling down on the ground beside him and resting her head on his shoulder. "When do you leave?" she murmured.
"Two days; early."
A wave of resigned sadness emanated from her, and he hesitantly put an arm around her shoulders. After her initial waking, when he had held her while she cried, they had maintained a respectable distance, physically and emotionally, as much for each other as for her brother and uncle, and her friends who would just never understand everything they had been through. For the first time in three months though, he found he didn't particularly care what the others thought; he had fought alongside the Jedi against the Shadow Academy, had killed Brakiss- saving Jaina's life in the process, probably- and if that didn't redeem him in their eyes, nothing would. And now, Jaina was sad, and he wanted to be the one to comfort her.
"I'll miss you," she said softly.
Night was falling over the moon, a soft glow settling on the treetops, lighting up the ruined temple with an eerie orange cast, compounded by the hovering gas-giant of Yavin high above them. He twisted his head around and leaned over, kissing the top of her head softly as he tightened his hold around her. "I know," he whispered. "And I'll miss you too. But we'll see one another much more often than we did when I was back on Coruscant; I promise."
"I'll hold you to that," she teased, eyes glinting mischievously. "Now come on- let's go sneak into the kitchens and steal some cocoa."
X-X-X-X
The next night, Zekk packed his meager accumulation of possessions into a small travel bag before sitting heavily on the small bed, sighing heavily. His time on the Yavin moon had been… calming, peaceful, healing… well, until the attack two weeks prior, anyway. He had talked and worked with Master Skywalker at length, astounded at the man's understanding and compassion, humbled to even be allowed to participate in the training exercises with the other Jedi.
But there was still too much of a divide between him and the other students. He had trained quickly and intensely- and consequently, taking many shortcuts- with a dark Jedi, had learned how to be a ruthless killer before he even learned how to properly control his mind. Brakiss had good reason to train him that way, Zekk realized- he wanted to see Zekk's every emotion, had wanted to be able to use them against him as he pushed him further and further down a slippery path.
And so he had forsaken the dark path, but it left him a little confused and lost inside, and he knew that he needed something else, a more specialized way of reconciling the gaps in his knowledge and education. He needed a private Master, and Kyle Katarn had volunteered to step up to the challenge. Zekk was most grateful to the man, but a little nervous of what was to come- but he accepted the unknown, took it as a challenge, and steeled himself for adventures ahead.
A soft tap sounded at his quarters, and he berated himself for being so inflective as to miss the approaching presence; a quick probe in the Force, and an answering touch from the wry mind of the person outside told him it was Jaina, and he smiled. Striding quickly towards the door, he pressed the release pad and it slid open.
He started in surprise at the sight of her. It was late, and she looked more like she was going to bed than roaming the cool corridors of the lower temple levels- the ones that remained stable after the blast. She wore a light tunic that barely reached her knees, her hair- usually wild from being constantly swung out of her eyes- was hanging in a long, straight sheet around her face, soft and freshly washed, he guessed. Her light brown eyes held a warm look, tinged with a slight bit of mischievousness, he thought and maybe something else… anticipation, or nervousness perhaps.
"Good evening," he murmured, still taking in her appearance. "It's late; I thought you'd gone to bed."
She shrugged. "I was going to, but…" she glanced around once. "Can I come in?"
"Oh," he stepped aside, feeling suddenly rude. "Of course."
She did so, and stood in the center of the room for a moment, taking in the barrenness of the place- not that it had looked so very lived-in before. That same feeling of sad resignation emanated from her, but it was more subdued than the prior evening. "Are you excited to start your apprenticeship?" she asked.
His brow rose, lips quirking. "Excited, nervous… sure. But," he frowned lightly down at her, "that's not why you're here."
She grinned. "Your feelings serve you well."
"You're blushing." What had started as a pink tinge of her cheeks erupted into a full-scale redness and she turned away, embarrassed. "Hey," he smiled softly, "we're a little past that abashed phase with each other, aren't we? Come on… what's up?"
Her face set in a determined line and she met his eyes steadily. "I came to be with you tonight."
"Sorry?"
"It's your last night here; I want to spend it together, like we used to back on Coruscant."
Now he went a little red too and glanced down at the floor for a moment, brow furrowed in consternation. "I don't know if that's… a good idea."
"Why not?"
He sighed, mildly impatient. "Because back on Coruscant, we were kids, and even when we were older, Jacen was always there too."
"So you're saying I can stay if Jacen comes too?" Her tone was lightly teasing, but he sensed an underlying confusion at his reticence.
"I'm saying," he turned away and faced the wall, "that we aren't innocent kids anymore; you're fifteen, I'll be seventeen soon, and we have a relationship that completely defies description and definition, but is decidedly not innocent."
"That sounds like regret talking."
He turned back again, frowning. "It's the truth, however you choose to take it."
The Force wasn't needed to know that his words stung her a little bit. She seethed silently for a minute before finally replying with her own barbed words. "I'm not propositioning you here, Zekk; I want to sleep with you, not sleep with you. I may have forgiven you long before it actually happened, but it'll take me a lot more than three months to get over being tortured and raped."
A shadow crossed over his face and he turned sharply away to stand by the small window, leaning his head against the stone wall. He immediately sensed that she regretted the comment, though it took her a couple of minutes to put voice to the emotion.
"I'm sorry," she finally murmured, hesitantly approaching him and touching a soft hand to his arm. "I didn't mean it like…"
"I understand just fine," he said shortly.
"No," she insisted. "It's just… you said our relationship isn't innocent anymore, and maybe it isn't, but… you're really worried about how it would look to other people if they knew that we spent a night alone in your quarters, not whether it would be 'proper' or some such; because you should know that it would be because it will be a long time before I can… think about you like that."
He sighed. "I just feel like I'd be betraying Master Skywalker's confidence after he… took me in, helped me, trusted me."
She laughed, that soft peal that always made his insides twist pleasantly. "I don't think my uncle would begrudge two old friends the chance to be together during their last hours before one leaves for an indeterminate amount of time." A look of uncertainty flashed across her face. "But if you're really that uncomfortable, I'll go."
"No, Jaina…" She had almost turned completely around to leave before he grasped her hand and pulled her close to him. Slowly, he brought a hand to her cheek, skimming her soft skin lightly as her eyes drifted closed at the sensation. "You know how I feel. I only worry because I do care for you so much." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead softly. "You can stay."
"Do you want me to though?"
Hesitating a moment, he tilted her face up towards his and smiled, before leaning forward once more and kissing her lips softly, barely ghosting his mouth over hers. "Yes."
Perhaps it wasn't entirely proper, he thought ruefully as she removed the tunic, revealing sleep shorts that showed off far more of her toned legs than he was used to, and a tan undershirt that stopped a few centimeters above the waist of the shorts, uncovering just enough of her slim midriff to intrigue him. And perhaps, due to the small size of the bed, it wasn't wholly innocent, the way he held her close and enjoyed the feel of her body pressed warmly against his as they spoke in low tones before drifting into a comfortable slumber, her first and him following minutes later.
But that was just how things were, and would remain between them for some time. He had put her through too much for them to have a clear understanding of what path their relationship would take; but whatever path that ultimately was, he would be there for her in whatever way she needed.
X-X-X-X
It looked as though smoke were rising from the earth as Jaina stared out over the field where Kyle Katarn's blastboat lay waiting; the rising sun was searing the dew on the grass as it crept over the field, creating a misty fog that gave the entire scene an ethereal feel to her. Beside her, hand clasped in hers, Zekk stood silently, sad but excited, resigned but nervous… he wanted to leave, to allow himself the time and space to grow, but he didn't want to leave her- even though she probably needed that same time and space.
The tingling of an approaching presence drew his attention back to the present; he made to pull his hand from her grasp but she held tight and he relented, glancing sidelong at her as Master Katarn himself stepped into view, a large travel case slung over his shoulder. His eyes flickered ever-so-briefly down to their joined hands, and a brow quirked, but he did not comment.
"The problem," he said wryly, dropping the heavy case to the ground, "is that this is the first time in years that I've stayed in one place long enough to actually unpack things from my ship." Leaning in conspiratorially to the two of them, he whispered, "I'll be perfectly honest; I kind of liked it."
Jaina grinned. "Good. You should come back occasionally then."
Katarn glanced meaningfully at their hands and smiled wryly. "Somehow, I get the sense that we'll be finding reasons to return to Yavin, Jaina, whether I want to or not."
She flushed lightly and he grinned roguishly at her before beckoning Zekk to come bring his own things aboard the ship. They left Jaina standing there, blinking against the brightening light, sensing the approach of her brother and uncle who came to bid the newly formed team safe travels.
When Zekk and Katarn reemerged from the ship to say their own farewells, Jaina felt the first hint of tears prickling in the corners of her eyes. Jacen sensed her discomfort and touched her shoulder comfortingly before moving away to shake the Jedi Master's hand and wish him well.
Zekk shared a lengthy and private goodbye with Luke, who spoke to him in low tones a few meters away from the rest of the group. Jaina saw Zekk nod a few times and smile, and a sense of confidence and pride radiated from her uncle as the teen stepped away from him and gave Jacen a half-hug, half-handshake.
When he got to her though, her mouth was dry, her words stuck in her throat, her tongue wouldn't move from the top of her mouth as she fought back the tears.
"How do you like this," Zekk murmured. "For once, I'm the one leaving." She laughed, but it was half-sob as well, and he sighed sadly. "We'll see each other soon, Jaina. You're my anchor, I need you to keep me grounded."
"That's what Master Katarn is for now," she choked out, but smiled wryly. "Be a good apprentice, Zekk; listen to your Master, and don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"You wouldn't listen to your Master if your life depended on it," he pointed out. A few meters to his side and slightly behind, Katarn must have heard him, because he grinned and turned away to continue his conversation with Luke. "But I promise that I will… be safe."
"I guess that'll have to do."
For a long moment, they stood staring at each other unblinkingly, despite the hot and bright sun shining down on them. Then, with an entirely anticlimactic sigh, Zekk muttered, "Well… goodbye then."
The tears started to build up more forcefully, but she still pushed them back, willed herself not to lose control. "Goodbye," she whispered, moving forward to wrap her arms around his waist. "I'll see you when I see you."
Chuckling softly, he tightened the hug for a moment before pulling away with effort and turning, knowing that he needed to force himself to go or he never would. He made it about halfway across the field to the blastboat, Katarn leading the way, before her voice rang out through the foggy morning air.
"Zekk- wait!"
He turned, and Katarn stopped and waited patiently. Jaina was hurrying across the field, a desperate look on her face, and he took a few strides forward to meet her. She threw herself into his arms and clung to him for a long moment, head resting against his chest.
Eventually, she pulled away and looked up, and it tore at him to see her red eyes, the first tears finally spilling over onto her cheeks. She smiled though, a peacefully serene look. "I couldn't let you leave without telling you… Zekk… I love you too."
It didn't matter that the 'too' referred to his panicked words from three months earlier when he thought she wasn't waking up from her self-induced mental prison; he knew exactly what she meant, and knew that she was entirely sincere, just as he had been, despite his fear for her at the time.
Smiling broadly, Zekk leaned close to her ear and murmured, "I know." She laughed through tears and hit his arm playfully. "I love you, Jaina, and I will be back; and maybe then, we can figure out where we're supposed to go with a little more certainty."
She nodded, and he almost turned to leave again before deciding to take the plunge. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and waist and pulled her close to him. Her eyes widened slightly in surprise before he leaned down and captured her lips in a passionate kiss that defied everything they had been through, defied the pain and suffering, the confusion and uncertainty… and when he pulled away, her eyes were bright and her face relaxed, and he knew it was time to go.
He turned for the last time, burning the image of her standing there on his brain, knowing that it would be his incentive to return; because, despite the happiness in her expression, in her mind, there were still tears running down her face. And Jaina Solo didn't cry for anyone- except him.
And he was going to make sure that it never happened again.
Fin
- 12
- 13
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Reconciliation	By : LexiLupin Category: Star Wars (All) > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 3594 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars; I make no money.

Reconciliation