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Reviews for Barbossa's boys

By : CandyMoore

From ANON - Julie-Rae / Yakkorat on January 16, 2004
"Barbossa laid the flat of the blade against the pale, unmarked flesh of Will's cheek and grinned to himself at the flash of fear in the near black eyes.
Slowly, he dragged the blade lower, pressing the tip to the fluttering pulse point in Will's throat. He noticed how still the boy became, as if he hardly dared to breath." -- Other than the fact that it should be "breathe" not "breath", this line is absolutely brilliant. You can see every nuance, every shift in Will's facial expression... Hell you can even feel the cold of the steel against your skin. Very VERY well written.
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"He placed it between perfect white teeth before leaning over and kissing the blacksmith, biting half the slice away and earning a growl from Jack." -- I'd growl too! Seriously, though, taking a "Lady and the Tramp" moment and perverting it like that... I'm breathless. Barbossa reinforces that feeling of evil evil evil every time he touches, moves, says or does ANYTHING. You really wrote the proverbial dirty old man so exceedingly well.
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"All the while he kept an eye on bounbound pirate, enjoying the scalawag's misery at Will's quiet moans." -- This is the most exquisite thing of all... it really is the most sublime torture, and it's ongoing, which just makes my day. Will is the one being touched, but who is in more anguish? The man? Or the man who loves him and who can do nothing to help him? Angst in spades... you are the MASTERS of it. I bow down before you.
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"Kiss me back, boy, keep yer eyes open, too." He licked his lips and thrust his hips, forcing a groan from the blacksmith. -- This was such a beautifully evil touch. He really has robbed Will of any possibl escapism, and forcing him to keep his eyes open just reinforces possession. Barbossa is no fool. He knows how to break a man.
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"Hard kisses, the wet noises of lips and tongues and the occasional muted clink of teeth easily reached Jack, who found himself growing hard against his wishes." -- That's the hardest part about being a man in those types of situations, that nobody seems to understand. Your own body can be used against you, and it frequently is. It's all the more horrific because, like most rape victims, the poor man has to wonder if there's some part of him that wanted or encouraged or didn't fight back as hard as he could... it was an incredible addition here.
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God, there's just so much I want to point out! Let me roll this all into one... The whole end of this attack, the sublty with which you described Will's reaction to it all, Jack's continued struggle to get free, even though he knows it's hopeless... you two are just so talented.
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"He gripped Jack's hair and pulled his head back, not allowing Jack to look at Will." -- Of course not, that would be too intimate. Can't have that. Damn bastard.
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"T'is simple. Treat it like ya would a sweet. Lick the head, take it in yer mouth, mind yer teeth - no biting- and suck till ya gets the cream." -- I've never heard it described to succintly, and so tactfully, and yet so very vulgar just because of who it's coming from and what the situation is. Bravo.
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"Barbossa kept eye contact with Jack, forcing his head back, as Will licked and sucked at Jack's turgid flesh. Barbossa's free hand roamed Jack's chest and played with his nipples." -- Again, he's always reinforcing possession. You two know a LOT about conditioning. It's obvious that even if you've never researched it, you have got a feel for it, a nal tal talent.
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"Back in bed, pet." Barbossa followed, his half-hard cock swaying as he moved behind Will. -- Oh, he called him "pet!" I know Jack is too drained to be outraged here, but I personally am going to go find the S.O.B. for that one... But again, reinforcing ownership. Ever read any of Anne Rice's stuff before she became Anne Rice? If you have, you know what I'm talking about, and you two could have taught her a thing or three.
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"Get some sleep, both of ya. One word, Jack, just one, an I'll tie the boy to the mast for the rest of the night." That stopped Jack cold. He knew that Barbossa would do just that, subject the innocent blacksmith to the evils of the Pearl's Damned crew. He closed his mouth and leaned back, taking the trembling youth into his arms and glaring at Barbossa. -- I had to include this entire section. The threat is genuine, and it's frightening, and Jack's reaction to it is priceless, I mean just perfect. He stays close-lipped, a real achievement for Jack, and takes Will, who is terrified, into his arms. It's so sweet it chokes me up. I mean my breath was hitched and I realized I'd been biting my lip for a paragraph or two. Made it bleed by the end of the story too. Your fault. (And I love you for it.)
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Another incredible chapter. Geez... I don't know how I'm going to get through these reviews... they're taking forever because so much is so good! Please, please, PLEASE keep it up.
Love,
Julie-Rae
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From ANON - Julie-Rae / Yakkorat on January 16, 2004
"Young Will Turner, son of Bootstrap Bill, shifted in his sleep, moving closer to Jack Sparrow" -- This is the first thing that tugged on my heartstrings. They're so sweet, looking to each other for comfort even in sleep, and Barbossa is PLAYING WITH HIMSELF watching them. You IMMEDIATLY set the scene with his lecherousness, his EVIL EVIL nature. It labels him immediately as "the bad guy" and makes Will and Jack innocent by default, even if they weren't already so innocently sweet. It sets him against them, even if you didn't know the back story.
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"Another subtle shift, and he was in Jack's arms." -- Again, it makes them so sympathetic, so loveable. These poor poor men.
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"How sweetly Will did t, wi, with the taste of apple slices stroked over his bound body." -- Now the bomb has dropped... we know that no only is he a voyeristic bastard but that he has had his way with Will (or so we assume), and since you so nicely paired Will and Jack in our minds and made them seem so innocent and loving, it can only be surmised that Will was unwilling. It was a wonderful piece of writing.
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"And sweet indeed were Jack's muffled cries as he sat, bound and gagged, so close- yet so far from his young lover." -- This one I have a pro and a con against. The first time I read it, it was unclear to me that this line was also a memory from the night before, so I was a little confused how Will could be in Jack's arms if Jack was bound and gagged to a chair. That having been said, the line still got to me. It stil made my stomach clench and my breath catch in my throat. As a matter of fact, this was the first line that devestated me. There were many many more.
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Will review the rest! Thanks SO much for writing this!
Love,
Julie-Rae
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From ANON - Yersi on January 06, 2004
Hey, that was so damm cool I can't say another thing, I Love Jack and I like this fic, continue, savvy?
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From ANON - Serenity on September 16, 2003
this tory is so so so fucking good! ive always liked this point of view. keep up the good work, ill keep my reviews coming. im really liking it so far.
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From ANON - Megan on August 22, 2003
Gah, I really really REALLY hope you keep writing. I'd cry forever if you didn't torture Jack some more..
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From ANON - kayla on August 20, 2003
it was really good. I can't find a lot of really good rape or non/con fics, so this was a good change.
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From ANON - Lightwing on August 16, 2003
Well, I'm not officially an Ohioan anymore, but I used to be! Nicely written, and angst and Orli is always a fave. I don't think I've ever seen that many hits on one story before! You've gotta know you're a good writer when over 6,000 people have read your story. My compliments.
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From ANON - Demoniclittlegirl on August 15, 2003
This is really cool!
I hope you update soon!
Great ideathe the way. kinky.
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From ANON - Deva on August 13, 2003
Awwww poor Jackie. I 'ad a rough time trying to find a fic where Jack gets raped. Very good.
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From ANON - Leah on August 12, 2003
You guys are doing a wonderful job!!! Ohio has the best writers =) I am reaaaaallllllly looking forward to seeing what happens when Will joins the picture. Keep up the good work. If you could only hear my excited squeal when I see you've updated.....especially since it seems that Will's grand entrance is approaching.

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From ANON - Snerkish on August 12, 2003
More, I bloody demand more. ^^; Sorry, inner dominatrix coming out. I loved it! So raw and mmm sexy. I want more Will fucking please ^^; Sorry, you have to admit Orlando is bloody gorgeous isn't he.
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From ANON - Lydia NightShade on August 11, 2003
OMG!!! This is soooooo good! I LOVE non-con slash you have no idea how sick I am! This was really interesting I haven't read a Jack rape fic yet. I think you kept him well in character. I can't wait for more!! I do hope you update soon!!!
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From ANON - Tyleet on August 11, 2003
Mmm. Need more. It were very nice. And you really get Barbossa's character. When is Will dearest going to reenter the picture? Keep it up!
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From on August 11, 2003
Chapter 7 was good. I only wish it hadn't been Barbossa and Jack....
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From ANON - JediGurrl*Achoolazytosignin* on August 11, 2003
*clings, blinking her big ol' bushbaby eyes* We wants mooooooooore, and we wants it nooooooooooow. Been readin' since the beginning, and love it so far. Always a big fan of Jack torture, though, I love the poor insane boy *pets him*
*offers an entire collection of Pirate!Weasley brothers for the next chapter*
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