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Reviews for the new secretary

By : misterpink5000
  • From ANON - Anon on March 20, 2005
    Hmm. The Secretary section is in dire need of fics, So I'm happy to see this, but it does need a little work. You've got the basic workings down, but I think the plot needs some rethinking. As a reader, I'm asking a few things as I read: first and most importantly is "Why is Edward unsatisfied with Lee now that they're married?" Has Lee done something? Has Edward always liked younger girls? Would Edward, being a lawyer, really allow himself to go for a 15 year old, knowing it's illegal? If he would -- why? Would the girl's father's firm have allowed her to work there during the summer if she was only 14? What was she doing there? Was she an intern? Does she want to work in her father's field, or did she need money for something? I just need more background to flesh out the characters and the changes before I can see any sex happening. This could be good if you work on it -- you could explain about Lee and have interaction there. Or you could just do an AU and get rid of Lee all together -- say she married Peter in the end! :) Good luck!
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  • From on November 23, 2004
    really good so far! post soon again! you portrayed edward very well
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  • From ANON - brenz on September 08, 2004
    the only problem I have with it is... well, it'd be like cheating and whatnot, and I thought they (edward & lee) were sort of in a hot, firey love. Well, what I'm saying is that your story undermines the whole movie. Blah. But I like it. Nicely written.
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  • From Nesia on August 23, 2004
    It has agood beginning so far. I'm praying this OC is not a Mary Sue, because than I would cry, because I've seen beautiful fanfics go to waste that way.

    Don't Worry, I'm just saying that 'cause I like the story. ^.^;
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  • From ANON - della on March 08, 2004
    I don't.
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  • From ANON - Wilhelma on January 17, 2004
    I like it.

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