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Reviews for Shattered

By : TarnishedArmour
  • From ANON - Sinner's Shadow on April 24, 2014
    Wondering as to the sequel. This story was not just eye catching, It rivals the original and many other well written best sellers. The content was rich with exhilarating twists with tasty bits that only served to entice all the more. I am intrigued as to what more you could add to enthall us with and further expand the plot. I am anxious for more.
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  • From ANON - -xyz- on December 05, 2013
    hi,
    this concerns chapter 3 the part where Sarah takes a discourse and thinks about politically correct gender neutral pronouns. It kind of takes one out of the flow of the story (which is wonderful and has a dreamy quality) and it does not fit in.

    She says it breaks a "man" and than talks about man being male and female. In this instance we only have one man and one woman who got broken and saying "man" reminds me as the reader automatically of Jareth which is not a bad thing but not neutral. One could use "person" if "human" excludes Jareth. Or just leave it to mean she thinks of Jareth and cut out her MEMORY of her teachers...

    I love your story so far this just bugged me as it jarred me out of the story flow.
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  • From Phedrelora on May 31, 2013
    I love this work. I absolutely loved the storyline, the rich world you've added to and the many depths of character development. I hope that you will continue on with this. I have way too many unanswered questions.
    Excellent piece!
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  • From Phedrelora on February 11, 2013
    Absolutely loved this story. So involved, so well written. It wasn't too wordy. This story has major potential to be a stand alone. I look forward to more of your posts.
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  • From ANON - StellaMaria on February 03, 2013
    I absolutely adored your story. I loved the detailing, the intense plots and twists, and the lessons learned. Your depictions of your characters were very dimensional and the tangents you went on to give more depth to your characters. The quotes from other stories were a nice touch to give Sarah the appearance of outer wisdom. I was very eager to read through the entire piece. Overall, I believe you have an amazing ability as a writer and will enjoy your future pieces.
    However, I do also have a few suggestions and critiques.
    I felt that your story's ending was predictable. I think there was not enough strain for Sarah to finish the labyrinth. I believe that you gave too many re-assurances throughout the story to obviously point out that Sarah would complete the Queen's run. There should have been more doubts between the characters to give the reader the impression that it was very possible that Sarah could fail, thus giving your audience a greater sense of urgency to complete the story. The main points where any sense of "urgency" were expressed, were when Jareth would ask her to hurry in his mind. Though it was a nice touch, and the outward skirmishes occurring throughout the kingdom helped, I think it should have been touched on a bit more. Another point I would like to touch on is that the story felt rushed at the end, especially when she went to the Ogre kingdom. Her last few challenges were supposed to be the hardest; that was the impression you put during the earlier parts of the story. It felt like you just wanted to rush through it and finish it up. However, by doing so, the rise of the climax was weak and a little disappointing.
    Though the last few chapters of the story was not as thrilling as I had hoped, the depth and detailing made it an absolutely delicious story. I cannot wait for the sequel. Good job and keep it up!
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  • From ethicalcannibal on February 03, 2013
    I wish this author published on Amazon. I'd buy anything they sold. Very good writing, very good plot, and it left me wanting much much more.
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  • From ANON - Turika Karadina on January 31, 2013
    What a magnificent piece of writing. You should publish this professionally. You would have to change the Labyrinth references into something original, of course, but it could easily be done. It would mostly be a matter of names. It really is a superbly original story. Thank you so much for a great deal of pleasure. And quite a few shocks too! ;)
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  • From ANON - Shadow on January 31, 2013
    I was very impressed with the level of thought and depth put into this story. It was a truely excellent work of art and I enjoyed it immensely. It was nice to read a Labyrinth fanfiction that had this kind of character in the work. It was very expansive and I loved it. I cant wait for the next installment to come out. Quite a thrilling read. :) 5 stars and two thumbs way up.
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  • From ANON - Turika Karadina on January 30, 2013
    This is absolutely wonderful. You're a very good writer.
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  • From ANON - LilianBlack on January 29, 2013
    OMG that was wonderful! I was so happy to see the update. and I wish i could pay you to write the sequal now and tell you to fuck work. but alas I cannot. So I will instead wait with baited breath until I see your next post. As always you a great story writer and will always be reading anything you write ^_^
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  • From jazzhello on January 26, 2013
    Awesome story please keep going!!!
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  • From ANON - Nyghthawk28 on December 03, 2012
    This is an epic and enthralling tale. I can't wait to see where else you'll take this story and I'm eagerly awaiting MORE!!!!!
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  • From ANON - Cara on December 03, 2012
    Please update soon Im captivated by your story!



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  • From ANON - LilianBlack on November 28, 2012
    I'm so happy to see an update ^_^ I loved the chapters, hate the wait lol. please update asap I can't wait to see what's next
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  • From ANON - Melody on September 14, 2012
    This is such an amazing story!!! Keep up the great work ^.^
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