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Reviews for A Change of Course

By : JediWalflower
  • From ANON - Madoushi Clef on July 25, 2003
    Oooooooooooooooh. I like this. I like your Elizabeth. I like your Will. What's the sword look like? And how will Jack meet up with Will again? Oh, don't tell me the new gov'ner'll try to hang Will and Jack'll rescue him. (Been there, done then. And yes, I DO have a skull and crossed cutlasses t-shirt--just fer tha movie. Then again, Jack could impersonate another member of the clergy... ~_^)

    I really do want to see what happens. Write more. And quickly please. Thanks!
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  • From ANON - Lissa on July 25, 2003
    Alright, I've actually got some constructive critisism! *glares at her 'muse' until he applauds* ^_^ -Sano will give you the list, in the order in which I found the errors/places for improvement.
    Sano(my 'muse'): #1-Near the beginning, the section about the cannon balls, maybe you could phrase that "die by them" rather than "die from them". Sounds better, if you ask me.
    #2-When Norrington was talkin' to Will about Elizabeth. I can't remember exactly, but he said something with the word area, spelled "aria" which is the music, not location. Isn't spell check evil?
    #3-Okay, after that, when Will was thinking about the Black Pearl coming back. You typed Pear;
    #4-After Elizabeth had left, I think it was a life tinged with "hear", which shoulda been fear...
    #5-And in the next paragraph, you forgot to capitalize Will.
    Now, Lissa would tell ya how much she loved yer fic, but she's busy tryin' to kill the fly that's been landin' on the computer screen for the past 30 minutes. So...um...yeah... *grabs a bottle of sake and exits off stage right*

    Email me and I'll love you forever. And...I'll share my muse. ~*~Lissa~*~
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  • From ANON - Renee on July 25, 2003
    Erin,
    I knew that you had a passion for writing, but until reading this I had no idea how truly talented you are. As I mentioned before, your style is fluid and your language is beautiful. The metaphors fit so smoothly into the story; they aren't showy or cumbersome.

    I did notice a few typos and such, but I'm assuming that's what this "beta" person on vacation is for, so I won't harp on that.

    Your attention to detail is applaudable... despite obvious changes to the main characters' preferences and lifestyle, they still seem incredibly true to the movie... I don't know how you did it, but there was a seamless transition of the Will I knew from the cinema into the desirous homosexual of a man. Your characters have more depth than the movie's.

    There's one thing I wonder about... you seem to be taking Jack's character into a different direction than Johnny Depp did. I read an interview with him... he said that he developed his character by thinking of pirates as rock stars, and even modeled Jack after Mick Jagger... slurring words, alcoholism and all. When Will describes the way Jack moves and such, it doesn't seem so quirky as in the film. Was this deliber Is Is Will's view of Jack obscured because of his infatuation, or is Will now slightly less neurotic? I guess I'll just have to wait until Will makes his eagerly anticipated appearance.

    The layout is there... I can't wait for the slash chapter(s). My thoughts are that Will is the... ahem... bitch. But don't let that thought influence you if it wasn't what you were going to do... I would love to see what that mind of yours comes up with.

    Excellent work thus far,
    Keep on writing...

    Renee
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  • From ANON - Jane Silver on July 24, 2003
    Jack you better hurry or Will might not be in very good shape for much longer no thanks to the Commander.
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  • From ANON - Nita! on July 24, 2003
    Hello, I would like to say, I adore your work. You managed to create and capture the vibrant purity of the character William Turner. You managed to get Elizabeut out of the way without destroying her persona and keeping her the type of woman she is and has always been. You are truly excelling in this story and I hope you will receive all the feedback you deserve.

    -sucks her jolly roger lolli-
    Nita
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  • From ANON - Wren on July 24, 2003
    Weak?? !! Are you crazy?? that was perfect.. what a lovely chapter.. oh wow.. i have to go read the whole thing again just to take the measure of it really.. .. i am really going to have to go take a look at the challenge you keep mentioning.. that was bitter sweet.. can't wait to see the commodors reaction and please please jack soon.. lol.. love the way will puts emotion into his work.. so is it a little heart magic or what.. lol.. grr.. ok going to re re re read this.. lol.. Wren
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  • From ANON - Mel on July 24, 2003
    Very nice! I like this approach to Jack/Will; having them not just get together at the beginning, I mean. Original! ^_^ And I think you've captured Elizabeth really nicely! You didn't make her evil! (Happens a lot in fics, I've noticed O_o)

    Very nice job with the dreams, they seemed weird enough to be realistic. ^_- If you know what I mean.

    Anyhow, excellent over all -- I can't wait for more!
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  • From ANON - Datiye on July 24, 2003
    I just love how you made Will so passionate about his work in this last chapter. Now tha Elizabeth is gone does that mean that Jack will be coming soon? I hope so. I dearly want to see him and Will be together. Oh, and Norrington is a pompus ass and you have potrayed him well if not more asslike than ever.
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  • From ANON - Cyn on July 24, 2003
    This story is WONDERFUL!!!! It's just so... I mean, xplaxplains everything wonderfully and very imaginative. I just fell in love with this story. Please, you must continue. This is the best Will/Jack I've seen.
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  • From ANON - Akemi on July 23, 2003
    Oi, blimey! This is excellent!! ^______^ Whee, and it's going to be a long or partly long story, eh? Will/Jack are the cutest couple (and it's not too bad that I have fantasies involving Orlando and Johnny ^_~ lol) So, update this marvelous story very soon, 'kay?
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  • From ANON - Finduilas on July 23, 2003
    I love it!! In all seriousness, I really do love it.
    It's a wonderful fic, and the fluidity (...I'm hoping that's a word...cursed summer vacation is melting my brain) of your words ties everything together all so well!! Your descriptions of feelings and character portrayal is great. And, as much as I openly despise Elizabeth, your way of fading out the so-called love between her and Will to just platonic friendship instead of just killing her off is admirable. (Although that killing her off idea, it is tempting, I tell you...)
    Do continue, otherwise i'll take away all your rum, savvy? ^_^

    Love, Pirates, Rum, and Slash,
    Finduilas
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  • From ANON - Amazon on July 23, 2003
    His 'dream' was freaking weird! But so far damn good. The thing with his shoe was funny. Do more!
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  • From ANON - Cat on July 22, 2003
    I love it so far! Haha, a story for me! You need to assign me something now. Maybe tomorrow while we're painting the town red. Don't forget the rum! ;) Jack is my hero. This review doesn't make much sense. I just feel special because it's a story for me, and I get to read it as a work in progress. Woo! Give me something to write for you!
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  • From ANON - Wren on July 22, 2003
    Oh Please say that isn't it.. more more.ore.. we are going to get Elizabeth married off to someone worthy right.. will it be the commodor or an OC?? I can't wait for will and jack to get togetherase ase say you are going tote tte that part too.. not that were you left it isn't ok too.. but only if you are really really barbbosa evil.. lol.. laters wren..
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  • From ANON - Jane Silver on July 22, 2003
    I wounder what dreams Jack is having? His his mind showing him Will being killed by the pirets to lift their cures dening him the chanse to show Will how much he loves him? Pleace update soon.
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