schedule
June 3, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Another great chapter with interesting charac. Yo. You have a great handle on Lucas' creations, and the original characters are really coming into their own. Burl in particular has clear motivations and a fully-realized backstory.
The diner scene juggled exposition and comedy very well.
A couple of constructive criticisms---some of the alien characters, especially the minor ones, are hard to keep straight if you don't have a guide to the expanded universe handy. A few more descriptive passages (do they have claws? fins? 18 eyes? a blowhole? Details, please!) would help. Also, Leia's dialoge seems a little flat (but that might be because of the exposition-heavy nature of the scene.) But compared to Luke's and Burl's dialoge, which seem very fresh and natual, comecomes off a litttilttilted.
On to the Siege!
The diner scene juggled exposition and comedy very well.
A couple of constructive criticisms---some of the alien characters, especially the minor ones, are hard to keep straight if you don't have a guide to the expanded universe handy. A few more descriptive passages (do they have claws? fins? 18 eyes? a blowhole? Details, please!) would help. Also, Leia's dialoge seems a little flat (but that might be because of the exposition-heavy nature of the scene.) But compared to Luke's and Burl's dialoge, which seem very fresh and natual, comecomes off a litttilttilted.
On to the Siege!