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Reviews for Unforgivable

By : Jawala39
  • From DesiringPirates on December 08, 2007
    But she did say no. And she said to stop. See?

    “Please don’t, you can’t, you won’t fi….OHHH!!”

    With one quick thrust he’d done it; pushed his way inside a part of her that was surely not designed to accommodate anything so large. The pain was exquisite. Tears filled her eyes and she clenched her fists, panting hard. It felt as though he would split her in two.

    “Stop now,”

    Lizzie is not in the wrong. Jack is.
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  • From tinamonic on December 08, 2007
    Yay! You updated! I loved it! I especially loved the atmosphee you captured throughout this whole chapter! I didn't notice that it was long! I loved how Jack was like the teacher and Lizzie was the student when he explained how that position feels! Great job as usual! Can't wait for the update!
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  • From briarlily on December 08, 2007
    Ohhh so sad for both of them! I'm so excited FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!
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  • From creativename on December 06, 2007
    Oh how I love public foreplay! Well done. I'm totally enthralled with this story!
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  • From on November 29, 2007
    Did I already mention I lurve this story? Thank you so much for your kind words. You can email me at fylmfan@aol.com.
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  • From freelke on November 26, 2007
    You're killing me :) I keep checking for the next chapter. Worth the wait though :)
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  • From Pearlseed on November 24, 2007
    Miz Perola Negra, You go to the head of the class this cold evening. Your story has made me all warm and fuzzy--ah, young lust between the Capt'n and Elisabeth, you got the activities all wonderfully bundled up and the diaglouge is fabulous. I can see them as I read your words, they are moving walking laughing and swiving in a beautiful world you made for me to read. Thank you so much for the very hard work you put out in the world and I hope you enjoyed writing this as much as reading pleasured me. Your Elisabeth is so spot on--so true. She's bold and shy, brash and quiet, brave and scared, naive and hot as hell. Jack, ah, Jack, oh, my Jack--you found his voice just right, his funny sense of what's right and the wicked little aspect involving "punishments" to be exacted. Just right fine what you've shared. I am very much in awe of your fertile twisty mind and all that goes on there. More please any time.
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  • From freelke on November 20, 2007
    I can't wait to see where you take the next chapter. Have a happy thanksgiving holiday :)
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  • From on November 18, 2007
    Umm...my bad...just to clarify, I meant you DIDN'T make Will a jerk, Jack a victim, etc. I realized after re reading my review that it could read like I was saying you DID make them like that.
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  • From on November 18, 2007
    One of the best fanfiction novellas I've ever read. In fact, the voices of the characters are so spot-on that I at times wondered if this was written by a Pirates screenwriter as a way of giving something nice to J/E fans who would inevitably be PO'd after seeing At World's End, and found myself trying to see if rearranging letters in "Perola Negro" revealed anything cryptic. It's almost inevitable that fanfic writers will turn Jack or Elizabeth into a version of themselves (I've been guilty of accidentally doing that sort of thing when writing fanfiction myself) but at least as far as I can see, you didn't do that.

    Also, it's not easy to write romance about nontraditionally romantic characters without making the characters too soft and sappy, especially when having said characters want babies, but you managed to pull it off. Wow. And there was no need to make Will a jerk or Jack a victim or Elizabeth a sinner who is obligated to be forever repentant and grovelling.

    I'm glad you noticed J&E's fondness for nose-nuzzling...I've wondered how many viewers of the movie picked up the fact that Elizabeth nose-nuzzled Jack after she shackled him, which, to me, is more of an expression of love than an actual kiss is, as the kiss can be motivated by lust but the nose-nuzzle is all about emotion. (If there are folks out there who nose-nuzzle out of pure lust, I apologize to you for being presumptious.) :)

    If you're written any original material under another penname please consider emailing me and letting me know.

    Rosa
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  • From freelke on November 17, 2007
    AHHH I can't wait to see what happens next. you have a real talent for creating suspense. I look forward to your next posting, whenever you have time. I still love this story :)
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  • From akathetoad on November 08, 2007
    Ah hurray more! Maybe Lizzie has PCOS like me. *shakes fist* Stupid bodies. Tell her to take some Metformin and call me in the morning. I eagerly await more. :-)
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  • From tinamonic on November 07, 2007
    I absolutely LOVED it! I thought it was hilarious how the midwife wanted to sleep with Jack for payment! Brilliant as always! Can't wait for more!
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  • From freelke on November 06, 2007
    YAY!!! thank you ! It made my day getting to read a new chapter. I love reading this story and every chapter is better and better. I love your point of view and you write both personalities very well :)
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  • From wisenedwonders on November 06, 2007
    Aww! I loved it. I love the passion between Elizabeth and Jack. They're such a cute couple.

    Now, that midwife scared me. Too...weird. lol

    Update soon, luv, yer doin' a great job!
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