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Reviews for Free

By : LittleHawke1
  • From ANON - Caranaraf on August 13, 2006
    I really liked the plot of this first chapter and I am curious whats going to happen next.
    though you could change your style of writing it is...well...to fast. you just state the action instead of describing it so a lot of atmosphere is lost. one example is
    >>“... and push your shoulder back in place, okay.” Dag stated softly.
    ...“One…Two…Three.” Dag pushed Rowan’s shoulder back into place.
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