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Second Chances	By : ZombieWithANoose Category: 1 through F > Drop Dead Fred Views: 3130 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: We don't own Drop Dead Fred and are not making any profit/money off of this.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
Authors’ Notes:
zombierose3: I am now clinically insane after editing this monster. You will find me, myself, and I in the corner, weeping and talking to myself. (PS, I passed my state test so I can now update faster.) Please comment. We love hearing from you. :)
unleashthewords: Every author finds themselves at some point working on a project that takes all their will and alcohol to finish. This was mine. P.S. I’m just kidding but this chapter was a beast and I’m so happy it’s completed. I really hope you enjoy this chapter and I would love to read your comments.
Dirtyaim: Sooo… This one took a while because I don't know the meaning of slow burn. Seriously, I have issues. So all thanks goes to ZombieRose3 and Unleashthewords for getting this thing back on track and finally out to you lovely people. They are amazing, so leave them some love this chappie, k?
**Disclaimers: We don’t own Drop Dead Fred and aren’t using this for profit. We also do not own Charlie Brown, or Tangled, specifically the song “Mother Knows Best” (our chapter title) composed by Alan Menken with lyrics by Glenn Slater.
Chapter Ten
Mother Knows Best
(Six hours later, Thursday morning...)
Lizzie curled around her pillow, fingers clutching it in a death grip. Sleep was impossible. Her mind replayed her life up to this moment, and most of it made her cringe, but thanks to Fred she had a chance to make her life into something better. She wanted to be happy, but things were complicated.
Being an imaginary friend was better than being dead, but mastering magic in only thirty days was freaking her out. Lizzie had every confidence in Fred, but Damion had shifted her focus to something she had never considered possible.
Fred can be attracted to someone… and Damion thinks it’s me?
Lizzie buried her face into her pillow and screamed.
Why would Damion even bother telling me this? Just to mess with me? Ruin my training?
“Well, it’s working!” she yelled into her pillow. “Stupid, smug, condescending asshole!” Part of her hoped he heard every word. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling.
Normally, she would feel like crap from getting no sleep, but lack of sleep didn’t matter to her imaginary body. Instead, she felt like crap because of Damion’s big mouth. She felt confused and threatened, and now she didn’t know how to view her relationship with Fred.
“Why tell me?” she muttered, kicking at the bedcovers. “What‘s your game, you psycho?”
She thought back to that first kiss with Fred. It had been so simple, just a sweet goodbye, but with the knowledge he liked her, could it mean something else? She shook her head. Everything was open to interpretation, but there were several instances that could support Damion’s claim and she had picked them apart all night.
Fred had been so supportive and protective over her, but he had always been that way. Her death, however, had brought out traits in him she’d never expected. Since reuniting he had shared real details about himself, letting her see who he was beneath the crazy exterior. She remembered their conversation on the steps, when they had been holding hands. Fred had actually sounded like an adult. They had even talked without fart noises or insults, but something about their conversation nagged at her.
Had she and Fred flirted? She thought they had just been goofing around. Was she over thinking it? Recalling the stares they had given each other made her think she might not be imagining it after all. He’d been so affectionate, held her in the yard, on the stairs, and even kissed her cheek. Did Fred have feelings for her?
She closed her eyes and pictured Fred in her mind. That wild, red hair, his loud, green suit, and his crazy grin made her smile. She then imagined his look when he said he was attracted to her and her mouth went dry. He had been very convincing. Was Damion right?
Thinking over Damion’s warning just irritated her more at this blowhard in charge of her future. He was an imaginary, eviler version of her mother who wanted to control her and Fred. Mister Megabitch, as she lovingly decided to call him, wasn’t rooting for her to succeed. Was he vindictive enough to make her fail?
Feeling ill, Lizzie wrapped her arms around herself. She didn’t want to die… again. She needed to concentrate on passing Mister Megabitch’s ridiculous tests. How could she do that with this idea that Fred was attracted to her and she was… She didn’t know what she was.
“Ugh!” She covered her face with her hands. “I can’t pick this apart anymore or I’ll go insane! Or insaner! Whatever imaginary friends do! Just get some sleep, Lizzie, before you crack.”
Sighing, she closed her eyes and drifted off into a strange dream...

Lizzie ran down a dim hall that stretched on forever. There was no escape, no one to help her. Panicking, she hurried forward, desperate for a way out. A green door appeared in the distance, giving her hope, but it withdrew with every step she took. Her heart pounded. She didn’t know where it led, but she knew it would be her salvation.
Behind her, an evil cackle broke the silence. Lizzie jumped and glanced over her shoulder. Damion marched after her, dressed in one of her mother’s power suits, complete with heels.
“You’ll have to run faster than that, Miss Cronut!” He laughed louder. “You’ll never get to Fred if you run that slow!”
Gasping, Lizzie looked ahead and saw that the green door had opened and that Fred stood within its frame, dressed in nothing but his heart print boxers. He leaned against the doorframe, blew her a loud kiss, and winked.
“Hey, Snotface, get over here and we’ll go for a dip.” He suggestively waggled his brows.
Lizzie would have stopped in her tracks, but Damion still marched after her, wagging his finger. “There will be no dipping on my watch!” He pointed to a large, gold watch on his wrist.
A pink door appeared in the hallway and Enzo popped his head out. He wore the little dress Lizzie had worn in her last dream. “Run, Elizabeth! You can do it! Get your man!” He waved a teacup as she passed.
“I just want to get out of here!” she yelled, trying to reach Fred, who posed in his boxers, shaking his hips at her.
“Come on, Lizzie, you can get into my jockeys.” He winked at her, pulling at the elastic band.
“What? No! That is not helpful!” She ran toward him despite this weird side of Fred.
“No dipping!” Damion yelled. “I will not have it!”
“I am not dipping anything into anything!” Lizzie hollered. The green door seemed just a little closer now.
“Ah, come on, Lizzie, we’re both adults now. Let’s get acquainted!” Fred waved his hand and the boxers disappeared. Shrieking, Enzo flung his teacup and jumped in front of Fred.
“No! You cannot violate my dear Elizabeth’s innocent eyes! She is a lady, like her mother, and by mother I mean me!” Enzo did his best to block Fred’s naked body from her view.
“What is happening? We’re just… friends! I don’t want to dip anything with him!” Twenty feet stood between Lizzie and the door and Fred kept trying to dodge a frantic Enzo.
“We’re more than that, Lizzie. We have a  connection . Don’t you want to feel that up close?” Fred crooked his finger at her and Enzo elbowed him in the ribs.
Lizzie stopped. The hall, Damion, and Enzo disappeared, leaving her in the dark. She gasped, realizing it was the moment Fred had kissed her goodbye. She wore the same plaid jacket and skirt, and Fred wore his trademark green suit. They stood so close and all she could see was how sad he looked because they were saying goodbye.
“Just kiss me and say Drop Dead Fred,” he said, quietly.
Lizzie knew what would happen next, she remembered every detail as it played out.
“Now,” he said, when she hesitated.
Lizzie kissed his lips and everything flooded back, engulfing her senses. The warmth of his skin, his soft lips. The whisper of his sigh. The feelings of sadness and loneliness because he was leaving her. Mixed with all these, this small moment held happiness. It was right. They embraced, and Lizzie clung to him, knowing he was going to disappear.
“Don’t go,” she whispered, holding on as tight as she could.
“I’ll be back, Lizzie, I promise,” he said, stroking her back.
“You really promise?” she asked, eyes squeezing shut.
“Yes, I swear I’ll be back and this time nothing will keep us apart,” he whispered in her ear. “We have to be together. It’s fate.”
“Fate?” she echoed, not understanding. “Because you keep coming back to me?”
“Because we are always supposed to be together and we’ll get it right this time.”
“This time?”
“Just trust your feelings, Lizzie. You know how you feel.”
“How I feel about you?” Lizzie swallowed the lump in her throat. “I don’t know…”
Fred laughed, his chest shaking against hers and it made her stomach flip flop. “Yes, you do. Just admit it,” he said, his breath tickling her ear.
She felt her face flush. “I- I-”

As dawn approached, Drop Dead Fred found his anxieties about Lizzie’s training worsen and his distrust of Damion skyrocketed. That lunatic’s countdown for the impending trials began at sunrise and Fred felt less than prepared. He needed to organize lessons somehow, as much as he hated the idea. Lizzie’s life was too important to rely on his spur of the moment tricks. If he forgot one thing, no matter how small, he was sure Damion would find it and send her away, making the entire failure his fault.
And I can’t lose her again .  I won’t. This time I’m making sure Lizzie has a good life, imaginary or not…
Inhaling the cool morning air, Fred looked out the window of Natalie’s treehouse. “Better go wake Snotface,” he said, watching the dawn’s glow appear on the horizon. He hoped they had worn Natalie out enough last night that she slept past eight. Lizzie needed the extra practice, and Fred needed every advantage. He prayed that playing would settle his and Lizzie’s magic so he could handle this without either of them going too insane.
“Right. It’s gonna be okay. You’re Drop Dead Fred. Remember that,” he told himself and vanished for the guest bedroom.
Reappearing at the foot of the bed, Fred found Lizzie fast asleep, snoring, and clinging to her pillow. He smiled. The image filled him with plenty of memories of watching her sleep, only this one meant more to him than the rest.
The last time he’d watched her sleep had been in the hospital and that image would haunt him forever. He could still hear those machines when he closed his eyes, but the sight of her safe and alive would always stay with him, too. This peaceful, albeit noisy and drool-filled image was the most welcome memory he could ever want.
I didn’t know IF’s could still snore,  he thought, walking to her bedside and crossing his arms over his chest. “Hmm…” He tilted his head. “What to do?” Gently, he stroked a few strands of hair off her forehead and put his face inches from hers. Fred grinned like a manic imp.
“Hey, Snotface! Wake  up !” he yelled, bopping her atop the head.
Lizzie’s eyes shot open and she let out a high pitched scream that would make Enzo proud. Flinging her arms out, her hand connected with a strange surface.
“OW!” Fred shouted, covering his nose.
“Omigod! What is- Wha- ...Fred?” she asked, breathless.
“Oi! What’d ya hit me for?” he cried.
“What the  hell  are you doing?” she hissed. Wide-eyed, Lizzie stared at him, trying to discern dream from reality. He looked less amorous than he had been in her dream. Sitting up, she looked down and saw the same T-shirt and sweats she had gone to sleep in.
“I was just waking you up  as promised , but now I’m bloody trying not to bleed here!” He scowled, and rubbed his poor face. “It’s rise and shine, not rise and  shiner , ya know!” He rolled his eyes.
Lizzie glared. “It’s not okay to scream in someone’s face to wake them, Fred! You’re lucky I don’t punch you a second time,” she grumbled, running her hand over her face. Her heart pounded, reminding her of Fred’s terrible choice in waking her. It made her think of old times and some of her anger faded.
“Oh sorry!” he said, dropping his hands and scrunching up his nose. He flared his nostrils several times and sniffed. “How ‘bout I magic you an alarm next time, or how ‘bout a cock? It can crow outside your window and let ya know the sun’s up!” Fred took a seat near her leg, snatched a pillow, and whapped her on the head with it. What had gotten into her? He’d woken her up like this tons of times before.
Lizzie grabbed the pillow and hit him in the face. “I’ll take the alarm clock over your screeches.” She had meant to joke, but it came out grumpier than she intended.
Fred wobbled his head, mouthing her words to mock her. “Boy, you’re a ray of bloody sunshine, aren’t you?” He sneered, but his expression softened after studying her. He supposed after everything she had been put through his usual way of waking her might be a bit much. Clearing his throat, Fred patted her foot and smiled. “Which is why I’m glad to see you’re still here, Snotface… Did ya sleep good?”
Lizzie straightened her shirt self consciously. Before Damion’s talk and her strange dream being close to Fred would be no big deal, but now she was having a hard time looking him in the face. She felt so conflicted. He was just being nice and she just wanted to hide under the covers. She managed a smile, hoping she looked sincere.
“Yeah, a great night. It was really what I needed. Thanks for letting me sleep.” Lizzie maintained her toothy grin.
“Erm… you’re welcome, Snotface,” Fred said. “You alright? You look sorta like ya got a coat hanger caught in your mouth.” He pointed at her jaw, then hooked his fingers into the corners of his mouth and pulled. Fred gnashed his teeth, widening his eyes for effect.
Lizzie’s eyes bulged.  Do I seriously look like that?  Her crazed smile turned into a pout. Pouting was useful for hiding her tumultuous feelings. “You try getting scared out of your dreams by a fog horn.” She stuck her tongue out at him.
“Fog horn? I’ll remember that…” he muttered, stroking his chin. “So… what sorta dream’s got you so bothered over missing out on it anyway? Wasn’t a naughty one, was it? Was I naked?” He laughed.
Lizzie choked and her back stiffened from shock. There was no way he could know that! She prayed there was no way he saw her dream last night. The far off image of a naked Fred flashed into her mind and she found herself unable to speak. Pulling her legs up to her chest, she hugged them tight and looked around the room. She kept her gaze on anything but Fred. She needed to change the subject now.
“No!” It sounded so loud to her. “I was dreaming of… of… putting Damion in a coffin and dropping it in the ocean. He’s Mister Megabitch.” All her hatred for the sadistic god came out in her newly coined title.
“Oh. Well, no wonder you’re agitated, Snotface. My apologies for ruining that moment for you.” He laughed again and hopped to sit on his knees. Leaning over, he ruffled Lizzie’s hair and winked. “On that note, if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear he’s the source your mother spawned from.”
Lizzie relaxed, grateful he wasn’t pushing to know about her dream. She didn’t want to have to dance around that any more than she already had. Grinning at him, she nodded. “Wherever they’re from I don’t want to go there.” She looked him in the eyes, finally able to face him without feeling so awkward. “So, what mischief did you get up to all night, huh? Should I be worried? I don’t hear any sirens this morning.”
“Pfft, sirens are for pansies. I cause more havoc than measly little sirens. I have better things to worry about than attracting flashy lights, Snotface.” He grinned back. “You’ll be surprised to know that I actually planned out how to teach you today.”
Lizzie shook her head, smiling at Fred’s disdain.  Leave it to Fred to not be impressed with sirens.
Sitting back, she punched him in the arm. “Look at you! Mr. Imaginary Friend Mentor. What’s on the lesson plan for today, Sir?” she said in mock respect.
“You’re just gonna have to wait and see,” he teased back. “And don’t call me that! Makes me sound old.” He shuddered. “You just consider yourself lucky that you’ve got the  best  there is. I’m Drop Dead Fred and I’m gonna make you into the second best there can be.” His smile practically lit the room as he hopped up onto the bed. Fred bounced, jostling Lizzie, and making her laugh at his antics.
“So,” he said, “first we’re gonna have to play a little game to get some magic outta us both because I’m not risking you. I mean, I’m not risking you getting all tits up over a case of magic mania. Then we’ll get to it!”
Lizzie stared, surprised by Fred’s comment. He didn’t want to risk her? How did he mean that? She wanted to ask, but stopped herself. “Um, get to what exactly?”
“I’m gonna teach you how to blink from here to there!” Fred finally let himself fall down onto his ass and bounced off the bed to his feet. “So come on! Follow me!”
Her stomach dropped like a lead ball. That was the one thing she definitely did not want to learn. The idea of disappearing and reappearing while making sure all her parts followed terrified her. Fred’s previous comment before leaving the Other Otherworld still haunted her. She did not want to have him go back for any of her bits.
She gave him a nervous smile. “Oh, already? We’re not going to start with something else?”
“We’re kinda on a time limit here, Lizzie,” he said, concern lining his face. “You’ve already more than shown you’ve got a knack for this. I learned this my first day, actually.” He smiled.  Didn’t succeed, but that’s a door we don’t need to open…  Fred fought back the horrible memories of his first attempts and he hoped his plans for teaching Lizzie would save her from the same disaster. He still had flashbacks.  Those bastards.
“It’s better to start practicing this now ‘cuz it’s the hardest trick an IF can learn. Can’t really have you morphing into all sorts of different shapes and sizes without knowing how to discombobulate and assemble yourself first. Look, I promise I’ll be right there making sure everything stays as it should.”
Hugging her legs tighter, Lizzie rested her chin on her knees. “I know, I just-” She swallowed the golf ball in her throat. “It scares me, but I know I need to do this.” All she could manage was a shaky grin. “I know you’re going to teach me and I couldn’t have a better teacher.” She took a deep breath. “Let’s get this over with before I pass out.”
“That’s the spirit, Snotface. You can pass out and be sick later. I’ll even join ya, but now’s for the fun. Come on!” Grabbing her hand, Fred yanked Lizzie up to her feet, causing her to fall haphazardly into his arms. “To the backyard! Nat won't hear me out there.” Fred tightened his hold around her. “Ready?”
Lizzie grimaced, neither encouraged by his words or thrilled with the thought of what was to come. Being in such close quarters with Fred made her heart pound even faster. She shuddered involuntarily from his embrace. Normally, his touch calmed her; right now she didn’t think Valium would calm her. “Would you cancel the lesson if I said no?”
“Nope,” he said, popping his mouth.
“I thought so,” she said, her voice filled with disappointment.
He frowned in sympathy. “Look, I know you’re scared… and I get it. I was too when I started, but I’ve got this all worked out. Been up all night thinking it over and I’ve come up with the greatest way to teach you. I’m gonna put you in a gerbil ball. There’s no way we’ll lose your parts that way. Anything misses, it’ll just land at the bottom for pick up. See, I’ve got ya covered, Snotface. Training wheels and everything.” He winked, quite proud of himself. Already he took such great care of his Snotface.
“A gerbil ball?” She pulled back to look at his beaming face. “You want to put me in a gerbil ball? You better hope nothing falls off and needs to be picked up, or I’ll knock something of yours off!” Her voice shook and it sounded unnaturally high to her own ears, but she didn’t care. Fred’s plan freaked her out. She really couldn’t tell if he was serious or not. What if he wasn’t joking?
“Ha! Good luck trying when you’re in a bubble, Snotface,” he said with a smug look. “And of course a gerbil ball! How else am I supposed to keep ya contained so you don’t go shooting off into the far corners of the backyard?”
Lizzie made a sound resembling a gurgle in her throat, her eyes bugging out. “Contain me?” She imagined her limbs flying off to land in the bushes and she struggled to get out of Fred’s grasp. “No, no! No, lesson today! I’m going to work on something else. Anything else!”
Fred just held her tighter. “Nope, sorry! I can’t let you do that.” He knew how much blinking scared her, and honestly he felt bad for contributing to the fear, but he had to train her or he’d lose her for good. “See, I kinda like you being  alive .” Leaning in, Fred whispered in her ear, “Just close your eyes. I promise I won’t drop you.”
Not giving her time to argue, Fred snuck a firm kiss to her cheek in distraction, letting his magic connect with hers. In a swirl of green and purple orbs he blinked them into the backyard.
Seconds later, they reappeared still in one another’s arms. His magic washed around Lizzie in a final check that her bits were in the right place. Fred breathed with relief to find her all accounted for.
Lizzie barely registered the kiss before they blinked away. Blinking was faster than she remembered and before she could form another thought they were in the backyard. The connection between Fred’s magic and hers created a warm sensation over her body. It was like when her foot fell asleep, but pleasanter. Her stomach settled and her pounding heart slowed its pace. Shivering a little, she felt the remnants of Fred’s magic leave her, and she slowly exhaled. Blinking hadn’t been half as scary that time. She looked up at Fred, both angry and grateful for their quick departure.
“I don’t know whether to slap you or hug you right now,” she said, her voice uneven. Lizzie was sure that if he let go of her she’d fall to the ground. Glad that he still supported her weight, she realized being in his arms soothed her.
Inhaling slowly, she breathed in his unique scent. The smell reminded her of earth, making her nose wrinkle. A very fitting scent for Fred and it made her think of all those times they had made mud pies in the kitchen. She smiled.
“Well… you’re hugging me already, so hope we can forgo the slap.” Fred chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. “See, nothing to it. You’re all there, magic crazies aside.”
Lizzie made a face. “Very funny. You better hope my magic crazies stay in check before I throw your body parts across the yard,” she said, less than amused by his comment. Her emotions seesawed and she pushed back her embarrassment, letting her irritation take over. “Did you have to trick me to get me to cooperate?” She remembered his hasty kiss. “I suppose kissing me was the only option?”
“Trick you?” Fred felt the spark of her growing mania like a shot and his heart beat faster. If he didn’t de-escalate this fast Lizzie would send them both into a state and the whole morning would be shot. “Wait. Kiss you?” he asked, suddenly realizing what she had said. “I…”  Oh god I did, didn’t I?  The realization lit his own mania. “Well, don’t get your head all in a tizzy, Lizzie! I didn’t know there  were  other options.”
Lizzie growled in frustration and shoved him. Part of her wasn’t sure why she was so irritated by his comment. Another part knew the answer, but she didn’t care. “I thought you were going to teach me not make a pass! So Damion was right and you do like me! I guess it’s too bad nobody can date in La La Land!” She was shouting and she couldn’t even remember why she was mad.
“What?!” Fred’s voice went up higher than he knew possible. When had Damion spoken to her? His mind raced, but it became hard to navigate all his thoughts under the building state their unchecked magic sent him into. He tried to focus, but the closest he managed to say was, “What’s that bastard sayin’ about me behind my back? I never said I liked you! Egomaniac much?”
“Ha! I knew you would deny it because you can never be honest about what you feel, but I know you do feel! Right now you probably feel like an ass because your psycho boss outed you!” Her fists clenched and she shook. “I’m not an egomaniac! I was raised by one!”
Fred grabbed his head and growled. Had he not been imaginary the whole neighborhood would have heard. “Well, it didn’t fall far from the tree, did it? The only thing I feel right now is bloody pissed off! And you want to know why? Because you’re all insane! All day yesterday I’ve been accused of having feelings for you. Me! Feelings? Do I look like a girl? I don’t like anyone. Why-”
A pink dodgeball sailed through the air and smacked Fred square on the side of his face. Lizzie stared, agog, as Fred dropped to the ground. A giggle bubbled out of her, turning into boisterous laughter.
Rolling onto his back, Fred blinked, gaping at the sky. Where the devil had that pink cannonball come from? The sting of its strike still radiated upon his cheek, but something had never been as sobering for him. Lizzie’s laughter drew his attention and he bolted upright just as a pink, paper airplane sailed for his face.
Yelping, Fred flailed and snatched it before it got him in the nose. “Why the hell is it raining pink at my face?” he cried. Exasperated, he looked down and caught sight of a message written upon the wings. “Play now. You idiot. XOXO Mother E,” he read aloud. Fred’s eyebrow quirked as if having a seizure and he crumpled the airplane with disdain.
Enzo.
“That explains everything,” he said, tossing the remains over his shoulder.  There’s no way I’m calling him Mother.  “Come on, Snotface,” he said, standing. “Time to play so we can have a little chat.”
Lizzie’s laughter subsided. Fred getting knocked over by a pink ball had been too much. All she could think of was Charlie Brown getting knocked into the air by a baseball. She wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath. “Where did that come from?” She snorted.
“From the skirt upstairs,” he said, rubbing his cheek. “That bastard throws hard for such a girl.”
“Skirt?” Lizzie looked at him in confusion. “What skirt?”
Fred used his magic to blink the paper into Lizzie’s hands. “Here. I can’t bear to read that again.” He glanced upward. “That better be it! I’ve only got the one face, thank you very much!” he shouted.
Before Lizzie could read the paper, a pink, stuffed bear whizzed through the air and nailed Fred in the back of the head.
“Ahhh!” Fred screamed, spinning about and landing in a karate stance, ready to strike. Lizzie snickered, hiding her face behind her hands.
“That includes the back of my face, too!” he yelled. Fred flinched, noticing the pink plush gazing up at him with its purple-buttoned eyes. “Yech!” Grimacing, he snatched up the toy and shook it in the air. “Just for that, I’m keeping this!” he shouted, shoving the animal into his trousers’ pocket. His magic shrank it down until nothing could be seen at all.
Lizzie giggled at the spectacle before her. She had never had a stranger morning, and Fred keeping the stuffed animal in his pocket only added to it. “What else do you have in there? That’d be a skill I’d like to learn.”
“I told you. Lots. Maybe I’ll show you one day.” He smirked, his finger brushing something specific inside his pocket. Something special he’d kept with him for years...
Lizzie chortled.  I didn’t become an imaginary friend, I became a cartoon,  she thought, but remembered the note. Glancing down, she read with haste.
“Mother E?” Lizzie took in the pink items that had assaulted Fred. “Enzo!” She laughed again. “You crazy, funny m- mother.” The image from her dream of Enzo in his small dress, leaping in front of a nude Fred sprang to mind. Her new, overprotective ‘mother’ still watched out for her. Lizzie grinned and put the note in the pocket of her sweats. “So we have a guardian angel now.” She winked at Fred.
“Guardian angel?” he asked. “He threw everything at me, but-” Fred stopped himself before he said ‘kitchen sink.’ “Soft pillows. He threw everything at me, but soft, fluffy pillows.” Fred shuffled closer to Lizzie, betting the bastard wouldn’t dare throw anything at him if he stood beside his new gal pal.
Latching onto her arm, he said, “Come on, I think we better play before that trigger happy, pink doily launches another attack. And… we should stay close…” he added for his own safety.
“Come on, he’s sweet,” Lizzie said, grinning. “He seems to be really fond of me.”
“Yeah, probably because he’s excited to share your clothes,” Fred muttered, pulling Lizzie closer to his side. He knew remarks like that might get him into trouble, but he just couldn’t help himself. Getting shot in the head did that to him.
“I like him,” she said, with emphasis. “Now, are we going to play, or are you going to cower behind me like a girl?”
Fred’s eyebrows rose. “Hey! Drop Dead Fred doesn’t cower,” he said, magicking a tennis ball into his hand. “But yes, Miss Nag, we are, because you and I’ve both had magic simmering all night and it’s already getting impatient. Best we expel some of it. I’ve got an idea because, you know, we’re responsible grown ups today,” he said with a wink. He still loved to tease her for that whole ‘we’re grown ups now’ spiel.  Please. I was a grown up before she was ever conceived!
Lizzie rolled her eyes. “Yes, you’re  so  responsible,” she said, but seeing the tennis ball confused her. “So... what, are we going to play catch? I didn’t think you could ever play something so... boring.”
“Boring?!” Fred made the ball hover over his palm. “Puh-lease! Use your imagination. We’re not  humans , Snotface. You’ve been upgraded. We’re gonna use our magic.”
Her nose scrunched. “Oh. Okay. I don’t really feel like I’ve been upgraded.” She looked down at herself and then at Fred’s suit. “I feel like last year’s model. So, how do we do this?”
The tennis ball moved higher, spinning before returning to his hand. “That’s just because you haven’t let me fully push ya outta the nest yet. Don’t worry, we’ll get there. We’re gonna use our magic to throw and catch the ball.” Fred shot her a playful sneer, which wrinkled his nose. “Get good at this, and I’ll show you all sorts of other tricks. Think of the things we can smash!” He laughed, his mania stirred at the anticipation of play. “Alright, you ready?” He let go of her, backing up a good distance.
Lizzie rolled her eyes, smiling in slight amusement. Smashing never was far from Fred’s mind, but her eyes narrowed at him as he laughed just a little too much. Was he just going to chuck that thing right at her face? “Wait. Can you, um, just kinda send it over slowly, maybe? If you smack me in the face Enzo’ll be really mad at you!”
Fred huffed in mock annoyance. “Since when is someone  not  really mad at me?” When she didn’t even crack a smile, he deflated. “Oh alright, Snotface, if you’re gonna be a big girl  about it!” he said, stopping the ball’s spin. A small part of him did want to comply, but another very impatient side, knew they’d never get anywhere if he didn’t jump-start her powers. He really didn’t want Enzo chucking anything else at his face if they got out of hand again.  Right. Time to fill out my britches and be the responsible grown up…
Smiling with impish delight, Fred shot the ball at Lizzie and cackled as it careened toward her face. Lizzie shrieked, throwing her arms over her head.
Diving to the ground, she huddled to protect herself, bracing for the pain. Seconds passed and nothing happened. Cautiously, Lizzie opened one eye and looked at Fred. He stood in his original spot, the ball spinning harmlessly in the air before him as he whistled a jaunty tune.
He wasn’t going to let it hit me…  she thought.  He tricked me!
One look at his grin and the sound of his laughter told Lizzie just how proud Fred was of his prank. She glared at him.  That ass!  she thought, her magic feeding off her broiling emotions. “That was a mean thing to do, Fred! I need a second to be able to focus on it, and I can’t do that if you threaten to smash my face in!”
Fred’s shit-eating grin disappeared as he sensed Lizzie’s flare of magic. “Oh fuck,” he groaned.  I went too far, didn’t I?  “Look, I was only trying to get the game started!” His panic, however, did not help him and his mouth jumped ahead of his brain. “You know, that’s the problem, you try to sit and focus, straining like you’re on the pot when all you gotta do is use it! Just stop thinkin’ so much! I figured it would work like a reflex if I just scared it outta ya a little like last night when I got ya to laugh. You used your magic right away after that.” He started to breathe harder, the buzz of the magic affecting him.  So much for this whole responsible thing. If she doesn’t calm down I’m gone, too.
Fred’s ever-present potty references did not help Lizzie’s agitation. She had the strongest urge to smash something, anything, maybe even his face, so long as she could feel the satisfying release of this energy.
Staring at Fred’s irritating face, she wished more than anything she could just move the stupid ball and get on with this day.
The tennis ball suddenly zigzagged for Fred, but he dove out of the way, somersaulting back to his feet. “Hey! What’re you trying to do?” he shouted, but Lizzie ignored him.
In her mind, she tried very hard to imagine the ball moving at Fred’s face. With her heightened emotions as fuel, she tapped into her magic, and launched the ball. It flew at Fred in a yellow blur. Using his powers, Fred veered the ball away from his face and it slammed into the trunk of the tree with a loud crack. Silence followed.
Lizzie let out a huge sigh of relief, and she felt her anger recede. A large chunk of her energy had been expelled and she could think clearly again. “Hey, I did it!” she cried, happily, turning back to Fred. One look at his outraged face and she remembered her missile in the tree. Her jaw dropped.
“Did I…” She gasped, horrified by what she had done. “Oh my god. I didn’t mean- It was- I was so mad I couldn’t even think! I just wanted to get back at you. I’m so sorry!”
Fred gaped at the tennis ball wedged in the tree like it was the next bloody Excalibur. “Sorry? Awfully good shot for an accident! I coulda been killed!” The swirl of his magic consumed him and he spun around on her. “What the fuck was that for? That coulda been my face! My head coulda been blown clean off!” He paced, flinging his arms over his head. “You’re psychotic!”
Using his magic Fred yanked the ball from the tree and spun it in the air. “That’s strike one, Snotface. I get two more shots and I’m not pulling my punches no more! Welcome to the big leagues.” The tennis ball wrapped in green light and flew after Lizzie.
Shrieking, she dove to the ground, the ball whizzing over her head. She swore she could feel its path as it streaked out of the yard in a flash. A far off shattering of glass and the howl of a cat sounded next door. "Now who’s psychotic?” she yelled. “You started it! I was just returning the favor! You’re the teacher! You’re supposed to teach me not put me in another coma!"
Gritting her teeth, she glared at him. “I shouldn’t be surprised you would ruin your own lesson!” She spied the pink dodgeball laying in the grass. An idea sprung to mind and she concentrated on sending a streak of magic at Fred’s belly button. Purple shot into his navel.
“Ahhh, my innards!” Fred seized up, his belly glowing purple. Legs shaking, he doubled over and collapsed. “I’ve been shot!” Panting, he held his stomach, aftershocks of Lizzie’s magic rolling through the source of his powers. It felt like an electric jolt shaking his insides.  That ruddy cheat! How could she?
With Fred distracted and rolling around on the ground like a toddler having a fit, Lizzie sat up and grinned. Teaching him a lesson felt great.
“God!” he exclaimed. “Ruin my own lesson? Things kinda take a turn when someone tries to take off your head- Ow!” he cried, clutching his stomach. “Ugh! You witch! I can’t believe you’d use my own secrets against me. That fucking hurt! I told you where my magic was in confidence. How would you like a magical kick to the knee?”
Lizzie rolled her eyes at Fred’s theatrics, about to grab the dodgeball when Fred targeted the source of her powers and let his magic fly.
The expulsion brought him back to his senses and the rest of Lizzie’s words caught up with him.  Wait. Another coma?  Fred’s heart suddenly felt like it had been stabbed worse than his magic source. “Oh god… Snotface?” he whispered, but it was too late. Lizzie couldn’t dodge Fred’s magic and it hit her right where he’d intended.
Yelping, Lizzie grabbed her knee and rolled into a ball. Fred’s magic radiated up and down her leg, pulsing into her bones. It felt like her entire leg had fallen asleep and the tingling bordered on painful.  That’s it!
Wincing, she forced herself to her feet and limped to the dodgeball. She felt like a pirate with a peg leg. “That was a low blow! You’re so petty! You just had to get back at me, didn’t you? Drop Dead Fred always has to have the last word!”
Fred blew a loud raspberry at her, inciting her to stick out her tongue. Lizzie hobbled along, the feeling in her leg almost unbearable.
Snatching up the dodgeball, she glared at Fred. “Are you done being an ass, or are you actually going to do some teaching? Maybe you can show me that you can do more than throw balls at my face. Unless you’re too old!” She threw the ball as hard as she could into the sky. Her magic propelled it like a purple rocket and it disappeared from view. She hoped he’d rise to the bait, chase after it, and take his stupid magic with him.
“Old?! Oh, there’s a whole helluva lot more I can chuck at your face! I’ll show ya when I get back, if you can control yourself and stay outta my belly button! It’s not a cookie jar, you slitherin’ minx!”
“Ha! I’m soooo scared!”
With his magic, Fred pushed Lizzie and vanished in a blink to go after the ball. Fred’s petty parting shot knocked her onto her ass.
“Jerk,” she muttered, but with him was out of sight, his magic disappeared and she sighed in relief.
Taking a few steps, she tested her leg, making sure she could walk without falling over. “Time for some payback,” she said. Her gaze roamed the backyard for inspiration until she spotted Natalie’s treehouse.
“Perfect!”
Hurrying, Lizzie climbed the treehouse’s ladder and crawled onto the small platform at the top. She found the door was child-sized, but she could still fit. Grinning to herself, Lizzie crawled inside and waited.
- 10
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- 12
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Second Chances