rate_review Reviews

I'm not one of your e-mail flamers, but I'll admit to really being bothered by this story. I've been reading it over the past few days and am finally caught up enough to comment.

In a nutshell, your Vader is nothing but a sadist. We've moved from a character who made a Faustian Bargain in ROTS to a rapist and torturer just a few short years later. How? Why? In your story, he kills kids on a whim....very, very different from what happened with the Tuskens and at the Temple. Your Vader doesn't even have the daily torture of living in the suit as an excuse. I guess what I'm getting at is that I just don't 'believe' the character. When did he make the leap from a heartbroken, manipulated young man to the worst human being imaginable. The guy is psychotic.

I understand that you're trying to make his self-loathing the cause of his monstrous actions, but I think you've pushed him too far over the line. Instead of his remembrances and daydreams showing his true self coming to the fore, they only seem to show a deeper slide into insanity. The story should stand on its own, without the author having to explain what's going on. If you wanted the reader to keep something in mind, you should have added an omniscient narrator.

It's also hard to continue reading a story when you don't care about the main character. I stopped caring about Ani/Vader around the first time he raped the Padme-look-a-like. Where did that come from? Sprinkle on a little nonsensical child murder, continuous women beating and torture and the rape of his wife and now I'm just scratching my head. This is miles beyond self loathing! You've mentioned that you are planning a bitter sweet ending. Bitter sweet?!?! This guy deserves to burn in the deepest recesses of hell. Your Vader is no longer the sad, weak lap dog of the emperor...he's in control of everything in the galaxy but his mind! Am I supposed to still feel badly for him?

I kept reading, waiting for a chapter that would explain Vader's motivation. I was hoping to read that Anakin's body had somehow been possessed by Sidious or another Sith lord, or some other goofy reason for his behavior. I'm not necessarily looking for a happy ending, but something that brings a level of coherence to the story.

Obviously, some other readers love this story. Maybe it's just not my cup of tea, though I enjoy other dark fics. You asked for input, so I'm giving it. Do with it what you will.

The other thing that bugs me has nothing to do with your story. Other authors on this site seem to use the review listings to respond to their readers. By adding a chapter update every time you have something personal to say, it looks like you're finding an excuse to up your own story.

Anyway, this is solely my opinion. I don't claim to speak for any of your other critics and nothing I've said was meant to be mean.

Well I really like your story, even through it always makes me sad, poor Anakin and Padme ::sob::

Maybe those person that leave you a bad review don't like angst or dark fics, I don't know but if they give you a comment they should explain or not write you at all.

bye

dm

Don't listen to the flamers. Your story is wonderful. It's well written and the emotions/angst is portrayed perfectly.

Chance:
I don't know who's flaming you...I love this story. I check for updates every single day. My ONLY complaint is that it doesn't get updated fast enough. Your writing style flows very well, and I think that you are articulating Anakin/Vader's struggle VERY well. I'd like to see him confirm the kids are his...I mean WE have DNA testing & haven't invented a warp drive.
I did want to ask...when were the two little kids murdered. I'd sure like to see that turn out to be a mistake on their mother's part. Sort of a cruel joke on Vader's part. I have a funny reaction any time kids or dogs are killed maliciously. That's about the only thing that MIGHT have turned me off of this story...but I was holding on to see if maybe Vader made her THINK he'd killed the kids. That was his one big trump card with her, and you can't undo it once it's done.

I must say that I am enjoying this story. The conflict in Vader is very believable, and although he does terrible things, he doesn't seem to be completely evil. Ignore the flames and write more soon!

i like and dislike this story really i like it but anakin/vader's indesisviness is kinda getting to me also id like obi back in the picture for a bit there it seemed they might reconsile.

Snow

Very sad, moving chapter. I love the juxtaposition.

YOU SAID IT CHANCE!!! TELL IT LIKE IT IS!!! LOL

What a sad comparison! Between Anakin's little daydream and what really happened with him and Padme. I wonder why he didn't just beg for forgiveness like he obviusly wanted to, though I suppose maybe his pride is preventing something like that. I don't know, but while I'm not convinced he's past the point of redemption, I think he's gone past the point of where Padme could forgive him. Doing what he did (no spoilers! lol) most likely pushed her past that.

MORE???

I have been following this story from the beginning and I am finally taking the time to review. The story is so dark and haunting. The pain both Anakin and Padmé are going through makes it a very difficult read. I fear that there will be no happy ending to this piece. You feel so sorry for both of them as well as Si-Nia, who is truly the innocent in all of this. I both anticipate and dread the remaining chapters.