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March 25, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I read the first 4 chapters. I think that even though it wasn't quite my cup of tea, it was pretty good over all. I only saw a few grammar mistakes. The characters are done well and they certainly come alive.
However, the setting could use a little work. It wasn't until Butterfly came that I knew it was set in LA. You also didn't describe where the boys lived, how old they were, so on and so forth. You also should've described Butterfly's appearance when she first entered the scene.
However, the setting could use a little work. It wasn't until Butterfly came that I knew it was set in LA. You also didn't describe where the boys lived, how old they were, so on and so forth. You also should've described Butterfly's appearance when she first entered the scene.