Reviews for Wife's DutyBy : Kooriv |
I know you wanted this to just be a PWP, but I wanted to address something I noticed from a couple of things in your prose.
You have Padmé and Anakin both stating that Anakin cannot penetrate her vaginally due to her pregnancy. Though in this sentence
Her present state, and Anakin's prodigious length, meant the sex that had up until now been a regular segment of their married life, was out of the question, and Padmé decided to compensate in any way she could.
you indicate that it is because of his length that they cannot engage in this manner, it would actually be safer for the baby for them to engage in vaginal intercourse than in the anal intercourse that you describe.
Anakin is a little rough with her. You indicate this not only by having him "launch himself" at her, but also when he "bodily rolled her onto her stomach". While that wouldn't be an issue if she were not pregnant, given that the pregnancy is their primary reason for abstaining from vaginal intercourse, I would think they would be more careful with her abdomen, as rough treatment of that area is not recommended and can cause harm to the baby or other complications, such as premature labor.
There are cases in which vaginal sex is prescribed against by a physician during pregnancy. However, there seem to be no indications that Padmé is suffering from any physical impairment that would prevent her from engaging with her husband vaginally.
However, almost universally, obstetricians will caution against anal sex during pregnancy. Even when a woman is not pregnant, anal sex can result in bacterial infections which can cause urinary tract infections. This is something a pregnant woman would most certainly wish to avoid.
It's only a sticking point for me as far as your story because you are using the pregnancy to justify their decision to engage anally, when it would be much safer for the babies if they engaged vaginally.
Even were his length prodigious, Anakin could restrain himself to shallow penetration, or could satisfy himself with her orally after she has climaxed.
I hate to sound like a medical text, but it was hard for me to get to that moment of suspension of disbelief knowing that it would be safer for them not to engage anally. Sites that deal with what to/not to do during pregnancy are a boon and just a little research on this would easily give you a base for what you can/can’t do. Not only that, but being on a site where a large percentage of readership is female makes errors such as this more glaring, thus off-putting to those reading it.
Another point I noticed: you reference Anakin's "impressive girth". As such, it would be hard for a woman of Padmé's stature to take him comfortably anally normally, much less while pregnant.
Please understand, I'm not saying I didn't like your story. It is hard for me, however, to involve myself completely within a scene (yes, even PWP) when I cannot suspend my disbelief, as I've had a child myself, so know such things from experience. Though such things aren't the same for everyone, some things are universal in this area and well known. Just a tad more research into such subjects on numerous sites dealing with sex during pregnancy would give you a better understanding of what is recommended during that time and what isn't, thus making things more believable.
Also, I'm aware that everyone is aroused differently. This is just my opinion, but you might want to consider a different choice of words when describing their physical attributes. The specific sections I'm referring to are "sloppy hole" in reference to Padmé's vagina and "a wad of spit whapped" in reference to lubing Padmé's anus. I personally don't like the word bung or bunghole. Again, I recognize that this is a personal preference, and some may find cruder descriptions appealing.
I think you have a talent, and I do think you write well. Thank you for sharing this piece.
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