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Reconciliation
By : LexiLupin
Category: Star Wars (All) > AU - Alternate Universe
Views: 3594 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars; I make no money.
Chapter List
- 1-Reconciliation
- 2-Part 2
- 3-Part 3
- 4-Part 4
- 5-Part 5
- 6-Part 6
- 7-Part 7
- 8-Part 8
- 9-Part 9
- 10-Part 10
- 11-Part 11
- 12-Part 12
- 13-Epilogue
- 10
- 11
- 12
Part XI

They had finally come to it; he stared stoically ahead as his former 'master' gave orders to his cold, dark counterpart, while she watched in intrigued silence- her curiosity, he found more unnerving than anything, but kept reminding himself that it was all for the purpose of understanding, that nothing could hurt them if they didn't allow it to…

"Ah," Brakiss was saying, "you misunderstand the ultimate goal here."

"My lord?"

"The girl is far too unpredictable; even if she were to give in to her anger, she could not be trusted for long. No, I have abandoned the idea of turning them both- but the boy… he would have proved a great asset. He is strong, in control, thoughtful but a fast-actor… no, Knight Zekk, I decided long ago that Jacen Solo would be my target in this little… experiment. His sister just became the means to an end."

"Then… you planned this from the first time you had me confront her?" He tried to mask the uneasiness in his voice.

"Me, Zekk? Your actions have always been your choice, I merely… present you with your options. It is no matter though- the quest has failed, and we must accept-"

"No," was the hasty reply. "My apologies, master- but I haven't failed you yet. Jacen Solo will be yours, and the girl will yet prove instrumental to his turning, I will stake my position on it."

"I know you will, Zekk. You haven't failed me yet…"

He started to pass the memory of the actual assault, but she laid a restraining hand on his forearm, and he suddenly found them standing in a bare corridor, alone. "You can't escape the memory," she murmured. "If you try, it'll only hurt you more."

"Do… do we have to see it together?" his voice trembled.

She quirked a brow. "If you have to ask, then yes. You're letting your fear overcome you; the fear of yourself first, and then the fear for me. Nothing can change," she emphasized. "It makes no difference how you remember it- only that you do, willingly, calmly, and with the purpose of understanding, of seeing yourself, of remembering your mistakes for times to come…"

"Have… have you already…?"

"No," she calmly answered his unfinished question. "Only the next night, when I awoke. This…" she hesitated, looking away. "This, we have to face as one."

"But then haven't you been avoiding the memory?"

He sounded mildly petulant, but she didn't seem to mind. "It's not out of avoidance," she denied. "It's… my memory is incomplete. I need to see it all, to see you steel yourself for what you were to do, to see your reaction afterwards and… I don't have those things, I cannot see them without you to show them to me."

He frowned. "We're in your head."

That earned another of her honest laughs. "Zekk, we're completely intertwined right now; we are each other. Now stop stalling- we're almost done."

They stood unobtrusively near the door, watching him pace the small living space, stopping to lean over the desk and close his eyes wearily, casting periodic, furtive glances towards the refresher unit, where the sound of the sanisteam could still be heard. And then she emerged, robe cinched tightly around her waist, and his stomach knotted in nervousness, willing the scene to play out differently than he knew it had.

She took his hand and gave it a fast squeeze, willing his regret away.

They watched in somber silence as they argued, as his intentions became clear and she first discounted the idea, and then grew wary, fearful…

The scared memory of her was defiant though, until he turned manipulative, twisting her behavior, and she realized how she'd fallen into the web… and then he grew almost seductive, teasing her with promises of the freedom allowed by the Force, pressing his body to hers, whispering in her ear, until, eyes downcast, voice trembling, she gave him her decision.

His relief was palpable in the air.

But then… as she tremblingly followed him towards the bed, as he looked into her eyes…

Everything fell apart. She recoiled, he grew angry…

"Why did you back away then?" he asked her softly, eyes riveted as he slapped the cuff back on her wrist, as he began to tear open her robe.

"Your eyes," she returned without hesitation. "They looked like… you. Like you did on Coruscant, like you… honestly liked me, cared for me even. I was horrified that, with what you were doing, there could still be some of the old you in there, that the other part of you wouldn't be protesting…"

"He was protesting," he returned. "Just not enough."

She took his hand in hers, and didn't let go this time. "I know that now."

Her disheveled form was staring, stricken, kneeling on the ground where she had fallen.

"But… you said… if I cooperate… you gave me your word, Zekk!"

"And you believed me?"

The next minutes… hours… years… they stretched on like an eon, and his defenses wore down, the pain, the remorse, the stinging regret, they could not fully be kept at bay. But her own calm presence was an anchor, reminded him that he could face this if she could, that her own detachment to her memory-self's painful cries, her sobs, her shrieks was proof that he could master his own feelings and overcome the pain and regret.

But that didn't make it easy to see him do it; to see him hit her, kick her, to see blood trickling from her mouth from a hard smack, to see bruises already rising on her pale, naked skin.

He wanted nothing more than to be able to stop it there, to go no further. Instead, he forced himself to see as he dragged her beaten, sobbing form back to the edge of the bed, as he divested himself of his sleep pants, as he violently and ruthlessly violated her body, heard her keening cries of pain and shock…

And minutes later, with disgust, they watched as he pulled away from the now-stunned girl who was whimpering softly to herself, seemingly unaware of the blood on her face, on her neck, on her thighs… she was shaking… watched as he, in a mockery of the honest and willing act, turned her body and climbed onto the bed, renewing his assault as he leaned almost gently over her, touching her face, caressing her small breasts… only her whimpers and the occasional soft cry betraying the fact that she was even still conscious.

When it was finally over, he pulled away and stood, not seeming to notice as she curled in around herself in one last display of strength before slipping into unconsciousness, possibly at the urging of her undoubtedly-affected brother.

The hand in his was tight now, the only betrayal of the anxiety that she felt at what they had just witnessed. "What did you mean," she murmured, watching the dead-eyed teen slip into the refresher, "when you said I think too loudly? What happened in that last moment before you changed your mind?"

He had known she would ask; was surprised she hadn't already. "I… you hated me. I could feel your despise, your revulsion, and for a moment, I hated myself too, I knew what I had become… and it just made me angry. Somehow in my mind, I had tricked myself into thinking that you were going along willingly, out of affection for me…" he shook his head to clear it. "The reminder that such was not the case was… too much to handle. I snapped."

"Hm…" she pondered that while they sat in silence for a long time, until the surly figure reemerged from the refresher, a towel around his waist, taking the time to fully dress before even casting a glance at the bruised and bloody girl on the bed. When he did, he sat heavily in the chair by the desk, brooding and staring, as though willing her to wake up just with a look. "Did you sleep that night?"

"You kidding?"

Hours of the memory passed in eerie silence while they sat and meditated, waiting… until he stood, crossed the room, and drew a sheet over the prone body moments before the door slid open. They slid effortlessly out of the way as Brakiss walked in.

"Lord Brakiss."

"Knight Zekk, I have only come to check on you and your… captive." He crossed to the bed. "My, you had an… exciting night, I daresay."

"Is my lord… displeased?"

"Of course not, my darkest knight, you've done well. Come, walk with me… I admit, I wasn't sure that you would be able to follow through on your promise, but I stand mistaken, and must express my own sincere apologies for doubting you. You've not yet failed me, my boy."

"Has her brother been sufficiently crippled then?"

"Oh, yes. And the wookiee. Even some of our younger students were noticeably disquieted by the girl's pain last night. Solo and the wookiee are well on their way to ultimately giving in to us, we just need to wait for that last little… persuasion."

"Master?"

"The girl's use is at an end, you've accomplished everything I could have dreamed with her. Her death will provide the catalyst we need for her brother to give in fully to his despair and embrace the dark side."

"And… when do you intend to kill her, my lord?"

"Me? After the frustration I caused you, inflicting her constant presence on you for the past couple weeks… Knight Zekk, I wouldn't dream of denying you the satisfaction of killing her yourself."

Time sped forward, and he was again sitting in the chair, staring with wide eyes at the still-unconscious girl, until he got up in frustration and crossed to her, sat down, pulled away the sheet to examine her wounds. He touched one and murmured her name, quickly withdrawing when she whimpered.

An hour later, after more brooding, after his expression had gone from confused to hurt to anguished, he stood and strode out the door purposefully, clearly on a mission…

"That's it," he murmured, allowing her to pull him effortlessly out of the depressing room where her bloodied counterpart lay. "My mind was made up, I knew I would get you away no matter what happened to me."

Space seemed to swirl about them as she looked contemplative. "Where would you like to go?" she finally asked.

"Your room in the palace," he quickly decided.

She smiled and they were there, sitting on her bed where they had sat and talked, told stories, compared dreams… sometimes with Jacen, sometimes just the two of them… dozens of times in the five years they had known one another. "Good choice," she nodded approvingly.

He glanced around; they were alone, the rest of the suite was silent. "So… what now?"

"Now… we find your understanding."

X-X-X-X

"No word from Jacen, I take it?" Leia asked disappointedly as she and Han got dressed early in the morning.

"No," her husband muttered. "Sweetheart, I'm worried…"

She wrapped her arms around him and sighed. "Me too. But we have to trust that Jaina knows what she's doing, I think, and to be ready to be there for her when she needs us."

They found Anakin in the small living room of the family-oriented quarters in the temple. He was pulling on his boots and chewing on a ration bar, glancing up to smile wryly at his parents as they emerged from their bedroom.

"Good morning," the thirteen-year-old said. "Are we going to see Jaina now?"

Han nodded immediately. "Yes- and I want to know what happened with Jacen and Cilghal last night, I'm a little steamed that no one told us either way…" he sighed and met his son's piercing blue eyes. "How about you, kid? Sense anything new from your sister?"

"She's on Coruscant."

Han and Leia stared following the automatic response from Anakin. "What?" Leia said carefully.

"She's in her room with…" he frowned and trailed away. "With Zekk."

His parents exchanged alarmed looks. "Anakin… Jaina's here in the temple."

The boy finished tying a bootlace and glanced up, frowning. "Yeah, I know- we saw her yesterday…"

"But…" Han stumbled for words. "Why did you just say she was on Coruscant then?"

Anakin's eyes widened slightly. "I did?" They nodded. "I have no idea."

X-X-X-X

"I think I was always a little bitter," he finally broke the silence. "I knew that you guys had more than me, that you had a family, money, power…" he shrugged. "It was just the opening he needed to put the doubt there and let it grow."

She sounded exasperated. "Yes, but bitterness and doubt are one thing; betraying who you are and hurting your friends is a long step away."

"It was a big seed of doubt?" he suggested unhelpfully, and she smacked his arm playfully, but hard enough to show she was annoyed. He sighed. "Why do I have a feeling that you've already pieced together enough of this that you're really just laughing at my own ignorance."

"You're smarter than I thought." That earned her a glare and she grinned cheekily back. "Now talk it through."

He took a deep breath. "Okay- bitterness, check. He finds out that I know you, immediately grasps that he can pit me against you, can use who I am- what I am- to give me the slightest hesitation about your own motives, even as children."

"Good."

"He… shows me a taste of power, making me even more resentful of what I've been missing… solidifies my loyalty by proving me to be the best of the students… and delivers the death blow by twisting my doubt around my head so that the conversation I hear verifies my fears when, in fact, the same conversation only proved what I had been saying all along." He stopped and shook his head. "I just feel like I'm making excuses."

Her eyes snapped up to his. "No," she insisted. "You're understanding the how. People don't just wake up and decide that they're evil, Jedi don't just decide suddenly that they'd rather be Sith, that they'd rather tap into the dark side… there's a how and a why. And it's all there in front of you, you've showed it all to me already."

He sighed heavily. "Alright… so I'm angry and I'm bitter for completely false reasons… so I lash out at you to help Brakiss turn Jacen…"

"No!" she insisted. "Do you remember nothing from your own memories? You didn't know for weeks that Jacen was the true target, and it had nothing to do with helping Brakiss."

He scowled, but searched his memories more carefully. "Okay then, he needed help either way, so he wanted me to…" he trailed away, eyes widening and going a little fuzzy as he stared blankly at the wall across the room. "No," he muttered. "It was you; it was always you."

She smiled and nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"It was my fault; that first day when I woke, he could sense that you were… special to me," he went slightly pink, and she touched his hand. "And then… to rile me up, he used my own confusion about the Jedi and emotions against me, made it seem like you were… I don't know… toying with me while you were at the academy. But…" he frowned, "I didn't believe him."

"Exactly!" she beamed. "The doubt was there, but you weren't susceptible to his simple suggestions."

"But then how…" he thought harder, focusing on the difficult memory, the one where he had become suddenly and mysteriously blank and apathetic… "it was a mind trick all along," he breathed. "The whole thing."

She held up a hand. "The whole thing?"

He flushed. "No, not… sorry. I still gave into the ambition, the anger way too easily… but you said… fear, anger, pain. He had the fear and the anger, but the pain… he faked it. The holorecording, the way he planted the suggestion in my mind that I needed to hurt you for my… unreciprocated feelings…"

Her lips quirked. "I was starting to wonder if you'd picked up on that… his tone of voice, the way you just lost all emotion… he was putting heavy pressure on your mind to adhere to his suggestions, to interpret them in his way. Had you been more thoroughly trained in all aspects of the Force," she said ruefully, "you'd have caught it at the time, and been able to fight it, it usually only works on non-Jedi, and weak-minded ones at that." He nodded. "What then?"

Hesitating briefly, he caught her eyes and then looked away again. "He contrived it so that he knew you'd sacrifice yourself for Jacen…" he left off as she scowled. "Okay… he… shavit, Jaina, I don't know. He…" his face paled. "He saw how affected I was by hurting you."

"Yes."

"That's what you caught on to in that memory." She nodded solemnly. "So he…" his stomach sank as the full realization began to take effect. "I was weak; I wasn't ruthless enough for him. His machinations from then on were multi-purposed then- yes, he wanted you and Jacen to break, but he wanted to purge me of my attachment to you. Just like Jacen said… I was his pawn…" he took a shuddering breath. "And from then on, it was always about pushing me further as much as you, knowing that it was killing something inside of me every time I touched you, every time I saw how uncomfortable you were…"

"Just like Jacen said," she murmured, repeating him.

His voice took on a slightly hysterical edge. "But my fear of disappointing him, of losing all I had earned… my anger that I still felt over your 'decision' that put you in my room in the first place… the pain that I had been wrong about you and Jacen- you, especially… it didn't matter that I was killing myself inside, I couldn't let him down."

A soft smile curved the corners of her lips. "Which brings us to the matter of how- and why- you broke free."

X-X-X-X

"Mom and dad are coming with Anakin."

Luke glanced up at his nephew, who was still sitting a silent vigil by the side of Jaina's bed that was not occupied by Zekk. "What do you want to do?" he murmured, taking in Jacen's weary expression, glancing over at the unconscious pair who had showed no outward signs of change in… he looked at the chrono... three more hours- save that Zekk had finally tightened his own grip of her hand, so they were clasped together, fingers intertwined.

Only Cilghal seemed unaffected by the uneventful, sleepless night, still watching in rapt attention as their brainwaves alternated and varied, danced around each other. He half-suspected that, when this was all over, she wanted to conduct more extensive research in whatever was going on between them.

"Uh…" Jacen looked down at Jaina's face and then sent a lingering look to where their hands sat curled together, pursing his lips. "Stall?"

Kyle Katarn walked in the room after having taken a two-hour break for a nap and a sanisteam. "Stall?" he asked. "Your sister is unconscious- has been for, what? Five days now? And you think that you can stop them from coming in here? Jacen, your father doesn't even need the Force to break his way in, it's his daughter that's hurt."

Jacen's lips quirked wryly. "Yeah, I know."

"I'll head them off," Luke finally relented. "Try to er… explain. But Cilghal, I might start working up some good theories on ways to end this before Han blows a gasket…" He stepped around the privacy screen and quickly departed the med ward, only reaching the corridor about ten seconds before the turbolift at the end of the hall arrived with a whir and opened with a hiss.

"Luke!" Leia hurried forward. "Is everything alright?"

He held up a hand to stop the trio from going any further. "It's… fine," he said slowly. "But listen…"

"What happened last night?" Han demanded. "I thought Jacen was going to help Cilghal try to reach her…"

"He did- and he succeeded only slightly," Luke quickly explained. "She communicated with Jacen extremely briefly and then threw him out of her mind, I guess." Han and Leia looked perturbed; Anakin just nodded acceptingly. "And when he meditated on what had happened, on what she said… he came to an… interesting conclusion…"

They stared at him for a few beats. "What sort of conclusion? Does he know what's wrong with her?" Han asked quickly.

"No, not any more than we already did," he said. "But- you remember what Cilghal said, that Jaina was waiting on something or someone? Jacen came to believe that she was waiting on… Zekk."

Han blinked and the snorted his laughter. "Real funny. What does Jacen want to do, let him out and bring him down here?"

"He's already here," Anakin broke his silence.

"Yes," Luke shrugged apologetically. "He's been here for about nine hours now."

"Nine hours?" Leia shook her head. "Luke…"

"What if he's just doing more damage?" Han asked hotly, stepping around Luke and striding angrily forward. Luke let him go, knew that he would not be halted, but called after him.

"Han…"

The door burst open, and Luke, Leia, and Anakin hurried behind as Han wrenched open the privacy curtain around Jaina's bed- Jacen was waiting for him though, standing in front of Zekk's slumped form. "Dad…"

"What is wrong with you? Are you trying to antagonize your sister more now?"

"Wait…"Jacen was shoved sideways as Han made to grab Zekk, to pull him away from the bed, barely seeming to register that the boy was unconscious and attached to a handful of monitoring machines himself. "Dad…"

He grabbed for Zekk's arm- and then found himself stumbling backwards a few steps. He looked up in angered surprise- and the surprise only grew greater as he saw the source of his hindrance.

"Captain Solo," Cilghal barked deeply. "Wait."

X-X-X-X

They were lying side-by-side now, arms folded over their chests, staring up at the ceiling, evoking memories of the dozens of times they had laid like this and talked, often in the middle of the night, whispering to avoid waking up anyone else in the suite.

"Have you figured it out yet?"

"Yes."

She rolled slightly, looking up at him expectantly. "Oh?"

"Yes. It all goes back to when he altered my memory- or maybe when he first used the Force to persuade me to act against you," he winced, but she just nodded. "You're the one who said that he did more… he blocked all of my positive feelings towards you, and my own feelings of regret or remorse."

"That's right."

He rolled to his side too, and they were facing each other with their faces only inches apart. "And I figured out what I was trying to do the first morning you woke up, and you threw me across the room… I felt guilty; I wanted to put you in a healing trance myself. That's why I was surprised that Jacen already had. But whatever influence Brakiss left on my mind- or my own refusal to hold on to such a human emotion- wouldn't let me remember that I was worried about you for long." He paused, took a deep breath. "So… I fought it subconsciously instead."

That earned a surprised flicker of her eyes, and he grinned. "Have I uncovered something that the master memory-analyzer has failed to pick up on?"

"Do enlighten me," she drawled dryly.

"He made everything I did feel like my choice, no matter how much or little he manipulated my final actions; this heightened my guilt, which I wouldn't let myself feel… so I funneled the process down to you. Made things look- to me- like your choices. And that last night… when it became so obvious that it was not your choice, when I took your cuff off…" he shuddered. "That's when the illusion shattered."

A small smile came across her face as she thought it over. "You really were angry when Brakiss agreed to my proposal, to leave Jacen alone."

"Yes."

"Because it felt like my choice- but I never specified the conditions of the agreement, only that you stop hurting Jacen."

He looked at her, suddenly suspicious. "You knew… you said… you already had realized that it was you that I wanted to… to hurt- that Brakiss wanted me to hurt," his voice caught, and her hand reached over to pull his into the small space between them, where she held it and stroked the back comfortingly. "Because… because the first time, you could read just how much he had twisted my mind… and then… you did something…"

"That's right," she smiled. "What did I do?"

His face took on a dazed, dreamy look as he fought through the blurred memory, altered by his inability to retain positive feelings for her, negative ones about what he was doing to her… and then it came to him, and he understood so much more, about everything…

"That's why you're here," he breathed. She frowned, confused. "Because… at that moment, you saw that I wasn't myself… 'This isn't you. Don't do this; not like this. You don't want to hurt me, you've never hurt me. We're friends.' That's what you told me. And then, to prove it… you forgave me." He stared into her eyes, which were mildly uncomfortable for the first time. "You forgave me before I'd truly hurt you and then… when I did… that's what you're reconciling. You offered unconditional forgiveness to someone who turned around and hurt you ten times worse, and it tore you apart because… because I wouldn't come see you, I couldn't give you the confirmation you needed that your forgiveness had been justified, that underneath, it wasn't really me…"

"Yes." Her voice was far away, dreamy almost. "I'm not sure I even realized it until now… but yes."

"So this whole thing… understanding why I did what I did, why I betrayed you all and then turned around and betrayed Brakiss… has really just been about justifying to yourself that you were right about me."

She shrugged. "I did say I might have a hidden agenda or two; I never said I knew what it was." Her expression turned very serious though. "Don't think that your own understanding isn't just as important," she warned.

He looked pained. "I know; and I do understand, at least I'm starting to… but how do I know that it won't happen again? That I won't let fear and anger win, that I won't allow myself to be manipulated by someone else…?"

She smiled broadly. "That, Zekk… that cannot happen here. Remember- what we are doing, where we are… this can only serve to further your realization, your understanding, you need to embrace those… but the healing itself… that needs to happen elsewhere."

"Where?"

A soft peal of laughter tickled his heart. "Only the mystical realm of reality," she replied wryly. "Come…" she rolled off the bed and stood, pulling him up with her. "Let's go somewhere else."

And then they were standing beside a large pool with a waterfall crashing down from above, spraying mist all around from the hundred-meter drop. Encircling the water were trees of a dozen kinds, the calls of hundreds of animals distinguishable somehow above the sound of the water… just as her own soft voice was easily heard, despite the surrounding noises.

"Do you recognize it?"

He knew that he certainly had never been here before. "No."

"It's Alderaan." He blinked, confused. "There's a holo of this spot in my parents' bedroom back on Coruscant. My mother and Winter used to come here and go swimming when they lived in the royal palace together."

"It's beautiful."

She murmured her agreement, and led the way around the pool, taking in the sights and sounds with an eager, youthful curiosity. When they had circled the wide perimeter a lifetime later, coming back near the spot where they started, she took his hand and led him over towards the wooded area, finding a convenient area of open grass. Acting as one, they shed their outer cloaks- which they hadn't been wearing back on Coruscant or anywhere else, he noted curiously- and laid them on the ground, making a blanket.

They lay down side-by-side again, but much closer than before, arms pressed together, hips brushing against one another. "Are we going to be eaten by some predator?" he asked casually as he listened to the calls of the wildlife.

"Oh," she flushed, "no." Abrubtly the noises stopped, save the sound of crashing water. "There aren't any really- I was just using sounds from Yavin, mostly, I have no idea what sorts of animals lived on Alderaan."

The mind was a powerful tool indeed.

"So… what now?" he broke a comfortable silence that had stretched on for another eternity.

She turned her head to him, a serene smile gracing her features. "Do you feel like you understand, you realize all you need to, in order to move on, to grow? Have you accepted what has been so that you can look forward to what is to come?"

"Yes." His answer came quickly, without hesitation, surprising even him. "I think… if he'll allow it… that I'll stay around Yavin for a while and work through things with Master Skywalker."

"He'll allow it," she murmured, looking back up at blue-green skies.

He glanced sidelong at her peaceful expression. "So… do we go back now?"

"Back?" she turned again, propping herself on an elbow. "You don't like it here?"

He blinked. "I… I do, of course, but…" he frowned, seeing her defiant eyes, the wary set of her face, of her posture… "Jaina," he murmured, "you can't hide forever."

For a tense minute- or hour- she stared at him; and then, releasing a heavy sigh, she slumped down, resting her head against his shoulder, curling her body along his side. His arm fell naturally across her shoulders, drawing her close, listening to the sound of her slow, steady breath. "I know," she finally said. "But… we could stay a while longer, just the two of us…"

"Jaina," he reached his free hand around and cupped the side of her face, vaguely registering that he would never have touched her like this before, but it didn't seem to matter. "Do you know how long you were here before I showed up?"

"Time does not exist," she said calmly. "Haven't you realized that?"

"For you," he exclaimed. "And right now, for us… but you'd already been unconscious for four days before I came, and who knows how long it has been now?"

Her face fell slightly at that declaration. "I just… don't want to hurt anymore," she admitted softly.

"I thought the only pain was the pain you allowed to hurt you?"

She grinned. "That's here," she said. "When you wake up… those rules won't apply; it will hurt, Zekk- you'll just be a step closer to moving on from the pain."

He lowered his face close to hers, peering earnestly into her soft, brown eyes. "And the Jaina Solo I know would never run from a fight; did you come to an understanding with everything you needed?"

"Yes." Again, the response was without hesitation, the single word containing absolute surety, and he was glad. "With your actions… my forgiveness… Jacen's anger…" she didn't elaborate on the last, and he didn't pry. "I have what I need."

"Then come back with me." She looked wistfully around at the trees, at the isolated and peaceful pool and the waterfall crashing down the cliff into it. "Please. Your family needs you."

"Just my family?"

"I need you." Still, she was reluctant. He sighed. "Okay then, if you don't come back, your father will kill me."

She laughed. "Now that is a reason I believe."

"You should believe the others," he said, a little hurt. "They're true too." She turned and met his gaze, biting her lip, eyes calculating. Without a second thought, he leaned over and placed a soft kiss against the corner of her mouth. "Come back," he repeated, still cupping her face in his hand, his thumb stroking her cheek. "I do need you." He hesitated. "Jaina… I lo-"

"No."

He froze, eyes wide, too surprised to be hurt.

"Not here," she said, shaking her head. "You can't say that here."

"Why?"

She smiled sadly and pulled away from his hovering face. "Because the pain will come, and you need to handle that first. As do I. There can be no declarations, no promises, not if you really want to go back, not if you want me to go with you. We need to heal from what has already happened before we can move on."

Nodding stiffly, he understood, as much as he tried to deny it. "Okay." Leaning forward, he brushed one last kiss across her forehead, and then stood, reaching out for her hand and pulling her to her feet. "I'm ready. Are you?"

Steeling herself, she nodded. "I'll be right there with you; I promise."

They closed their eyes.
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Reconciliation	By : LexiLupin Category: Star Wars (All) > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 3594 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Reconciliation