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Reviews for The Kingdom of Hell

By : TheRedPony
  • From ANON - crimson blade on April 16, 2005
    *shakes head* I'm sorry. I just couldn't continue to read this. I got up to chapter 6 before I stopped. To put it bluntly, your grammer and spelling in here stinks. I'm sorry, but in my opinion, it does. I can tell you now, you fix it, and I PROMISE to continue reading. I mean, the story is a good idea and all, but it needs tweaking here and there, the timeline is a little hard to follow (yes I know your skipping around, but you need to give us a better idea of what scean it is or which one it's leading up to), and the spelling anf grammer is KILLING ME!!

    *bows* Gomen, I like to give good reveiws, but I feel it's cruel not to point out things, expecially grammer. It just makes it to hard to read and takes all the fun out of it. Oh, by the way, the begining to the 2nd chapter is screwed up. And who the hell is Fish and Mouse? I'm guessing they're your origional charcters?

    *bows again* I'm really sorry. All you need to do is go through your chapters over again once and you'll probably catch the majority of the mistakes. *holds out a cookie* Peace?
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  • From ANON - Cathy S on May 07, 2004
    I really like your story! I love the Twins. They're great, and I don't think I've ever seen a story where they get real bodies. ;) ld bld be interesting. . . By the way, you said you need a beta - I have to agree. Your fic is well written, but some of the grammar/spelling errors can detract from it. If you still need one (a beta) I'd be happy to do that for you.

    - Cathy S aka Jaza
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  • From ANON - TheRedPony on July 21, 2003
    Lol Alex your off your rocker!

    Actualy story is a bit on hold becasue chapters 1-9 are beining totatly rewritten, becuase I think the plot sux.

    Shouldn't be too long hopfuly!
    (sorry no pregnate twins lol :P )
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  • From ANON - devil_hunter_shampoo@hotmail.com on July 19, 2003
    Hi, like I said before I you your story ... you didn't told me anything about the one of the twins getting pregger's ... well at least you didn't called me a crazy fuck ... oh and does FanFiction.net work on your side ... because in my side doesn't work ... I don't know what's wrong with them ... oh well keep on writing this cool story!

    Alex.
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