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More Than Eyes Alone Can See	By : Psnoo17 Category: M through R > Once Upon A Time In Mexico Views: 1450 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time in Mexico, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-More Than Eyes Alone Can See
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-14
- 14-15
- 15-16
- 16-17
- 17-18
- 18-19
- 19-20
- 20-Index of Quotes
- 11
- 12
- 13
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�In our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop until against
our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of
God.� Tess awoke with a start from
the dream. It wasn�t that it had been a
nightmare, but that it had struck much too close to home for her comfort. It was bad enough having nightmares without
having dreams that tried to justify themselves.
�I never did like Aeschylus,� she muttered to herself, thinking of the
quote that had awoken her. There was
something about regarding pain as a form of God�s grace that disturbed
her. He was fully dressed for the first time since
the Day of the Dead. His clothes weren�t
necessarily form-fitting, so his lean form lacked the aura of danger that had
covered him that day, but he was still a hard man to overlook. He was dressed in a pair of dark grey slacks,
a light grey t-shirt, and a blauit uit coat.
He had a cream colored hat on his head, and the brim, while somewhat
misshapen from being in a suitcase for so long, was still able to shade part of
his face.
�Did you hear me,
or are the voices in your head drowning out everything else?�
Was that a random insult, or does he suspect
something? To cover her discomfort
and preoccupation, she replied as best she could under the circumstances. �Most men are within a finger�s breadth of
being mad.�
�Is that a fact?�
Surely it isn�t right that anyone out of
their teens should be able to sound that
disbelieving. Something about the
drawl he had used sent shivers down Tessa�s spine. Or perhaps is was a mix of his tone and the
week�s worth of facial growth he�d had her shape into a crude goatee. It hadn�t looked as interesting when he�d
been drd ind in a pair of Looney Tune boxers and a tank top.
Again trying to
cover her lack of response, Tess nodded.
Her eyes were caught once again by the stars overhead, and another quote
she had memorized rose to the forefront of her mind. �Light thinks it travels faster than
anything, but it is wrong. No matter how
fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is
waiting for it.� She was unsure whether
she was talking about the stars or her own precarious mental state. �Let me get Lena, and
then we�ll be ready to go. Do you need
to use the restroom before we go?�
�Gee, ma, I think
I�m old enough to use the john before I wet myself.� Sands shifted his weight from one foot to the
other; the battered pair of running shoes he was wearing made scuffling sounds
against the wooden slats of the patio.
In a less mocking voice he added, �I�m not one of your adoptive orphans,
ni�a, so you can drop the act.� There
was a tone of warning to his comment, but it wasn�t obvious enough for Tess to
catch with hher her mind elsewhere.
Resisting the urge
to ask �what act,� she queried, �Do you have any family you want me to call to
come look after you?� Sands didn�t
answer, but his face and body grew very still.
Tess wa sev several more seconds before continuing, �Then you are someone I�ve taken in, and I�ve
already accepted the responsibility.
I�ll admit that you�re more capable of looking after yourself than the
children, but I do feel responsible for your well-being. It�s too late to change that.� There was a trace of wistfulness in her voice
that she and Sands identified at the same time.
Oh god. Why did that seem to carry more truth than I wanted
it to? Tess went into a momentary
panic that Sands would press her for more, but he didn�t. Not that she believed that he wouldn�t
later. Maybe it�s got something to do
with all those pills she takes day and night.
Too bad you can�t snoop in her medicine cabinet. Well, you can, you just wouldn�t be able to
read the labels.
Sands tried to
ignore the voice, irritated that it had decided to latch onto this topic. Avoidance of this very scenario had been one
of the reasons he�d spent so much time brushing up on his ability to remain a
part of the background while hearing everything of importance � well, that and
a knowledge that a thorough understanding of the layout of this new �beat�
could come in handy should any unwanted guests come knocking before they left.
Don�t
think that you were distracting me, Sands.
I was just waiting until I had your full attention. Conversationally, it continued. You know, you really screwed it up back
there, with Barillo and all. And most
people would say that having your eyes drilled out of their sockets with sharp
instruments is rather permanent.
Yourself included. I remember
when you were content to simply kill as many of the cartel as you could before
you bit the dust. But now you think that
a scatterbrained and most likely insane Mexican se�orita is going to be able to
help you change all that. The
voice let out a low, nasty chuckle. Well,
I�d advise you not to get your hopes up Shel-don. I think you, me, and the dark are going to be
on a first name basis for some time to come. There was a pause before it
continued. Of course, being blind in the U.S. is
better than being blind in some little town in Mexico. At least back home you can collect disability
and Welfare.
Fuck you.
You
fucked us both over a week ago when you had to go and share your plan with that
bitch you were bedding. Not your
smartest move.
�Ready to get
moving?�
Sands spun around
as if she had caught him off guard. As
he did so, he started to lost his balance, so it was with his arms flailing in
the arm that he demanded, �What the hell did you just say?�
Tess looked at her
patient oddly for a few seconds, amazed that she�d actually managed to startle
the master of surprise. She also
wondered just what he�d been thinking that had caused him to reply to her so
violently. �I know what I am fleeing
from but not what I am in search of.�
Who knew what was going on in that head that had so recently been blinded.
Was is her
imagination, or did the set of Sands� shoulders relax a fraction before he
said, �I don�t know what you�re trying to imply chiquita, but if you�re telling
me that you�redy tdy to go, then don�t let me stop you. You undoubtedly know the way to the car
better than I do.�
Careful not to wake
the baby on her shoulder, Tess shrugged and stepped off the low porch, her
footsteps firm. If Sands wasn�t going to
ask for help, she wouldn�t offer any.
Well, not beyond the cautionary warning she gave everyone who knew she
was here: �Be careful of where you step � there�s a lot of holes.� At some point in time, the grass behind the
house had actually been alive, but it had been allowed to grow freely. The result was a layer of tall, dead grass that
hid all the holes lying in wait for the unwary.
She herself had managed to twist her ankle the first week after she�d
moved in. Sands didn�t answer her, but
she noticed that he was walking directly behind her. Accepting this, she ground her feet into the
rocky earth, making her steps a bit more audible.

�So, where�d you go to school, se�orita?�
Tess glanced over
at the man half reclined in the passenger seat.
They�d left the city behind some twenty or thirty minutes ago. The highway that led down the Mexican coast
was mostly deserted, and the classical music she had playing on the radio
didn�t do much to relieve the silence coming from the back seat or the hum of
the car as is rolled over the pavement.
Returning her eyes to the road, she answered, �I went to school in the
states.�
From the corner of
her eye, she saw hiip hip her off.
�Yeah, you�d said that much already.�
�Then why are you
asking me again?�
�Let�s just say I
have nothing better to do than to poke my nose in your business.�
Tess was quiet for
a moment before commenting, �Of all men�s miseries the bitterest is this, to
know so much and to have control over nothing.�
That stung. It reminded Sands too much of his current
condition. He�d known all about the
cartel�s plans, and the movement of Marquez� army, and of �El�s� grudge. What he hadn�t known of was Ajedrez�
loyalties. Which brought him to his next
point. an>�an>�Knowledge is power, if you know
it about the right person.� Sands liked
that quote, considered it one of his creeds.
A person could get away with murder if only he knew the right information
about the right people.
�Knowledge without
conscience is the ruination of the soul.�
�I thought we had
already discussed that particular subject.�
Tess didn�t answer, which Sands assumed meane die didn�t have a quote
for that particular comment. He waited
for her to go on the defensive again, and when she didn�t he took that as
unwilling acceptance for him to question her.
�So, where did you go to school?�
�Harvard.� The word was pulled from her mouth as easily
as food is pulled from the hand of a starving man.
Impressed, Sands
raised his eyebrows, then regretted it as the move caused the fine cotton weave
of the bandages to send pathways of fire around and into his empty
sockets. Holding back a gasp, he asked,
�A Crimson are you?�
Tess didn�t like
the breathless qty tty to her patient�s voice, but knew another offer of
painkillers would be turned down. Sands
didn�t want to be hopped up on drugs, afraid that it would impair his mind and
senses. She understood, but disagreed; pain
could alter reality as surely as the most effective painkiller. �You could say that, although I was never one
for school spirit.� Maybe if I keep talking, he�ll settle down and be able to focus on
something else. Although if things get
worse, I�ll talk him into taking something.
�That�s not to say I didn�t go to a game or two. I just didn�t go to support the team.�
t�d t�d you go
for?�
�Let�s see . . .
.� Did she really want to tell him? She�d pulled some crazy stunts with Logan. �Once we ��
�Who�s �we�?�
clasclass=MsoNormal> �Me and Logan. Anyway, we snuck into the other team�s locker
room, and stole their mascot�s costume.
And another time we replaced half the baseballs for a play-off game with
balls we�d hollowed out and filled with . . . umm, I think we used PreparationH.� Her
companion was doing a poor job of smothering his laughter. �And one other time I went to provide the
get-away car after Logan had talked
a bunch of our friends into mooning the field-hockey team.� She laughed.
�Logan was the one who got
me started on my daily jogs. I
discovered I needed them to build up enough stamina to outrun angry athletes,
among other nearly felonious reasons.�
�Why,
chiquita. I didn�t know you had it in
you.�
Tess was focused on
passing a semi, so wasn�t thinking when she answered, �After so many years at
the compound I had a lot of stuff in me.
Mainly an overwhelming sense of freedom whenever it was granted. Not that it ever lasted long. I always had to go back.�
�Compound?�
Sands� voice wasn�t
necessarily loud or heavy with peril, but it carried a hint of suspicion that
was sharper than the finest scalpel.
Tess realized what she had just said, and cursed herself. The easiest thing to do would be to lie to
cover her tracks, but she found herself unable to do so. She owed this man more than lies, but the
truth would destroy any chance of helping him that she had. �Yes.
I told you that I was taken in by the cartel as a child. That wasn�t always the case. I remember living in a small town somewhere
near a forest as a young child, when I was three or four. But eventually my Father went to work for the
cartel, and that�s when I was moved from my home to the compound. For training, among other things.� All of this was true, just not detailed. Tess did remember living in a small village
somewhere on the edge of a rain forest-like area, and she remembered the move
to the cartel�s main compound. The only
obscure bit was the part about her father � she didn�t think it was wise to
mention that he�d become the new leaafteafter killing his uncle, and that he�d
decided that she could fill a role for his own successor. Barillo had always been one to look after the
long-term. How this man had managed to
throw a monkey wrench into his plans, she still couldn�t fathom. �Needless to say, it was a grim place to grow
up. And if you wanted to survive, you
grew up fast.�
�You knew Armando
Barillo? Personally?� Another tricky question. There was a more overt edge to his voice now,
one that warned her that she was balancing on a blade of ice. Well, Tess was used to precarious balancing
acts. She could handle this one.
es'> �No. I didn�t know him. I knew of him, but I was never close
enough to him to actually know him.�
Again, all true. Despite the fact
he�d donated half her genetic makeup, she�ver ver known the man. He�d held her at arm�s length, disgusted by
her for some reason she couldn�t fathom.
She�d seen how harsh he could be, how cruel, how unforgiving. But there had to have been more to the man
than that. There had to have been some
side of him that he had shown to Ajedrez that had made the other woman so loyal
and devoted to him. Tess just wasn�t
sure what that side was. �All the time
that I was with the cartel, I just tried to avoid him.�
After the first
time, that was. She�d been barely five
years old when she�d been summoned to the compound in the foothills of the
Sierra Madres. Her nurse had told her
that her father had asked her to come, that he finally wanted to meet his
daughter, and she�d been so happy. And
beinginnoinnocent, she�d run up to the man once he�d been pointed out to her,
and she�d tried to hug him. What she�d
gotten for her trouble was a broken wrist from being thrust away from the only
parent she knew of. She hadn�t even
cried, she�d been so stunned, so bewildered.
What had she done?
At times, Tessa
still wondered that. Twenty-five years
later, and she still couldn�t figure out what she�d done to be treated so
harshly. Maybe it was just some flaw
less visible than her blue eyes. A layer
of dirt that didn�t show on her dusky skin.
Some sort of invisible failing that followed in her very shadow. �Anyway, as you can imagine, I went a bit
wild with my first taste of freedom. It
didn�t matter that it was limited. It
was still better than anything I�d felt before in my life.�
�Are you telling me
that there�s a wild girl hiding somewhere under that professional exterior of
yours?� So full of twists, his little angel of death. Just as he thought that he had her figured
out � that he�d managed to ferret out all her motivations and thinking
processes � she added another jumbleyer yer to her psyche. Sands had never considered that she�d
actually been raised in the very bosom of the cartel. He�d thought that she�d been raised on some
marijuana farm somewhere, then had been sent away for training when it became
apparent that she had an aptitude or interest in medicine. But no, she�d spent her childhood is the
shadow of none othean tan the cartel leader himself. It made Sands wonder what she was capable
of. And she wasn�t helping him unravel
the puzzle.
When several
minutes went by without Tess answering his somewhat suggestive question, Sands
tried another approach. �So you don�t
follow the old team?�
�No. It�s hard enough to keep in contact with the
few friends I kept from college. I was
never much of a team player. It�s just
that sometimes I found it was better to be around others than it was to be
alone. Silence has a way of being too
loud at times.�

It was true that silence could be loud. Sands, istristract himself from the
discomfort that the drive was causing, questioned Tess about her background,
history, musical preferences, and scores of other topics. There were many questions that Tess chose not
to answer out of a feeling that doing so would endanger her plans to help
Sands. Others she ignored because she thought that an honest answer would
simply give away more than she was willing to reveal to this man. If he truly believed that knowledge of the
right people was power, then he obviously thought that she needed to be kept
under a tight rein.
His interrogation
had lasted most of the four hour drive, but it was the intermittent silences
that were distressing her the most. She
knew that with every question she didn�t answer, he gleaned something else
about her. She would have preferred he
didn�t talk at all, but the silence of the empty car was too much for her to
stand. So she had listened to the man�s
questions, and answered when it suited her.
It was with a
strong sense of relief that Tess pulled into the parking lot of a motel on
Mazatl�n�s outskirts. From its
appearance, she guessed that it was a step below a Motel 6. But it had cable and a pool � and most
importantly vacancies � so she parked the van and went inside to see about
renting a room.
Using her own fake
ID to get the room and using cash to pay for it, Tess returned to the van with
two room keys and several complementary bottles of water. Handing one to Sands in the front seat, she
said, �This seems to be as good a place as any to stay for a few hours until
it�s time to meet the plane at the airport.�
�What time are we
supposed to meet the plane?�
�Umm . . . four o�clock.
And it�s about five thirty
now. I thought this would be a good
place to keep the kids entertained. They
can swim, and watch TV. And you can get
some sleep.�
�I�ve gotten a bit
more sleep that you have, ni�a.� It
seemed as if he had spent more of the past week asleep than awake, and the
inactivity grated on him.
�I�m fine. Besides, I�ll be able to sleep on the plane.�
Of course she would
say that. �How many hours of sleep have
you had in the past two days?� If she
insisted upon being stupid, then the least he could do was give her hell for
being so.
Tess took a moment
to think about his question. Upon
reflection, the number was disturbingly low.
�How many,
chiquita? How many hours in the last
forty-eight have you spent with your eyes closed?�
�Seven or
eight.� Actually, eight hours was
pushing the limits of believability, but it sounded better than six.
�Tired people make
mistakes, ni�a. And now really isn�t the
time to risk being stupid.�
�And if I go to
sleep, who will watch the children? I
took them in for a reason, se�or.
They�re my ��
�Your
responsibility,� he interrupted. �You�ve
mentioned that a time or two. What good
are you to them if you start hallucinating because of sleep deprivation? You say you�re a doctor, so you should know
better than to run yourself ragged.�
�Not all
hallucinations are caused by a lack of sleep, se�or. And not all minds are fooled by tempting
voices. I�ll be fine. Do you want to stay here while I get the children
to the room, or would you like to join us?�
Sands
shrugged. Under normal circumstances, he
wouldn�t give a damn if la chiquita wanted to gamble with her mental
health, but these were anything but normal circumstances. He may not want to admit it, but his current
wellbeing depended on this woman keeping her wits about her. From what he could tell, this was a difficult
endeavor for her on a daily basis without throwing in a lack of sleep. Once he was safely back on US soil, he didn�t
care if she stayed up until she had mental breakdown � right now he had to make
sure she got in a nap at some point before they left for the airport.
�I�ll come with
you.� For the first time, Sands blessed
being in close quarters with this odd woman.
It would be easier to wear her down.
Or knock her unconscious.
Whatever the situation may call for.

Despite her resolution to remain awake for the nine or so
hours before they had to leave for the airport, Tess dozed off once or
twice. Sands, to her consternation, was
sticking close to the group. She�d
expected him to stay in the room, recovering from the drive and listening to
the news, or something like that.
Instead, he shadowed her down to the pool when the kids decided they�d
had enough of cartoons.
It was sitting by
the pool that had gotten her in trouble.
The kids were perfectly content to entertain themselves with water
games. The wife of the hotel manager had
dug out a small wading pool that she and Tess filled with a few inches of water
for Selena to play in. Sands was sitting
in a nearby deck chair, the bandages off of his face for the first time,
sunglasses firmly straddling his nose, suit coat left in the room in diffidence
to the warm sun. Unless someone removed
them, they wouldn�t know that he was blind; he appeared to be watching the kids
like any responsible adult would. Tess,
sitting in another chair � one that required one to lounge more than sit
upright � had dozed off as the sun made her comfortably warm.
The first few times
she had caught herself sliding towards sleep, she jerked her head upright, and
held her eyes wide open. Sleep wasn�t an
option at the moment. Just because she
had reason to believe that they hadn�t been followed from Cul�acan to Mazatl�n
was no reason to stop being vigilant.
The cartel still had employees in the area, and it was possible that one
or two of them would know her. After
waking herself up for the fifth time, Tessa had gotten up and walked around,
making several laps around the small courtyard.
It kept her awake for about ten minutes after sitting back down. Sleep had beckoned irresistibly though, and
Tess finally gave in, her eyes sliding shut against the sun�s glare.

The sun was
hot. It was always hot. But today it was worse. This morning she�d been caught without her
blindfold. Tess couldn�t have been more
than fourteen or so at the time, and she was well used to living without her
sight, but there had been a thunderstorm the night before, and she had thought
that just once � just once � it would be nice to watch lightning split the sky
without it being a punishment. She�d
waited until the height of the storm had passed, waiting for her father to show
up and remove the blindfold to make her watch, but he never came. With trembling fingers she had lifted the
scrap of silk-lined canvass from her eyes.
She was smart enough not to open them for several minutes. The blue-white bolts of electricity would fry
her retinas, causing more pain that was believable. When she had judged that enough time had
passed for her eyes to adjust, she�d opened them a crack. The storm was just passing over the
mountains, providing a dramatic backdrop to the craggy heights. It was beautiful. Almost worth being caught. The small rebellion had almost been worth it.
Or at least it
had been a few hours before. Now Teresa
had been out in the sun all day long without shade, water, sunscreen, or
relief. Her skin was red with sunburn,
her mouth was too dry for her to talk, and her head ached with the glare of the
sun on the white-granite courtyard. Her
head was fuzzy, her thoughts so scrambled that she could have sworn she was
hearing voices. Well, not voices
exactly, just the one that normally whispered in the back of her head. The one that spoke all the thoughts she tried
to hide from herself. Most of the time
she thought this was her conscience and that everyone had to put up with its
interfering. But now she wasn�t so sure.
Hello Teresa. She refused to talk back to herself. I know you can hear me. I know how bored you are . . . how
lonely. Why don�t you talk to me? I�ll be your friend. Tess didn�t reply, unsure about how one went
about telling a voice in your head that you didn�t want it there. Talk to me? She didn�t.
She wouldn�t. She no longer
thought this was normal. Perhaps this is
why her father didn�t love her. Don�t
you want to be my friendresaresa? No
she didn�t wantbe ibe its friend. If
you�re not my friend, then I�ll make you my enemy. I�ll make you your own enemy. Do you want that? Of course you don�t. Come play with me Tessa . . . come play with
me and ignore everything else. Come
play, come play, come play . . . .
No. No, she didn�t want to
play. She wanted to be normal. She wanted to be like everyone else. She wanted to be like her sister. �No.�

�No.� Sands heard the
quiet yet insistent desperation in Tessa�s voice.
�What�s wrong,
ni�a?�
�No. Go away.
Please. I don�t want to listen
any more.� She wasn�t talking to him and
her voice was getting louder. Cursing,
Sands pulled a gun out of his pant pocket, and demanded, �Kid, left or
right?� Ifn>If there was someone here who
had sent Tess into a panic, then they were in serious trouble.
�What are you
talking about, se�or?� It dawned on
Sands that while Tess sounded distressed, the kids were still playing. Their laughter and yells denied the existence
of a problem.
�Never mind, go
back to whatever you were doing.� The
woman was having nightmares again. Did
she ever manage to sleep and not have them? That was a stupid question coming from the
man who couldn�t remember the last time he�d woken up and not been in a cold
sweat.
Cautiously walking
forward, Sands advanced on Tessa�s position, pistol still at the ready just in
case there was some threat that the kids hadn�t identified. His shins banged into the edge of Tessa�s
chair. But before he could locate her
with his hand, she jerked upright in her chair, slamming into his arm; his
bullet wound complained at the rough treatment.
�Oh, God.� Sands got the impression that Tess was
praying, not cursing. �Not now. I can�t take it now.�
�Take what?� He heard a startled intake of breath. Had she really not noticed that she�d run
into him when she�d woken up? Or had the
blow been relegated to the realm of sleep?
�Nothing. I�m fine.
I�ll be fine.� Tess remembered
Sands suggesting that a lack of sleep would produce hallucinations. She>She remembered that she�d laughed. She�d laughed because he hadn�t understood
that she didn�t fear the hallucinations that came when she was awake. The hallucinations, the hallucination,
that she feared had come, had started one summer day in Mexico as she�d started
to fall asleep under the sun. And she
still hadn�t managed to wake up.
The voice in the
back of her head laughed.
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More Than Eyes Alone Can See