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Reviews for My Yautja, My Friend.

By : PeggyLuXXX
  • From xCubicZirconia on September 28, 2010
    Awesome! Are you going to update soon?
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  • From pewpew on July 19, 2010
    I don't often critique fanfic but since you said advice is welcome, I'll give it a shot.

    First, I cannot stress this enough, get a beta reader. This will help you immensely, no matter what skill level you write at. The forum is a good place to look for one if you're not sure how to go about it.

    A beta reader will help you clear out your punctuation and grammar errors. They're also good for general feedback and encouragement. It's super important to polish your story so people can enjoy it when they read (as opposed to being confused or pulled out of the story by obvious errors).

    Second, your chapters are too short. I feel like I read chapter one and half of chapter two after reading the entire post. Condense them down, please. :)

    I agree with other reviewers that the story is rushed. I also want to add that being so rushed it doesn't seem believable. Most women don't want to have sex with an alien an hour after meeting. Add in the fact that she was just attacked, and it's less believable.

    Can you smudge the line of believability? Sure; I recommend it because it's great fun. I do it all the time. Chapter two of my own pred fic is a giant leap with my female lead jumping into bed with a second predator. It helps if you try to make it sound reasonable (I don't think I convinced everyone with my flimsy excuses but I gave it best effort).

    There are some plot holes too. First she wants to be fired then she begs for her job is a good example.

    I think the story isn't half bad, but it needs some TLC. Stick with it. I look forward to updates.
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  • From girlyhero on July 18, 2010
    I agree. It's going too fast and seems too short for that many chapters. It also has several cliches, but then again, pornographic stories generally do; it's still something you want to avoid. But I've read worse. It could use a good editing is all.
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  • From butterflies1974 on July 17, 2010
    Very interesting but I would have to add that you shouldn't hurry the story for I felt that the last two chapter were a bit on the rushed side of things. So I guess my only complaint is that you should let the story develop naturally. Otherwise I look forward to reading more.
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