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Reviews for Pristine Snow

By : jinx1764
  • From GossamerSilverglow on August 05, 2013
    I love the introduction. The way you’ve chosen to word that paragraph is really brilliant and I appreciate that Sarah’s sharing her special places with her brother. It follows her characterization solidly, after all, at the end of the movie she let Toby have Lancelot. The sentence involving “childish perceptions” also shows how much that experience changed Sarah. Her maturity level by the end of the movie skyrocketed from the beginning and I think you’ve caught and portrayed it well, with that sentence alone.

    “…I've since tasted, felt and lost.” There should be a comma after felt.

    Should you need us…I always wanted a sequel of Sarah growing older and still talking to her Labyrinth friends. Especially if Jareth knows it’s going on, even allowing it to an extent. He’ll always be a part of her past and the reason she grew into a woman instead of a girl. Just as her friends had helped in the transition. I really love that you mention this, that she still speaks to her friends, and that they all refuse to ask/speak of the Goblin King. If I didn’t read any further this would be a perfect drabble, but I am going to continue reading.


    “Either reality brings uncertainties I'm loath to face.” I’m should be I’d.

    Maybe say thank you…You’ve hit it on the nose in my opinion with characterizing an older Sarah and you’ve done it so beautifully. You have a way with description that I’m very envious about. This is only my second Labyrinth fan fiction and I must’ve been lucky to get two amazing first tries. Now the bar is so high from both of those fan fictions that I might get upset if I read anymore. I’m starting to worry…

    “The world of adults is fraught with stress and pain and not nearly enough imagination and joy.” Too true. I hate work and school. If I could spend my time reading, dreaming, and writing I’d be the happiest person ever!

    “The kind excellent snowballs are made of and perfect for a weekend, sibling romp through the frigid dunes.” That comma isn’t needed. Grammatically, I think it’s right, but for me personally I think it interrupts the flow of this particular sentence.

    “Pristine snow is magical snow.” I love this line. I love untouched snow myself and am extremely excited for winter. I want to use this line. I don’t have a story that has snow in it, but if I used the line I would totally credit you for it. Would you mind? I had a magnificent reviewer who left me great constructive criticism saying sometimes I get a little wordy and that less is sometimes more. This is prime example of that and just reiterates that statement as true. Thank you!

    Oh my God! The details when you described the ring…was there a book before there was a movie, did you come up with all that info, or did I just miss something in the movie?

    …………………….SEQUEL!!! Sequel, sequel, sequel…I’ll stop, but this was awesome! I love you for writing this. I’m gonna have to watch the movie again too. You’re an amazing writer and I’m grateful you felt the need to write this and share it. Amazing job!
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